Never Alone
by Su Freund
Summary: Jack seeks Daniel's help in obtaining the perfect birthday present for Sam, and the matchmaking archaeologist hatches a devious plot, blackmailing his friend into taking action he hopes will give Sam the best birthday gift ever – General Jack O'Neill!
1. Never Alone

Title: Never Alone

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst/Romance with a smattering of humour

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Mild language

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: none

Summary: With Sam's birthday around the corner, Jack is in need of some inspiration

Sequel/Series Info: None

Status: Complete

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 54 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: Inspired by a fic challenge on the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo Group, which was to write a drabble using the sentence "3 lighters, 2 MRE's and this shiny flashlight and that's my final offer." and/or the word "paperboy". Although this uses both, it is way more than a drabble, but the challenger, Secret Art, did say to feel free to use it for longer fics so I took her at her word. I couldn't stop myself! So thanks for the inspiration SA.

**Never Alone **

"Oh come on Daniel, play fair. 3 lighters, 2 MREs and this shiny flashlight and that's my final offer."

"Play fair? Tell me exactly why I would want 3 lighters, 2 MREs and a shiny flashlight, Jack."

Daniel's tone was acerbic and Jack winced internally, knowing he was probably going to have to confess if he wanted to make the trade, but trying to squirm out of it anyway. Daniel could be as stubborn as he was. It was so annoying!

"The MREs are your favourites. Cauliflower cheese. I know how much you love chicken," he grinned lopsidedly and Daniel laughed. "I never normally ask you for anything, so come on Daniel. Be a pal."

"If you tell me why you want it I'll consider it. So spit it out."

"Sheesh! Okay, okay but promise you won't tell?"

Daniel stared at his friend for a while, considering, and thought it might be worth the promise to find out what Jack was up to.

"Okay, I promise."

"For Carter," Jack reluctantly revealed, "her birthday is coming up and it would be sooo perfect, don't you think?"

Daniel was stunned to see a shy blush invade Jack's cheeks and, not for the first time, wondered at the regulations that kept his two friends apart. They both wanted it so much, that was glaringly obvious, and still they played by the rules, did their duty and sacrificed something that would make them both happy for the sake of their country. He thought that was admirable, but also a little bit foolish.

"Yes, it would Jack. She'd love it," he replied, "Take it. And I don't want your lighters, MREs or flashlight for it, my friend."

"You don't? Cool! But I have to find some way of paying you for it, Daniel. It's for S-Carter! I can't give her a birthday present I didn't even pay for! You won't take money, and so what will you take?"

"Oh, I don't know… maybe a beer or two next time I call around? And a decent take-out?" Daniel's nose puckered up with his smile.

"You'd get that anyway."

"I know," Daniel shrugged, "Then I'll think of something. Let's just say you owe me one."

"I'm not sure I wanna be in your debt anymore than I already am, Daniel."

"You think you're already in my debt? Really? And I always figured it was all of us who were in yours, Jack."

"Is that meant to be some kind of compliment?"

"Maybe…"

"Then stop, already! You know I'm not so good with those!"

Daniel merely smiled, handing over his gift, and thought about what he might ask for in return.

Jack woke early to the sound of the paperboy. It came to something when the paperboy beat him to the punch in the morning. He looked at his clock and realised he'd overslept.

"Damn!" he exclaimed, hurrying out of bed and hitting the shower.

Today was the day: Carter's birthday. Jack wanted to look special. The four friends that had comprised the original SG-1 were meeting early to drive over to Manitou Springs. They were spending the whole day hitting some of the local sites they'd never got around to visiting together, and then back to Jack's place for a barbeque.

Carter had been thrilled by the suggestion, which had been Jack's idea, but he'd got Daniel to do the asking because he was overwhelmingly reluctant to ask her himself. Daniel ribbed him mercilessly about the fact that he could face down the baddest of bad guys and yet couldn't face Sam. That had given Jack some pause for thought as he considered how ridiculous it was for a grown man of his age, and a two star General in the US Air Force, to boot. For crying out loud!

Jack could seem so cocky but when it came down to it he could be so shy it was almost debilitating. In matters of the heart, specifically when it came to Carter, he could freeze and become like a young teen again. It was kind of humiliating.

Declaring himself vaguely satisfied when he looked in the mirror, he gulped some coffee down just in time for the arrival of Daniel and Teal'c. Hopping into the back of Daniel's car, he settled himself down for the drive over to pick Sam up wondering whether Daniel had organised the seating on purpose so that they had to sit together. Probably. He guessed he should be grateful.

When they arrived at her place it had been happy birthdays and hugs all round and because his other two friends gave her a hug and peck on the cheek, so did he, thinking he could cope with that. He even managed to chat to Carter amiably as they drove to Manitou and hit a café for a big breakfast. During the course of the day, however, he became more withdrawn as his mind dwelled on what Daniel had said, and the present he planned to give Sam.

Daniel kept forcing the two to stick together for most of the day, dragging Teal'c off with him to do things, ensuring the big Jaffa stuck by him as they travelled around the various attractions that Colorado had to offer around those parts. He noticed Jack's growing reticence and wondered what both of his friends were thinking, hitting on a plan for later at Jack's.

When they eventually got to Jack's he fired up the barbeque and became more animated again, playing host.

"What wrong Jack?" Daniel asked while Sam was preoccupied talking to Teal'c.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Aren't!"

"I'm not gonna play those games with you, Daniel. Not tonight. It's Carter's birthday."

"And nearly time to open the presents. Nervous about giving her yours?"

Jack peered at his younger friend, narrowing his eyes. How the heck did Daniel know he had an attack of nerves?

"It's a little too personal, don't you think? Not really something a CO should give to one of his subordinates. Maybe we should have given it to her from the old team. It would have been more appropriate, don't you think?"

"Jack, you aren't directly Sam's CO anymore, or have you forgotten that? Aren't there a couple of layers between you and her now?"

"Yeah, but we're still in the same chain of command."

"Don't tell me you couldn't do something about that, Jack, because I'm pretty sure you can. The regs, I mean."

"Daniel, I don't really feel comfortable talking about this."

"No surprise there, but you have to face up to it sometime. Why not now? Are you gonna let it slip by again? You've been there and done that already old buddy."

"Daniel!"

Teal'c and Sam looked up towards their two friends at the sound of Jack's exclamation, but turned back to their conversation, so Daniel pressed forward despite Jack's obvious discomfort.

"What would you do if Teal'c and I weren't here?" he asked.

"That's not gonna happen."

"I could make it happen. Later. After the present giving and the food."

"Daniel, will you please stop interfering? You've been at it all day, don't think I haven't noticed."

"I'm trying to do you a favor Jack."

"Yeah? Well cut it out."

Daniel sighed loudly wondering if he should back off, but decided that was so not the right thing to do. Instead he considered that Sam would probably like a whole lot more than Jack seemed to want to give her as a birthday present, despite his sudden reluctance to give her even that much. A steely determination gripped him

"She'll love the present, Jack. Just stop pussy footing around and give it to her when the time comes, okay? Stop that shy Jack stuff, already. It's annoying."

"I can't help it. I can only be me."

"Worried how she might react? Scared she'll reject you?"

Jack looked irritated at the suggestion but bit back the anger. Daniel was right on both counts but Jack was never going to admit it. When his friend said nothing, Daniel fell back on the idea he'd had earlier that day.

"You still owe me for her gift, Jack." he said and O'Neill eyed him suspiciously, alert to the elephant trap he might be about to be pushed into.

"Yeah, and? What do you want Daniel?"

"Oh nothing much. Nothing you don't want to do Jack. Just that you ask Sam on a date, and kiss her, before she goes home tonight, is all." He grinned slyly.

"What? You have got to be kidding me!"

"No. Not kidding. You have to make me that promise or I take back the gift and then you have nothing to give her tonight. You know you wanted to give her that particular thing for a reason Jack, you just need to go for it."

"Daniel… please, don't…"

"Someone has to force your hand. Don't tell me you don't want to."

"I-I… What do you think? Of course I do, it's just…"

"As I said, you're scared she'll say no."

Jack scrubbed his hands through his short grey hair, taking a swig of beer before he responded so quietly that Daniel could hardly hear him.

"Yes I am scared, Daniel. Feel better now I've admitted it."

"Actually, yes. She won't say no, Jack. No way."

"Ya think?"

"Yeah, I think. In fact I know it."

"You know this how? Has she ever said anything to you?"

"Even if she had I wouldn't be telling you but, no, she hasn't said anything."

"Then how?"

"I have eyes. And so do you. Watch how she responds to you and then you'll know as much as me. Maybe it'll give you that courage you seek. Now you have to promise me, or you give it back."

Jack said nothing at first. His face had reddened and it was nothing to do with the heat of the barbeque.

"Okay, I promise I'll try Daniel. I can't do more than that, now, can I?"

Out of the corner of his eye Daniel saw Sam and Teal'c approaching and, before they got into earshot, managed to conclude their business.

"Good enough. We've got a deal."

Jack nodded and after that the four friends chatted amiably and relaxed. Jack seemed to come out of his self imposed shell even further and was at his wittiest best, keeping half an eye on Sam to study her reaction to him, just as Daniel had suggested. He figured it was pretty positive and was heartened by that realisation.

Sam basked in the limelight of her three friends, having enjoyed this birthday more than any she could remember recently. She was more than a little nonplussed that she kept catching the General watching her, and felt embarrassed because it meant he caught her looking at him.

Managing to play along with it, rather than against it, as might have been the case, she allowed herself to relax and enjoy his company, flirting with him rather than turning into the shy Samantha Carter geek lady she knew was lurking in the wings ready to take over. Jack seemed to respond encouragingly and that pleased her, a lot.

As they ate, she looked forward to the present opening, which Daniel had insisted should come after the food, keeping her in excited suspense. She wondered what General O'Neill had got for her this year and nervously anticipated his present most of all because, when it came down to it, it meant more to her than a gift from anyone else. She felt a little guilty that this should be the case, but it was and there was no point in denying it. Daniel's idea to delay her self-gratification made it all the more fun and exiting.

Suddenly it was time and Teal'c was the first. He gave her an original New York Times from the day of her birth and she was suitably pleased, hugging him enthusiastically. Then, it was Daniel's turn. He'd wrapped his present in layer upon layer of tissue, which had them all hysterical as Sam got frustrated by each obstacle in her path.

"Daniel, isn't it bad enough that you made me wait until now to open them, and now this?" she said with evident mirth. Daniel merely laughed.

When she finally got to it, the present was one of those huge jigsaw puzzles that was the same picture on both side, but with one side of it at a different angle to the other side.

"These are almost impossible to do Daniel. Do you really expect me to do it? It'll take forever!" she complained, although with a chuckle in her tone.

"That's the point. I'll help, really I will."

Daniel tried to look serious with an added air of child-like innocence, which made her laugh all the harder, until tears of hilarity were rolling down her cheeks. The three men were amused, and Sam's happiness made them all the merrier.

After hugging Daniel in grateful thanks, she turned to look at O'Neill expectantly, noting his reticent shyness. It made him appear boyish and more handsome than ever. She couldn't fail to notice how sexy he'd looked all day, dressed head to toe in black: loose black jeans, tight black t-shirt, and black mirror finish polished boots. Positively ravishing. She buried those thoughts quickly and smiled at him, waiting for him to give her his gift. Whatever it was would be special because it came from him.

"General?" she questioned when he failed to move, looking towards the small parcel he held in his hand to give him a hint.

"You could call me Jack, tonight, you know. It's your birthday Carter."

"You call me Carter and expect me to call you Jack?" she ventured slightly cheekily, failing to add sir or General to her words as she normally did.

"Sam. I can call you Sam?" he responded, watching her so closely that almost every nerve in her body was aware of his gaze.

"Yeah, Sam would be good," she grinned, shivering with excitement, "are you going to keep me waiting all night, J-Jack?"

Neither of them noticed the quiet withdrawal of their two friends into the house at Daniel's signal. He'd been plotting and, although puzzled by this very Tauri way of behaving, Teal'c went along because, truth be told, he wanted nothing more than to see his friend O'Neill happy, and Colonel Carter too. He had long suspected their mating would be best for both of them but was not certain that any interference would be appreciated. Daniel Jackson had persuaded him that this was the right course of action and he sincerely hoped the archaeologist was correct in that.

Although both men were curious, they refrained from peeking out of the window to watch the pair's progress and hope they would see a result later. Teal'c gulped down a soda while Daniel sipped slowly at a beer, conscious that he shouldn't drink too much. If he did he was liable to ruin everything in one way or another because he knew control was something he lacked while drinking. He had to resist the temptation to poke his nose in further than he had already.

"It is time Daniel Jackson," said Teal'c.

"Yes it is."

"Then we must hope for your plan to come to fruition.

"It will, Teal'c, I'd bet almost anything on it," Daniel smirked.

Outside, Jack nervously handed Sam the gift and she saw his hand was trembling as he did so, which surprised her.

"Happy birthday, Sam," he said as she tore at the wrapping, revealing a small box that she opened with almost unseemly haste.

Her eyes widened as she saw what lay inside and Jack felt his face heating up again. He didn't think he'd blushed so much in years as he had over the last few days, particularly today. Today was special and not just because it was Sam's birthday, he hoped.

Daniel had been right to suggest that Jack saw the necklace as an opportunity, which is why he went to so much trouble to persuade Daniel into letting him have it. They had haggled for days, Daniel drawing out his agony for as long as possible, trying to get him to reveal why he was so desperate to get his hands on it, while suspecting he knew why. He wanted Jack to admit it. Only once he had done so had Daniel given in.

"It's beautiful sir… umm… J-Jack!" she exclaimed as she took the necklace out of the box to look closer.

"I wasn't sure it was appropriate, "she looked into his eyes at those words, "f-for me to give that to you. I hope you like it."

"Like it? I love it!"

She studied the necklace and knew instinctively that it was made from pure trinium. Turning the heart shaped disc in her hand, she tried to make out the words that were engraved upon it.

"It's in Ancient, isn't it?" she asked and Jack nodded, his blush deepening. He hoped the dimming light would hide it.

Disappointed that Sam hadn't hugged him like she had the others, because he believed that might be his chance to steal that kiss he promised, Jack watched Sam trying to decipher the markings, knowing she never would unless he told her, or asked Daniel.

He had so hoped to get that kiss in before she found out what it said. His heart was racing wildly with nerves and he cursed the promise he'd made, not sure he had the courage to carry it through.

"What does it say?" Sam asked, still reeling from the shock that Jack had given her something heart shaped as a birthday present. It was so unexpected, and exciting, but she wasn't sure what to read into it yet.

Jack had been watching her all evening and, despite his relaxed attitude earlier that morning, had grown increasingly awkward and withdrawn throughout the day, until tonight. Now she sensed his discomposure again. What did it all mean? Was it what she had yearned for? That would be the birthday present to top all: Jack O'Neill in her arms. Like Jack's her heart raced and her stomach churned in anticipation.

"J-Jack?" she pressed when she pulled herself out of her stupor.

"I-it… aw, hell! Sam…"

He leaned closer, lifting a hand to smooth her hair. She felt it trembling and knew immediately what he intended. Why didn't he just get on with it instead of teasing and staring into her eyes with that lost and confused expression? Why? Did she have to ask? Clearly he was as petrified as she was at this moment.

By way of encouragement she mirrored his action, her fingers twirling the hair close to one of his ears.

'Do it!' she pleaded silently, 'please just do it!'

Finding his courage at last, his lips touched hers and, when she didn't pull away, he closed his eyes, parting her lips with his tongue to explore that moist haven as he had longed to do so many times. When Sam moved closer, clashing her tongue with his, he enfolded her in his arms, more confident now.

They came up for air some minutes later and Sam whispered "more please, more," enclosing her lips around his this time, and grasping him tightly around the back.

Reluctantly they parted, both exhilarated and left wanting more, but suddenly aware that they were not alone; their two friends were there. It wasn't until that moment they realised Daniel and Teal'c had pulled a disappearing act without them noticing, and they looked at each other and laughed.

"This is kind of embarrassing," Sam said.

"Oh! I-is it?" Jack stammered, thinking she referred to the kisses.

"Not… I didn't mean… I meant Daniel and Teal'c. I wonder where they went?"

To emphasise that she didn't regret it as he imagined, she brushed her fingers lightly over his cheek and smiled. Jack felt a flood of relief and pulled her into a close hug, burying his face in her neck. Despite the kisses, and Sam's willing participation, his nerves were still shot to pieces and his trembling vibrated through Sam's body. She returned the embrace, trying to bolster them both.

This was something they had waited too long for; she knew that. It would take some adjusting to their new situation.

"I don't really care where they went, Jack, just hold me tight," she whispered and he did, rocking her soothingly for a few minutes before uncovering his face so he could speak.

"W-will you come out for dinner with me, Sam? Friday night, maybe? A d-date?" He added that last just to make it perfectly clear what he wanted. He didn't want to be misunderstood, it was too important.

"Yes! I'd like to do that, a lot."

He smiled as he realised that she wanted this as much as he did. She was probably scared too.

"And maybe Saturday we can do something too, and Sunday. I'll think of something."

"Yes and yes, Jack!"

"You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that."

She pulled back from him a little to search his face enquiringly.

"You doubted it?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you'd never ask."

"Which begs the question why you didn't, ask that is?"

"Because I've been just as scared as you Jack."

"I wasn't scared!" he blustered.

"Were too!" she did a reasonable impersonation of Daniel, which made Jack laugh and helped dissipate some of the tension.

"Wasn't" he riposted.

"Was!"

"Yeah, okay, I was."

"Not scared anymore?"

"Yeah, terrified."

"Me too."

"At least I'm not alone then."

"No, Jack, never alone."

He laughed at that and she looked at him curiously.

"Jack? What's so funny?"

"That's what it says."

"What?"

"The necklace, in Ancient. Never Alone. It says Never Alone."

"That's nice. I like that."

"I hoped you would."

He smiled and kissed her again, feeling happy and content with this outcome and relaxing into this new relationship a little.

"Thank you, Jack."

"For the present?"

"Yes, that and, well, for making this the best birthday I ever had."

Pulling him back into her arms before he could see the tears forming in her eyes, she massaged his back with her hands.

"The best birthday you ever had? Really? Cool!"

Both of them felt a bit over emotional and Jack loosed himself from her grip, picking up the necklace, placing it around her neck and kissing her.

Never alone? Too right!

The End


	2. Never Alone: First Date

Title: Never Alone: First Date

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Non explicit references to sex and use of mild language.

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: General S9 spoilers

Summary: The weekend after Sam's birthday, Jack and Sam go on their first date.

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone

Status: Complete

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 70 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: A few of you who fed back on Never Alone requested a sequel, so here it is and I took the opportunity afforded by this week's fic challenge from the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo Group to write it. There were, in fact, two challenges: Firstly to write a fic using the words Loin Cloth, Jello, and Leather (eek!); secondly to write a drabble/fic using the line "I Feel As Fuzzy As a Peach!" This fic uses them all but is a bit of a cheat as I had made up my mind that, no matter what the challenge was, somehow I would make it and my sequel story fit together. Once again, this fic has not been beta read so please forgive any errors that I might have missed.

**Never Alone: First Date **

Jack straightened his tie, eyeing himself in the mirror. Was this good enough? Damn, he was looking old and tired. Was it Washington that was doing this to him or had that fact escaped him before now? Was it simply because he was meeting her, going on a date with her?

He realised his hands were shaking again. Boy, was he nervous; like a giddy teenager. First date with Sam. Jeez! He was a grown up, for crying out loud, and he'd been married for 10 years, but he felt a long way from being an adult and even further away from feeling like the old man he saw in the mirror. That was a good thing, right? He tried desperately to reassure himself but the jitters in his stomach were having none of it, determined to keep him off balance.

Surprised by his long-lasting panic, Jack took a few deep breaths in an effort to calm down. It so wasn't working! Crap! Sure he'd kissed her last weekend and it felt so good, wonderful in fact, but a kiss or two does not make a date. What if he dried up and couldn't think of anything to say to her? What if the evening was a total failure?

The sense of panic had lasted all week. His spare time, what little he had of it, had been spent imagining worst-case scenarios for their date. Throwing himself into the work and trying not to think about it had occupied the rest of his time. When he did think about it, however, it was with a mixture of pure joy at the very notion of it, and sheer terror that it would be a disaster

She would have forgotten and be out when he called. He hadn't spoken to her all week; maybe she got a better offer meanwhile. She would hate where he chose to take her. They would be uneasy with each other and the whole evening would be spent waiting to finish it, shifting uncomfortably during the awkward silences, dying to get out of the door of the restaurant and end the agony. She would find him dull and poor company, unable to have an intelligent conversation to match her genius. She would realise how old he had become and wonder what she had ever seen in him.

That kind of thinking haunted his waking nightmares and he shuddered, wondering if he should call and cry off. Don't be such a big baby, O'Neill, he told himself. Pull yourself together man!

His cell chose that moment to ring and his panic increased. What if it was Sam calling to cancel? He picked up the cell with trepidation. Daniel! Oh for crying out…

"Yes, Daniel, what do you want?"

"No need to be so tetchy just because you're nervous about your big date tonight."

"Daniel, I am so gonna kick your ass."

"I was just phoning to wish you good luck Jack."

"Good luck? Well, that's mighty nice of you Daniel." Jack's tone was full on sarcasm but Daniel chose to ignore it. "You think I need it?"

"Not really. How are you?"

"I feel as fuzzy as a peach!"

Jack smirked, imagining the puzzled and frustrated look on Daniel's face as he tried to figure out what he meant by that comment.

"Wha…"

"Look, I'm ready to leave so can I go now?"

"Fuzzy as a peach? What the hell does that mean?"

"You know how I just love to irritate the hell out of you so you'll leave me alone, Daniel."

"In other words it doesn't actually mean anything, and you want me to butt out."

"Hole in one."

"Well there's no need to be so snarky about it."

"Daniel…"

"Okay, okay, I'm going. Knock her dead. You'll have a great time. Call you tomorrow."

"I'll try making myself unavailable for comment."

"Good luck!"

Daniel hung up and Jack stared at the phone in irritation for a while wondering why the call made him feel a little bit better; not much, but a little. He hoped his friend was right both about knocking her dead and having a great time.

Straightening his slumping shoulders, he steeled himself to go and pick her up, carefully withdrawing the O'Neill mask from its usual hiding place and putting it on. That's it, my man, big freakin' smile. Better! When he turned the key in the ignition, he found, however, that his hands were still shaking.

Sam finished putting on her make-up and looked herself up and down critically. You look pretty hot, Samantha Carter, even if you say so yourself. She hoped he would agree. A first date – with Jack! Oh man, she couldn't remember the last time she had felt this nervous. What if he didn't show? He never had called to confirm it, but he hadn't said he would. What if he had to stay on in Washington? Surely he would have called?

It had been so hard to concentrate on her work all week. She fantasised about what a wonderful date they would have, how they would be so perfect together, how he would take her home and seduce her. When she wasn't doing that, she was thinking that the worst might happen and those thoughts made her blood run cold. After all this time of wanting it, what if it turned out all wrong?

He might find her gauche and severely lacking in the fun department. She knew how to have fun, didn't she? In the past he had accused her of not knowing how, and she dreaded that he might be proved right and would believe her boring.

She wondered what Jack was thinking right now. He had seemed so nervous last weekend when he gave her his present, and kissed her. Man, what a kiss, what kisses! Everything she had ever imagined… No one could accuse Jack O'Neill of not being able to kiss. He was good at it, great in fact, but she felt she lacked the experience to match him.

The man was so sensual and sexy, and seemingly unaware of it most of the time. Sam Carter could not stand up to that. How could she? Even her experience with Pete had not prepared her for playing with the grown ups. Pete was hardly out of diapers himself. Jack was such a full-blooded masculine hunk of a man. All man. The prospect was both exhilarating and terrifying. She was nowhere near experienced enough for a man like him.

For the first time she genuinely regretted that lack of experience. It wasn't as if she was a virgin, or had never been out with guys before. She'd been engaged, twice! Both of those were grievous errors, however, and she truly believed that neither of them had prepared her for this. Children playing in the park. Jack was in a totally different park way down the street, if not in another country altogether. He'd been married for 10 years, had had a child, and she was willing to bet he'd had lots of women. He was a very good-looking man so it stood to reason that he could have had the pick of the bunch. He was going to think her such a child.

Caressing the necklace Jack had given her for her birthday, she thought about the words: never alone. She longed so much for that to be true, for Jack to be by her side, always. What if he…? She suppressed the thought, he might turn up at any time now and she tried to force herself to look confident and graceful, practising walking towards the mirror, then away and back again. Was that poised? Aw, crap!

The dress had cost an arm and a leg and she had spent a whole evening at the mall looking for something special. She hoped it was worth it. She thought it looked pretty good on her, and hoped he would too. The small, fragile heart he had given her seemed to go well with the delicate blue hue of the dress, and the color of the dress appeared to enhance the blue of her eyes.

She realised what a pathetic weak woman she was for craving his approval so badly, as if it was all for nothing if he didn't fall at her feet with his tongue hanging out. Wimp, Carter! Liberated woman indeed! Pathetic wimp, just like all the rest of them. How will he find you special if you're just like all the rest of them? Oh, for god's sake woman, pull yourself together and just be you! What if… No, no room for doubts, not now! He has to like me, doesn't he? Please let him like me, let him love me!

The tap at her door startled her. It had to be him. Holy Hannah! Her heart leapt into her mouth, which was suddenly dry. Taking a deep breath and one final look in the mirror to ensure she hadn't missed anything, Sam went to answer it.

'Oh my,' she thought as she opened the door, 'he looks so handsome in that suit, so debonair. Wow! He scrubs up pretty well, always did. Down girl, play it cool.'

"Shucks, Sam, y-you look beautiful!" he exclaimed.

His tongue was hanging out – almost! She was thrilled she was having the desired affect.

"G-general," she stammered, so much for playing it cool, and Jack furrowed his eyebrows, eyeing her reproachfully, "J-Jack." He smiled.

"Better, Sam. You're ready?"

"Yes sir."

"Jeez, do me a favor and drop the sir, please."

"Yes sir… J-Jack. Sorry."

He noticed her nervous smile. Was it possible she was as nervous as he was? 'Try to stay cool, Jack,' he told himself, 'try to act like a normal human being, going out on a first date with a woman he totally adores and has for years. Crap!'

Jack offered her the crook of his arm and Sam threaded her arm through it as he walked her to the car. He sure hoped she didn't notice his trembling.

"Is this a new car?" she asked.

"Well not new, exactly, but new to me, yeah. I got rid of the truck, why did I need it in Washington, but I had to have something to take you on a date in. I hired it for the weekend. I guess maybe I need a new set of wheels."

He certainly hoped he did, wanting badly for this to be the first of many weekends he'd spend time with her. His new car sat in Washington and would probably never get to come here with him. No way would he drive when flying got him here so much quicker, and when he was here on business he didn't even have to do his own driving.

"It's nice and shiny," she commented, feeling stupid as soon as the words left her mouth, but Jack laughed appreciatively.

"She surely is. Pretty isn't she? Just like the lady who is about to get into her."

"I… why, thank you Jack," she said, smiling coyly and he returned the smile, leaning to kiss her lightly on the cheek before opening the door and helping her in like any real gentleman might. Her heart raced with anticipation of the evening to come.

"All set?" he asked as he slid into the driver's seat and started the engine.

"Sure. Where are we going?"

"Surprise!"

They didn't speak as he drove towards their destination, both feeling awkward and unsure of what to say. She was, indeed, surprised when he pulled up outside the swankiest restaurant in Colorado Springs. He was trying to impress her, and she thought that was adorable, but the location made her even more nervous.

"We're going here?" She couldn't keep the tone of her voice level and Jack got the message.

"Y-you don't want to go here? I-I thought…" Oh Lord, it was turning into one of his scenarios.

"I-I'm nervous enough already, Jack," she confessed, "I'm probably incapable of using all the right cutlery."

"You're nervous?"

"A little. A lot!" she laughed, hoping he would find it amusing in a Jack O'Neill kind of way.

"Oh Christ, me too Sam. I've been dreading it all week!" He saw the horrified expression on her face and added, "No, that didn't come out right. I really want us to do this. I want… I'm so damned scared I screw it all up."

"You too, huh?

Jack uttered a small, relieved chuckle, leaning out of the car to the parking valet who was waiting so patiently for them to decide to get out.

"Ummm, tell the maitre de that General O'Neill can't make it for his reservation, please?" he thrust money into the man's hands, turning to Sam, "let's go somewhere a little less formal, huh?"

"I'd like that."

"Rossi's Italian it is then?" He started the engine and drove off again.

"Oh yes! Aren't we a little overdressed for Rossi's?" It was one of Sam's favourite Italian restaurants but was an informal kind of place.

"Probably, but screw it! Let 'em stare. Anyone who doesn't stare at you wearing that dress would have to need glasses. You look great, Sam. Thanks."

"Thanks?"

"For dressing up for me, for making me feel special. It's a beautiful dress."

"I'm glad you think so Jack. Tonight is special isn't it? It's our first date."

No way was she going to confess that she had bought the dress especially, or taken hours picking it out. She chose to take the compliment for what it was and simply accept it without embarrassment. Jack gave one of her hands a quick squeeze, and Sam felt herself blush. The man did things to her that no one else ever had, and with such a simple gesture. She started to relax, just a notch, and feel a whole lot better about how their evening might go.

When they got to Rossi's Jack steered her gently through the door, his hand placed in the curve of her back, and a lot of eyes turned to look. Just as quickly they turned back again to what they were doing, digging back into their food and conversation. As the pair hadn't made a reservation they had to wait a while for a free table and sat at the bar with a drink. Dutch courage might help to relax them all the more, they both hoped.

They hadn't stopped chattering, albeit inanely, since Sam had admitted she was nervous. She was so pleased she'd made that confession, however embarrassing it was, and that Jack had acknowledged his similar feelings. It broke the ice and opened the way for their date to really fly instead of sinking like a lead balloon.

Sam was laughing at all his wisecracks and Jack was very pleased about that, still hoping they would not run dry. She seemed to be enjoying herself, and so was he, as much as he could in the circumstances. Having been unable to shake his fear, he tried to make it work for him, running on the energy provided by adrenalin.

He'd just finished telling a joke involving wrestling, leather loin clothes and a ring of blue jello, which was totally unappreciated by the otherwise jovial barman, but which Sam thought hilarious, when the waiter came to tell them their table was ready. Steering her to it and getting her seated, they studied their menus, silent for the first time since they'd arrived, except for a few giggles from Sam as she kept remembering his exceedingly silly and very risqué joke.

"Would you like wine, Sam?" he asked.

"Will you drink some?"

"Sure." He was willing to forgo the usual beer and go for something a little more sophisticated. She nodded acquiescence.

"Decided on food?"

"The chef's special steak Rossi sounds good, don't you think?"

"Never tried it before?"

"No, actually, I haven't ever got around to it."

"Me neither. I'll try it too. Something to start?"

"I don't know. I'm pretty hungry." She'd been so uptight all day about their date that she had hardly eaten a thing.

"Want to share some garlic and tomato bread?"

"Ummm… yes please. I love that stuff."

"Yeah, they do the best garlic bread in town," he agreed, pleased that they would both end up with garlicky breath. If she hadn't wanted it he would never have chosen it. He couldn't have stinky breath on their first date, but it was fine if they both did.

They ordered, waiting for it to arrive in discomforting silence, both feeling gawky and foolish again.

"Been busy this week, Jack?" she asked, cursing herself for not thinking of something more engaging to ask. She wanted to get their conversation kick-started again and work might not have been the best way of doing it. Too late!

"Trying. Had some problems taking my mind off a certain blonde I know, though, and our first date."

"You did?"

"Yep. I kept thinking how this evening might turn into a disaster. I so don't want for that to happen, Sam."

"I kept thinking that too."

"You did?"

"Yep." she grinned and her face lit up. He had deftly managed to steer the conversation away from work and, by telling her something of how he had been feeling, had made her feel more relaxed at the same time.

Jack took her hand in his, pulling it gently towards his mouth and allowing his lips to lightly brush over it. He continued to hold it, looking into Sam's eyes and determined to play the adult, despite his distinct feeling of immaturity.

"Is this really happening, Sam?" he said, "after all these years? I can't quite believe it. Someone's going to pinch me and I'll wake up."

Sam wondered at his self-deprecating honesty. It seemed so unlike Jack to be this up front about anything related to feelings that she was more than pleasantly surprised.

"I hope not because it might wake me up too. I've waited for long enough already for one of us to have the nerve to crack and make the move. I'm so glad you cracked, Jack. You've been in Washington a while and when you didn't… I began to believe it would never happen."

"Sam, I wanted to sweep you off your feet as soon as I heard you cancelled the wedding and dumped Pete. That was so the wrong time. Your father had just died, and the split with Pete… you needed time to get over all of that. And then it all seemed too late. I was in Washington and miles away from you and everything else I hold dear to my heart. If Daniel hadn't pushed me maybe it wouldn't have happened."

"We have to be grateful to Daniel?"

"Yeah, God bless him and all who sail in him." Sam tittered at his joke, reaching her fingers over to his face, softly stroking his cheek.

"Then thank you very much Daniel Jackson. We ought to toast him in his absence."

"We will, when the wine arrives. Now, as this attack of honesty and openness is beginning to get to me, do you think we can get back to the trivial sort of conversation that one is supposed to have on a first date?"

Sam grinned. What was it about this man that was so appealing to her? She had asked herself this question so many times and still didn't really know the answer. Jack was just Jack. He could be infuriating, charming, dumb and quick-witted, as well as many other seemingly contradictory things, sometimes all at once in the space of one sentence. A fascinating enigma, an open book, a locked safe; human.

"Talk of the devil, the wine," Jack interrupted her thought and the waiter poured the wine, mumbling something about the garlic bread arriving shortly as he left them alone again.

"To Doctor Daniel Jackson," Jack raised his glass and they clinked their two glasses together.

"And to us, Jack."

"Oh, I definitely second that."

They took a sip of the wine and their garlic and tomato bread appeared. Both being hungry they tucked in without further ado.

"Do you hold me dear to your heart, Jack?" she asked disarmingly as he chomped on his pizza bread, referring to his earlier comment.

"You know I do, don't you Sam? Very dear to my heart."

"That's so thrilling."

"It is? Good." He grinned mischievously and she wondered what was going on in his head.

"What are you thinking?"

"You wanna know what I'm thinking? You must be desperate for a topic of conversation. You know very well how little thinking goes on inside this empty head. You better than almost anyone." Sam giggled in response.

"Bullshit, General O'Neill, Generals don't get to be Generals unless they have one heck of a brain."

"Could have fooled me."

"But this particular Colonel knows a secret that Jack O'Neill has tried to keep hidden for years."

"Yeah? Pray tell."

"That there's an extremely good, alert and intelligent brain inside that head of his."

"You must be hallucinating."

"Nonsense, Jack, you don't fool me."

"Aw, crap!"

"You want to fool me?"

"Maybe not, not anymore, although I think you exaggerate my mental prowess."

"Nonsense!" She didn't push it, knowing that he was hopeless at accepting compliments. He just didn't know how to deal with them. "So what were you thinking?"

"Sheesh! When?"

"You got such a look on your face…"

"I did? Don't remember."

"Okay, I surrender. I won't ask."

"Mmmm… and I won't tell. I'm waaay too much of a gentleman and you are looking waaay too sexy."

"So you were thinking about tits and ass."

"As Lenny Bruce might say?"

"Lenny Bruce?"

"You know, controversial comedian who died in his own vomit."

"Nice Jack, not a dinner topic, methinks. And I know who Lenny Bruce was. So you were thinking about tits and ass?"

"No, actually, I wasn't, although I could slip up at any time. That dress sure is sexy; fits in all the right places," he joked, waggling his eyebrows, and Sam smiled; the dress had been so worth it, "I was thinking how envious all the guys in this place must be that an old guy like me is sitting here with the most beautiful woman in the room."

"Not that old Jack!"

"Old enough to be your father."

"Only if you were extremely precocious. Were you extremely precocious?"

"Ummm, yes I was actually, but that's not a story for tonight. I do not, however, recall having an affair with any US wives until I met my own. So I'm not, I'm just old enough to be."

"Jack…"

"I'm just sayin'… Jeez, woman, I was trying to give you a compliment and you hit me with the third degree."

"Hardly the third degree, Jack, and thank you for the compliment. I just want to make it clear that I don't think you're old, and you certainly aren't too old for me."

"And I just want to make it clear that I'm still sitting here with the most beautiful woman in the restaurant."

"Well, you're pretty handsome yourself. So if you're fishing for a compliment …"

"Which I am not. I don't do those very well."

"I know it. Nevertheless, you are one very handsome man, whether you like it or not."

"I'm glad you think so Sam because if you do then I don't really care about what anyone else thinks."

"They probably think exactly the same thing."

"Ya think?"

This time it was Jack who reached to gently stroke Sam's cheek and he felt her quiver at his touch, sucking in his breath in surprise at her obvious reaction to him.

"Yes, I do think." She placed her hand over his, turning her lips to kiss his palm, stomach churning excitedly when he gasped, "And also very sexy," she added.

"Sexy, huh? Sweet!"

Their steaks arrived and they tucked in without speaking further but, this time, the silence felt comfortable rather than awkward. Instead of words, they kept exchanging eye contact and smiling shyly; he might sometimes reach his hand to brush her arm or she might stroke his hand as he raised his glass to his lips. Neither of them even noticed nor felt the lack of words.

"Dessert?" he asked when they finished.

"Want to share a tiramisu? I'm not sure I can eat a whole one."

"Yeah, I'll share."

When the tiramisu came the waiter placed it in front of Sam and she pushed it to the middle of the table. Jack took a forkful, reaching over to her.

"Try it?"

He smiled crookedly and she opened her mouth to allow him to feed her the sweet morsel, delighted by that gesture.

"It's delicious! Your turn."

Taking the fork from his hand she did for him what he had just done for her and considered it pretty romantic. Jack was hoping she'd find it romantic. He was never too sure about romancing. Given how pragmatic he had to be on a daily basis he hoped he could find it in him because she deserved that.

Scientist and soldier she might be, but she was also all woman. He believed she craved romance and very much wanted to fulfil that need. He hoped he was up to the task. She should be happy. Could he make her happy? She seemed happy right at this very moment, and for now that would have to be good enough. His one wish was that he could keep her that way. Then maybe he could make her truly his, have a life with her, and maybe even have a family. He kicked himself back to reality at that notion.

'Too dangerous, O'Neill,' he thought, 'and way too soon to go there, even in your own head. This is only your first date. Get a grip!'

He'd settle for her saying yes to another date; the rest of their lives could wait a while. If the weeks and months rolled on… the longer he could be with her, and make her happy, the better the odds of that outcome. Time was not on their side. Neither of them was getting younger. He tried not to let that thought depress him and spoil his wonderful night with her.

They polished off the dessert and followed it with coffee. Jack was thinking it was way too early to be taking Sam home, reluctant to bring their date to an inevitable close, and trying to think what to do next. At La Terrazza, the restaurant he had originally reserved, there was a dance floor, and he had been planning on taking Sam for many spins around it. Now they had come here instead he was at a loss. This was not the sort of restaurant you could spend the whole night in.

"So, what now?" he asked with a deliberate air of jauntiness as he helped Sam on with her coat. "You want me to take you home?" As he asked he was mentally pleading for her to say no.

"It's way too early, Jack. I want to spend some more time with you. I don't want our first date to end yet. You must have had something in mind when we came out."

"I did. Tripping the light fantastic after dinner at La Terrazza."

"Oh! I kind of ruined that plan then, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess you did."

"I was always good at sucking the fun out of things."

By now they had exited the restaurant and Jack spun her to face him, gently grasping the tops of her arms.

"Sucking the fun out of things? Not tonight Sam. No way. It's our first date and I really hope it's going to be the first of many. I will never forget a single moment of it. It's been a wonderful night and I've had a lot of fun, and a great meal with great company who happened to also be the most beautiful woman in the restaurant."

"So you keep saying. Flattery will get you almost anywhere, Jack."

"Really? I'll bear that in mind. So?"

"Dancing would have been fun. Maybe there's somewhere... any ideas where? Both of us are getting too old for disco."

"Yeah, so old that I'm pretty sure it's not called that anymore. I have to admit I'm not really up on the nightlife around here, or not that sort of nightlife anyway. I've always been more of a low life kind of a guy. I guess I should have done a bit of research."

"Jack O'Neill, do research? Sounds a likely story."

"Are you making fun of me?" he chuckled.

"Not a chance."

"Better not be."

"As if…"

A sudden frisson of desire made him pull her closer, his lips devouring hers, tongue clashing with hers, and hands running through her perfectly coiffed hair, mussing away its perfection. Pulling apart they stared at each other silently for a few moments with an urgent need for each other coursing through their bodies. Jack deliberately broke through the tension.

"It's getting chilly. Let's go get in the car."

"Jack…"

"Car. C'mon."

They got in and Jack took her hand. It felt cold so he turned to take both of them in his and rubbed them to warm her up.

"W-we could always go back to my place, or your place. Whatever," she ventured nervously.

"Way too tempting."

"You don't want to be tempted?"

"I'm trying my damnedest."

"We're both adults, Jack. Old enough and ugly enough."

"It's our first date."

"Does it matter?"

"I want to do things right. I want to be the perfect gentleman and drop you back at your place, kiss you goodnight at the door, and arrange our next date."

Sam considered that response. She wanted him, wanted him badly, had lusted after him for too many years to mention, but she loved that he wanted to play by the rules. The perfect gentleman. Adorable! He had such an indescribable charm about him and she was close to telling him how she felt, how much she loved him, wanted him, needed him, but that was so not something one should do on a first date either. She could wait. Now that she understood how much he wanted her, her patience could be almost infinite. Almost.

"For tomorrow?"

"That what we said last weekend. Can't back out now. I've got plans."

"Really? What kind of plans?"

"That would be telling, but they should keep us occupied pretty much all day."

"All day?" she grinned, "Great, that's great!"

"Really. You want to spend all day with me?"

"All day and all night Jack. Every moment possible."

"Wow, that's a little forward isn't it?"

He felt flattered but also surprised that Sam made this suggestion. She had never struck him as the forward type.

"You think so? I'm sorry if that shocks you."

"Shocks me, no, surprises me, yes. I always took you to be the slow burning type," he responded and she laughed.

"I've been simmering on the back burner for a lot of years, Jack." He arched his eyebrows with astonishment, "On Sunday night you'll fly back to Washington. I want to make the most of what time we have. Otherwise, maybe I wouldn't be quite so… forward." She was blushing with embarrassment, surprising herself with her forwardness.

"Sam, we've got all the time in the world. I don't want us to rush anything."

"Shouldn't that be my line?"

"You already stole all of mine."

She chuckled, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

"You are quite a guy, you know that?" Jack's blush matched hers and even in the poorly lit car she could see it and smiled sweetly, "You still want to play the gentleman?"

"Yeahsureyabetchya. For tonight. Our first date. Do you mind?"

"No, I like it. It's romantic."

"Okay, good. I'm glad you think so."

He'd always prided himself on being able to think of something to meet the untoward, although a date with Sam didn't really qualify, and suddenly hit upon a plan.

"So how about I hail a cab?" he suggested and, seeing her puzzled expression, added, "A cab driver will know a hot spot we can go dance in."

"You do have a way of coming up with the unexpected Jack."

"Yeah, right off the wall, huh?"

Giving her a quick kiss, he got out of the car to hail a cab. She watched him talk to the driver and then pass him some money. He drove off and Jack came running back and hopped back in.

"Got it."

'Perfect!' he thought, so looking forward to the notion of dancing with Sam.

The cabby's suggestion did indeed turn out to be perfect. Old fashioned, real dancing. Most of the other patrons were old enough to be Jack's parents, but he didn't care about that, simply taking Sam into his arms, and dancing. It reminded Sam of her date with Pete where they crashed someone else's party, but she said nothing about that. This was so totally different. This was with Jack. The first time they had ever danced together, and she revelled in it.

They danced, and danced some more, and continued dancing; up close and personal, check to cheek, their whispers and breath in each other's ears. They were slow and rhythmic and totally wrapped up in each other, hardly noticing as the place emptied out. Eventually they got the hint and retreated back to the car so he could drive her home.

Almost in a dream he walked her to the door of her house.

"I had a great time Sam. Perfect," he whispered.

"Me too Jack."

His mouth sought hers and he pulled her close, relishing her warmth and the feel of her body against his. So tempted, but he was determined. Tonight had to be right.

"Are you sure you don't want to come in?" she asked.

"Want to, would love to, but won't." A shy smile on his face, his lips brushed her cheek softly, "Goodnight, Sam. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight Jack. Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, tomorrow."

"Then I will have sweet dreams," she said, her parting shot.

Jack grinned, turning to acknowledge of her words.

"Yeah, me too, Sam, me too."


	3. Never Alone: Birth of a Weekend

Title: Never Alone: Birth of a Weekend

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address

Category: Romance

Content Level: 13+

Content Warnings: Non explicit references to sex and masturbation, and use of mild language

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: General for S9

Summary: After their first date, they have the whole weekend to look forward to.

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone: First Date

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 69 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: Once again, some of you who read "Never Alone: First Date" asked for more and this is it. This seems to be turning into yet another series – sheesh! Also, I have yet again chosen to make use of this week's fic challenge from the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo Group to write it. This time the challenge was to write a drabble or fic incorporating the sentence "If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off" and/or the word 'stringent'. This fic contains both. This story has not been beta read so please forgive any errors that I might have missed.

**Never Alone: Birth of a Weekend **

When Jack pulled up outside of Sam's place next morning he was nervous. Dammit, this was nuts! He'd been fine after the initial apprehension surrounding their date but now those butterflies, or perhaps they were actually elephants, were playing havoc again. The previous night, Sam had suggested spending the night together and his whole body yearned for her.

Surprised that she had been so forward, he pondered that. Jack had imagined Sam would be the awkward, shy one, maybe even reluctant to take that step, which committed them to so much more than merely being close friends and colleagues. Kissing was one thing - one could laugh that off if necessary - but lovemaking? It was something entirely different and would change everything forever. Were they ready for that? His lack of certainly about that was one reason for his anxiety.

In Jack's mind, making love to Sam was taking a step that would bind them together inextricably. With any other woman this would not be the case, he wasn't beyond a quick casual romp for some self-gratification; he was a red-blooded male, so go figure! But with Sam? His feelings for her were muddled, mixed in with those he felt as her ex-CO, and as a friend, but there was so much more… so much emotion; love.

Was it love? He believed it was, knew it was at heart, nevertheless the pragmatic side of O'Neill realised they both probably needed some time before making the sort of commitment love required. Their relationship was evolving into something they had both wanted for a long time but also entirely different to what it once had been. It was huge, massive, gigantic, colossal… and terrifying.

Of course he very much wanted to make love to her, to explore her body, see her naked; it was a yearning that he had controlled, but now was finding he couldn't. The tantalising prospect of fulfilling that fantasy had made his night's sleep fitful. He did have the sweet dreams he'd imagined, and they had been sensual and erotic ones that woke him more than once through the night. He'd had to pleasure himself more than once as well; otherwise he would never have slept at all. He couldn't remember the last time he had done that so many times during the course of so few hours.

Jack could feel himself losing control and didn't much like it. He was used to being in control and, when it came to Sam, had needed to exercise that control many times over the last few years; the very model of self-restraint. Now all of those emotions, and the physical feelings that went with them, were swelling inside, trying to spill out, cut loose and take over. That was difficult to deal with; having kept them boxed up tight for so long he was unused to such tumultuous and mixed feelings.

He had dealt with terror and horror a lot in his job, but this was not that kind of terror or horror. He had met with the unknown, the unpredictable, the unforeseen, the feelings of inadequacy, and the fear of failure many times, and faced those demons head on, but now he was confronting all of those things again in entirely different circumstances. He wasn't sure how to deal with them in this situation. This was not a matter of tactics and strategies to battle and defeat an enemy; this was an affair of the heart.

However much pain and anguish he had encountered in his work over the years, he was not prepared for the kind of pain and anguish failure would bring if he made a mistake in this situation. Failure was something he could not countenance but he feared it. Once again he grasped at his fear, trying to lick it into shape, get his mask on again. Fear!

In part, it was the fantasy angle that was getting to him, and the notion that Sam probably had certain expectations. Could he live up to her dreams and expectations? And what about his own? This was real life and whatever happened between them over this weekend could determine how he lived the rest of it. Did she expect a great lover? What if he wasn't? Doubts about his abilities to both woo and bed her in the way she probably wanted, fantasised and expected were knocking huge holes in his self-confidence.

'I'm not a performing seal, for crying out loud!' he shouted inside his head. 'I'm just a man. Ordinary, normal with all the associated hang-up and quirks. Just a man.'

He desperately struggled to bring these thoughts under control, putting on the façade of cocky and arrogant self-assurance that most people usually saw in Jack O'Neill.

'That's better, Jack,' he said to himself, 'way better.'

Getting out of the car, he swaggered up to her door to knock, looking the part of the confident man about to take his love out for the day but, inside, the doubts were still raging.

Sam had slept well. Her final thoughts before she fell into the world of dreams were of pleasure and joy at the prospect of seeing Jack the next day, and hopefully for the whole weekend. They had waited a long time for this, and now it was finally happening.

When she woke the next day she was filled with excitement, but also hit with an attack of nerves. The same doubts and fears she had felt about their first date rose to the surface again. This was Jack; she was seeing Jack. It was pretty daunting. Fantasy made real. Being a mere woman of flesh and blood, she could never live up to that. This was real life and what happened now might make or break the rest of hers.

She pondered how forward she must have appeared having suggested he spend the night with her. What had she been thinking? What sort of woman would he think she was? She was not that woman, never had been and probably never would be. However much she wanted Jack to make love to her, feel his flesh next to hers and give and take pleasure from their lovemaking, she felt inadequate to the task. She was just Sam Carter and he was Jack O'Neill.

She recalled her words in answer to Jack's suggestion that they spend the day together: "All day and all night Jack. Every moment possible." Her cheeks flushed and reddened with embarrassment that she could say such a thing; it was so unlike her. Now he would believe that it was very much like her and it scared her to think she might have given him that impression. It was a show of confidence that she was far from feeling.

Doubts assailed her: doubts about her ability to make him happy and to satisfy him physically in the way she perceived he might want and expect from a woman. What if she couldn't meet his expectations and needs? It didn't occur to her that he might not meet hers, and it wasn't until later that it struck her that he might doubt he could.

As she got ready for his arrival she considered how much of a change in their relationship this weekend represented: colleagues and friends to dating and lovers. It was one heck of a leap forward. She sincerely hoped it was a leap forward and not something that would end in disaster and foreshadow the end to everything. If they failed it would be the end; she knew that with certainly and the notion was disturbing. Jack had been a huge part of her life for so many years and the very idea of him not being there was an anathema to her.

The feeling of foreboding clung to her as she got showered, put on her make up and carefully chose her clothing. Stringent in every detail of her outward appearance, as if preparing for a mission or an experiment in the lab - everything in place, everything perfect, everything prepared - she wondered whether she could bring these feelings under control before he arrived, considering whether to reveal her doubts and fears or try to cover them with a veneer of self-confidence.

Deciding on the latter course, she practised a confident smile in the mirror for a while before going to make fresh coffee in an effort to bolster her resolve. Lost in thought, she sipped the dark caffeine filled liquid, and the knock on her door brought her back to reality.

'Oh God, that's him! You can do this Sam,' she spoke to herself, "Oh yes you can! You are liberated and confident women, with a great career that sometimes requires sheer guts and nerve. Where is that guts and nerve now? Crap!'

Plastering her practised smile on her face she went to answer the knock.

"Hi!" she exclaimed brightly. Too brightly?

"Morning," Jack said with an equally bright and breezy smile.

"I just made coffee. Got time for some before you drag me off into the unknown?"

"I'd love some. Thanks."

She opened the door wider to let him into her sanctuary and, as he moved past her, he took her head in his hands, giving her a kiss filled with promise for their day ahead.

"My, my, you're looking great Sam."

"I am? Is this okay for what you have in mind for us today?"

"Perfect."

As he let her go and made his way towards her kitchen she looked at his retreating back. He cut a handsome and sexy figure in his loose fitting black jeans and tight black t-shirt. The t-shirt showed off his muscles to perfection. Jack wasn't an overtly muscular man, not like Teal'c the Jaffa body builder, but he was clearly all man underneath the confines of the t-shirt. Watching him sent her heart racing even more than it had been already.

'Nice butt, great arms,' she was thinking as he sauntered along her hallway.

For his part, on his way in Jack had noticed every detail, as he had looked Sam over. She wore tight blue jeans and it made him recall what a great and very long pair of legs she had. Her simple blue top hugged her contours in all the right places. She had a great pair of breasts, a fantastic figure. His pulse raced with desire, but he promptly suppressed it.

'Wow, she is hot!' he was thinking as he stumbled towards her kitchen trying desperately to look casual, 'don't get ahead of yourself O'Neill.'

"Have you had breakfast Jack?" she asked, following in his wake.

"No. Wasn't hungry," he responded, recalling that his roiling stomach had not allowed him to grapple with such a concept as food.

"Me neither. Would you like something?"

"We could eat out. My treat. Waffles and syrup, bacon; whatever your stomach desires, Sam."

"Sounds good. You got a deal." She grinned, somewhat inanely she thought, and poured the coffee, sitting down at the table, adjacent to Jack. "So, what you got planned for today, Jack?"

"I sure hope you aren't expecting anything spectacular, Sam. I just thought we could drive out of town towards somewhere scenic. If we're having breakfast we could find somewhere along the way, then pick up some supplies and head out into the hills, maybe for a walk, maybe a picnic? Nothing special. What do you think?"

He regarded her nervously, hoping she wasn't disappointed by such a pedestrian idea for their day, his jitters calming a little when she smiled, looking so genuinely pleased that he could almost believe it was exactly what she could have wished for or expected from him.

"A walk? Without MREs and backpacks filled with equipment, and loaded to the teeth with weapons? A normal, ordinary stroll? Yeah, I'd like that." She spotted his look of relief, despite his desire to act confidently, as if he knew what he was doing. "Didn't you think I would?"

"It crossed my mind. I don't really know what you like doing Sam. I guess, although we've known each other for years, there's a hell of a lot we still don't know about each other."

She narrowed her eyes, looking at him in silent contemplation while she formulated her response.

"Does that make you nervous?" she plucked up courage to ask.

"Um, kinda."

"But it's exciting too, isn't it?"

"Sure is!" he agreed, starting to feel a little more relaxed and reaching over to take her hand in his. He squeezed gently and she grinned shyly, squeezing back.

"I hadn't been going to admit it but I felt just as nervous before you came this morning as I did last night," she confessed.

"Yeah? Me too, Sam," he retorted, continuing to grip her hand while his other one stroked her cheek softly. For a few seconds they maintained eye contact until Jack lowered his gaze, biting his bottom lip. Sam placed a hand over his on her face, her thumb rubbing his skin.

"I guess we both need to learn to relax with each other, huh? Be ourselves."

"Too used to Sir and Colonel?"

"It's one hell of an adjustment."

"I know. I wish I could turn to the last page and read the ending; be prepared."

"Half the fun is not knowing the ending isn't it?"

"While the other half is worrying what it might be?"

"Put that way it sounds kind of daunting."

"Ya think?"

It was during this exchange Sam realised once again that she wasn't alone in her fear. It was comforting but she hoped they could both get over it.

"I thought you'd be the confident one, Jack. I never expected this."

"Sorry I don't meet your expectations."

"Don't misunderstand me, I like it."

"Oh?"

"It tells me a lot about you."

"Does it?"

"Speaks volumes."

"I'm not sure I like that so much. I wish I knew what it was saying."

"It's all good."

"In that case I guess I'm a happy camper."

"I'm glad. It feels good to just be able to touch you like this Jack. Really good."

"It does, doesn't it? Long time waiting."

"Yes, too long."

"Too long, but I hope not too late, Sam."

"I don't think so. Do you?"

"No." The thought 'never too late for you' flittered through his slightly addled brain.

"Well then, it isn't."

They contemplated each other in silence for a while until Sam gave his hand a final squeeze before withdrawing from his grasp and picking up her coffee again. Jack followed her lead.

"Jack, last night I-I was a bit, a little… I think I might have come on a bit strong."

"Hinting we spent the night together on our first date you mean?"

"Yes. Th-that's not really like me. I mean I'm not normally that forward. I don't want you to think…"

"S'okay Sam. I know. I might not know nearly enough about you, but I do know that. You could say it surprised me."

"Shocked you more like. I don't want you to think I'm that kind of woman."

"One that leaps into bed with the nearest man you mean?" he joked. "If I thought that I would never have been such a gentleman last night." He winked, a playful smile on his lips, and Sam visibly relaxed.

After that they did a lot of touching. It was reassuring. He would grasp her arm, or touch her hand, pointing to something he'd noticed so that she might share his enjoyment and she would do something similar.

Their morning passed by in what seemed a blink of an eye. They had found a nice little place in which they could tuck into a huge breakfast of waffles, syrup and crispy bacon, just as he had suggested. Afterwards, they encountered a small local bakery and deli at which they bought some food and drink for their picnic, although both of them wondered if they would be able to eat such a thing as lunch after stuffing themselves at breakfast. Then they set out on a short drive out to a lovely spot in the hills and on a long walk through the trees and undergrowth, treading through pathways that had clearly been trodden before many times.

The weather was warm and pleasantly sunny, but not so hot that their day would become unbearable. And they took it slowly, so not like the pace they were used to walking at on their missions, frequently stopping to take in their surroundings, the view, or the local fauna and flora. Occasionally Jack would put his arm around her and kiss her hair or cheek. Sam yearned for the type of kiss that had been promised by Jack's earlier one, but such a delight was not forthcoming, yet.

Having walked a fair distance, they reached a small brook that was babbling through the hills and Jack suggested they stop. The location had a great view of their surroundings, and water was always agreeable company.

"We don't have to eat yet if you're not hungry," Jack said as they sat, leaning against a conveniently broad based tree that was surrounded by the perfect bed on which to rest their weary butts.

Having slept badly the night before, Jack was feeling way more tired than he ought to. Sitting behind a desk for such a long time had done him no favours, he thought. He still worked out and jogged regularly, trying to maintain his fitness levels, but believed there was nothing to beat action out in the field for that. He felt a little out of shape.

"Um, we'll see. It's later than I thought," she replied, surprised as she looked at her watch.

"What is it they say about time flying when you're enjoying yourself?" Jack said half jokingly. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Very much."

"That's good."

Placing an arm around her shoulder, Jack encouraged Sam to rest her head on his. Absently, his thumb stroked her arm and she relaxed against him, feeling content. They sat in companionable silence before Sam broke it by sighing heavily.

"This is nice," she declared.

"Yes it is," Jack agreed, shifting so that he could kiss her.

This was a kiss filled with the earlier promise: passionate yet gentle. Afterwards, without any words exchanged, they both lay next to each other. Jack propped himself on one arm, looking at his beautiful date for a short time before kissing her again. Both of them started to feel the lust surging to take over, and were slightly breathless and dizzy.

Resisting the impulse to seduce her where they lay, instead Jack pulled back and rested his head on her chest, just above her breasts. His hand softly caressed the skin of her stomach under her top but it wasn't intended as a sexual overture, more of an affectionate gesture.

There was no way Jack wanted this to be the location to be their first sexual encounter. Like their first date, he wanted to do that properly: a bed, clean sheets, a slow and sensual strip tease, a gradual coming together in a wonderful union befitting the beautiful and intelligent woman he lay alongside. Or he hoped it would go that way.

On a different day, when their relationship had progressed, he would consider making love to her in that place, something he could get into with ease, but not now. Wanting their first time to be special, memorable, he wasn't sure why he thought this was the wrong time and place for that, it just was.

"One day I'd like us to come back here so I can make love to you under this tree, Sam," he said, deciding to voice some of his thoughts.

"But not today?"

"No, not today."

He moved so he could kiss her again, this time resting his head alongside hers so he could see her face. Such a beautiful face, he believed, so too wasteful not to take time to look at it.

They chatted amiably about this and that for a while and then Sam declared herself hungry, so they decided a picnic was in order after all. By now it was late afternoon, way past lunchtime. Both hungered for something else altogether, but settled for eating, committing the sin of gluttony rather than that of lust.

"Tell me something, Jack, what do you think about the movie "Singin' in the Rain?" I'm curious." Sam asked as they munched on their carefully chosen feast of bread, spicy sausage, cheese and salads.

She was wondering about their overall compatibility, remembering Pete's reaction to that movie and their subsequent discussion in the early days of their relationship. She should have known right then and there that it wouldn't work. Some things are just too fundamental.

Could she base her future on Jack's thoughts on that movie? That was plainly ridiculous, but somehow it was important for her to know. It would tell her something about the inner Jack that he might not easily reveal in any other way.

"What?"

"You know, Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds…"

"Donald O'Connor and the wonderful Jean Hagen."

"No, no, no," Sam mimicked from that scene in the movie.

"Yes, yes, yes," Jack riposted, continuing the scene's dialogue, "one of the best movie scenes ever. A classic."

"Really?"

"What, you figure a guy wouldn't like that movie? I love that movie. One of the best. A movie with everything."

"Except blood, guts and adventure."

"Movies are for fantasy, aren't they? Blood, guts and adventure is a little too much like our real lives don't you think? Not that I can't get into watching that kind of movie, but "Singin' in the Rain" is a whole other ball game. That surprises you?"

"Yeah, kind of, but I'm glad you think so."

"Cool!" He stopped, smiling crookedly and grasping her shoulders and pulling her lips to his for a quick kiss. "Right now I can pretty much relate to the way Don Lockwood was feeling in that movie. You get to play the Kathy Seldon role."

"Oh! That's nice. I like that."

She caressed his face affectionately, putting her arms around him and encouraging a hug. He swayed with her in his arms for a moment, drinking in that moment and the feelings it provoked.

"So you're not disappointed I'm a "Singin' in the Rain" kind of guy?"

"Far from it. I'm delighted. I guess I should have figured you might like that kind of stuff from all those "Wizard of Oz" references you're always making."

"Yeah, I'm a sap. Who'd have thunk, huh, Dorothy?"

She grinned, giggling, and sat back in her previous position to take a sip of diet coke.

"I never really saw myself as the Dorothy type."

"No blue gingham or red shoes?"

"I do actually have a pair of red shoes."

"You do? Are they the high sexy kind?"

"Yes."

"Those I must see!" he waggled his eyebrows, making Sam titter again, "but I must admit, I don't figure you for a blue gingham girl."

"Not a patch of it in the house."

"That's kind of a relief. The sexy red shoes? Now that's something else entirely."

They exchanged a look of pure longing before becoming unable to meet each other's eyes.

"M-maybe I could dress up and put them on for you sometime," she proposed shyly, a slight flush in her cheeks.

"Mmmm…that could be kind of fun."

Reaching for her hand and lifting it to his lips, which he brushed across the back of it sensually, Jack looked at her again, moving the hand to place it under her chin and raise her face towards his. Her eyes were inevitably drawn towards his and, not for the first time, she pondered what wonderfully deep chocolate brown, expressive, eyes he had. Dancing pools of sheer delight: twinkling orbs of sensual sexuality, filled with affection. She saw a lot in that gaze.

"I hate to pour cold water on this picnic, Sam," Jack said practically, trying to distract himself from an almost overwhelming sense of desire, "we ought to consider making a move back soon. It's a fair walk and we don't want to get caught out here at dusk. If we set off soon we'll make it with time to spare."

"Can I digest the food for a while first?"

"Yeahsureyabetchya."

He grinned, urging her to lean against both the tree and him as they had done earlier, his arm around her shoulder and her head resting against his. It felt good, lulling him towards a snooze until he mentally prodded himself to summon some energy.

"Sam, if we don't get up to go soon I'm gonna fall asleep here."

"Tired, Jack?"

"You could say that. Restless night and I'm not used to these long hikes anymore. Too much ass sitting."

"Restless?" she queried.

"Thinking about you, Sam. Thinking way too much." Sam's fingers crept under the t-shirt he wore, stroking his chest, and Jack sighed almost forlornly. "Way, way too much," he whispered.

"Good thoughts, I hope."

"Way too good too," he admitted and she smiled, kissing his cheek.

"Let's get moving then. Can't have you falling asleep on me."

"Maybe later," he posited, catching her eye and her responding blush.

"That I could happily live with," she said excited by the idea of Jack sleeping in her arms. "Jack, I so wish you didn't have to go back to Washington tomorrow. It kind of sucks, you know?"

"If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off," he joked, making her smile, "That's better Sam. You have such a terrific smile. Beautiful."

She kissed him. A sweet and tender kiss with a hint of longing, hands running through his short grey hair and down his neck to his back. Then, pulling herself away reluctantly, she got up and started to clear up the mess they'd made. He joined her and when they had finished no one would ever have guessed they'd even been there.

For most of the walk back they held hands and by the time they reached the car the sun was just about ready to think about going to bed. They sat cuddling, watching the shimmering orange sunset and, after it had slipped below the horizon, got into the car and drove towards home.

"Wanna come back to mine for a drink?" Jack asked as he drove.

"Is that a come back for a nightcap question or a come back for a drink one?" Sam joked.

"Drink. We'll think about the nightcap part."

Sam could see Jack's smile out of the corner of her eye and turned to face him. He glanced at her, quickly tearing his eyes away and back to the road, pondering for the umpteenth time how lucky he was that this bright and attractive woman seemed to find something appealing in a guy like him. Long may it continue!

Now he was finally going to take her back to his lair, Jack started to feel the elephants stomping, just as they had earlier that day, and cursed himself.

'Jack, if you screw this up I'll never forgive you, you pathetic idiot!' he lectured himself, as was his habit.

If people only knew what lay inside that head of his much of the time, he'd probably be committed to a institution, he thought; nice padded cell and a fetching white jacket that wrapped around you so you couldn't move your arms. Sheesh! He told himself to get a grip, trying to concentrate on the road ahead and block such mental ramblings. Not an easy thing with the woman who had haunted some of his dreams and fantasies for the past few years sitting right next to him.

When they got back Jack mixed them a couple of drinks and flopped on the couch, exhausted. Stress, sleeplessness, a long walk and living on his nerves for a week had taken their toll. When Sam asked if she could take a shower he was grateful that he'd be able to relax for a while before putting in too much more effort. He kept telling himself that he wasn't a young man any more and it was a distinctly disturbing notion.

"Jack," Sam said as she walked back into the room a while later. There was no response. Jack was sitting sprawled on the couch, apparently asleep, "Great!" she muttered under her breath.

Sitting opposite him and playing with the drink he'd mixed, she noticed that his remained untouched. It was a dead cert that he'd fallen asleep almost before she got in the shower. A small smile lit her face as she stared at him. So peaceful, so handsome. Jack O'Neill is a pretty gorgeous hunk of man, she thought.

After considering his physical attributes for a time, she moved to sit next to him, softly stroking his face, and touching her lips to his cheek and mouth. He vaguely stirred, but didn't awaken and she didn't want him to. If he were that exhausted she would let him rest.

A little disappointed because their evening was cut short, and because she had so longed to sleep in his arms, Sam snuggled up to him, moving his arm around her shoulders and resting her head on his chest. Idly, her hand stroked along the length of his upper leg. It felt comfortable, just where she wanted to be. Instinctively he moved his arm to embrace her as if half awake, although it seemed he wasn't, even though he mumbled "Sam". Perhaps a dream.

"Dream away, Jack, and keep dreaming about me. We'll get our chance; I can wait a little longer," she said in a low voice, gently grasping the hand that lay around her body, and soon she was sleep in his arms as she had wanted.

Waking a couple of hours later to a chorus of loud snores, Sam realised that neither of them seemed to have moved much.

"Jack," she whispered softly in his ear, shaking him gently, "Jack, you need to get into bed."

"Mmmnagh," Jack mumbled.

"Jack, come on. If you sleep here all night you are so going to regret it in the morning."

"Carter? Wh…?"

"Come to bed, darling."

The barely cognisant Jack obeyed without question, following her to the bedroom.

"I feel asleep," he murmured.

"Yes."

"Crap!"

"Shhh… you'll wake yourself up. Get undressed and into bed,"

She helped him strip down to his boxers, yearning to caress the contours of his body and urging herself to be patient. He would feel much better after a good night's rest. Perhaps in the morning they could…

"Sam, I'm sorry."

"S'okay. Get into bed. Sleep."

"You getting in?" he asked groggily.

"Yes."

"Mmmm… 'kay… that my shirt?"

"Yeah, I borrowed it after my shower."

"Looks good."

"Come on Jack, get in. Colonel Sam gave you an order."

"Colonel Sam? Like that."

Jack's voice was still filled with sleep. One part of him was telling him to go with that drowsy feeling while the other was prodding him to wake up and cuddle Sam. If she got into bed he could achieve both. He eased himself under the cover and Sam got in, immediately taking him into her arms, and he returned the clinch so they snuggled up together once more.

"Mmmm… nice… cosy…" he muttered, "So sorry, Sam, so sorry."

"No need," she responded, "Sleep my love, I'm right here, right where I belong."

Her words seeped into Jack's semi-conscious brain and he smiled, stroking her hair briefly until his hand stopped and he was asleep. Sam followed swiftly, warmed inside and out by the fact that she was in Jack's O'Neill's bed, in Jack O'Neill's arms. Dreaming of what tomorrow might bring, she smiled as she slept.


	4. Never Alone: Sunday Morning

Title: Never Alone: Sunday Morning

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Romance/Sex

Content Level: 13+. An Adult Only version of this story, containing an explicit sex scene, can be found on my site

Content Warnings: Mild language and sexual situations

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: General spoilers for 9

Summary: On the Sunday morning of their first weekend of dating, Jack wakes up cursing that he fell asleep whilst with Sam. Can he overcome his embarrassment and anxiety, and finally make love to the women he desires?

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone: Birth of a Weekend

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 81 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: Once more written to fulfil the weekly fic challenge on the As the Stargate Turns Yahoo Group, in this case to include the phrase "But I thought you wore thongs?" and/or the word 'tango'. This story contains both. Thanks very much folks for the feedback requesting more. My muse if obviously driven by it. This fic is not beta read so please forgive any errors. Hopefully there are few or none.

**Never Alone: Sunday Morning **

Jack woke fuzzily next morning with the distinct impression that something was not quite right. For starters he could feel a weight on top of him; a not very heavy weight admittedly, but a weight, nevertheless. It was warm and soft and felt kind of nice. There was someone else in the bed, for crying out loud, and he had his arms around this person! Immediately alert, he opened his eyes to check out his surroundings. Then he realised the thing on top of him was Sam's arm. They were intertwined.

'That sure is something different,' he thought, 'Sweet!'

He could get used to this, although it was probably going to take quite some time to do so. This represented a definite shift in the balance of their relationship. Not only that but he'd got used to sleeping alone. He hoped he got the chance to almost take for granted that he'd wake up next to Sam in the mornings. That was appealing. Then he remembered that he had fallen asleep the previous night.

"A weekend with Sam and I fall asleep? What a putz! Jeez, Jack, you finally made it and then you screw it up. Great impression you must have made!'

He could more or less recall that she's woken him up on the couch, where he had probably been sprawled in very ungainly fashion and snoring loudly - so not a good way to endear someone to you – and she'd coaxed him to bed, but he had no recollection of her getting in next to him. They'd slept in each other's arms and he'd been oblivious. That was just wrong on so many levels.

Trying to delay the inevitable disentanglement to go for a morning pee, he took a deep breath, inhaling her scent, the smell of her hair and skin. Then he lightly stroked her arm with his thumb. He didn't want to wake her, wishing to revel in this moment. If he wasn't so dying for a pee he probably would have enjoyed it better, nevertheless, it made him feel pretty good to have her sleeping there next to him, so close.

'Damned bladder!' he cursed inwardly, 'Great hard on, Jack, but for all the wrong reasons. Sheesh!'

"Jack?" Sam mumbled sleepily, opening her big baby blues.

"Morning," he responded.

"Morning."

"Sorry, Sam, gotta pee." He kissed her hair, getting up swiftly and hoping she wouldn't notice his physical condition.

"Come back soon," she muttered, a small smile on her face.

"You betchya."

Once behind the bathroom door he leaned against it heavily, taking a few deep breaths.

'Calm down, Jack!' he remonstrated with himself. What was it Teal'c once said about things calming up rather than down? Jack thought that was so apposite to this situation.

What a jerk he was for falling asleep like that. Sure, the week had been busy, and stressful, with very little in the way of sleep coming his way, but he had so wanted to make a good impression this weekend. So much for that great idea! It had gone to the great idea reject shop in the sky, and may God have mercy on its soul!

It bothered him a lot to contemplate what Sam might think and a spark of pure angst hit his gut when he started worrying about whether he'd screwed up. Looking at his reflection in the mirror made him ponder how old he was growing. He looked old, dammit! Age seemed to be catching up on him. What did Sam see when she looked at him?

Pleading with himself not to lose it, he decided a shower might help. He had to focus. After all, she'd stayed and was in his bed waiting, so how bad could things be? That was pretty comforting. If he was going to be up close and personal with Sam he desperately needed to do something radical about his current state of personal hygiene.

'Eww!' he thought as he caught a whiff of stale sweat. All that walking the previous day and he hadn't gone near water since.

Having peed, showered and cleaned his teeth as quickly as possible, he felt much better, even vaguely human, and went to rejoin her in the bedroom looking confident, although he was still jittery inside.

Meanwhile, Sam had been thinking about him with anxious, but excited, anticipation. A smile played on her lips as she recalled the feel of him in her arms, and of him holding her. How long had she wanted that? A long time. Way too long.

That notion made her distinctly nervous. Dreams don't come true, or not in her experience. Making the dream a reality seemed unreal in itself. What if the dream remained a dream and the reality did not live up to it? The thought was doing her head in. She so wanted the dream to become reality and that knowledge did nothing to quell her nerves.

Jack seemed to be taking a long time in the bathroom. How long can a pee take? Was he embarrassed, avoiding her? No, she found that hard to believe, despite her self-doubt. The expression on his face and the light dancing in his eyes when he looked at her earlier told a different story.

"Gee, Jack, you were gone way too long. Is your hair wet?" she asked when he appeared at the door, trying to appear calm.

"Quick shower."

"Shower?"

"In case you hadn't noticed, it was sorely needed, I can tell ya. Okay for you, you had one last night, while I fell asleep," he sat beside her on the bed, "Sam, I'm so sorry. What a total jerk you must think I am."

"No Jack." Placing her finger against his lips to silence him, she followed it with a brief touch of them with her lips. "Toothpaste? Huh, my turn."

"Great impression I must have made!"

"Stop already. You don't have to try to impress me Jack. I've known you for years, remember?"

"And you're still here?" he joked uneasily, "Sam, it's our first weekend. I-I let you down."

"No…"

"Okay, I let myself down."

"Jack, we have lots of time…"

"Not this weekend."

"Then let's not spoil it with pointless regrets."

"You're right. It's just…"

"Wanted to impress me, sure. I just want you to be you Jack."

"What if you don't like me?"

The question took Sam aback. The thought had never occurred to her. They'd known each other for all those years and he doubted it? Sure, Jack had his faults, along with the rest of the human race. She'd seen many facets of the man over the years, good, bad and downright terrifying: kind, callous, caring, angry, arrogant, self-effacing, generous, cruel, noble, brave, dense, intensely bright, hard, upset, hurt; too many facets to name them all.

Like anyone else, the man was a mass of contradictions and conundrums, although maybe more than anybody else she'd ever met. He was a complicated man and could be difficult to figure out. She knew he wore a mask much of the time and that just made getting to know the real him more difficult.

Sometimes she'd been too quick to judge, misunderstanding him because she'd been taken in by his outward persona instead of looking inside at the man. However, sometimes she had understood him only too well. He had a dark side, very dark, and a hard outer shell. Yet, despite some fundamental disagreements between them, she had always liked, admired and respected him.

His question revealed the nervous lover Jack, the soft-centred Jack; Jack the uncertain – of himself and of her. Although she knew these things existed inside of him and she'd seen them poke their heads above the parapet before, this was an entirely different thing. This was personal and reflected how he felt about her and their currently evolving relationship.

It comforted her to know that they shared similar doubts and fears. He had revealed some of this on their first date but, until now, she had not realised that, like her, he still retained that kernel of fear. She had never pegged him as a reticent man. Believing he would not thank her for referring to what he had just revealed, she chose to answer in a light-hearted manner.

"Not like you? Don't be ridiculous!" She kissed his cheek, "Now, as I said, my turn," and with those words she got up to go to the bathroom. "Can I borrow your toothbrush?"

"Um, sure," he replied said, slightly dazed, but a smile appeared on his face as what she'd said sunk in. She seemed shocked by the idea that she might not like him, as if it wasn't possible. Not only that but she wanted to borrow his toothbrush! These had to be good signs.

"That my shirt?" Jack called after her.

"You betchya!"

"Looks sooo much better on you!"

Sam smiled to herself and went for her own pee and shower.

While she was in the bathroom, Jack decided to make coffee and take it back to bed for them. Passing the bathroom he heard the running water of the shower and wished he could join her. That seemed too intimate, and maybe too impertinent, for such a fledgling relationship.

"Another time," he muttered.

Making the coffee in record time, Jack was back in bed before she returned and sitting under the covers, propped against the bed head as she sauntered back in, bright and breezy, as well as seriously glowing, he thought.

"Now I'm ready," she said.

"Ready for what?"

"For you."

"Oh!" he grinned, "I just hope I'm ready for you."

Jack caught the fear, trying to scrunch it up into a little ball and toss it in the trash. Fear, excitement and the thrill of anticipation made his stomach churn. Sam approached the bed and he threw back the covers to welcome her in, putting an arm around her as she sat next to him.

"You made coffee?" she asked with a smile.

"Wake up juice."

"Great! Just what the doctor ordered."

Both sipped their coffee but, when they returned the cups to the nightstand, Jack kissed her hair, resting his head against hers. Sam turned her face to kiss his forehead.

"What do you want to do today, Sam?"

"Stay here?"

"As in… right here?"

He moved to look at her with widened eyes, and she was blushing at her suggestion. Beautiful, so beautiful. Straddling her, he cupped her face in his hands, kissing her tentatively at first. His lips lightly ran over and around hers before he deepened the kiss by languidly inserting his tongue. With delicate care, the tongue explored the inside of her mouth, brushing lightly over her teeth and gums.

Sam grasped his head and returned the kiss, her tongue clashing with his. The kiss was not one of passion, but comforting and loving, and Sam felt her insides turn to goo as she allowed the feelings it provoked to pervade her very being.

His hands shook as he started to undo the buttons on her shirt, fingers gently fondling the skin beneath. He was searching her eyes trying to discern her thoughts and feelings. She seemed okay with it so he continued. Opening the shirt wide to free her breasts, he sat back and stared for a while, memorising the sight of them, and then his fingertips traced around her nipples and continued on to explore her contours. She sighed, trembling, and goose bumps appeared.

As he stroked the pale smooth flesh of her buttocks she noticed a twinkle of merriment in his eyes.

"Commando, Sam? But I thought you wore thongs?"

"Don't tell me there's a bet about that as the SGC as well as whether I'm a natural blonde?"

"Um, you know about that?" He looked vaguely embarrassed and coughed uneasily.

"Who doesn't?"

"Yeah, well we bet on almost anything inside the mountain, you know."

"And what did you bet?"

"Thongs, natural blonde."

"Well you were right about the thongs."

"And the natural blonde," he grinned, the flippant banter helping him come to terms with the notion of this new turn of events in his life; becoming Sam's lover. "But I don't think I'll be picking up my winnings anytime soon."

"Oh?"

"This is way too private, way too intimate."

"I'm glad you think so."

Moving down the bed so that she was lying under him rather than sitting, Sam urged Jack to move along with her and he did, continuing to sit astride her and watching silently for a while, fingers brushing lightly over her abdomen. Sucking his bottom lip, he considered what to say.

"Are we both sure about this?" he asked eventually.

"Of course I'm sure, Jack, never surer. Aren't you?

"Sam, this means a lot to me. This isn't just a casual thing. There's no going back."

"I know. I don't want to go back. Do you?"

"No. It's just…" he tailed off, unwilling to confess his feelings.

"You're nervous." It was a statement, not a question.

"I g… yes."

"So am I. It's a big step, but we have to get past it, Jack."

"Past it?"

"All that stuff that stayed inside us over the years; that we bottled up. All that CO, subordinate thing."

"Hey, I've managed to call you Sam, not Carter - mostly. What more do you want?" he cracked with a grin, knowing she was right.

"Oh, I don't know… that we make love without me screwing up."

"You screw up? It's way more likely to be me who does the screwing up around here."

"I don't think so."

"No pressure then, huh?" he joked, and Sam grinned, softly caressing his face.

"No pressure Jack. Really."

"I just figure you must have certain expectations is all."

"So must you."

Jack considered that response and nodded.

"It's funny, isn't it? I wanted this for so long and now I have the chance I don't quite know what to do."

"I betchya do know," she teased.

"In theory," he chuckled.

"Jack we don't have to rush into anything. If you have doubts… heck, what does a guy like you see in a woman like me anyway?"

"A guy like me?"

"A guy who could have any woman he wants, but chooses me."

"You think I could have any woman I want? That's flattering Sam, but sooo not true. Besides, the only woman I do want is you. I don't doubt that. No way!"

"Which makes me wonder why? I'm nothing special."

"What? You're kidding right? You know that's not true. I'm the mister ordinary guy; the one who should feel lucky that a beautiful, sexy genius like you is interested in me."

"Beautiful, sexy genius? Is that how you see me?"

"Amongst other things."

"I'm not that great once you get to know me."

"I've known you for over 8 years, Sam. What's not great?"

"This is totally different. This is the real me."

"You mean I was never working with the real you? Come on, Sam, the same applies to me, you know. I could ask why you're interested in a dumb ass like me."

"If you really were a dumb ass I wouldn't be."

"Maybe I am."

"I think not."

"Huh! I took an IQ test once and the results were negative,"

He was pleased to see Sam laugh and relax a little again. Her words had calmed his nerves somewhat as well. He might have played the dumb ass for years but didn't really want Sam to believe he was one.

"Sam, I'm glad you think so highly of me, really I am, but what if your faith is misplaced? I'm no great catch. You, on the other hand, are the most wanted woman in the universe, it seems. Can't go anywhere without tripping over a pile of your admirers with their tongues hanging out. I've been known to slip over in the puddles of drool."

"Nice imagery, Jack, but that's not the same thing as this."

"What?"

"This really means something to me."

"I hope so, because it means something to me too. It means a lot."

"Are you really so entirely oblivious to the amount of swooning you provoke in the women around you?"

"Aren't that many women around me. You're kidding, right? Really?" He gave her a brief kiss and added, "Look, isn't this conversation a little heavy for a couple who are about to make love for the first time?"

"Is that what we're about to do?"

"I hope so, don't you? Shall we tango?"

He winked, waggled his eyebrows suggestively and, without waiting for a response, took the plunge, pulling her into an embrace and kissing her with a deep passion that neither of them had shown until that moment. It made Sam wonder about the hidden depths of Jack O'Neill. She was eager to explore those depths and for him to explore hers. She didn't mean just physically; there was a lot more to their relationship than that. A whole lot more.

Jack started making love to her, fondling and kissing a little nervously, but effectively, and she was thrilled by his touch. She was naked, but Jack still wore his boxer shorts and he was starting to think they were getting in the way.

"I guess these need to come off," he commented about his underwear, "did you think I was a boxers kind of guy?"

"Yes, Jack, but if you want a woman to take you seriously in bed, pictures of Homer Simpson saying 'doh!' on your shorts is so not the way to go."

He laughed, becoming businesslike when he ceased his own ministrations, and hers, by moving to one side of her to remove them.

"You mean you aren't taking me seriously?"

"Ummm… very, but I know you."

"So you figure that next time I'm picking up a strange woman I shouldn't wear these shorts, huh? "He discarded them, lowering himself to lie on his side next to her, "How about my Bart "Eat My Shorts" shorts?"

As he chuckled at his own joke, Sam turned to face him, her expression one of feigned incredulity that he should ask such a question, and then she kissed his cheek briefly before responding.

"I'm kinda hoping you won't get the urge to go picking up strange women."

"I'm kinda hoping I won't need to."

They exchanged smiles and Jack leaned to kiss her again, his arm around her back pulling her closer and then moving slowly down her spine and caressing the cheeks of her ass. Meanwhile, Sam grasped his head, urging him to deepen the kiss by reciprocating his passion.

"I want you to teach me Jack. Teach me what you like, what you want."

Her words pleased him immeasurably. She wanted to pleasure him, wanted to know how.

"If you'll return the favor," he responded with a leer, "but we have plenty of time for that, Sam. A whole lifetime if we want it."

"A whole lifetime? Wow, that's quite something. Shouldn't we get this weekend out of the way first?"

He discerned no discomfort in her response, despite the words she chose, deciding to imbue them with a positive spin.

Their subsequent lovemaking became a frenzy of passion, slightly clumsy but intense. They both knew it was happening too quickly, carelessly and thoughtlessly, but it was happening and neither had the will or desire to stop it. The slow, gentle and thoughtful kind of lovemaking both of them yearned for deep down would have to wait its turn but that didn't seem to matter.

Afterwards, Jack took her in his arms and pulled her close, smoothing her back with contentment. His hand reached to comb through her hair.

"Gee, Jack, I didn't just dream that, did I?"

"It felt very real to me. If it was a dream, don't bother waking me."

He kissed her forehead, and then the tip of her nose, moving to her lips and then capturing her eyes with his.

"D-did it feel good Sam?"

"It was great Jack, so worth the wait. Surely you could tell?"

"Just checkin'," he grinned.

It had been great, although he believed it could be better, for both of them. This was their first time, so pretty damned great in the circumstances. Certainly not the disaster he'd feared. Once they'd loosened up and lost some of their inhibitions it had been very fine indeed. Now they had broken the barrier he knew that things could only get better. Next time he hoped they would be even less inhibited and neither of them needed to fear their sexual union again.

"How about you?" she asked, bashfully.

"God, Sam, it was…" he didn't know what to say, "great?" his features broke into a crooked, shy smile and he squeezed her affectionately.

"I know I'm not as experienced as you so…"

"No, don't Sam! You think I compare you to other women? You don't know anything about my sex life. Don't assume… this is unique and different. This is us. The sex and our feelings, they are forever inextricably linked."

"That's sounds quite wise."

"Ya think? Cool!"

Giving her a gentle squeeze he moulded himself to her, enjoying their embrace and the afterglow of their sexual rapture. It hadn't been quite how he had wanted to be, but regretting that was not a beneficial exercise. Now he had to look forward and he had a lot to look forward to.

"That was great," he told her quietly, "but I was sloppy and awkward. I guess I wanted this first time to be… to be perfect. I wanted to make love to you so slowly and sweetly, Sam, and instead I was a bull in a china shop."

"It didn't feel like that to me."

"Next time, later, you'll see, I promise."

"I said you didn't have to try and impress me, you idiot."

"I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing," he joked to lighten the mood, and Sam laughed obligingly.

"Can't say I noticed," she retorted, equally light-heartedly and Jack caressed her tenderly.

They dozed cosily in each other's arms for a while and when Jack woke up he was ravenous, and desperate for caffeine. Sam heartily concurred about both so they got up and went to the kitchen to look through Jack's fridge and cupboards.

"I got eggs. Want eggs? Better idea, I'll drive up the street and buy take out. There is a fantastic Jewish bakery open on Sundays."

"Bagels?"

"And more. Not just Jewish stuff."

"Sounds good. Are you sure?"

"Won't take more than 10 minutes. You're worth going for."

"And you're worth waiting for."

"Am I imagining it or are we sounding like a couple of saps?"

"I guess it comes with being new to this."

"Yeah. I kinda like that feelin'."

"Me too."

With a smile he took her hand and kissed it delicately.

"You are so beautiful, Sam. And real hot when you're mussed up, and wearing one of my shirts, you know that?" he saw her blush at his compliment and fleetingly kissed her lips. "You make coffee and I'll get on a few more clothes."

He was dead right about the bakery and Sam thought he must have bought the shop when he staggered in, arms laden with bags: bagels, filled and plain, sweet and savoury, croissants, rolls, French bread and a wonderful looking granary loaf, as well as plenty of things to put in and spread on the delicacies. Sam's eyes widened when he also produced donuts and other sweet, spicy delicacies. The smell of cinnamon assailed her nostrils and she knew she had to have some of whatever produced that evocative aroma.

"Wow! We could eat for a week," she exclaimed.

"I wanted to give you some options."

"It all looks and smells delicious."

"Lox bagel?"

"That will do for starters."

They munched their way through some of the varied and wonderful baked titbits, washing it down with coffee and juice, until they were replete.

"There's a ton left!" Sam declared.

"We might get hungry again later. If not you could take the rest home, or into the SGC tomorrow and let the boys fight it out for the best of what's left."

"Daniel and Teal'c slugging it out over croissants and donuts? That paints a picture."

"Hank as referee? Daniel could talk Teal'c to death, but I'm bettin' I know who would win in a fist fight."

"Surprise me."

They grinned at each other inanely, enjoying the easy banter. Gone were the trembling nerves; fear had been vanquished.

"How about Cam?" Sam asked.

"Cam? You mean Mitchell? Cam, for crying out loud? Oy!"

"He's kind of sweet."

Jack felt an irrational surge of jealousy. Mitchell was a good-looking young stud who was a way better catch than he would ever be.

"You like him?"

"We get along okay. Yeah, I like him." She caught a fleeting hint of something quite unexpected in Jack's eyes before he shuttered them. "Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"

"Course not!"

She didn't believe him, thinking from his tone that he protested too much.

"I guess I should be flattered that you're jealous," she said and Jack looked down at the floor feeling foolish. "You're the man I want in my life Jack."

"And I'll be in Washington," he said quietly, deciding he had to play this game with Sam honestly, or not at all. He realised he was generally crap at expressing his feelings, but Sam deserved something better than the Jack O'Neill silent treatment, so he had to try.

"And I'll see him nearly every day, is that what worries you?"

"I'm just being irrational Dorothy," he responded in a Scarecrow type manner. She smiled and squeezed his hand at the use of that as a nickname. "I'm a grown man, but you make me feel something… Jeez, I feel like an adolescent and a mature man at the same time. How do you figure that?"

"Same here, Mr Scarecrow."

"Are you trying to suggest I have stuffing for brains?" he retorted with an arched eyebrows but a faintly amused smile.

"You certainly need something else between the ears if you think I have any interest in Cam. And I feel a little gawky too, by the way, although a lot less than I did yesterday, or the day before, or even this morning."

He moved his chair closer to hers and stroked her cheek softly with his thumb.

"It's just that… I have feelings for you Sam."

"Feelings?"

"Deep feelings."

"I have those for you too."

"I'm real happy about that."

"I so wish you didn't have to go back to Washington."

"So do I. But I don't have to leave for hours yet, so we should make the best of our time. You know, I never believed I could feel this deeply about anyone again. I just… wanted you to know. It's important to me. You're important to me."

"Oh, Jack!"

Getting up from her chair and sitting at his feet, she put her head in his lap and wrapped her arms around him as far as she could reach. Jack played with her hair and stoked her neck affectionately

"I'm not real good with words Sam, but I don't want to screw this up because I'm so crap at that. I think you need more and you sure deserve it. I need this relationship to be honest and true because it's got to be about the best thing to happen to me in years and no way am I jeopardising it."

"They sounded like great words to me."

"So I'm doin' okay?"

"You're doing fine."

Lifting her head from his lap, she kneeled and craned her neck to kiss him.

"It's early days yet, Sam, I still have plenty of time to make a total ass of myself." Before she could say anything he continued on a different theme, "My kitchen floor is so not the place to prostrate yourself at my feet, Dorothy," he joked, "wanna go get comfortable?"

"Wanna go back to bed, Mr Scarecrow?"

"Gotta admit, bed's pretty comfortable, and very appealing."

Helping her up as he rose, he put his arm around her waist and led her back to the bedroom. It was not his intention to seduce her, although he wouldn't say no to the opportunity, but simply to be close to her; as close as possible so that he could face the long days ahead without her in his arms. It bothered him that he felt like that already. Things were moving so fast he wasn't sure he could keep up with his own feelings; wasn't even sure he knew what they were, just that they were powerfully overwhelming.

"I don't know how often we'll get to see each other, Sam. Things can be pretty hectic for both of us," he said as they lay snuggling in each other's arms. He loved the feel of her naked skin against his, and against his fingertips as he fondled her lovingly.

"I know. I think I'm going to miss you Jack."

"Yeah, me too. Will you come to Washington sometime? I'd love you to come," he asked hopefully.

"Of course I'll come, Jack; whenever I can."

"And I'll come here as much as I can for as long as you want me to."

"Mr Scarecrow?"

"Yes Dorothy."

"Will you make love to me?"

"Anytime. Can't think of anything else I'd rather do."

This second round of lovemaking was exactly that. They took their time and it was an explorative, slow and gentle encounter, more like a Waltz than a Tango. Both experienced what they believed to be new sensations they'd never had before and much of that was down to their mutual feelings: friendship, affection, admiration, respect and, very possibly, love. Some of it arose from their eagerness to learn about each other's physical needs, which in turn fed their psychological ones.

After staying in bed canoodling for most of the day, they got up and tore into the food again. Jack packed his small weekend bag ready to leave for his plane and their mood became more sullen as they brooded on his imminent departure.

"Not enough time Jack."

"I know. Maybe I should go in the morning."

"You said you'd have a meeting. You would have to get up impossibly early. There may not be a flight."

Jack was hitching a military ride and wondered about arranging to pilot himself in future. That could partially solve some issues. He was a General in the air force, for crying out loud; that had to mean something.

"Probably not."

"And it will only make things harder."

"Yeah."

"Can I come see you off? I can drive you and arrange to return your rental."

"I so hate goodbyes. I've had to deal with way too many in my lifetime."

"You don't want me to come?" she was disappointed.

"Yes, I want you to come. Can't quite bear to part with you yet."

"I guess we'd better get going."

"Yeah, I guess."

Elation had turned to deflation. This was something else they were going to have to adjust too.

As Sam drove, Jack resisted the temptation to keep looking at her, or touch her. She wanted him to, but said nothing. They reached the base and Jack grabbed his bag from the back. This was it, the moment Sam had been dreading; Jack was returning to Washington. She fingered the heart he'd given her for her birthday.

"It says never alone, but you're going to leave me alone," she said.

"Never Sam. I'm with you, always. In here," he lightly touched her head, stroking her hair, "and I very much hope in here too," his hand rested on her breast, close to her heart.

"You are definitely very much in both places, Jack, bold as brass and very sexy with it "

"Good. I want to stay there as long as possible."

"I want you to too."

They found his plane and the pilot was climbing aboard, getting ready to fly.

"General O'Neill?" he saluted smartly. "Welcome aboard, sir."

"At ease, Captain. Give me a minute."

Eyeing Sam, the pilot could see why the General wanted a minute. Hell, he'd take as many minutes as possible with that woman. Lucky guy.

"Take care of yourself Sam. I'll call," Jack said, pulling her into a final embrace and kissing her goodbye.

"This isn't goodbye Jack. You take care too. Don't let the politicians get you down."

"I'll try. Sam, I'm so happy this happened. I nearly lost you, nearly let you go."

"I nearly let you got too. Won't be doing that again in a hurry."

"Me neither." He started to board in the plane and turned for a final word, a gleam in his eyes. "Dorothy, next time, I want to see you wearing those sexy red shoes!"

"Yeahsureyabetchya, Mr Scarecrow."

She executed a perfectly formed salute, a big smile on her face but with tears welling up behind her eyes, and he saluted back, turning and boarding the plane, not looking back again because he couldn't bear too. Sam watched the plane taxi down the runway feeling slightly forlorn. This was such an anti-climax to her wonderful weekend with Jack.

As she got into the car to drive away, Sam fingered the heart he had given her and it cheered her soul because, although she was alone right now, she knew that she never really would be again.


	5. Never Alone: Washington DC

Title: Never Alone: Washington DC

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Romance

Content Level: 13+.

Content Warnings: Mild language and sexual situations

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: General spoilers for 9

Summary: When Sam finally visits Jack in Washington, she decides she wants to make an impact and show Jack a Sam he's never seen, and that she has never revealed to anyone before.

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone: Sunday Morning

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 64 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: Once more written to fulfil the weekly fic challenge on the As the Stargate Turns Yahoo Group, this time to include the phrase "for the sake of humanity" and/or the word 'Starry-Skies'. This story contains both. Thanks very much folks for the feedback requesting more. This fic is not beta read so please forgive any errors. Hopefully there are few or none.

**Never Alone: Washington DC**

Sam had thought about Jack a lot over the last three weeks. Three weeks! It seemed ridiculously long, but that was when she'd seen him last. They had spoken to each other, of course, and many times. They often spoke when she was in bed late at night, or after she got home from work, but never at the SGC. Jack would consider that presumptuous.

When they worked together, he would walk into her lab, and play with whatever he could lay his hands on and, although it could be irritating, she loved that he would do that, and missed it. He would always have a reason for popping by, however flimsy the excuse might be. The phone was another matter entirely. He wouldn't consider it right to interrupt her work with no genuine pretext.

When he did call, it made her shiver with longing for him. They would talk about nothing in particular, or consequential, but his voice was a comfort in her lonely night. She could almost hear his breath in her ear as he spoke, and the ghost of his hand softly brushing her skin.

She had never expected to find it so easy to talk to him on the phone. In so many ways Jack wasn't a words man and, admittedly their conversations weren't exactly deep, but they were comfortable together over the phone and could rattle on aimlessly for a considerable time.

After three lonesome weeks, she was finally in Washington. Sam looked forward to seeing Jack on his new home turf. She was curious about his apartment, his neighbourhood, and what he got up to when he wasn't at work. Most of all, however, she wanted to see him, touch him, hold him and make love to him.

She got into the cab aware of many eyes looking in her direction. What did she expect in this outfit? This was for Jack. His eyes would surely pop out of his head when he saw her. Red shoes; he had asked for red shoes and she was wearing them as he wanted. The rest of what she wore might come a quite surprise, and it had taken Sam a lot of courage to dress this way.

Sam had a plan mapped out in her head and hoped she could pull it off. She was nervous about it, but not in the shy way she had been over their first weekend. That weekend, and their subsequent conversations, had loosened her up considerably; Jack too, she figured. Having worried that the change in their relationship would be a disaster, that they would find it too difficult to adjust, now she was pretty confident.

She truly believed that he loved her, although he had never stated it. Jack had some old fashioned values, and she loved that about him. He wanted to woo and win her; he wanted to do the right thing. Little did he realise that he had won her a long time ago. There might have been some hiccups along the way, but she was his and she wanted him to be hers.

Her plan was daring, for Sam, and she hoped Jack would react well to it, figuring he probably would, but not entirely sure. It was this doubt that made her slightly nervous. She wanted him to see another side of her; a side that only he provoked. A lot of thinking over the last three weeks had drawn her to this conclusion and Sam had surprised herself. She was pretty sure that Jack would be equally surprised.

The nerves were mainly overridden by excitement at the prospect of being with Jack for another whole weekend. The end result of both was butterflies flying around a hard knot in her stomach.

'Get over it Sam!' she told herself.

Practising a couple of relaxation techniques Teal'c had taught her, by the time she drew up outside Jack's apartment building she was ready.

"Mr DeMille, I'm ready for my close up," she muttered under her breath as she approached the door.

Jack's heart missed a beat and he gulped. She was so hot she sizzled. Appraising her slowly, from her feet to her face and hair, he realised his mouth must be hanging open. On her feet she wore a pair of sexy red shoes. These must be the ones she'd told him about. They were high and strappy and showed off her ankles to their best advantage, making her legs look longer than ever, as if they didn't look long enough already.

Talking of legs, his eyes wondered up them. She wore what looked like silky smooth black stockings and he was pretty sure he glimpsed a seam at the back, but would need to confirm it. Seamed black stockings? Oh my God, what was she trying to do to him? His stomach lurched dramatically, and his groin tingled.

Her suit matched the shoes. Red hot! It looked like raw silk and he wanted to run his hands down her arm and over her thigh to feel the sensuality of it, and her. The skirt was short, emphasising her legs even more, with a boxy jacket. Under the jacket was a black blouse and although it was partially hidden, he could see a camisole underneath, so knew it was a sheer fabric. Jeez! He momentarily paused to consider what she might be wearing beneath these clothes and found himself increasingly titillated.

She wore makeup, red lipstick to match the outfit, and some blusher, eyeliner and mascara, enhancing her beautiful big blue eyes. Even her fingernails were painted red. He was convinced they were false as her nails weren't actually that long. Definitely not regulation!

Topping it off was a black hat with a large brim. A hat? Jeez! Then he noticed her hands. She was wearing gloves, sexy black ones. She looked like she'd stepped out of a movie; Grace Kelly maybe, or Audrey Hepburn. Yeah definitely Audrey Hepburn, although Sam had a much fuller figure than Hepburn, who you couldn't see at all if she stood sideways.

All Sam needed was a long black cigarette holder and it would complete the look. This was the antithesis of Dorothy and her red slippers, and totally unexpected. Jack felt wholly unprepared for the thoughts and emotions her appearance stirred.

He had never seen this side of Sam and wondered whether anybody else had. She looked terrific, so different: a sexy, sultry seductress. He couldn't quite believe his eyes. Sucking air through his teeth he muttered "God!" under his breath, incredulously. Sam heard it and smiled.

"All this because I asked to see you in your red shoes? You look stunning. Can you pick my jaw off the floor on your way in?"

He moved aside to let her pass and she entered, brushing against him seductively and grasping his head firmly between her hands to plant a huge kiss on his lips. Man!

"Holy crap, Sam, what are you trying to do to me?"

"Like it?"

"Like it? There aren't enough words in my vocabulary. Will wow do?"

She'd left her small case at the door, clearly expecting him to carry it into the apartment, playing the part. Waltzing in, she swayed her hips enticingly.

"I'll accept wow. I'm sure you'll find a way to better express your appreciation later, Jack."

She turned to smile tantalisingly and grasp his arm, pulling him closer for a kiss. Jack dropped her bag in surprise. This time the kiss was long, hot and strong. Jack couldn't quite believe it. Who'd have thought this of Sam?

"I'm sure I will," he said croaked breathlessly when they broke off.

"Feels like you already have," she arched her eyebrows, staring at him from under her long lashes, and grabbed his ass, pulling his groin against her body. Sure he had! "Missed me?"

"Everyday. You sure are a sight for sore eyes. Three damned weeks!"

"Good. I was rather hoping to make an impression on my first visit."

"It worked!" He was starting to work up a sweat already.

His hand wandered over her buttocks to her thigh, hitching up her skirt to caress the silk of her stockings, and the flesh above her stocking top, and then up towards her panties.

"That's not a thong," he mumbled, kissing her slender throat and nibbling on her ear.

"No. French. Split crotch."

"Christ!" Jack wanted her, desperately, up against the wall in his lobby if necessary.

Fingers beneath the panties, he clawed the skin on her butt, taken aback by how erotic this situation was.

"What color?" he croaked.

"Black silk, with a little red and some tasteful lace."

"Wow! Let me atchya, Sam!"

Jack was still wearing his uniform. Sam knew he hadn't been home long. That's why he hadn't met her from the plane. In many ways she was grateful that he hadn't had time to change. Despite a whole life spent amongst them, she still loved a man in a uniform. The only thing missing was the tie, which he had no doubt discarded with disdain as soon as he walked through the door.

"Been home long, Jack?"

"Five minutes."

"Excellent timing."

His hand caressing and clawing the skin under her skirt, and his obvious excitement, was a turn on for Sam. She had achieved the desired effect. She showered his face with kisses and started undoing the buttons of his shirt. Jack had so not considered this happening as soon as she walked in the door, but it looked like it would.

"I'm going to seduce you Jack. I've been looking forward to it."

"Then I wouldn't want to disappoint you," he managed to squeak in his befuddlement.

"Bedroom? You can give me the guided tour later."

"Straight on and take a left."

She took almost total control, stripping him, making him lie on the bed and wait while she took off her own clothing, not allowing him to touch, just watch. She didn't remove all of her cloths and, still wearing her shoes, stockings, panties and bra, joined him on the bed.

Taking charge of their intercourse, her seduction was almost savage, quick and dirty, but extremely sexy and ecstatically fulfilling. Jack recalled long ago when an alien virus had infected her. She'd chosen to mate with him and, had he allowed it to happen that day, he imagined it might have been something like this. Hot and raw.

It was one of the most exciting sexual experiences he'd ever participated in and he would never have believed it of Sam Carter, the much more reticent woman he'd last made love to three weeks previously. How had she lost those inhibitions so quickly?

What did they say about the clothes making the man? In this case her red outfit seemed to have brought out the beast in Sam that must normally lurk within her psyche: smouldering, passionate and erotic – hidden depths. It was joyous. This was going to be an interesting relationship.

Lying wrapped in her arms afterwards, Jack felt a sense of total satisfaction and contentment. He was happy.

"Jeez, Sam, that was pretty unexpected."

Once again, his fingertips caressed the skin on her thigh between her stockings, and her buttocks under her pants.

"Do you think me terribly naughty and wicked now?"

"Naughty and wicked in the best possible way."

"Did you like it?"

"Awesome!"

"I'm so glad. I wanted you to see the passion in me."

"You didn't think I did?"

"I wanted to be sure. You've known me a long time Jack, but mostly in BDUs and uniforms, fighting or experimenting or boring you to tears with my technical explanations. It never gave you the chance to see any passion in me, or any fun or enjoyment."

"Yeah, sure I fell in love with a boring woman."

Jack bit his lip, realising what he had said. 'Fell in love with'? Crap! This was only their second weekend together; way too early. Crappity crap! Sam eyed him but said nothing, and Jack was grateful to her for that, smoothing her hair with his hand, followed by her cheek.

"I think you succeeded by the way," he said.

"In showing you my passion? I think I just scared myself shitless!" Jack sniggered at that. "I missed you so much Jack and I wanted this to be special."

"I missed you Dorothy, although tonight I think you were more Dorothy Lamour than Dorothy of Kansas."

"Dorothy Lamour?"

"Can't think of any other sexy Dorothys."

"So are you Bob or Bing?"

"Bing always gets the girl, doesn't he? So I guess I'm Bing. I got the girl, right?"

"Yes Jack, you well and truly got the girl."

Taking him in her arms for a cuddle, she couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said: "I fell in love…". She knew it had slipped out without him meaning it to, but the confirmation that she was right about him loving her was a tremendous thrill.

She was pretty certain she loved Jack, and had done for a long time, but they probably both needed to get to know each other better in these changed circumstances before they recklessly bandied about such fundamentally committing words. Nevertheless, it was wonderful to know he felt like that.

"I don't normally do that sort of thing, Jack."

"Really?"

"I just wanted you to know that. Y-you provoked that in me; only you," Jack blushed at that comment, flattered beyond words. "To be honest, I felt a little foolish, but warmed to my role."

"Believe you me, you didn't act in the least bit foolish. It was a class act, babe."

"Babe? Just because I played the part of high class hooker does not mean you can call me babe."

"High class hooker?" Jack looked amused, "Not that Sam, you're way too classy - babe." He emphasised that last word.

"Are you going to do that especially to annoy me?"

"Maybe."

"Irksome man!" she slapped him playfully on the arm, "You don't think I came on a bit too strong?"

"I loved every minute of it."

"I just don't want you to think…"

"Sam, I don't think; you know that!"

"Ha, ha, ha."

"And I certainly don't think what you're worried I think. How did you know I'd like it?"

"Find me a man who wouldn't and I'd swear he's gay."

"You're probably right," Jack responded, chuckling. "Thank you Sam. I'm thrilled that you wanted to please me."

"And please me!"

"I thought…"

"I enjoyed it!"

"Taking control of big bad Jack O'Neill?"

"Something like that."

"I should probably feel insulted."

"Insulted? No insult was intended. I mean... The sex was pretty damned hot."

"Yes it was. And don't get so worried about what I'm thinkin' the whole time."

"I guess that I'm still a little nervous Jack, despite what I just did. This is all so new."

"If we can't be us with each other, then what's the point?"

"You're an interesting man, Jack O'Neill."

"Really? I always thought I was pretty dull."

"You certainly aren't that; anything but."

"Yet." His fingers strayed to play with her suspenders and underneath the tops of her stockings. "You look amazing in that outfit, Sam. Hot, real hot. As for this underwear, the stockings, the shoes… man!"

She smiled and he softly touched his lips to hers, and then urged her lips to part and inserted his hot wet tongue, exploring languidly at first and then with increasing passion. Sam felt her insides curling from the kiss and a shiver of desire made her tremble.

This time Jack took control of their lovemaking, and he took it slow. Sam writhed ecstatically beneath his touch, delighting in every move. He was attentive to detail and the whole experience was elating. Afterwards, he held her lovingly in his arms feeling equally elated.

"Crap!" he exclaimed after they had lain there a while, "We only have forty-five minutes to get to the restaurant! Man, am I pleased I booked us a table at a decent restaurant so you can show off that outfit. You are so gonna knock Washington dead."

"Restaurant?"

"Yeah, you know, take you out for dinner, like a real date should."

"Do we have to go out?"

"You don't want to?"

"I'd love to, Jack, but it's just so comfortable here."

"We can stay here tonight and go out tomorrow. So you wanna get pizza and slob around in jogging pants, or something?"

"If you make it Chinese, it would be perfect."

"Chinese it is. I'll show you off at some swanky restaurant tomorrow night."

"That would be great."

"I'll call and cancel the reservation."

"Okay."

"If you ever let me get up, that is." He grinned broadly, kissing her forehead.

"I'll think about that."

"Okay, I'll stay here. What better than to stay here?"

He fidgeted for a while, looking slightly uneasy, and Sam sighed.

"Alright, call the restaurant, for crying out loud!"

"For crying out loud?" he echoed, amused.

"God, I sound just like my old CO!"

"Yeah? What was he like?"

"A royal pain in the mikta."

"I think I might know him," Jack responded with a laugh, "serves me right for fishin'."

Kissing her briefly, he got up and groped for his cell in his uniform pocket, calling the restaurant to cancel the booking. He felt uncomfortable about simply not turning up. Besides, he might never get a table at that restaurant again if he let them down without calling.

So much for that restaurant on this trip. They were always booked solid for at least two weeks in advance, especially at weekends, and he'd had to use some persuasion to get them a reservation for that night. Sam would have to forgo the culinary delights of one of the best restaurants in Washington and make do with something a little more down-market this trip.

Once again, Jack's plan to impress her had failed. It was her who had done the impressing tonight, and Jack didn't mind that one little bit. In fact, he loved it. Besides, slobbing around in casual clothes and eating Chinese take-out almost sounded like his ideal way to spend an evening.

He settled back in the bed, spooning behind her with his arm around her body, and they dozed for a while, replete after their exertions. By the time Jack called for the Chinese, it was already starting to get late.

"Ummm, this is delicious!" Sam exclaimed as she munched on a salt and pepper spare rib.

"One thing you can guarantee; Jack O'Neill is good at is finding the best take-outs."

"That's not all he's good at." She eyed him mischievously and he blushed.

"Gee, thanks Dorothy," he smiled.

"You're welcome." She sighed, "I like this. Relaxing, not having to behave in the way you do when you're in a restaurant, slobbing around in a pair of your track suit bottoms. Maybe I should dress more casually tomorrow night."

"No way! You have to wear that outfit out for dinner tomorrow night, Sam. It's only right; for the sake of humanity. You can't waste it just on little old me."

"For the sake of humanity, my eye. For the sake of Jack O'Neill's ego and image more like."

"Well, there's that too," he grinned.

"So if I'm wearing that, what are you wearing? Jeans and a t-shirt just won't cut it Mr Scarecrow."

"A suit of course, Dorothy, what else?"

"An honest to goodness suit that isn't a uniform?"

"Sure."

"You have one of those?" she mocked, with a glint of amusement in her eyes.

"Ouch! What did you think I planned to wear tonight?" Sam eyed him appraisingly.

"Okay, it's a deal," She agreed, "I'll wear the outfit and you can take me somewhere swanky. It'll be worth it to see Jack O'Neill in a civilian suit. I'm betting you look hot."

"In a suit?"

"Yeah."

"If that's what you end up thinking I'll wear one more often."

"You can have too much of a good thing," she laughed.

"Can you indeed? That's not what I heard." He winked and then his fingers brushed her cheek. "I'm not sure I'll ever get too much of you."

"Oh, you'll be pleased to see the back of me by the time I leave."

"I doubt that very much. This feels good, Sam. You and me, like this."

"Cosy and domestic?"

"Yeah."

"I so agree," she sighed, still in awe of how comfortable they were together so quickly. "It feels so right."

"I'm falling in love with you Sam, if I'm not there already," he confessed, taking her by surprise.

"God, I…"

She had never believed he would deliberately say something like that so soon. Jack was full of surprises and, as they were positive ones, it pleased her, but she was speechless.

"Is this all going too fast for you?" Jack bit his bottom lip nervously.

"N-no. Actually no." She laughed, happily "And that surprises me as much as what you just said."

"It surprises you I feel like that?"

"No, it thrills me. I want you to feel like that. I feel like that too." He visibly relaxed at those words, "I just didn't expect you to say something like that so soon."

"I've come to the conclusion we've wasted enough time already. And we have so little of it to spend with each other, Sam. Come Sunday night, you'll be gone and God knows how long before we see each other again. But let's not dwell on that, huh? We need to make the most of what time we have."

"In fact I don't go back until Monday morning."

"Monday?"

"I arranged a meeting at the Pentagon for Monday. We can travel in together."

"You crafty… Monday… that's a whole extra night together. Sam, that's great, really great. God, I love a woman with a brain, and you got one hell of a big one."

"There's something vaguely insulting in that remark."

"I assure you it wasn't intended to be. I didn't mean you're an egg-head or anything, although you… are… actually," Sam giggled appreciatively, but Jack was considering her earlier words, "So, it surprises you that you don't think things are going too fast?"

"Yeah, I'm kind of funny about stuff like that, generally speaking, but not with you Jack."

"That's because we've waited for years."

"Yeah, maybe."

She recalled constantly thinking that things had moved too fast with Pete. He had steamrollered his way into and through her life and she hadn't always felt comfortable about it, even though she'd played along. With Jack she felt very differently.

They finished their Chinese in silence, glancing at each other occasionally, surprisingly shyly given their earlier activities and conversation. Jack was wondering how long he should wait before asking her to marry him and shocked himself with such thoughts so early on in their supposedly fledgling relationship.

The problem was that, to him, it didn't feel like a fledging relationship at all. Not that this was really a problem. Everything about it just seemed so right. Even so, it was way too soon to be thinking about such a permanent commitment, so he said nothing and told himself to be patient; not necessarily one of his best qualities.

"I've got something to show you," he said, taking her by the hand. "Come."

He put a coat around her shoulders and led her out into the hallway of the apartment block. Jack's apartment was at the top of the building and he took her towards the stairs, and up them.

"The roof?" she queried.

"Yeah, the roof."

He unlocked the door to the roof and took her outside.

"Oh! Nice view over that way!" she pointed with a huge smile.

"Yep. As I'm at the top, this is my private sanctum. I'm the only tenant with a key. The super likes me."

"Who wouldn't?" she grinned, squeezing his hand.

"Oh, I can think of plenty of folks. Here."

"A telescope? You brought it with you?"

"No. I treated myself to a new one. We're in a big city and there's too much light pollution so you can't see as well as you might, but it's enough. Take a look." She peered through the telescope where he had set it up and Jack stood behind her, holding her around the waist.

"Jupiter! Beautiful, Jack."

"Isn't it? I hoped you'd like it. It's pretty clear at this time of year. I know we saw a lot of planets and starry-skies over the years, Sam, but I still love watching what happens in my own backyard."

"It's a beautiful starry night, Jack. Can we stay for a while?"

"Warm enough?"

"Keep holding me and I will be."

"That I can happily do." He gave her a gentle squeeze, spinning her round to face him for a kiss. "What I said earlier about falling in love with you… it was a little white lie. I am in love with you, Sam, deeply. I've known that for a long time."

"Oh, Jack! I love you so much."

"I sure am glad about that." He held her face in his hands, rubbing her cheeks softly with his thumbs, and then pulled her into a hug. "Let's watch the stars Dorothy."

"You really are a romantic at heart, aren't you, Mr Scarecrow?"

"Sometimes. I want to be when I'm with you."

Holding each other, they silently gazed up at the stars and Jack was a very happy man because he realised that that he'd never be alone anymore. This was turning out to be one of the best weekends ever!


	6. Never Alone: Dancing Cheek to Cheek

Title: Never Alone: Dancing Cheek to Cheek

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Romance

Content Level: 13+. There is an Adult Only version of this story on my site at the above address.

Content Warnings: Contains use of mild language and sexual situations

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: Solitudes, Beneath the Surface, General S9 spoilers

Summary: Jack could get used to waking up with Sam in his arms.

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone: Washington DC

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 71 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: Thanks to all of you who have enjoyed this, fed back and asked for more. Once again this story fulfils the weekly fic challenge on the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo Group, which was to incorporate the line "don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference." and/or the word 'pollute' into a drabble or fic. This does both. This fic has not been beta read so please forgive any errors that might have crept in as a result of my own inattention.

**Never Alone: Dancing Cheek to Cheek **

The feel of her silky skin under his hand, the scent of her hair in his nostrils, watching her awaken, her big blue eyes meeting his dark brown ones with a smile: waking up next to Sam in the morning was something Jack O'Neill could get very used to. Although this was only the second morning they had awoken in each other's arms, it was both cosy and exciting as if they had been doing it for years, but at the same time as if they were new to it, which they were: a curious and exhilarating mix of emotions.

He watched her explore his kitchen, working out where he stored everything and assessing his food supplies.

"No great Jewish bakeries up the road Jack?" she asked with a smile.

"It's Saturday," he replied, "we will have to live without Jewish bakers. There is a great place nearby where I could buy you breakfast. Wanna eat out?"

"It's either that or a mouldy piece of cheese, three bars of chocolate and a couple of very dodgy looking tomatoes. Oh, and beer, of course. Don't you ever do any shopping, Jack?"

"Sure, I just haven't done any lately, is all."

"How lately is lately?" she frowned.

"Well, you know, they keep us busy at the Pentagon; paperwork, paperwork and more damned paperwork. And did I happen to mention the paperwork?" he chuckled.

Getting up, he grabbed Sam and pulled her towards him. Their foreheads touched, their noses met at the tip, and Jack tilted his head a little and softly kissed her lips.

"When did I get so lucky, Sam?" he asked, and then hugged her tightly.

"Lucky? I don't know about you but I think I got lucky the day I first walked into the briefing room at the SGC."

"Yeah, that was kind of a memorable day."

"When I was young and naive…"

"And I was already old and cynical."

Sam laughed and cupped his face with her hands, returning his soft sweet kiss with one of her own.

"I like this, Sam, I like it a lot," he declared.

"Like what?"

"This!" he pulled away and gesticulated wildly with his arms, "You in my kitchen in the morning, in my bed, in my arms."

"I like it a lot too."

"Well that's why I'm so lucky," he grinned, biting her neck, "I could eat you all up right now, Sam."

"You can eat me any time you like, mister," she replied with a twinkle in her eye.

"Don't tempt me. Later. First, real sustenance; breakfast. Got to keep our energy up. We've got two more nights." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Sam grinned.

"And days."

"Oh yeah, mustn't forget those days."

While munching their way through pancakes for breakfast, Jack asked what Sam wanted to do with those two days.

"I don't really mind. I'm here to see you, not Washington. I used to live here, remember?"

"So any favourite haunts you want to revisit?"

"What do you do, Jack? I want to know what you do, where you go at weekends, how you spend your time."

"Sometimes I do stuff, I even get out of the City, but often I do absolutely nothing."

"So how well have you explored Washington?"

"I know where all the important stuff is. I've walked around a lot."

"Ever been to Anacostia Park? Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens?" she asked, and Jack shook his head.

"The aquatic park is best in summer because the water lilies are in bloom, but I so love it in early fall, when everything is turning brown and red and all shades in between."

"We'll go there then, if you like. You can show me around."

"It's a huge park."

"Then you can show me the bits you like. So that's settled?" he asked and she nodded. "Okay. Sam, ummm…" he scrunched up his face as if uncertain about what he was going to say next, "there's a 'thing' tomorrow night with a few officers, wives, yadda. General Fox's 'thing'. Wanna go?"

"General Fox? I know him. He was a friend of my dad's. You want to go to a 'thing'? That doesn't sound like you Jack."

"Never was much for 'things' I know, but when in Washington… Sometimes it's more politic to go than to stay away. I said I was probably going, but I didn't know you would be here."

"And it gives you a chance to show me off?"

"I never said that."

"But you think it, don't you?"

"Might." He tried to look chastened.

"We'll go."

"And you can wear that sexy red number," he sighed dreamily, making Sam smile.

"I can't wear that to go everywhere, Jack."

"Well you can't have that much with you in that little bag."

"You'd be surprised."

They chatted amiably for a while until Jack fell silent, his mind seemingly elsewhere. Sam watched him for a while, obviously struggling with his thoughts.

"Are you okay Jack?" she asked eventually, and he didn't respond, "Jack?"

"W-what?" he responded, jerked away from whatever had been preoccupying him.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Sam, I was just thinking about work; a meeting I had yesterday."

"Work? Problem?"

"Sometimes I think I'm surrounded by idiots."

"You work at the Pentagon, maybe you are." She smiled and Jack chuckled. "Wanna talk about it?"

"I think I probably pissed a couple of people off."

"Really? Now there's a surprise."

"Sam!"

"Jack you can be a little… tactless sometimes."

"Yeah well," he sighed and shrugged, "Sometimes I just can't help myself. I'm trying to mend my ways and be more diplomatic, but the one thing I hate about this place is the 'politics' and I'm surrounded by it."

"Who did you piss off?"

"General Mike Grafton, know him?"

"Don't think so."

"He thinks he so smart and… he isn't. He's one of these guys who thinks the stargate programme is a crock, and doesn't know what he's talking about. You know the type: Kinsey with stars on his uniform. I think he's invited tomorrow, which is why I got to thinkin'. Hope he doesn't spoil the party."

"What happened?"

"We had an argument, go figure! Money, resources, the usual crap. He got snarky with Colonel Hamilton, who generally takes his side on everything and this time didn't on one particular point. Hamilton's another one of those idiots who thinks he's bright; think Samuels, remember him?" Sam nodded and frowned, "So they were wasting everyone's time and getting on my nerves. I don't like either of 'em and you know how I don't suffer fools gladly. Sam.

"So I lost my cool and raised my voice to Hamilton and said something like "don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference." Both of them are so dumb it took a while for them to figure out what it meant. I don't think either of 'em appreciated me calling them idiots. If looks could kill I wouldn't have lived through the day. It didn't help that everyone else in the room laughed. Gee, I sure am good at making enemies."

Sam was laughing and Jack couldn't help but smile in the face of that.

"I love that. Must remember that," she chuckled.

"There are some things you should never pick up from your old CO, Sam. My consummate tact and diplomacy is one of them." He smiled ruefully.

"I can think of worse people to emulate."

"I guess that's kind of flattering," he smiled and squeezed her hand gratefully "but instead of keeping them divided I united them to a common cause. The 'get Jack O'Neill' campaign. Not clever, Sam. In fact, very dumb."

"I guess so. He'll be at this shindig tomorrow? Maybe I can smooth a few of his ruffled feathers. I can try."

"Don't waste your time."

"Isn't that what the wives try to do all the time? I'm your wife proxy for tomorrow, aren't I?"

"Sam…" he tailed off, looking at her mutely and Sam suddenly felt very uncomfortable, wondering whether she had said the wrong thing. She didn't want Jack to think she was hinting at anything, trying to push him into anything. Crap!

'Wife proxy?' she thought, 'Sam, what are you saying? What the hell is Jack going to think?'

"I-I didn't mean…" she stumbled, "Um, let's change the subject, huh? A long walk in the park will do you good, clear those cobwebs."

Jack chose to let her change the subject and made no comment about her 'wife proxy' remark. He was wondering how she would react if he asked her to marry him right there and then. Deep in his heart he knew that was what he wanted, but in the long run, not after a couple of weekends and a few phone calls building this relationship; not even full weekends yet. This was all still too new and way too soon to even be thinking along those lines.

Would she be shocked and dismayed if she knew that's what he was thinking? He realised that he'd shocked himself too with those thoughts.

'Just pretend she never said that, Jack.' he told himself, 'she feels uncomfortable now; she didn't mean anything by it. Too soon, old buddy, too soon.'

"You'd have thought those cobwebs would have cleared the moment I opened the door to my apartment and saw you." he smiled, "Sorry to get onto the work track. Tomorrow night is soon enough for that. Too soon. You're right, let's get going."

They spent a good part of the day at the park and Jack could see the appeal. Anacostia Park was a huge sprawl that spread along the Anacostia River, boasting a golf course and many other recreational activities, but Sam zeroed in on the still large, but much smaller, Kenilworth Aquatic Park, which lay within Anacostia's sprawling confines.

The Aquatic Park took up huge acres with ponds and tidal marsh, and boasted a few greenhouses too. Sam determined that she should bring Jack here in the summer to see the water lilies at their best, and try to catch sight of some of the wildlife, like the blue heron. She was pleased that Jack seemed suitably impressed with what he saw in early fall.

"I sure hope no one ever does anything to pollute this place," Sam said at one point. "It's the only national park of its kind in the country. I hate to think of anything destroying it. I so love it here."

"It's seems that none of the hot air floating over the river from Capitol Hill has harmed it yet, Sam," Jack quipped and she laughed.

"I guess if that doesn't do it, nothing will," she responded with a smile.

By now it was late afternoon and they had already seen many of Sam's favourite spots. Sam had noticed Jack was beginning to get too distracted by looking at her to take in more of their surroundings and was flattered. Taking her hand, he turned to face her and stroked her hair, looking into her eyes.

"Wanna go home Dorothy?"

"I'm fresh out of red slippers," she replied with a smile.

"Well, I guess we'll have to find alternative means of transport. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep my hands off of you."

"Oh! So you want to have your wicked way with me, is that what you're saying?"

"Yeahsureyabetchya!"

Jack's hand wandered up the outside of her thigh, over her buttocks and up to her waist and she saw his eyes darkening with unfulfilled lust, which served to spark hers.

"In that case, Mr Scarecrow, let's go."

They made it back to his apartment with almost unseemly haste and when the door closed behind them Jack pushed her against the wall of his lobby, kissing her passionately, one hand massaging a breast.

"Are you desperate, Mr Scarecrow?"

"Damned right, Dorothy!"

He manoeuvred her towards the bedroom, every step a part of his seduction. Sam was thinking that he sure knew what to do with his hands, even when she was fully clothed, and his lips were pure torture.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see the light blinking on his answer phone and pulled himself up short. Crap! He figured he should listen to any messages, just in case there had been some sort of crisis he needed to deal with. If so, he was going to be so pissed. Instructing Sam to wait in the bedroom he picked up the message. Then Sam heard him talking briefly to someone and shortly afterwards he came in.

"A problem, Jack?"

"No. It was the restaurant we were meant to go to last night. The maitre de was so impressed with my reasons for not making it for our reservation that he called and told me we could have a table tonight. They had a cancellation."

"So impressed with your reasons? What reasons?"

"That my beautiful, sexy girlfriend seduced me as soon as she walked in the door of my apartment."

"What? Jack! Oh my god, Jack, I can't go to that restaurant. How can I look him in the eye? Aren't these guys normally kind of snooty? Isn't all this a bit odd?" She looked at him part in terror and part in puzzlement.

"Oh, did I forget to mention we served together in… well somewhere," he smiled.

"He's ex-special forces? You didn't really tell him that did you?"

"Sam, of course not. You heard me cancel the reservation. Did you hear me tell him that?"

"You-you… oh! Why are men so infuriating?" she turned her face away with feigned petulance and Jack grabbed her, pulling her up from the bed and against him, kissing her shoulder and starting to undo the buttons on her blouse.

"They really do have a cancellation. He moved us up the waiting list. Way up the list. It's good to have friends in high places."

"Like one of the swankiest restaurants in Washington DC?"

"Right. So you are going to dress up aren't you?"

Buttons undone, he kissed her neck and trailed his lips over her breastbone.

"Of course I'm going to dress up"

"In your sexy red number?"

"Now that would be telling. A woman should keep a man guessing."

"She should? That's just plain annoying," he joked. "Now where were we?" he grinned, pulling off her blouse and removing her bra and then pushing her onto the bed and joining her there.

"Have we got time for this?" Sam gasped.

"There is always time for this. We've got hours."

His lovemaking was teasingly slow and gentle, working Sam into a fervour, which would mark his back as hers for days and, with no let up in his attentions, he satisfied Sam's desires twice over before allowing himself to find his own peace.

"Oh god, Jack," she panted breathlessly, "no man's ever done that, I mean… that was… awesome."

She pulled him into an embrace, squeezing him gently and idly caressing his back with her fingertips. Sam could feel some scratches and welts from her earlier frenzy and felt slightly embarrassed by that uninhibited display of lust.

Cursing herself for a fool, she told herself to get used to it, which she happily could, and just let herself be her with Jack. He wanted her, yearned for her, and loved her. What more could she ask than that?

This was the first real and true thing that had happened to her for years, maybe ever, and she had to let go of Colonel Samantha Carter and simply become his Sam. This was new to both of them and they were still feeling their way with each other, despite the fact that it felt like they had been in this relationship forever.

Maybe that was because of their mutual history, but she also hoped it was despite it.

Her thoughts suddenly wandered back to when they had been Jonah and Thera, trapped on an ice planet without their knowledge. They had come so close to making love back then and she had cursed that they hadn't many times. Now she was glad they had waited because if they had done more than kiss and hug back then, maybe this wouldn't have been possible now.

She imagined how they might have reacted to each other after they once again became Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill in those circumstances. It had been difficult enough to let go of what Jonah and Thera had shared.

They might never have been able to meet each other's eyes again, or flirt a little, or exchange secret knowing looks and smiles. Anything could have happened and they might have drifted apart from embarrassment. Far better that they had waited until they could be Jack and Sam and Mr Scarecrow and Dorothy, even if neither had realised it way back then.

"I love you Jonah," she muttered and Jack started.

"Jonah?"

"Did I say Jonah? I-I was just remembering."

"Yeah, there's definitely an upside to being stuck on any ice planet with you, Sam."

"Oh, don't remind me of that first time. That was so not any fun, and finding out we were actually in Antarctica? It really pissed me off that I hadn't even considered we could be on Earth."

"You saved me that first time, Sam."

"No I didn't. I couldn't save you that first time, however much I really wanted to."

"I remember you lying beside me, pretending you were Sara, giving me the warmth of your body, ready to die with me. I thought it was all a dream, and only later realised that it wasn't. That saved me."

"Do you ever see Sara?" she asked curiously, giving him a squeeze in appreciation of his words..

"Rarely. She got remarried."

"You never told me that."

"Maybe one day I'll do that too," he said, searching her eyes and sensing no fear at the notion, he smiled. Maybe the idea didn't freak her out as much as he had imagined it might earlier that day. "They adopted a little boy."

"Is she happy?"

"I hope so because I know I am."

"I'm glad I make you happy, Jack, because you make me happy too. Ecstatically happy."

He settled down to cuddle her, softly kissing her cheek with great affection.

"I love you too, Thera," he whispered, and Sam smiled, giving him another gentle squeeze of acknowledgement.

Although Jack would have liked to lie there quietly dozing with Sam in his arms, he was conscious that he had that reservation. Looking at his watch he realised they had plenty of time, but he didn't want the same thing to happen tonight as had happened the previous night. He wanted to take his beautiful, sexy Sam out for a night on the town. Their love had smouldered quietly in the shadows for too many years and he wanted the world to know that they had found each other at last.

Basking in the emotions her embrace invoked, Jack was almost disbelieving of the sublime contentment he felt at this moment, and didn't want to spoil it with that disbelief. This was real, so very real, and he couldn't have been happier.

"Think we ought to make a move to get ready?" he asked.

"I guess. Want to take a shower together, Jack?"

"Together? Yes, I'd that very much."

Once the hot water was beating against them, Jack felt some excitement mounting inside of him again. This was one of his fantasies and he wanted to fulfil it. He captured Sam with a kiss while lathering his hands with shower gel and then started to wash her, slowly and sensually, pausing to caress those places that start most women on their way towards rapture.

"Again Jack?" Sam asked with some surprise.

"I'm not too old to have lost my touch yet, Sam, so take advantage while you can."

So she responded with vigour, happy to play this sexual game, and returning his caresses with her own. This time Jack's lovemaking was hardly that at all, but a desperate and frantic assault, which was both agonising and ecstatic, leaving them breathless and exhausted.

They left the confines of the shower and he handed her a gigantic fluffy towel, taking one for himself, but watching her dry herself before even attempting to do the same.

"If we get ready now we'll still make it in time for dinner," he said, breaking the silence. "Are you okay? I think I might have got a little carried away."

"A little sore, but I'm fine, Jack, and the sex was fine too."

"So you enjoy it a bit rough?"

"I do now." Her smile lit his heart.

"I'm sore too," he admitted, "hope we're still up to some dancing."

"Dancing?"

"Oh, didn't I mention it?"

"Umm, no Jack, you didn't happen to."

"This place we're going, it has a dance floor."

"Dancing? I'd like that."

"Thought you would. I'll get ready and then leave you to spend whatever hours you need to do the same, okay?"

"I don't take hours… well only sometimes. We haven't got time right now but I'll do my best."

While Jack got dressed she dried her hair and started to put on her make up. When he appeared in the doorway she did a double take and Jack smiled at her reaction.

"Like?" he asked.

She stared, looking him over appraisingly. He wore a dark grey suit, blue shirt and contrasting grey tie, his black shoes shined to armed forces perfection.

"I knew you'd look hot in a suit Jack, and I was right. Very hot!" she smiled, squeezing by him in the doorway and planting a kiss on his lips, "My turn to get ready. No peeking."

He slapped her butt playfully as she passed, still wearing the towel he had given her earlier, and with her make up only half completed. When he saw her next, Jack was surprised that she wasn't wearing her red suit and stared at her open mouthed yet again. Her black, strapless, above the knee length cocktail dress hugged her body closely, showing every curve to its best advantage. Once again she wore black stockings, this time with no seams, and her shoes were high, sexy, black shiny leather. He whistled appreciatively.

"Like?" she asked, mimicking him almost flawlessly.

"Oh yeah!" he grinned. "Perfection." She returned his grin, pleased at the affect her appearance had on him.

"How we getting there? Driving?" she asked.

"No. I've booked a cab. Then we can do what the hell we like and not worry about driving."

"Planning to get drunk, Jack?"

"No, but definitely planning to drink."

The restaurant was large, but still managed to have an intimate air about it. The maitre de welcomed Jack warmly, shaking his hand vigorously.

"It's good to see you Jack. Been a while. You'll have to slip over one night and have a few games of poker with the guys."

"I'd like that Jimmy. This is Sam. Sam meet Jimmy."

She smiled brightly, taking his hand in a firm grasp, and Jimmy immediately fell under her spell.

"Your table is waiting right this way, General O'Neill, Colonel Carter," Jimmy said more loudly, for the sake of the punters, and he was suddenly a different man: the maitre de of one of the best dining establishments in Washington DC.

When Sam perused the menu her eyes opened in shock and she looked up at Jack.

"If you suck the fun out of this, Sam, I'll be one very unhappy camper," he said before she could say anything. "Don't even think about the cost, okay. We're here to have a good time." She nodded a response and turned back to the menu.

Jack ordered Champagne, which gave her pause again as she had noticed how expensive it was. He was really pushing the boat out, but she guessed that a two star General could afford such a thing occasionally, maybe even more than occasionally. If he was trying to impress her, he was succeeding.

For Jack's part, he was happy that he was managing to impress her at last, just as he had wanted to from the very beginning. He knew she would be happy with much less, which only made him want to give her more.

"So tell me about Jimmy," she said as they waited for their order to arrive.

"Jimmy? He doesn't look like he was in special ops, does he?"

"Not really. He seems the perfect maitre de."

"Jimmy could be good at whatever he sets his mind to, and he saved my sorry ass on more than one occasion when we were out there."

"Out where?"

"Don't ask."

"Hush, hush stuff?"

"If I told you I'd have to kill you stuff."

Sam nodded, contemplating this man who sat in front of her and how little she knew about a past that was obviously murky, if not dark, in places. She had seen aspects of that murkiness raise its head when she and Jack had worked together, but figured she hadn't seen the half of it and probably never would. Deciding she didn't care what Jack had got up to in the shadowy recesses of special ops, that all that mattered was now, she shifted those thoughts to one side.

When the champagne arrived, he proposed a toast to the future, taking her hand in his as they drank. She squeezed that hand and smiled at him, conveying her love through their eye contact. Jack's heart hammered with joy that he seemed to have captured her heart so entirely and so quickly.

This might be early days and he knew that the first flush of love would eventually wear thin, but believed they were close enough to deal with that when it eventually came: friends, companions, lovers, maybe even soul mates. It didn't have to be huge honkin' and heart stopping the whole time. In fact his health might be better if it wasn't. Nevertheless, this heart stopping part was a true wonder and he totally immersed himself in it, wanting to soak it up as much as he could. It made him feel good, and very special.

The dinner was superb, one of the best things ever to delight Sam's taste buds, and she behaved in her best lady like fashion as she ate, not wanting to do anything that might embarrass her partner. Jack also behaved in his most gentlemanly way, belying the person who had so unceremoniously seduced her earlier in the shower, if you could call such a thing a seduction, more like an assault on her person; a totally enthralling and wonderful assault.

Jack was a fascinating, complicated and, frequently puzzling, man, she thought, someone who she would never have imagined being at home in a place like this, although he pulled it off with perfect aplomb, as if he belonged to eating in fancy restaurants. He was certainly full of surprises.

When she went to powder her nose, Jimmy approached, ostensibly to ask General O'Neill if everything was satisfactory. The usual business out of the way, he spoke quietly to Jack.

"That is one hell of a looker you've got there, Jack."

"Oh, she is one hell of a lot more than just a looker."

"I'll bet she is."

"Eyes off, and hands even further off, Jimmy."

"Can't hurt a guy to look, can it?"

"In your case, yes, if I recall correctly." They exchanged a laugh remembering different times.

"The way she's been looking at you, I doubt any man could prize her away, not even me." Jimmy was renowned for his abilities to attract and bed women. This area of expertise had been the butt of many a joke in the old days.

"Ya think?" Jack said.

"I know, you lucky sap. So when you gonna marry her Jack?"

"Marry her? What makes you think I am?"

"The way you look at her."

"Really? Is it that obvious? Crap!"

"Why does that bother you? She adores you."

"We've only been together for a few weeks."

"Could have fooled me. I'd never have guessed it."

"Well, we've know each other for years. I was her CO once, for a long time."

Jimmy eyebrows rose up in surprise.

"And you've only been together for a few weeks? How the hell did you keep your hands off her Jack?"

"With great difficulty, sometimes, believe me!"

"Good catch, my friend, although I can't help but wonder whether it's the same for her," Jimmy quipped.

"Huh! You and me both, old buddy."

"Jack, my man, you look perfect together. Take it from a man who knows a thing or two." Jimmy winked.

"So exactly how many of the women in this room have ended up in your bed, Jimmy?" Jack asked, amused. Jimmy eyed his surroundings with a smile.

"Way too many, and most of them are here with their husbands."

"So some things haven't changed."

"That will never change, Jack. I can't help myself."

"Don't I know it."

"Your Sara was always safe. I would never have done that to you, and she wouldn't either."

"Well, that's good to know," Jack smiled.

Sam came back and Jimmy smoothly pulled out her chair and sat her down, bowed slightly and left them alone.

"Having a little chat with your old friend, Jack?"

"Yeah. He's impressed that an old has-been like me can attract a beautiful woman like you."

"Is he now? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately, Jack?"

"Every day."

"You just don't know how totally gorgeous you are. Simply scrumptious."

"Scrumptious? Does that mean you could eat me all up too?" he chuckled.

"Most definitely."

"I'll be taking you up on that Sam Carter. In the meantime, would you settle for a dance?"

The band had played soft background music earlier and was now back on the stage again. Having deliberately picked a late slot for the original reservation, and Jimmy having wangled him one at the same time tonight, the time for dancing had come. Sam eyed the small dance floor, a few couples already up on it, and smiled.

"I'd love to dance, Jack."

They glided over the floor, cheek to cheek, Jack holding her close and aware he was dancing with the most beautiful woman in the room. A lot of eyes were turned their way and he was proud of that fact.

"People are looking Jack," Sam whispered.

"And why wouldn't they? Great isn't it?"

"You really do want to show me off."

"Absolutely."

He moved his head to look at her and then rested his forehead on hers, dancing nose to nose, eye to eye.

"I'm proud of my beautiful Sam," he declared. "All those years of hiding my feelings and now I don't have to anymore."

"That's nice," she replied, kissing his cheek softly, "and this is very, very nice. I want to dance with you all night."

"That would be an honor."

"Are you still sore?" she asked.

"A little," he spotted the wicked gleam in her eyes. "Got plans to aggravate the matter Sam?"

"Mmmm… maybe. I said you looked hot in that suit. Can't get enough of you, General Jack O'Neill."

"Sweet! I hope I'm up to it."

"By the time we get home you will be."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" he asked as he spun her in his arms.

"Both."

Jack smiled, placing his cheek next to hers again, dizzy with delight, and love for the woman he was dancing with.

"I can't get enough of you either, Colonel Samantha Carter, and I never will."


	7. Never Alone: The Gathering

Title: Never Alone: The Gathering

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: References to sex and use of mild language

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: General for S9

Summary: Sam accompanies Jack to his obligatory social event in Washington determined that he should be making friends and influencing people rather than making more enemies.

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone: Dancing Cheek to Cheek

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 79 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: This week's fic challenge on the As the Stargate Turns Yahoo Group asked for drabbles / fics using the line 'A Walk In The Park' and/or the word 'firefly'. Once again, I have "cunningly" managed to use both in this story. Thanks to all you wonderful feed backers for encouraging me to write more parts in this series. Keep it coming, my friends. Feedback warms the soul and feeds the muse.

**Never Alone: The Gathering **

Sam was adding the finishing touches to her make up and regarded herself critically. It was fine for Jack to say she should wear the red suit to this gathering of some of the Pentagon great and good, but the same look she wore when arriving at Jack's door with the intention of seducing him was simply not right for the occasion. It all came down to accessories. If you accessorize things right, then you can produce something totally different.

Jack was surprised when he saw her looking so utterly dissimilar in essentially the same thing. The suit and shoes were the same but there the similarity ended. Her stockings were natural instead of black, and very much missing the seam, and her blouse was white with no sign of transparency. There was no hat, no gloves and her make up and lipstick were subdued. She had removed the red nails and they looked pretty much as they normally did. This was a different Sam Carter, a much more demure creature, but Jack still found her alluring, and maybe even more so than her previous incarnation in this outfit.

"Suitable for officers and wives, Jack?" she asked as she twirled to give him an all round perspective.

"I can't believe it."

"Miss the starlet, high class hooker look?"

"You never looked like a hooker, high class or otherwise, but yeah, I miss it," he grinned, "but, you look perfect for the occasion, and you're still damned sexy, just in a more subtle way."

"And more appropriate."

"I guess." Jack smiled, rising to kiss her and pull her into his arms. "The cunningness of women is never endingly awesome. You look like a different person, Sam. But you'll still steal the show."

Sam smiled and blushed, stepping back to take a look at Jack. He was wearing dress blues and she always thought he looked pretty much a hunk in those, although, actually, she believed he looked a hunk in almost anything.

"Are you sure you're expected to wear uniform? If everyone else is, I'm going to feel a little strange without mine."

"I checked about the uniform." Jack could see she was genuinely concerned, "Sam, you aren't going as an officer, you're going as my… partner. What was it you said? Proxy wife? You look like the perfect proxy wife."

"I have got my uniform with me. After all, I've got a meeting at the Pentagon tomorrow morning. You think it'll be alright wearing this?"

"Sure. You'll knock 'em, dead."

"Which is what you want me to do, isn't it?"

"Wouldn't hurt my reputation," he grinned.

"And you say women are cunning."

"Hey, I didn't even know you'd be coming. I thought you would be on your way back to Colorado and I'd be stuck at this thing on my own, feeling a little left out, although I might not be the only single guy there, I guess." Jack was thrilled that he would not be alone, as he had expected. He might even enjoy it with Sam there.

"So this is a perk?" she joked, raising her eyebrows mockingly.

"Definitely, Sam. I've got you for one whole extra night and that is a pretty great perk. I just wish we didn't have to waste it by going to this damned thing, but I get the feeling that, with all this crap about money and resources, going will help Homeworld Security and staying away might not."

"Politicking. Jack O'Neill politicking is something I must see."

"Yeah well, kick me if I appear to be going to put my foot in my mouth."

"Daniel's the diplomat, remember? Not me."

"Not many people could be worse than me Sam, although I'm learning – the hard way sometimes."

"Admittedly, that might be something I'm better at than you."

"That and hundreds of other things. You're the genius."

"Contrary to popular opinion, I can't walk on water."

"You can't? Didn't look that way to me when we were in the shower," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Don't even go there, Jack O'Neill. We haven't got time."

"Yeah, a time machine might be pretty good right about now."

"Umm, hands off Mr Scarecrow," she slapped him playfully as he began to move his hands over her buttocks.

"Aw gee, Dorothy, you spoil all my fun," he pouted and leaned in to kiss her. Sam grumbled good-naturedly about him messing up her lipstick and went to put more on. Two minutes later they left the house.

Sam swallowed her little pang of fear as she looked at the impressive old building they were about to enter.

"What is this place, Jack?"

"A club; one of those relatively exclusive things. Great old building, isn't it?"

"Impressive, and a little bit scary."

"Hey," he smiled comfortingly and smoothed her chin with his thumb, "it'll be okay, Sam. You'll be fine. It's me I'm worried about - Mr tact and diplomacy."

"Have you been here before?"

"A couple of times, but not to a private thing like this, just to meet a member for a drink."

"You mix in these circles?"

"Sometimes. Not really me, is it?"

"Me neither."

"It's Washington. Go figure!" he laughed and Sam joined in, relieving the tension a little. She had a knot in her stomach, the fear of doing something stupid and making Jack look a fool in front of people who might be important to him, and the whole programme. Her own career flashed in front of her eyes, and she wasn't too happy about doing anything that might screw with that either.

"Okay, let's do this thing," Jack declared, "Sam, you'll do great. It's a walk in the park," he added, kissing her and squeezing her hand for encouragement, and then leading her up the steps and into the grand entrance.

'Walk in the park? If you say so Jack,' she thought, taking a deep breath and hoping she could pull this thing off.

They were shown to a large room that was awe inspiring in size and décor, and Sam tried not to let that awe show on her face. She was military. She could do impassive – she hoped. Jack was proud to have Sam on his arm as they entered and eyes turned to see who had arrived. He could almost see the cogs whirring as the gathering of people appraised them.

"Jack! Glad you made it," a voice boomed, and General Fox walked over to greet them. "Colonel Samantha Carter, I was happy to hear you were coming, although I can't imagine what you're doing with this old reprobate. She's way too good for you Jack."

"Don't I know it, sir!"

"General Fox, sir, how are you?" Sam asked.

"Great Sam. I was so sorry to hear about your father."

"I know. Thanks for your condolences. They were appreciated."

General Fox and his wife had written her a wonderful letter of condolence after her father died and Sam had been grateful as the pair were old family friends. They had been pretty close once upon a time.

"A good man."

"Yes."

"You knew him Jack?" Fox asked.

"I had that privilege, yes sir."

"I wonder what he would have thought about you and his little girl?"

"I think he would have liked it just fine, sir," Sam leapt in hastily; uncertain if this meant that Fox didn't approve.

"I think so too." Fox smiled at Sam, and then at Jack, who was taken aback by that comment.

"Umm, thank you sir," said Jack.

"Come let me introduce you to my wife. Sam, of course you have met Gladys already, many times."

"Samantha, you look stunning, my dear. I'm so happy to meet you at last, General O'Neill," said Gladys Fox, a slim and attractive woman with soft, greying auburn hair, and bright, warm, friendly eyes and smile. "It has to be said that you have brought the most beautiful woman in the room, General." She added with a low voice so that no one else felt insulted. Jack got the impression that she was genuine and that made him feel all the prouder.

"Thank you ma'am. She is beautiful, isn't she? And I so love a woman with brains." Jack smiled winningly and looked at Sam with such adoration that Gladys could see Sam wasn't merely a woman he had asked to accompany him for the occasion, but someone special to him. That made her heart skip a beat; she so loved a good romance.

Gladys had always liked Sam Carter, and her father, and was pleased to see this sophisticated young woman who stood in front of her. There were no signs of the gawkiness she had detected in Sam when she was younger. Jack O'Neill was a lucky man and, from everything she had heard about O'Neill from her husband, she suspected that Sam Carter was also a lucky woman.

O'Neill was a hunk and she was immediately taken by his charming smile and sparkling brown eyes, which indicated he probably possessed a sense of humour, something sadly lacking in some of the people she met through her husband. Sam was blushing at Gladys' comment, which Gladys found very endearing.

"You might already know some of the people here, but let me introduce you," she said, remembering her duties as a hostess, "Sam, I adore that outfit. I so envy women that can get away with wearing red without it draining them. We'll have time to talk later, but you of all people know what duty is like. Must get people mixing."

The older woman smiled affectionately and Sam returned her grin, starting to feel more at ease. Gladys Fox had been a bit of a mother figure after her own had died and she immediately regretted not having kept in touch. Life was full of such regrets.

Overall, there were about 25 people in the room so far, all standing around in groups talking, and Gladys picked a friendly looking bunch to start the pair off with. She was an astute woman and guessed that this was not O'Neill and Sam's sort of thing at all, figuring that they would both probably feel happier curled up at home together.

Her husband had told her they were posted to different parts of the country and she guessed that, if this thing was as serious as she suspected, it meant their time together was precious. If she was in their position she certainly wouldn't want to waste that precious time here, but this was Washington, and Washington was all about politics. There certainly was a lot of that in the Pentagon.

Gladys had surprised herself by being good at it - the perfect officer's wife. As her husband had progressed, so had her skills with people. It could be important to a man's career to have a wife who could make a good impression and influence and charm people; both other officers and their respective spouses. She was a woman who had come from humble beginnings, but no one would have guessed that now.

Sam, of course, had worked in Washington before, but that didn't mean she had learned to play the game. Gladys vowed that, if necessary, she would take the woman under her wing for both protection and education. You had to learn to play the game but it could be a hard lesson. She was going to keep Sam under her watchful gaze tonight and help out of she could. Sam was an intelligent and beautiful woman, so maybe she wouldn't need any. Gladys sincerely hoped so.

General Henry Fox could see his wife had taken a shine to this couple. He knew she had always liked Sam Carter, but O'Neill could be a maverick, sometimes too much of one for his own good. Fox liked him a lot. He had the type of sense of humour that he liked, but he'd never been on the wrong side of it and imagined that could smart, and make enemies. Fox was pleased that his wife seemed to like him too.

When O'Neill had contacted his staff to ask if it was okay to bring Sam with him, Fox had been delighted. He hadn't seen Sam for a very long time and had always liked Jacob and his daughter. Jacob's wife had been a friend of Gladys' and they had both mourned her loss. Jacob had an unenviable task of raising her through her teenage years without the aid of her mother and Fox was aware that the father and daughter had not always got along. That was the way of things sometimes, as he knew from bitter experience.

Sam had matured into an excellent soldier, and also a brilliant scientist. Her mind was quite unique and he knew the Air Force treasured it. That she had paired up with O'Neill had come as a surprise. They had worked together for years but there had never been a credible rumour of any impropriety between them, despite the best efforts of Kinsey and some of his ilk, all of whom Fox heartily despised.

It made Fox wonder, but what did he care? They had made an effective team and got the job done. If they had been carrying on behind the backs of their superiors, it hadn't impacted on their brilliant performance either as SG-1, or later when Jack was in command of the SGC. Now the regs were irrelevant. Jack had spoken to his superiors and they'd concluded that there was enough distance between the pair in terms of command to make a relationship between them kosher, so it was all above board.

Jack O'Neill was his kind of man. He could be blunt and to the point, sometimes acerbic, but Fox way preferred that to the bunch of brown noses he too frequently had to contend with. He might not always see things the same way as a lot of the military, but that was one of the things that made him good at his work. He needed that slightly off the wall, individualist, view of things in his job. It wasn't exactly the usual type of work one came across in the armed forces.

He also made the best possible use of his subordinates, had done on SG-1 and still did. O'Neill used their strengths and gave them all due credit. That was important. He was a good leader and commanded a lot of loyalty and respect from those who worked around him.

The man was all too frequently right, much to the chagrin of detractors. Jack was the right man who happened to have been placed in the right jobs at the right times.

O'Neill also had one heck of a background, some of which didn't even bear thinking about. Fox had read his files, both the confidential and the one intended for general consumption. O'Neill had way more field experience than many people Fox had encountered who thought they could run the show. A lot of that experience was unique to him and no one else could replicate it – he'd run hundreds of missions in places and amongst peoples that most folks on Planet Earth didn't even know existed; even most of the people in this very room.

Fox never ceased to be in awe of the Stargate and what it meant for Earth, both good and bad, and greatly admired those people who risked their lives daily to traverse the universe and confront the unknown. O'Neill had done that more than most and had saved the planet, and probably the universe, too many times to count. The man was a genuine hero and Fox chuckled to himself to think on that because he knew it was the very last thing Jack O'Neill would describe himself as except in a moment of self deprecating wit.

Jack and Sam chatted amiably to the group they'd been introduced to, none of whom they had met before, but Jack found they had something in common apart from the Armed Forces and it got them off to a flying start. They were talking about music, jazz and blues to be more precise, and one of the men was recommending a music venue to the others.

"You mean the Firefly Club in Ann Arbor?" Jack asked for clarification as they entered the conversation mid-way through.

"You know it? My daughter goes to Michigan University and we've been a few times, haven't we darling?" the man said to his wife.

Jack was already having difficulty remembering the man's name: General something or the other. Sam would no doubt recall. Jack vowed he should get better at the remembering names thing at these sorts of social events, for Sam's sake, if not for his own.

"Sure. Great jazz and blues venue. I've been a few times too, although it's been a while," Jack responded.

"Small world. Catherine and I love jazz and blues, don't we honey?"

"Me too," Jack agreed, and thereby immediately settled into the conversation and endeared himself to General Hiney's heart, and the rest of the assembled few, who also happened to be aficionados.

Sam was no expert on jazz or blues but managed to hold up her end for a while by smiling and nodding enthusiastically in various places during the conversation. Gladys Fox kept the room circulating so they were soon onto another topic elsewhere and Jack and Sam got separated and brought together again a couple of times during this game of social 'musical chairs'.

As Jack momentarily stood alone, out of the corner of his eye he could see Grafton approaching. Crap! He smiled like they were best friends and greeted him warmly.

"Didn't know you knew Fox," Grafton said.

"I should imagine there's a ton of things you don't know about me, Grafton."

"I have to hand it to you O'Neill, you certainly seem to have chosen the right date."

"Surprised an old fool like me can catch a beautiful younger woman like her?" Jack asked and was greeted by a cold smile.

"I guess some people can be taken in by that fake charm of yours."

"Oh Sam isn't taken in, she knows only too well it's fake," quipped Jack, determined not to rise to the bait.

"You must introduce me to this woman, O'Neill. She has to be a paragon if she'll put up with you."

"Gee thanks, Grafton. Actually, she kinda likes me, go figure! No accounting for taste is there? Sure, I'll introduce you. She's always got on well with snakes."

Jack couldn't help himself, riled as he was by Grafton's attitude, and was pleased with the comment because Grafton couldn't possibly understand its full meaning.

"One of these days you're going to cut yourself on that razor sharp wit of yours O'Neill."

"Not if I cut you first."

"Jack, you haven't introduced me to all your friends. Keeping the good looking ones away from me?" Sam interrupted, having seen the two men talking and guessing that they might be heading towards an argument. She felt an obligation to divert them from that course and grasped Grafton's hand warmly, blitzing him with a million kilowatt smile. Jack could almost see the man melt and smiled to himself. This was the kick he had asked her to give him if he put his foot in it, and she did it superbly.

"Sam Carter, sir, and you're General Michael Grafton. I know you by reputation," she failed to mention what kind of reputation and the man straightened, clearly flattered.

"Charmed I'm sure. I was just saying to Jack that I can't see what you see in him."

"Jack's a very great man, General, and often misunderstood."

"Is he? Perhaps I need to pump you for some information?"

"Gladly. Excuse us, Jack, the General and I are going to sneak off for a private chat."

"Hope my ears don't burn too much, Sam," Jack said with a smile, and as the pair wandered off, he could hear Sam flattering Grafton and sounding quite genuine about it.

"Jack, before you get caught up with someone else, and we go into dinner, I wanted a quick word with you." It was General Fox.

"Yes, sir?"

"I might not get the chance to talk to you properly about this tonight but I want you to be one of the first to know," the General said, urging Jack to a more private spot where they couldn't be overheard.

"I'm all ears, sir."

"I'll come straight to the point. In two weeks I'm going to become your CO," Jack tried to cover his surprise, "It hasn't been announced yet, but I know it's going to happen."

"What about…?"

"He's retiring on medical grounds, unfortunately, which leaves me with one heck of a job to do. I wanted you to know that you have my complete support. You can stop worrying about all that budget and resource controversy because 'wily old Fox' is on your side now, and I have more than a bit of influence, as you know."

It wasn't for nothing that the General was known as 'wily old Fox' and Jack thought this was good news indeed. Fox was one of the few higher ranking generals that he knew of whose nickname amongst the lower ranks would not be considered as an insult.

"Thank you, sir, that's good to know."

"Jack, I know quite a lot about the programme, but not anywhere near as much as you. Nor have I got your years of experience dealing with something so crazy that it sounds like it should be a TV show. I'm relying on you to guide me through it, son. I'm going to need it. There's too much at stake for me to cut my teeth by making dumb mistakes. I want you to tell me it like it is, and I want you to tell me what your gut says."

"Sir?"

"I understand that you have a pretty good gut there, airman, and I'd probably be well advised to listen to it. George Hammond always thought very highly of you and his opinion is worth listening to. I hope we have an understanding."

"Oh, I think so, Sir. Thank you."

"Besides, my wife has taken a liking to you, and she adores Sam, so I'm choice less," the General joked and Jack laughed. He'd always liked Fox when he'd encountered him in the past, so was pleased that they would be working together. The programme could do with his kind of support.

"It'll be an honor to work with you General," he said.

"Likewise, my boy. So tell me, are you planning on making an honest woman of Samantha Carter? It's about time she got married." Jack could feel his face reddening and Fox noticed. "I'm sorry, son, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I just thought, well…" he shrugged.

"I-I it's… well, we only just kicked this thing into touch, you know? Way too early to be talking about marriage."

"But you worked together for years. Must know each other like the backs of your hands."

"Not like this, sir."

"Yes, I guess it is a bit different. So you two never…"

"If we had am I likely to tell you, sir?" Jack smiled cheekily, "But no, I would never have done anything to jeopardise Sam's career and plan to keep it that way."

"I'm pleased to hear that. Want my opinion for what it's worth, Jack? Don't wait too long. Neither of you are getting any younger. If you can work together for so long and still want to get romantically involved then you have something good, and strong, and enviable. She's bright, she's beautiful and most of the men in this room are probably spitting blood because you came in here with her on your arm. Snap her up, my boy. She even seems to be charming the pants off Grafton, and not many people can do that. The man is a certified asshole."

Jack laughed, pleased that Fox agreed with his assessment.

"I think we can both agree about that sir."

"Then we are going to get along splendidly. Let me know next time Sam will be in Washington. You two should come over for dinner with Gladys and I. I know Gladys would love it, and so would I."

"We would be honoured."

"Honoured? Poppycock! I'm talking something strictly informal here, not the dinner party of the century meant for ass lickers and hangers on. Understand me, boy?"

"I think so, sir," Jack beamed delightedly.

"It'll be time to eat soon, I hope. Must get back to my Gladys. All these years and I still love her madly. That's a great thing. I think I see the same in you and Sam. We'll talk more."

"I'm sure we will, sir."

With a huge grin on his face, Jack watched the General join his wife. They certainly made a handsome couple and did look very happy. His thoughts wandered to the notion of he and Sam holding just such an evening in years to come and people thinking the same thing about them but he pulled himself away from such ruminations, starting to cogitate on the implications of working under Fox's command.

Sam seemed engrossed in something Grafton was saying. The man had clearly become besotted with her, which probably gave him another reason for hating rather than liking Jack. He hoped that didn't backfire.

"Oh, the Foxes have been friends with my family for years," Sam was telling Grafton, and he was impressed.

Sam knew a lot of people wanted to suck up to Fox. Most people thought that he was set for the very top and wanted to hang on his coattails. She knew that sort of thing got right up the General's nose, but could see that Grafton was one of those men who thought he could benefit from Fox's patronage. He was obviously after another star. Sam smiled inwardly with the knowledge that Jack was much more Henry Fox's kind of guy than Grafton.

"So you're Jacob Carter's little girl, huh?" Grafton asked.

"I haven't been a little girl for a long time, General."

"Oh please call me Mike. You aren't in my chain of command, Colonel; I think we can be on first name terms, don't you? You don't mind if I call you Sam, do you?"

"Of course not…umm…Mike."

"I must say that you are a damned sight more attractive than most Colonels I know. Thought about a move to the Pentagon?"

"I used to work there."

"You did? And you moved to a tin pot place like Cheyenne Mountain doing deep space radar telemetry?"

It had become apparent to Sam very quickly that Grafton knew nothing about the Stargate programme. Jack had failed to mention that. The man was arguing over resources and costs for a project about which he was totally ignorant. That amused her.

"Cheyenne is hardly tin pot, Mike, NORAD is there."

"The most important thing they do these days is track Santa on Christmas Eve," he replied and laughed at the wit of his own joke. Sam smiled sweetly and wondered how quickly she could escape from this creep. The things she did for Jack O'Neill!

"So, you and Jack O'Neill, huh?" Grafton continued, "I hope you don't mind me speaking my mind, Sam, but I have to say that I have never seen the charm in the man that some people seem to."

"He isn't perfect, Mike, but who is? He's a damned fine officer, the best CO I've ever had the honor to work with."

"Must be more to him than meets the eye."

"A lot more," she smiled, "he can be gruff, and sometimes too outspoken for his own good, but he generally knows what he's talking about. A lot of people have made the mistake of not listening and have lived to regret it."

"Really? We never have seen eye to eye much."

"That's such a shame, Mike, if you don't mind me saying so. He's a man who is worth having on your side."

"And a formidable enemy?" Grafton probed.

"Very formidable. He has a lot of traits that I admire deeply. I guess I always figured I could do worse than to emulate him. He taught me a lot over the years and I'll always be grateful for that. He's highly respected by those under his command, they'd do almost anything for him, and he's fiercely loyal to his friends."

"Emulating his sarcasm and acerbic wit might not be such a good thing, Sam," and she laughed in response.

"Perhaps. I guess you either love him or you hate him. I do so hope you aren't one of those people who hate him, Mike. He's a good man, with a good and generous heart."

"Not a side of him I've ever seen."

"Maybe you haven't been looking closely enough. You are a very talented man, General Grafton. I've heard a lot about you and I'm sure you have even better to come. A man of your talents must surely know to look beneath the surface of the men you command and work with."

Grafton eyed her suspiciously but detected no hint of deception or sarcasm on Sam's part. The woman had such a way about her: very beautiful and charming. He envied O'Neill and wished he had such a woman on his side. His own wife had died a few years ago and he knew that since then he had become a more bitter and cynical man. Maybe he had misjudged O'Neill. She was right that one needed to dig deeper to see what lay within.

"You are right, of course, Sam. O'Neill and I always seem to be put into a position where we are almost bound to butt heads. Nature of the job, sometimes. Perhaps I need to see him in a different context." He smiled.

"I'm sure Jack would feel honored to get the opportunity to see a different side of you too, Mike. You men so love locking horns like bulls in a field. Now if the world were ruled by women it would be an entirely different place," she grinned, now wishing to get off the subject of Jack so she didn't push it too far and wondering if Grafton would try to see Jack differently in future.

"I'm sure you're right, my dear," Grafton chuckled.

She was relieved when they were summoned to dinner at last and Jack came to take her arm and steer her in. The dining room boasted three large tables amongst which the assorted 30 plus guests were split. Sam was delighted to find that her and Jack were sitting alongside General Fox and Gladys and thought she read a sour expression on Grafton's face as he realised that he had been relegated to a different table.

Jack was dying to tell her what Fox had said to him, but hadn't had the chance and probably wouldn't now until much later. The food was fine, and he was even enjoying himself, but it occurred to him with a sickening thud that tomorrow she would be gone and he yearned to be alone with her and take advantage of their final hours. It was possible they could be the last ones for weeks. In this job you could never tell, and that held true for both of them.

After dinner the women retired back to their original room while the men stayed behind to drink brandy and smoke cigars. Quaint! Gladys Fox made it her business to introduce Sam to all the wives she hadn't met, and keep her close. It was some time before the men joined them again and when they did Gladys whispered to Sam.

"Honey, that is one hell of a man you have there. You go back to Colorado tomorrow?" Sam nodded, "Well, if I were you I'd grab him and take him home. I'm sure you'd like some time to yourselves."

"You're right as always, Gladys."

"He seems to be a good man, Sam."

"The best." Sam's admiring smile told Gladys everything she needed to know.

"Next time you make it to Washington you and Jack must come round for a meal. I'll organise it, just let me know. We can have more time for girlie talk."

"I'd like that. I'm sure Jack would too."

"We sure have some catching up to do and I would so like to get better acquainted with General O'Neill. Meanwhile, I think you two ought to get better acquainted, if you get my drift."

"Gladys!"

"Well, he one sexy hunk of a man, and almost entirely subconsciously. I love that in a man."

"Yes, he is pretty hot, isn't he? And I love him dearly."

"I can see that."

"Really?"

"Don't worry, my dear, it isn't written in neon above your head or anything. But I'm a great people watcher. It's one of my favourite hobbies and it can be a very useful thing too. I have eyes, and you two clearly adore each other. There's also a lot of respect there, and that is so important. Respect and friendship; that is what lasts. I still love Henry after all these years because of it. So take my advice, grab him and run."

Sam did exactly that and when they got outside Jack pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

"I've been wanting to do that all night," he declared.

"Me too."

"Not too bad as that sort of thing goes, but I'd rather have been alone with you."

"We'll have other times to be alone."

"You go back tomorrow, Sam, and I'm going to miss you. There's too little time."

"I know. So let's get back to your apartment as soon as. I want to have rip roaring sex before we go to sleep tonight."

"Rip roaring? Sounds mighty interesting. Who's doing the ripping and who's doing the roaring?" Jack asked jokily.

"I want to hold you naked in my arms, Mr Scarecrow."

"Wow! Anytime Dorothy."

Once in the car, Sam kissed Jack with a passion and caressed his thigh.

"You keep your hand there while I'm driving and I won't be held responsible," he commented.

"Gladys Fox thinks you're a hunk." She squeezed his thigh and then removed her hand.

"A hunk? Gladys Fox?" his eyes widened with surprise.

"She's right, you are."

"What else did she say about me?"

"That I should grab you while I can and take you home for rip roaring sex."

"Gladys Fox said that?"

"Not in so many words, but it's what she meant." Jack laughed at that.

"Good old Gladys. I'm going to like her," he said.

"Well, next time I'm coming to Washington I've got instructions to call her so we can go round there for dinner."

"Huh! The General said the very same thing."

"They are good people."

"Yes they are, and it turns out that Fox is going to become my CO, but don't say anything because it hasn't been made official yet."

"Your CO? That's great Jack. He's a good man to have on your side."

"And it seems he is on my side. For some reason I think he likes me."

"Lots of people do."

"Do they? I hadn't noticed."

"Jack, give yourself a break."

"I don't think even your charm will make Grafton like me."

"Mmm… maybe not, although I think I gave him some food for thought. But he's an ass so I wouldn't worry too much."

"Fox thinks so too, so at least we already agree on something."

"He never was keen on ass lickers Jack. He appreciates honesty, respectfully given, of course. That's why he got on so well with my dad. So, he'll be your CO, huh? Interesting. I wonder whether Gladys knew that."

"I'd guess yes."

"Mmmm…"

"Thinking politics Sam?"

"That, and having good friends in the right places."

"Can't hurt. Could be good for your career."

"And yours."

"Not much of mine left."

"You've been thinking that for years. You never thought you'd make it beyond Colonel and now look at you."

"Yeah true, but I think I'm sitting in a car with a woman who will have a much more glittering career than mine."

"You think? Well it's almost time to get our butts out of this car and into your bed. Let's not talk about work. We'll both be there soon enough tomorrow."

"Yes, ma'am."

Their subsequent lovemaking was long, filled with deep affection and simple honesty and, afterwards, Jack spooned against Sam, the feel of her in his arms both bitter and sweet. It pained him that she would be gone tomorrow, that he didn't know when they would see each other again. He wanted her with him always and realised he needed to do something to let her know that he felt like that. Just telling her he loved her wasn't enough. Never alone, and always: those words meant a great deal.

Waking alongside her the next morning, getting ready for work together, sharing the bathroom, the kitchen, filled Jack's heart with such joy and contentment he knew he could never find words to express those feelings. In some ways they hardly knew each other at all and yet knew each other so very well.

This cosy, companionable and loving intimacy that had grown so quickly between them was all he could have dreamed and hoped for. He felt secure in the knowledge of her love, and his own, and that warmed his often cold, lonely and blackened soul more than he'd ever dared imagine.

"Sam, before we go off to work, there's something-something I want to give you."

She thought he looked nervous. His face was suffused with pink and he was shifting uncomfortably, fiddling with something in his pocket.

"What is it Jack?"

"I, um, I… here, take these. I think you ought to have them, just in case you ever need them," he stammered, handing her a set of keys. She stared at his hand in amazement. Keys?

"These are the keys for this place?"

"Yeah. Downstairs, this apartment, the roof."

"Jack, I… I don't know what to say. Thank you."

"Hey, don't read anything into it, you know?" he hastened to say, "it's just, if you arrive when I'm out, whatever."

"Sure."

She tried to suppress her disappointment that he downplayed its significance and put the keys into her bag, avoiding his eyes. Jack reached for her face, placing his fingers under her chin and lifting it so she looked up at him.

"I'm full of crap sometimes Sam. I-I want you to think of this place like… as if it was home. Whenever you like. You are always welcome here. I want…" Now his face had reddened more deeply, "I-I…I love you Sam."

He pulled her into his arms and she knew it was significant, very significant. That lifted her heart and she embraced him.

"Thank you Jack. That's… I still don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. Just use those red slippers of yours to get here whenever you like, Dorothy. As often as you like."

He swayed her in his arms for a few moments before she lifted her head from his shoulder and kissed him.

"I'll remember that. There's no place like home," she grinned brightly, "Wait…" Sam let him go and rifled through her small case, pulling out her toothbrush and handing it to him. "In that case, perhaps I ought to leave this here." It was the only gesture she could think of that could adequately answer his.

"You betchya," he smiled, putting it on the table close by, "I'll put it next to mine later." He hugged her again and then pulled back, "I guess we'd better go. You don't want to be late for your meeting."

Both of them recognised that these simple gestures signified a step change in their relationship. Something very important had just happened and it was something life changing, that confirmed a commitment that neither of them voiced. This was a lifetime thing; this was forever. They felt it and it was a small comfort in their parting, the idea of which filled them with dread. Their final goodbye at the Pentagon was sweetened by it.

Jack got home late that night and almost the first thing he saw as he walked into the empty apartment was her toothbrush lying where he had left it on the table. He smiled, taking it with him to the bathroom and placing it alongside his and then he took it into his hands again, feeling like a sap for the emotions such a simple thing provoked.

Taking it with him, he wandered back into the living room and sat down with it in his hand.

'Jeez, Jack, you're getting sentimental in your old age,' he thought. 'God, I love her so much.'

Making a decision. He picked up the phone and dialled. After a few rings, she picked up, sounding sleepy.

"Sam?"

"Jack?" her heart skipped wildly at the realisation.

"I just wanted to call. You got back okay then?"

"Yes Jack."

"I just wanted… I wanted to hear the sound of your voice, Sam. I love you. I hope I didn't wake you."

"You can wake me anytime if you're going to tell me that."

"That I love you? I miss you? I want to hold you in my arms, kiss you and make love to you? I can call you anytime to tell you that?"

"Yes, my darling. It's good to hear the sound of your voice too."

"This place feels a bit empty without you Sam."

"My arms feel empty without you, Jack."

"Then pretend I'm with you, and I'll do the same." He sighed and she almost felt the whisper of his breath in her ear. They were silent for a while, simply listening to each other breathing. It felt ridiculously good for something so effortless.

"I love you, Jack," Sam said eventually.

"Yeah, and you know something? That's so great."

Footnote: The Firefly Club exists and is located on Ashley Street in Ann Arbor, Michigan.


	8. Never Alone: Friends

Title: Never Alone: Friends

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Contains use of minor mild language and references to sexual situations.

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: General S9 spoilers

Summary: After far too long apart, Jack finally gets to Colorado Springs to see Sam.

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone: The Gathering

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

Author's Note: This weeks challenge on As The Stargate Turns Yahoo Group was to write a fic using the line "Tell me again why we agreed to this?" and/or the word 'showtime'. This fic includes both. Thanks to SA, queen of the group, for keeping me inspired. Once again, this fic has not been beta read, so please forgive any daft errors, if there are any.

**Never Alone: Friends **

Sam suppressed an excited squeal when she heard the knock on her door, which she knew was probably Jack arriving from Washington. She felt like an infatuated school girl, but he didn't have to know what a total immature mess Sam Carter could be, did he?

Opening the door she was greeted by a gigantic bouquet of flowers with long slim legs. A wonderfully familiar hand held them. Flowers? Wow!

"Peek-a-boo," she said "That is General Jack O'Neill of the USAF behind there, right?"

Jack lowered the flowers and regarded her with a lopsided smile.

"Expecting another man to turn up on your doorstep with flowers Sam?"

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting you to. They're beautiful Jack, thank you." She kissed him welcomingly, dying to hold him in her arms, which wasn't possible while he was holding the flowers. "Any particular occasion?"

"I can't buy my beautiful girlfriend flowers? Just… well my date deserves flowers doesn't she?"

"Y-you just caught me by surprise, is all. They're wonderful, Jack. Thanks so much. Come in, put them down and give me a hug?"

"You betchya." Carefully placing the flowers on the floor, he pulled her into his arms. "That feels good. It's been too long."

"Yes, way too long," she responded, returning the hug with vigour.

It had been a while since they'd managed to squeeze each other into their busy schedules. The last time they had seen each other was outside of the Pentagon, with a perfunctory kiss as a parting goodbye. Once more, their relationship had been conducted over the phone and the one arrangement they had managed to make had fallen through because of a crisis in Washington.

Sam had been tempted to take a plane and just turn up over that weekend in the hope she might see Jack for a while, but changed her mind and threw herself into some work instead thinking it wouldn't be too long before they managed to see each other again. She had been wrong and regretted many times not taking that flight. Next time, she would act on that gut instinct instead of suppressing it.

"I'd better put these flowers in water. Jack, flowers. That's so great," she grinned happily.

"Didn't expect Jack O'Neill to be a flowers guy, huh?"

"No, not really."

"Then I'm glad I surprised you. Now if we're going out we'd better get a move on. I know I've only just arrived but…"

"Going out? I'm tired, Jack, can't we just stay in, get take-out and have a cuddle and some sex?"

"That is a mighty tempting offer but no we can't. You are going to love this, really you are, and tonight's the only night we can do it."

"Do what?"

"Surprise!"

"Jack!"

"Oh, come on, surely you love surprises. I did a bit of digging, found out about this and… well, you'll get it when we get there, really you will. Trust me?"

"I can do that. Okay, then give me a clue about clothes."

"Perfect as you are."

"What in these old things?"

"You women always say that but I'm betting that isn't any old thing at all Sam," he said, running a hand over the fabric of her shirt.

"You're right, I bought it last week. Like it?"

"Makes your eyes even bluer. Love it."

Sam was only wearing old jeans, but her top was brand new: a shiny, dark blue satin.

"I'm going to enjoy taking that off you tonight. It feels real sexy," Jack added, smoothing his hand along her back and to her waist. He kissed her.

"Are you sure about going out?" she asked, eyeing him curiously.

"Once in a lifetime thing, maybe? Can't miss it."

"Okay, you've got me intrigued. We really need to leave right now?"

"More or less."

"What about food? Are we eating out?"

"Stop searching for clues. I'm staying dumb as usual," he winked and Sam frowned, but played along. This could be fun, whatever it was. If Jack thought she would like it then she trusted him to be right.

Sam found a vase for the flowers and placed them in it, quickly going to the bathroom to check her make up and hair and then finding her jacket and putting it on.

"Is this the same car you got last time?" she asked.

"Yeah, well you liked it, didn't you? I reserved it especially."

"Jack you don't need a car, I've got my own. We could have used that."

"Never know when we might need two. If you drove I'd have to tell you where to go and that would spoil everything."

"You hired a car especially so you could give me a surprise?"

"Well…" he shrugged, looking boyish.

"I love you, Jack O'Neill," she grinned and kissed him, "So let's go." Sam was impatient to get to her surprise.

As Jack drew closer he demanded that she close her eyes, then a few minutes later pulled up and got out.

"Keep 'em closed," he said and helped her out, leading her blindly for a few yards and then stopping and placing an arm round her. "You can open them now, look straight ahead."

Sam gasped and shrieked with delight, and then laughed, turning to kiss him gratefully.

"Wizard of Oz! Oh Jack, how did you find out it was on?"

"Would you believe internet?"

"Y-you looked on the internet for what was on in the Springs?" she said, open-mouthed with surprise.

"Sure."

"You can be a very unexpected man sometimes, Mr Scarecrow."

"I thought it would be cool to see our alter egos on the big screen, Dorothy," he said, "It's the last night."

"I didn't even know it was on."

"I'm glad or you might have guessed. Come on, it's showtime!"

He grinned like a schoolboy, taking her hand and crossing the road to the movie theatre, picking up the two tickets he'd paid for over the net and leading her to the confectionary concession.

"Popcorn?" he asked. "No night at the movies is complete without it."

She nodded with a huge smile on her face and he bought the biggest box available, as well as some chocolates and a regular and diet coke, and they took their seats. Throughout the movie they frequently found themselves looking at each other, exchanging gooey grins and secret smiles. They held hands and each would squeeze the other's hand gently and then look almost shyly into their eyes. It made Sam feel more like an infatuated teenager than ever.

What had come over Jack? Flowers, and then a movie? This movie. She supposed this was always going to be 'their' movie and she loved that thought. Jack's smile when Dorothy clicked the heels of her red slippers and said "there's no place like home" over and over was irrepressibly teen like and made Sam wonder if he was getting those infatuated teenager feelings too. Probably. She loved that thought even more.

"Should have got a seat in the back row," he commented as they left, "dang, what a missed opportunity."

"I guess you actually wanted to see the movie," Sam grinned.

"Rather than smooch with my girlfriend all the way through the movie? Well I thought I did when I booked the tickets," he kidded.

"You can smooch with your girlfriend now if you like."

"Oh yes please."

So right outside of the move theatre, in the middle of the sidewalk, Jack pulled her into his arms for a passionate kiss.

"Thanks for the movie," she said when they surfaced for air, "I really loved it Mr Scarecrow." Sam smoothed her thumb over his cheek.

"Me too, Dorothy. Love you too."

"Oh Jack, you are such an unexpected romantic."

"Can't be pragmatic all of the time. That's my job. Sometimes it's good to get time off for good behaviour," he chuckled, "I told you before, I want to be romantic with you. You deserve romance. So, hungry?" he asked with a query on his raised eyebrow.

"Yes. Anything in mind?"

"Umm… Josie's Diner? Cheap, cheerful and totally fantastic!"

"Josie's? Yeah, I like that idea."

Josie's sold great food and the best burgers in Colorado Springs. It was open from breakfast until late and just about everything they served was as close to perfect as you were ever likely to get from a diner.

"Jack O'Neill? As I live and breath, is that really you?" A loud voice greeted him as he entered holding Sam's hand.

"Josie! Hey, I didn't necessarily expect you to be here," Jack responded enthusiastically, hugging the great bear of woman, "Do you know Sam?"

"I'm pretty sure I've seen you in here before," Josie said when she'd peered at Sam.

"Yeah, I've eaten here a few times. Love your food."

"So, your heart's taken Jack? What a severe disappointment for an old woman to bear. I've waited all these years for you sweetheart." Josie grinned and kissed Jack on the cheek, "Arsenic dressing on your food then Sam?" she joked, "Seriously, any friend of Jack's is a friend of mine. I love this guy."

"So do I," Sam smiled, taking an immediate liking to this overly large woman; both large in size and personality.

"Do you now? Well, I'm figuring that Jack needs some of that; and deserves it. Where have you been, Jack?"

"Washington."

"D.C?"

"Yep."

"Oh my god, they got you at last?"

"I'm sorry to say they have, Josie, but I come back here when I can."

"To see this beautiful young woman?"

"You betchya."

"Oh, I love a good romance. It's about time, Jack."

"Jeez, nag, nag, nag. She's been telling me for years to find myself a good woman, Sam"

"Looks like you did." Josie commented with a wink.

"How's Bob?" Jack asked, feeling a little flustered by the topic of conversation so changing it. Bob was Josie's long suffering, but loving, husband.

"He's doing just great. You know Bob," Josie rolled her eyes heavenward, "Been grumbling that you haven't contacted him to go fishing for a while. Now we know why. Washington, no less, and obviously you have more important things to do when you're down here," she nodded towards Sam.

"I'll call him, Josie."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, sure I promise."

"Then that's good enough for me. Know what you're having or do you want to look at the menu?"

Having cooked it for them personally, she left them alone while they tucked into their two huge burgers. Jack had fries while Sam had salad, and they shared side orders of deep friend onion rings and mushrooms. Josie insisted they have cheesecake for dessert, telling them it was the best she'd made in a long time, and it probably was; certainly it was delicious.

By the time they left they were happily replete, giggling like two people who have overdosed on too much sugar. Josie watched them leave, waving goodbye, and thought they looked like such a great couple. She was thrilled Jack had found himself a woman at last, and so obviously someone he cared about deeply. Josie could see Sam cared about Jack too, and that pleased her even more. The man was more than worthy of some loving. She couldn't wait to tell Bob all about it.

"It's been a hard week. I thought I might have to cancel again," Jack told Sam as they entered her house.

"Tired?"

"Exhausted."

"Wily old Fox working you too hard? Come, sit down. Want a beer?"

"Love one."

She brought him one and they cuddled together on her couch for a while.

"I'm so happy you're here, Jack. I've missed you."

"Same here. The phone isn't enough."

"No."

Jack had been wondering what to do about this situation. The distance, and their work, made it so hard on them, and he hated that he couldn't see her more often. On the other hand, it made their time together precious and all the more sweet. Can't have it all ways, but he craved to be with her for a longer period of time than a spasmodic weekend.

"I've been thinking about a vacation Sam. A week or so away somewhere. Both of us? What do you think?"

"A vacation? Together? I would love to Jack. A few days with you? You betchya, Mr Scarecrow. When and where?"

"As soon as we can organise it and wherever you like."

"Wherever I like?"

"If you fancy sun drenched beaches then that's fine by me. Rolling around in snow? Also fine."

"Ummm, rolling around in snow with you might be kind of nice."

"Better than any other time we spent surrounded by snow, huh?" he smiled and kissed her, recalling different times.

"Did you already have somewhere in mind? The cabin?"

"The cabin?"

"Why not?"

"I, um… the cabin? You wanna go to Minnesota for a vacation?" He was taken aback by that idea.

"We've never been there alone."

"No, true. It could be kind of cool, but think about it Sam. We don't have to make up our minds right this minute."

"Okay, I'll think about it, but the cabin could be calling. Minnesota has lots of lakes. I love lakes."

"I don't mind what the heck we do as long as I'm doing it with you."

Both of them were excited by the prospect of vacationing together. It would be terrific to spend more time with each other than just a couple of days. Maybe they would have a chance to get even better acquainted and that notion was so very appealing. If they could stand each other's company for days on end maybe, just maybe, they stood a hope of making this thing work in the way Jack craved: commitment, permanency, the whole works.

Jack had no idea that Sam was thinking precisely the same thing. If he asked her to marry him right this minute she would say yes, anytime. Her head argued that it was way too early to be thinking such things, but her heart told a totally different story. She wanted to let her heart take the lead, just this once. She'd let her head take control way too many times, and where had that got her? In the past Jack had accused her of over thinking things, and he was right.

At last she was willing to let herself go and merge with this man she loved so much, become one with him. She had never felt like that before and it was truly eye-opening. To celebrate that new found confidence and expression of emotion, she squeezed Jack tenderly and kissed him, parting his lips with her tongue and exploring his mouth in detail. Jack groaned.

"Bed?" she said simply when she parted her mouth from his.

"That would be real nice, Sam."

She got up from the couch, taking his hand in hers, and led him to her bedroom. Jack kissed her and then made a detour to the bathroom. As he stared at her toothbrush on the shelf, he remembered her gesture back in Washington. Over the last few weeks he'd spent an awful lot of time looking at that toothbrush sitting next to his and it had warmed his heart.

Sometimes when he spoke to her on the phone he held it in his hands as if it was a tangible part of her. She would probably think he was a sap if he told her about that, so he wouldn't. There were limits to what Jack O'Neill could do to express himself, and he wasn't prepared to look a total fool. Flowers were enough and more than he might usually give. It was giving her more of himself than Sam probably even realised.

He couldn't have known how often Sam had taken his keys in her hands and caressed them, with similar thoughts and feelings running through her head. The keys were part of Jack, and they expressed his feelings for her even better than his declarations of love. They were a comfort in his absence. He might be physically absent but was never far from her heart.

"I'll get into bed and wait for you, Sam," he whispered as they exchanged places and she went to the bathroom.

She smiled when she saw his toothbrush sitting next to hers, wondering if he would leave it there when he left. She hoped so. It was ridiculous how such little things could mean so much. The smile was still on her face as she re-entered the bedroom but, when she saw Jack, she gasped and grinned lovingly. He'd fallen asleep.

'Poor Jack must have been really tired,' she thought.

Sighing, she got in next to him and cuddled up to the warmth of his body, knowing he would hate himself in the morning again, just as he had that first time, but that he would do his best to make it up to her. She looked forward to that and the notion gave her some very sweet dreams.

Jack most certainly did make it up to her next morning, bemoaning the fact that he had missed the sensual feelings he would get from removing her new satin top. She put it on for him especially and he took his time removing it again, toying with it, skilfully caressing her over and under the luxuriant fabric and driving her wild with anticipation.

Their lovemaking was deliciously sweet and prolonged. Sam couldn't help but think that sex with Jack just kept getting better. This is how it was meant to be. She realised that their intercourse was colored by their feelings for each other. You could not extricate them, they were one and the same. The emotion flowed through the sex, which was lovemaking in the purest sense possible.

"I forgot to tell you, Jack," she started as they lay in each other's arms after their marathon session, both emptied of everything but the love, "I invited Daniel and Teal'c over tonight. I hope you don't mind. They'd really like to see you. You know what Daniel is like once he gets an idea into his head. Difficult to refuse."

"Oh man, do I!" he rolled his eyes recalling many such occasions. "It's fine, Sam, great. Of course I don't mind. I'd like to see them too. All four of us together? It's been a while."

"Too long."

"Yes."

"I'm so pleased you don't mind. I know we get less time to ourselves but…"

"It's cool, Sam, really. They're our friends. We can't abandon our friends simply because we want to be with each other. We'll still be together, won't we?"

Sam was delighted he was pleased. Daniel had nagged and nagged and she just had to give in to him, as well as Teal'c's reproachful stare. It seemed the guys missed their old commander.

"Are you cooking?" Jack asked with a curious eyebrow pointed at the ceiling.

"I wasn't planning to. I don't want to spend hours in the kitchen. Chinese take-out?"

"Sounds like a plan," he smiled.

"We'll need to get some beers."

"So what else do you have planned instead of kitchen duty, Sam?"

"Nothing. Hadn't given it any thought. You're here, and that's all that matters."

"That's nice."

"Is it? It's great to have you here, Jack."

"It's great to be here. So you wanna go out and do something?"

"Not really. Do you?"

"Not really."

"We stay here then?"

"In bed?"

"Has an appeal."

"It certainly does."

She kissed him, her hands absently stroking his skin, and then becoming more mindfully employed at caressing him seductively. Jack loved what Sam could do to his body. She had gained confidence in her lovemaking and, since the day she had seduced him in Washington, had lost inhibitions that might have held them both back. It was delightful, and heavenly, making Jack an even happier man.

He allowed her to make love to him, letting her control it totally, trusting her to do whatever she wished and bring them both pleasure. She did not disappoint him; she was graceful, athletic and wild all wrapped up in one beautiful and powerfully sexy bundle. Afterwards, they feel asleep again and when they woke up had to get ready hurriedly and go out to buy alcohol and soft drinks, as well as other badly needed groceries, including supplies of Daniel's favored coffee.

Daniel and Teal'c arrived together, with Teal'c at the wheel. At least they didn't have arguments about designated drivers when Teal'c was around. It was handy to have a close friend who didn't partake in alcoholic beverages.

Jack was very happy to see his two friends, recalling that they hadn't seen each other since Sam's birthday. That seemed so long ago and he vowed he should get to Colorado Springs more often. He should be able to fit in such visits with his work and didn't know why he hadn't forced that side of his job more often. Probably because he was reluctant to get in Hank Landry's way.

The man had to run things the way he saw fit and Jack had promised himself not to intervene unless they had a fundamental disagreement. He didn't need Jack O'Neill peering over his shoulder at every turn. However, Jack was well overdue an official visit to the SGC and mentally made plans to put that notion into action when he got back to Washington.

Sam had figured that Jack would be undemonstrative of his feelings for her while their friends were there and couldn't have been more wrong. He kept her close, touching, exchanging glances, and sometimes even kissing. It was a total and very wonderful surprise.

The friends chatted amiably, munching through a delicious Chinese take-out and downing far too many beers. Amiably that is until a drunk Daniel got argumentative, in an overly friendly kind of way, and started to be a pain in the butt.

"You know something, Jack," he said, "you never call, you never write. Some friend you turned out to be! We all miss ya, don't we Sam? You two are great, you know that? Great."

He was leering drunkenly and managed to insert himself between Jack and Sam on the couch, putting an arm around each and hugging them affectionately. Teal'c cocked an eyebrow.

"It would appear that Daniel Jackson has had too much alcohol, O'Neill," he commented.

"Teal'c, old buddy!" Daniel got up again and approached the gentle giant. "Teal'c is so way cool, don't you think? My good old friend, Teal'c."

Daniel sat on the arm of Teal'c's chair and placed him arm around the big Jaffa.

"Got another beer, Jack?" he asked.

Jack rolled his eyes at Sam. They all knew what was coming if they didn't take control of Daniel.

"Sheesh! Tell me again why we agreed to this?" Jack whispered to Sam and she tittered. "We know what he gets like when he's been drinking. Why the heck are we encouraging drinking?"

"Because we like it?" Sam responded with a bright smile. "why should we suffer just because Daniel can't take his liquor?"

"What was that, Sam?" Daniel queried, "Can't take my liquor? I heard you. I'm hurt now. I so can take my booze."

Sam got up and walked over to briefly hug him.

"Yes, Daniel, of course you can," she humoured, "Tell you what, who wants coffee?"

"I don't. I want beer," Daniel replied.

"Coffee would be great, Sam," Jack smiled, "lots of it, strong and black."

"For me also, Colonel Carter," Teal'c agreed.

"Coffee it is then."

When Sam came back with coffee and no beer, Daniel got up to help himself, only for Teal'c to firmly deny him that opportunity.

"You will drink coffee, Daniel Jackson. It is an excellent beverage. Very health giving," Teal'c said.

"With all that caffeine? I don't think so Teal'c," Daniel said, but he drank the coffee anyway and after a couple of cups started to feel a little less like the room was swaying. As Sam got up to make yet another jug full, Jack offered to go do it for her.

"No, you stay with the guys. I see them everyday and you don't."

Once Sam had left the room and was out of earshot, Daniel eyed Jack with a look that made Jack quail. No longer drunk, he was still a little woozy.

'Ack! He's gonna get personal,' Jack thought, and he was right.

"So, Jack, when you gonna ask Sam to marry you?" Daniel asked bluntly. Jack regarded his friend with wide eyed surprise at the question. He'd expected personal, but not that.

"Daniel, for crying out loud! Since when is it any of your business? Besides, it's a bit too early for all of that isn't it? We haven't actually been together for that long."

"Hey, don't forget the role I played in helping you guys get together. You might never have asked her out if it wasn't for me. I think that means I have a vested interest in how things are going, don't you?"

Jack rolled his eyes, looking around furtively to make sure Sam wasn't returning. He did not want the embarrassment of her overhearing any of this particular conversation.

"Besides," Daniel continued, "you are two of my best friends. I want to see you both happy. After all these years you think it's too soon to be asking her, Jack? Just how many years are you planning to wait? Hasn't it been long enough? You've been together for a while now."

"Daniel, this is only our third weekend together. It might seem long, but we don't see that much of each other, remember? It's like a third date or something." He fell into silence and then thought more about what Daniel had said. "You really think I can make her happy?"

"Come on Jack, use your eyes, and your gut. You so obviously do. She's crazy about you, and you're crazy about her. People would have to be blind to miss that."

"Daniel Jackson is correct O'Neill," Teal'c intervened, "have you not waited for long enough? We both wish for our two friends to be happy."

"Jeez, I never knew you two were such romantics. Angling to be best man at the wedding, huh?"

"Yeahsureyabetchya, Jack," Daniel grinned and Teal'c inclined his head.

"You can't both be best man!"

"Jack, you're such a traditionalist," Daniel replied light-heartedly, making Jack laugh.

"Guys, this is so not a great topic of conversation right now. Sam and I…well we need to get to know each other a little better, don't you think?

"You think you don't know each other well enough already?"

"Working together, me being her CO, all that… it's a whole hell of a lot different to this isn't it? W-we're only just beginning to get acquainted, know what I mean?"

"Bullshit! You've seen the best and the worst of each other, been to hell and back together, but you still love one another. What else is there to know?"

"Daniel! Here comes Sam, so shut it, okay?"

"If that's what you want, Jack."

"Don't you dare say anything in front of her, right? This is my call."

"Alright, already. Zipping it now, okay?" Daniel mimicked a zipper closing across his mouth and Jack grinned but his friend's words caused him to think.

It was true that they'd been through a lot, Daniel had a point. Jack didn't dither because he was uncertain of his feelings, or even hers, but he believed she deserved to know him better before he asked her to make that kind of commitment. Although he grudgingly admitted the logic of Daniel's argument, it had a gigantic flaw; Jack was an ordinary guy with human failings and Sam should understand what she was letting herself in for before she agreed to anything permanent.

Sure she'd seen his flaws up close, but he had been her CO, someone she respected, admired and obeyed. He had to be sure that she wasn't wearing rose tinted glasses when looking at him. It occurred to him that she might think the same thing about his view of her and maybe one of these days he'd get around to asking.

Daniel wasn't so drunk that he was foolish enough to ignore Jack's wishes, Sam's coffee had seen to that, but he watched his friends as closely as he dared. It was the first chance he'd had to observe them together as a couple and he liked what he saw very much indeed. He noticed Teal'c watching as well and hoped they might get the chance to compare notes later.

They made such a handsome couple and looked very happy and in love. It warmed Daniel's heart to see it and he was proud of the part he had played in making this happen at last. Jack was astonishingly openly touchy feely with Sam, which he hadn't necessarily expected. His friend was full of surprises, that was for sure.

"Pity you two don't get to see each other more often," he commented.

"Couldn't agree more, Danny boy," Jack replied, squeezing Sam gently and kissing her cheek. "I'm working on it."

Sam smiled and took his hand in hers, lifting it to her lips for a brief kiss, and looked into Jack's eyes for a very private exchange. Daniel suddenly felt like an intruder and caught Teal'c's eye, and the big Jaffa nodded almost imperceptibly. They were in agreement. Time to go and leave these two alone. No point in outstaying their welcome. He hoped there would be plenty of other times to see their friends.

"Umm, time we made a move," Daniel said, getting up and stretching. Teal'c followed his lead.

"Already?" Jack said almost half-heartedly, reluctant to part with his friends but eager to spend more time alone with Sam, "gee, is that the time?" he exclaimed.

Jack's glance at his watch made him realise that it was actually beginning to get quite late. It hadn't registered, probably because a good portion of his day had been spent in bed - one of those rare occasions when he did not consider that occupation be a waste of his precious downtime.

"If you stop making yourself a stranger we could get to do this more often, Jack," Daniel retorted.

"I'll try," Jack grinned.

"Why don't you see them out and I'll clear away the debris?" Sam suggested, looking at Jack, "I'll see you guys next week," she added, giving Daniel and Teal'c a brief hug goodbye.

Jack always noticed a light in their eyes when she did that and it pleased him immensely. They were a close knit bunch and nothing would ever tear them apart, no matter how physically separated they were.

Seeing them to the door, Jack stepped outside to say his goodbyes. It had been a good night and Daniel had given him something to think about, as was often his habit. It could be irksome sometimes, but also endearing.

"Thanks, Daniel. You did good," he said with a smile.

"Did I?" Daniel asked, pleased but not sure what Jack was referring to.

"Sam and I… you're right, maybe this would never have happened without you. I'm definitely in your debt, old friend."

"You're happy, Jack, and that's more than enough payment for me," Daniel responded with a small smirk, "You're both happy, and it's about time."

Jack grinned a response and nodded.

"Nevertheless, I owe you one," he added to that non-verbal response.

"I'll remember, that."

"I'm sure you will. Memory like an elephant, that's you."

"Is that supposed to be insulting, because I take it as a compliment."

"No! It wasn't meant to be insulting, Daniel. For crying out loud, can't I say something nice without you getting suspicious?"

"Not really," Daniel replied and they both laughed.

"Guess I can't blame you for that," Jack said. "Look guys, a little way off I know, but how about getting together for Thanksgiving? If it's okay with Sam, I'll come here for the holiday and we can have some more quality time. Thanksgiving is for family and you're mine."

Daniel thought that was one of the nicest things he'd ever heard Jack say and gave him a hug.

"I'm glad you think so, Jack, because you're mine too," he grinned.

"I concur, O'Neill, although I have family of my own," agreed Teal'c with a bow of his head.

"Second family, huh, T?" Jack smiled and patted him on the back. Teal'c pulled him into a hug and that made Jack feel all the warmer.

"Indeed. As Daniel Jackson says, do not be a stranger, my friend."

"I won't. Promise."

He watched them drive off and by the time they'd gone Sam had cleared away and stacked the dishwasher. As he sat on the couch with his arm around her shoulders and head resting on his chest, Jack was thinking about what Daniel had said. They did know each other pretty well, but it was time he revealed some things she ought to know about. She had that right if he was ever going to ask her to be his wife.

"Sam, I've been thinking about that vacation. If you really wanna go to Minnesota, then I'd love that, but can we go to Chicago for a couple of days?"

"Chicago?"

"I want you to see my roots."

"I thought the root of your heart was in Minnesota."

"It is, but I still come from Chicago. I have my reasons for asking, Sam. What do you think?"

"Yeah, I'd love to, Jack."

Sam got the feeling that this was something significant. Jack wanted to introduce her to a part of his past. She wondered what she might learn. It could be an interesting vacation.

After he left that weekend one of the first things Sam noticed was his toothbrush sitting next to hers in the bathroom. He had said nothing, which was so typical of the man, but she knew it meant a lot and she smiled contentedly at that.

Their relationship was evolving at breakneck speed and she was more than happy to let that happen. Fingering the pendant he had given her for her birthday she sighed. Sam missed him when he wasn't around, but he left a part of himself with her and that was a true wonder. Never alone? Absolutely, and she loved every minute.


	9. Never Alone: Just Visiting

Title: Never Alone: Just Visiting

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Romance

Content Level: Age 13+. There is an Adult Only version of this story on my site at the above address

Content Warnings: Contains use of minor mild language and references to sexual situations and torture

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: General S9 spoilers

Summary: Sam surprises Jack in Washington and gets a surprise of her own

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone: Friends

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 84 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: Once again written to fulfil a fic challenge As the Stargate Turns Yahoo Group (or at least that's my excuse). This week's challenge was to include the line 'He shone above them as an angel' and/or the word 'Separation'. This includes both. Not beta read but hopefully I haven't made any awful mistakes.

**Never Alone: Just Visiting **

Sam quietly opened the door to Jack's apartment. Man, was he going to get a surprise! She hoped he liked it. He'd given her the keys so she assumed he meant what he said about turning up at any time. He wasn't expecting her to arrive until the next day, but she had managed to engineer an extra day and here she was. Jack might not even be there, but she hoped he was. If he wasn't she would curl herself up in his bed and that would be even more of a surprise.

Laughter carried through the apartment; a woman's laughter. Sam's heart skipped a beat. Jack had a woman here? No! What should she do? Leave and pretend she had never arrived, or confront them? As dark thoughts whirled around in her head she heard more noises, this time from a man, or should she say men? Jack had company, and it wasn't just a woman.

Relieved, she hoped she didn't walk in to find a woman sitting in Jack's lap, although to be honest she didn't really expect that to happen. Her momentary doubt when she had heard the woman's laugh was simply that. Jack loved her and she didn't really believe he would be messing around with someone else, although she was pretty sure he must get plenty of chances to do exactly that. He was a good-looking man and could be charming when he set his mind to it.

Wondering who he had visiting, she snuck along to the living room. Jack had his back to the door but she could see that Jimmy had spotted her. They were playing poker and she grinned. Jimmy had said they should get together to play and Jack had mentioned that they had been. Must be Jack's turn to play host to their poker night.

Jimmy grinned back, knowing that Jack wasn't expecting her until the next day and that his friend would be very happy to see her. Jack wasn't looking at Jimmy, and no one else had spotted her standing in the doorway, but Jack felt a shiver of anticipation run down his spine and smiled. Sam? Having sensed her presence, he turned to look.

"Sam?" he exclaimed and everyone looked up, "Honey?"

Jack laid his cards down on the table and got up, pulling her into his arms for a kiss and hug.

"Surprise!" she smiled and gave him a squeeze, "I hope you don't mind me turning up a day early."

"You're kidding, right?" he grinned and then, remembering he had company, let her go but took her hand and turned back to his guests. "Sam, let me introduce you." He walked her over to his visitors, "Jimmy you've met of course," Jimmy nodded a hello and smiled winningly, "Folks, this is Sam. Sam… Jane, Pete, Rob, and the miserable looking guy sitting over there is Adam. He's a sore loser."

"Hey!" Adam objected and Jack laughed.

"Only kidding."

"Good to see you again, Sam," Jimmy said with a beaming face. "Jack, do you want us to take off?" he offered, thinking that Jack would probably want to be alone with his beautiful girlfriend. Before Jack could speak, Sam intervened.

"No! Please don't. You folks were invited. Maybe I could join in."

"You play poker?"

"Can't be more than two minutes in the Air Force without learning to play. Actually, my dad taught me," she replied.

"Sure you can join, if you like, when we mop up this hand."

Jack smiled inwardly. Sam was a wicked poker player. If only Jimmy knew. He didn't have much time for women and poker and Jane was there only because Jimmy wanted to find a way into her pants and hoped this was it. Jane was playing hard to get and Jack hoped that Jimmy would learn a hard lessen about women and poker, and women in general, from Sam and Jane tonight.

"Um, guys, I'm out, for now," Jack said, "lets get you settled first," he said to Sam, pulling her out of the room and into his bedroom, and then drawing her into his arms and giving her a long and memorable kiss.

"If I'd known you were coming I would never have invited the guys round. It's great to see you, Sam."

"You too. If you're going to kiss me like that then I'll surprise you more often."

"It was just a kiss."

"Now you're the one who's kidding," she smiled and Jack blushed. "Maybe that's one of the good things about our enforced separation."

"What, that everything tastes sweeter when we're together? I sure hope it would taste as sweet if we were together more often, Sam."

"I didn't mean…"

"I know, honey. I was just kidding."

This time she kissed him. Sometimes he was just so adorable. Sam figured not that many people were likely to say that about Jack O'Neill.

"Jeez, I wish the guys weren't here. I'd seduce you on the spot," Jack whispered, a lecherous smirk on his face.

"No, it's great Jack. I'm happy to meet them. It'll be fun."

"It sure will if you can wipe that superior smirk off Jimmy's face. He seems to think that women can't play poker and, so far, Jane hasn't done anything to prove him wrong."

"Really? Then I can get some extra pleasure from thrashing him," she laughed.

"Want a drink, Sam?"

"Beer?"

"Sure."

Their private hello completed, he took her by the hand, and leading her back into the living room and reluctantly letting her go to get a beer.

As she played Sam looked the picture of innocence. Jack had never met anyone who could bluff as well as Sam. She deserved an award for her performance. When she swept up her winnings, Jimmy frowned, looking puzzled, and Jack smiled at her proudly. By the time they took a break, Sam was well ahead.

"So, you really can play, Sam," Jimmy said with grudging admiration. He was beginning to understand why this woman might be so special to Jack: beauty and brains, an almost lethal combination in Jimmy's not so humble opinion.

"Can't let you guys keep all the fun to yourselves," she retorted with a smile. "You should see me at the pool table."

Jimmy looked up at Jack as if seeking confirmation and Jack nodded.

"You should never have let Jimmy into that secret, Sam. I could have arranged a few games," he said.

"What's the betting he won't believe it until he sees it anyway, Jack," she replied.

"So is there anything you do badly?" Jimmy enquired.

"Absolutely nothing, old buddy," Jack was quick to answer. "She's perfect." He kissed her cheek and Sam smiled shyly.

"Lucky man," Jimmy declared with a leer and an eyebrow wiggle.

"You can say that again," Jack agreed amiably, and Jimmy went of to flirt outrageously with Jane to further his plans for her seduction.

"I wish I was perfect, Jack," said Sam.

"You're as near perfect as anyone can be Sam."

"That's sweet of you."

"I can't believe you're here. It's a great surprise." He looked into her eyes and smoothed his hand over her neck.

"Well, I arranged another meeting at the Pentagon for tomorrow morning."

"Crafty."

They had seen a lot more of each other recently. Jack had found a couple of excuses to visit the SGC and stay overnight with her. He had even managed to fit in a little fishing with Bob on one of the visits, much to Bob's delight, and Josie's. This was the first time Sam had made it to Washington since Fox's party, but at least they'd seen each other, even if it was all too briefly and not for a whole weekend.

Both of them had been bitterly disappointed that their planned vacation needed to be postponed. They had so been looking forward to spending a length of time together but events had conspired to thwart them and they were still trying to plan another date. Jack was concerned that it would end up so late in the year that it would be well into winter before they made it, although it might mean they'd get to roll in the snow after all and that could be a lot of fun.

Now here she was a day early and Jack was thrilled. Another night in her arms: he so loved that. The sex was great, but as far as he was concerned, that was even better.

"Are you free in the afternoon?"

"Might be."

"If so, maybe I can beg some time off myself. 'Wily' would understand."

"No doubt he would," Sam grinned. "Let's see if that's possible. It would be so great."

Shortly after that, the poker commenced again and Sam ended up wiping Jimmy out, much to his amused chagrin. He instigated the departure of the group and, Jack wondered whether Jane had finally agreed to go back to his place, because Jimmy looked really happy, despite his heavy losses, and to a woman no less. Win some, lose some. With poker that was always a risk. You shouldn't play if you aren't prepared to lose. No doubt he would find out about Jane in the fullness of time. Jimmy couldn't help but brag about his conquests.

"Did you eat? You missed the take-out but I might have something in the fridge," Jack said when they'd left; suddenly realising that Sam might not have eaten.

"I'm only hungry for you, Jack," she leered.

"Yeah?

And it seemed she was very hungry for him indeed because she practically dragged him into the bedroom and pushed him onto the bed; not that he put up a fight, of course. She proceeded to seduce him with her mouth in a way that he was pretty sure no woman had ever quite done before and Jack thought Sam was truly and, somewhat unexpectedly, awesome. Then he did the same for her and they were replete, satisfied and happy.

'I love her more than I ever loved anyone before, even Sara,' he thought but found that notion more than a little disturbing so refused to allow himself to dwell. He'd been happy with Sara, very, and should not even consider a comparison between these two great loves of his life.

It felt like a betrayal of Sara and she would always have a special place in his heart. Nothing could take that away from them, just as nothing could replace this deep feeling of love he had for Sam, and he wouldn't want it to.

He recalled the conversation that he'd had in the kitchen with Jimmy earlier. It had started with Jane.

"I really like her, Jack, but she doesn't seem interested in me. Not in that way."

"That's probably why you like her so much Jimmy. Obtaining the unobtainable, all that. Isn't that how you like it? Chase 'em, screw 'em and leave 'em?" Jack queried.

"I don't know; this is different. I'm falling for her."

Jack raised his eyebrows in surprise at that statement from his old friend. Jimmy had a reputation to maintain and love never entered the equation. Jack and Jimmy had once been very close friends, a strange pairing because they were so entirely different, but it had worked.

Jimmy had been the closest thing to a confidante that a man like Jack ever got. It was probably the equivalent to his relationship with Daniel now, but different. Although they had grown apart and lost contact, they had picked up that friendship because they'd always been able to talk to each other about things men didn't always talk about. That ability was a lifetime thing.

"Falling for her?"

"I've known her for ages and she knows what I'm like so who can blame her for not wanting to give in to me, huh?"

"Known her for ages?"

"Since I first moved to Washington. We lived in the same apartment block and got friendly. She was living with a guy at the time. Of course I tried and she resisted, and then I got friendly with him so gave up trying. Jane and I got to be good friends. I was the shoulder she cried on when she split with Mike. We always talked to each other about our various partners. It's not like me to have a woman who is a friend, Jack, you know that, but I like her a whole lot. And now? What suddenly happened? It's all changed. I never even realised I was interested in that way until recently and then it hit me like a ton of bricks."

"So not falling, but fallen, huh?"

"I think so. Is that crazy or what?"

"No it's kind of nice. It feels good to feel like that, Jimmy."

"Like you and Sam?"

"Just like that."

"I'm surprised you haven't proposed to her already and snapped her up."

"Snapped her up? She's not going anywhere."

"You're that confident of her?"

"Yeah I guess I am, but not about the marriage thing, not yet. You don't get married to ensnare someone in a net, Jimmy. I-it's a mutual thing or it's never going to work. Sounds like you've got a warped view of what marriage should be."

"I probably have. Why do you think I've avoided it for all these years?" Jimmy laughed.

"Ask her on a date. Just a date. Stop trying to get her into bed and relax with it. Don't rush it. If it's meant to be it'll happen. Maybe you need to prove yourself to her."

"Maybe she knows me too well for it to ever work."

"No, that's not it, Jimmy. Sam and I… well we were friends for years but that feeling that there was something more was always there, bubbling underneath maybe, suppressed and hidden, but it was there. So how about you and Jane?"

Jimmy did not get the chance to answer as one of the other men came in and interrupted, so he wandered off to talk to Jane, pondering Jack's words and still hoping he could get somewhere.

Jack wondered how it had gone, but his thoughts soon returned to Sam. People kept hinting about them getting married. Virtually the only person who didn't was Sam herself. He didn't read any particular significance into that, of course, because why would she mention it? She wouldn't.

If her asked her, what would she say? Was it too soon? His only answer to that question was yes. Way too soon. She couldn't possibly know what she would be letting herself in for. Not yet. No one ever did with a marriage, of course, but that wasn't the point. There were lots of things she didn't know about him and, although many of those things might never be revealed, some of them probably should be.

He wanted her to know about his family, his background. This was why he needed her to go to Chicago with him, so he could show her. A lot of what had made him was rooted there and many of the places that fed into that had been destroyed over the years, but not everything. He needed her to see and he needed to tell her before he could progress this relationship to where he really wanted it to be.

In his time, Jack had done some things that he was ashamed of, things that provoked regret and remorse. Those things could haunt him and he felt diminished by them. He had been debating telling Sam some of this for a while now.

This urge to confess scared him because it wasn't like him. Normally he kept his mouth tightly buttoned. There was something about this relationship with Sam that made him… something. He wanted it to be real and honest and as open as it could be, given that he was Jack O'Neill and crap at all of that stuff. It was fundamentally important to him that she married him with eyes open about the kind of man he truly was because he didn't think she really knew.

There were some things he probably could never tell her, and some that might be difficult to put into mere words, but he thought he could make a start. After their lovemaking the thoughts about marrying her prompted him to ponder what he should tell her and how he should start. No time like the present. They had been lying in a silent embrace for a long time and Sam started when he spoke.

"I love you, you know that don't you Sam?"

"Yes I know it."

He sighed, letting her go and lying on his back.

"What's wrong, Jack?" she asked, sensing his unease.

"I'm just thinking," he paused for a considerable time and she wondered if he needed her to prompt him into speaking what was on his mind and then he spoke again. "There are so many things you don't know about me."

"Important things?"

"I don't know."

"I think I already know all the important things, Jack, the things that make me love you, that make me want to lie here in your arms."

"Do you? I wonder."

"Then tell me. Tell me what you want me to know."

"It's all stuff I never talk about. I don't know if I can."

"Then don't, not unless you're ready Jack. You think I'll love you less for things that happened in your past?"

"I don't know."

"I find it hard to believe I would. You were in special ops and I'm pretty sure you did some things that were awful and possibly dubious. They might even be things I wouldn't like to imagine you doing, although I've got a pretty good imagination. I've known you a long time and have seen so many facets to you over those years. I can't imagine anything you could tell me that would make me stop loving you."

"How about respecting me?"

"Jack…?"

She let the query hang in the air between them but he said nothing so she snuggled alongside him and folded an arm around his body comfortingly. Sam was wondering what had suddenly brought on this crisis of confidence in her lover.

"I can't imagine losing my respect for you either," she added when he continued to remain silent.

"I think I'd hate that more than anything, Sam," he admitted eventually. "You know I suffered four months of hell in an Iraqi jail as a POW?" It was a rhetorical question, as he knew she did, although she lacked any of the detail. She stroked his skin tenderly and could see it still prompted some painful memories.

"It was pretty hellish," he continued, staring at the ceiling and not daring to look at her. "I was tortured very badly: starved, beaten, deprived of sleep, solitary confinement, a little box…" he shook his head in horror at the memory of the small box they had forced him to spend hours in, scrunched up tight because that was the only way you could fit, and unable to move. That was the whole point. "Electric…" he shuddered and so did Sam, "I'm not sure how much of that I really wanna remember, or talk about."

"Then don't," she said.

"I was meant to assassinate someone over there, Sam. That's what I was there for." He stopped, waiting to see if she reacted.

"And?" was all she said, her voice level and holding no tones of horror.

"Ironic, as the guy I was meant to kill ended up as my torturer. He knew that's what I was there for, don't know how, but he did. He got a real kick out of causing me pain."

He felt Sam shiver and plucked up the nerve to look at her. He could see nothing but love in her eyes, and curiosity, and that encouraged him to continue. Here came the kicker.

"I got him in the end when I escaped. I got the bastard and I got a real thrill out of that. I made him suffer first and it wasn't pleasant. It was the only time I ever really enjoyed killing someone. I'm good at it, a damned expert, but I never took pleasure from it. Took pleasure from being good at it, but not from the act itself. Might get that pleasure again if I ever got my hands on that bastard Baal."

Sam gave him a reassuring squeeze to ease the sudden trembling she could feel running through his body at these thoughts. If this was what he was saying, she wondered what he wasn't saying. Worse, much darker thoughts than he expressed, of that she had no doubt. She found that disturbing, but not for them and their future, only for him and his soul. Sam believed in Jack when he failed to believe in himself.

"You hate that you got pleasure from it?" she asked.

"Yes. I'm ashamed of it Sam. Sometimes I can kinda excuse myself by remembering that I was probably a basket case at the time, but it doesn't stop me hating myself for it. I never wanted to be a man like he was. I didn't want to become him. I saw how close I could become, how easily I could be that man. It scared the shit out of me. That person, he's still inside of me and probably always will be. I don't want that person to come anywhere near you."

"I don't know what to say," she responded after some thought, "I've seen some glimmerings of that man over the years, Jack, but you aren't that man. You never have been and you never will be. I can't tell you that the thought of that man doesn't scare me, because it does. But does it make me love you any the less, respect you less? No, it doesn't."

She kissed him softly on his cheek and forced him to look her in the eyes.

"You see?" she said and he looked and saw, and what he saw made him turn on his side and take her in his arms again. "What made you bring it up now, Jack?"

"I don't know. I-I just needed you to know. I really hoped you'd understand, Sam, but what if you didn't?"

"Then I'd probably be walking out of the door in disgust around about now. I'm not going anywhere. You won't get rid of me that easily. 8 out of 10 for effort, Jack, but you have to try harder."

"You really are something, Sam. Special."

"How did you deal with it, Jack? Afterwards?"

"Sara. She helped me through it."

"Did she ever know?"

"No. You are the only person who knows. I never want anyone else to know. She was amazing when I got back here. Patient and understanding. I was pure hell to live with for a while but she did it and eventually I came out of the other end of it okay - mainly okay. I still bear some scars here and there and I don't mean physical ones."

"You never saw a counsellor?" Jack snorted derisively in response.

"Sure I saw one of those, under orders. Think I told him about that? You're kidding, right? They never knew half of what really happened over there. I just played along. You know me Sam. It was Sara who did it, not a freakin' counsellor."

"Do you still love her?"

Jack looked at her in surprise at the question wondering how she could think that.

"No, not in the way you mean." It wasn't a vehement denial and was all the more powerfully true because of that. "I'll always love her in some way. How could I not keep a small place for her in my heart? She saved me with her love for me. We were happily married for 10 years. But I love you Sam. You have my heart now, and have done for a long time. Never think otherwise. Does it bother you? What I said about her I mean?"

"Only a little bit."

"It shouldn't but I guess I understand why it would. We shouldn't talk about exes, huh? So not supposed to do that."

"I'm glad you did. I'm glad you told me all that."

She felt closer to him than ever after those revelations. What she felt now only confirmed her belief that this relationship with Jack was forever. She was truly and deeply committed to him and loved him like she never had anyone before.

Sam had believed herself to be in love before, but it had never been like this. Only the contrast told her that. This was something so very different. Here was a man she really could spend the rest of her life with. Everything that had come before was a sham by comparison.

She tried not to think about what he must have suffered at the hands of his jailers. It was too awful to contemplate Jack in so much pain and despair. She'd seen him suffer many times, and every time it tore her apart, but she was guessing from the little he had revealed that this torture had been far worse than anything she had witnessed.

He'd referred to the box. She'd heard about that and it was hard to imagine how painful that must be; days on end in the smallest of small spaces, unable to move. When you got out it was impossible to unravel yourself. That's what she'd heard. The damage… how had Jack kept himself sane? Electricity too. She'd heard about the kinds of things they did with that too. The genitals were a favored target for the painful shocks. How had Jack kept himself whole?

The notion made her want to weep but instead she clung to Jack hoping that their mutual warmth would comfort them both. How could she condemn him for wanting to hurt the man who had done those things to him, or for taking satisfaction from it?

Jack had feared she would condemn him, that much was clear. He hadn't used the word satisfaction, though; he said he'd taken pleasure from it. That was altogether different. Even so she was unable to judge him too harshly for that, or to judge him at all. She wasn't in a position to judge him.

He had lived through something terrible and come out the other side of it a good man. That was the truth of it. Everyone has his or her dark side, but deep down Jack was good. Despite his guilt at his feelings of pleasure, maybe that death by his hand was what had made him able to live beyond it. That was a thought provoking concept.

They fell asleep in each other's arms both engrossed in their different, while also similar, thoughts about their future together. Jack slept well, reassured by her reaction to his reluctant but necessary confession. First step concluded. Now to get on with the rest of the show.

When Jack waltzed into the Pentagon with Sam on his arm he felt very proud. They were a striking pair and people noticed. Another notch for his reputation. After her meeting she strolled along to his office.

"Is he expecting you? I can't see an appointment, Colonel," his secretary said defensively.

"I'm sure he'll be pleased to see me if you tell him I'm here. He is kind of expecting me. I wasn't sure how long my meeting would last.

When Jack came out of his office and pulled her into a hug and kiss in front of everyone outside, Sam was as surprised as they were. She hadn't expected that in this place.

"Listen up folks, this is Colonel Sam Carter," he announced to the assembled staff. "She's, well…special so let's just say that I expect her to be treated right whenever she's here, okay?"

A number of open mouths greeted that statement and Sam was fairly sure she also spotted some disappointment in the face of one of the women.

'Too late, sweetheart, he's mine,' she thought possessively and smiled up at Jack brightly.

"So can you get away?" she asked.

"Not yet. Sorry, honey. You wanna go home and wait? I might be a while. Or go do something? Shopping? Whatever?"

"I'm sure I can find a way to pass some time. How long?"

"At least a couple of hours," he said regretfully.

"I'll go visiting."

"Visiting?"

"Catch-up with some folks I know around here. Call me on my cell?"

"Sure honey."

He kissed her briefly on the lips and she leaned into his ear and whispered.

"Shown me off enough yet, Jack?" Clearly she was amused.

"I don't know what you mean," Jack replied with wide-eyed innocence and a cheeky smile.

In reality, of course, he knew full well what she meant and was looking forward to being the subject of gossip amongst the staff who worked there. He figured he lunchroom would be full of it for days. Good for the ego, the soul and his reputation. He liked that and Sam knew it. It was good of her to play to it for him and she made a little more of it before she left.

Her lips lingered on his cheek and she briefly stroked his neck before taking his hand in hers and giving it a squeeze.

"Can't wait until later," she said with a wink, smiling charmingly at the open-mouthed throng. With those words she turned and was gone, and Jack smiled dreamily.

It wasn't until much later that Jack found out one of her visits was to General Grafton. She dropped in on the off chance he was there and he had been delighted to see her, offering her coffee and a few moments of his precious time. He was flattered by the younger woman's attentions even if she did appear to belong to Jack O'Neill. If that ever changed, Mike Grafton would be ready and waiting. However, he wouldn't hold his breath. He could tell how she felt about the lucky man just by looking into her eyes at the mention of his name.

Jack revealed to Sam that Grafton had backed off just a little. They still butted heads, but it seemed slightly less antagonistic. He wasn't sure whether it was because 'wily' had become his CO, or whether it was due to Sam's intervention on his behalf at the party. She never had told him what they'd spoken about and he guessed she probably never would. All he knew was that he was grateful to get the guy off his back. The petty arguments had been pissing him off and at least the two men had less of those now.

Sam had pondered the broadening and strengthening of contacts for Jack's sake. Gladys Fox told her a thing or two about that when they last met. She had called Gladys to tell her she would be in town, but this weekend was not a good one for the Foxes, which was disappointing. She knew Gladys would be on her side and advise her about how best to help Jack in any way she could.

Jack believed he was in the twilight of his career and that retirement would beckon swiftly, but Sam wasn't so certain. If that was how it panned out, if it was what he wanted, then fair enough, but if there was more, and he wanted that, she would do everything within her power to help.

Sam was determined to consolidate Jack's currently much more favourable position with Grafton and this is why she paid her surprise visit now. Once she had charmed him for a while she paid a visit to an old friend.

Like Sam, Betsy Sheridan was an Air Force brat and they had been close friends. Betsy and Sam's fathers had worked together. They didn't keep in touch as much these days, but they'd had many reunions over the years and each time it seemed like they'd never been apart. Betsy was another person who Sam regretted not seeing more of. There were too many of those in her life.

Betsy managed to get away from her office for a while so they could play catch-up over coffee and her eyes widened when Sam told her whom she was dating.

"Jack O'Neill? The Jack O'Neill, with two lls?" she nearly spluttered her coffee everywhere. Sam nodded with a smile. "You mean that's been going on for a few months and you never rang to tell me about it. How could you?"

"So you remember?" Sam queried.

"How could I forget, particularly when he ended up as your CO? I thought that was pretty cool, and weirdly coincidental, but dating? Dream come true, huh?"

"Betsy, it isn't like that. We were just kids when all that happened."

"Hormonal and fanciful teenagers you mean."

"Yeah. Doesn't seem quite so fanciful now, does it?"

Sam smiled wistfully, recalling the incident – the first time she had ever encountered Jack O'Neill. She had never mentioned to Jack the fact that they had met years before the SGC had even been created.

Betsy and Sam had been playing around the base, poking their noses in where they shouldn't be. They were 13 years old and didn't yet consider themselves too old to play childish games. Betsy was chasing Sam who ran out into the road, right in front of a jeep. The brakes screeched to a halt and Betsy ran over to Sam, horrified. The driver leaped out, equally horrified, running around to where Sam lay in front of his jeep. The two girls looked up and he shone above them as an angel, the light behind him like a halo around his head.

"Are you alright?" he asked, crouching down to Sam.

"I must be dead," she responded and fainted, believing this vision was an angel come to take her to heaven. When she came round she was laying in the back of the jeep, the driver holding her gently and Betsy leaning over her looking concerned.

"Am I in heaven and you're an angel?" Sam asked

The driver laughed and then his face settled into a huge grin. Sam's heart thumped at the sight of that glorious smile and she looked into his deep brown eyes and fell in love.

"No way am I an angel and you are very much alive young lady, luckily for you – and me. For crying out loud, you ran out right in front of me. I could have killed you. I don't think there is any serious damage, but I ought to get you to a nurse to check you over."

"No! My dad will kill me if he finds out I've been playing round here."

"Mine too," Betsy concurred.

"And rightly so. What were you two doing messing around where you have no business to be?"

"We're sorry Captain, sir. If you don't tell our dads we'll never do it again. We promise, don't we Betsy? Hand on heart."

"Hand on heart?" he said, placing his hand over her heart and her hand on his. "Now that is a serious promise. I'll hold you to it."

When the huge grin turned into something a little more lopsided, and he added a wink, Sam thought she was going to faint again.

"We'll be good, honest," promised Betsy.

"You will? Then what more can I ask? Can I give you two young ladies a ride home?"

"Oh, yes please!" Sam said hastily," Can I sit up front, next to you?"

"Sure you can."

He took her hand and then helped her into the passenger seat with Betsy beside her. Betsy giggled all the way home, noticing Sam's reaction to the man, and Sam ignored her, simply staring at him infatuatedly. Jack O'Neill was amused, not failing to notice.

When they got to Sam's house he helped her out of the jeep like a real gentleman and kissed her cheek, rubbing it with his thumb affectionately.

"You will be more careful, won't you? I would hate to see any harm come to a beautiful young lady like you. You have a lot of hearts to break when you're older," he teased and Sam swooned.

"I promise. Hand on heart," she grinned, shyly.

"Good enough for me. What's your name sweetheart?"

"Samantha Carter."

"I'll be watching out for you," he replied getting back behind the wheel.

"What's your name, Captain?" Sam asked.

"O'Neill, Jack O'Neill. That's two lls, by the way," he chuckled

"Will you promise to be careful too?" Sam asked.

"You betchya. Hand on heart," he grinned, turning the ignition on and driving off. Sam stared after the jeep until it disappeared from view.

"I'm going to marry him when I grow up," she declared to Betsy.

"Marry him? He's way too old for you."

"Is not,"

"Is."

"Is not."

"Is"

"One day he won't be," she replied dreamily.

"Huh?" Betsy said puzzled.

Sam brought her thoughts back to the present and grinned inanely at Betsy.

"So are you?" Betsy asked.

"Am I what?"

"Going to marry him of course."

"I'm still holding out for it," Sam laughed.

"Does he remember it?"

"Jeez, Betsy, I never mentioned it to him. He'd think me foolish. I doubt he remembers. Why would he? An infatuated 13 year old drooling at her angel? No way have I mentioned it."

"You ought to."

"Tell him I promised myself I'd marry him when I grew up? You're kidding, right? Maybe one day, after he asks me, or after we're married."

"So he hasn't asked?"

"No, but I think he will. I love him Betsy, and he loves me. This isn't a 13-year-old girl's infatuation. We've known each other way too long for that. He's no angel, believe me!" Betsy laughed in response, and then patted her friend's hand.

"That great Sam. I'm so happy for you."

"Still think he's too old for me?"

"You were right that one day he wouldn't be," Betsy grinned. "General Jack O'Neill. He is sooo gorgeous. Half the women in the Pentagon have a thing for him."

"Really? Does he know?"

"I doubt it very much. Hey, even I go weak at the knees sometimes."

"But you're a married woman Betsy."

"And happily too, but it doesn't stop me from looking."

"Hands off, he's mine," Sam joked.

"Well, as he's been betrothed to you since you were 13 you think I'd have the courage to get in your way? You'd kill me," she laughed.

"See, if I told him I thought that hand on heart thing meant we were destined for each other he'd laugh his ass off," Sam pouted.

"Bet he wouldn't. Well, actually, he might. Oh my, Sam, the whole thing is pretty weird, isn't it?"

"A weird coincidence, as you said."

"Yeah, sure," although Betsy wasn't totally convinced.

Jack called and Sam promised to keep Betsy posted about developments and then went back to his office to pick him up, once more engulfing everyone in that glorious smile before sweeping him off his feet and homeward.

"You're good for a man's soul, Sam," Jack said, pulling her into his arms as they walked away from the building.

After their conversation the previous night he detected nothing in her attitude that worried him and he was pleased about that. Jack could never express in words how good that made him feel. He was honoured by that love and the depth and power of his requited feelings were overwhelming.

As they walked into the apartment Jack noticed the light on his answer phone flashing and much to his surprise it was Jimmy. Sam said she'd shower and change while he called back.

"What is it? Called to brag about your conquest Jimmy?"

"What conquest?"

"Jane. You looked pretty happy as you left last night and I know it wasn't because you were happy losing at poker."

"She agreed to come on a date with me. Nothing happened. I took your advice."

"Oh? And you called me why? I have my own beautiful girlfriend to get to you know."

"I can't stay on long anyway. I'm calling from the office at work. We open soon. Jack, I think she's got me."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it isn't about sex. It's about her."

"Whoa! Slow down, you'll give me a heart attack. Not about sex? Did I hear right?"

"Sounds weird from me, huh?"

"Yeah, although not so much after what you said yesterday. If you're serious, Jimmy, I'm happy for you, really I am. But don't screw with her if you want to be friends because you can't get that back once it's gone."

"I'm nervous as hell, Jack. A date? I don't date, I just… well, you know."

"So why you calling me?"

"You suggested it. How do I date her? How to I make her fall in love with me?"

"You're calling me for advice about women? I am so not your man."

"You and Sam seem more than okay."

"Sure, and I have no idea what I did to deserve that. She's very special to me, Jimmy, and I think maybe I am to her too. Like you and Jane, I've known her for years, but all this… it's still pretty new. I don't know if I'm doing it right or not so how can I advise you, for crying out loud? You can't make her fall in love with you, Jimmy. That either happens or it doesn't. That much I do know."

"I thought about what you said, that there was always something there between you and Sam. That's true?"

"Since we met, but it changed and grew. I was her CO, Jimmy, I couldn't…"

"But it was there. 'Cos I'm thinkin' that maybe this was always there for me too. Trouble is that I don't know about her."

"You never got any sense of it?"

"You did with Sam?"

"Jeez, Jimmy talking about this kind of stuff so isn't me you know?"

"Come on Jack, be a pal. This isn't the first time. What about all that advice I used to give you?"

"Payback time?"

"You are in my debt, man. I introduced you to Sara. Remember?"

"How could I forget? Dammit… okay, yes I kind of sensed it. Tried not to, tried to ignore it, but I knew she had some feelings too. We worked together virtually every day. She was a member of my team. I couldn't avoid feeling it, or knowing she did too."

"Jane and I have had our moments, normally when one or the other of us isn't available. A defence mechanism I guess. Go for it when it isn't possible but chuck your guts up with nerves about it when it is." Jack chuckled in response. That was so Jimmy.

"Moments? You, mean exchanging glances, brush of the hand, all that."

"Yeah, that sort of stuff."

"Piece of cake, Jimmy. Psyche 101. True love."

"Don't be sarcastic, Jack. Gee, you never could take anything seriously."

"I'm only being partially sarcastic. For heaven's sake just be you and it's a cinch. And I mean the real you, not all that Casanova stuff."

"Alright for you to say. Gotta go, Jack. Opening up now. Thanks man."

"I haven't done anything."

"Yes you have. See ya soon. By the way, you know this is the perfect location for a proposal don't you? Great dinner, dancing, down on one knee… if she says yes I'll get you champagne on the house."

"Jimmy! Go work for a living!" Jack put the phone down and frowned at it.

"Everything okay?" Sam asked. Jack looked at her aghast. She was wearing nothing but a towel.

"Yumm…" A feral grin appeared on his face, "Are you nekkid under there ma'am?"

"Sure am."

He approached, placing his hands around her face and pulling her mouth into a kiss, then one of his hands wandered down to the towel and it suddenly lay at her feet. Continuing the kiss, he stroked her back in a way that left her in no doubt as to his intentions.

"Jimmy's in love. For the first time in his no good life, he's in love."

"That's sweet. Must be catching," she replied recapturing his lips in a kiss of her own making.

"I need a shower, Dorothy. Feel like getting wet again?"

"Ummm… Mr Scarecrow, I thought you'd never ask," she smiled.

As a result, a good part of that evening was spent in the shower, but imagination will have to substitute for the rest of that story.


	10. Never Alone: Family

Title: Never Alone: Family

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Contains very minor use of mild language and small references to sex

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: General S9 spoilers

Summary: Jack returns to Colorado Springs for a "family" get together for Thanksgiving, and the couple finally reveal to Cassie that they are dating

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone: Just Visiting

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 73 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: This Thanksgiving based story is a wee bit early – so, sue me! This week's fic challenge on the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo Group was to write a fic to include the sentence "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake" and/or the word 'buttercup' and this story contains both. Once again, this story has not been beta read so I hope I haven't made too many silly errors.

**Never Alone: Family **

It was like being home. As he wandered the corridors, Jack nodded at various people with a big grin on his face. To be polite he had dropped in on Hank Landry first for a short chat, but he wasn't there on business. He was there to pick up Sam and it was a surprise.

She was expecting him, sure, but not now and not there. Just as she had done last time she'd arrived in Washington, Jack was early, a whole day early, and they would be together for well over a week. That was a thrilling and exhilarating prospect.

Before driving to Cheyenne Mountain, Jack had been home to drop off his bags and get the place seeming like it might actually be lived in. This weekend would be spent at his house and he and Sam would host their Thanksgiving dinner there. After that they would be flying to Chicago for the start of their vacation. He was excited about that but also nervous because he knew this was when Sam would find out more about his life, background, and upbringing.

There were some things about his childhood that Jack would rather forget even though they could haunt his dreams. However, Sam had to know some of these things, of that he was certain. She had to know where he came from and what his life had been like.

He paused at her doorway, looking at her lovingly and recalling the number of times he had stood there and simply watched her, back in the days when anything more than being team mates was strictly forbidden. Counting his blessings that those days were now well and truly over he smiled, watching in silence.

Sam was engrossed in typing something on her laptop and he always had adored that look of concentration on her face. She was so beautiful, even in BDUs; she always had been. Before he made a move to say anything she looked up, her eyes widening with a surprised and happy smile.

"Jack! You're here!"

He entered the room and they met halfway, Jack taking her into his arms for a long hug. It always felt so good to hold her. He loved that more than anything else, even sex.

"Surprise!" he grinned.

"A wonderful surprise. A whole day early?" she queried.

"Anything you can do…"

After a while she broke away from the hug reluctantly.

"Jack, I need to finish off a couple of things otherwise I will never relax while we're on vacation. Vacation! How great is that?" she grinned and kissed him briefly, mindless of the surveillance cameras. Who the heck cared anymore?

"Will you be long?"

"Um, I'll try to hurry."

"Daniel and Teal'c around?"

"Teal'c's visiting Ry'ac for a couple of days but will be coming back for Thanksgiving. Daniel? As far as I know he's in his office."

"I'll drop by for a chat and drive him nuts for a while, leave you to it."

"Okay. I'll call when I'm ready."

When he arrived at Daniel's office, the archaeologist was peering intently at an artefact, obviously trying to discern some meaning from it.

"Aren't you gonna put down the rock, Danny Boy, and say hello?" Jack said jovially, knowing that Daniel got irked when he called artefacts rocks, and at being called Danny Boy.

"Gee, some things never change," Daniel replied but he was smiling broadly to welcome his friend, " Didn't think you were due until tomorrow. Good to see you Jack. How's it going?"

"Thought I'd surprise Sam but she's busy so how could I resist coming to annoy you while I've got some time on my hands? I'm fine, Daniel, everything's great."

He picked up the artefact that Daniel had put down and fiddled with it, not looking too closely.

"Careful with that!"

"Alright already!"

Jack put it down again, picking up something else, and Daniel rolled his eyes. His friend would never change but Daniel was very fond of him, despite his infuriating habit of playing with delicate artefacts or whatever else he could lay his hands on, almost literally. That was merely one of Jack's more annoying traits.

"Can't you sit down a relax and minute?"

"I'll sit but as for the relaxing…" Jack shrugged and grinned.

"How are you and Sam?"

"You tell me. She ever talk to you about me?"

"She might mention you from time to time but, if she did, do you think I would tell you?"

"Come on Daniel, let me in on her secrets," Jack teased knowing he wouldn't.

"No way! Looking forward to your vacation?"

"Yeahsureyabetchya!"

"She says you're going to Chicago first, Jack."

"Yep."

"Any particular reason?"

"Home of my birth, haven't been for a while."

"I'm guessing there's more to it than that, but you probably won't tell me."

"10 out of 10, Daniel. Right on both counts."

"So this is one of the things you feel you have to do before you ask her?"

Jack regarded him with slight annoyance. He hated it sometimes when Daniel was being astute. It could be so damned annoying.

"So how are things going with you, Daniel?" he asked pointedly and Daniel sighed. Jack could play his cards so close to his chest that it was frustrating.

"Good, I guess, considering all the turmoil that's going on out there," he gestured to indicate that 'out there' meant out in the universe, not outside of his office.

"Things can still get pretty hairy," Jack commented.

"Do you still miss it Jack?"

"Yeah, of course I do. Riding a desk was never my favourite pastime, you know that, but I do what I must. Maybe it's a good thing. Less risk of death, unless it's of boredom. More likely to live to see Sam again." He smiled.

"You really do love her, don't you?"

"You need to ask?"

"Not really. She's happy, Jack, and it's great to see that."

"Thought you weren't going to tell me."

"I'm speaking from observation only, not from anything she's said. I think I can do that much."

Jack grinned happily.

"I'm glad I make her happy, Daniel. It was never a given."

"You really think not?"

"How ironic would it have been if we turned out not to like each other much when all was said and done, huh?"

"Personally, I never thought that would happen."

"It must be good to have faith."

"You haven't?"

"I have now."

Daniel smiled inside at the dreamy expression that appeared on Jack's face. Jack's cockiness hid a man who was full of self-doubt and Daniel knew that, although it had taken him a while to realise it.

"You're happy too, aren't you?" Daniel queried.

"With Sam? Ecstatically, Daniel. Never truly thought it would ever happen but it did, and beyond my wildest dreams."

"Really? I'm guessing that some of those dreams were pretty wild," Daniel responded with a cheeky grin.

"Yeah, well…" Jack looked a little embarrassed and then broke out into a smile, "Nowhere near as good as the real thing, Daniel, believe me," he sighed slightly wistfully. "So how are things going with you, Daniel?" The archaeologist knew this signalled that the subject of Sam was now closed so didn't push it.

It wasn't long before Sam called to say she'd finished and Jack left Daniel's office to pick her up. Once they were topside he gave her a much bigger hug than his earlier one, and kissed her passionately.

"Didn't feel right doin' that in there," he said.

"I know what you mean."

"I came early so I could have you to myself for a while. I know we're on vacation soon but the next few days are probably gonna be hectic and we won't get any chance to be alone. I take it Cassie is still coming?"

"Yes. I said I'd pick her up at the airport."

"Does she know about us, Sam?"

"Not yet."

"Right. I hope she's okay with it."

Sam couldn't believe that Jack was oblivious to Cassie's feelings on this subject but, once she pondered it, the notion of his ignorance became increasingly likely.

"She'll be thrilled."

"Ya think?"

"I know she will. You and I are a little fantasy of hers."

"We are?" Jack was stunned, "how the heck did I miss that?"

"Probably because you wanted to pretend it didn't exist."

"Yeah, you could be right. I'm a master of that."

"She might get a little over excited, Jack. Just thought I'd warn you. That's why I haven't told her yet."

"Are you happy to tell her now? We can reorganise stuff if you…"

"No! I want us both to stay with you over the weekend. Just remember she's only a teenager."

When they saw her walking towards them at the airport next day Jack whispered to Sam.

"I thought you said to remember she's a teenager. That apparition there is a young woman. Wow, Sam, she looks great!"

"Uncle Jack? I wasn't expecting to see you!" Cassie screeched delightedly, hugging him, and Sam mouthed 'told you so'.

"Surprise. You're staying with me over the weekend."

"I am? What about Sam?"

"She's staying with me too."

"What?" Cassie was shocked, looking from one to the other in confusion.

"Let's get to the car," Jack said, linking arms with her and pulling her away.

"What's going on?"

"Will you scream down the airport if I tell you Sam and I are dating?"

Cassie stopped in her tracks and once again looked from one to the other.

"Dating? Are you two trying to wind me up?"

"No," Sam answered, "It's been a few months."

"What? Oh my god, that's great!" Cassie leaped up and down with excitement, "oh, my god!"

She gave Jack another huge hug and then Sam, whispering in her ear.

"You go girl." Sam laughed and Cassie added aloud, "Wow, I can't believe it. That's so cool!"

Later, back at Jack's when she walked into the living room after unpacking, she caught them smooching. Cassie couldn't have been happier as she watched her two favourite people canoodling when they thought no one was looking. They looked so great together, and so in love.

She'd waited for this to happen for years and almost gave up hope. When Sam got engaged to Pete Shannahan Cassie had been stunned. As far as she was concerned it was Jack and Sam or nothing. Sam had been quite defensive about Pete, avoiding the subject of Jack altogether and, although Cassie tried to tell her it was a mistake, it seemed she wasn't listening.

Now, watching the couple looking so happy and in love warmed her heart. She couldn't have asked for a better Thanksgiving, unless it was Jack announcing their engagement or walking Sam down the aisle. Cassie suspected that both of these things were a possibility in the future and that pleased her.

During Sam's "getting married to Pete" phase she had cursed that her mom wasn't alive to tell Sam what was what. Cassie was convinced that she would have, and in no uncertain terms, regulations or no regulations. Now the regulations no longer stood in their way. No Pete and no regs.

The real problem, as Cassie saw it, was that Sam lived in Colorado Springs and Jack lived in D.C. Still, love conquers all, or at least that is what Cassie wanted to believe, albeit naively. Jack and Sam were such a cute couple. Cassie coughed to alert them to her presence.

"Hey, Cassie," they both greeted her with a smile.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you guys… well, you know," Cassie said.

"C'mere and give us a hug, Cass," Jack invited her to join them, so she did.

"I'm glad you're pleased, Cassie," Sam said.

"Pleased? That's an understatement. You should have done this years ago," Cassie complained bluntly.

"We couldn't, but now we can, so there you go," Jack said confusingly, kissing Cassie on top of her head.

"You guys are the best. This is going to be such a great Thanksgiving."

"Don't be so sure. Sam's cooking," Jack joked and winked at Cassie. Sam slapped him playfully on the arm and then kissed him briefly on the lips.

"And you're helping, remember, Mr Sc…?" She stopped short at calling him that nickname in front of Cassie. Somehow she considered it was something intimate between them. Jack squeezed her gently in acknowledgement of that as if he totally agreed.

"Oy!" He said exaggeratedly, "That means I get the blame for any burned or undercooked bits," he added in an aside to Cassie, who laughed. "You women are sneaky that way."

"You are so wicked, Uncle Jack."

"Yes, I am, and proud of it," he grinned.

"I can help as well if you like," Cassie offered.

"We'll all do something, okay?" Sam agreed.

"Yeah, cool!" Cassie exclaimed with delight.

Cassie was thrilled when Jack later went off to do some chores, leaving her alone with Sam.

"So why didn't you tell me about you and Jack?" she asked excitedly, "What have you been waiting for?"

"Cassie, do you really expect me to call you whenever I get a new man in my life?"

"New man? This is Jack we're talking about. Doh!"

"I wanted to… I wanted… dammit, I just wanted to be sure everything was going alright before I got you all excited about it. I know you always wanted this, Cassie. You made that pretty obvious sometimes."

"You wanted it too! Oh no, don't look at me like that. Don't even bother to deny it."

"Okay, you got me on that one," Sam grinned.

"Are you very much in love?" Cassie smiled dreamily.

"Yes."

"Oh, that's sooo exciting!" the younger woman shrieked.

"Keep your voice down. This is girly talk. We don't want Jack to hear," Sam whispered conspiratorially.

"Alright," Cassie whispered back, putting a finger to her mouth, indicating silence. "So hasn't he asked you to marry him yet?"

"Cassie! No, he hasn't."

"He hasn't?" Cassie looked disappointed, "He will, won't he?"

"You'd have to ask him that."

"Okay, I will."

"Don't you dare, Cassandra Frasier," Sam said with a look of horror on her face.

"Why not?"

"He might think I asked you to. Please don't Cass," she pleaded, "promise?"

"Yes, I promise. He knows you love him, right, so what difference does it make?"

"Well, of course he knows… it just isn't right to ask him that kind of thing. I don't want him to feel pressurised into it in any way."

"But you'd say yes if he asked, right?"

"Too right I would. He'll ask."

"You really think?"

"Yes I do. Maybe not for a while yet, but he will."

"What's taking him so long?"

"It's not that long, Cassie."

"All those years and it's not that long?"

"All those years don't count. This is different. One day you'll get it, I promise you will. Talking of which, how are things on the boyfriend front?"

"Great way to change the subject."

"Well?"

"Oh, Sam, I met the most adorable guy. You'd love him. He's just sooo dreamy, and with brains too, but not geeky." Cassie prattled on excitedly and Sam listened. It seemed that she wasn't the only one who was in love.

Later, Cassie got her chance to be alone with Jack but, before she could open her mouth to chatter on about Sam, Jack took her in another direction.

"So who is this new guy Sam tells me you met?" he asked.

"You aren't going to give me a third degree type father impersonation are you?" she queried.

"When have I ever done that? Anyway, what's wrong with taking an interest in the boys in my gal's life?" He smiled impishly and Cassie looked coy.

"He's not really my new guy, but I hope he's gonna be soon."

"Oh?"

"There's this other girl at college who seems to think that she owns him."

"She's his girlfriend?"

"She wishes. Buttercup hates me because she knows he likes me, although she pretends to like me for the same reasons."

"Buttercup? That's a name?" Jack looked aghast and Cassie tittered at his facial expression.

"Pretty icky, isn't it? I think her mom and dad are in the music business or something like that. I guess they thought it was cool."

"Buttercup? There is no way on earth that could be cool."

"You're so right! She's very pretty, though, with designer clothes and all that, but I'm the one with the brains."

"You've got those alright. Does this guy like brains?"

"Put it this way, I don't really think he's into airheads."

"So as you've got both beauty and brains you think you have a shot with this guy, whatever his name is?" Jack grinned.

"His name's Chris. You think I'm attractive Uncle Jack?"

"I just told ya, you're beautiful, Cass."

She blushed bright red and Jack suppressed a chuckle.

"You should see his face when she says something stupid. She thinks she's being smart but you can see he thinks she's dumb. So she looks at me in this way that says like 'see, he thinks I'm the cute one' but I don't think he's thinking that at all."

"Uh, huh?"

"It was like the other day she was raving on about alternative medicines trying to pretend she knew what she was talking about, because Chris is into that kind of thing, but she kept saying homopathic instead of homeopathic and she kept repeating homopathic this and homopathic that over and over, which made her sound really stupid, and I wanted to say to her 'Buttercup, for Christ's sake you've got the word wrong, you mean homeopathic but the longer she went on about it the more pissed with her Chris was getting and I remembered that old Jack O'Neill thing…"

"Jack O'Neill thing?" he asked, his eyebrow arched curiously.

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

"Oh? Rule number 3 in the Jack O'Neill Handbook?" he laughed, wondering when he'd said that to her and amused that she'd taken it to heart.

"Well, she was just digging herself in deeper and deeper and making herself look more and more foolish, so couldn't hurt me, huh? Just made me look better."

"Cunning," Jack commented with a wry smile.

"I took lessons from a master of cunning." Cassie looked at him with great fondness and Jack felt a little pleased with himself.

"It's a good rule," he said.

"So what's Rule number 1?"

"Jack O'Neill is always right," he said with a straight face.

"Perhaps I shouldn't take quite so much notice of you," she teased.

"That might be a wise precaution," he grinned.

"Anyway, I'm hopeful about Chris when I get back."

"Tell him he'll answer to me if he…" Jack saw the horrified expression on her face so, to pre-empt her retort, he added, "forget it."

"You can't really be interested in all this girl stuff anyway."

"Yes I am, but if you don't want to talk to me about it that's cool. Glad to hear you're finding my pearls of wisdom useful though," he laughed.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Not a chance! I'm sincerely flattered." He leaned over with a smile on his face and kissed the top of her head

"So, can we talk about you and Sam now?"

"Um, no."

"Oh Uncle Jack, don't be spoilsport. I'm so excited about you two."

"Let you into a little secret? So am I," he confessed and Cassie grinned.

Although she recalled the promise she'd made to Sam, Cassie could not stop herself from asking Jack one of the questions that was uppermost on her mind.

"So are you and Sam gonna get married?" She noticed Jack's cheeks take on a pinkish hue.

"Um, what would you think if we did?" he countered.

"It would be fantastic! And I could be a bridesmaid," she answered enthusiastically. "So are you?"

"Isn't that a matter for Sam and I to discuss?"

"Gee, you haven't waited for long enough?"

"Oy!" Jack hit the flat of his hand against his forehead Homer Simpson style and Cassie laughed, but she realised that she would get nothing further out of Jack about Sam so changed the subject.

Sam gave the place a final once over and decided it met with her approval. It looked very Thanksgiving and she wanted it to be traditional. The house was strewn with autumnal decorations with stars and stripes banners around the rooms. The large dining table was covered with a plain cloth, but with a decorative Thanksgiving centrepiece and stars and stripes napkins, which Jack had bought at the last minute.

The food seemed to be going well and so far Sam didn't think they'd screwed anything up, assuming it ran as planned. The smell of turkey and sweet potatoes permeated the house and it smelled delicious, which was something. She hoped it tasted that way and if the turkey wasn't cooked through, or was too dry, Sam thought she would find a hole to hide in.

Cassie insisted on making cranberry sauce instead of getting it out of a jar, and also prepared the pumpkin pie. It seemed Janet had taught her well. Sam had always envied Janet's ease in the kitchen, something that she lacked. Nothing ever seemed any effort to Janet and this had rubbed off on her daughter. Sam wished it had rubbed off on her too because she was still anxious that she might do something wrong, but Cassie's presence in the kitchen had been reassuring.

Jack, meanwhile, prepared all the vegetables and almost single-handedly put up the decorations and set the table ready for their guests, who now started to arrive. Teal'c was first, followed quickly by Daniel. Cassie was effusive with them both, enthusiastically twittering on about Jack and Sam and what a wonderful couple they were. She was fairly overwhelming and Jack whispered to Sam something about how right she was about teenagers.

Their final guest arrived a little later. General George Hammond, retired, hugged Sam and shook hands with everyone else until Cassie made him feel like one of the family with a gigantic hug. When Jack had called him to say hello and discovered that George would spend Thanksgiving alone this year he had been insistent that he come.

George Hammond was grateful. This year his family were staying with the in-laws. He'd been invited but didn't feel in the mood for that; he never had liked them much and the feeling was mutual. Now he was very glad he had declined because he could spend the day with people who were almost as much family as his real one.

The food might not have been perfect, but was actually very good. Everyone over stuffed themselves, as is the general inclination at these celebratory meals. After his last experience with Sam and Jack, Daniel was abstemious with the alcohol, determined not to get drunk and make himself look like a jerk again. Everyone else except Teal'c, however, got mildly merry.

After dinner, Jack suggested some games to play so they didn't all nod off, as could be likely, and he behaved like an overgrown school kid, making everyone laugh and join in the fun. When they all settled down again he disappeared and Sam went looking. As she walked past the bedroom a long arm shot out and pulled her in, pinning her against the door with a kiss.

"Just a couple of minutes alone, Sam, that's all I ask," Jack said with a smile.

"Anytime, gorgeous. Give me a cuddle."

"Ummm… that's a great idea. I'll be pleased when this chaos is over and we get on the plane."

"Looking forward to Chicago?" she asked.

"Looking forward to being alone with you. Not so sure about Chicago."

"Jack, if you've changed your mind we can cancel and go straight to Minnesota."

"No. You've never been to Chicago and we'll have some fun. It's your kind of town."

"Cue for a song?" she grinned and he chuckled.

Sam could sense Jack's unease about Chicago but, if he still wanted to do whatever it was he had planned, she was the last person to try to persuade him otherwise. Ever since he'd mentioned going Sam had felt on the verge of something significant and it excited her, so she was looking forward to it.

"I could really do with making love to you right now," Jack declared.

"That would be great but I think we ought to get back to our guests, don't you?" she grinned, "Later, I promise."

"I'll take you up on that," he responded, waggling his eyebrows and grinning profusely.

They left to re-join the others and bumped into George Hammond in the hallway.

"Oh, Jack, just the man I was looking for. I was hoping we could have a quiet word," George said.

"Sure, George."

"I'll go play hostess and leave you two to talk," Sam said, disappearing.

"Umm, yes?" Jack asked George curiously.

"Somewhere more private than the hall?"

"Sure, this way." He led Hammond to his den.

"What is it George?" he asked when they sat down.

"Umm… well it's like this… Jack, since Jacob died I guess I've thought of myself as a father figure to Sam. It's up to me to play a fatherly role on her behalf because no one else can," George said and Jack guessed something of what might be coming.

"Is this about us? Me and Sam?"

"Yes, it is."

"I have nothing but good intentions, I promise. Scouts honour."

"You were never a boy scout, Jack," Hammond said with a grin.

"No I wasn't," Jack laughed. "But I think things between Sam and I have advanced beyond the fatherly advice stage."

"If you think I had in mind trying to lecture Jack O'Neill about the birds and the bees then you are wrong, son, because I doubt very much I could teach you a thing," Hammond smiled and Jack remained silent, merely looking at the old General with a curious gaze.

"I just wanted to say how happy I am that you two seem to be making a go of it at last," George continued, "and I think Jacob would have been happy too."

"In other words you're giving us your fatherly blessing?"

"I know you don't need it, but something like that, yes."

"Might not need it, George, but that doesn't mean it isn't appreciated. I'm grateful, really I am."

Jack smiled very genuinely at his ex-CO, speaking what was in his heart. He respected George Hammond more than most people he knew so what he'd said meant a great deal.

"You planning on making an honest woman of her Jack?" Hammond asked.

"People keep asking me that. I love her George, if that's what you're asking, and yes I do, if she'll have me."

"I never doubted you loved her, son. Think I didn't know that while I was your CO?" Jack looked surprised, "I respect you for waiting. You gave up a lot to serve this planet, Jack, and you deserve a lot of respect for that."

"I-I… th-thank you, sir." Jack stammered, blushing.

"Don't leave it too long, son," Hammond advised.

"I don't want to rush things."

"Why not?"

"I need to know it's the right thing to do."

"You know that already, don't you?"

"For me it's the right thing, but what about Sam?"

"I figure she thinks so too. You won't know unless you ask her."

"I'll get around to it one of these days. I want to marry her, very much. I just think, well, she needs to be sure. Not that long ago I was her CO. Going from that to marriage is one hell of a leap."

"Looks like you've come quite a long way already. I'm glad to see you both happy, Jack. It's about time."

"I couldn't have lived with myself if we'd done anything that much sooner."

"You are an honorable man and that is an admirable trait. I figure you might not have cared about your own career, but Sam's… you would never have risked that."

"No, I wouldn't. It was a long time coming, but worth the wait," Jack smiled.

"Well I guess I said everything I need to say, Jack. We ought to get back. I can't keep the host away from his own party. If you ever need anything and you think I can help, you know where I am."

"Thank you sir,"

"How many times…?"

"Sorry, force of habit… George," Jack grinned sheepishly and led George back to the others.

After their guests left Jack, Sam and Cassie sat back in relief.

"It's good to have people round but it's just as good when they've gone again," commented Jack, echoing all their feelings. "I'm tired."

"Why don't you two go to bed and leave me to clear up? Have you packed? Are you ready for tomorrow?"

"We've just about finished packing, Cassie. We don't fly until late afternoon. We've got some time tomorrow to finish up."

"All the more reason for you two to go to bed and let me clear up. Gives you more time tomorrow."

"Are you trying to get rid of us Cassie?"

"I just figured you might want some time alone. People in love are like that," Cassie said cheekily, a big smile on her face.

Jack and Sam grinned, amused by her statement. She was right so they left her to clear away and went to bed.

"That was sweet of Cassie, don't you think?" Sam said.

"She's a wonderful girl. Janet did a great job."

"Yes she did. I still miss her sometimes, Jack. Wonder what she would have thought about all of this?"

"Probably just about the same as everyone else. Must tell you what George said."

He repeated the parts of the conversation he wanted her to hear, mentioning nothing about the marriage discussion.

"I love that man," Sam said when he'd finished. "I'm so pleased he said that. Not that we needed his approval or anything, but it makes me feel good."

"Me too. None of us here today are actually related but we make a pretty good family, Sam, don't we?"

"The best."

They cuddled in silence for a bit longer and then drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a big day. Tomorrow they would be going on vacation. It was something else they need never do alone again and that fact made them both very happy.


	11. Never Alone: Sweet Home Chicago

Title: Never Alone: Sweet Home Chicago

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst, Romance

Content Level: Age 13+. An Adult Only version of this story is available on my site at the above address. See the link in the What's new section on the front page.

Content Warnings: Use of mild language, references to sex and domestic abuse

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: General for S9

Summary: Jack and Sam finally make it to Chicago and Jack reveals more details of his chequered past.

Sequel/Series Info: Part 11 of the Never Alone Series. Sequel to Never Alone: Family

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

Author's Note: The title of this story, and song lyrics used in this fic, are from the Blues Brothers Original Soundtrack version of "Sweet Home Chicago", words and music by Woody Payne. This week's challenge on the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo Group was to include the line 'follow the leader' and/or the word 'Brave' in a fic. As usual, this fic contains both. Fic not beta read, except by yours truly, so please forgive any errors.

**Never Alone: Sweet Home Chicago **

They landed at O'Hare International, Chicago, late afternoon and found their hotel. Jack insisted on doing this part of their vacation in style. They were going onwards to his very basic cabin, so some luxury for a couple of nights would not go amiss. Sam figured their suite was bigger than her house.

"Jack, isn't this a little extravagant?" she asked having looked around the opulent suite.

"Probably. It'll be fun. Look at that bed, as for the bath, sheesh!" he grinned, but she knew the smile hid something. He seemed nervous and distracted.

"I doubt we'll be spending that much time in here," she said.

"I'll ensure we take advantage of the facilities," Jack replied, pulling her towards him for a kiss.

"So we're never going to leave the hotel?" she teased.

"Oh, for a few seconds here and there," he joked.

"So, Jack, are you going to tell me why we're really here?" she asked curiously and damned if he didn't redden just a little at the question. His reply was way calmer than his demeanour.

"We'll get to that soon enough. Let's just enjoy ourselves tonight, okay?"

She nodded so they dressed up for a night out and ate a lavish meal. It seemed Jack O'Neill was out to impress again and Sam wondered why he felt that need. Calm before a storm? She wondered whether her vivid imagination was blowing the purpose he had for this trip out of all proportion. Surely the primary purpose was to be with each other for a few days and they could do that anywhere, but to come to this city right here and now served another purpose; Jack's purpose. No doubt all would be revealed in due course. Sam could be patient.

They set out early next morning playing follow the leader, with Jack dragging her all over the place on a guided tour, hitting some tourist spots, quite a few of which had a resonance with Jack's past. He explained their significance with stories about incidents in his life and she revelled in these tales of his childhood: he had done this with a brother, or that with his friends; sometimes playing tourist in his own city of birth; sometimes teasing the genuine tourists with the disdain of people who were raised in a great city and eyed tourists with suspicion and scorn for having the temerity to take up space on the sidewalk and get in their way.

Of more significance still were the little known places he took her to, the places of true importance: his regular childhood haunts, way off the tourist trail. There was the park he used to play in as a child, near his childhood home; the school he'd attended. It was all a long time ago and some of these childhood places no longer existed, bulldozed to make way for progress and modernity. He would point to a building and tell her what had been there.

Some of Jack's stories had her in tears of laughter. It seemed he had been quite a character as a child. Or Jack might get a distant, thoughtful look in his eyes and go off into a world of his own, remaining silent with whatever memories what he was seeing provoked. That distant look could hold a sad tinge and she wondered what Jack wasn't telling her. She couldn't fail to notice the one fundamental thing he never once mentioned while they were on this whirlwind tour; his parents. It became a glaringly obvious omission and she wondered why and whether he would ever get around to them. The absence piqued her curiosity.

"Let's go in here," he said, pulling her by the hand and taking her into the lobby of a fairly modern but nondescript building.

The lobby housed a series of photographs from various eras showing what had once been on its site and in the neighbourhood. Jack was clearly looking for something and when he found it he commented.

"It's still here. Look Sam," he pointed to a blown up black and white photograph of a dilapidated looking street of brownstones. "It's not there anymore, but that was where we lived," he indicated a specific house in the foreground on the street, "and believe it or not, that's me."

A young child sat on the stoop, his face scrunched up with the onset of tears.

"I was a cry baby back then," he joked self deprecatingly.

"That's you? Wow, Jack, that's amazing. A little piece of history." She studied the photo, taking in every detail. "I wonder whether we can get a copy of it."

"Not sure I want one. I just thought you should see. That's where I come from." Jack frowned, not looking particularly happy about it.

"Humble beginnings Jack?" The area had clearly once been what might considered as poor.

"Yeahsureyabetchya."

He pronounced the well worn phrase slowly and deliberately, very unlike the usual nuance in his use of it, and Sam waited for him to elucidate but he didn't, although she knew there was a purpose to them coming to this place that went way above and beyond what the photograph showed her.

"Jack?" she queried, but he said nothing and she thought she saw him shudder before he spoke again.

"Let's get out of here," was his only reply, his face a stony mask.

She didn't push it, knowing that if there was something he wanted to reveal he would reveal it when he was good and ready and not before. Although she was curious, wanting to know as much about his past as he was prepared to expose, he had told her so much already. He must have his reasons. Jack could be such a private person and Sam did not find that in the least unreasonable. She was willing to wait, a whole lifetime if necessary, and take pleasure from what titbits he fed her.

Later that night Jack took her out for dinner and then they found a jazz/blues club and watched the band. It wasn't necessarily Sam's sort of thing, although she liked some of it, but she knew Jack loved it and found herself warming to the music. When they got outside he took her hand, suggesting they walk along the well lit river for a while. Jack loved the water and had apparently spent hours walking along this river when he was younger, watching the river type activities in awe.

Sam wondered why he had chosen the Air Force and not the Navy, but was very glad he had; they would never have met. She found that thought made her heart quicken with the notion of Jack never having been in her life; she wouldn't have known the difference, but might never have found the kind of love she was now experiencing with this intriguing and wonderful man. She smiled as Jack hummed one of the songs they had just seen performed in the club.

"Oh come on baby,

Don't you wanna go,

Come on baby,

Don't you wanna go,

Back to that same old place,

Sweet home Chicago"

She squeezed his hand and he regarded her with curiosity.

"What?" he asked.

"Humming?"

"Was I?"

"Sweet Home Chicago."

"Oh."

"Even I know that from the Blue Brother's movie, Jack,"

"You've seen that movie?"

"Loved that movie. Hilarious, and the music was pretty good too."

"Cool movie."

Jack found himself feeling very pleased that Sam enjoyed that film. Something else they had in common. Their commonalities, when they discovered them, pleased him because he wasn't sure they had that many of them outside of their work and it bothered him sometimes.

"Thought you weren't that into blues," he added.

"Well, you know I like some of almost everything." She paused for a while remembering her thoughts before she'd caught Jack humming, "Jack, I was just thinking about what my life might have been like if I had never met you." He laughed sardonically.

"Way, way better than it is right now, I'm bettin'."

"Not a chance. I wouldn't have missed one single minute of the time I've spent with you Jack. Not in all the years I've known you and certainly not now."

He stopped and turned to face her, a small smile on his face.

"I find that hard to believe. There's been a lot of pain over the years, Sam, and sometimes I could be pretty nasty."

"Pain serves its purpose, Jack, and you could be hard assed, but nasty? I wouldn't say that."

"You wouldn't?"

"No, and I wouldn't have missed a single moment of it."

His hand reached up to softly stroke her cheek and he kissed her, with love and affection rather than passionately.

"Neither would I," he admitted, "although there are some things I would have probably preferred to have missed."

"And all of them made us grow. They did me, anyway. With the exception of my father you have to have been the greatest male influences in my life."

"And that's good? Sheesh!" he exclaimed self-deprecatingly.

"Why do you always have to put yourself down?"

"I don't."

"Okay, but sometimes you do."

"I'm far from perfect, Sam. I'm no hero."

"Is that how you think I see you?" When he didn't respond she continued, "You are a hero, Jack, but I'm not wearing rose tinted glasses if that's what worries you. I know you have faults. Don't we all?"

He pulled her towards him into a hug and swayed her silently in his arms for a few minutes, moved by her words. This trip to Chicago had made him introspective and he knew that now was the moment to tell her one of the things he needed her to know. He took a deep breath to give him courage, and spoke.

"Where I grew up, that house I showed you today, it was a dump. The neighbourhood was filled with families who weren't that well off and my family was one of those. We weren't starving or anything, but we struggled, particularly as my parents pissed a lot of money away on booze. Both of them drank, they argued, my dad would take it out on me. He'd beat the crap out of me. I had frequent user miles notched up at the local hospital."

"Jack…" Sam's eyes had widened at the notion of what Jack might have suffered from the spite of a drunken, bullying and brutish father. She would never have guessed that had once been his life.

"Don't say anything, Sam, just let me tell you this."

"My mom was usually too senseless to notice or care. She was the type of woman who either got argumentative or overly sickly sweet when drunk, and then she passed out. My dad got violent before he did any passing out. It was an inevitable action following the other. I hated it at home. So I caused a lot of trouble, in the neighbourhood, at school. I was a bad assed kid who took out his beatings on other folks and their property. I needed something to kick the crap out of. God alone knows what would have happened to me if that had continued. I'd probably be serving hard time right now."

He paused and she squeezed him encouragingly. Although he was holding her he wasn't meeting her eyes but gazed out over the water.

"I was the eldest and used to look after my brothers a lot. We spent a lot of time together, wandering the streets, avoiding home as much as possible. When that photo was taken my dad had probably just given me a thrashing, which is why I was crying. Over the years I learned not to cry. I learned to keep it all inside and never show that bastard what I was feeling; how much he hurt me, physically and in my soul. My mom too. I wanted her to love me, but never believed she did. She never acted like she did. Neither of them did. She never tried to protect me from him. They shouldn't have had kids. These days we probably would have been taken into care, eventually; fostered out to some family who may or may not have been any better."

Sam could see he was upset by what he was telling her, even after all these years, although she supposed that wasn't surprising. It made her life sound positively heavenly, and it had been by comparison to that, even with its ups and downs. She caressed his hair encouragingly and in comfort, not thinking it was adequate but unable to think of what else she could do.

"But, one day I stood up to my dad and it was him I beat the crap out of. Well, maybe not the crap, but I did alright although I wasn't really that old now I come to think of it, and he was bigger than me. Guess I always was a fighter. He was a coward and bully and that did it for him. I scared him, so he sent me to live with my grandma and grandpa in Minnesota. I didn't even know them because the family had fallen out years before, but they took me in. It was the best thing that every happened to me.

"I was a tough city boy, dumped in the middle of nowhere in Minnesota, determined to hate every minute of it and raise hell, resentful and filled with hate for everything and everyone. But I loved it there.

"I loved the fresh air and open spaces, the water, the trees. I loved to pretend I was Huck Finn exploring the wilds of the Mississippi, having adventures fit for a book that would enthral other kids everywhere. I loved the cabin and all the little chores you had to do to keep the place warm and maintained. And most of all I loved my grandparents, who taught me to love those things and what love meant. Most of all they taught me about respect. That was one of the best lessens I ever learned. They could easily have hated me, had me taken into care, but they didn't and that changed my whole life. It turned me around."

Sam was silent and stood looking at Jack and then caressed his cheek and pecked him tenderly on the lips.

"I'm so sorry, Jack."

"Don't pity me, Sam, for crying out loud."

"That's not… You think that's what this is? Do you pity yourself?"

"No. What's the point of self pity? There's a lot worse that can happen and I did okay. My only regret is that I didn't get the chance to really beat the crap out of my dad before he died. Probably would have killed him if I had, so just as well, huh?"

"It was brave of you to stand up to him like you did."

"Brave? I seriously doubt that. Probably foolhardy. He might have killed me for trying, but he didn't. It gave me such a sense of satisfaction to realise what a coward he was at heart. But I never thought of myself as brave, not back then and not since either."

"Oh Jack, you are one of the bravest people I ever met in my life. God, I worked with you for years so take it from someone who knows."

"Ya think?" he said with a small embarrassed smile.

"Think? I know! You didn't earn all those medals for nothing." She saw him blush and the fact that he was so modest about his achievements and service record only served to make her regard him more highly, and it always had. It was one of the things she loved about him. She continued, "brave, honorable… so many good things. As I said, a genuine hero. The best, Jack. Without you, we would have been dead, and so might a lot of people on this planet."

She grinned admiringly and his heart leapt at that smile, but Jack didn't respond, merely squeezing her hand in acknowledgement, pleased that she believed it even if he wasn't so sure it was true. Sam never realised how scared he had been sometimes. Scared could be a good thing though; it kept you on your toes and you sure needed that in his line of work.

She must have been scared too but, most of the time, she hadn't shown it any more than he had. Jack had always respected and admired her for that, and for many other things. Beautiful, brainy and brave. What more could a guy want in a woman?

"I could say the same thing about you," he said after a long contemplative silence which Sam hadn't wanted to disturb because she realised that he was deep in thought.

"Aw shucks!" she joked, "What is this, a mutual admiration society?"

"You betchya!" he kissed her cheek affectionately and she shivered with pleasure."

"So, why did you want to tell me all of that, Jack?" she asked.

"Because this is my family. This is where and what I come from. You should know that before…"

"Before what?"

"Nothin'." Jack thought it was still too soon to tell her why. "Just… before this relationship goes much further, Sam, that's all."

"You want me to see all the bad things?"

"Yes, or some of them."

Just as when he'd told her about his imprisonment in Iraq, and its consequences, she wondered what he'd left unsaid. Maybe one day he would tell her. She didn't need to know everything now. She knew enough to be certain of her love for him and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life alongside him, supporting him, and receiving his support in return.

Sam wondered if he knew this was how she felt. One day soon she would tell him. One day soon she would tell him the tale of when she'd met him as a young teenager. Now was not the right time, but it would be soon. She sensed that, suspecting why he wanted her to know; because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her too and thought she had that right. The story was a sad one, but its implication for his feelings lit her heart.

"What about your brothers Jack? How many? What happened to them?" she asked.

"Two brothers, both dead now. One through illness, the other in an accident. I left them behind. I guess that's another regret. I left them behind with that bastard, my father."

"You wish you hadn't?"

"What choice did I have?"

"Not much I guess. Did you keep in touch with your family."

"I tried to keep in touch with my brothers. Not easy because I don't think my parents ever wanted me to. We were close as kids but never were again after I left."

"And your grandparents?"

"Dead for years now, of course, but I loved them a whole hell of the lot and owe them a lot too. What kind of person would I have been without them? I often wonder about that. After I left them and joined up I went back a lot, wrote them letters, kept in touch. My heart broke a little when they died, one shortly after the other. They were my real family and Minnesota was the place of my real birth."

"Our next stop," she said, wondering what else he might reveal to her about that part of his childhood.

"You betchya," he smiled, "although there is one more thing I want us to do tomorrow."

"Secret?"

"For now. I don't want to think about it at the moment," he shivered, "It's cold. Let's get back to the hotel," he said decisively as if he'd had enough of his trip down memory lane. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he started to walk again with a more hurried step.

"Cold, and windy," she commented, "now I know why they call it the windy city. It hasn't let up since we've been here."

"You kind of get used to it," he chuckled, "I wonder what the weather is like in Minnesota?"

"We might get snow."

"If we do I am so going to roll around in it with you, Dorothy."

"Then I hope we do, Mr Scarecrow" she smiled.

"It can get pretty difficult out there in snow."

"I bet, but you must know how to handle it."

"Another thing my grandpa taught me," he grinned, his mind obviously ranging back to those happier days he spent there. "I wish you could have met them. You'd have loved them, Sam."

"You obviously did."

"Yes, I did. They were a great old couple."

When they got back to the hotel, Jack was tired and fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. It had been a tiring day for both of them, starting early with a lot of walking but, for Jack, Sam imagined the emotional drain of the day must have been exhausting. She lay beside him simply watching him sleep, and thinking about his life and her life with him for a long time before settling down, with her arms around him, and going to sleep.

Waking in the early hours of the morning, unsettled for some reason, she realised he wasn't lying next to her and started with worry. Then she spotted him standing by the window and looking out into the moonlit night of Chicago.

"What is it Jack?" she asked with concern, guessing he was probably mulling over his early life in the windy city.

"It's okay honey, go back to sleep."

Of course she had no intention of doing any such thing and got out of bed, walking over to him and placing her hands on his shoulders. Then she started to massage his neck, bending briefly to kiss it. He raised a hand and placed it over one of hers.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Sam," he stated simply, "I so don't want to blow it."

"Why would you blow it?"

"Don't know. Why not? Sometimes I can be a bit of a screw up."

"If you think revealing these secrets of your life is going to blow it Jack, you're wrong. These feelings I have for you, they run very deep."

He turned to face her, a crooked smile on his face but she could see melancholy in his eyes.

"Thank you Sam," he said.

"For what?"

"For being you, for being here for me, for listening, for loving me."

"Always, Jack."

As a gesture of comfort she stroked his bare chest and then kissed him on it. He'd slept naked and had done nothing to cover himself when he got up. She too was naked. Without any further words, she moved her body very close to his, caressing his back, kissing his neck. He realised she was seducing him and the notion pleased him, so he responded in kind. It wasn't long before the gentle caresses turned to passion.

Urging him back to their giant sized bed, she made him lie flat on his back upon it and started to explore his body with her hands, lips and tongue. He responded with whispered sighs, stroking her skin with the tips of his fingers.

Sam hadn't awoken in the mood for sex but wanted to comfort Jack and this was one way she knew how. She would demonstrate her love for him by bringing him some peace and satisfaction. As for herself, she wasn't bothered; if she got her own satisfaction from their lovemaking, all well and good, but this was for him. Hence, she wouldn't allow him to try to make love to her; she had to make love to him. It seemed important.

Jack had such a great body and Sam appreciated every inch of it. He was a handsome man, sexy and muscular, keeping himself fit. She felt lucky to have a man like him to make love to and she adored making love to him, every little thing about it; she loved exploring him, discovering what he enjoyed and what he didn't like quite so much.

So now she went on to seduce him slowly, but surely, careless of her own needs, simply wanting to fulfil his and, afterwards, he took her hand in his and kissed it.

"T-that was… thank you Sam, my darling. Hug me?" he looked at her questioningly and she lay down beside him and enfolded him in her arms.

"I love you Jack," she said, squeezing him gently.

"I-I needed that so much Sam," he confessed.

"I know, my love, I know."

"Y-you didn't…"

"Hush. I wanted to give you pleasure Jack. I wanted to make love to you, to love you."

"And I love you all the more for it," he whispered, caressing her softly.

Jack had such astonishingly expressive hands, with long thin fingers that could work wonders on her body. She loved to watch him using those hands. They spoke much more than his mouth. It was when they stilled that they spoke of danger, their silence a deadly precursor of what was to come.

He used those hands now to give her the pleasure she had denied herself in her need to find a way to comfort him. When, afterwards, it became clear that Jack's sexual desire for her was building up again, Sam suggested they make use of the huge sunken bath attached to their luxury suite. They played games, splashing and tickling each other, and Jack seduced her in the warm, bubble filled water, this time bringing them both satisfaction and contentment.

Sam curled up close to him in the water and they both nearly dozed off until Jack came to his senses.

"Sam, we'd better get out. We might drown in this thing if we fall asleep," he urged.

"Ummm…"

"Tired, honey?"

"Exhausted. Feels good though," she smiled.

"Come on, out you get."

"That was great Jack," she yawned.

"Yeah, it was," he kissed her, urging her out of the bath and they dried off and got into bed, curling up with one another lovingly.

"Ummm… glad we took advantage of that bath," she muttered.

"Told you we'd use all the facilities while we were here," he grinned.

"In the morning we must make more use of this gigantic bed."

"Now that I am more than happy to do. Hush now; go to sleep, honey."

Jack caressed her softly until she fell asleep in his arms and then kissed her on the forehead and stared at her beautiful, peaceful face for a while before closing his own eyes. Despite the bad memories provoked by the day and the introspective thoughts that plagued him, Jack felt happy and safe right there in Sam's arms.

"I love you, Sam," he whispered, although he knew she was asleep and wouldn't hear him. It didn't matter because he knew she understood that he did. He loved her more than he could ever say.

Sam wondered what they were doing at this place. Jack hadn't given her any clues. What secret was he about to reveal, if any?

"Okay, I guess I should really have told you why we were coming here, Sam. Even now I'm not sure I really want to go in there."

"Jack?" She was gripping his hand reassuringly and Jack felt grateful for her unwavering support of him up until that point.

"I-It's my mom. She lives here."

"She's still alive?" Sam was shocked by that knowledge. He had never once mentioned it in all the years she had known him. She had believed that Jack had no living family. It was so typical of the man to have said nothing, even to his closest friends.

"Old but alive, yeah. Can't manage on her own so she lives here. You read so much about these places: abuse of patients, all that. I checked it out thoroughly before I let her come here. She's a little nuts and not very healthy. She's old, drank way too much for years and lived with my father so I guess that was gonna happen."

"Jack I thought…"

"That she was dead. She outlived them all, including that bastard my father."

"Do you see her often?"

"No. Do you think that's callous of me?"

"I don't know Jack. I never lived your life. I'm sure you do what you think is right."

"She was almost as bad as him. She let him do it."

"Did he abuse her?"

"Sometimes. Mainly he took it out on me. After I left I figure he took it out on one of my brothers."

"Maybe she was scared of him."

"Probably. Weren't we all? He was a pathetic cowardly bully. If you stood up for yourself he folded. It took me years to learn that and, once I did, that was my ticket out of there to a better life. So why didn't she learn to do that?"

Sam began to realise just how much Jack had longed and needed his mother to love him and save him but she never had. It saddened her that he had been so unhappy, and so mistreated. It was surprising the man was sane at all given all of that and so much of what had happened since. He was a fighter and rose above it, with the help of his much more loving grandparents. Her admiration for the man she loved increased tenfold with that insight.

Jack was right, she probably would have loved them. He said they had taught him about love and respect and you couldn't get more fundamental than that. Without that, Jack's life would have been so very different. The vision made her shudder.

"I don't know Jack, I wish I had the answer."

"Maybe she just didn't want to," he commented sadly and Sam smoothed his cheek in consolation.

"So you brought me here to meet her?" she asked.

"That about sums it up."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"No, but I have to. I need to. It's been a while. I'll deal with it, Sam, just like I always do."

"I'm here for you Jack, you know that don't you? Never alone," she said with a small smile, fingering the pendant he'd bought her, and he placed his hand over hers and squeezed.

"I know, Sam, and I love you so much for that. Come on, let's go see how the old lady is these days, shall we?"

One of the staff showed them to her room, mentioning that Mrs O'Neill seemed to be in one of her more lucid moods at the moment, and telling them she'd bring along refreshments shortly.

"Who's that?" Mrs O'Neill asked, squinting her eyes to see.

"It's me, mom, Jonathan."

"Jonathan? Where have you been? Your dad is gonna be so mad."

"Mom, dad's dead. Has been for years. Don't you remember?"

"Don't be ridiculous son."

Jack coughed looking awkward and embarrassed. He looked at Sam and she nodded with an encouraging smile. They both sat down close to his mother, Sam keeping a tight grip on Jack's hand in a gesture of reassurance.

"Um, mom, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Sam.

"Sam? She can't be a Sam. She's a woman."

"It's Samantha, Mrs O'Neill, Samantha Carter."

"Samantha? Nice name, my dear. What are you wasting your time with my son for, Samantha?"

Sam felt Jack stiffen at those words and gave him a gentle squeeze, looking into his face. He wouldn't meet her eyes, but she knew those words had hurt him.

"You have a very wonderful son here, Mrs O'Neill," she said.

"No accounting for taste," Mrs O'Neill said testily, "His father doesn't think so."

"Mom, dad's not here."

"Isn't he? Where is he?"

Jack sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair and there was a knock on the door. The care assistant came in with teas, coffees and cake.

"So you decided to come back, Jonathan. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you mom."

"You should never have hit your father, Jonathan. He didn't like that. He's your father."

"But he hit me, mom, he hit me a lot. Why did you let him?"

"Let him? Is it up to me to do something about it? He's your father. He knows best."

"Does he? You're my mother. You shouldn't have let him."

"I could never stop him doing anything, refuse him doing anything. I love him Jonathan. He's my husband."

"And what about me? Do you love me?"

"Why are you asking me that? Of course I do. You're my son. I love all of you."

"Funny way of showing it," Jack retorted bitterly.

"Where's your father?" she snapped at him. "I need your father."

"Mom?"

Mrs O'Neill was getting agitated.

"Who is this woman, Jonathan?"

"Samantha, remember?"

"Why have you brought her here? Your father will be so angry."

"Because I love her and I wanted you to meet her, mom."

"Love her? Don't be ridiculous. What do you know about love at your age?" Jack laughed at that, wondering what she saw when she looked at him. "My dear child," she said peering at Sam, "Jonathan is no good. He's such a naughty boy. You should keep away from him."

"Your son is a very good and decent man, Mrs O'Neill, and I love him. He isn't the naughty boy you remember," Sam said defensively.

"He isn't?"

"No, he isn't."

"Will you tell his father that for me? Jim never would believe me. If you tell him, maybe he'll stop hurting my Jonathan."

"Yes, I'll tell him Mrs O'Neill. You don't want him to hurt Jonathan?"

"Why would I want him to hurt my son? I love my son."

Sam looked at Jack and saw confusion in his face. He obviously had not expected her to say that.

"You're a very beautiful woman, Samantha," Mrs O'Neill continued, "Can you help my son to be a good boy? Maybe Jim will believe you, maybe he'll stop. I want my Jonathan back."

"I'll help Jonathan to be a good boy, Mrs O'Neill."

"Thank you, my child."

Mrs O'Neill turned her face away from them, looking out of the window of her room, and was silent. After that, when either Jack or Sam said something, she failed to respond. In the end, Sam fetched a member of staff who explained that Mrs O'Neill was frequently like that and seemed to move in and out of her own different realities.

"Sam, I think we should get out of here," Jack said after some thought.

"If you want to."

"Not sure I can take any more of this."

"Okay, we'll go."

Jack walked over to his mother and bent to kiss her cheek, but she ignored him and Sam could feel his disappointment. She hoped Jack could comfort himself with the fact that at least she had known who he was, even if she lived in a different time and place. She had said she loved him and she didn't want her husband to hurt him, but that all contradicted the spiteful words she'd spoken when they first arrived. What did you believe?

When they got outside, Sam pulled Jack into her arms for a hug and could feel him shaking. She held on tight, as if his life depended on it, and within a short while he brought himself under control again. Plucking up courage, he looked Sam squarely in the eyes to gauge her reaction. He was letting her see such a different part of Jack O'Neill and he worried that she might not like that person, but saw no sign of that in those bright blue spheres.

"Well that was a monumental waste of time," he said.

"Jack don't be like that. She's old and one day you'll be just like her."

"Oh, I sincerely hope not. You know the thing that scares me most is if I end up like him."

"Your father?"

"Sure."

"That's never going to happen."

"What makes you so sure?"

"I know you. You aren't like that. You were never violent with Charlie, were you?

"No, of course not!"

"Go out and get drunk every night?"

"Well, I drink."

"Jack, you know what I mean."

"No, I don't do that either."

"So, you aren't like him."

"Sometimes what I see inside of me, feel inside of me, scares the crap out of me Sam."

"Then I'll just have to be there to make sure you're a good boy, Jack. I promised your mom, remember?"

"Keep me on the straight and narrow?"

"If I must," she smiled and kissed him tenderly, still holding him against her. "No easy task," she teased and he chuckled.

"I don't get her, Sam."

"She was a little confused, that's all."

"One minute s-she… and then… aw crap! I'll never know what she meant."

"That she loved her son, but simply wasn't able to protect him, Jack."

"Ya think?"

"Don't you?"

"I don't know what to think. I never did know. Let's get out of here. I need a drink."

"If you need to talk…"

"Not right now, Sam, but maybe one day."

"I'll still be here."

"God, I hope so."

They still didn't move, Sam continuing to hold him comfortingly for a long time before they returned to their hotel, assuring him over and over that he never had to feel alone again.


	12. Never Alone: Home Sweet Home

Title: Never Alone: Home Sweet Home

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Romance, angst, sex.

Content Level: Age 13+. An Adult Only version of this fic can be found on my website at the above address. Link in the What's New section on the front page.

Content Warnings: Some use of mild language and references to sex, non consensual sex, rape and domestic abuse.

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: Minor for Solitudes and general S9.

Summary: There's snow in Minnesota… and Jack reflects on his final night in Chicago with Sam

Sequel/Series Info: part 12 of the Never Alone Series. Sequel to: Never Alone: Sweet Home Chicago.

Status: Series.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 68 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: This weeks challenge on the As The Stargate Turns Group was to write a fic including the line "what a ride!" and/or the words 'Bonfire Night' - a quaint English custom, for those of you who don't know, which takes place each year on November 5th the day on which this challenge was issued.

**Never Alone: Home Sweet Home **

Jack opened the curtains a crack and looked out of the window.

"Sam! Come here honey," he said and she got out of bed and joined him.

"Snow!" she cried joyously.

"Yep. Looks like we'll be in for a bit of a fall."

"A roll around in it with my wonderful lover type fall?"

"You betchya," he grinned and kissed the top of her head.

"A snowball fight type fall?"

"Hey, you never mentioned anything about a snowball fight."

"Huh! Worried I might win?"

"As if!"

Jack could feel his excitement mounting, the prospect of rolling around in the snow with her, and having snowballs fights, delighting him. He was a big kid at heart and Sam wanted to be one as well, right alongside him. It was thrilling.

Although he knew that snow could get pretty bad around these parts, the possibility that he might get snowed in with Sam by his side appealed to him. He wondered what "wily" would say if he called to tell him he'd be late reporting for duty because of snow. Maybe not such a good thing. Where was Asgard "beam up" technology when you needed it most?

'We'll cross that bridge…' he thought.

The day they'd visited his mother had been their last in Chicago. The next morning they flew to Minneapolis Saint Paul and drove to the cabin, but not before Jack took advantage of one final thing he wanted to do while in Chicago. The couple went to the opera that last night.

If he was honest, he wasn't really in the mood after the visit to him mom, which had his head spinning every, which way. Sam had helped a lot. She supported him through his brief bleak depression and brought him out the other side as the much happier man she had helped make him.

He couldn't say that he hadn't thought about it over the last few days, but he no longer felt like bursting into tears like the schoolboy his mom seemed to have believed he still was. Hadn't she noticed the grey, for crying out loud? His mother was clearly slightly senile, and he was no longer the son she thought him to be. He'd be okay; Sam saw to it that he was.

So far, this vacation had served to cement their relationship into the thing of substance that he so longed for. He had always believed that this was something special, that the dream existed, but now he was sure. Sam had been nothing short of amazing, accepting and loving him for what and who he was, as well as supporting him. He loved that she was there for him and wanted her to be there forever.

Sam didn't actually mind opera but was not a big fan and had never been to a live performance before, so Jack was pleased that they managed to get tickets for a comedy as opposed to a tragedy. Mozart's "The Magic Flute" was entertaining and a good opera to cut your teeth on if you weren't sure. After the events of the day they needed the laugh, and he believed Sam would enjoy it. He was right, she tittered in all the right places and when they left she was grinning her ass off. Jack's mood, however, remained downbeat and Sam did not fail to notice.

Even the fireworks display they accidentally caught on their way back to the hotel did nothing to cheer him. Sam knew Jack loved fireworks and he seemed exuberant, but she could read between the lines. They watched the exotic display of color in wonder like a couple of kids, holding each other tight in the bitter cold of the Chicago night.

"Wonder what they're celebrating. It reminds me of when I was in England a long time ago," Jack stated. "Huh! I haven't thought about that for a while."

"You were in England? I never knew that," Sam replied wondering where this was leading them.

"They have this weird celebration over there in November called Bonfire Night. There are fireworks and bonfires everywhere. It's great but pretty odd. Why the hell would they want to celebrate the day bunch of terrorists tried to blow up their Houses of Parliament? It's beyond me."

"They celebrate a bunch of terrorists?" Sam queried, "Oh you mean Guy Fawkes Night. I've heard of that. Sure, a bunch of guys tried to blow up the King and they celebrate it every year. I guess I've never given it any thought. Trust you to think of them as terrorists. Maybe they were freedom fighters."

"Yeah, maybe," Jack snorted cynically, "I guess whether you're considered a terrorist or a freedom fighter depends on whose side you're on and who writes history. Never did understand that English thing. Love fireworks, but they're pretty dangerous in the wrong hands. Guy Fawkes. Sure. That's what all the penny for the guy stuff is about."

"Penny for the guy?"

"Kids making effigies of Guy Fawkes and then begging for money for them, just so they can go blow themselves up."

"Oh! You are such a cynic sometimes Jack."

"For crying out loud, fireworks are high explosives. Pretty but lethal. Charlie loved 'em."

Jack looked wistful and Sam squeezed his arm. She wished he hadn't thought of that. Weren't his thoughts dark enough already? Sam would love to have asked him more about his son but it was one of those taboo subjects that you couldn't just bring up. Jack rarely mentioned him but he must think about him a lot. She figured if he ever wanted to talk about him he would.

"So tell me more about this trip to England," she encouraged, trying to lighten his mood, as well as change the subject away from thoughts of Charlie.

So Jack animatedly related some light-hearted stories about that visit, but Sam could still sense that he was deeply troubled and was concerned about his dark mood. She could feel it clinging to him despite the appearance of jollity.

"Jack, are you okay?" she asked when they reached their hotel room.

"Ummm… yes, no, I don't know. Jeez, I wish we hadn't gone to see mom. I don't want to spoil our vacation thinking about it."

"Jack, nothing is going to spoil this vacation. Darling…"

She put her arms around him and hugged lovingly, and Jack gratefully warmed to the feel of her embrace, relaxing into her arms.

"Y-you've been great, Sam, amazing… over the last few days. For weeks actually," he laughed nervously. "Make that, like, forever?" he smiled crookedly and she smiled back.

"I'm here for you my love."

"Yeah, and that's just the best thing… the best, Sam. I'm beginning to wonder how I ever managed without you."

"You never knew what you were missing," she joked.

"You've got that right! Sam…"

He wasn't sure how to express what he felt so, instead, he kissed her, tongue exploring her mouth eagerly, hands starting a frantic seduction. Afterwards, Jack wasn't sure what had happened, or how, but an abrupt change swept over him and suddenly he felt a desperate need for sexual gratification. For the first time since this relationship with Sam had started, it was a totally selfish one. He was mindless of her needs.

Jack was frenetic and feverish and this sexual act did not remotely resemble lovemaking; it was pure self-centred need - a violation. It wasn't exactly non-consensual sex, but it wasn't exactly consensual either. Afterwards,Sam ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind her, desperately in need of a shower. She sobbed silently to herself as she urgently tried to scrub him away. Meanwhile, Jack was coming to his senses and couldn't believe he had acted that way.

'What have I done?' he questioned himself. 'what the hell was that?' He was cursing himself for his actions and, with a heavy heart. went to knock on the bathroom door.

"Sam? Sam, honey, god I'm so sorry. Sam please. Jeez, Sam I don't know what came over me. I've never… crap!"

When she failed to respond Jack's heart sank even further and, terrified of her reaction, he quickly put on his clothes and left their suite, not sure what to do or how to apologise. He found himself in the hotel bar drowning his sorrows but, after a couple of drinks, knew he needed to pull himself together and face it or they might never recover from this. The thought that they might not get past that awful moment of madness scared the hell out of him and he rapidly made his way back up to the suite. Once there he stood outside the door for a long time trying to pluck up the courage to go back in.

In the meantime Sam gingerly made her way out of the bathroom, wondering how to face Jack and how to react to his actions. She was shocked to find him gone and realised he was ashamed and probably just as scared to face her as she had been him. So he should be, but his disappearance worried her. She was confused and didn't know what to do now. Should she forgive him, try to understand? Should she be angry and unforgiving?

She had been so happy, thought they were happy together, and now? She didn't know what to think anymore. That man had not been the Jack she knew and loved but a totally different person and Sam was trying to digest and analyse it.

When Jack finally got the nerve to enter the room, Sam was sitting on the bed and looked up, meeting his eyes. The piercing blue depths stared into his soul and he cracked, sinking to the floor with his head in hands. Sam could hear sobbing, see shaking, and she was as stunned by that as she was by his earlier actions. He was distraught and her heart broke for him. Once again, this was so unlike Jack.

Jack could be dark, Sam knew that, but she was also sure that he would never hurt her in an intentional way. This was an aberration brought on by his emotional turmoil. He'd been much more affected by the memories provoked during this visit then he wanted to admit. Too many bad memories. Finally she reached an understanding with herself about the fundamental nature of Jack O'Neill and this wasn't it. He needed her more than ever right now and she wasn't going to let him down.

"Jack!" she approached him, squatting in front of him but not touching.

"God, Sam, what have I done? I-I… don't know what happened. I don't know what to say to you. I'm so sorry."

"That's a start."

"But it's not enough is it? Maybe I'm too like my father after all. Crap!"

"I don't know what to say to you either Jack," she admitted, "please stop crying. I can't bear for you to…" Ready for forgive and understand, she moved to kneel before him, taking him into her arms and holding him soothingly, letting him cry his heart out. "Get it all out, Jack. I'm here," she whispered.

"How can you bear to touch me? How can…?"

"I love you Jack."

"How can you do that? I'm a bastard. I don't deserve…"

"You're reacting to all those repressed feelings about your mom and dad. It's all coming out now."

"Psych 101?" he said cynically, "S-Sam… that's no excuse f-for…"

"Maybe not, but it's a reason," she said calmly and reassuringly, "Jack, you aren't your father; that isn't you."

"I… shit!"

"Shhh… you don't have to try and explain it. Maybe you can't."

"I can't just leave it Sam. I can't let this go, and neither can you. Life isn't like that. I don't want this to haunt us. I don't want to lose you. Christ! What do I do Sam? I don't know what to do."

Sam didn't respond at first as he shuddered in her arms, the sobbing, his fears and self-loathing tearing him apart from the inside out. Then she held him more tightly, and started whispering that she loved him and he wasn't going to lose her, over and over again. Eventually he calmed, his sobbing ceased, and she pulled back to look into his reddened eyes.

"How can you ever forgive me?" he asked.

"Forgive you? Jack… oh god, at first I was angry, hurt, confused, upset, shocked. One minute you were telling me how great I was and the next, well… You've never hurt me before and… I doubt you'll ever do it again, not after this. I trust you Jack. Totally and completely. When I came out of the bathroom and you weren't here I was worried. The state you were obviously in, what caused you to do that, I thought… I wasn't sure what you would do. I tried your cell and realised you'd left it here. Damn it, Jack, I was scared."

"Of me? I don't blame you for that…"

"No! Not of you, for you."

"For me?"

Jack could hear the pathetic whine in his question and hated himself for it. He so had not wanted Sam to see him like this – ever! If he had realised this visit would throw him off like this he never would have brought her to Chicago. Jack had believed he could deal with it and obviously he couldn't. That surprised him. Everything would have been okay if they hadn't visited his mom.

"I thought you might do something stupid," Sam said.

"I was going to get very drunk, just like my dad." Sam detected the bitter tone in his statement and wondered what was going around in his head.

"But you didn't, you came back to me. You came back to tell me how sorry you were. You had a demon there for a while, Jack, and I know that demon lurks inside of you trying to get out sometimes, but you don't let it, not normally. Today wasn't normal though was it? Today you saw your mom and it brought everything back; it raised the demon."

She was so right and it helped to realise she understood it, even if he wasn't sure he did. His mom had been the final straw. Jack had so much wanted his mom to meet Sam, and vice versa. Sam had to know he still had family and there must have been something in his head about seeking his mother's approval.

He should have known better, she never had approved of him or anything he did, it seemed, although apparently she had liked Sam; it was her own son she didn't seem to like. That was still a bitter pill, even after all these years. Jack was trying to analyse why it mattered but knew if it hadn't he would never have brought Sam to Chicago to meet her. He just hadn't realised quite how much it mattered. It was his mother, for crying out loud, and he wanted her to love him like a mother should.

Sometimes he wondered whether his mother resented him for tying her to James O'Neill, although she claimed to love his dad. Jack had done the math and she had obviously been pregnant when they got married. How the hell that was his fault was anybody's guess but people's emotions aren't logical.

His mom had said she loved him, but he could scarcely believe that. Her memory was faulty and that was probably what she wanted to believe. At the time it certainly hadn't appeared that she'd cared much. He'd probably never forgive her. There were too many scars. His dad had merely been a bully, and the physical pain he meted out was as nothing compared to what his mother inflicted simply by doing nothing. What an irony. No wonder he was so screwed up sometimes.

"Doesn't that demon scare you?" he asked, trying to shunt his unhappy thoughts into a dark corner of his mind.

"Yes, of course it does, but I know you better than that; I know you are better than that. Like I said, I trust you Jack. If the demon comes again, I'll fight it with you, I promise. I should have fought it this time, but I didn't. I let it take you, and me, but next time I'm not going to let it take either of us. I won't give up on you – not that easily.

"Jack, you are a good man. You care. Sometimes you seem not to, but you have to appear dispassionate because you can't afford to do anything else. But I know you care very deeply about things. However painful your past is, it is part of what made you what you are and there is nothing wrong with that man, and a good deal of right. Your natural inclination is to protect. Maybe this is where that comes from. I just wish you hadn't needed to suffer all that pain to make you the person you are. But you got lots of love too, and you have it now - never forget that."

Jack wasn't sure how to react to that declaration of faith in him. Could he have that sort of faith in himself? If Sam could, then why shouldn't he believe? He thought the incident would tear them apart but now realised that it had bound them even closer together.

"Sam, you really are something, you know that? A very special woman. I love you so much and I never wanted to hurt you. If I lost you I think I'd lose myself. You've become part of me. That scares me half to death but it also gives me life. How dumb is that?"

"Not so dumb. Pretty deep, actually."

"I am such a lucky guy, to have found you, to have kept you, to have someone like you love me… so lucky. So happy."

"Happy? Not right now you aren't, but I'd very much like you to be happy, Jack."

"What about you? I know I've screwed up. How much does it change things between us?"

Sam could sense his fear even though his face had become a mask by now. She realised he was trying to exert control over himself, trying not to be weak, or to appear it to her. Sam didn't think that Jack was in the least bit weak. He was human, that's all, and fortunate to have come through his life as a sane man. By all rights he should be a psychopath or manic depressive or something. Instead he was merely human.

It saddened her that he hadn't known his mother's love and it made her happy that he had moved to Minnesota and gained that love from his grandmother. He had needed it. Jack was right to wonder what might have happened to him if he hadn't moved there. The notion made Sam shudder.

Maybe Jack wasn't psychotic as a result of his childhood but he had obviously been deeply affected and still bore the scars.

"It changes them," she replied quickly, eager to reassure him, "but I think it changes them in a positive way, don't you?"

That was true. She had learned so much, good and bad, about Jack on this vacation. It made her feel closer to him and she believed it made him feel the same way. He had trusted her enough to confide something he probably wouldn't admit to many people – loved her enough. That was something very positive as far as Sam was concerned, despite the demon that lurked within the man she loved. That had always been there and, although they hadn't always agreed about everything over the years, she knew him as a fundamentally good and honorable man. That was important.

"Yeah, I guess I do," Jack agreed with relief at this reaction from Sam, and her reassuring words. "Jeez, isn't life ironic sometimes?"

"Pretty much all the time, actually."

"That sounds like something I'd say."

"Yeah, it does doesn't it? That isn't necessarily such a bad thing," she smiled so lovingly that Jack's heart leapt at the sight of it. This truly was the real thing. If he needed it, this was his final proof.

"I've never done anything like that before, not to someone I love," he confessed.

"I'm not sure, but I think there might be a compliment hidden in there somewhere. Another irony." She thought for a brief time and then asked a question she suddenly needed an answer for, "Never with Sarah?"

"No, never. Sheesh, I'm not sure how that sounds. What I mean is… Sam, what I feel about you is so different to how I felt about her. I loved her, of course I did, very much, but… this is more than that. Damn, I wish I could explain it. I wish I understood it, maybe then I could explain it."

"You don't have to."

"I have to try." He paused momentarily trying to give words to his thoughts. "I guess maybe this relationship developed so differently. We've done so much together, Sam, been through so much. I just think that inevitably it's different because it comes from something so different. W-we formed such a deep bond over the years, know so many of each other's secrets. You know Jack O'Neill in a way she never did and never could because I could never tell her, or show her. You I can tell and show because you already know so much, and understand so much. How could she have ever understood, Sam, when she hadn't the kinds of experiences we've had? Does any of this make any sense to you?"

"Yes. Surprisingly, it does. That makes me the lucky one."

"Ya think?"

"Yes, I do think."

After that they held each other silently for a while, contemplating what this evening, the whole day, had taught them about each other and their deep and abiding feelings.

"Jack," Sam said after a reflecting on their conversation, "what did you mean when you said you'd never done that to someone you love? Have you ever done it to someone you didn't love?"

Jack's heart leaped into his throat and he cursed himself for not having chosen his earlier words more carefully. He pushed himself away from her, looking at her briefly before finding that he couldn't meet her eyes because of his shame.

"You have haven't you?" Sam added, knowing it was true from his reaction. Jack had forced sex on a woman? It was almost too incredible to contemplate. "Jack, answer me!" she demanded, her voice raised. He could hear the horror in her tone and quailed because he knew he couldn't lie to her about this. She already knew.

"Yes," he replied, his voice a choked, low whisper.

"Oh my God, Jack! Yes? That doesn't tell me… you need to…"

"Tell you something that will stop you from being disgusted with me?" he interrupted.

"Yes," she admitted.

Sam wasn't happy about doubting him but how could she not after that confession. On the face if it, this was unthinkable, and untenable, but she trusted Jack at a fundamental level. Sam was conflicted for the second time that night but, given Jack's life, his background and childhood, she was not surprised that he had hidden demons. You couldn't live through all of that without them.

"What if I can't do that?"

"I don't know."

Crap! Why did life get so good and then turn around and bite you in the ass? Jack considered what he could say, how he could explain.

"It was a very long time ago and you have to believe that I'm not proud of it. I hate myself for it, Sam."

"So you should."

"It was my first time out fighting the enemy, or the people we were told were the enemy. I was still just a kid really; wet behind the ears. My unit attacked a village. We killed a lot of people that day. It was a bloodbath and it was my first experience of it. It made me sick, elated, a whole mixture of stuff…" he tailed off as if drifting into another world.

"Go on," Sam urged, "Tell me the rest."

"One of the women in the village, a girl really, my CO took a fancy to her. He raped her. I didn't know what to do, how to react. The other guys, they egged him on, cheered, clapped, the whole thing. It seemed they felt like they had earned the right to act as they pleased. I just kept quiet and held back. After he'd done he suggested we take turns, in order of seniority. I was the lowest of the low so my turn was last."

Sam had almost stopped breathing, desperately wanting to find something good in this sorry tale; something that confirmed Jack was the man she believed him to be. She had faith that it was coming and waited.

"The other guys seemed to revel in it, drink it in like a drug. It made me sick to the stomach but at the same time I wanted to be one of them, one of the guys, and there was a part of me who wanted to join in. The demon in me wanted it. Jeez, I'd like to believe I was too young to know any better, but I did know better.

"In the end I figured it was like a rite of passage, my way in to become one of them. So I did it too. Afterwards they all clapped me on the back and said some great ego boosting things, but I looked into her eyes, Sam, and saw her terror and loathing. It was a long time before I could look into my own eyes again after that, without seeing hers reflected there. A long time."

Jack stopped talking. He was unmoving, staring at a spot on the carpet, unable to bear to meet Sam's eyes. When he didn't offer her anything that would confirm her faith, she refused to believe this was all there was to it, that it was so irredeemable, and pressed him to reveal what had happened afterwards. Jack shuddered and drew in a breath, reluctant to go on but unable to refuse her need for more information. His story couldn't stop there because it hadn't stopped there.

"My CO, he shot her in the head," he revealed and could hear Sam gasp with horror. "I had admired him once, and all of them. I thought they were heroes. But I hated him after that, hated all of them. I didn't want to be a member of that unit anymore. In the end, although I knew it would get me into trouble, I reported it, the whole thing, including my part in it. Nothing happened, it was hushed up, swept under the carpet. No one seemed to care. Nothing happened to them, that is, but they didn't take too kindly to the fact I'd reported it.

"They beat the crap out of me and I ended up in a hospital for a long time. At least it got me off that unit. Someone must have liked me because I got out and because of that I ended up in Special Ops. You know the rest, or a lot of it."

Sam realised that he had finished the tale. That he'd reported it redeemed him to a point, but not totally, and she knew that he would feel the same way. It had happened, he had let it, and participated in it, and it would always haunt him.

"So, I guess now you really do know what I'm like, Sam. I told you I can be a screw up. I've done some pretty despicable things and I can't blame you if you despise me for them. That was probably the worst. I never wanted you to know."

"I can see why."

She was silent for a while and Jack wondered what she was thinking. If he made a move to touch her would she shy away from him? That notion made him feel sicker in the stomach than his memory of what had happened.

"So is that it, for us?" he plucked up courage to ask, "Is that the end of it?"

"No."

"No?" his heart quickened with hope, "Sam…"

"Got anymore surprises for me Jack?" she interrupted.

"I-I don't think so. No more bombshells."

"Then no, it's not the end of it. I don't despise you. You got caught up in something beyond your control, but you did something about it despite the fact that it could have ruined your career before it even started, and that you must have known they'd come after you if they got the chance. That was very brave Jack. I can't say I like that you did it in the first place but you redeemed yourself, didn't you?"

"Did I? I tried, but I never really redeemed myself."

"You did, many times over."

"Sometimes I think I'll never get rid of the stench of that day. I raped a young girl, watched her get raped and killed."

"But you aren't a rapist, Jack, despite that. I told you, I know better."

"You think that even after what just happened?"

"Yes I do."

"Jeez, I don't deserve you."

"Yes you do."

Jack tentatively reached out to touch her and when she didn't cringe away his breathing and heart rate normalised again and he placed an arm around her shoulder. When she lay her head in his chest, he knew that everything was going to be alright between them. She meant what she said and he was grateful.

She still loved him, in spite of everything she had learned. That was an astonishing and gratifying thing and Jack wondered how many women would do the same. Not many, but no woman knew him better than Sam did. And now she knew it all, almost all – enough to see into his soul and to know her heart.

Eventually, Sam coaxed Jack to bed and sleep and in the morning asked him to make love to her before they got ready for their flight to Minnesota. At first he seemed almost as nervous as the first time they had made love but, in the end, he was even more loving and thoughtful than ever in his lovemaking. They had turned a corner in their relationship and there was no going back for either of them.

By the time they checked out of the hotel both of them were happier again and neither were haunted by the events of the night before, recognising that it had ended up as a positive thing that had given their relationship more than it had taken away.

Now, they'd had a blissful two days in Minnesota and here was the snow she seemed to yearn for. That made him happy, despite the potential inconvenience. They had plentiful supplies of food, drink and fuel, so would be okay for a good few days.

"Could be hell, but at least it isn't blizzard conditions. Let's hope it doesn't come to that," Jack said, interrupting his own thoughts. No way was he going to do anything else that might mar this longed for vacation and time with Sam.

"It'll be fun."

"You've never been in Minnesota on real bad days and weeks like I have.

"True."

"We'll be okay. I've made sure of that."

"I'm sure you've thought of everything, Jack, you normally do."

They both turned towards the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast and sat in silent contemplation for a while. Over the past few days, Jack had recounted many tales of his youth in this place, and of his grandparents and the friends he'd made once he moved there. Most of these memories were so much happier than what she had learned of his life in Chicago and Sam was thankful that his whole childhood had not been a living hell.

"This is my true home and I love it here," he declared at one point and, given everything she knew, Sam understood why.

While the weather was still fairly clement they walked in the woods surrounding his cabin and she was regaled with stories like the first time he'd ever climbed a tree, pointing out the very tree; the day he'd got very, very lost, and scared; skinny dipping; and even about losing his virginity, which had been on the dock while his grandparents weren't around.

"I so much want to make love to you on that dock one day, Sam. Pity it isn't warmer," he'd said.

"We could try sleeping bags," she suggested saucily.

"When it's so cosy in here? You're kidding, right?"

"Then we'll come back in the spring."

"Yeah, I'd like to do that - a lot."

"Me too."

They grinned inanely at each other for a while and Jack came close to asking her to marry him right then and there, resisting the temptation with difficulty. He had doubts, not about his own feelings, not even about Sam's, but mainly about timing, as well as exactly how to pop the all important question. If he was going to ask when, where and how would be the right time?

Now, he wondered if he was making excuses to put it off and realised the thought of asking her terrified him. Just because she loved him didn't mean she would say yes or that she was ready for that type of commitment, despite everything.

"What's wrong Jack?" Sam asked, noticing his far away look.

"Nothing. Just thinking."

"Care to share?"

He couldn't tell her what he'd been thinking but neither did he want to lie. That so was not the basis of a good relationship. Instead, he prevaricated by kissing her.

"Wanna go back to bed?" she asked with a saucy look.

He had managed to divert her, and what a diversion it turned out to be!

"Why bother with a bed?" he asked, lifting her up so her thighs stretched around his and sitting her on the edge of the table. It was the perfect height for what he had in mind.

"Is this okay for you?" he asked nervously.

"Does it seem as if it isn't?" she countered.

"No, but…"

"After what happened in Chicago, it worries you?"

"Yes."

"If you needed to worry I'd tell you. I promised remember? You don't have to treat me like a delicate flower, Jack. This isn't the demon, this is you. Think I can't tell the difference?"

So Jack made love to her on the kitchen table. There was nothing violent or dark about it. This might be lust, but it was totally unlike the self absorbed act in their hotel room a few days before.

"That was good, great, amazing. What a ride!" he exclaimed, an expression of great joy and satisfaction on his face and then he enfolded her in his arms, picking her up and taking her to the couch and snuggling up alongside her, wrapping them both in a blanket.

"It was… incredible Jack. God, I'm so lucky!"

"Lucky?"

"To have you - and great sex, I might add," she grinned.

"Ya think?" Jack smiled with pleasure at her words.

"You know I do," she responded, curling up closer to him. "Cuddle me Mr Scarecrow."

"That will give me considerable pleasure, Dorothy."

After that they were silent for a long time, both thinking how comfortable they felt in each other's arms. No matter where they were it seemed that when together they were at home and both of them loved that – they loved that a lot.


	13. Never Alone: Where the Heart Is

Title: Never Alone: Where the Heart Is

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst, Romance

Content Level: Age 13+. An adult version of this story can be found on my site at the above address, link in the What's New Section on the front page.

Content Warnings: Some use of vulgar language and references to sex, rape, torture and domestic abuse

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: Brief Candle, Solitudes, Touchstone and general spoilers for S9

Summary: Snow continues to fall in Minnesota as Jack and Sam recall thoughts and feelings about his chequered past

Sequel/Series Info: Part 13 of the Never Alone Series. Sequel to Never Alone: Home Sweet Home

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 76 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: The fic challenge on the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo Group issued on 13 November 2005 was to use the line "But my balls are so much more fun to play with!" and/or the word 'Deal' in a fic/drabble. As usual I have found a use for both, and very appropriately in the case of the sentence - brilliant timing from SA, who sets the challenge. She must have been reading my mind as to what I was thinking for this story.

**Never Alone: Where the Heart Is **

Cuddling Sam under a blanket on his couch at the cabin, Jack was thinking about their conversation.

"I always thought that I was the lucky one," he commented in a whisper, breaking the silence of their long mute cuddle. Sam sighed dreamily and kissed him on the cheek.

"Then maybe both of us are," she replied with a smile, "Good looking, a wonderful man, and great sex. What more could a girl want?"

"Someone a little younger maybe," he said and she stared at him, trying to determine whether the age difference really bothered him or not. She couldn't, so decided to be direct.

"The age gap bothers you?" she asked.

"It doesn't bother you?"

"No. I never even thought about it, but you obviously have."

She spoke truly. To Sam it simply wasn't an issue. Her concerns about age revolved around her own rather than Jack's. What if she couldn't give him the family she suspected he wanted? Sure, women older than her had kids, but that didn't mean that she could or that it would be easy. Shaking off that thought, she concentrated on Jack's fears. She wouldn't voice her own unless they decided to get married – then they would cross that bridge.

"It's crossed my mind."

"Then let it uncross your mind. What, it's 15 years?" Sam didn't think that was a particularly big gap.

"Don't remind me! You never even thought about it?"

"I've never thought it was a problem, no."

"15 years is a lot Sam. When I'm 70 you'll only be 55. It hasn't occurred to you?" Sam had to admit that she had never thought of it like that but the notion wasn't perturbing.

"Not like that, no. Jack why are you so determined to find things that might put me off this relationship?"

"I'm not!"

"Oh? Could have fooled me. All those things about your past and now this?"

Jack stared down at his feet and Sam twisted to face him, her hand reaching to his cheek and turning his face towards hers.

"Jack, I love you, you do know that, don't you?"

"Sure I know it, but love doesn't conquer all, Sam."

"I didn't think we had anything to conquer."

She sighed, letting go of his face and slumping back against the couch. Jack thought he detected a flash of anger in her demeanour.

"Are you pissed with me?" he asked.

"A little. I'm pissed that you have so many doubts about us, about me."

"It's not like that Sam."

"Isn't it?" her lips were pursed into a stony frown.

"Are we going to have an argument? I really don't want to do that."

"Neither do I."

"Sam, honey…"

This time he twisted around to face her and draped his hand around her shoulders, stroking her skin with his fingers.

"I didn't mean… aw crap, I don't know what I meant. I just… damn! I so wish I was better at this stuff."

"This stuff?"

"Communicating my feelings about things."

"You do okay."

"No I don't. I love you Sam. I hope that's enough."

"There's a whole lot more to this relationship than that, Jack."

She wanted to make that hugely important point. Love was only part of it. Intertwined with love was also respect and friendship, two such fundamentally essential things. There was no doubt more than that and she knew words probably existed but would be hard pushed to find them.

"Yes, there is." He pulled her into his arms, kissing her forehead and resting his head against hers. "Please don't be pissed with me."

"Then don't doubt me."

"I don't. Maybe I doubt that my dreams really can come true. I wanted this… I longed for this… for so long, Sam. I-I don't want to screw it up."

"Jack, you are so important to me I'm not sure you even know how much," she pressed a hand against his chest, stroking it soothingly. "Age, none of that stuff matters. What matters is what we feel, how we are together, and that's pretty damned great in my opinion."

"Yes, it is. More than I dreamed possible."

"Then stop worrying about things that aren't going to happen. Live for the moment."

"Okay, I can do that – I think," he smiled. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. I guess it's better to have this stuff out in the open."

"Exactly."

"Then I'm the one who's sorry."

"For being pissed with me?"

"Yes. I don't want you to feel you can't tell me what fears lie in your heart Jack."

"Huh! I would hate to bore you to death," he kidded.

"That seems highly unlikely," she smiled, kissing the tip of his nose and they cuddled lovingly for a long time after that until, much later, Sam ventured a question.

"So you picture us together when you're 70 and I'm 55?"

"I, um, sometimes," he admitted with a flush in his cheeks.

"That's nice," Sam replied, her words belying the thrill that ran through her at the thought of Jack imagining them being together that long.

"Is it?"

"Yeah. I like the idea of sitting on the porch outside holding hands with you and exchanging little loving smiles."

"Even if you have to hand me my walking stick and help me out of my chair?" he laughed but she could see a serous undertone to his question.

"Even then. Sounds like a pretty fair deal to me. 70 Jack? That's not so old. I've seen what you'll be like when you're way older than that, remember?"

She referred, of course, to the incident many years ago when he'd been artificially aged at a potentially lethal rate on Argos. Remember? How could he forget? There were a lot of embarrassing elements to that little adventure that he'd prefer to forget. Sleeping with an alien woman on an alien planet? What had he been thinking? Actually, he hadn't been thinking. It wasn't his fault; he'd been drugged, for crying out loud.

"How could I forget?" he said with a slight blush, which made Sam smile inside as she recalled what had led to that threat to her CO's life. Then he considered more of Sam's words, "A fair deal? Wow, I…" his heart soared in his chest. This seemed so incredible to him and he deeply cherished that love and devotion, "So that picture doesn't scare you?"

"No."

"I'm glad."

He nuzzled up to her, loving her more than ever for those thoughts. If this vacation was meant to be some kind of Jack O'Neill test of Samantha Carter's feelings for him, she had passed with flying colors. Jack didn't consciously think of it as a test, but Sam wondered about it and his need to do it.

A lot of what Jack had recently revealed went a long way towards explaining the man. When she considered what obstacles he'd encountered as a child and while serving his country, Jack had done a pretty fine job of rising above them, admittedly not without scars deep inside but, nevertheless, he was a survivor who lived, not merely survived. That was something to admire and respect.

"I wonder what the weather is doing out there?" she said.

"Think we should take another peek?"

"Well, I don't think we should spend all day like this."

"Ack! Don't see why not," he grinned.

"Jack O'Neill, you are a naughty, naughty man!"

"But you love it, right?" he asked, tickling her gently.

"Yeah, I love it a lot," she giggled.

"Okay, your turn to take a look outside."

"You make it sound like a penance."

"Getting up off your ass is a penance, I just haven't decided what it's a penance for yet. Go look woman," he ordered jocularly, "you're the one who doesn't want to stay here all day."

She pushed back the curtain and squealed with delight at the now relatively thick layer of snow lying on the ground outside. The landscape looked picturesque capped in white and the snow was spluttering at a fairly gentle pace now instead of the heavy fall they had witnessed earlier.

"Looks like that roll in the snow is definitely a runner. Let's get dressed and go outside," she said excitedly and Jack grinned, getting up and standing beside her with his arm around her shoulders.

"Isn't it beautiful?" he said, more of a statement than a question.

The blanket of snow changed the landscape around the cabin and the bright light that reflected off its almost unremitting whiteness enhanced the scene's picturesque aspect. It was a sight that Jack had seen many times but it still entranced him and Sam's obvious pleasure intensified his.

"Yes it is."

"God, I so love this place," he sighed.

"I love it here too."

"You do?"

"It's so peaceful. It must have been really great to grow up around here."

"Hell of a difference between here and Chicago."

"I bet that was a culture shock."

"You could say that. I had good reasons for not wanting to be home with my parents but, for a while, this place seemed way worse than any punishment my dad could even dream of back in Chicago – sending me here was his ultimate punishment."

"Was it something in particular that changed your mind?"

"Lots of little things, but I'll never forget after I'd been here a while… I must have been hell: sullen, rude, ungracious and hateful. My grandparents refused to be put off. I kept expecting my grandpa to get out a big leather strap and whup my ass, or lock me in the cupboard the way my dad used to." Jack had never mentioned anything about being locked in a cupboard before and Sam's heart lurched at the thought.

"Anyway, a few days after I came here my grandpa had me chopping wood out back and I accidentally let go of the chopper and it went flying through the window, shattering glass everywhere. My grandpa and grandma came running out of the house and I was terrified. If I'd done something like that back home my dad would have knocked me into next Tuesday week, so I thought my time had come. I didn't understand that the look on my grandma's face was concern at my reaction, my terror. I thought she was really pissed.

"I cringed as she came near me, almost turned and ran out into the woods, except they scared me more than she did. Then, well, she took me in her arms and hugged me so tight. I think it was then that they must have realised something of the hell I'd been through. So she was hugging me and sobbing her heart out and I enfolded my arms around her and cried like a baby. I hadn't cried in such a long time. I refused to cry. I learned not to cry, not to show my dad anything, but now I cried and…" he sighed at the memory and Sam touched him lightly, moved by his story.

"It made me feel so good: hugging, crying, her crying, knowing she cared enough to cry, knowing I could cry, knowing they wouldn't treat me like my mom and dad did. Things started to change after that; I changed. I decided to lose the attitude and try to enjoy it, and then I grew to love it, and to love them. It was way better than Chicago had ever been."

"That's such a great story, Jack." She decided to be direct and ask what she wanted to know. "Your dad used to lock you in a cupboard?"

Jack met her eyes thoughtfully, unable to recall mentioning that, although it had only been seconds before, and surprised at how much he had confided. His subconscious obviously wanted him to tell her things he had never intended to reveal. He sighed deeply.

"Did I tell you that? I don't remember."

"Just now. You said you kept expecting your grandpa to get his belt to you or lock you in the cupboard."

"I did? Jeez! Sam…" he responded, tailing off as if he had run out of words.

Gently, she laid her fingers on his arm and stroked it, reaching her lips up to his for a brief kiss.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me."

"It seems I already have. I guess I never really wanted to tell you the details, but…" his eyes became unfocussed, looking into a distant nothingness. "He used to do that a lot, lock me in the cupboard, leave me there for hours on end: cold, thirsty, hurting. He'd knock me around for a while and then open the cupboard and throw me in. It was dark in there and smelled like old boots. Sometimes I'd just curl up with fear and loneliness, and sometimes I'd stay defiantly angry.

"In Iraq, when they shut me up in the box, it reminded me of my dad locking me in the cupboard. It was way worse, of course, but I guess I kind of knew how to deal with it by then, in my own way, and I'd been trained to... as much as they can ever prepare you for that. They can't, not really, they just think they can. But when I was a kid… I so hated when he opened that cupboard. I hated that worse than him hitting me. It was a totally different kind of pain. My dad would have done well as an interrogator in Iraq."

"Christ Jack, how did you ever get to be so normal?"

"I'm not normal, Sam, am I? I wish I was. You think that after everything you learned about me?"

It was a good question. He had raped, killed, and tortured his torturer, seeking revenge. He had been beaten, neglected and unloved. The man had been through so much, and she admired his relative normality in the face of it. She thought she'd made that point clear but knew Jack must fear there would be consequences for them and their relationship. He had good reason to fear it. So did she.

When he received no response, Jack turned to look at her and almost seemed to know what she was thinking, or at least what she was thinking about: his shame. Out of all the terrible things he had done in his life, that single act of rape had been the worst. He recalled waking from a nightmare a couple of days before and it had been that moment which had haunted him: that village, that carnage, that young girl's face, filled with terror and hatred, and the sickening laughter of his comrades in arms.

He'd woken in a sweat and turned to look at the sleeping Sam while contemplating that appalling moment. He should have known better, and in his heart he had, but he still went through with it. Jack had asked himself why he'd done that. He'd been the victim of abuse himself, although not of the sexual kind, not as far back as that.

Yet, despite his own experiences, he had dished it out to that young girl and that act was such a bad thing it was off the Jack O'Neill scale of bad things. Sure, he'd had a conscience about it, but the whole thing was just plain wrong. Jack was unable to deny that and didn't even want to try.

Until confessing it to Sam he'd tried not to think about it. Self reflection was something Jack O'Neill fought to avoid: too many bad memories, better to live for now. It was too late for regrets, although not for remorse.

But why? Was he so easily led by the others? Was he too afraid to say no? Did his own violent past thrust him into committing violence upon others? Jack still didn't really know or understand the reasons, only that he had participated in a terrible act and had to live with that.

Reporting it later simply was not sufficient to clear him of sin. He might have been raised as a Catholic but that did not mean he believed that confession washed everything away. To confess might be good for the eternal soul, but not for the one you carry around with you on Earth.

The horrific beating he had received at the hands of his unit had done nothing to cleanse him either, although it had helped, which was kind of perverse and probably had more to do with his father's abuse than anything else. He'd often wondered if he really had deserved those beatings. High self esteem isn't exactly a well known personality trait for sufferers of abuse.

Maybe that was why he'd participated in the rape. He'd so needed the acceptance and praise of others to bolster his own fragile ego. Also, he'd admired his CO and the men in his unit: their acceptance and praise was probably what he had craved more than anything else and he'd debased and dishonored himself to get it. That was pretty pathetic.

It was all so confusing and Jack found it difficult to rake over it trying to discern his motives. Motives don't always matter, actions do and he had acted like them: cowardly bullies, just like his old man. Acceptance and praise? Sheesh!

Jack had been bitter about the aftermath of reporting the incident to his superiors – no punishment for the perpetrators, only a cover up. He should have guessed it would happen. He'd been prepared to face the consequences of his actions, whatever the Air Force would throw at him, because he knew he deserved it, but it hadn't happened. So he had faced the consequences, they were merely different consequences, and he had faced them with equanimity.

Later, with a little more maturity, he reflected that his background could make him go one of two ways: he could become a hateful violator like his father, or he could be a far better man and protect the innocent from violation. Thus, Jack had tried throughout his life to follow the latter course and, for the most part, had succeeded.

Jack's violence was born from orders and honor, not from hatred and bitter, twisted cruelty. He had his own high moral code and followed it. He rarely raised a hand in anger, despite many temptations, and generally pulled himself back from the edge of that dark and bottomless precipice. Jack was proud of having done so. One exception, of course, was his wrathful revenge on his captors and torturers in Iraq. Jack had confessed some of that to Sam, although she didn't know the full story and never would.

He'd told Sam that there were no more revelations but it wasn't true. He'd never revealed anything about his own rape at the hands of his captors in Iraq. It was a humiliating and painful violation, but he believed he deserved every moment of that additional torture. As it was happening, he'd seen that young girl's face, her terror, her hatred, and truly understood the depths of his shame.

Jack's primary torturer hadn't been the only one to suffer a nasty fate at his hands and, if he'd been able to get to the rest, his wrathful revenge would have been truly dreadful to behold. Looking back, he was pleased he hadn't had more success in that department because, if he had, maybe there would have been no going back; that dark, bottomless precipice sure had been tempting. Sara had helped. If not for her... he didn't even want to contemplate that.

Now he had Sam and for that he would be forever grateful. His second chance. God knows, he didn't deserve one, but someone up there must believe he did.

He was ashamed of his actions that night when they'd got back from the opera in Chicago. Another violation, another stain. Sam hadn't merited that treatment and he was still at a loss to know where it had come from. Something inside him was just plain wrong, he knew that and it scared him. It should scare Sam too, and maybe it did but, if so, it seems she was prepared to live with it. She saw so much good in him and that was a marvel.

Never again. That was a promise. He'd rather rot in hell surrounded by the devil's paperwork. That would probably be his fate anyway. Sheesh! Maybe he could save a few souls that way. He smiled to himself at that thought. Jeez, he had a warped sense of humor sometimes.

As these thoughts had run through his head, Sam had stirred in her sleep, screamed, and awoken with a start. He'd reached over to hold her and, initially, she'd shied away. That had hurt, not that he hadn't earned that momentary profound pain but, if Sam couldn't face him, he was lost.

Eventually she'd let him enfold her in his arms and told him about her own nightmare. It reflected his, which was pretty damned spooky to say the least. Although they had originally seemed to pass through that moment with relative ease, probably way too much ease, it appeared that his past would bite them both on the ass after all. Life isn't a bowl of cherries – go figure!

"Sam, please tell me what you're thinking," he'd pleaded after a long silence.

"About the nightmare, about you, about us."

"W-what…? I-I…" He caressed the skin on her arm, unable to vocalise his fears.

"Jack, I'm not going anywhere. I don't like that you were involved in something like that, of course I don't. To a woman that is the ultimate sin. But I told you, that wasn't the man that I know. You aren't him. I've known you for a long, long time and you are not a reprehensible, bullying and violent coward but an honorable and brave man. That's the person I know. All that other stuff? It happened over 30 years ago, in another time, another place, with a different person. And it was part of what made you, you. It shaped you as much as any of those other awful things that influenced your life and made you a good man, not a bad one. You aren't perfect, I know that, but fundamentally you have a good heart. You protect the innocent, and you do it well."

Those final words had surprised Jack because it was what he would have wished to believe about himself and so close to what he'd been thinking only moments before.

"But you still had a nightmare about it. That must mean something. You cringed away from me when you woke up. That must mean something too."

"Just because I accept it as a fact of your past, and love you anyway, doesn't mean it doesn't disturb me. I had just woken up from a nightmare. How else would I react?"

Jack considered those words carefully before he replied and decided to go for the bottom line.

"What does it mean for us Sam?"

"We discussed that. We got closer, didn't we? All of this brought us closer. I feel safe with you Jack – I am safe. You've proved that over and over again."

"Look, Sam, what happened in Chicago… I will never, never ever, do anything to hurt you again. I promise, cross my heart."

"I know you won't."

"That's very trusting."

"Yes it is and that should tell you a lot. Jack, I want us to enjoy this vacation and relax. We have so little time."

"And I guess I kind of ruined it with my self-indulgent trips down memory lane, didn't I?"

"No, and I'm glad I know all of that."

"Why?"

"Because we can be honest with each other. Because we can move on. You need to move on."

"I can never do that totally, but I can try – for you." Sam said nothing in response and eyeballed him. "For us," he added.

"Even better."

"And what about that respect you had for me?"

Sam knew that such a loss would be unbearable to Jack. He craved that from her even more than love or affection, so she hastened to reassure him.

"Jack, I respect the man I'm holding in my arms right now. I respect that person a heck of a lot because you have earned it. You fought your past to become that person, or used it to evolve. You overcame a lot of the crap that you suffered. I admire that."

He searched her eyes for the truth of it and found what he sought, gently kissing the woman he loved so much, and increasingly day by day, to thank her for the words and support. He said nothing more but Sam didn't expect it. These events had made them stronger and bound them more closely than ever before, and that was enough. The subject was closed and he fervently hoped that they could move on from this turmoil.

Now, he waited for her response to his query about being normal, fretting a little despite their previous conversations. He had to get past that. It was so not a good way of continuing what he hoped was a lifetime commitment with this woman.

'Think positive!" he chided himself.

"I told you Jack," she replied after some thought, much of which had reflected Jack's had he but known it. "You have to believe in me and trust me, just as I believe in and trust you."

"I think I can do that," he answered with a small smile.

"Good." She kissed his cheek affectionately and eyed him sadly, continuing on a slightly different theme, "Y-you must have been scared so much of the time when you were a kid. I can't imagine that."

"Yeah, I was scared, but I didn't stay scared. I fought it, and won. Sure I still get scared, but it doesn't rule me because I won't let it. Instead I use it. When I was out there fighting for my country, for this planet, I used it."

"And you wonder why I admire you for it? You used it well, Jack."

"Sure, it's what I was born to do, wasn't it?"

"Yes, I think it was."

Jack cupped his hand around Sam's cheek and rubbed it with a thumb, leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you," he whispered softly in her ear.

"I love you too."

"Right, um, first one out the front door is it!" he grinned, neatly changing the subject, and the mood and tone, and getting them racing to put on their clothes and go play.

Wrapping up snugly, they both ran towards the door but Sam beat Jack out of it by a whisper.

"I am so gonna get you Jack O'Neill!" she shouted as he went loping off for her to chase after him.

"You so are not!" he called back to her.

She fruitlessly chased him through the woods and then he circled back towards the cabin again, thinking he'd evaded her, but Sam was waiting and leapt out at him on his way past. He landed on the ground with her on top of him and they both laughed their asses off for a while, rolling around struggling with each other, playfully.

"So what's my reward for catching you Mr Scarecrow?" she asked, still giggling.

"I'll let you kiss me if you want, Dorothy."

"Dorothy would love to kiss Mr Scarecrow," she grinned, pinning him down and doing exactly that.

"If we stay here for too long my butt will freeze to the ground," Jack said when they came up for air, echoing his words at another time and place, in Antarctica. Sam reflected on that moment and how much had changed since then: their relationship, their feelings, as well as how they had both evolved as people as a result of those long years spent as SG-1.

"Our lips might stick together," she said with a grin.

"I could live with that," Jack chuckled.

"So, snowballs?" Sam enquired.

"This time I'll get you!"

"That's what you think!"

Sam pulled herself up and ran a little way away, gathering snow, and they started a monumental snowball fight all the way back to the cabin, continuing onwards for a while when they got there.

"You've been practising," Jack accused jokingly when he realised Sam was winning hands down at this little game. As he bent to pick up snow, Sam hit him with a gigantic ball and he tumbled over. "Oh, I am so gonna get you for that Samantha Carter," he laughed, quickly scrambling to his feet.

Their game continued and, heedless of the damp and cold, both of them were laughing so much that they ached. This was fun. Sam screeched as Jack felled her by launching himself at her without letting go of his snowball, and her shriek gathered momentum as he stuffed the snow down the back of her neck.

"Jack that is cheating."

"It so is not."

"Is!"

"Is not!"

Before she could protest further, his mouth enclosed hers in a passionate kiss and Sam smiled, capturing his eyes. Having caught him off guard, she rolled over so that she was on top of him and sat astride him triumphantly, shoving a pile of snow into the front of his jacket and down his neck.

"Now who's cheating?" he accused.

"You cheated first."

"Did not!"

"Did!" she laughed and he grasped her weight and pushed so that he was now on top of her.

They were rolling around in the snow just as Sam had wanted and her exuberance and joy was contagious. Besides, Jack enjoyed these childish games. At this moment, he would have been hard pressed to recall an occasion when he'd felt happier. Scrambling up, he grinned and pulled her up after him and into his arms.

"This is fun Jack, isn't it?" she queried.

"Lots of fun."

"See, I do know how to have fun."

"Have I ever said otherwise?"

"Many times."

"That was a long time ago. I guess I was wrong."

"Too right you were. Now, man the barricades. More snowballs!" she exclaimed, struggling to get out of his arms.

"But my balls are so much more fun to play with!" he retorted with a smirk and Sam giggled.

"That is so true, Mr Scarecrow, although only by the narrowest of margins," she teased.

"Ow, that hurts, Dorothy, no need to be insulting," he responded with mock petulance. "You're wet, and you're shivering," he added, his tone changing to one of mild concern, "Um, now we've stopped I'm not sure I've got the energy to start again. I'm getting too old for this."

"Nonsense, General, you are way fit enough. Just feel those muscles!" she squeezed a bicep and grinned, "but I have to admit I'm feeling pretty cold and wet now."

"Wanna go back into the warm?"

"We can always come out again, I guess."

"C'mon, lets get you warm," he said, putting his arm around her and leading her back to the cabin.

"A shower might help."

"Okay. I'll make coffee while you take a shower. Or perhaps some cocoa?"

"Cocoa? Gee, you're not 70 years old yet," she taunted, referring to their earlier conversation.

"Bah! Nothing wrong with cocoa," he muttered with a small smile of satisfaction, loving the ease with which they bantered. As he'd grown older and more cynical, this was so much more than he'd ever believed could happen. Sam neutralised a lot of that cynicism. She was a breath of fresh air in his life and he didn't deserve it. Nevertheless, he had it and really appreciated that fact. Maybe he did deserve something good in his life after all the sacrifices he'd made. He'd paid his dues, many times over. Sam had been right about that. "Now, where'd I put that walking stick…?"

Sam laughed in response, kissing him on the cheek and quickly turning on her heel to leave the room. Once she disappeared for the shower, Jack's thought wandered back Sam's last trip to Washington and the wonderful shower they had taken together. It occurred to him that he too could do with some warmth.

'Screw the coffee!' he thought and hurriedly abandoned what he was doing, quickly going into the bedroom and stripping off and then approaching the bathroom excitedly. He peeked around the shower stall.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked and Sam's face broke into a huge smile. That was answer enough so he stepped right in, taking her into his arms and holding them both under the hot running water, simply swaying her in his arms for a while. Then he kissed her.

"Are we gonna have sex?" she asked with a cheeky grin.

"Do you want sex?"

"Anywhere, anytime with you Mr Scarecrow."

"Should I be flattered?"

"Too right!" she responded, tickling him where she knew he was sensitive.

"Ack! So not fair!" he exclaimed with a titter.

"All's fair in love and war."

"Is it indeed? Right you asked for it," he declared, tickling her back where he knew it counted too.

"Jack!" she exclaimed eventually, "if I laugh too much more today I'm gonna bust!"

"So no more laughing? That's just wrong on so many levels," he teased, grasping her head and pulling her into another kiss.

This time his hands wandered over her body in a much more sensual way and she could feel him responding to the notion of making love. The shower rapidly seemed to be coming one of their favourite places for lovemaking. Afterwards, they held each other lovingly as they recovered.

"That was great sex, Jack," Sam declared.

"It was pretty good, wasn't it?"

"Way more than pretty good. When we started this relationship, then the sex was pretty good. Now? It's in a different league."

Sam recalled her seduction of him the first time she had visited him in Washington and wondered if it would be better next time she did that. She had to try it sometime.

"Why is that? Practice makes perfect?" he asked, interested in her thoughts.

"I guess. More than that. We've got used to each other. We know each other's bodies better, what we like. We're less inhibited. We're in love."

"We were always in love, weren't we?" he queried curiously.

"Probably, but this is more than that too."

"You're right, it is."

They got out of the shower, dressed, and became practical, making lunch and eating it looking out of the window at the snowfall.

"So, will we get snowed in?" she asked.

"Possibly, but it's a bit too early in the year, although who knows what with the freaky weather all over the place? If I didn't know better I'd think the NID was using that weather control thing again," they both paused to briefly remember that particular mission. Harry Maybourne: what a character he was. Love him or hate him he sure could keep you on your toes – always interesting, and exciting. Jack continued, "However much I'd love to get stuck here with you, I'm so not sure that our superiors will find snow an acceptable excuse."

"Yeah, the Armed Forces does have its downside," she grinned, grasping his hand and giving it a squeeze.

Jack was wondering how they would continue to deal with the long distance aspect of their relationship. It couldn't carry on like this forever. If they got married, what then? When he was married to Sara, Jack had frequently been away on missions. That was the nature of his job and they both accepted that. Was this so different? Perhaps not, and forever was one hell of a long time.

The vision conjured by their discussion of the age gap came to mind; the two of them right here at the cabin, old and grey and still holding hands and exchanging loving looks, which is probably all he'd be capable of by then. Well, maybe not quite all… but things sure would be different. It seemed unlikely he'd be up to sex in the shower, for example.

'Have to take advantage of being fit while you can, Jack,' he told himself.

This was a pretty good argument for spending as much time with her as possible now. How long did they have? He made up his mind to spend even more time in the gym, and jogging, to keep himself as active and supple as possible. Sam might not be worried about his age, but he still was… well not worried exactly, but concerned.

"I so wish we had longer together," he opined.

"So do I. But we'll have Christmas Jack. It's not so far away."

"It's a whole month!"

"We'll be okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise," she replied with a small smile.

He reached forward and took hold of the pendant he'd given her for her birthday.

"This was the best deal I ever made," he smiled. "Look where it got me. We might still have been nowhere right now. Think of what I would have missed."

"What we both would have missed. Do you really think we would have been nowhere?"

"I don't know."

"It's hard to imagine, Jack."

"Sure is."

"I never want to be alone again. Not now I've found… this... us," Sam ventured.

"You don't have to be alone, Dorothy." Jack's smile was a shy wisp that made Sam's heart flutter.

"Neither do you, Mr Scarecrow."

They fell silent after that and Jack got to thinking about returning to Washington and being separated from Sam. It was going to be hard but she was right, they would be okay. Even after all the revelations of the past few days and their shared history, both good and bad, they would be fine – great in fact. She held his heart. It was a cliché, he knew, but they say 'home is where the heart is', which meant he was at home wherever she was and however far away. That was a reassuring thought.


	14. Never Alone: Simply the Best!

Title: Never Alone: Simply the Best!

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Contains use of mild language and references to sexual situations.

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9

Spoilers: None

Summary: Up to his armpits in work, Jack is alone in Washington and missing Sam

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Part 13: Never Alone: Where the Heart Is

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 90 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: This week's fic (issued 11/26/05) challenge on the As the Stargate Turns Yahoo Group was to use the line "They're SO Cute Together!" and/or the word 'dustbuster'. This fic uses both and I must confess to being surprised that I found a way to use "dustbuster". Once again, this fic has not been beta read except with my own eyes, so apologies for any errors you might find.

**Never Alone: Simply the Best!**

Jack sighed heavily as he walked through the door of his apartment. It was way after two am and he was exhausted and relieved to be home at last. Things sure had been hectic around the Pentagon lately and only a few days ago he'd been in Antarctica. The snow made him smile and remember his recent vacation in Minnesota with Sam. That had been a great trip, one of the best, despite all the downs, and possibly because of them. There's nothing like some downside to make the upside taste even better, and sweeter!

It was a couple of weeks since their vacation and Jack regretted he'd had so little time to speak to Sam on the phone during that time. He missed her. It was unlikely they would get to see each other before Christmas and that felt like too long to Jack, but he could be patient. She was coming to Washington for Christmas and they were spending Christmas Day on their own in Jack's apartment. He was so looking forward to that. No family, no friends, just Jack and Sam. What a Christmas Day that was going to be!

Of course it had been difficult to make a decision about their Christmas arrangements because there were competing possibilities. Sam's brother Mark and his family had asked Sam to spend Christmas there. That was when she'd told Mark about Jack so, reluctantly it seemed, Mark invited them both - a pretty scary notion as Jack knew that Mark wasn't exactly the Air Force's biggest fan, despite that he had reconciled with Jacob and Sam. He figured that Mark might want to give him the once over and put the family seal of approval (or not!) on their relationship.

Jack had never met Mark and his family and knew it had to happen sometime. Christmas might have been a good time, or possibly a bad one, given how family Christmases could be. Personally, he couldn't recall having had a decent Christmas until he'd moved to Minnesota; but not all families were like his own, thank the lord. Once in Minnesota, Jack's view of how a Christmas should be had totally changed. His grandparents had seen to that.

On the other hand, many of Jack's later Christmases had been spent with a group of guys at some Air Force base or the other, or even on a mission. Once he got married most Christmases with Sara, and later with her and Charlie, had been fine – if not damned great - with the odd stresses and strains he realised that many families associate with Christmas.

So, overall, Jack had mixed feelings about Christmas. He was relieved when Sam suggested they skip Christmas with her family and pay a visit to California at a later date. Clearly she had her own issues with a family Christmas, and no doubt she would reveal those to Jack eventually.

This made him realise that she knew quite a lot about his family and past while revealing little of her own. It was something he hoped would be rectified and, if she didn't offer, he might try probing a little, but not yet. He wondered what dark secrets Sam might have lurking in her closet. They couldn't be as dark as some of his, he refused to believe that was possible, but surely there had to be the odd skeleton or two. The notion was intriguing.

Sam's decision narrowed that list of Christmas possibilities but then there was Cassie. She almost took it for granted that she would spend Christmas with Sam, and maybe Jack too. Also there was Daniel and that small contingent of people they considered as family in Colorado Springs. So, for a while, the Springs was going to be their Christmas celebration location, and they figured the day itself might almost become a duplicate of the Thanksgiving they had all spent together. Neither Jack nor Sam had any objections to that, although Jack had the hidden aspiration to flout family traditions and spend that time alone with Sam.

Thus it was a bonus when Cassie cried off. She was regretful, tearful and filled with guilt when she called Sam to test out her reaction. Sam put her straight very quickly. Cassie had her own life and should live it. Actually, she was kind of happy for Cassie. As predicted, when Cassie returned to California after Thanksgiving, Chris had finally got around to asking her out. Cassie was ecstatic, go figure!

It seemed this romance had taken huge strides very quickly. Sam suspected Cassie and Chris were almost living together already, or at least living in each other's pockets. She had some concerns, of course, but Cassie's happiness was contagious.

It seemed that Cassie and Chris couldn't bear to be parted over Christmas and wanted to stay in California to spend it together, and with friends. Sam had invited Chris to come to the Springs, but their minds were made up. As Chris wasn't spending this Christmas with his own family, Cassie didn't think it right if she pulled him away to spend it with hers. Besides, it was clear to Sam that Cassie liked this idea of how to spend her Christmas.

Fair enough, Sam couldn't blame her for that, but she hated the thought that Cassie might get hurt by this guy Chris and hoped that wouldn't happen. Although she knew that heartache was often an inevitable consequence of relationships at Cassie's age, it didn't stop her being concerned for Cassie. She decided that they should both meet this Chris guy as soon as possible. A trip to California sometime early in the New Year might be a good way of killing two birds with one stone and fulfil more than one family duty.

Jack concurred. His fatherly concern for Cassie was obvious, although he was pleased she'd "gotten her man" as she had wanted. Initially, his reaction was a little on the protective side, but he'd come around to the idea and sent Cassie a text telling her to enjoy herself and promising to type up his, so far mentally held, Jack O'Neill Handbook and e-mail her a copy.

This elicited a returned text :-) and LOL from his adopted 'daughter'. Cassie was thrilled to get the Jack O'Neill blessing. She wasn't sure he was serious about the handbook but thought it would be way cool if he were. In Cassie's mind she couldn't learn about some rules of life from a better person than Jack, although she'd already picked up a few from him along the way.

When it turned out that Daniel had his own secret plans, which the couple were curious about but he wasn't revealing, and Teal'c was planning to be off world, and then George was spending his time with his own family, it seemed they were left with just the pair of them. That suited Jack fine and fitted perfectly with his fantasy. It was Sam who had suggested she go to Washington, which was even more perfect. It meant there was way less likelihood of them getting disturbed on Christmas Day by unwanted callers.

Thus, their Christmas plans were set and Jack had been making his own plans within plans, determined to make this coming Christmas as huge and honkin' and happy as possible.

As he thought about Sam, Jack debated calling but it seemed a bit late, and he was tired, so he ambled slowly to his kitchen and poured a glass of water, gulping it down quickly and heading straight for bed. Jack didn't even bother to turn on the light, starting to strip off his uniform and hang it over the chair, desperate to slip in under the covers and sleep. As he was about to fulfil that wish, he started upon seeing the lumpy outline of a figure in his bed.

"Sam?" he enquired softly, turning on the bedside light.

It was her all right, short blonde hair framing her peaceful repose. He sat beside her sleeping form and simply stared. She wasn't meant to be there, but there she was. He smiled, warmed by her presence. It was good to see her, even if it was in sleep. Jack bent to kiss her forehead and she stirred.

"Jack?"

"Hey," he smiled, stroking her cheek gently.

"Hey," she squeezed his hand, "surprise."

"Sam," Jack pulled her into his arms, "it's a great surprise. I wasn't expecting… you know I'm up to my eyes…"

"I didn't want to regret not coming."

"Regret not coming?" he queried.

"I-I wanted to come. I wanted to see you."

"I'm glad you came."

"You looked tired Jack."

"I am."

"Then come to bed."

"I'll fall asleep," he said, yawning as if to emphasise the fact.

"That's the point."

"But you're here," he whined, like a child who didn't want to go to bed and miss anything. Sam smiled with amusement at his reaction.

"It's gone two am," she said. "Come to bed, Jack. Come and cuddle me."

She pulled back the bedcovers, opening her arms to him, and he gladly got in beside her and allowed her to wrap him in them.

"Sam, I'm not gonna be here much…"

"I know. It doesn't matter. If this is as much as I get it's better than nothing."

"A phone call would have been cheaper," he quipped and she grinned.

"I got a hop, but that's not the point. You can't hold me in your arms over the phone. I can't look into your eyes, or smell you, or kiss you. I've missed you."

"Me too. To go from all that time together each day straight to nothing; that's tough."

"Yes, it is. And that was quite some week."

"You betchya."

"Do you wanna turn the light out?" she asked.

"Can't I just kind of look at my best girl dreamily for a while?" he responded and Sam smiled.

"Jack you're such a sap."

"Yeah, but who'd know?"

"I would."

"You I don't mind knowing," he said, smiling in a shy Jack O'Neillish kind of way.

They held each other silently, not feeling any need for words, eventually falling asleep with the light still on. Some time during that early morning, Jack woke up briefly and stared at Sam for a while with a wistful smile on his face before turning it off again and settling down for more sleep. He felt at peace in her arms and was happy she was there with him. He considered it one of the best surprises of his life and adored her for it.

All eyes turned to Sam when she walked into Jack's office in The Pentagon. As she wasn't there on business Sam wasn't wearing a uniform and she looked hot in her short black skirt and blue blouse. It was simple, but effective, and she hoped for Jack's sake that it would get tongues wagging again and do something for his reputation. She knew he would so love that.

"Is the General free?" she asked.

"He's got someone in there with him at the moment, Colonel Carter, but he shouldn't be long. Do you want to wait?"

"Sure."

"Should I tell him you're here? Is he expecting you?"

"No and no, thanks," Sam smiled. "Don't disturb him if he's busy. I just dropped by to see if he could do lunch, but I know he's got a lot on right now."

Ten minutes later Jack came out, shaking the hand of whomever he had been meeting, and spotted Sam. His face lit up with a huge smile. Another wonderful surprise. It wasn't every day he got such a welcome visitor.

"Sam, what…?"

"Any time for lunch?" she asked and he looked at his watch, shaking his wrist and then looking again as if that action might have created more time in his busy schedule. Sam suppressed a giggle, fondly recalling Jack's apparent obsession with scrutinising his watch on many of their missions.

"Ummm… not a lot, actually…" he replied regretfully.

"Not even for a personal delivery?" she smiled, holding up a bag and wafting it in front of his eyes and nose. He sniffed and his grin broadened.

"Mmmm… smells good. You've found a decent bakery."

"Absolutely. Bagel?"

"Come into my parlour, Sam," he said, closing the door behind them. He was delighted she had brought lunch. No doubt she'd realised he wasn't going to get enough time to go out. "You are the best," he added, "Bagels and…?"

"Take a look," she said, handing him the bag.

"First things first." Taking the bag he placed it on his desk and pulled her into a kiss. "You are full of surprises. Trying to grab as many minutes in my company as possible, Dorothy?" he jested.

"Yeahsureyabetchya, Mr Scarecrow."

"Sweet!"

As they ate they didn't talk about anything of much significance, simply easy banter, which they both loved as they had never been sure it could be like that so easily between them. In the past they had had their moments, but there had also been many uneasy and self-conscious ones. These latter moments were increasingly rare and these days their silences were generally comfortable, companionable and loving ones.

"Cassie called me earlier. She sends you her love," Sam told him.

"What did she have to say for herself?" he enquired curiously.

"She rambled on about that Chris guy for a while," Jack raised his eyes to the heavens at those words, and smiled.

"She's in love?" he asked.

"Seems that way."

"The guy had better not break her heart or I'll be paying him a visit."

"Jack!"

"Well, you know…" he shrugged, "just a few fatherly concerns, Sam. She's got no one else looking out for her anymore."

"Feel you need to do your duty, General O'Neill?"

"More than a duty, Sam. I love her to bits, you know that. I just want to protect her is all."

"I'm sure she'd be delighted to hear you say so, Jack, but you want to protect everyone. It's in your nature."

"Ya think?"

Instead of replying verbally, Sam simply leaned over and kissed him briefly on the cheek and Jack smiled shyly, looking faintly embarrassed.

"Well, Cassie more than most," he declared. "So, anything interesting apart from Chris?"

"Oh, some crazy sounding arts project at UCLA's Hammer Museum. Something to do with astrophysics."

"Yeah? I thought I said interesting." Sam glared at him and, seeing that look of chastisement, he continued quickly, "Okay, I'll ask: an arts project to do with astrophysics?" He faked a gigantic yawn and Sam smiled, but carried on regardless.

"It sounds a little nuts, although Cassie said it was fascinating."

"What is it?" Jack asked, continuing to play along, and Sam loved him for it. He'd probably wanted to switch off at the first mention of the word astrophysics.

"Some German artist or the other who creates models of the cosmos and illustrates the principles of astrophysics using discarded stuff like wood, neon light tubes, dustbusters, carpet remnants, that kind of thing." Sam was guessing how Jack would react to that, and she was right.

"The cosmos made with dustbusters and neon lights? What the hell is wrong with people on this planet, for crying out loud?"

"Weird, I know, but interesting though."

"To an astrophysicist maybe." Jack rolled his eyes scornfully and Sam slapped his arm in jest. "Or an artist. But does it mean anything? I never have understood all that modern art stuff…"

"Who does?" Sam smirked.

"…or astrophysicists for that matter," he continued as if she hadn't spoken, returning her smirk, "although I guess some folks must or what's the point? You're not a fan either? Of modern art, that is, of course." He winked at her in a slightly mocking manner and Sam grinned.

"Not particulary,"she replied, "but I've never really made time to think about it. I might find that particular project interesting. Cassie was enthralled."

"Sheesh! Younger generation. Shouldn't she be doing something better with her time? Getting an education for example?" Sam laughed and Jack looked pained. "Hey, I'm not kidding!"

"I know, Jack. Maybe she's learning something too."

"Sure. How to make crap out of dustbusters!"

"Man, you are so cynical sometimes."

"You're kidding, right?" Although he said it with a straight face, Sam could see the edges of Jack's mouth turning up as he tried to resist a smile.

"And you're ridiculing me," Sam declared.

"Not you. Cassie. Oh, and this artist, whoever he is."

"She'd be deeply hurt."

"No she wouldn't. She knows me."

Sam chose to ignore that and continued to relate what Cassie had said to her.

"Well, she says that the artist wants to subvert the expectations of precise scientific models and question scientific theories as they develop within popular culture."

"Sounds like something from the catalogue."

"Maybe she was reading it from a catalogue."

"I thought she was learning about science, not learning to subvert it."

"A little bit of subversion can do wonders, Jack. We've done quite a lot of that ourselves over the years."

"So we have," he agreed with a small smile and Sam reached out her hand and grasped his, her eyes glistening with merriment.

"You haven't been teasing me have you?" he asked with suspiciously narrowed eyes.

"No, really I haven't. Cassie says there's a couple of pictures on the Hammer website. It's all true."

"What is this hammer thing anyway?"

"An art gallery. It's attached to the UCLA."

"Oh. Totally enthralling, I'm sure."

"No suppressing your joy, is there?" she said sarcastically and they both chuckled.

Jack squeezed her hand affectionately, disappointed that this memorable moment of eating lunch in his office with Sam and exchanging inane and playful chit-chat would be so brief. It would, however, definitely be memorable. He pulled her hand to his lips, kissing it and meeting her eyes.

"I'm so pleased you came," he said, "It made my day; my whole weekend actually."

"Despite that I used the word astrophysics more than once in a conversation?" he nodded with a grin, "Mine too," she agreed.

"Whatchya doing later?" he asked curiously, wondering how she was going to fill in her time while he was slogging away in the office.

"I'm hoping Betsy might be free for coffee, and then I might hang out here for a while, catch up with some folks, I'm not sure. After that I'll go back to your apartment and wait for you."

"I might be late."

"I know."

"I'll try to get away."

"Don't worry if you can't, Jack. I can deal," she beamed. "You've got important work to do, General O'Neill. Way more important than me."

"Ya think? Somehow I seriously doubt that."

He gave her a hug goodbye and showed her out, scurrying off to another meeting, and Sam called Betsy.

"Any time for a coffee?"

"I'll make time. Sam, It's great to hear your voice."

"Meet me in 5?"

"Make it 30? Sorry, I just need to finish up something."

"Okay. 30."

The two friends eventually caught up with each other 45 minutes later and Betsy was breathless and apologetic when she arrived. They exchanged some idle chatter, catching up on the latest with Betsy's husband and family, but Betsy was curious about Jack.

"So when did you get up here, how long are you staying and has he asked you to marry him yet?" Betsy sneered good-humouredly and Sam snorted, rolling her eyes.

"I arrived last night. I'm not even staying the whole weekend. I have to fly back early Sunday morning. And no he hasn't."

"He hasn't? The guy really ought to get on with it. What's keeping him?"

"Betsy!"

"Oh come on Sam. You know you want him to ask." Sam didn't respond to her friend's jibe so Betsy asked, "You're only here until Sunday?"

"Work, work, work. And Jack's up to his elbows in it too. I was asleep when he came in late last night, or I should say early this morning. I doubt I'll see much of him," Sam sighed regretfully.

"He's working over the weekend?"

"Probably."

"And today's Friday. You came all the way up to Washington to see him and you're hardly going to get to see him? Girl, you've got it bad."

"Yes I have, Betsy," Sam sighed. "God, I so hate this. I hate that we don't get to see each other like a normal couple should. We had a great vacation together and then… nothing. I just had to come. I missed him so much. Am I a fool?"

"No, just in love, and that's a good thing Sam, isn't it?"

"Both wonderful and awful. While we were on vacation, I learned so much about him that I didn't know before. After all those years…"

"Is that the awful?"

"No, not really. The awful is wanting to spend more time with him and not being able to. The awful is that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about him and he isn't there. Sure, I learned some things about him that were pretty awful, but it brought us closer together. Perversely, perhaps, but true. No matter what, I still love him. I know he respects, trusts and loves me and that's some of the wonderful. Along with that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I see him." Both women laughed at that comment. Love could be so hellishly circular.

"Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Isn't that the way of love?"

"I don't know, is it? I've never felt anything like this before. I thought I had been in love but this… I'm coming up to 40 years old and I never even knew feelings like this existed. What sort of life have I led? Pretty dull, if you ask me."

"Dull? I don't believe that for one minute. Sam, you have done so much that you really wanted to. You've had your career and that's important to you. Now you've found that other thing you always wanted. Better to have found it now than not at all."

"True."

"Anyway, what about that Pete guy you were engaged to? And what about Jonas?"

"I must have been nuts to even consider marrying either one of them. I loved them in my own way, I guess. I have to believe that. Poor Pete. He could never compete with Jack. It was wrong and, worse, it hurt Jack."

"You couldn't stay a hermit waiting for Jack O'Neill to stop being your CO."

"Betsy, I should have done something about it. I should have got myself removed from his chain of command. I should have done that a very long time ago."

"Do you really regret not doing it?"

"Sometimes… but mainly I guess not. I loved working under his command, I loved the job, and I loved my team. Only problem was that I loved him when I shouldn't have. But I saw him more then than I do now. That's so frustrating!"

"In a totally different way, Sam. Don't tell me that you wish you could go back to that!"

"No, of course not!"

"Ladies, mind if I join you?" a voice broke into their conversation. The women hadn't noticed him sneak up on them. Sam's heart skipped a beat. It was Jack. She looked up and smiled.

"Jack? I thought you were busy."

"I am, but my meeting finished early and a guy can take a coffee break, can't he? A little bird told me you were in here. You must be Betsy," he said, turning on the full charm smile, "I've seen you around. Sam's mentioned you. I'm Jack O'Neill."

"General O'Neill."

"Oh puleeze… let's not have all that crap. You're a friend of Sam's, and I'm not your CO. Call me Jack."

"J-Jack," Betsy stammered and Sam suppressed her amusement at her friend's flustered reaction. Jack was hot, no denying it. "Pleased to meet you. Perhaps I'd better leave…"

"Don't leave on my account. In fact I order you not to leave, Major. I came here to meet you, and sneak in a little Sam time of course." He took Sam's hand in his and kissed it gently, holding onto it and caressing her knuckles with his thumb. "Having a good gossip ladies?" His eyebrows emphasised the question by wandering to the ceiling, leaving his eyes staring directly into Sam's.

"A good gossip about you Jack," Sam confessed, heart thudding silently at his touch.

"Little old me? I'm flattered. I'm really not all that interesting," Jack grinned lopsidedly and Sam laughed.

"Wanna bet?" she said.

"I hope she's been complimentary about me Betsy." He looked over into Betsy's eyes and she melted a little.

"N-nothing but good things, G-Jack."

"In that case she's being way too kind," he chuckled.

"I'm sure that isn't true," Betsy replied. "You know, every time I see you around I feel sure we've met before."

Sam's eyes widened and she kicked Betsy under the table. Her friend merely smiled innocently. Sam was clearly going to go nuts if she spilled the beans about their teenage encounter with Jack O'Neill with two lls, but Betsy hadn't been able to resist the opportunity to wind Sam up.

"Really? I'm sure I would have remembered," said Jack, "Any clues as to where?"

"Not really but I've been around the Air Force all my life so it could have been anywhere."

"Of course, you're an Air Force brat like Sam."

"Brat?" Sam said with mock annoyance, "We are not brats, are we Betsy?"

Sam was relieved that Betsy hadn't revealed her secret but was horrified by Betsy's next words.

"Oh, I don't know, I can remember a few times…"

"None of which will be related now," Sam interrupted, speaking through gritted teeth.

"But I'll take a rain check," Jack winked at Betsy.

"When hell freezes over," Sam countered.

"Well, Sam, that makes me kinda curious…" Jack teased.

"You want my life story Jack?"

"I told you mine. Quid pro quo? Ever heard of it my honey bunch?" he quipped with a sarcastic tone.

"Are you making fun of me, General O'Neill?"

"As if…"

"Your history is so much more interesting than mine, Jack."

"But I don't know that if you don't tell me," he smirked.

Betsy was suddenly feeling a little out of the loop but smiled to herself. These two were so clearly in love you could almost touch it. She was happy for Sam although wasn't surprised that her friend didn't want Jack to know she had mooned over him for months on end.

After their original encounter, Sam had snuck around the base trying to catch glimpses of Captain Jack O'Neill as often as possible, dragging Betsy along with her. They managed to secret themselves into the most ridiculous places so Sam could swoon over him. She was heartbroken when he shipped out. Apart from on one occasion, she had never seen him again until they met each other at the SGC.

Quite a few years after their original meeting, Sam had once glimpsed him in a park and was totally stunned by that sudden appearance. She was considering whether she should try to initiate some sort of conversation with him when she realised he was with a woman and child. His wife and son no doubt. She watched them for a while and they seemed so happy. Later she had called Betsy to tell her about it, which of course is the only reason Betsy knew.

Betsy had been astounded that Sam even remembered the man she'd had a crush on all those years previously. Now, as she watched Sam and Jack looking so happy together, she was wondering about fate and kismet. Life could be pretty strange sometimes. If someone wrote this in a book its readers would think it ridiculous.

A beeping noise came from Jack's pocket and he raised his eyes to the heavens.

"No rest for the wicked. Sorry, gotta run," he said, "I asked to be beeped if they needed me. Seems they do. Sam, see you later. I'll get home as early as I can but don't wait up, honey. Ummm… pleased to have met you at last Betsy." With those words he pecked Sam on the lips and retreated.

On his way out he had to manoeuvre close to a table at which two women sat gossiping, much like Sam and Betsy were. As he approached they were whispering, but his very sharp ears could hear them quite plainly.

"Oh, he's such a hunk, isn't he?" one of them said.

"General Jack O'Neill," the other one sighed, "gotta be one of the hottest Generals in this place, that for sure."

"That blonde must be his wife, I guess. They're SO Cute Together! Don't you think so?"

"Way cute. Lucky woman. I wouldn't kick him out of bed, if you know what I mean."

"Stand in line, Jenny! But it looks to me like he's besotted with her so I don't think either of us would have any luck on that score."

"Mores the pity. I've heard he's a really cool guy, for a General."

Jack glared at them in a way he hoped was a stern Generalish face and they looked mortified and fell silent. Once he'd passed he allowed a small smile reach his lips and felt an all round sense of satisfaction. Cool? Hunk? Hot? Cute together? Wife? It was music to the ears of that particular General. Once he'd passed he strained his ears to hear more.

"Oh my god he heard us, how embarrassing!"

"Must have good ears."

"Looks to me like he might have good everything!"

The two women tittered and Jack smirked with delight. Their exchange was a huge boost to his ego and it pleased Jack that people thought he and Sam seemed like a cute couple. Maybe his concerns about the age gap were groundless after all. He'd often pondered how they looked together and whether he appeared like an old man with a woman who was way too young for him. Apparently not, even though, to his eyes, Sam looked pretty young while he looked, and often felt, damned old.

It looked like his reputation was doing okay – more than okay. Jack's smirk broadened at the notion.

Meanwhile, Sam was smiling at his retreating back and then turned to glare at her friend.

"Betsy Sheridan, you nearly told!"

"I was never gonna tell. I just wanted to see how you'd react."

"Some friend you are."

"You should tell him."

"One day I will, but not yet, okay?"

"Okay. I'm so happy for you Sam. He's nuts about you."

"You think?"

"Well you know he is."

"Yeah, I do believe he is," she grinned to herself and added, "Did I happen to mention he's really hot in bed?"

"You most certainly did not but I can't say I'm surprised. He's pretty hot full stop. That smile is meltingly wow!"

"Mmmm…" Sam smiled dreamily.

"You shouldn't be thinking things like that inside these hallowed walls, Sam. This is The Pentagon, you know." She emphasised the words The Pentagon by making quote signs in the air, which reminded Sam of Jack.

"Can't help myself," Sam tittered, "I sure hope he's not too tired when he gets back to the apartment tonight." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Samantha Carter, hush your mouth!" Sam laughed at Betsy's feigned shock. "Oh, sigh and swoon. I envy you."

"Betsy Sheridan, you have a perfectly wonderful man all of your own."

"You are so right about that. The sexy Jack O'Neill somehow made that fact slip right out of this little brain of mine," she grinned, "Oh my, is that the time?" she added, looking at her watch in horror. "Sorry, Sam, I have to go back to work,"

"No problem. That is one thing I really understand."

"Take good care of that man of yours. He's a keeper."

Sam watched Betsy disappear with a smile on her face. Her friend was right; Jack was a keeper, although it wasn't like she hadn't had a few doubts on and off since he'd revealed that rape incident to her. She hadn't lied when she told Jack she trusted him completely, or that she knew him better than that. On the other hand, a man can't tell you that kind of thing and then you simply forget all about it.

Nevertheless, he was a keeper and keep him is exactly what she intended to do, if at all humanly possible. Somehow Sam knew it was not only possible, but also very probable and, bottom line, she wanted Jack: to be with him, to love him and to be loved by him.

Wondering what to do with the rest of her day, Sam changed her mind about hanging around The Pentagon for a while and decided to go shopping. Sexy underwear. Shoes. Just what the doctor ordered. No matter what time Jack got back that night, she was determined to be ready and waiting.

Sam entered the apartment and flopped onto the couch. Phew, that had been some shopping trip. Now for a bit of pampering.

As the bath ran, she looked for the take-out menus Jack said he left in a draw in the living room. Getting take-out seemed like a plan. Then, if Jack came back before she starved to death, they could heat it up and eat together; if not she would eat alone.

Rummaging through the draw her eyes alighted on a note pad and, seeing her name written in huge letters, she took it out for a closer look. It appeared that Jack had been doodling, probably absent-mindedly, while he was on the phone as there was a phone number written on the pad too. Her name had been written repeatedly, the kind of thing a teenager with a crush might do, and she smiled. Jack could be such a big softie. He could also be a very dangerous man. It was all very paradoxical, but so exciting!

She perused the take-out menus and picked two to decide between later on, putting the rest back in the draw along with the note pad. Then she wandered into the kitchen looking for the candles Jack kept there, lighting up the bathroom with them, and trawled through Jack's CDs trying to find some suitable music to bathe to.

Sinking into the bubbles appreciatively, the hot water and steam made doubly soothing by the flickering candlelight, she thought about Jack. When wasn't she thinking about him these days? Sometimes she wondered, but thinking about him right then and there in the luxuriant hot water seemed like an excellent plan. If she couldn't be with him, she could pretend.

Their vacation had been a hotchpotch of good and bad, mostly good. Jack stories about his childhood had both illuminated and shocked, as had some of the other things he'd revealed. They had also thrilled. Jack opening up to her like that meant so much and she realised it couldn't have been easy for him. He would never have revealed much of that to anyone, friend or close colleague, and she felt privileged that he had done so with her. It was way more than merely significant.

Thoughts of his earlier childhood disturbed her considerably. She conjured a vision of a large overbearing drunken bully taking a belt to Jack, punching and kicking him, and then locking him in a dark cupboard, lonely and miserable for hours. It was a joyless vision. She tried to suppress the images of a village, blood, bodies and a young girl's terror. Jack was rightly ashamed of that incident, although he had done the right thing in the end, and paid a heavy price. But it was an important part of what made him the person he now was, and that person was a man worthy of admiration, respect and love.

Sam recognised that he'd revealed things that he had never wanted her to know and wondered how that made him feel. Did he worry that one day such revelations might bite him in the ass and destroy them? She sincerely hoped not, wishing for him to have the faith in her that she had in him.

Shaking herself, Sam cursed. Those were not the kind of thoughts she had anticipated having while bathing. She'd expected nice, sexy, sensual thoughts and she forced Jack's smile into her mind, imagining leaning in to kiss those lips.

Her imagination was running riot. She pulled back from the heart stopping smile to focus on Jack's face: those beautifully sculpted high cheekbones; the deep chocolate brown pools that formed his eyes; the cute dimple on his chin; the crease on his forehead that ran to the top of his nose, indicating his years of experience and possibly thoughtful frowning; the pink slash of a mouth that beckoned to be kissed; and the small scar in his eyebrow that Sam was often attracted to rub lovingly and soothe with her lips.

It was quite some face and one she had grown to know so intimately over the years, loving every line and curve. She imagined her fingers exploring it, followed by her mouth, until Jack's lips possessed hers and pulled her into one of his most passionate and sexually charged kisses.

She roamed to his neck, kissing along his tempting flesh, reaching the small mole in the left hand side and sucking gently, and then moving along his shoulder and gently biting the top of his arm gently. Sam groaned softly in her longing for it to be real, starting to run her hands over his masculine chest, tickling the now grey chest hairs with her fingertips, while in reality her hands started to roam over her own body as she fantasised.

Her thoughts turned to their wonderful sex lives, remembering recent acts of desire and fulfilment in Minnesota. Sam wasn't exactly inexperienced when it came to sex, but Jack was special. Both instinctively, and as a result of his well learned and practiced skill, he seemed to know exactly what she wanted and needed and his desire to please and satisfy her gave her so much pleasure that sometimes it seemed almost unreal. He was good at it, brilliant in fact. All her previous experience had not prepared her for what he could provide. Simply the best!

She seemed to please him too, which was gratifying. Sam had never been sure she could live up to what he wanted but he inspired her to try things she had never tried before, to experiment and innovate. She probably had never been a particularly wonderful lover, not necessarily bad, but not necessarily good either, just average. Until him.

Sam wanted and desired him more than any other man she had ever met and that meant she wanted to pleasure and satisfy him more than any other as well. Together, they were quite a pair when it came down to sex and Sam knew it.

These thoughts were taunting and teasing her and she was building up a yearning for him that was so acute it seemed like he was there in the bathroom with her. She heard him cough and started, opening her eyes. He really was there. Oh my god!

"Thinking about me were ya?" Jack smiled suggestively, amused by the blush rapidly appearing on Sam's face.

"As it happens I was. How long have you been standing there?" she croaked, embarrassed as hell by what he must surely have seen.

"Long enough to know what you were thinkin', and doing."

"Oh!" Her blush deepened.

"Don't be embarrassed, Sam. Surely we're beyond all of that now?"

He crouched by the side of the bath, and bent over to kiss her forehead gently and then allowed a hand to roam softly over her nakedness in the water. Taking the hand that he had seen her using to touch herself with, he lifted it to his lips.

"I'm here now," he commented, "you don't need to do that." His desire to take her in his arms and make love to her was overwhelming, "The water's getting cold. Time to get out of there, Dorothy. Can't have you melting, now, can we?"

He kissed her again and then pulled her out of the bath and into his arms, careless that she was wet and transferring that wetness to his dry clothing. She obeyed without comment, wanting and needing his warm body, and lovemaking, more than ever at this very moment.

She needed sex with him right now, and he knew it! Somehow, she no longer minded how he'd come about that knowledge and he swept her into the bedroom without bothering to let her dry off, urging her to lie on the bed, his mouth eagerly seeking to explore her naked skin. It was evident that Jack wanted her as much as she wanted him.

"Jack? Were you thinking about me?" she asked with a smile.

"All the way home, honey. God, you smell so good," he said wistfully, making love to her with enthusiastic eagerness.

"You came home earlier than I thought, " she said afterwards as they lay in each other's arms. "I was so gonna get myself looking all special for you Jack."

"You always look special to me."

Sam grinned and lightly ran her fingers along his arm.

"I bought special shoes and everything…"

"Special shoes?" Jack queried with a more than curious quirk of the eyebrow.

"Special sexy Jack O'Neill seduction type shoes."

"You were gonna seduce me in special shoes?" he beamed happily at the idea.

"You betchya," she responded with a cheeky grin.

"Shucks!"

"Another time."

"That is a definite yes! Anytime."

"Special underwear too."

"Gulp!" he exclaimed, "Can I see?"

"No you cannot, mister. You'll have to wait for the right time now."

"I'll go out and come back in again," he suggested jokingly.

"Ummm… there's a thought."

"I would hate you to waste them on anything less that the full seduction."

"Not up for seduction?"

"Wish I was. Maybe later."

"I could probably do something about that," she teased.

"I bet you could."

Jack smiled but she noted the exhaustion in his eyes and decided that the last thing he needed was any additional pressure or expectations. She hadn't come all the way to Washington to hassle him, or get in his way. She wanted him to relax in her company and simply… be Jack.

"But you're right, "she agreed, "maybe later. You hungry?"

"Not really. I'm too darned tired."

"I'm not hungry either. Let's just stay here for a while?"

"That would be good. Am I imagining it or do we spend way too much of our time in bed?"

"I wouldn't say that exactly. Besides, I like it in bed with you."

"That's something we have in common, then. Sweet!"

Sam giggled and gave him an affectionate squeeze.

"I'm so pleased you got away."

"Not sure I'm up to much. Now was so not a good time to come to Washington."

Sam was taken aback, wondering whether Jack was hinting that she shouldn't have come.

"Would you rather I hadn't come?" she asked tentatively, "I hoped…"

"No, Sam! I love that you came. I didn't mean… best surprise ever," he grinned happily, "I just wish I could spend more time with you is all, and I wish I wasn't so damned tired."

"However little I see of you this weekend, I'll see more than I would if I hadn't come."

"Sam, you have no idea how great that makes me feel." Jack pecked her on the cheek and ran his fingers through her hair.

"Maybe not but I'm really glad I'm here, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do this."

She grasped the back of his head and pulled his face gently towards hers, kissing him lovingly and then resting him back down on the bed again.

"So you came here just for that?" he grinned.

"Well… what we just did was pretty good too, but I would have settled for just that."

"Man, are you easy to please!" he jested and Sam smirked.

"Not really. It's just that you have a knack of pleasing me."

Jack felt a small thrill run through him at her comment and moved closer, giving her an affectionate squeeze and nuzzling her neck. He fell silent and Sam cherished the regular sigh of his breathing on her skin, softly whispering his name and getting no response. She smiled, snuggling up closer to him and closing her eyes to join him in his obviously much-needed doze.

When Jack woke again an hour or so later, his sudden movement woke her too and he berated himself.

"Damn, I fell asleep!"

"S'okay. So did I," she replied.

"Sam, I'm an old has been who can't keep his eyes open anymore. What the hell do you see in my for crying out loud?"

"Lots of things Jack. Lots of great things."

"I wish I were younger. I wish…"

"Shhh. Don't Jack. If you were different then you wouldn't be you," she interrupted and he smiled contentedly at that comforting response.

"God, I love you Colonel Samantha Carter," he declared in a whisper.

"I make you happy?" she asked.

"Very."

Sam squeezed him gently, searching his eyes and seeing his exhaustion lift a little and the years roll back and make him appear younger again; plus something else. Desire?

"I love you too, General Jonathan O'Neill," she murmured.

"Yeah. Who'd have thunk?"

"Who indeed?" she replied with a tease in her voice, following it with a kiss that made Jack's heart palpitate. Then she got up, disappearing into the bathroom. When she reappeared she was wearing blue silk underwear, the color of darkening blue night skies. On her feet were a pair of high strappy sandals that matched exactly and Jack looked her over appraisingly, blowing out a low sighing breath.

"I got the idea you might have changed your mind," she said in a soft seductive tone. Her provocative smile lit her face, along with his heart and virtually other part of his body.

"Aren't you ever wrong about anything?" he grinned.

"Not much, no," she agreed with a sexy leer and sauntered towards him, swaying her hips suggestively, and starting her slow, teasing seduction. "Do you mind?"

Man, was this turning out to be another one of those weekends! Jack smiled, his fatigue fleeing with her gentle touch, and not minding one little bit. In fact, he loved every minute and sighed with a deep sense of satisfaction, feeling relaxed and refreshed. Samantha Carter sure was good medicine – the very best!

Author's footnotes:

1. The artist (Bjorn Dahlem) and the art project at the Hammer Museum that is mentioned in this story really do exist http/www.hammer.

2. In Part 6 of this fic (Dancing Cheek to Cheek) I had Jack and Sam go for what sounded like a nice little walk in Anacostia Park and Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens in Washington DC. This was inspired by some Internet research I did as I have never been anywhere near Washington DC! But it is a salutary lesson to us all not to rely totally on Internet research as I have now learned that this area of Washington is not one of the safest parts of the city (which sounds like it might be putting it mildly). So apologies to you readers for that blunder. I won't correct the fic (no going back is what I say) but I will try to do better another time! Thanks to Livi for the information.


	15. Never Alone: Time Apart

Title: Never Alone: Time Apart

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst/Romance

Content Level: Age 13+. There is also an Adult Only Version of the story on my site at the address above.

Content Warnings: Use of mild language and sexual situations

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9 onwards

Spoilers: General S9 spoilers

Summary: The best-laid plans go wrong, but sometimes there is a silver lining hiding in that dark cloud

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Part 14: Never Alone: Simply the Best!

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 60 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: The fic challenge this week (issued 12/03/05) on the As The Stargate Turns Group was to use the line "The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them" and/or the word 'Louche'. I have used both. This fic has not been beta read so please forgive any errors. I hope there are very few.

**Never Alone: Time Apart**

Whoever it was that said the best laid plans go wrong was so right and Jack was cursing them. He hated clichés, particularly when they were true and even more so when they got in the way of something he really wanted. What he really wanted was Sam. This was Christmas, for crying out loud, and she was supposed to be there with him in Washington.

He had planned the whole thing: Christmas Eve at Jimmy's restaurant dancing the night away; Christmas Day alone with Sam in his apartment, fending off all intrusions and snuggling down to some quality time; Boxing Day with friends. Only problem was, Sam wasn't there, not even on the other end of a phone line. She was off world on a mission. Whoever it was that said life's a bitch was right too, and Jack was also cursing them.

'Wait a minute,' he thought, 'it was me who said that, right? Dumb, O'Neill, real dumb. Life is happy and wonderful the whole freakin' time. If I repeat it enough times will it become true? Jeez, I'm cracking up here!'

Alone in his apartment, as he sipped at the amber liquid in his glass, he thought about their last telephone conversation. It had started so innocuously and then she'd dropped the bombshell.

"Jack… Um… I'm not gonna make it there for Christmas," she said, right out of the blue.

"What?" he was both stunned and upset by that turn of events.

"Um… well, we discovered an interesting device on PBY-250 and General Landry wants me to check it out. I'll bet you've got a report sitting on your desk waiting for you to read…"

"Probably. Is that a dig that I never read reports?" he sighed, "You'd be surprised, if not stunned, at just how many of those I do read these days. I know I am." Sam tittered slightly down the phone line, imagining the pained expression on Jack's face at the very mention of reports, "But, dammit Sam, you have to go check it out over Christmas? I'll kill that son of a bitch Landry. There are other scientists at the SGC. Okay, none of them as smart as you are, I'll admit, but… I'll ask Hank to send someone else."

"Don't you dare do that, Jack O'Neill!" she exclaimed emphatically.

"You want to go, don't ya?" he responded in a slightly angry and hurt tone.

"Jack, please don't be angry. This is my job."

"And I know how much you enjoy your job."

Sarcasm. 'Great!' Sam thought.

"Yes, I do!" she said aloud, "This thing has me intrigued, Jack. It seems to be technology that we haven't encountered before. Besides, I don't want you saying anything to Landry about my job."

"For crying out loud, Sam, this was going to be our first Christmas together! You know I could get you out of it if I tried."

"Don't try, damn you! And don't be so unfair. We aren't gonna have an argument about this, are we? I really don't want an argument about it."

She heard Jack sigh heavily, clearly resigning himself to their fate. There would be no argument. Jack would accept it. She also knew that he wouldn't try to interfere in those kinds of decisions about her career. They had an agreement about that and Jack respected her too much to break it for his own selfish reasons.

"I'm sorry, Sam," he responded in a much more agreeable tone, "I was so looking forward to Christmas with you. But you're right; I'm being unreasonable and cussed, as always. It's just…"

"I know, Jack. You think I wasn't torn in two by this? I wanted to be with you too, instead of on some alien planet millions of light years away, but it's what I do."

"Sure, duty and all that…yadda, yadda, yadda. The fact that it has you intrigued would have nothing at all to do with it, of course." The words weren't spoken in an argumentative tone, "Why do I have to be in love with about the brightest brain box of a woman on the planet? Sheesh!"

"But you love me for it, don't you Mr Scarecrow?"

"Yeah, I love you for it a lot, Dorothy."

"We'll have our own pretend Christmas when I get back, I promise."

"Pretend Christmas? I like the sound of that."

"Me too."

"Will you wear sexy shoes?" he asked and Sam could picture his lopsided smile as he spoke.

"Sure, I'll wear sexy shoes, Jack. Why do I have to be in love with a shoe fetishist?"

They both laughed and fell silent for a while, remembering shoes and hot sex.

"I'm not a shoe fetishist, honey, but you look so… Man I'm getting horny just thinking about it. I'm so gonna miss you. I miss you now, dammit!"

"I miss you too, my darling."

"So what are you wearing, Sam?"

She smirked, imagining him doing exactly the same at his end of the phone line.

"You wanna have one of those conversations?"

"I told you I'm feeling horny. How about you?"

"Short skirt, stockings with seams up the back, lacy black underwear and knee length high heeled leather boots."

"Whoa!"

She wasn't wearing any such thing and Jack knew it but this was a fantasy so what the heck?

"What colour is your skirt, and how about what you're wearing on top, Sam?"

"Black. All black, Jack. My blouse is that shiny satin stuff you love the feel of so much."

"Um… sounds good. Are you going to take it off for me?"

"I'm undoing my top couple of buttons now, honey."

"I think I'll take over from there."

"But what are you wearing, Jack? Tell me."

He thought for a little while and then recalled her reaction to him wearing a civilian suit.

"Charcoal grey suit with a light blue shirt and dark blue tie. Black shiny leather shoes." He heard her sigh appreciatively and smirked with satisfaction, "I've got my Bart Simpson 'eat my shorts' boxers on especially for you." He grinned at the memory of that conversation in the early days of their relationship.

"Oh, you know how much I love Bart! So much more of a turn on than Homer," she exclaimed, recalling the same conversation.

"Are you insulting my hero?" he joked.

"Never! I wouldn't dare. Although Homer Simpson boxers are very louche," she countered with a giggle.

Sam loved playing word games with him occasionally, trying to catch him out with one he didn't know. So far she hadn't and she was out of luck this time too. Jack was way smarter than he liked to pretend and she loved that about him.

"Louche?" Jack queried, sounding way more serious than he should about a pair of boxers. "I'm not so sure that's an appropriate use of the word louche. My boxers are sooo not of questionable taste, or decadent. Nor have they got dubious morality."

Sam sighed and he could hear the sarcasm attached to that long drawn out exhalation of breath.

"Forget Homer, Bart and the finer arts of the English language, Jack."

"Pissed I knew what it meant, honey?" he chuckled.

"Damn you Jack O'Neill. Just get the jacket off and that shirt undone. That suit isn't staying on for very long. I wanna see that sexy bod of yours."

"Sexy? I guess I never really got that, Sam."

"Jeez, Jack, the whole way you move, so graceful, at ease, stealthy and cat like; the way you use your hands, those fingers…"

"They are the one part of my body that I do know I can use effectively!" he said throatily, laughing at the other end of the line.

"Not the only part, Jack, believe you me," she tittered, "but that wasn't what I meant. I guess I can't expect you to get it. I hardly even get it myself. Just trust me on this one, okay? You've just got it, that's all."

"It?"

"Yes, it. The mysterious it that makes one person lust for another."

"I guess I can trust you on that, Sam. Trusting you is the easy part. Understanding you, that's the hard part."

"Dammit, Jack, stop prevaricating and get on with this phone seduction thing. You started it."

"And I'll finish it, baby. I'll finish it real good," he promised.

Thus, their conversation turned to pure sex; whispering sensual imaginings down the phone line while fantasising that they held each other in their arms.

"I so wish this was real," he whispered.

"Me too."

"I love you Dorothy."

"I love you too, Mr Scarecrow."

"I miss you Sam."

"Me too, my darling. I miss you so much."

"I wish…"

"I wish it too. Pretending is great, Jack, but reality is so much better."

"Damned right!"

"Jack, I don't want you to be alone this Christmas. Damn!"

Jack was surprised to hear something that sounded very much like gentle sobbing.

"Sam? Honey? Are you crying?"

"A few tears, yeah. Silly, huh? I'm feeling a bit over emotional."

"Darling, don't cry for me. I'll be okay. Everything will be good. Screw Christmas. I don't care that it's Christmas, I just want to be with you, is all."

"Me too. Maybe I should speak to Landry after all."

"You know you want to go."

"Yes, I do, but…"

"Don't feel bad about wanting to do your job, or about enjoying your work. Never feel bad about that. Not for my sake, baby. I might wish things were different, but then you wouldn't be you, Sam. I love that about you, your dedication and brilliance. That's the woman I fell for hard all those years ago, Sam; the woman I respect and admire so much. I wouldn't want you to be different."

"Oh, Jack, t-that's… y-you're… a very special man, General O'Neill. Very special indeed."

"I'm real glad you think so. Two special people who found each other? That's one of the best things… Jeez, I'm getting soppy, sentimental and maudlin."

"General Jack O'Neill getting soppy, sentimental and maudlin? That will never do."

"Are you smiling now?"

"Yes."

"Good, I so love that smile Sam. You have the most wonderful smile in the universe, you know that?"

"No, I didn't know that, but I do now."

"That smile kept me going for a lot of years, Sam. Just that smile."

"That's so sweet."

"Is it? See? Soppy and sentimental."

"I love when you get soppy and sentimental, Jack. It keeps me warm at night when you aren't there."

"Now who's getting soppy and sentimental?"

"I can feel that grin over hundred's of miles, Mr Scarecrow. It's a pretty great grin."

"Ya think?"

"Still does something to me after all these years."

"It does? Sweet! Maybe I should call again later. You know, when we're both in bed and I've fully recovered from this little sex game of ours?"

"Is that a raised eyebrow and lecherous smirk I hear, Jack O'Neill?" she teased.

"You betchya!"

"In that case please call. I kind of like listening to your heavy breathing over the phone."

"I don't sound like a dirty old stalker?"

"Dirty, yes, but old stalker, no way," she chuckled.

"I'll call later then."

"Later."

They both put the phone down at the same time, wanting to linger longer but aware that neither of them really liked long drawn out goodbyes. Later would be good. Almost anytime was good.

Now, Jack fingered the little black box sitting on the table in front of him. He'd finally plucked up the courage to buy an engagement ring for Sam and there it sat in all its redundant glory. He'd considered asking her at Jimmy's on Christmas Eve and cashing in on his friend's promise of a free bottle of champagne. It was corny, sure, and if he was honest he wasn't certain he'd have had the nerve anyway. He'd bought the ring but actually having the courage to ask was another ball game altogether.

Well, that was out of his hands now. Jack sighed, considering the situation further. It was the only good thing about Sam having to cancel their plans. He'd been getting increasingly nervous, and nauseous, about the whole idea of asking her. Jack knew he had to do it sometime, it was what he wanted, but wanting and doing… Jeez, he was a two star General in the United States Air Force and didn't even have the balls to ask the woman he loved to become his wife. They ought to drum him out of the service for cowardice.

Why the heck would Sam want to marry an old man like him, one with a huge honkin' stain or two on his character to boot? He didn't doubt that she loved him and she might even agree to marry him out of some misguided idea of loyalty, and the fact that they had great sex together. That was all well and fine but so not the basis for a stable lifetime together – was it? Jack had the feeling he shouldn't be tempting her into even thinking about that.

Sam was worthy of so much more than he could give her, and a way better person than he was. She didn't deserve to land herself with damaged goods, spoiled beyond repair and redemption. Maybe he should end it and put them both out of their misery.

'Jack O'Neill, you are such an asshole. She makes you happy, for crying out loud, and you're thinking of dumping her? For her sake, of course, but you know it would break your heart, and hers. Asshole!'

Tossing back another drink he considered how much of it he might need to make him totally comatose and forget it all for a few hours. He knew better, that drinking was not the answer, that it just made him feel way worse and blew everything out of all proportion, but that didn't stop him. He poured another and quickly gulped it down disdainfully.

'Might as well go for it, Jack. Nothin' better to do. And I'd been so looking forward to this Christmas.'

About to pour yet another drink, he was stopped in his tracks by a loud knocking at his apartment door.

'Who the hell can that be? Ignore it O'Neill,' he told himself.

Whoever it was, however, refused to go away. Crap! Reluctantly, Jack pushed himself up from the couch and staggered somewhat uncertainly to the door, figuring the quicker he answered the quicker he could get rid of the caller and go back to getting himself good and depressed. His eyes widened when he opened the door.

"Cassie?" he croaked.

"Uncle Jack!" The young woman grinned, taking him into her arms in a gigantic hug.

"Wha…?"

"This is Chris. Chris this is Uncle Jack. Aren't you going to invite us in Uncle Jack?"

"Cassie?"

"Have you been drinking?"

"A little."

"Humph, more than a little. So?"

"Sure, come in, Cass. Um…"

Jack was lost for words, unsure how to react to her arrival, and with her boyfriend in tow. This was weird. What was she doing in Washington? Wasn't she supposed to be staying in California? Pulling himself together he eyed the young man she had introduced as Chris. He looked semi personable, but that meant nothing.

"So you're Chris? Pleased to meet you, I think," he said gruffly with a nod of acknowledgement and without offering him a handshake of welcome. Jack felt a little confused as to what the heck was going on. "Cassie. What are you doing here?"

"We've come to spend Christmas with you," she said brightly, knowing he'd be shocked.

"Wha…?" he started again.

"Sam called a few days ago to tell me she couldn't make it here for Christmas. She said you'd be here alone. You can't spend Christmas alone, Uncle Jack."

"So you invited yourself without calling first?"

"If I'd called you would never have let me come. Got other plans?" she eyed him with amusement and, as always, Jack couldn't find it in himself to be genuinely angry at her intrusion. He never could stay angry with Cassie for long.

He regarded her suspiciously. She was right of course, but that didn't mean it was right that she just turn up on his doorstep without a word. Staying for Christmas? For crying out loud! Just when he had settled into the idea of getting nicely pissed off over the Christmas period Cassie turns up to fill him with glad tidings of comfort and joy. What had he been thinking about the best-laid plans?

'Jeez, things might even get a little cheerful around here,' he thought.

"No, I haven't got other plans but I was sooo looking forward to a lonely, miserable Christmas," he grinned, "Did Sam suggest you come, by the way?" he asked, suspicions on high alert.

"No. It was all my idea."

"What about that great Christmas with friends you were looking forward to?"

"How could I enjoy that when I knew you'd be sitting here alone and miserable?"

"Cassie, that's kind of nice and everything but I'm a big boy now. You didn't need to spoil your plans."

"I haven't spoiled them, just changed them."

"And what about you Chris? What do you think of all this? Not quite what you were expecting, huh?"

Jack eyeballed him and Chris calmly met his gaze, which surprised Jack and the fact was added to a pros column Jack had decided he'd keep in his head. Bound to be lots of cons. He was determined to look for the cons. Man was he a miserable bastard sometimes. Perhaps he ought to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, but that was not the Jack O'Neill way.

Up until that moment, Chris had said nothing, merely looking a little nervous. Jack guessed that, for him, this was the equivalent of going home to meet the folks. But, as Jack searched his eyes, the boy showed huge fortitude. Not many people stood up to the glare of Jack O'Neill. Jack added a few more ticks in that pros column and smiled slightly.

Chris had not meekly accepted Cassie's idea to change their plans for Christmas. In fact they'd had a row about it: their first, but no doubt not their last. When he'd realised how unhappy she was at the notion of her "Uncle" Jack spending Christmas alone, pining for his love Sam, he'd given way. If he was with Cassie it was all that really mattered. So what that it would be a totally different kind of Christmas to the one he'd anticipated. He hoped they would still enjoy themselves - together.

If truth were told, Chris was pretty nuts about Cassie. She was an unusual woman, very different in so many ways to the women he normally spent his time with, or women of his own age, and he loved that about her. There was just something a little special about her and that it was well worth making a few sacrifices for.

"No, sir," Chris replied. Polite and deferential. Jack chalked another one in the pros column. Where were those damned cons he so desperately wanted to find? "But as long as I'm with Cassie that's cool. I just want to spend Christmas with Cassie and if she isn't going to be happy anywhere but here, I'm not either. Is that alright sir?"

"Sure. She left you choice less, right? Isn't that just like a woman?"

"Uncle Jack! It wasn't like that at all. Chris was happy to come."

"That was before he met me," Jack responded acerbically.

"Hey, you aren't so bad. You're just grumpy and pissed off because Sam isn't here."

"You got that right!"

"Well, I know I'm no substitute but I'll have to do."

"It's great to see you, Cassie," Jack relented and she hugged him again, kissing his cheek.

"You too. So, can we have some coffee?"

"Where are my manners?" Jack exclaimed, still a little perplexed by the turn of events but coming around. Surely this had to be better than Christmas alone. It was going to be pretty odd though.

"They probably went for a walk to avoid the scotch," she retorted mockingly.

"Jack Daniels," Jack corrected, "Are you implying I'm drunk, young lady?"

"A little. I'll make coffee. Point me in the direction of the kitchen."

"I guess I should give you a tour of my palatial residence. Um… are you two expecting to share a room? I guess you are."

Jack was clearly embarrassed by that question and not sure how to react to what they might say. He anticipated yes but was he supposed to approve or disapprove? Yikes! Jack wished Sam was there to advise him but if she were there they wouldn't be, so it was a fruitless thought. What would Sam do?

Chris touched Cassie's arm, indicating he should answer that question, and coughed uncomfortably.

"I, um, I'm happy to sleep on the couch if you think that's for the best, sir."

Jack notched another tick in his pros column and regarded the young man with increased interest.

"I suspect you wouldn't be doing that if you were in California," he commented.

"No, sir, but we're in your apartment so I guess we play by your rules," Chris blushed, which made Jack smile inside.

"Well, I wish I knew what Sam would do. I make a poor mom substitute, or dad substitute come to that, but I figure Cassie's old enough to make up her own mind about that kind of thing and I'm not her father. It isn't up to me."

"You make a pretty good dad, Uncle Jack," Cassie intervened, gently kissing Jack's cheek. "so I think it's up to you."

"Why should I make you two as miserable as I am, huh?" Jack answered with disarming honesty.

"You miss her."

"Of course I do, Cassie. I was looking forward to spending Christmas with her. Go figure!"

"I knew you would. That's why we had to come." She linked her arm with his and gave him an affectionate squeeze and Jack really started to appreciate the fact that she was there. "You haven't got a single Christmas decoration in sight," she added. "We must put some up. We can help."

"I haven't got any," Jack confessed.

"You haven't?" she looked shocked.

"I was going to get Sam to help me choose some."

"Then we can do that tomorrow. Can we, please Uncle Jack?" She seemed excited by the prospect.

"Sure. That could be kind of fun. We'll get a tree, the whole works. Um, we might need some food too."

"So what exactly were you going to eat on Christmas Day?" she asked curiously, dismayed that he might not be looking after himself and worried he intended his diet to be alcohol based.

"Okay, lets get one thing straight here, before we start this holiday. No Uncle Jacks, no sirs. I'm Jack. Got it? If we are gonna celebrate this holiday together the least we can do is be a little informal, huh?" The couple nodded mutely and he wondered how long it would take before they complied with that wish. Possibly the whole freakin' holiday, "you can help me decide what we do about food too. I never was that great at cooking Christmas dinner, Cassie. I hadn't planned anything special."

"I can cook, you can help," she replied.

"I'm an accident waiting to happen in the kitchen," Jack sighed dramatically and Cassie tutted softly at his self-deprecating joke.

"We did okay for thanksgiving," she argued

"With Sam! I can prepare vegetables, set up dinner tables and put up decorations," Jack said with a chuckle, "as for the rest, the worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them."

Cassie laughed and Chris looked a little uncertain how to react so settled on a grim smile.

"We'll manage between us," Cassie said determinedly.

"Ya think?"

"Um… I'm not a bad cook," Chris offered tentatively.

"Really?" Jack queried, "Wow, what's happened to the younger generation?" he rolled his eyes exaggeratedly to emphasise his joke. This time, Chris laughed and Jack was thinking that if he really could cook it was another tick in the pros column.

"So, lots of shopping to do tomorrow," Cassie said, "I hope your credit card is up to it, Unc… Jack."

"Talking of credit cards, how in the hell did two poverty stricken students afford to come all the way from California to Washington DC?"

"Well, flights aren't that expensive, Jack, and mom didn't exactly leave me penniless," Cassie explained, "but actually we didn't spend a cent."

Jack looked at her with surprise and an eyebrow raised in query.

"Uncle George arranged it for us," she continued.

"Uncle George? You mean George Hammond?" Jack was taken aback by the notion of "Uncle George" and eyed Cassie with astonishment. "He organised a hop?"

"Yes. Not very comfortable, but extremely cheap."

"Jeez! Good old George." He was nonplussed by the idea of George Hammond organising a flight for the couple, and that Cassie might have spoken to him about this trip, but decided his cross examination on the subject could wait.

"Strictly speaking he shouldn't have, of course," she explained hastily, uncertain of Jack's reaction, "but he seems to have friends in high places."

"He always did," Jack responded with a small smile.

"Yeah, Cassie sure seems to have some real interesting Uncles," Chris said.

"She surely does," Jack agreed, amused by imagining Chris's reaction to Teal'c.

When Cassie offered him a broad smile Jack's heart lifted and he laughed, followed by a charming grin. Maybe this Christmas wouldn't be so bad after all. No Sam, but he'd get over it. Jack wondered what the woman he loved was doing right now, and what she was thinking. He missed her but she was there in his heart and, for now, that would do.


	16. Never Alone: One Hell of a Year!

Title: Never Alone: One Hell of a Year!

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst/Romance

Content Level: Age 13+. There is an adult only version of this fic on my site at the address above.

Content Warnings: Use of mild language

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9 onwards

Spoilers: Children of the Gods, General S9 spoilers

Summary: While Sam curses her failure on a planet far, far away, Cassie searches for what lies in Jack's heart

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Part 15: Never Alone: Time Apart

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2005 Su Freund

File Size: 89 KB

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, SJD yes, Gateworld, FanFiction Net

Author's Note: My answer to As the Stargate Turns yahoo Group fic challenge 19, set 11 December to include the line "Carter, isn't mine the biggest?" and/or the words 'even trade'. This fic has not been beta read so please forgive any errors. I hope there are very few.

**Never Alone: One Hell of a Year! **

"Damn, I gave up my Christmas with Jack for this crock of shit!" Sam exclaimed angrily, thumping the wall, and Daniel winced.

"We all gave up our Christmases for this, Sam," he said in a placating manner.

"Christmas with Jack, Daniel. Our first Christmas, for crying out loud!"

Daniel was amused by her use of one of Jack's favorite expressions and grinned inwardly.

"We all had arrangements for this Christmas, Sam, you know that."

Sam sighed in resignation, moving away from the device and joining her friend.

"I'm sorry. You're right of course. But it was going to be so special. I wanted… oh, never mind what I wanted. We're here now and I wanted to be here too. Jack will probably laugh his ass off when I tell him what a disaster it's been. Either that or throw a hissy fit that I gave up our Christmas for it. Why can't I work this out, dammit? That's what I do!"

"Yes it is, Sam, and you will. Give it time."

"Just… maybe I won't, Daniel, not this time," she said dejectedly, "I'm thinking they should have sent more than just me to come and work this thing out. It isn't like anything we've seen before. That's what got me so interested in the first place. Damn my curiosity!"

She'd been working on the device for two days already and still hadn't a clue how it worked. It was so frustrating. It had taken them a couple of days to walk to this place with all the equipment and now… What a huge honkin' waste of time it was turning out to be!

The device was housed in the remnants of what had probably once been a palace or temple, perched on a hillside overlooking what had probably been a large town or small city. There had once been advanced civilisation there but there wasn't much left anymore. The ruins spoke of war and destruction, aided by the weathering of years. Daniel had been gathering as much data as possible, trying to discern the history of these once great people.

Air reconnaissance of the area had noted the ruins, which were of unfamiliar design, and a mysterious power source. The device had been protected from both destruction and the elements as it stood in the one part of the ruins that had been relatively untouched. It afforded some shelter but the team had set up camp a little way away as the place had an unearthly and not particularly pleasant smell that was bad enough to work in, but would be intolerable to sleep in.

"I think we both need a break, Daniel," she suggested. "I don't think I can handle this smell anymore and I'm pissed, so I doubt I'll make sense of anything tonight. How about you?"

"I'm getting there, but you know… how about we go over to the camp? I bet Mitchell and Teal'c are back there sitting on their asses after their last patrol around the perimeter."

"Okay, let's go." It wasn't like her to give up but she was tired and sorely in need of a warm drink.

They walked the short distance back to the camp, which smelt pleasantly of nature and nothing else to find their two friends weren't there after all, so they made coffee and awaited their return. When the two men came back, the team relaxed into some casual banter until Sam asked a question that was on all of their minds.

"So, Daniel, are you going to tell us what you had planned for Christmas? You've been keeping it such a big secret and we're dying to know," she asked, wanting something to distract her from thoughts of failure, and Jack.

"Nothing important, really," he answered, piquing her curiosity further.

"Then why all the hush, hush?"

"You'd only laugh."

"Try us," Sam smirked.

She hoped it was a woman that Daniel was being so secretive about and would be so thrilled if it were, as would Jack. Daniel deserved someone special in his life. It wasn't that he never got any offers, women seemed to queue around the block waiting for a chance with Daniel, but they were always either the wrong kind of alien, or it didn't work out for one reason or another.

Sam figured he might still be holding a torch for Sha're after all these years and knew very well what it was like to yearn for someone for a long time. Her feelings for Jack were a prime example, but now they were an item and she yearned in a totally different way. At least nowadays she had some reality to look forward to, not simply a pipe dream. She wanted the same for Daniel. Surely it was time.

She understood how hard it was to build a relationship when you spent half your life on other planets doing things that no one was allowed to know about, remembering well the problems this had caused between her and Pete. Frankly, those problems hadn't simply disappeared because she'd got permission to tell him about her secret life, although she had hoped that they would.

Of course if she'd accepted that the fundamental obstacle had been her love of another man, namely Jack O'Neill, maybe she could have saved her and Pete, as well as Jack, a lot of heartache. It was pointless ruminating over all of that now, although she wasn't sure she would ever forgive herself for hurting Jack in that way. And he had been hurt, even though he'd never really said so. His eyes had told her that but she had refused to listen to what they, and her own heart, were telling her for a long time: way too long.

Her relationship with Jack didn't have to suffer the same kinds of difficulties and she felt truly blessed because of it. He knew what she did, understood the demands that were made of her, and that she made on herself, and respected that she had a job to do, believing she did that job well. He would never try to make her choose between him and her career and knew what it was like to live a relationship where you were apart for long periods of time. They were both military and it was a given. Not always easy, as his initial reaction to her absence this Christmas had demonstrated, but definitely doable.

Jack's faith in her abilities over the years had made her stronger and more confident. Gone were the days when she thought she had to prove herself in that self-righteous and totally over the top manner she had employed when she first walked into the briefing room at the SGC. Of course that meeting had not been helped by the fact that she knew very well who Colonel Jack O'Neill with two lls was and hoped her heart wouldn't explode and her face light up like a Christmas tree when she walked into the room to meet him for that "first" time.

As she'd looked at him over the briefing room table, saluting her superior officer, Sam had felt a little like that gawky teenager all over again. As a result she'd been defensive and made a total fool of herself. After that she'd felt like the wide-eyed ingénue, walking through the wormhole for the first time - or being pushed through by Jack – feeling queasy once she reached the other side, and staring open mouthed at everything she saw there.

However, she had proved her worth repeatedly over the years, and made mistakes too; hadn't they all? But overall she was satisfied with a job well done so there wasn't so much to prove anymore. She was still a woman in a man's world, that would never change, but she had a way better job than most men in the US Air force, that was for sure.

She still bristled at that condescending "be a good little woman and make the coffee" type attitude she met all too frequently, but knew how to deal with it more effectively now. Generally speaking, those guys were stunned into silence once she'd spoken a few times. She mostly knew when to keep her mouth shut and when to open it and scream aloud.

Jack had taught her a lot – although not quite so much of that keeping your mouth shut kind of stuff, as tact and diplomacy weren't that high on his agenda - and taught her well, and so had the rest of the team. They had grown and evolved together and she would be eternally grateful for that experience.

Sam looked at Daniel expectantly and he sighed, rolling his eyes and knowing he wasn't going to wangle out of this one. Looking around at the more than curious faces of the other team members he blushed slightly and stammered nervously.

"B-believe it or not, I-I was going on a dig for a few days."

Sam's eyes widened with surprise and she caught Teal'c's amused expression. As for Mitchell, he didn't really know Daniel that well yet and was a little out of the SG-1 loop. Sometimes that was difficult. The three friends could almost read each other's thoughts in certain situations, but Mitchell? Of course he couldn't. Only Jack could have done that. Maybe one day but, meanwhile, Sam would feel sorry for Mitchell every now and then.

"An archaeological dig, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c responded and Daniel nodded.

"What, we don't find you enough artefacts to study?" Mitchell joked.

"Um, why?" Sam asked bluntly.

"I kind of miss all of that. A good old fashioned dig, right there on Earth where I recognise the sky overhead," he smiled shyly, "go figure."

"Who else was on this dig? People you know?"

"Um…" his blush deepened, "Sarah Gardiner was going to be there," he confessed.

"Oh!" Sam smiled softly and took her friend's hand, "I'm sorry you're missing that Daniel."

"Yeah, so am I."

"Are you and Sarah…?"

"No!"

"But you never know, right?"

"It would be kind of strange after everything that's happened, maybe impossible, but no, you never know."

Daniel met Sam's eyes and they had a whole conversation in seconds without actually speaking. Then they both turned and looked at Teal'c who bowed his head with a slight smirk on his lips.

Mitchell knew he was missing something but also knew better than to pry into these private "original SG-1" moments. They were building new moments and he hoped to reap the benefits later. No matter how many mission reports he read there was no way he could ever hope to live those moments or understand what they meant to these people. It saddened him but he accepted it, envying the relationship these three had.

Deciding she'd had enough of trying to decipher the mysteries of the artefact, the team ate and chatted for a while, agreeing who should take which watch, and she turned in early, exhausted from making all that effort to no avail. But she couldn't sleep. Her mind buzzed with thoughts arising from her frustration. Trying to calm her thoughts, she pictured Jack, wondering what he was doing right now and whether he missed her as much as she missed him.

After she'd seduced him wearing her new shoes and lingerie they had decided they were hungry at last and ordered take-out from one of Sam's selected menus. Jack had been so embarrassed that she had discovered his secret: scrawling her name all over the note pad he generally kept by the phone. She had teased him mercilessly about it until she realised that he was genuinely upset that she'd found it and could have kicked his own ass for not hiding it from her.

"Jack, it's really sweet. I'm flattered."

"Jeez, Sam, it's not sweet, it's pathetic."

"No, never that." She reached and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"It makes me look like an infatuated schoolboy," he pouted miserably.

"But that's what so sweet."

"Sweet is so not Jack O'Neill, you know?"

"Probably not a word that's generally associated with General Jack O'Neill, no, but with my Jack, my Mr Scarecrow…? Please don't feel so embarrassed."

"Embarrassed? I feel like a jerk."

"It's just doodling on a piece of paper, Jack. You told me earlier not to feel embarrassed that you'd caught me playing with myself in the bath. On a scale of things to be embarrassed about you think yours scores higher? Who's the jerk?" Her mouth wore a humorous leer and he laughed.

"You're right. I am a jerk, though."

"Yes you can be Jack, but not for doodling on a piece of paper. Would I lie?"

"Ack!" he exclaimed in surrender, "Why am I quarrelling with you about doodling, for crying out loud? Sometimes I'm such an idiot."

"I hate to say it but I'm not gonna argue with that," she retorted with a grin, enfolding him in her arms and holding him close. "But we can both be idiots sometimes."

"You? Never an idiot Sam," he said, kissing her hair and cheek affectionately.

"We both have our moments, Jack."

"So you figure it's an even trade?" he joked.

"Even trade? Sure, it's an even trade."

"I'm not so sure that you get much of a bargain with me."

"Now I have argue with you about that one because I think I do very well indeed out of this bargain."

"You could do way better, Dorothy."

"I don't think so. Never better than you, Jack."

"Soiled goods, Sam. I've done too many rotten, stinking things in my life…"

"Crap! I think it's an even trade, a very fair trade indeed, and so should you. Jack O'Neill is one of the good guys. The best. And I so adore Mr Scarecrow."

"Okay, Dorothy. Let's not argue about it, huh? Just keep cuddling me and I'll believe."

"I hope you do believe. If all it takes is a cuddle, well, that's kinda easy."

Saying nothing further, they huddled together and were soon asleep, dreaming pleasant dreams and, as Sam remembered, she wished he were there right now to cuddle her to sleep.

Jack gave the visiting couple a quick, guided tour of his apartment, ensuring they knew where everything was so they could make themselves at home, and then they sat in his living room drinking coffee. His was strong and black. Their arrival had sobered him up a lot, he'd got used to having to sober quickly over the years, but he was still a little woozier than he liked in company. The mixture of black coffee and plain water that he threw down his throat seemed to be working.

However, he wasn't quick enough to stop Cassie picking up the little black box on his table and opening it curiously. His eyes widened with mortification that she had discovered his secret and he hadn't had the good sense to hide it away when they arrived.

"Oh my god, it's an engagement ring!" she exclaimed with glee, "Jack! You were going to ask her over Christmas?"

"Dammit, that's between me and Sam. You shouldn't have opened that."

"But it was sitting right out here in plain sight. If you didn't want it found you shouldn't have left it lying around," she replied in justification of her actions, noticing the roll of his eyes heavenwards and his slightly pained expression. "It's so exciting! It's a beautiful ring, Jack," she continued, trying to mollify him further.

"Really? You think she'll like it?"

"She'll love it."

"I'm not sure… I bought the ring, but…" he tailed off, "I don't want to talk about this, okay?"

Cassie detected his reluctance and also some fear and something else she wasn't entirely sure of, wondering about it but agreeing to change the subject. Had he changed his mind about proposing to Sam? That would be so dumb, so utterly ridiculous. She wouldn't stand for it. They were meant to be! Cassie decided she'd get him alone and press him further another time. She'd get her chance.

She made that chance later when, without using any words, she hinted that Chris go to bed and leave them to talk alone. Cassie loved that they could have those silent conversations sometimes. It indicated something really good. She seen Jack and Sam do it frequently but they'd known each other for years. She'd known Chris for mere months and this relationship between them was relatively new. Somehow, they seemed to be in synch and that was something special.

"So, what do you think of Chris, Unc… Jack?" she asked bluntly.

"Hey, give me a break, I've only just met him."

"I'm betting you've already formed an opinion."

"Are you now?"

"You weren't very friendly when we arrived. You didn't even shake his hand!"

"Jeez, Cassie, I was a little taken aback, go figure! You turn up on my doorstep unexpectedly with a total stranger, a guy who seems to have stolen your heart pretty damned quickly. How do you expect me to react?"

"And you had been drinking, of course."

"That too," he grinned. "Cassie, forgive me for feeling a little protective towards my little girl, huh?"

"Your little girl?" she smiled.

"Well…" Jack shrugged.

"I like that you feel protective, Jack, but I am old enough to look after myself these days, and make my own decisions."

"I figure that's what Sam would think too. I'm an old fashioned kind of guy, so sue me!"

"Sam keeps you centred," Cassie said, seizing the opportunity to turn the conversation towards Jack and Sam. Sure, she wanted to know what Jack thought about Chris but that could wait. She might not get many such opportunities to say what she wanted to say about her favorite couple.

Jack stared at her for a few moments contemplating that Cassie couldn't possibly know how true that really was.

"She's a great woman," he replied, simply.

"So you are gonna ask her to marry you, right?"

"Cassie!"

"Well, you bought the ring and everything. I hate that you seem to be having doubts. You two were meant for each other."

Jack smiled thinly at that remark. Was that true or merely a figment of Cassie's overly romantic imagination?

"I don't know about that Cassie, but I'm not having doubts."

"You implied you were."

"Not about my feelings for Sam."

"Then what?"

"You aren't going to leave this alone, are you?"

"No."

"Then I guess now is better than an ear bashing over the holiday," he said, resigning himself to having to come up with some kind of explanation, and pausing before he continued, "I'm not sure it's the right thing for Sam." There, he'd said it, and in the simplest possible language.

"Oh! Why not?"

"There are lots of things you don't know about me, Cassie."

"Does Sam know?"

"Lot's of it, yes. I've made sure of it."

'And then some,' he thought ruefully.

"And what does she think of these… things?"

Cassie knew better than to ask him what he was referring to. It was clear to her that this was very personal stuff and she's known Jack for a long time. He wasn't good at revealing the personal. To get him talking about marriage to Sam was more than enough, and probably further than he really wanted to go.

"I told you, she's a wonderful woman."

"Then the problem is?"

"I'm not sure I should saddle her with all my baggage. She could do better. I don't want her to regret committing herself to me."

"Right. Isn't that up to her? Isn't that a risk in any relationship? Besides, I think she's already committed, don't you? The piece of paper and the ceremony confirming it is just a side issue. That's how you tell the rest of the world that you're committed, but it's what's in your hearts and souls that counts."

Jack considered that for a moment and eyed Cassie with some surprise.

"You know, that's pretty wise from someone so young, Cass."

"Ya think?" she grinned.

"Chris is a lucky guy."

"You might want to tell him that."

"I get the feeling he already knows."

"So you do have an impression of him."

"Of course. You know me, quick to judge. Sometimes too damned quick, but first impressions are so often right. A kind of gut instinct, you know?"

"Is that in the Jack O'Neill Handbook?" she asked with a grin.

"Yeahsureyabetchya!" he smirked humorously. "Or something along those lines."

"And?"

"So far, I kind of like him."

Cassie thought that was a true accolade coming as it did from the lips of Jack O'Neill.

"Cool! That's so great, Uncle Jack!" she gave him a quick cuddle in appreciation. "You think Sam will too?"

"Sure she will. But if I'm wrong about him I'm gonna kill him. He'd better not hurt my little girl."

"That's a risk worth taking."

"Yeah, sometimes it is. It happens to all of us sometime. It's life."

"So shouldn't you apply that reasoning to you and Sam?"

"Sheesh! I thought we'd finished that subject."

"Thought you'd distracted me? You're kidding right?"

"I can but try," he grinned. "Let's just say, I'll bear it in mind and leave the subject there, huh?"

"Consider the subject closed, at least for now."

"So don't you think you ought to go join that young man of yours? He's probably getting lonely."

"More likely he's asleep."

"I bet he isn't. He's waiting for a very beautiful young woman to go join him and give him a goodnight cuddle." Jack sighed, thinking how nice it would be if Sam were there to give him one of those.

"I'll go take a look," she smiled. "Thank you Uncle Jack."

"For what?"

"For being you."

"It comes naturally," he joked and she giggled obligingly, kissing him on the cheek and going off to join her boyfriend in bed.

Jack sat thinking about that conversation for a while. Life was full of risks. If Sam was willing to take the risk with him, who was he to argue? Picking up the small black box and fiddling with it in his hands, he pondered long and hard. Maybe all he needed now was the right opportunity.

Teal'c watched the skies dubiously. Darkness was coming way too early and the clouds scowled down at them sneeringly, anger lurking in their heavy bowels. Various hues of grey hung like a canopy above them.

"A storm approaches. We should find shelter."

"We can hide in our tents, wait it out," Mitchell suggested.

"They may be inadequate for our purposes," opined Teal'c.

Sam looked around frustrated and still out of sorts because she was getting nowhere. Having managed to get something working on the device she was still at a complete loss to know exactly what the purpose of that something was. Daniel's efforts at translation had proved fruitless. Nothing they had found so far seemed to be related in any way to the device. She guessed that, in her ignorance of the device, it was lucky she hadn't blown them all sky high or worse. Suspecting Teal'c was right she moaned.

"I've got a bad feeling about this. Teal'c's right. The tents might not be adequate. We ought to think about moving inside."

"With that stench?" Mitchell asked, scrunching up his nose with a look of disgust.

"Good point. I guess I'm more used to it than you are. At least you get to walk the perimeter. I have to work in that all day."

"Yeah, walking the perimeter sure is fun!" Mitchell said sarcastically, reminding her a little of Jack. He used to get so bored on this kind of mission that he was almost praying for something interesting to happen: an unfriendly Jaffa attack or the sudden appearance of primitive warriors spoiling for a fight; something he could get his teeth into.

"Let us hope that the tents are adequate," Teal'c said and Daniel nodded agreement.

The wind picked up a little and water fell softly from the skies. This was only the beginning.

"Might as well call it a day and take shelter," Mitchell said. "Why don't we all go sit in my tent? That might be fun," he added with a smile, "We can play I-spy or... hey anyone got a bottle we could spin?" he winked at Sam in jest.

"You think there's enough space in your tent?" Sam smirked, "wouldn't ours be better? It's biggest."

"Carter, isn't mine the biggest?" Mitchell retorted with a tinkle in his eye and she giggled.

"The tents are identically sized Colonel Mitchell, Colonel Carter," commented Teal'c in puzzlement.

"Are you channelling Jack?" Daniel asked Mitchell.

"God, I hope not," Sam responded, "there's only enough room for one Jack O'Neill in a small universe like ours. And by the way, Cam, I'm pretty sure that his is the biggest," she added with a wink.

Daniel looked at her with surprise. Was she flirting a little? Only moments before she'd been in a bad mood, now she was joking around with Mitchell.

"Are you alright Sam?" he asked.

"Sure, fine. I was about to suggest that we pack up and go home after this storm. We're wasting our time here. Now I can accept that I feel much better actually. More relaxed. Let it be someone else's problem."

"Hello, is that Sam Carter in there?" Daniel said pretending to knock on her head.

"I'm fed up, Daniel, I want to go home."

"Wanna get back for New Years?"

"The thought occurred."

"Ah! Wanna see in the New Year with Jack, huh?"

"Might be nice, yes. If we get back in good time I can ask the General for a couple of days and take a hop to DC."

But the best laid plans…

When the storm broke, it burst out of the sky like a special effect in a disaster movie. Wind howled, rain poured, chill bit through their skins, and the tents were miserable, not up to the task of protecting them from such upheaval. Choice less, they retreated to the smelly ruin and hunkered down with the device, moving all their gear right along with them.

And they were stuck there for too long, days rather than hours. By the time the storm abated Sam knew that they'd be lucky to make it back to the SGC for New Year's Eve and she didn't have a hope of making it to DC for the celebrations.

The shopping expedition with Cassie and Chris turned into a monster of gigantic proportions. There was food, decorations, a tree as well as presents to procure. Jack had to sneak off on his own to pick something up for Cassie to open on Christmas Day, having realised that he'd already sent his present to her so he needed another one. Then there was Chris to consider, which was a conundrum that he solved eventually.

All the traipsing around was exhausting and irksome. When Cassie declared that she wanted to go into just one more shop, Jack nearly burst a blood vessel but, instead, suggested the he and Chris go off to a bar, have a drink and wait for Cassie there. Chris was a man; he must be fed up too, right?

Although Chris was grateful for the break, he was also more than slightly nervous about being alone with Jack and no Cassie to back him up. Jack sensed that and wanted to break that ice with the young man. If he could crack that nut, their Christmas together would be way more pleasant and fun. Jack bought them a couple of beers and steered him to some discreet seats in a booth.

"Chris," he said softly, trying to put the boy at ease, "I never really made you welcome when you first arrived. Would you be willing to forgive an old fool and shake my hand now?"

Chris smiled winningly and reached out his hand towards Jack's, who was pleased by his firm handshake. Not at all namby pamby as he'd feared it might be, and confirming his favorable impression of the young man. Jack was thinking there should be no beating about the bush and he should just go for it.

"I kind of like you, kid," he started, "and I know you're probably on your best behaviour but so far I haven't found any cons."

"Cons?" said Chris, slightly taken aback by that blunt approach, but appreciative of the opening.

"For that little mental tally of pros and cons I've been keeping in my head, a kind of ticks and crosses list, if you like."

"About me?"

"Yep. I so wanted to find some cons. I've got a negative personality," Jack explained with an engaging smile.

Chris laughed and the laughter was wholehearted. Jack liked that.

"I guess I should be pleased that you haven't, sir."

"Probably. Believe me, I look hard. I really am a worst-case scenario kind of a guy. It's become a habit." Jack replied, continuing to smile, making the nervous young man relax, "Didn't I tell you to lose the sir and call me Jack?"

"S-sure… um… Jack, but you're a General in the US Air Force."

"And you find that intimidating?"

"A little. And you're like, well, like Cassie's dad, you know?"

"Cassie's dad and a General? Sheesh! That sure is intimidating," Jack rejoined with soft sarcasm, "Newsflash: I'm flesh and blood just like anyone else."

"I guess I was raised to respect those people who fight the good fight for us out there, you know?"

"You were? Cool! A lot of folks your age don't."

"From what Cassie says you're a hero."

"Ack!" Jack waved away the compliment with a hand, "she exaggerates. To her maybe I am."

He wondered what she had been saying, pretty confident that the young woman hadn't been revealing any state secrets. It must be hard to live such a lie. Jack knew a little about living lies, smiling and faking it. One of these days he figured that maybe he should talk to Cassie about it, although Janet probably already had, many years ago. Cassie was a good woman; pretty well adjusted considering everything, and very Tauri after all these years. She'd adjusted.

"I feel pretty confident that you don't make General just by sitting on your butt, sir… um… Jack," continued Chris, "and you sure seem to have a lot of medals," he blushed, "Cassie showed me."

"Has she been rooting around in my things again?"

"You should be proud, sir… Jack."

Jack was proud but didn't like to brag, at least not to friends, so he smiled self-deprecatingly and Chris decided that was an interesting trait in this man. He was beginning to appreciate why Cassie thought so highly of her "Uncle Jack".

"I think Sam would like you," Jack declared, as usual deflecting the conversation away from him when there were compliments flying around.

"I hope she does because if I have anything to say about it I'll be sticking around for a long time to come. Cassie's a wonderful person. I've never met anyone quite like her. She's so special."

"Yes, she is," Jack beamed proudly, "She's had a hard time getting folks to appreciate that sometimes."

"Well I do."

"I'm glad. She needs people to recognise it."

"I-I think I want to spend the rest of my life with her," Chris acknowledged, gulping as he said the words, and shocking himself that he'd confided that to this man.

"Whoa! That's quite some confession, son. You're both very young."

"I know. I haven't told her that, of course. It's way too soon."

"I know that feeling," Jack retorted with a chuckle.

"Is that the way you feel about the engagement ring thing?"

Jack met his eyes and regarded him seriously.

"A little."

"But Cassie says you've known each other for years."

"We have but…"

"You have doubts?"

"Not that it's what I want, no."

"So?"

"Look Chris, I don't really talk about that kind of stuff."

"Okay, sure. I'm sorry. I respect your privacy. It's just… it's a long time to wait, is all."

"It surely is. Worth it though."

"Cassie thinks very highly of Sam. She sounds like a great person."

"She is."

"You knew Cassie's mom, didn't you?"

"Janet was a friend of ours, yes."

"Cassie misses her."

"We all do. She was a great person too. And she raised another one with Cassie. She did a good job."

"Seems so. I wish I could have met her. I hope she would have liked me… approved."

"I think she would have. She could be a bit of a mother hen, of course, but she was a great judge of character."

Jack was amused to see Chris blush at that, and cough with embarrassment.

"I'm honored you think so, sir, I mean Jack."

"I like to flatter myself that I'm a good judge of character too, Chris. I hope I'm not wrong about you."

"I hope so too, sir. I understand you want to look out for Cassie. I'll try not to let you down."

Jack nodded silently at that, believing that he'd reached a kind of understanding with the young man and feeling slightly satisfied, as well as confident that Chris would try his best for Cassie's sake.

"We can't always keep our promises, Chris. Life has a habit of throwing a curve ball. All we can do is our best."

"Then I'll try to do that."

"Yes, I do believe you will," Jack said, deciding not to put more pressure on Chris about that particular issue right now, so changing the subject. "Do you play poker?" he grinned.

"You know anyone who doesn't?"

"Actually I do. I take it that's a yes."

"Sure."

"Well I have some friends coming over on Boxing Day. We get together for poker so will probably play. You might want to join us."

"Boxing Day?"

"Sheesh, of course you've never heard of Boxing Day, why should you have? A few years ago I spent some time over in the England and that's a holiday they have over there. The day after Christmas Day. Ever since then I made a point of adding it into my calendar. I kind of like the idea of a day after Christmas Day," he smiled at the thought, and the memories it brought back.

"Right. Isn't there always a day after Christmas Day?" Chris retorted and Jack chuckled.

"You sound just like a friend of mine called Daniel."

"Daniel Jackson?" Chris responded, "Another one of Cassie's uncles, huh?"

"She has many. The Cassieuncle tree we all grow on is very common in Colorado Springs," Jack quipped and it was Chris's turn to chuckle. "I think there's some kind of significance to Boxing Day over there but I guess I never bothered to find out what it is. Who cares? It's the day after Christmas so worth celebrating, right?" Jack grinned.

"Right. England? Wow! I guess you must have travelled around a lot with your work."

'That's an understatement that you couldn't even begin to guess at, son,' Jack thought with amusement.

"I've travelled, some. But often all you see is the inside of a US Air Force base. It's not always as interesting as you might suppose," he said aloud.

Chris got the impression that those words hid a lot of the real truth, and he was right of course, but he didn't press further.

"Poker could be a lot of fun, sir," Chris said with a smile.

"Sheesh! It's Jack, for crying out loud. Get used to it. Now, I have this friend Jimmy who is coming over and you are so gonna like him…"

As they approached the gate, Sam was cursing under her breath about the mission and not getting back to Jack for New Years, snipping about the waste of time and what a great Christmas she could have had. Daniel didn't think he'd ever seen her quite so eager to get home, or so pissed. The long trek back had been damp and uncomfortable, the ground sodden and muddy with pockets of puddles at every turn.

Sam had been unlucky and slipped right into one just a couple of hours earlier and now she was caked from head to toe in brown and smelled pretty bad too. She desperately needed a hot shower and couldn't wait to get back. They'd been stuck on that forsaken rock for over a week. Because of the long walk to and from the artefact, it was scheduled to be a long mission, but it had dragged on well over a week with nothing much to show for it. They were way overdue.

Back at the SGC, there were smiles of relief on many faces when they received the IDC for SG-1. Landry had dialled up the gate a few times trying to contact them but they'd been well out of range and the inclement weather made sending a UAV impossible. The General had not liked the look of that weather at all and worried for his team.

He was smiling broadly as they walked through the event horizon looking bedraggled and forlorn and it took a supreme effort to keep a straight face when he saw the poor state that Colonel Carter was in. The team were back and seemed uninjured; that meant a good deal.

Sam trudged down the ramp staring down at the metal and the shocking state of her boots when a familiar voice spoke.

"Carter."

Her heart rated pattered excitedly. It was Jack! What the heck was he doing in Cheyenne Mountain on New Year's Eve? God, what a welcome, and what a smile! It was a sight for sore and very pissed eyes. She met his eyes across the gate room. Jack! Her face cracked into a huge smile. Jack!

"General," she said formally.

"Hey," he replied returning her smile.

"Hey," she responded.

"Good to have you back, Colonel."

"Good to be back, sir."

"Muddy, was it?" he grinned crookedly, amused by her dishevelled and dirty appearance.

"Aw crap! I must look terrible."

"You could say that, but I wouldn't," he said, continuing the lopsided grin. "A shower might be good," he continued.

Despite the mud and smell, Jack so wanted to take her into his arms for a long hug. When Landry called him to tell him that SG-1 were way overdue he hoisted a finger in the air at The Pentagon and flew straight to Colorado. He'd been worried, swallowing back the fear that made his heart seem so heavy and trying to stay professional.

In the face of her arrival, safe and sound, it was difficult to keep his hands off her. But this was the SGC, the gate room. There was such a thing as decorum for an officer, particularly a General in the US Air force.

"A shower might be way more than good," she responded unable to tear her gaze from Jack's penetrating stare. Stepping closer she added in a low voice, "You've been worried."

"You were overdue."

"I'm here now. I'm okay."

"Yes, not a moment too soon. It's New Year's Eve you know."

"Doing anything?"

"Spending it with you?" he asked.

"I'd really like that."

"Yeah, me too."

As he walked along with her to the infirmary he thought she seemed ill at ease and it bothered him.

"Screw this!" he exclaimed, stopping in the corridor, grasping her arm gently and turning her to face him. "And screw them!" he indicated the ever present cameras. "What is it, Sam, honey?" He asked, stroking her cheek and momentarily surprising her.

"It's not you, Jack. I'm just so pissed off with myself. I wasted all that time, our Christmas, dammit, and got nowhere. I'm not as bright as people like to think."

"You're beating yourself up because you couldn't solve the scientific puzzle?"

"I missed our Christmas to waste my time not solving that scientific puzzle."

"So is it the missed Christmas or the puzzle that pisses you off?"

"A combination of both."

"Mr Scarecrow will kiss it better," he offered with a smile.

"Dorothy would really like that Mr Scarecrow, but I'm one hell of a mess, and I smell!"

"Hey, nothing beats mud! I love it! C'mere. Let's give 'em an eyeful," his eyes wandered up towards the cameras and he was vaguely amused by what might be going through the heads of the watching SFs, deciding that he didn't really give a flying fig. Sam didn't seem to mind either as he pulled her into his arms, kissing her for breathless, mind-blowing moments, and then hugged her tightly.

"What was that?" she asked when they came up for air.

"What was what?"

"That kiss?"

"Um, a kiss?"

"That was quite some kiss."

"It was a kissing you better kiss. I save them for special occasions."

"It was an amazing kiss, Jack"

"Really?"

"Have you been practising?"

"You're kidding, right? No one but Samantha Carter has access to Jack O'Neill's magic lips, he joked, "Well, maybe with the exception of Cassie under the mistletoe."

"Cassie?"

"Oh, yeah! Guess who dropped by to keep me company over Christmas?"

"Cassie?" she was stunned.

"Sure did; with Chris in tow. He's an okay guy, by the way, and plays a mean hand of poker," Sam arched her eyebrows, even more taken aback, "I'll tell you all about it later, but you first, Sam."

"Me first what?"

"Tell me all about it."

It bothered him that there was so clearly something wrong. Having missed their Christmas together he looked forward to seeing in the New Year with her and fervently hoped he could find a way to improve her mood.

So he held her in his arms, careless of the watchers and her filthy state, rocking her gently as she related her tale of woe and soothing her with both comforting whispers, and razor sharp wit. By the time they made it into the infirmary, her mood had lightened considerably. Better: way better.

When she was eventually released and showered Jack was bowled over by her bright smile and he took her hand as they strolled towards the elevator.

"T-this is a bit of a surprise, Jack… v-very public, "she declared, "being here, the kiss, cuddling, holding hands. You might as well have kissed me in the gate room."

He eyed her with a grin.

"I wish I had," he paused, "It isn't a secret, is it? I don't… do you mind?" he suddenly appeared uncertain.

"No, not a secret and no, I don't mind," she smiled and squeezed his hand gently. "I just never thought…"

"You don't think it's very O'Neill like?"

"Or very Carter like."

Jack could tell that, although surprised, Sam was also pleased by his actions. She'd never anticipated such an open display of affection. In effect he was announcing their relationship to the entire SGC. Sure, it wasn't a secret, and the whole of the Pentagon probably knew about it by now, but this was different: this was the SGC, it was where Sam worked, and it was home.

Sam felt good about it; that Jack was open enough to want to show affection towards her publicly, in a place he still had a work connection with. It was like stepping out of that room they'd locked a long time ago: stepping out into the open and into the rest of their lives.

"It's New Year's Eve," he responded with a grin, "and it's going to be one hell of a year!"

"Is that a promise?" she responded, acknowledging his nod with a broad smile and a kiss on the cheek.

He was right; it was going to be one hell of a year and she was so looking forward to that. Searching his eyes and finding them sparkling with happiness, she could see that she wasn't the only one. Yeahsureyabetchya - one hell of a year!

Additional Authors Note, Christmas 2005: I'm taking a Christmas break, going away for a while, so there will be no updates to this fic until sometime in the New Year. You have been warned!


	17. Never Alone: Moving On

Title: Never Alone: Moving On…

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst/Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Use of mild language

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9 onwards

Spoilers: General S9 spoilers

Summary: Sam is upset to discover that Jack is moving on… from what and to where?

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone Part 16: One Hell of a Year!

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2006 Su Freund

Author's Note: This chapter fulfils the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo Group fic challenge made before Christmas 2005 (Challenge 20, issued 17 Dec) to use the line "Daniel has a beautiful heart..." and/or the word 'rebel'. This uses both and, partly because of the intervening vacation (both mine and that little known vacation period called Christmas g ), is a little shorter than recent chapters of this fic. As usual, this fic has not been beta read so please forgive any dumb errors. I hope that any mistakes I have made do not detract from enjoyment of the story.

**Never Alone: Moving On…**

As soon as Sam finished her phone call with Cassie it rang again. Jack! Her heart leapt excitedly at the sound of his voice, although she was a little distracted by her conversation with Cassie.

Her young friend had endlessly rambled on about Chris and his many merits. Sam was pleased that Cassie was happy, and even more pleased now that she knew Chris had the Jack O'Neill seal of approval. She figured that meant a whole heck of a lot. Jack was not necessarily an easy man to win over. After all, sometimes he had a slightly jaundiced view of life and the human race.

This was to be expected. Jack's years of training and experience had forced him to look for the downside in everything. Being prepared isn't an endeavour that's exclusive to Boy Scouts. Despite that, Jack was not a pessimist, far from it. He was strange mix of pessimism and optimism that could be pretty hard to follow if you didn't know him, and sometimes even if you did. He could still surprise her after all these years and she loved that. For example, it was more than a surprise that he seemed to have taken such an instant liking to Chris.

It irked her a little that Jack had met this apparent paragon of virtue and she hadn't, although she was forever grateful to Cassie for giving up her Christmas with Chris and friends to keep Jack company over that festive period. Jack had enjoyed himself when he might have been miserably alone and lonely. She envied him his happy Christmas when she had been so despondent, but she didn't begrudge him that pleasure. He deserved it; he deserved way more than that.

Sam thought she would always regret not being there with him for that first Christmas but genuinely hoped, and believed, that there would be many more to come: and New Years too. Never Alone! Her hands almost automatically moved to caress the pendant Jack had bought for her birthday as she thought of those words. He had meant it; she knew that, despite that at that point they hadn't even started dating.

It warmed her to know that she had the love of such a good, honorable and caring man. The knowledge kept her company on those many occasions that they were apart.

As Jack called, Sam was looking at the picture of Chris that Cassie had sent via her cell phone. At New Year, Sam had asked Jack what Chris looked like but, as can be the way of things with men, his description was entirely unhelpful.

"Is he good looking?" she'd asked.

"Um, how the hell would I know?" Jack had answered uselessly.

"For crying out loud Jack, you must have some idea what the guy looks like."

"Well, he has kind of scruffy dark brown hair, um, and he's tall but shorter than me and, um, slim build but looks pretty fit… Jeez, Sam, he's just an average kind of guy."

"Average? What's average?"

"Didn't Cassie describe him to you?"

"Sure but she's bound to think he's gorgeous, no matter what."

"Look, he's got a head, body, two arms and legs, requisite numbers of fingers, but I can't vouch for his toes… what more do you want?"

"Oh Jack! Men can just be so exasperating! You say he looks pretty fit? Is he an athletic type?"

"He isn't a sports jock Sam, you know that, but he likes sports, sure."

"But he's the intellectual type?"

"I guess… at least he wears glasses sometimes." Jack had winked, smiling impishly, and Sam had responded by eying him suspiciously.

"Are you making fun of me?" she'd asked and Jack had tried to look innocent but hadn't been able to keep a straight face. "He's not a geek, is he?" she'd added as the implication of his glasses jibe hit home.

"Sam!"

"Well I wanna know what he's like. You've met him and..."

"You haven't so you're pissed. Am I right? Sam, Cassie likes him, so if he had two heads and a tail would it matter?"

"He'd be a little conspicuous on campus but I guess we'd learn to live with it," she'd chuckled. "He isn't the rebel type, is he?" she'd added with hasty afterthought.

She feared that Cassie might be led too far astray. There was nothing wrong with a little rebellion, but not too much. Sam dreaded the day that the young girl might decide to shave her head and join a sect, get into trouble with the police, or do something equally terrifying or threatening to her future prospects. She swore she would die if Cassie ever came home with a black dyed spiky haircut and white and black make-up plastered all over her face.

So far, Cassie had sailed through her teens with apparent level-headedness. Like all teenagers she'd had her moments, but nothing extreme. Sam didn't want to see that change. Janet would have relied on her to keep the young woman on the straight and narrow and Sam did not want to let her friend down.

When Cassie had decided to attend UCLA, Sam imagined she would walk into a hot bed of anti-establishment student protest and get embroiled in something beyond her control, and beyond Sam's ability to handle.

"Rebel type?" Jack was a little puzzled but continued, "I don't think so. He's not totally straight down the middle but that's okay as I'm not necessarily that kind of a guy either. Actually, he reminded me a little of Daniel."

"Daniel?"

"Remember the old naïve, innocent and over-enthusiastic Daniel that you first met? A little like that."

"We were all naïve and innocent back then, Jack," she'd grinned.

"Speak for yourself. I was never naïve and innocent. I was born middle aged and wise," he'd joked, waggling his eyebrows amusingly. Obligingly, Sam had laughed.

"Daniel has a beautiful heart," she had replied, "and he always did. So if Chris is something like that I guess I'm happy."

"Feel better now?"

"I still want to meet him for myself."

"Okay, so next time you talk ask her to send you a photo, and we'll get down to California ASAP so you can meet him, okay?"

"With us two, ASAP probably means in 6 months."

"The way our lives seem to go you're probably right," he agreed regretfully.

"You know that going to California means meeting Mark and the family, right?" Sam had said, realising that Jack was slightly nervous about meeting them.

"As if I could forget. Maybe we could invite Cassie and Chris to Colorado Springs," Jack had joked sheepishly.

"You have to meet Mark sometime, Jack."

"Why?"

She'd been a little taken aback by that response. Why ask why? He knew perfectly well why.

"Because they're my family," she'd responded.

"You want me to meet them." It was a statement, not a question.

"Of course I do. Jack, is that a problem?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

"They'll love you. You'll be great with the kids and Mark, well…"

"He is so going to love having a General drop in."

"He'll be okay."

"What if he doesn't like me?"

"If he doesn't, so what? I'll still love you, honey."

Sam smiled in reminiscence of what had happened next, a well and truly X-rated endeavour.

The picture of Chris was a head and shoulders shot but Sam thought he looked pretty damned cute and wondered about his physique. Jack had said he looked lean but fit so she was trying to picture the rest of him with a body similar to Jack's, which was extremely nice in her opinion.

Chris's hair was slightly unruly, dark brown as Jack had said, and he had piercing blue eyes that reminded her of a certain Doctor Daniel Jackson, as well as a very engaging smile. Apart from the unruly brown hair, the resemblance to Daniel ended there. Sam recalled what Jack had said about similarities to Daniel and smiled. She loved the guy to bits and would be pleased for that to be true, although Daniel had his annoying traits. Who didn't?

Good looking? Sam would certainly call him that, even if Jack wouldn't have a clue what good looking was if it got up off its ass and punched him in the nose!

Jack's call made her jump because she was concentrating hard on trying to discern something more from the picture of Chris. Cassie had promised she'd send more via e-mail and Sam hoped there'd be a full body shot so she could put him into perspective.

She had to admit that she wasn't really listening to Jack but still thinking about Chris, when Jack's words hit her brain full force.

"I've decided to sell the house in Colorado," he confessed.

"What?" she said, waking from her self imposed stupor.

"Ah! That got you listening."

"I was listening."

"You so were not."

"Was so."

"Were not."

"Jack!"

He sighed and repeated himself.

"I said that I've decided to sell the house in Colorado."

"That's what I thought you said. Um… w-why, what…?" Sam was shocked, wondering why and what it portended.

"Sentimentalism and denial only get you so far but then you have to get practical. I stand to make a bundle what with the sale and taxes, so I might as well take advantage. It's not like I need the place when I'm down there. My rank gives me certain privileges when it comes to accommodation. So it's a waste for the place to be sitting empty. We both know I'm never coming back to the SGC."

His words were met with what Jack took to be a stunned silence and he wondered what Sam was thinking.

"Sam?" he said.

She realised it was foolish but the notion that Jack was abandoning the Springs was upsetting. Sure it was sentimental but so much had happened there. The house was a part of Jack. His words, "never coming back to the SGC", echoed in her head and Sam suddenly understood that she had never fully accepted the truth of that. If Jack did then what else did his acceptance portend? Within seconds some totally ridiculous notions about their relationship flitted through her head.

"I-I… that's a bit of a surprise, Jack. Y-you can always stay with me if you're here, you know that don't you?"

Her tone was nervous and tentative and Jack was slightly taken aback by that reaction, even more curious about what she was thinking. Did she believe he thought he could simply move in with her whenever he was in town? He didn't want to take over her life, however much he wanted to be a large part of it, and needed to make that clear to her.

"I hope you don't think… I'm not taking that for granted, Sam. I didn't mean..." He really didn't want her to be thinking that and it disturbed him that she might. Of course it was the furthest thing from Sam's mind but Jack was unable to discern those thoughts.

"That's not it…"

"Are you upset?" he asked bluntly. "What is it, Sam?"

Maybe she was thinking the opposite of him taking her for granted; that he didn't want to be in Colorado, which meant he didn't want to be with her. Jack was desperately trying to guess. Phone calls could be so frustrating. He couldn't see her face, her eyes; couldn't perceive her thoughts from body language or reactions.

"I'm not… You're giving up on Colorado Springs. I guess it's a little unsettling…"

"You don't think this is in any way connected with us, do you? This is pragmatism, pure and simple. Sam, honey… tell me what you're thinking here, will ya? Throw me a bone."

"It's okay Jack, I'm just being foolish."

Her tone revealed her fears and Jack was amazed that she could suspect this move affected them in that way. Surely she knew he was nuts about her and would never abandon her.

"I didn't mean to imply anything," he reassured, "I'm moving on from Colorado Springs but not from you, Sam. Never from you. So, whatever you're thinking, that isn't what this is all about. Jeez, I wish I could see your face right now. I wish I were in the room with you. If I'd thought this would upset you…"

"It's okay. Really."

"Is it? If you'd rather I didn't sell…"

"It's okay Jack. You're right. Of course it's the right thing to do."

"I already have a place in Minnesota, you know, and…"

"You don't have to explain, Jack, it's fine. It seems I'm the one who is being sentimental and in denial Jack, not you. I promise, it's okay."

"Right. Good."

"What are you going to do with all your stuff?"

"I guess I might have to get rid of some of it. Or maybe it can come up here to my new house."

"New house? You're getting a new house?"

Jack got the feeling he was putting his big feet right in it with this conversation and wasn't sure why. Did she feel excluded from his decision-making? Should he include her? They weren't married or even engaged, or not yet anyway. He wasn't sure what she was expecting and her reactions kept him off balance. He rushed to explain.

"You know I never did plan on spending the rest of my life in this apartment. It was always a temporary measure but I never got the time to do anything about moving. I get that huge honkin' housing allowance and I should take advantage of it. An apartment so isn't me. I want a place with a nice yard, green with trees. Less light interference for the telescope, basketball hoop on the wall yadda, yadda, yadda."

"Somewhere like you have in the Springs," she finished for him.

"Something like that, yes," he chuckled. "It's time I moved on and accepted I'm here for the duration, isn't it?"

"Pushing paper around your desk and spending your days arguing with the likes of Mike Grafton about resources?"

"Um… well it's not always like that, or that bad."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that."

"Me neither Sam. I still miss the action, of course I do, but I figure that's all over for me," he sounded regretful and she wished she could reach out and touch him, smooth his face with her fingers, "There's no going back and the sooner I accept that the better. I'm in the right place and I have to live with it and make it work for me. I have to settle. I haven't got any option, have I?"

"I wish I could settle with you," she said and it came out of her mouth before she knew it. Sam was wishing she could take it back. She meant it, of course, but what would Jack think? She could feel her cheeks flush bright red and was grateful he couldn't see her.

"Me too," he agreed, followed by a slightly awkward silence while each considered what the other meant. Hastily he moved on, covering his embarrassment, and hers, "Gladys Fox offered to help me find a place. She's bringing me lots of stuff about houses she thinks I might like that are available to lease."

Sam liked the idea of Gladys helping, although was a tad envious. She wanted to be the one who was helping. Picking out a house with Jack would be a wonderful thing to do. At least there was a pretty good chance that Gladys would help him to find a very nice place - somewhere that she might like too. As Sam was probably unavailable to help out, Gladys seemed an excellent substitute.

"Gladys? You've seen her? How is she? I feel guilty that we've never made it over there for that dinner she mentioned."

"She's a wonderful woman. I can see why you like her so much, Sam. The offer for dinner is still open, by the way. We'll make it one of these days."

"Sure we will. It's good of her to offer to help you. I wish I could."

"So do I, baby. I want you to like wherever I choose."

"You do?"

"Of course I do. I keep hoping you might spend a lot of time there."

"If I ever make it up to DC again," she sighed.

Jack had spent New Year's Eve alone with her, and they had seen the year in spectacularly with a display of sexual athletics that a much younger couple would have envied and been proud of. Next morning, however, Jack had to get back to DC. He had already pushed it by being there for as long as he had and his rapid return was inevitable. One brief night and they hadn't seen each other since.

"I'm wondering about Alexandria," Jack said, breaking into her thoughts, "although there are some other places; Arlington, maybe. Gladys has a few suggestions."

"Sounds great!"

"Really?"

"Yes, Jack, really."

Sam realised he wanted to please her and her doubts fled. She was a fool. Their physical separation had made her think too much; worried that absence didn't make the heart grow fonder. They were both in the military and that was their life. It was idiotic for her to believe that Jack might have cooled towards her just because he hadn't seen her for a while. A while? Way too long, in Sam's opinion.

"I'm missing you babe," he said as if discerning her thoughts.

"Babe?"

"You don't like babe?"

"I never did like it much but I might make an exception for you. I'm missing you too, Mr Scarecrow."

Jack felt a sense of relief. Whatever crisis this conversation had precipitated in Sam's mind seemed to be over. She'd called him Mr Scarecrow and to him that meant something: affection, friendship, and intimacy - love. It made him yearn to hold her in his arms. He so wanted to touch her. A simple touch could have kept him going for a long time; it always had.

Those accidental brushes against her hand had not always been as accidental as they appeared. His hand on the small of her back as he guided her to her destination and so many other small but significant examples. Their eyes would meet, the brief connection would be made, and he had savoured those moments, and every moment he could legitimately connect with her without stepping over the lines they'd drawn for themselves, and those that had been drawn for them.

Sam couldn't quite believe it when the phone rang again almost as soon as Jack hung up. To her surprise it was Gladys Fox, who promised to keep her in the loop about choosing Jack's new house. She said she would send Sam copies of all the pictures and information Jack got, as well as calling her regularly about properties. It was the next best thing to helping choose it herself and became their little secret.

Gladys was as good as her word. She would call Sam to describe places in minute detail, until they settled on the perfect place for Jack to rent. Luckily, Jack liked it too.

Jack cursed because, at the time he had available to get to the Springs and organise what to do with his things, Sam was on a mission so they didn't get together. Nor was she around to help him sort out his apartment. Although happy about his move, as he pulled up at the new house Jack's heart was heavy and he felt lonelier than he had for a long time. It didn't seem right that he was doing this without her there.

"It's just wrong on so many levels," he muttered as he turned the key in the door.

He pondered those thoughts. Jack had got so entangled with Sam that a lot of things now seemed wrong without her. She had become a crucial element in his life. The notion made his heart hammer rapidly. He wasn't sure how he would bear life without her in it anymore and it scared the hell out of him.

However distant she was in miles, Sam was always there like a candle burning brightly to light his way, and his life would be a dark and desolate place without that light. Terrifying though it was, at the same time, the increasing reliance was exhilarating and comforting. He liked the air of permanence it provided and was more settled in his own mind than he had been for many years.

Love had never been the only thing that had made him happy and complete with his ex-wife, Sara. Jack enjoyed married life: that someone was there for him; someone to support him, to talk to and confide in – as much as Jack O'Neill had ever been able to confide. He'd liked the permanence, the consistency, the companionship and the feeling that he was settled.

A man whose childhood had been as traumatic and unsettling as Jack's might have found forming such a bond difficult, if not impossible. Jack, however, was not that man. Sure, he could be a loner, and had been for many years, but that wasn't what his heart and soul desired. He needed and wanted the ties and bonds of friendship, companionship and love. Only Sam could provide all of these things and he suspected that she yearned for the same things from him.

They had been lucky to find and grow to love each other. Not many couples could claim a similarly strong bond, borne from their years of fighting and working side by side, the truly amazing and unbelievable things they had witnessed and participated in, and saving each other's lives and souls on innumerable occasions.

Sam had saved his life both literally and figuratively and Jack would love her for that, always. Her love and friendship was the fuel that stoked his fire and he missed her like hell when she wasn't around. Right now, soon to be surrounded by crates, boxes and furniture, he yearned for her company.

Placing his hand in his pocket, he fondled the ring box that he had put there for safe keeping while moving, wondering if he would ever summon the courage to ask her to become his wife and spend the rest of her life with him.

His yearning for that was overwhelming as he moved into a new house and acceptance of a new life, and he sat on the unfurnished floor with his head in his hands thinking about that as he waited for the removal truck to reach its destination.

'Sam, I so wish you were here with me,' he thought.

Right now, he wanted, needed and loved her more than ever. Sometimes life could be so full of crap!


	18. Never Alone: …And Moving In

Title: Never Alone: …And Moving In

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst / Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: use of mild language and small references to sex

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9 onwards

Spoilers: General S9 spoilers

Summary: Filled with frustration and doubt, Jack moves into his new house

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone Part 17: Moving On…

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2006 Su Freund

Author's Note:

1. The fic challenge on the As The Stargate Turns Group this week (issued 1 Jan 2006) was to use the line "I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected" and/or the word 'horseback' and I have used both in this fic.

2. My eternal thanks to Livi for our thought provoking discussions. She provided me with so much useful information about various aspects of accommodation and locations in the US, particularly the Washington / Virginia area and Alexandria, as well as supplying a lot of other helpful information, some of which will no doubt be used in future fic. She was also good enough to read through my draft fic and pick up some errors, as well as supplying me with some additional ideas. This chapter is dedicated to her. Despite her help, any and all errors in this story are entirely my responsibility. Also thanks to Lee for some useful information about hops, and pilots, used in this fic.

**Never Alone: …And Moving In**

Jack stared in frustration at the unopened boxes scattered through the house. Moving was such a pain! Now he had to find somewhere to put everything and make the place a home. In the long run it was going to be worth it, but the short term filled him with dread and he wished Sam were there to help him decide what to do. Jack wanted this to be a place where she felt truly at home. As far as he was concerned it was as much hers as it was his – or he wanted it to be.

Stepping out into the yard for some air, he smiled. It was going to be so great there once the plants and trees came to life again over spring and summer. And Sam loved the fall, the leaves turning all shades of brown and red as the trees prepared for their winter wait for life, and starting that journey all over again. There was something comforting about the cyclical nature of life. In fact, Mother Nature was one heck of a woman all round.

He was trying to be optimistic but Jack had grave doubts about the decisions he'd been making. Selling the house in Colorado Springs was such a final act, closing a chapter of his life that had brought great sorrow, joy, pain and pleasure. The SGC had been an adrenalin rush of a ride!

Jack had also made friends there: close and dear friends who meant a great deal to him. Although the most intimate of these were Sam, Daniel, Teal'c and George Hammond, Jack counted a number of people in that group. He mourned their loss along with the loss of the life he had led there.

He was a man of action and always had been. Now he seemed to be a man of inaction. Jack missed it and always would but knew there was no way back. This was going to be as close as he got anymore: sitting behind a desk shuffling papers; having argumentative meetings with bureaucratic morons, or worse – politicians; an occasional side trip to exotic locations as far flung as Antarctica; and if he was lucky he might get to go off world once in a very long while.

Jack hoped he'd made the right decision about this house and that he could be happy there, while still knowing that his heart and soul were elsewhere.

'Pretty damned depressing, Jack,' he told himself, 'but you just need to suck it up, soldier.'

While they were house hunting Gladys Fox had run rings around Jack. The woman was a demon and Jack marvelled at her energy, as well as her quick wit and gritted determination and pluck. She was a handful, almost forcing Jack to look at various brochures and drive around the likes of Alexandria, Arlington and a whole A-Z of places that were a reasonable commute to the Pentagon.

In the end she had fallen in love with a house in Alexandria, which was a location that Jack had decided he liked a lot. He loved the house too, and what hope did he stand of making his own choice when Gladys was at his elbow and secretly conspiring with Sam behind his back?

He loved it, but thought it a bit too large and unmanageable. Or maybe it was that his old house in the Springs had been small and that was what he was used to. Gladys argued against a small place, telling Jack that he was a General in the US Air Force and, "damn it all, you should live like one."

He wasn't sure he saw it quite that way. Jack's true home was a cabin in Minnesota and always would be, and he had never been a man to desire material things, although he did like comfort. When you spend half your life sneaking around out in the field, getting coated with sand or mud and camping in uncomfortable and cramped conditions, comfort at home was a necessity. On the other hand, it didn't take much to be more comfortable than that so it's relative.

Nevertheless, it wasn't as if the house was gigantic and it was pretty much the norm for the area. At least it wasn't one of those mansions Generals were entitled to if they opted to live somewhere like Fort Belvoir.

He had joked about the idea of moving to Springfield. When he discovered there was such a place in Virginia the notion of emulating his hero, Homer Simpson, had overtaken his imagination for a while.

"For crying out loud, Springfield!" he'd exclaimed with a big childish grin on his face. "Maybe I can live next door to Homer and Bart. Move over Ned, I'm movin' in!"

Gladys had found it amusing and Sam laughed when she told her, but then Gladys took Jack to Alexandria and his fate was sealed.

The city had so much history attached to it and was an easy commute to the Pentagon. Its Old Town, by the Potomac and part of the original settlement dating back in 1749, was a bustling hive of activity with attractive stores and restaurants. That area was a bit beyond Jack's means, and way too central a place to live for his tastes, but it was appealing.

Jack could envisage wandering around with Sam, perhaps going to the farmer's market on a Saturday morning, maybe dropping in for an occasional drink at a nice bar or for a meal in one of the cosy looking restaurants.

He smiled at the notion of this dog friendly area. Storeowners welcomed dogs, and many had their own pooches sprawled over the floor of their stores, watching the customers browse with a wary eye. The Holiday Inn, which was located across the street from the City Hall, even hosted a dog happy hour on their patio in summer. He found that idea charming and even began to wonder if it was time to get a dog of his own.

Jack loved dogs. They simply were the best people you could find on planet Earth. The absentee nature of his job had stopped him from getting one but, settled in a place like Alexandria in a house with a big yard, maybe he could consider it. It was a dream worth savouring.

Then he remembered that Sam seemed to be more of a cat person. Ack! Jack didn't like cats so much, although he guessed he could tolerate them. They were just way too independent for his liking. He was drawn to the loyalty and devotion displayed by dogs - his kind of people.

Those thoughts provoked fantasies of living in a nice house with Sam, cats, dogs and kids. It was a dream that, mere months ago had hardly seemed possible, but now…? Dammit, he didn't even know if Sam wanted kids. Laughing at himself, he decided he was being a bit too fanciful. Before even considering any of that he had to ask Sam to marry him. When it came down to it, Jack didn't give a rat's ass about dogs, cats or even children – just her. The rest would be a bonus.

Jack decided that Gladys was right about the house. He really ought to do some, entertaining at home. It was the way of things in DC circles but Jack wasn't even sure where to start. His special omelette was not something one could serve to Generals and the like for dinner, although he figured Gladys would enjoy one.

Also, he wasn't married like so many of them were, with wives who seemed to be born for that sort of thing. Gladys was a natural and he knew that she would advise him if he wanted or needed it. Even if he were married, Sam would not be that kind of wife. She had her own life and career to think about without having to concern herself with his. Jack would never ask that of her. Sam's future was way more important than his, although he might help the Stargate Program some by becoming more of a politician than he was. It was a gradual process but he was getting there – kind of.

Even the word politician made Jack want to spit. He so hated that about DC. But he was stuck there now and had to learn to swim along with the tide, or drown trying. Jack was not the drowning kind; he was the kind that would fight until the bitter end to keep his head above the water, and that was now the life he had to settle for. Maybe he could begin to like it. And pigs might fly!

Many times Jack had been known to quip, "I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected", and now he had politicians coming out of his ears as well as every other orifice you could mention, many of them un-elected. His derisory view of politicians was a running joke with his old friends in the SGC.

Daniel made a point of collecting political jokes, joke books, satire and related ephemera especially to give them to Jack. The older man would moan and grumble when Daniel gave him such a gift but he had grown very fond of that little habit and Daniel knew it.

Maybe it had started as a way of getting under Jack's skin but nowadays it went way beyond that. Jack had quite a collection and treasured each item, and Daniel was constantly hunting for suitable things to add to that collection.

Jack knew he could afford to have a fairly swanky house. He was a Major General and had been in the Air Force for a long time, so his salary was pretty good, as was the housing allowance he would be getting, which would mainly pay the rent. He had no family to keep, except for his mother's expenses, and didn't pay any alimony. Cassie was not far from being self-sufficient; Janet had ensured that.

Being a member of the US Armed Forces also gave him other privileges. There were perks, like reduced prices in the PX in Fort Myers, close to the Pentagon. Fort Belvoir was not that far away and, if he chose, he could shop in the PX there, which sold just about anything you could think of at reduced rates. Jack also saved a lot of money by eating at work on a frequent basis. He really didn't get around to eating at home that often.

One of the best perks were the hops, which meant that Armed Forces personnel could hitch a free ride to almost anywhere in the world on military flights. Jack had taken a lot of advantage of that over the years and was well-travelled man, both inside and outside of the United States. In the grand scheme of things, pilots were a pretty small community, and many of the commercial ones were ex-military. This meant that other pilots could often get reductions on commercial flights too. Sometimes it was a matter of whom you knew, and Jack knew one heck of a lot of people.

The Armed Forces offered a lot of benefits that helped reduce the expenses of their personnel. Someone like Jack, with his rank and responsibilities, probably could have earned way more if he were in an equivalent job in a private company. All the perks added a lot to the overall attractiveness of the Armed Forced package, although they owned you for years even after you retired, which many might see as a downside.

The sale of the house in the Springs was going to net him a tidy profit. When he came to think about it, he was laughing all the way to the bank, although he worked damned hard for it, and had done for years, so he figured that was okay. In the final analysis, Jack didn't actually spend that much of his hard earned cash.

Didn't he deserve a nice place where he could rest his weary ass when he managed to get home? Keeping house in a larger place might be a pain but he could probably afford to pay someone to clean for him, and even to do the yard work. It wasn't as if he had that much time to do it himself and when he did get time that was the last thing on Earth he wanted to be doing with it.

So he had gone with the flow and rented a larger house. The one they chose had been built in the fifties so was fairly modern, a traditional detached rambler. Although a rambler, it actually had two levels as the basement was fully useable space with big picture windows, and led directly into the back yard through a large patio door.

It just about doubled the square footage and was a bright, light space, which housed another bedroom and bathroom, as well as the recreation/family room and a laundry room. Jack figured he could virtually live down there if that was what he wanted, rarely venturing into the rest of the house. All he needed was to put some beer and snacks into the refrigerator that was already there.

Overall it was bigger than the apartment that he had just moved out of. Altogether, there were four bedrooms, which is one of the reasons Jack considered it to be big, plus three full bathrooms. The other bedrooms, living room, dining room and kitchen were on the main floor of the building and all the rooms were spacious, light and airy. One of the bedrooms had been used as a study and Jack would retain it for that purpose. He couldn't imagine why he would need four bedrooms.

Jack had lots of furniture and other stuff to move in, but not enough to fill the place. He figured that some new furniture would be required and hoped Sam might be willing to help him pick it out. That, at least, might be a task they could share. Generally Jack hated shopping, but choosing stuff for his own home with Sam could be fun – until he got bored with it!

The house stood in just over half an acre of land, with a large neat lawn at the front, and what would be pretty flowerbeds come spring, and it had fairly long driveway leading to the double garage. At the back, the yard was spacious, with a large patio leading to the lawn, and plenty of trees. All in all it was fairly private, something that appealed to Jack above almost anything.

The journey to the Pentagon only took about 20 minutes from there, and it was a hop and a skip into the centre of Alexandria, and all its attractions. There was enough there to keep one occupied without having to cross the Potomac, if one so desired.

Busy unpacking as he was, Jack didn't think much about the sound of a car pulling up close to the house and carried on emptying the box of kitchen equipment while recently made coffee awaited his pleasure. Then he heard Gladys's voice calling from the front door so stopped what he was doing and picked his way through the obstacle course of unpacked boxes to greet her.

"Gladys, come in!" he cried, pleased that he might have some company in his solitude.

He hoped she might stay for a cup of coffee and a chat, which could help lift his mood. Jack felt so lonely and down, the move having unsettled him more than he could have guessed. He wondered whether his blues might have more to do with Sam's absence than the move itself, but couldn't distinguish those feelings from the ones of loss he still felt for the SGC. He was trying his damnedest not to dwell.

Stepping into the lobby, his eyes widened as Gladys entered followed by a mop of very familiar blonde hair. He froze, heart hammering rapidly at the sight of the woman he loved standing in his doorway and his negative mood lifting immediately. Gladys smiled at his reaction thinking that a similarly idiotic grin was probably plastered all over the face of the woman she had brought with her.

"Surprise!" Sam exclaimed.

"You're good at those," he replied, still too stunned to move.

Thinking she ought to break the spell of this frozen tableau, Gladys spoke.

"I told Sam I would pick her up at the airport and bring her over, Jack, but I can't stay." She smiled engagingly and Jack turned towards her.

"The work of a General's wife is never done, huh?" he quipped, "Your husband is a slave driver," he added with that cheeky smile that Gladys always found so endearing.

"But we all love him madly," she said.

"You betchya!" Jack's grin broadened.

"Actually," Gladys continued, "I have to confess that I am having some me time. I'm going riding."

"You still ride?" Sam asked.

"You don't, Sam?"

"I never kept it up. I never seemed to have the time."

"My dear girl, you mean I wasted all that time teaching you the finer equestrian arts and you stopped?"

Sam shrugged a little sheepishly.

"I didn't know you could ride a horse," Jack declared with surprise, eyeing Sam.

"You did so. What about…?" she replied, drawing to a halt when she realised that Gladys might be an Air Force wife, and married to General Fox, but she probably didn't know anything about the Stargate Program, "It's been a long time since I did it for pleasure, Jack. I used to love it. After mom died Gladys taught me. It helped a little." She turned towards Gladys and gave her an affectionate peck on the cheek and a hug. "Gladys, I wouldn't say your efforts were wasted…"

"Then you ought to come with me one of these days, Sam," Gladys interrupted. "I find it so relaxing and it gets me away from everything. There's nothing that blows away the cobwebs better than being out in the open air, flying along on horseback," she said wistfully.

"I will, I promise," Sam vowed, smiling at her old mentor.

"Um, just like that dinner you said you'd come over to eat." Sam blushed and started to stammer a response. "Sam, I'm kidding. I'd love to see you both but I know there are probably other things you can do with your time, most of which I would adore if only I were young and in love." She winked mischievously and Jack laughed.

"Young? I wish," he responded, taking Sam by the hand and glancing at her with a boyish smile.

"Ack! You're young enough, Jack O'Neill," Gladys countered. "I should be your age!" Looking at her watch she added, "Now I really must be getting along. I have a date with a beautiful horse and I'm betting you two would like to play catch-up."

"I-I, um, thanks Gladys, for everything," Jack said moving towards her and giving her a hug. "And don't tell me you're not young enough, Gladys, because I won't believe you," he added impishly.

Gladys was surprised to find she was blushing and looked into Jack's face, smiling shyly.

"I hope you know how lucky you are, Sam my dear," she said, brushing Jack off and closing in on the door.

"I do know, Gladys, really I do."

Then, without further ado, the whirlwind that was Gladys Fox had gone.

"Whoa! She sure is something!" Jack exclaimed, staring open-mouthed at the door.

"She surely is. Jack… come here and hug me."

Jack didn't need to be told twice and moved towards her, his heart swelling with a feeling of love and desire that he hardly recognised. He could never have expressed how happy and relieved he was to see her at that moment. It was like a dream come true: he would share this with her, as he had wanted. Sam smiled but said nothing and Jack swept her up into his arms.

"I thought you might need some help," she said as he squeezed her tightly, his embrace making her melt into his body as it if was where she belonged, and she believed that it was. "I hope you don't mind."

"Mind? You're kidding, right? Look around. I could do with all the help I can get!" he joked, "So, thought you'd surprise me, huh?"

"I wanted to help you to move in, be here for you, see your house, help you to settle. Guided tour?" she grinned.

"Later. J-just let me hold you for a while." He swayed her in his arms, unbelievably happy to have her there. "Coffee?" he asked after a while.

"I'd love some."

"Then come this way through the obstacle course," he said, taking her hand and leading her around the boxes to the kitchen. "It's scary how much stuff one accumulates over the years," he added, gesturing at the chaos.

"Nothing like moving to bring that home to you," Sam agreed, eyeing her surroundings and liking what she saw. It was just as Gladys had described and the photos she'd received via e-mail simply hadn't done it justice. "Great place Jack" she commented.

"You like it? I so wanted you to. I'd like for you to have helped me choose a place Sam but…"

"I did help," she interrupted. Jack turned to look at her with surprise and she revealed the conspiracy.

"You are way too crafty," he smiled, pleased with her plotting.

"Blame Gladys for that. It was her idea."

"She's a scheming woman, but terrific with it, just like you."

"Scheming? Tsk! How dare you, Jack O'Neill," she admonished with a smile.

"Did I say that aloud?" he joked, "Whoops!" He grasped her, swinging her around in his arms, and then added, "I sure would love to go horse riding with you one day, Sam."

"You like horse riding?"

"I think I would love to do it with you."

"I'd really like that."

"That's settled, then. Maybe next time you're here."

"You know, if it hadn't been for Gladys… Sometimes I wonder how I would have borne my mother's death without her."

"Tell me?"

She nodded. The brief conversation Jack had with Betsy at the Pentagon weeks before had got her thinking. She never really had told Jack much about her own past. Did he resent that he had spilled his guts but got nothing in return? He had joked about it but Jack's jokes were so frequently a cover for something else. Sure, she had a few secrets but nothing compared with the one's he had shared with her, but she could share something and talking about this was a start.

So, as they sat amongst the boxes drinking their coffee, Sam told him about the loss of her mother and Gladys's interventions, which had made her life so much better than it might have been after such a heavy loss.

"I blamed dad for mom's death and Mark's attitude didn't help. He really turned against dad after that," Sam said, "I'm betting dad's heart was breaking and he didn't know how to deal with it, or us. Looking back I regret…"

"You made peace with Jacob a long time ago, Sam. Never forget that. He wouldn't want you to have those regrets."

"You're right. Poor dad. He probably blamed himself way more than either Mark or I did."

"Probably."

"Gladys helped me so much. She became a kind of proxy mom for quite a while. Took me under her wing. Without her and Betsy I would have gone insane. It was a bad time to lose a mother. You probably don't realise it at the time but when a girl becomes a teenager it's when she needs her mom the most."

"You were lucky to have her."

"Yes, I was. In so many ways she helped me to come to terms with it, both mom and dad, although you never really get over that loss. Sometimes I still wish that mom were here to see what I've accomplished, and just to talk to. Dad too."

"I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel the same way about grandma and grandpa. Of course you miss them. Both of them." He squeezed her gently and kissed the top of her head. "So she took you horse riding, huh?"

"I loved that. For a while I was obsessed and dreamed of being a show jumper or a jockey, but in the end I still came back to astronaut."

"Matt Mason," Jack responded with a grin.

"Right, nothing like hero worshipping a doll is there?" she said, pleased Jack remembered that from their first meeting at the SGC.

"Until you met me," Jack smirked, "a real life hero. General Jack O'Neill at your service ma'am," he teased and Sam slapped him playfully.

"You never take anything seriously," she complained with a faked pout, pleased he'd lightened the tone of the conversation.

"Life's too short."

"Yes it is, but we wasted enough of it, didn't we? I wish I'd known years ago how happy you would make me."

"It wouldn't have made any difference, would it? I still would have been your CO."

"Maybe we would have worked something out."

"Maybe."

The silence between them stretched way too long so Jack diverted the subject back to Gladys and horses.

"You said you haven't ridden in years, so did you give it up after moving away from Gladys?"

Sam smiled up at Jack, grateful for both the diversion, and the memory it provoked.

"Actually, no, I carried on for quite a while when we moved on. I found a riding school and dad thought it was worth paying for the lessons. It kept me happy and he didn't know how happy."

"Oh?" he queried and was surprised to see her blush, "You're blushing, which has me intrigued, so don't stop there."

Sam laughed and continued.

"You may not want to know."

"Stop teasing and spit it out for crying out loud!" Jack retorted, raising an inquisitive eyebrow to the heavens.

"I lost my virginity to the guy who was teaching me to ride," she stated, waiting for his reaction.

"You what?" Jack chuckled, highly amused by that notion, "You had an affair with your riding instructor? You minx! So he was teaching you to ride in more ways then one, huh?"

"You could say that," she smirked.

"Jeez, Sam, I bet dad would have been pissed to find out what he was paying for!"

"No doubt he would have been."

"Gladys never knew what her lessons would lead to."

"She might have appreciated it, actually."

"Did it go on for long?" he asked curiously, pleased to be learning something about Sam's past, albeit a slightly bizarre something: totally unexpected and surprising.

"Long enough. I thought I loved him of course, but it was just a crush. He broke my heart and that's when I gave up riding."

"He broke your heart? My poor baby," he kissed her cheek with a smile. "So where'd you do it? In the stables? Out in the open country? Tell Jack all about it."

"Jack!"

"Oh, come on, don't be a spoil sport," he pleaded.

"Whenever and wherever the opportunity arose. Dad thought Kevin was kind to drive me home after lessons. It never even occurred to him what we might have been getting up to in the car."

"Kevin? You lost your virginity to a Kevin?" Jack teased, "Oy! So was he any good, this Kevin?"

"Any good at what?"

"Good in bed, what do you think I mean?" he winked.

"He was okay, but no cigar," she grinned. "And before you try fishing for compliments, General O'Neill, you are so way better that this guy was in a totally different league and that wasn't even the minors. You're the best."

"Wow! Really?"

"No bullshit."

"What about…?"

"Don't even ask!"

"Alright, already. Just curious."

"What would you think if I asked about you and Sara?"

"That's different. We were married for ten years."

"Different? Maybe, but that doesn't stop me from being curious."

"We probably shouldn't discuss exes."

"You started it."

"I so did not!"

"You're right, you didn't. Whoops! Okay, change of subject. We really should get on with some work."

"Unpacking?"

"You have something else in mind?"

"Actually, I wouldn't mind going for a walk. Fresh air, show you around the place."

"I have been to Alexandria before, you know. I worked at the Pentagon, remember?"

"Sure. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, but I haven't. I wanna get to know my new home town, with the woman I love on my arm."

"Cute, Jack."

"I know," he grinned.

"There still lots to do," she objected.

"A lot of the really important stuff is done. There's always later, or tomorrow. It's a sunny day, maybe a little cold, but sunny, and if it snowed tomorrow we'd be pissed we didn't go out today."

"Gee, you'd say just about anything to avoid unpacking, wouldn't you? I can't recall snow being on the weather forecast."

"But at this time of year it could happen at any time," he whined, a pleading look in his eyes. Sam caved. She never could resist those puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, show me the town, mister!"

As they walked around, Sam thought Jack was a little like a giddy schoolboy who had found a new toy and wanted to show it off. It was pretty obvious that he had fallen for the charms of Alexandria and she had to admit that she couldn't blame him for that. The Old Town had many charms, although built up around it over the years was a more modern place.

The folk of Alexandria, however, had had the good sense to agree to strict architectural and demolition guidelines for the Old Town to keep it from being spoiled and, as a result, had the dubious pleasure of attracting huge numbers of tourists each year. Alexandria, after all, held an interesting place in the early history of the United States and its fight for independence from the English throne thousands of miles away.

George Washington himself had had a town house there and served as a Trustee of Alexandria, as well as Worshipful Master of the Masonic lodge. He'd had numerous social and business connections to the town and even drilled militia troops in the Market Square. The town had served as a supply and hospital centre during the Revolutionary conflict.

The city was also closely linked to the War Between the States, as the Alexandrians call it, and had been occupied by the Union military forces at the beginning of that conflict, becoming a logistical supply centre for the Federal Army. No doubt that must have pissed off the locals, whose sympathies were obviously on the Confederate side.

Robert E Lee's two boyhood homes were situated in the Old Town and both were now open to the public as museums. Having married into his family, Lee was related to George Washington. In the middle of Washington Street there stood a statue of a Confederate Soldier as a "monument to our Confederate dead", which still always had flowers laid at its base. The main highway to the Pentagon was named "Jeff Davis Highway" after the President of the Confederacy.

Ties to the military, and the defense of the nation, ran deep in Alexandria.

"You should feel right at home here, Jack," Sam commented as they walked arm in arm though the Market Square.

"With two Admirals, a couple of NASA scientists, a soon to be retired AF General and a couple of Colonels living on my street, I should think so," he joked. "I just wonder who isn't connected to the government in some way in this town. One of the biggest employers around here is the Department of Defense."

"You could be right about that, although lot of companies have their headquarters here."

"Yes, companies involved with defense contracts."

"And the Salvation Army," Sam countered.

"Just another type of uniform, Sam," he quipped and Sam smiled. "Did you know this place had huge ties to the slave trade? Bought and sold in this very square, one of the biggest slave markets in the country, if not the biggest."

Sam felt him shudder at the notion. Jack was a big believer in freedom. It's what he fought for and probably what he'd joined up for in the first place. She wondered how much of that was rooted in his unhappy childhood and being bullied, beaten and dominated by his father, locked in the cupboard and longing for his own freedom. So much complexity went into making this complicated man that she loved so dearly.

"Yes," she replied, "but ironically it also has a history of free black communities, and Afro-American's flourished here, with churches, social organisations and businesses. A lot of the early Afro-Americans were skilled artisans.

"Really? That's comforting."

"Did you know that, at his death, George Washington freed all his slaves? Their descendants still live here."

"You seem to know so much about this place, Sam. You really should become my tour guide and help me find my way around my new home town," he said with a smile.

Sam said nothing but leaned up to kiss his cheek and he turned his head, briefly possessing her lips and then unlinked arms and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close.

"Perhaps we should be getting home soon," he said, "although we should probably eat out before we go back."

"Know any good take-outs?"

"Not yet, but we can experiment if you like. You'd rather sit amongst the packing crates and eat?"

"Put like that it sounds slightly less appealing, but maybe we can eat out tomorrow. Right now I just want you all to myself, Mr Scarecrow."

"I think you'll find I have no objections to that Dorothy."

"Before we eat I think we ought to have some rip roaring sex, don't you agree?" she smirked.

"Rip roaring sex? Oh man, do I like the sound of that!"

"Good because I'm expecting you to do all the ripping and roaring."

"It would be an honor to rip and roar, Sam," he responded with a huge grin.

Then, turning into the sharp, cold wind, they made their way home and Jack unexpectedly realised that he was going to feel happy and at home in this place. His doubts about moving, selling his house in the Springs, and finally letting go of Colorado and the SGC were gone. He'd done the right thing, and made the right choice.


	19. Never Alone: FadeOut To Black

Title: Never Alone: Fade-Out To Black

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst / Romance

Content Level: Age 13+ There is an Adult Only version of this fic on my site at the above address (see What's New on main index page)

Content Warnings: Use of language and sexual situations

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9 onwards

Spoilers: General S9 spoilers

Summary: Jack asks Sam a very important question

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone Part 18: Moving On…

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2006 Su Freund

Author's Note: My response to fic challenge 22 (issued on 08 Jan on the As the Stargate Turns Yahoo Group which offered the phrase 'Goodnight Sweetheart' and/or the word 'fade-out'. This story uses both and, as with my other challenge fics (mainly this series!) has not been beta read, so please forgive any errors.

**Never Alone: Fade-Out To Black**

Jack stopped and watched Sam bent to her task of unpacking and arranging his things. Her back was turned but he could see the white of her neck, her blonde hair clinging to that adorable nape, her hands holding and examining the contents of his life.

Strong emotion overpowered his senses and he looked on helplessly, gulping it back. There was something so right about this situation. Jack shivered with an ache of longing that arced right through him and, before he knew it, spoke words that he had been afraid to utter and had been reserving for the right time and place.

"Sam, will you marry me?"

The words seemed to echo loudly around the silent room and he thought 'Crap!', shocked he'd said it and feeling his face redden with heat, 'where did that come from? This so isn't the moment!'

Momentarily frozen, Sam turned to face him, open-mouthed.

"W-what?" she stammered.

Uncertain what that reaction meant, and before she could say more, Jack hurried on nervously. He'd asked, it was too late to take it back and, frankly, he didn't want to, even if he wouldn't necessarily have chosen this particular moment to pop the all important question.

"I know I'm not perfect, and I'm not a real great catch, you could do a lot better for crying out loud, but… moving to this house and… this should be our house and… crap, I so meant to do this properly, just like it should be: flowers, a romantic dinner, dancing, down on my knee. Shit, I really screwed up this time," he sighed heavily, warily glancing at Sam and then down at his feet. Sam moved towards him, grasping his shoulders and forcing him to meet her eyes.

"Jack, say it again."

"Um…" he started, momentarily unable to speak. Fear engulfed him and stopped his mouth. His proposal had simply tumbled out and in many respects that had been way easier than all previous plans he'd had to ask her. At least it was out and there was no going back, hiding, or prevaricating. But now he had time to reflect, his mouth went dry with terror and words failed him. What if she says no?

"Jack?" she prompted when he failed to repeat the question, breathless with anticipation.

"I-I, um… Will you marry me?"

Taking her hand he stared into her eyes with hope and fear. Jack knew he could have picked better words, a better location and a better time. This had so not been what he'd pictured, but it was out and all he needed now was her response. His stomach churned madly as he waited and Sam stroked his cheek wordlessly, grasping his head and kissing him. As their lips drew apart, she hugged him and whispered in his ear.

"Yes, Jack."

With the feeling that a huge weight had lifted from him, Jack pulled back and silently stared at her, drinking in her happy smile. She'd said yes! And she'd said it immediately, seemingly without any doubt. His heart pumped rapidly and he was hardly able to draw a breath in his excitement and joy and was unable to tear his eyes away from her beautiful face. She'd said yes!

With a thrill of pleasure, Sam watched the range of emotions that briefly passed over his so frequently imperturbable face. Elation and relief replaced the mixture of fear and hope she'd seen earlier. Then he hugged her again, gleefully swinging her around in his arms, and Sam returned his firm squeeze, as ecstatic as her lover. Jack was unable to recall the last time he had felt this happy.

Remembering the ring, he groped in his pocket where he had kept it safely so he didn't lose track of it during the move and Sam watched in rapt fascination as he opened the box and removed its contents, taking her left hand in his and placing the ring on her finger, and then touching his lips to her knuckles. Her heart was filled with joy. He'd asked, at last, he'd done it! Holy Hannah, she was going to become Mrs O'Neill with two lls!

Thus it was that, amongst the chaos and clutter of his move and the as yet unopened packing crates, Samantha Carter and Jack O'Neill became engaged to be married. The ironic twist was that Sam actually found it to be quite romantic.

She stared at the ring for a while and then smiled and threw her arms around Jack, indicating that they should take a break and sit for a while. They leaned against a heavy packing case and Jack took her left hand in his, kissing it gently.

"It's a gorgeous ring, Jack," she proclaimed with a joyful smile.

"You think so?"

"Beautiful," she declared.

"Cassie thought you'd like it," he smiled.

"Cassie? She knows about this?"

"Well, she kinda stumbled across it at Christmas," he explained a little sheepishly.

That surprised Sam who then wondered how long ago Jack had bought the ring and how long he had been planning to propose. Refraining from comment, she kissed him instead and then Jack's arm snaked around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I love you Jack," she whispered.

"I hope so. We'll be married for a long time."

"Not so long, only forever," she responded with a smile, grasping his hand and squeezing and then absently rubbing it with her thumb.

"You said yes," he said, still a little disbelieving that his good fortune had held, his stomach continuing to churn but with excitement rather than terror.

"You didn't think I would?"

"I didn't know for sure. I wasn't taking it for granted. I know you love me but spending the rest of your life with me? That's one hell of a commitment. I'm not an easy man…" and then he chuckled, suppressing the fears that lay deep in his heart, "Trust Jack O'Neill to pop the question in the middle of all this mess. Sam, you deserved something so much more… romantic."

"This is pretty romantic."

"It is? You women sure have a weird way of looking at romance."

"You didn't need to wine and dine me, Jack, you never had to do that."

"I didn't? Sheesh! Just think of all the money I could have saved," he joked and Sam giggled.

"Not that I have any objections to being wined and dined, by the way," she added hastily.

"Didn't think so. I'll make it up to you, honey, I promise."

"Make it up to me? You have nothing to make up to me for. Never think that. I'm happy, Jack. Happy you asked me here and now. It kind of seems fitting don't you think? Moving onwards, and upwards," she laughed softly and Jack smiled.

"It does seem kind of fitting, yeah. But I had so many ideas about how to ask and where. I wanted it to be so perfect. Then I go and let my mouth run away with me and ask you now, of all the dumb things to do. Jimmy promised us free champagne if I proposed in his restaurant."

"Exactly how many people knew you were going to ask me?" she queried, eying him with amusement.

"Oh… just about everyone apart from you, I guess," he replied with a grin, "and me actually. I knew I wanted to but didn't know if I should."

"What? Why?"

"I just… well, I… there's the plucking up the nerve and the fear you'd say no part and then there's the 'am I really the right guy for Sam?' thing. So it's kind of tough, you know?"

Sam's stomach lurched at the notion of the fear a man must feel about popping that all-important question. It wasn't something she'd ever really considered before.

"My poor darling Mr Scarecrow," she said sympathetically, kissing his neck and moving up to his cheek. He turned his head so they could lock lips for a while. "By the way, it's me who gets to decide whether or not you're the right man, Jack, and you are," she added reassuringly, "I was never going to say no. This relationship is special, and so are you."

Jack responded by grinning inanely and looking deliriously happy and Sam was thrilled that she could bring him so much joy because it seemed like he'd had way too many joyless years. He deserved so much more and she hoped that she'd be able to provide that.

"You know, I was watching you unpack my stuff," he said softly, "and… Jeez… it just seemed so right that you were here doing that and… I got caught up in the moment. I've been wanting to ask for, well, a long time, and I've been thinking about you a lot lately a-and, as I said, caught up in the moment."

Realising he was prattling, Jack stopped talking and Sam was amused by his boyish nerves and exhilaration, wondering whether she looked equally as goofy. She sure felt like she did. Jack wasn't the only one whose heart hammered or whose stomach was plagued by excited nervousness.

"I'm glad. I wanted you to ask me for such a long time. I wanted that a lot."

"You did?" he said, responding with a gentle squeeze. "You could have asked me. I'm just sayin'…" he added.

"I wish I had that courage."

"You have plenty of courage."

"For that it takes a special kind. So thanks for finding yours, Jack."

His happy, self-satisfied smile made her heart leap. Sam thought his was the best smile ever. When his face dimpled and his eyes sparkled with pleasure it delighted her. She so loved that smile and always had.

"You're the courageous one wanting to take on a guy like me," he responded, "but I guess you know the worst so I hope you're going into this thing with your eyes open."

"So that's why you revealed so much and took me to Chicago?" she queried and he nodded.

"Although I think you got to know a little more than I really wanted you to know, Sam," he said ruefully.

"But I'm still here, aren't I? I might know the worst, Jack, but I know the best too." She pondered for a while and added, "I guess that means you had in mind to marry me all along, huh?"

"I said always, didn't I? And I meant it."

"Gee, Mr Scarecrow, th-that's…" she was visibly moved by that statement. Her voice shook a little and Sam couldn't find the right words, "God, I adore you," she managed to say, her face lightening up with a broad smile.

"I'm not sure a humble scarecrow like me is worthy of adoration, Dorothy, but I'll take love, respect, trust, friendship and anything else you have on offer," he replied light-heartedly.

"I'll willingly give you all of those in abundance, Jack, for the rest of my life."

"Right backatchya, Sam. I guess that's good if we're getting married."

They sat silently for a while, lost in thought as they contemplated the turn of events, and their feelings about them.

'Engaged to Jack O'Neill! Oh my god!' Sam thought, recalling all those times of wanting and thinking that this day would never come.

This was her third engagement and she hadn't yet made it down the aisle. She was hoping that this was going to be third time lucky. It seemed so clear that this was meant to be; that Jack was the one and always had been. Inside her head, she could hear Betsy laughing her ass off, but it certainly seemed that way to Sam. What a crazy world. She wondered what Jack would think when she told him that story.

Should she tell him? It worried her that the story highlighted that age difference he seemed to be a little paranoid about.

"So, third time lucky for you Sam, huh?" he said as if reading her thoughts, and Sam's eyes widened with surprise.

"God, I was just thinking that! This really is it, Jack. This time it's for real."

"Ya think?"

"It had better be! I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to grow old and cranky with you."

"Old and cranky? You've got some catching up to do," he retorted.

"You're not old."

"But I am cranky?"

"Can I take the Fifth Amendment on that one?" she joked, eliciting a smile from her fiancée. Fiancée? That sounded so good that she repeated it a few times in her head. Jack O'Neill's fiancée. Wow! Didn't that beat all? The conversation paused for a short time while Sam caressed Jack's chest.

"Do you believe in fate?" she asked tentatively.

"Not really, I believe we make our own fate," he responded, "Why?"

Slightly nervously, Sam proceeded to recount the tale of their previous encounter many years before and how she had secretly spied on him around the base and her heart had broken when he'd moved on. Jack listened with increasing incredulity and surprise, looking suitably stunned and saying nothing, but with mouth opening and closing like a fish trying to breath out of water.

"I don't suppose you would remember that," she said when finished, uncertain what thoughts might be going through his often unpredictable mind.

"Actually, now that you mention it, I do remember. A beautiful blue eyed pubescent girl whose stare and smile totally freaked me out! That was you? Oh my god! You were 13? I was… Crap!"

Sam knew what he was thinking and squeezed him gently.

"It was intended as a nice little story: something I could never have told you before you asked me to marry you, Jack; something secret from my past. It wasn't intended to make you anxious."

"It's a great story, but a little freaky, don't you think?" he replied, catching his breath as he struggled to recover from the shock the tale provoked.

"I thought exactly that when I joined the SGC and was assigned to your team, and I still do."

"You remembered me?"

"Jack O'Neill with two lls? Yeahsureyabetchya, Jack, I never forgot you. Betsy thinks that maybe it was kismet after all, although she didn't think so at the time."

"She was the brunette?" he gulped and Sam nodded, "This just gets curiouser and curiouser. Any time now I'm gonna find myself following a white rabbit down a hole. Let's hope I find some cake too, and maybe a bottle with Jack Daniels inside. I'll have a large one!"

Sam laughed in appreciation of his joke but realised that Jack was genuinely a little spooked and his jocularity was intended as cover for some complex emotions and thoughts.

"I didn't mean to freak you out. I would have told you but… I could never have told you before in case you thought… Jack, what do you think?"

"For crying out loud, I don't know! It's confused the hell out of me, as usual."

"Don't pretend to be a simple man because I know better, remember?"

"You were only 13? Crap! I was close to 30. Captain Jack O'Neill. It was a lifetime ago. Almost like a separate lifetime."

"You were so handsome I thought my heart would burst. It's that knock 'em dead smile and those twinkling eyes. Does it for me every time. Betsy thought you were too old for me but I never did. I knew I'd grow up one day and that wouldn't matter, and I'd make you mine."

"I guess you did just that, Sam."

"I know it's crazy, and kind of embarrassing now I come to think about it. I never really imagined this would happen when I walked into that briefing room that day. Really I didn't. But then as our feelings for each other grew I began to wonder about it. Does it bother you?"

"It's a great story."

"That's not an answer."

"It bothers me that you were only 13 years old. It confirms how nuts this whole thing is. I'm way too old for you Sam."

"I so nearly didn't tell you about it in case you thought so."

Jack eyed her speculatively and a crooked smile appeared on his face.

"The coincidence of the whole thing is way more than kind of weird but if the age issue doesn't bother you then I'm not gonna let it bother me either. I've tried so hard to forget my hang ups about that because I love you and can't envisage a life without you anymore. I don't even want to contemplate what that would be like." He brushed his hand across her cheek. "It's way too late to back away now. We're engaged."

Kissing her tenderly, his eyes met and held her gaze and he chuckled. Sam raised her eyebrows in query.

"So you've been in love with me since you were 13?" he teased.

"I wouldn't put it quite like that."

"How would you put it? Hot for me? Crazy about me?"

"Jack O'Neill, I do believe that this is going to your head," she responded, slapping him playfully.

"You betchya!" he exclaimed with a huge grin, "Exactly what were you thinking that day you walked into the briefing room?"

"Oh, as I walked in I was really nervous. I so wanted to make a success of that posting and to impress. Not because of how I had felt when I was a teenager, although I can't say it didn't cross my mind a number of times, but because you were a Colonel in the US Air Force and, from everything I'd heard about you and your record, I respected the hell out of you. As I walked through the door I took a deep breath and thought something like 'Holy Hannah, Jack O'Neill with two lls! Don't screw this up Samantha Carter!' and then plastered a bright, confident look on my face and walked in."

"Oh?" Jack said with a laugh, squeezing her hand gently, "And what did you think when you saw me?"

"Um, 'Holy Hannah, Jack O'Neill with two lls and he's as hot as ever!' Or something like that anyway," she smirked.

"I've aged a lot since then," he commented.

"And you're still as hot as ever, Jack O'Neill with two lls."

She squirmed out of his arms and straddled him, pulling him towards her for a passionate kiss and clinch and then fondling his chest and back under his t-shirt.

"Whatchya doin'?" he asked with a squeak.

"Seducing you."

"Here?" he muttered breathlessly.

"Yep, right here."

"We'll never get this stuff unpack…"

She stopped his words with her mouth and Jack participated wholeheartedly, barely able to contain his suddenly lustful desires.

"Screw the unpacking!" Sam exclaimed.

"I'd rather screw you," Jack declared, raising no further objections to her suggestion of a sexual union right there on his dusty, box littered floor. What a way to christen the place! "Is this the fade-out to black part of the movie?" he joked with a leer.

"Yeahsureyabetchya!" Sam exclaimed with a licentious smile. "Stay there!" she added demandingly, and got up.

Earlier, she had spotted a cushion at the top of one of the unpacked boxes and she got that now, also picking up the blanket that lay beneath it in the same box. Returning to Jack, she wordlessly placed the pillow under his head, and the blanket by their side, just in case it got a little chilly after she stripped them both.

Then she straddled him again, making him a very happy man with kisses and caresses and by taking control of a slow seduction, which she paused only to remove their clothing. Afterwards, she sunk down next to him and Jack reached for the blanket, pulling it over them to supplement the body heat that kept them cosy and warm and then pulled her into his arms again, kissing her neck and shoulder.

"Wow!" he exclaimed, a simplistic reaction to such a complex and amazing thing. "You did good, Sam, real good," he added.

"It was pretty damned good," she agreed with a barely heard murmur, burying her face into his neck.

They stayed like that, silently, for a considerable time, enjoying the feel of simply holding each other. Sam was the first to rouse by gently squeezing him and kissing his bare chest.

"Hate to spoil the moment, Jack, but I think we should get up. This floor isn't exactly comfortable."

"In a minute. I just want to hold my fiancée for a while. Fiancée. Hear that? Is that kinda weird or what?"

"Yes, it's kinda weird. Nice though. Wonderful actually."

"Very wonderful," he agreed, kissing the top of her head.

"We're never gonna get this unpacking done, Mr Scarecrow."

"Jeez, Dorothy, you always were far too practical. I don't really care about the unpacking. I'd way rather be cuddling you."

"Yes you do care, lazybones. Get that wonderful butt of yours off the floor and let's get dressed."

"Wonderful butt?" he grinned.

"Mmmm… you have a great ass, Jack O'Neill. I always vowed I'd marry a guy with a great ass, and now I will."

"Great Ass? Really?"

As if to confirm it she squeezed a butt cheek and in her hand and then gave it a pinch between her thumb and forefinger.

"Hey! Two can play at that kind of game!"

Jack started to tickle her in those ticklish places he had taken great pains to discover during their months together and Sam tried to fight him off but ended up giggling helplessly.

"Jack! Please, Jack! This floor so isn't the place," she begged.

"Then let's decamp to the bedroom."

"Are you serious?"

"Absolutely. C'mon," he said, demonstrating his intent by getting up, pulling her after him and leading her to the bedroom. Grasping her ass, he tugged her towards him.

"Oh my, you're getting horny again, aren't you?" she said.

"Might be."

"That didn't take long."

"For a man of my advanced years I have miraculous powers of recovery," he chuckled. "Cmon, and don't even mention unpacking. We'll get to it, eventually, but right now I'm thinkin' that it's time for this movie to fade-out to black again."

Sam chuckled, indicating acquiescence, and he gently urged her onto the bed, kneeling next to her and softly outlining her nipple with a fingertip and they made love again, ending up clasped tightly in each other's arms, blissfully happy and satisfied.

Later, as they showered together, although they embraced under the running water, touching, kissing, caressing and washing each other, neither of them were up to yet more sex. Each wrapped the other in a large fluffy towel and simply hugged and then got dressed, exchanging brief smiles and meaningful looks.

"To keep you happy," Jack said, "we'll unpack a few more boxes and then get changed and go out for dinner to celebrate. How about it?"

Sam readily agreed and when she eventually changed he noted with satisfaction that she wore her red suit and shoes, smiling at the memories that clothing provoked. Tempted though he was to forget the meal and take her into his arms for yet another seduction, his rumbling stomach made him dismiss such thoughts.

'Maybe later,' he thought.

They found a cosy, intimate restaurant in the Old Town of Alexandria and, when the proprietor discovered that they'd got engaged that very day, she gave them the wine on the house in celebration and put some romantic mood music on the CD player, looking on at the couple contentedly. It was clear that they were so very much in love and that made her shiver with delight; she loved a bit of romance.

"Toast to us," Jack said, raising a glass of wine, and they clinked glasses.

"To us," Sam agreed with a huge smile.

Jack and Sam ate heartily and well, not talking much over dinner, but frequently meeting each other's eyes and smiling, touching fingertips or briefly squeezing hands. They were sated, tired and happy.

When they returned home, they decided to go to bed almost immediately and Jack made his way to the bathroom. Quietly following, Sam stood in the doorway watching as Jack finished unpacking a forgotten box of toiletries, carefully placing everything in similar positions to those they had held in his house in Colorado.

Watching Jack busy himself made her smile and, with a slight feeling of disbelief, she was reminded that Jack had proposed and she had accepted. She would become Mrs O'Neill; it was like a dream. She just hoped she didn't wake up anytime soon.

Unusually, Jack hadn't realised she was watching. Normally he would have sensed her presence and looked around, but she figured that maybe he was as shell-shocked by the events of the day as she was. Sam arched her eyebrows in surprise when she saw Jack pick up her toothbrush and look at it goofily for a while before tenderly replacing it where it belonged. He would never have done that if he'd known he was being scrutinised and her heart leapt at his actions, so loving and sappy.

"The real thing is right here Jack," she said, making him jump. He turned towards her with a smile and some color rose in his cheeks.

"Caught me out, huh?"

She said nothing but simply smiled and walked towards him, placing one hand around his waist and softly stroking his cheek, and then hair, with the other. They stared into each other's eyes for a while, mesmerised, and Jack rested his forehead against hers and rubbed her back.

"Seen sense and changed your mind about becoming Mrs O'Neill yet?" he asked with a shaky and emotional whisper, as if the full import of what had happened had hit him at last.

"I'm never going to change my mind. Changed your mind about asking?"

"Never."

"Looks like my toothbrush is going to stay there one heck of a long time, then."

"Like forever?"

"Yes, like forever," she agreed.

Jack grasped her face in his hands and locked eyes with her.

"Sam, if this has all gone too fast for you…"

"No! Jack, we're engaged."

"That's what I mean Sam, if it's too…"

"No, it isn't. I'm committed to you. I have been for a long time. You're never getting rid of me!" she grinned.

"That's good because I never want to."

"I'm so tired," she said with a yawn.

"Wanna turn in?"

She nodded wearily and they walked to the bedroom, Jack's arms grasping her waist.

'She is looking pretty damned hot, but no more sex today,' he thought regretfully, overcome by exhaustion.

They slipped between the sheets and Jack spooned against Sam's back, arms enfolding her, and she clutched his arm affectionately as he kissed her hair.

"Goodnight sweetheart, sweet dreams" he said.

"Goodnight my love, you too," she replied, and they fell asleep almost instantly.

And, after that momentous and memorable day, their dreams were indeed very sweet ones.


	20. Never Alone: A Chain of Reactions

Title: Never Alone: A Chain of Reactions

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst/Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Use of minor language and sexual situations

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9 and beyond

Spoilers: General for S9

Summary: How do Jack and Sam's friends react to news of their engagement?

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone Part 19: Fade Out To Black

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2006 Su Freund

Author's Note: Written in response to Fic Challenge 25 on the As the Stargate Turns Yahoo Group (issued on 28 January) to include the phrase 'All Nations Under The Sun' and/or word 'multi-faceted' in a drabble or story. As with all my challenge entries, this fic has not been beta read, so I hope I have left it relatively error free.

**Never Alone: A Chain of Reactions**

Cassie stretched, yawned and blearily looked at the contents of her inbox, immediately spotting a new mail from the man who, by all rights, should be her adopted father – Jack O'Neill. That perked her up a little and she squeeed softly to herself so as not to wake Chris.

'Uncle Jack?' she thought, surprised because he rarely mailed her. She had always believed he had an aversion to computers but here he was. The mail's subject was not illuminating, simply reading Hiya Cassie! Smiling eagerly, she opened it and started to read.

"Before Sam gets her claws into you - I wanted to get in first, and for you to be the first to know – Sam and I will be getting married. We got engaged yesterday."

"Oh my god!" Cassie screeched, "Oh my god! Chris, wake up."

She got up and ran over to the bed but Chris had awoken at her first loud exclamation.

"Do I have a choice?" he asked indulgently, still slightly groggy from having just awoken.

"Sorry, sorry but I'm so excited!" she was practically leaping up and down on the spot in her excitement and Chris sat up, taking her hand and forcing her down onto the bed next to him.

"Calm down, Cass, before you have apoplexy. Tell a now very awake Chris what's going on, huh?"

"It's Uncle Jack! It's Jack and Sam! They're getting married!"

"So the old dog did the deed, huh?" Chris said with a broad smile.

"Looks like it."

"That's great, Cass. Now you need to give me a kiss to celebrate."

"I can do that."

She leaned into him and his lips enclosed hers but her heart wasn't in it and, within seconds, she was scrambling out of his arms.

"I have to read the rest of his mail!" she said, leaping up from the bed, "maybe they've set a date. Maybe I'll be a bridesmaid."

Chris grinned, loving Cassie's happy enthusiasm as much as he loved the rest of her. Lying back on the bed, propped up by pillows, he watched as she sat down in front of the computer again, always happy to simply watch her wherever she was and whatever she was doing. He knew how much she wanted her two friends to be together and her happiness was contagious. Besides, he liked Jack and knew he would be the happiest guy in the world right now. Chris felt he could relate to that because, as this relationship with Cassie developed, he was learning a thing or two about love and what a truly wonderful thing it really was.

Cassie read on.

"I guess I finally went and did it! You were right about Sam loving the ring. She seems happy. I hope so. I can see that huge grin on your face all the way up here in Virginia!"

"He knows I'll be grinning!" she said aloud and Chris laughed.

"Go figure!" he said, continuing to watch the woman he adored with all his heart.

It had been a shock for Chris to realise that he was in love with Cassandra Frasier; so entirely out of the blue and unexpected. He had set himself the task of winning the heart and body of Buttercup Andrews, a stunningly beautiful young woman who he thought had some mutual feelings for him. It wasn't her fault that her parents had the poor taste to call her Buttercup.

Stunning she might have been but she had the brains of a gnat. Chris wasn't interested in love, friendship or brains, but believed he wanted lots of sex and something uncomplicated. Buttercup certainly would have fit that bill.

Cassandra Frasier, on the other hand, was as sharp as a tack and made Buttercup look even more stupid than she really was. Cassie was attractive, but not stunning, and was the most interesting and intelligent woman of his own generation that Chris had ever met.

Initially he had determined that they would be great friends, steadfastly trying to remain uninterested in Cassie's other qualities, but then he talked with Cassie and Buttercup together a few times and couldn't help comparing them. His conclusion was that looks weren't everything but a good brain was pretty damned important. Sex with a stunner like Buttercup wasn't the be all and end all either.

Before he knew it, Chris found himself falling and it was too late to do anything about it. He tried to resist, knowing that a relationship with Cassandra Frasier was going to be way more complicated then anything he wanted right at that moment. Buttercup was still a temptation and she practically threw herself at him, but he found himself shying away and losing interest.

Chris was a guy who probably could have got almost any woman he wanted. He had looks, a boyish charm, a sense of humor and a lot of brains, but wasn't geeky with it. All his relationships to date, and there had been many, had been superficial and based almost wholly on sexual attraction and, frankly, on easy removal of the girls pants so he could have sex with her. Sex was something that Chris had had in plentiful supply since he was 15. Love? Never.

Therefore, he couldn't quite believe it when he turned down the opportunity to bed the beautiful Buttercup and he wasn't even sure why he'd done it. The realisation had dawned on him very slowly but, once it had hit him, there was no escape. All that time, he had been falling for Cassie.

Chris had tried to examine the tardiness with which this shocker approached. The truth had stunned him with its ferocity while Cassie was away for Thanksgiving and he realised he couldn't get her out of his mind, whereas he hadn't believed he'd been giving her a second thought. She wasn't even his type, who had mainly been fluffy, brainless beauties who would roll over for him and open their legs when requested.

Not a beauty within his normal frame of reference, perhaps, but he had fallen for her brains. Later came the almost total adoration of every single inch of her. Chris realised he'd been a shallow, selfish prig and it surprised him that he didn't like that person anymore. There was way more to life and he realised that Cassie could give that to him. Right now, he was happier than he had ever been and suffered from a pervasive contentment that he liked one hell of a lot.

As he watched, Cassie continued to read.

"Can't sleep, go figure. Must be all that unpacking the two of us have been doing in the new house ;-) You and Chris must visit. Much better than my apartment. Lots of space, a yard, trees, plants, open air."

"He'd like us to go see his new house sometime," she said aloud.

"I'd like that too. I really want to meet Sam."

"You will."

Chris got up, quietly approaching Cassie from behind and slipping his arms around her and she tipped her head back to meet his, so he kissed her as invited. It occurred to him that he'd never felt the want or need to meet any of his previous girlfriend's folks. Jack and Sam were Cassie's folks, or what passed for them, and his desire to get to know them only served to confirm his genuine feelings for the woman he currently held in his arms.

These days, he was often at a loss to understand the boy he had once been: only interested in one thing and who gave a damn about her conversation, or her background. He wanted to know every little thing there was to know about this beautiful woman, and all of her friends. And Chris did believe Cassie to be truly beautiful. Perhaps not in the Buttercup sense but in his eyes, both her inner and outer beauty grew on a daily basis and left him breathless.

Briefly he wondered if that was what had happened with Jack and Sam and thought that something like that was probably exactly what had happened. Over the years, their feelings had grown and deepened, which had made them increasingly more attractive to each other. He guessed that was probably the way things ought to be with a soul mate, which is what he now thought Cassie to be, just as she believed Sam and Jack to be. She had told him so many times.

"Hey, Mr Man," Cassie said with a smile.

"Hey, beautiful."

"Do you really think I'm beautiful?" she asked.

"The most beautiful woman on Earth."

"That's nice. You're pretty hot yourself."

"Just as well you think so."

"Mmmm…"

She relaxed against his chest, sighing contentedly and Chris started to caress her breasts under her robe.

"Wanna come back to bed?" he asked suggestively.

"Yeahsureyabetchya," she replied, "once I've finished Jack's mail."

"You mean to say you find me resistible?" he joked.

"Not often, but I do right now."

"Have to read Uncle Jack's mail, huh?"

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Would I?"

"Actually, yes."

Chris grinned and looked at the computer screen.

"Jack O'Neill Handbook? What the hell is that?" he asked.

"You shouldn't be reading other people's mail," Cassie replied, slapping him playfully.

"Want me to wait for you in bed?" he smirked.

"No, Chris, stay here. Keep holding me." Cassie turned her head to kiss his bare arm.

"Mmmm… may I?"

"I demand it."

"Then I have no choice, right?"

"None whatsoever."

"I seem to have given up free will since I met you," he joked.

"You betchya. I'm in charge now."

"And I'm loving every minute of it."

"Me too," she agreed, lifting her head to kiss his chin and then leaning into his chest again and grasping one of his arms to give it a squeeze. "You can read it if you like." She was guessing that Jack wasn't giving away any state secrets in an email to her.

"Remember the Jack O'Neill Handbook?" the mail said.

Cassie smiled, as not only did it remind her of Jack but also of their conversation about Chris at Thanksgiving.

"I promised to let you have a copy but it isn't fully formed yet," the mail continued, "My meagre brain just won't spit it out. But here's what I've written down so far. Number 1 is the most important, hence it being number 1, but as for the order of the rest, search me. I'm not sure it much matters.

"Nor am I sure that any of these will be of any use to you. They're just some things that an old soldier has picked up along the way and not exactly intended as life lessons for undergraduates at UCLA! But here goes nothing. I told you I couldn't sleep, right? Too much excitement in one day for an old guy like me. Promise you'll find me a nice retirement home or get me put down painlessly."

Cassie laughed and glanced up to see Chris smiling.

"Jack's so funny," she commented.

"He's quite a guy, Cassie."

"I'm so pleased you two got along okay."

"The minute I told him I could play poker I knew I was in with a shot," he joked, "So, this Handbook thing?"

"It's a bit of a private joke."

"Care to share?"

"Life according to Jack O'Neill."

"Hero and arch cynic," Chris inserted humorously.

"I'll suggest that to him as a subtitle," she giggled, turning back to her PC and the words appearing beneath the title: Jack O'Neill Handbook.

Never leave anyone behind (unofficial rule - Jack O'Neill is always right but I have to confess (although don't tell Sam) that I'm not, so you can ignore that one. I do! Except when I am right, of course, which is pretty often.)

Shit happens so be prepared for anything, including taking the big risks. No pain, no gain (a cliché, I know, but generally true, although note Rule 3!)

Watch out if there's a cliché about! (way more important than the previous Rule 3, which has slipped down to 4)

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake

Never rely on plan A. Plan A rarely works (I think it might be something to do with chaos theory, or maybe it's just Murphy's Law). So have a freakin' plan B or C and, if humanly possible, a Plan D, waiting up your sleeve.

If all else fails, improvise.

Always confuse the enemy (that's the easy part. Capitalizing on it is way harder)

First impressions are often right, so use your gut instinct.

Playing dumb is only one of the weapons you have at your disposal. Sometimes you just have to play it smart. Choose wisely.

You don't need to know how to do everything yourself (your brain would get way too crowded and… oy…! You don't want to know, believe me), just know the people who do.

Never give up the moral high ground; you might fall on your butt.

If it smells bad, shoot it. Don't wait around for it to stink up the place (don't try this one at home, Cassie!)"

Cassie tittered gleefully as she cast her eyes over them and Chris shivered at the feelings her happy and amused mood provoked in him.

"I think 12 rules is quite enough to be going on with for now," Jack's mail continued, "so I'll leave you to ponder them and sneak back into the arms of my bride to be!

"Say hi to Chris. He's a good man, Cass, and I figure he might not always have been (he's still young so it happens. Take it from someone who knows because I've been there and have the t-shirt, book and scars to prove it) but that you have made him a better man than he was. You seem so good together and I like that I don't have to worry about you being with him in that fatherly way that I might if it was someone else. You know how suspicious I can be of everyone and everything. It's in my nature, but I think you've done good with him.

"I just hope I'm right because I'll kick my own ass (and his) if I'm wrong. I guess that suspicious thing should be one of the rules but I don't want to make them become an unlucky 13. Hah! Here I go cracking myself up at my warped sense of humor again. I think that's my cue to sign off."

Chris chuckled at these last comments.

"He's right, you have made me a better man," he said.

"Uncle Jack always was way more astute than he liked to pretend."

"I guess I should feel flattered that he likes me."

"Yes you should. He isn't always so accepting of people."

"So it seems."

"He can be overly protective sometimes, particularly of the people he loves. That's in his nature too. My ex-boyfriends… You really don't want to know!" she said with a huge grin.

"Probably not."

"It's is a wonderful thing to be loved and cherished by him, Chris. We haven't always seen eye to eye, those boyfriends you know, but I love him to bits."

"I know. I'm jealous!" Chris quipped. "You gave up being in bed with me to read his mail for Christ's sake!" Cassie giggled in response.

"I'd do one whole heck of a lot more than that for General Jack O'Neill. He's the best."

"That gives me way too much to live up to Cass."

"No, because no one could live up to that, so I don't expect it!"

Chris rolled his eyes and kissed her.

"Right. So are you finished with the mail and happy now? Can I drag you into bed, and the clutches of your tame sex maniac?"

"Once I've replied. Do you mind?"

Chris shook his head and squeezed her gently, recalling the first time they'd had sex. It had been a big occasion. Cassie was a tough nut to crack and he found that he didn't mind when she didn't fall into his arms and drop her pants as soon as he tried. She had been so worth the effort and he figured that maybe all the really good things took effort and were worth the wait.

Initially, Cassie had resisted his sexual advances, firmly and tactfully. She had wanted to be sure of him and he respected that, when he might not have before. Any other woman and he might have given up trying and dumped her. Then, one day she had decided that the time was right, told him she wanted him to make love to her and damned near seduced him on the spot. As that happened right in the middle of the street, it raised a few eyebrows, including his.

So they had rushed back to his apartment and had a long, athletic, crazy and totally blissful sex session, making love as many times as their stamina and bodies would allow. That had been shortly before Christmas.

Chris realised that he would have waited for a long time to bed this woman, and would still be waiting if that were what she wanted. He was, however, pleased that she had wanted him too and had never felt more flattered by a woman's attentions in his life.

That was a little disturbing sometimes, but mostly he didn't think about or analyse it too much and just enjoyed it, and Cassie's company. He considered himself to be a very lucky man indeed to have found his way into her heart. Simply put, she was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he was grateful. What he felt for her could be overwhelming and downright scary but made him feel great.

Cassie knew all about his past. Although worried that she might decide she didn't trust him anymore and be put off, Chris had been unable to stop himself being honest with her. This was another surprise. He'd never had problems lying to a woman before, but he wouldn't lie to her. She was too important to risk losing.

Much to his relief she had accepted it: accepted that, with her, he was different and not merely interested in sex and casual uncomplicatedness. He loved her all the more for that; loved her more with each passing day.

Chris watched fascinated as she drafted her response and then asked him to read it over before she sent it. It read:

"Congratulations Uncle Jack! I thought you'd never ask! I'm so happy for you, and me. I've dreamed of this moment for a long time. :-) Bet you're happy too right know, and I know that Sam will be. She was so hoping you'd ask and was never going to say no.

"It is the right thing to do, I promise. You are going to be so happy together. It's where you both belong and what you both deserve. Trust me on this. I can't wait to speak to you both, so will call later – or you call me and save me the money!

"I want to be a bridesmaid, btw, but tell Sam to make my dress sexy rather than pretty – yuck!

"Cool rule book. One can never have too many life lessons, even from an old soldier like you ;-) I will treasure it always, and follow the Jack O'Neill code as much as possible. Do I have to take an oath or something? Send more as and when they occur to you. I'll happily put them into my own priority order, and adapt them for use accordingly.

"Love you and Sam lots and lots. Kiss her for me, and give her a big cuddle. I doubt that will be too much trouble:-D Chris sends his congratulations too. We're both thrilled!

"Huge honking hugs, Cassie

"PS I'm sooo excited!"

Chris laughed and said it was perfect, so she sent it and then got up and kissed him. Grabbing his ass, she pulled him close.

"Mmmm… why bother going back to bed?" she said.

"You want to do it here?"

"Right here on this chair. Why not?"

Chris waggled his eyebrows appreciatively.

"Why not indeed?"

"Then sit down, Mr Man, and lets get to it!"

Chris grinned happily thinking that he had definitely chosen the right woman to be his lifelong mate and hoping that she wanted him to be hers too. One day he'd tell her how he truly felt, and ask her to spend the rest of her life with him, but he didn't want to do either yet just in case it scared her off.

Then, right at that moment, he stopped thinking altogether and let his body take over. It was going to be quite some ride!

"Teal'c, old buddy!" Daniel exclaimed eagerly, virtually running towards his teammate. He had a broad grin on his face and was obviously keyed up about something. "I just got a text message from Sam. You are never gonna believe this, but Jack and Sam got engaged!"

"And why should I not believe it, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c replied with a smile.

"Ack! Just a figure of speech, Teal'c. So what do you think?" he asked excitedly.

"I do believe that it is a cause for great celebration," Teal'c responded with an even tone and deadpan face.

"Well, whatever you do, don't get too enthusiastic." Daniel said sarcastically, disappointed by Teal'c's low key reaction to news that had him leaping around like an over excited schoolboy. "You know, sometimes having a Jaffa as one of your best friends isn't all it's cracked up to be."

Teal'c smirked and bowed slightly, amused by Daniel's reaction and understanding entirely why he was both enthusiastic and disappointed.

"Indeed," he said.

Daniel furrowed his eyebrows and looked at his friend thoughtfully, stroking his chin with his right hand.

"You knew already, didn't you?" he queried.

"O'Neill telephoned."

"He called you but he didn't call me?" Daniel said dejectedly, his disappointment growing.

"I am certain that O'Neill would have wished to have told you himself."

"But he didn't."

"Perhaps he was unable to contact you. Or perhaps Colonel Carter wished to do so."

"But she sent me a text message! She could have called," Daniel pouted

"Perhaps she tried. I am confident that no insult was intended, Daniel Jackson."

"I'll call Jack."

"I believe that O'Neill and Colonel Carter would prefer not to be interrupted. It is a time of celebration for them, is it not?"

The smirk on Teal'c's face surprised Daniel, although his responding grin was followed by a frown. He was frustrated about not to be able to talk to either of his friends first hand, but tried to put himself in Jack or Sam's position and realised that Teal'c was right: this was a time when they probably wanted to be alone in the most intimate ways possible to a couple. In the fullness of time they would wish to celebrate with friends.

Daniel figured that for now it was probably enough to know that his hopes and dreams for the pair were coming to fruition at last. He guessed that he and Teal'c were lucky to be amongst the first to be told the good news, particularly given how secretive Jack could be about his personal life. Resigning himself to sending a text massage in response to Sam's, copied to Jack, in which he sent hearty congratulations and a hint that they call when they were free, he sighed and thumped his Jaffa friend on the back.

"It's a pity they're all the way up there in Virginia and not here in the Springs but maybe we ought to celebrate for ourselves, huh, Teal'c?"

"If you wish, Daniel Jackson. What did you have in mind? How do the Tauri celebrate such things?"

"What do Jaffa do?" Daniel countered, curiously.

A wistful smile lit Teal'c's face as he thought about it before responding.

"We fight."

"Fight?"

"Indeed."

"You mean you blast each other with staff weapons?"

Teal'c eyed his friend with a sardonic glare, shaking his head.

"We do not fight in order to kill each other, Daniel Jackson, but to rejoice in good tidings. There would be little point in that if we harmed each other. The closest Tauri custom I can relate it to is wrestling, or perhaps jousting."

Daniel screwed up his eyes in disgust.

"Doesn't sound like much of a celebration to me. Generally speaking we Tauri have a party and drink copious amounts of alcohol."

"That is a celebration of betrothal? How curious."

"Each to their own Teal'c."

"Indeed," he agreed, thinking about it and adding, "You wish to party, Daniel Jackson? As you are aware, I do not partake in alcohol and, as I recall, you are severely limited in your intake."

Daniel looked chagrined by that comment and then laughed. Teal'c was right. He couldn't take his booze. Rolling his eyes in dismay, he wondered how best to celebrate the news with his Jaffa friend.

"Maybe we should get some of the guys together and…" he started, only to be interrupted.

"O'Neill gave instructions not to inform others."

"He did? Wants to tell folks himself, I guess." Once again he felt some disappointment, but at the same time understood Jack's reticence. Reticence was his friend's middle name. "So much for that idea. I guess Jack will celebrate with his friends when he's good and ready and not before. So what else did he say, Teal'c?"

"Very little. It was O'Neill."

Daniel smiled at the perceptive comment. How true, it was so like Jack to say very little. Once again he considered himself lucky to have been told about it at all, imagining the brief conversation that his old CO and the silent Jaffa warrior might have had on the subject. It had probably consisted of about three sentences.

It occurred to Daniel that maybe Jack had deliberately avoided being the person to tell him the good news. His friend knew that he would prod and probe, trying to elicit as much detail as possible, and that was probably the last thing he wanted. No wonder he had chosen to call Teal'c, who he knew would accept the situation with stoic calmness and very few words to convey his pleasure.

Both of the men could be frustrating friends to have in their own different, and similar, ways. They were dogged, devoted and loyal and would do anything to help a friend, never letting you down, but they could be tiresomely silent and secretive. He pondered whether Sam, too, had deliberately chosen to text him rather than speak to him, for similar reasons. Was his inquisitiveness so bad? The answer to that was probably that it could be infuriating to all of his friends at times. No doubt this occasion was one of those times.

"You are dissatisfied, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c queried, a quirk in his features and an arm squeeze denoting some sympathy for Daniel's position.

"A little, but I'll get over it," Daniel responded with a smile. "So as I'm not gonna be fighting and you're not gonna be drinking, how else can we celebrate the good news?"

"I am certain that you will think of something Daniel Jackson."

"Yep," the archaeologist replied, his grin broadening as he considered, "I'm sure I will."

Betsy Sheridan's face was one huge smug grin. As she lay in her husband's arms after their own unique kind of celebration, she considered her friend Sam's announcement and wondered how long it would be before the couple would get around to tying the knot now that they'd made the decision to do so. She hoped that General Jack O'Neill would make her friend very happy and, if he didn't, she'd have a thing or two to say that would not be fitting for someone of his rank.

Sam would probably be deliriously happy right now. Betsy knew how much her friend had dreamed of and longed for this moment to come. She figured Sam wasn't quite so worried about the wedding part at the moment, but was simply basking in the fact that he wanted them to spend the rest of their lives together and had asked - finally.

Betsy, herself, however, was thinking about the wedding and dreaming up various scenarios for how that nuptial might go. Would Sam want the full military thing, she wondered? She imagined Sam in a beautiful white dress, walking down the aisle with the deliciously handsome Jack O'Neill waiting for her with a huge smile on his face and wearing full dress uniform. That was quite some picture. They would look so wonderful! Betsy was quite excited by the prospect.

Then she got to pondering children and whether Sam and Jack would want them and if so how many and whether she might become their unofficial Auntie Betsy. She liked that idea very much. If Sam and Jack stayed in the area, she could envisage the kid's parties, the barbeques in the yard with their respective families, the shopping trips for all the kiddie essentials and luxuries. It set her mind on a whole new trail of fantasy.

Her mind came to Earth with a bump when she recalled that Sam was assigned to Colorado Springs and she wondered what the couple would do about that. Sure, military folk got used to long distance relationships, they had to, but she rather hoped Sam might decide to try for a posting in DC. It would be so good to have her friend living close again after all these years.

Jack O'Neill would probably appreciate that but, from everything Sam had said about him, she suspected that he would never ask it of her. He would respect her career, and that she make her own choices, and would sacrifice a lot to that end. Betsy admired that about him, along with some other fine attributes that Sam had both hinted at, and that she had seen for herself in their brief meeting at the Pentagon.

The man was one heck of a dish and possessed a kind of lopsided charm to go with those good looks. She thought about the email that Sam had sent to tell her the news.

"He asked! We got engaged yesterday. I'm still in a fog about it, but it's done. Of course I said yes – go figure! I wanted you to be one of the first to know, but don't go spreading it around yet as Jack is such a private person and I respect that. It's up to him to tell whomever he wants to at the Pentagon. So hush that big mouth of yours, Betsy!

"The proposal was so sweet. We were unpacking boxes at his new house and the words "marry me?" just kind of slipped out as if he was almost totally unaware of them. I could have hugged him. In fact I did hug him, and a whole lot more, but I won't go into that. :-) Once he asked, he was so nervous, poor guy. I think he wasn't sure I'd say yes. I guess that is a burden men share in that situation. Of course I said yes, does he think I'm crazy? I'd have to be to turn him down.

"He's just so cute when he'd feeling vulnerable; quite the cutest and more sexy than ever. I never thought THAT would be possible! I love him to bits, Betsy, and am so very happy. Some day I'll be Mrs O'Neill and that is quite some thrill to anticipate. I never realised how much I truly, deeply wanted it until he asked.

He's calling me back to bed, so I must go and satisfy the man's seemingly never ending needs! rolls eyes Can't say I'm complaining. No siree, far from it. I'll call soon and tell you all about it. Not those parts of course, but I'm betting you won't be able to wipe this big smile off my face for some time to come.

"Btw, you'll be pleased to hear that I told him all about my teenage crush. I think it disturbed him at first but now he seems to be flattered by it and the whole thing has gone to his head. I'll probably never live it down."

As she read the mail, Betsy had become increasingly delighted by the news, excitedly telling her husband immediately and then settling down to her response.

"At last! Congratulations!" she wrote, "I'm so happy and thrilled for you Sam. So teen dreams do come true after all. That's kind of nice. I can't wait to find out more detail. Did he give you a ring? If so what's it like? If we don't see each other, take a photo and send it:-) What about the wedding? Any idea when you'll tie the knot? What kind of wedding do you want? I'll help you plan it if you like. Oh dear, I'm getting a bit over excited here and guess I have too many questions and so many ideas that it's probably best if I wait for you to call. Send the darling man my congratulations and tell him I think it's about time! All those years… at least they didn't go to waste! ;-)"

After that, Betsy persuaded her husband back into bed and that's when they had their own happy celebrations.

"So what kind of wedding do you want, Sam?" Jack asked, kissing Sam's neck as he read Betsy's mail at his fiancée's invitation.

"I don't know."

"You must have thought about it. Dammit, you were planning your wedding to Pete for months."

"Don't remind me."

"I just mean you must have had something in mind."

"That was him, Jack, and this is you. It's different."

"Is that good?" he asked with a happy smile.

Not even thoughts of her previous fiancée could spoil this moment. Sam had said yes! He was still befuddled and awestruck by the events of the previous day, as well as being deliriously happy. Jack kept telling himself to get a grip, but he couldn't. Cloud 9 just didn't cut it and he figured he must be on cloud 109!

At over 50 years of age you don't anticipate that you could still feel like a giddy teenager, but he did, and had done for months now, ever since he'd started seeing Sam romantically. Their engagement was the icing on the cake and served to make him even giddier.

Jack had wondered if he really cared whether they actually got married or not. In some ways it was enough for him to know that she wanted to marry him. All he wanted was spend the rest of his life with her, wedding or not. In the end, however, he realised that the marriage itself was important to him. He wanted them to exchange vows because they meant something to him no matter that other couples might treat them too lightly. It all came down to the Jack O'Neill character: duty, honor and the American way.

"Of course it's good. It's you!" she replied with an equally blissful smile. "All those years, all these months… Jack this is pretty unreal right now. I don't think I've got a practical thought in my head at the moment."

"You, Carter? Now surely that is not possible. Your head is way too cluttered with the practical."

She chuckled, leaning over to kiss him, and Jack willingly obliged by fighting with her tongue in the most glorious manner.

"Not right now, it isn't," she commented as they gasped for air.

"I so hope the future of humanity isn't put at risk as a result of my proposal," he joked. "So, all these years, huh? You mean like all these years since you were 13?" His smile was a quirky, amused smirk.

"I was right when I told Betsy I'd never live that down."

"Absolutely. You know me, Sam. And yet you still said yes!"

"Yep. Perhaps I ought to be making an appointment to see old Doc Mackenzie."

"Sheesh, there's no need to go that far! Although I have to agree that you've got to be nuts to want to marry me."

"Not nuts, Mr Scarecrow, just besotted."

"Besotted? I like the sound of that Dorothy."

"Do you think we've told everyone we need to right now?" she asked, returning the gentle squeeze he'd just given her.

"See, what did I say about being practical?" he responded, rolling his eyes. "Who cares? We've dealt with the folks who would never forgive us if they thought they weren't the first to know. The rest can wait. At the moment, all I care about is spending as much time as possible alone with my brand new beautiful fiancée."

"Sap!"

"Yeahsureyabetchya! When it comes to you, Dorothy, my brain turns to mush."

"It must be catching, Mr Scarecrow."

"Befuddled but happy?"

"Very happy. You know, you don't have to marry me to prove that you love me, Jack. And we don't need to be married to be together."

"That's not what marriage is about, is it Sam? It's to prove to everyone else that we love each other, and about spending the rest of our lives together. I want that. I want all the nations under the sun to know that I love Samantha Carter, and that she loves me back. Lucky me! General Jack O'Neill, the man who captured the heart of the brainiest and most beautiful woman on the planet, and will be fortunate enough to grow old with her by his side."

"Sweet! I'm just sayin'…"

"I hope that doesn't mean you're having second thoughts, Sam. If it does, I'll understand. Really I will."

He didn't really doubt that she wanted what he wanted, but wondered why she had given him the let out clause.

"Second thoughts? No way! I just wondered about you," she replied.

So that was it. She wanted him to be sure it was what he wanted. Jeez!

"You have got to be kidding. Not a chance. Never alone, remember?" he grinned, clutching the pendant she wore around her neck.

"Never alone and always together?"

"Always."

"We're both saps," she said, nuzzling up to him, and pausing to consider what a complex man her future husband could be.

Sam figured life would never get boring with this man. Jack could be so full of surprises, even after all the years she had known him. He was such a multifaceted man that his multi-facets had multi-facets of their own. She loved that about him. In so many ways they were like chalk and cheese, so different, but despite that they seemed to fit.

She knew that life would not be a bed of roses for all time, it didn't work like that, but there was no way in which she could envisage a life without him. There would be dull and annoying moments, she didn't doubt that because it was the nature of life, and relationships. Nothing was perfect. But he was the only man she had ever met with whom silences were normally comfortable, who she could communicate with without words, who she could imagine growing old with and still being content with her choice.

It wasn't the first time that she'd conjured an image of them sitting out on the porch at his cabin, old and grey and no longer so physically or mentally able. The image held no fear for her, no dread or regret. Instead it suffused her with contentment because she knew that, no matter what, they would still be good friends and companions and, when it came down to it, these were the fundamental building blocks of a lasting bond.

Unbeknown to her, Jack's thoughts reflected her own. There was a long way to go before they'd get there but he knew that they would get there. They could make it; despite any doubts and despite everything that life could throw at them. He also knew that they would argue and get bored and that not everything would be perfect for the rest of their lives. The fact was, though, that they would have the rest of their lives together and, overall, they would be content with each other's company. They had built such a solid foundation and it would take much to shake that foundation or bring it tumbling down.

Man, was he looking forward to that!


	21. Never Alone: Visitations

Title: Never Alone: Visitations

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst/Romance, episode tag

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Use of minor language and sexual situations

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9 and beyond

Spoilers: Ripple Effect, plus general for S9

Summary: Jack frets about reports of multiple SG-1s, and receives some interesting visitors

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone Part 20: A Chain of Reactions

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2006 Su Freund

Author's Note:

1. This story is dedicated to Livi after our discussions about Jack's neighbours. I'm sure she'll guess why!

2. It fulfils the requirements of a fic challenge from the As the Stargate Turns Yahoo Group (issued on 4 February) to include the line "Carter, isn't mine the best?" and/or the word 'National-Anthem' in a fic. This includes both and has not been beta read so I hope there aren't too many errors and that you will forgive any that you find.

**Never Alone: Visitations**

The official reports coming out of Cheyenne Mountain about the recent peculiar events had been downright disturbing but that was nothing compared to the impact the unofficial ones had on General Jack O'Neill. The whole notion of alternative realities made Jack's head spin, and one of them at a time was more than a normal human being should be expected to handle. A number of them clashing together simultaneously had brain exploding potential.

For starters there had been multiple Sams. In many ways that didn't bear thinking about and the whole idea gave him a headache. On the other hand, he kind of wished he could have been there as it might have been fun, albeit a little weird. The overall IQ of Planet Earth must have gone up by zillions of points as a result of those multiple appearances.

On top of that were all the Daniels and Teal'cs. Oy! Teal'c might be okay as at least he was a pretty quiet guy but Daniel? Sheesh! Jack couldn't help but wonder what multi-Daniels talking at each other might be like but when he imagined the scenario he was pleased he hadn't been there to drown in the sea of earnest intellectualism. Daniel might be a good friend but he could be way too over the top sometimes. Jack figured that the feeling was probably mutual, albeit that Daniel's reasons would doubtless be totally different to his.

As for Mitchell, Jack didn't think he knew the guy well enough to judge how much multi-versions might bother him although he did believe that too much of any one person might be considered a bad thing and it was an experience he could happily miss.

Then there was Janet. Reports of her appearance provoked entirely different trains of thinking. How he longed to have been there to see her again and that he hadn't been was his one regret about the situation, although he had to confess that it would have been a little strange. It also would have been good to see his old friend smile again, and hear her voice.

Janet Frasier as a member of SG-1? That really was something. It seemed they were having quite a few problems on her version of Earth and, although he wouldn't have wished her reality any harm, he would have liked it if she could have stayed in his reality.

Jack was, however, very happy that they'd been able to help out by giving her the plague cure and figured that it was good to know that she was alive and continuing to harass patients somewhere out there, and probably in more than just one reality.

Reports of her appearance had merely served to remind him how much she was still missed and he figured Sam and the rest must have had very mixed feelings about the whole thing. They'd made a collective decision not to mention the incident to Cassie, rightly because it was top secret, of course, but more importantly for other reasons that were way more personal. He dreaded to think how young Cassie would react to such news. It was better for her if she knew nothing about those events.

The experience of both Janet's appearance and their own must have been somewhat bizarre for all of his friends. Sam had said as much in their phone calls but she hadn't dwelt on events. Jack wished they'd had the chance to talk about it face to face but they hadn't and that was something they had to get used to if they were going to survive this long distance relationship.

But, then there was Martouf. That had been quite a surprise. The notion of the young Tok'ra becoming a member of SG-1 was quite disturbing, all the more so because he'd heard that Marty joined the program so he could be with Sam in his reality, and that they had lived together. That was one heck of a shocker.

Secretly, Jack had believed that he and Sam must eventually get together in all realities, but maybe that was a flight of fancy brought about by his deep feelings for her. Marty and Sam together? Jack didn't like that one little bit because he'd envied those feelings Sam had for the Tok'ra due to Jolinar and harboured a fervent wish that it was Jolinar and not Sam who felt them.

When he'd heard from a source within the SGC about the behaviours of one Samantha Carter and snakey Marty while together during that time at the SGC, Jack had been quite upset and, to some extent, he still was. The whole thing troubled him at a fundamental level. The fact that Sam had failed to mention Martouf when they'd subsequently spoken on the phone was a kick in the teeth and got him to doubting things when he really shouldn't have been.

One might imagine that Jack was confident in Sam's feelings. After all, as they were engaged to be married, surely the relationship was safe and secure. Jack, however, had a fragile ego in some matters regarding Samantha Carter, and he had witnessed Sam's confusion and emotions about Martouf with his own eyes.

Thus the revelations impacted adversely on his psyche because, when it came to Marty, Jack didn't know how Sam felt but suspected that she felt some things he would rather she didn't feel about another man. Simply put, he was both jealous and scared. He didn't like feeling that way about a dead man and was deeply troubled about what his reappearance might have stirred up in Sam.

From everything he'd heard on the grapevine, it seemed they'd been pretty cosy together. Why hadn't Sam mentioned it to him? Jack figured it must be guilt and his imagination was working overtime creating worse case scenarios around situation – as always. He'd told young Cassie's Chris that he had a negative personality and he was a worse care scenario kind of guy and that was so true.

Jack was good at that because it was a requirement of his job, but the problem was that it could spill over into his personal life and demoralize him. So that was where his head was at right then: demoralized and just a little depressed. If only Sam had said something, but the fact that she hadn't made him downright suspicious and he couldn't get it out of his head.

Just how fortuitous or otherwise it was for Francine Butler to arrive on Jack's doorstep when he was at his most vulnerable is anyone's guess. Jack opened the door reluctantly because his caller was persistent, and he was determined to give the person on the other side of the door short shrift. Then he opened it and a beautiful raven haired beauty with a big smile on her face was standing there looking him up and down with a downright hungry expression on her face.

"Hi, I'm Francine Butler," she said in a husky voice, holding out her hand genteelly to shake his, "I live across the street. I always meet and greet the new folks on the street, particularly the single handsome ones, but I've been away so I'm sorry I haven't dropped by until now. You're General Jack O'Neill and you are even more handsome close up than at a distance."

She seemed to purr those words at him like a large predatory cat and Jack was bamboozled by that so, before he knew it, he had taken and shaken her hand and she was inside his house looking around.

"I see you haven't done that much to the place since you moved in. If you need any help or advice I'd be happy to oblige. Interior design is one of my many hobbies and I know a lot of people in the trade."

She carried on in similar vein for a while as she poked around a little, and continuing to glance at Jack in what he thought was a rapacious manner, and he had to confess that he was feeling flattered by her obvious interest. At that moment, his ego needed flattering and Francine couldn't have called at a better time.

"So, aren't you going to offer a neighbour a drink?" she asked eventually.

Jack was more than a little flummoxed by her slightly overbearing manner and clear intentions towards him and only managed to stammer a nervous response.

"Um, I-I… sh-sure. What would you like?"

"Got any bourbon?"

"I think so."

He mixed them both a drink, trying to work out how to deal with the situation without totally alienating one of his close neighbours. He'd only just moved in, for crying out loud, and could do without the hassle. On the other hand, some company might be good, for a while. Jack's own intentions towards his neighbour, however, in no way matched hers and he didn't want to insult her.

Deliberately taking a single chair, as opposed to sitting on the couch next to her, Jack sat back and settled down to enjoy the ride.

"So, why don't you tell me all about yourself," she asked, looking unperturbed by his subtle rebuff.

"Not much to tell. Career military. Air Force."

"Pentagon?"

"Yep."

"The patriotic type, huh?"

"You bet. Stars and stripes, national anthem and hail to the chief through and through," he replied with a cheeky grin, and Francine giggled.

"So, what do you do on those hallowed halls?" she asked.

"Ack! Can't go there. If I told ya I'd have to kill ya!" he quipped and she responded with a throaty laugh that made the remark appear more amusing than it actually was.

"What about before the Pentagon?"

"Same thing," he replied, smiling.

"You aren't an easy man to pump for information, are you?"

"Nope. I'm the quiet type."

"They're the best ones," she responded with a seductive smile.

"What about you?" he asked trying to turn the subject away from him.

Jack very much doubted that would work for long but he had to try. Francine was the type that took a great deal of interest in what men did because men were generally flattered by that sort of thing. She used that to get what she wanted and Jack knew for certain that she wanted him. Fun, perhaps, but he wasn't really interested.

She was the kind of woman who might have made a good one night stand or casual affair, if Jack was into that kind of thing. Sure, he'd had his moments with both, and quite a few of them. Many women found him attractive and they always had so he'd never been short of offers, or been reluctant to take advantage of them, but that was in the past. Now he was engaged to Sam and that was it as far as Jack was concerned.

He hadn't even looked at another woman since they'd started dating. Well, sure, of course he'd looked but he'd been strictly hands off. Commitment was important to Jack and play the field he might have done but, from here on in, it was he and Sam, just as it had been with Sara. The idea that Sam might have had a fling with Martouf was ridiculous and Jack knew that. He didn't doubt that she but was concerned that she might be confused by the Tok'ra's reappearance in her life. Jack believed that Sam was committed too. If she weren't then god help them because this long distance thing would never work without that, and a lot of effort from both sides.

Communication was the key to keeping them together, especially in their circumstances, and Jack did worry sometimes that he wasn't up to that. Sam had failed to communicate to him anything about Martouf and that nagged at him, eating him up from inside out.

He tried to listen to Francine as she told him a little about herself. She was divorced and apparently had lots of different interests, as she had implied earlier. Jack was finding her company entertaining but his mind kept straying back to Sam. He couldn't help himself.

For her part, Francine could tell that she had not grabbed this man's attention, or not in the way that she wanted, but it didn't stop her interest in him. Once she turned her mind to something, Francine Butler wasn't the sort to give up easily, and she had turned her mind to the sexy grey haired man sat before her. The less he said the more interesting he became: a puzzle to be solved, a book to be opened and read, a tempting morsel to be devoured.

Although General Jack O'Neill was obviously reluctant to talk about himself she was pretty sure she could find a way to draw him out, albeit painstakingly. She would pick up something here or there as they talked and would use it to prize out more information, slowly but surely. It wasn't the first time and it probably wouldn't be the last. And if at all possible, before the night was over, she would be taking him into her arms and having sex with him.

From her perspective, that looked like it could be worthwhile because she figured he'd be good in bed. He oozed sex appeal and was very sensual in the way he moved and, frankly, his entire persona. What she particularly liked about it in this case was that Jack O'Neill didn't appear to be aware of the fact and Francine loved that in a man so was determined to make a score.

Francine was at ease with men, which could make them feel at ease with her, and the two chatted amiably about all sorts of different things until Jack asked if she wanted another drink. She hoped that was a good sign and, when he got up to mix them, followed him and softly ran her hand along his forearm as he poured.

Jack leapt a little at that signal, spilling some of the amber liquid, and decided that now was the time to nip this thing in the bud. He shouldn't lead her along without any intention of following through.

"Look, Francine I'm flattered, really I am…" he started.

"But?" she said, drawing back a little.

"But I just got engaged to a woman I love very much and have done for years so…"

"You're not interested."

He shrugged apologetically. "Sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on it's just… You're a very attractive woman and good company and in other circumstances I'd probably jump at the chance…"

"But… again." She smiled at him, regarding him seriously for the first time that evening.

"Yeah, but," he responded, grinning back with one of his irresistible smiles.

"That's a pity."

"Probably."

"Where's your fiancée?"

"Sam's in Colorado Springs. She's military too."

"That's a long way away. Are you sure you don't want to play? She need never know."

"I would know."

"Faithful type, huh? That's refreshing in a man."

"You might say I'm committed. Very committed."

"I wish I could say that makes me lose interest, but it doesn't."

"Oh."

"Does this mean I should leave?"

"Well, I mixed you a drink now so we can't waste that, can we?"

"Not even one little kiss as a reward for my efforts?"

"I-I…"

She leaned up to him, hopeful that he might respond, and they were locked into each other's eyes, so much so that Jack didn't hear anyone enter the house and was surprised when a small cough interrupted them.

"Um, what the hell is going on?" a voice said and Jack leapt away from Francine hastily.

"Daniel?" he cried, lurching from one state of bamboozlement to another.

"Looks like it was a good thing it was me and not Sam," Daniel said reproachfully, shocked by the sight that had met him when he entered.

Jack was taken aback by his sudden appearance for one moment forgetting that he should be wondering what Daniel was doing there and how he had got into the house. Both men stood staring at each other opened mouthed for a while and it was Francine who broke the silence. She might be a determined woman but she wasn't a fool. Now was the time to beat a hasty retreat.

"I think I'd better get going, Jack, and leave you with your friend. I really hope I haven't screwed anything up for you. Rain check?"

"Er… er… sure, Francine. Do you mind seeing yourself out?"

Francine nodded and, as she walked past Daniel, her predatory gaze alighted on his handsome features and she wondered if he was single and whether he was staying around for a while. He wasn't a silver haired fox like his friend the general, but he was extremely cute with his own distinctive kind of sex appeal. Now might not be quite the right time but she determined to find a way to introduce herself properly to the younger man. If Jack O'Neill weren't available maybe he'd be willing to fix her up with his friend.

As she brushed past him, Daniel paid no attention to her but remained staring at Jack, dumbfounded.

"Daniel, what the hell are you doing here?" Jack said eventually finding his voice.

"What's going on Jack?" Daniel countered with narrowed, suspicious eyes.

"Not what it seemed. How'd you get in for crying out loud?"

"Sam's key."

"W-what? She gave you her key?"

"Surprise!"

"Too damned right. I nearly had a heart attack."

"Because it was me or because of what you looked like you were about to do."

"Jeez, Daniel, I wasn't doing anything!"

"You should have seen it from my angle."

"You don't know me better than that?"

"Apparently not."

"That's enough! I'm not interested in another woman. For crying out loud, I love Sam and I'm not risking that after all these years, right?"

Daniel looked at him for a few moments more without speaking, as if trying to decide but actually cursing himself as a fool. Of course he knew Jack better than that. What had he been thinking? He'd just walked in at a bad moment, as always, and got the wrong impression. So his face broke out into a big smile.

"I'm sorry, it's just… I'm sorry," he had the good sense to look shamefaced and Jack accepted that.

"So?" Jack asked simply, expecting an explanation.

"I wanted to see your new house, congratulate you personally for your engagement to Sam, yadda, yadda, yadda." Daniel smiled and Jack returned it thinking that his friend had been hanging around him for too long, "So I thought I'd drop by. Hope you don't mind."

Virginia and Colorado were a considerable distance apart so one didn't just "drop by", but Jack didn't comment on that.

"Mind?" Jack responded, "Seems I'm choice less. You're here now." Noting a flicker of disappointment on Daniel's face, he added, "It's good to see you, Daniel." He smiled and Daniel approached with slight trepidation, pleased when Jack gave him a brief hug and patted his back. Relieved, Daniel returned both gestures. "Drink?"

"Coffee?"

"You bet. Kitchen's this way. I'll give you the two cent tour."

"I like what I've seen so far. Looks big, Jack."

"I need lots of space in case my friends drop by," Jack replied with a quirky smirk and Daniel grinned. "So Sam gave you her keys, huh? Pity she didn't come with you," he sighed wistfully.

"Just as well she didn't walk in and see you with that woman but, actually, she did come."

"What? Where is she?" Jack asked, his face lighting up at the notion that he was going to get to see her after one of their usual way too lengthy separations.

"She went to meet Betsy Sheridan and we-I wanted to surprise you so she gave me her keys and told me to let myself in."

"Meeting Betsy, huh? No doubt that means she won't be arriving for a few hours." Jack was a little disappointed by that but then perked up and added, "So I got you to myself for a while?"

"I know I'm no Sam substitute, Jack, but I hoped you might be pleased to see me."

"Sure I am! No Teal'c?"

"He's gone off to see Ry'ac."

"Right."

Jack made the coffee and then showed Daniel around the house, after which they settled down in his living room to talk.

"I'm so happy for you and Sam, Jack," Daniel said after they'd gone through the niceties of small talk about Jack's house, Alexandria and the Pentagon.

"Me too. And without you maybe it never would have happened. If it wasn't for that pendant, and her birthday…"

"You might never have plucked up the nerve?"

"Who knows?"

"And yet you never even called to tell me you'd got engaged."

Jack detected the hurt tone in Daniel's voice. "Your angry about that?" he asked.

"Maybe a little pissed. You called Teal'c!" Daniel's bottom lip jutted out peevishly.

"Daniel…" Jack started, about to create a number of different excuses but changing his mind and, unable to meet Daniel's eyes, he stared down at his feet and mumbled, "sorry."

Daniel was taken aback by his friend's immediate contrition. Jack didn't generally apologise for his errors quite so easily. However, he wasn't so quickly accepting of Jack's apology.

"Oh, well that's all right then," he replied in a slightly sarcastic tone. Jack looked up and met his gaze, realising that his friend was genuinely upset by what he believed to be his transgression.

"I am sorry. Really." Jack added, wondering what he was supposed to say. Man, he was so crap at this stuff sometimes!

"Okay."

"I just… I knew you'd keep me on the phone for hours asking questions so I…"

"Asked Sam to do it instead?"

"Pleaded with her, more like."

"Gee, thanks."

"Your welcome," Jack said with a small smile and Daniel's nose puckered into his own slight smile and they both laughed.

"I get it," Daniel said deciding to move swiftly on from his own hurt feelings, "you didn't want me spoiling your moment with Sam. Quite some moment Jack. You took your time."

"I had to wait until it was right."

"And when you were unpacking boxes in your new house was right?"

"Sounds kind of odd, huh? But, yeah, it seemed right. Don't know why, It just did."

"Sam's really happy."

"I hope so. Me too."

"Are you? I don't know, I sense something amiss."

Jack stared at Daniel silently thinking that the guy could know him too well at times, but sometimes not at all. The moment when he'd walked in to the room, Daniel had got that all-wrong and should have known better, but he knew that Jack's words of happiness hid something. Apparently ignoring Daniel's remark he continued on what might have seemed a totally different subject.

"So, all that stuff at the SGC with duplicate yous must have been pretty strange."

"Ah, now I get it. Martouf," Daniel said and Jack had to admit that his friend was pretty quick on the uptake.

"I heard things…"

"What things?"

"About Sam and Martouf. What else?"

"Been feeling sorry for yourself, Jack?"

"A little."

"Sam's crazy about you."

"But what about him?"

"There was nothing going on with them, Jack, believe me."

"No?"

"No, of course not! Who told you there was?"

"A little bird."

"Little birds ought to mind their own business and not go misreading situations and spreading unsubstantiated gossip. The whole scenario was just a little bit strange Jack. Even stranger than usual, if you get my meaning. There were all the mes, the Sam's, Teal'cs and Mitchells. Then there was Janet, and Martouf. I think we were all a little, um, bamboozled by the experience."

"I'll bet. No other Jack O'Neills, though, huh?"

"I guess you were otherwise occupied in all the other realities too, although I gave up asking."

"And I wasn't with Sam… in those other realities?"

Daniel sensed Jack's apprehension and couldn't quite believe his friend was that foolishly troubled by the appearance of Martouf from another reality. Surely he had to know that Sam truly loved him. Of course she'd been pleased to see Martouf alive and well. After all, she had killed the guy in their reality but, despite Jolinar's memories, they had been friends and nothing more. Daniel knew that there could have been more, but there wasn't. Jack had nothing to worry about on that score. The tenuous nature of his friend's ego came as a surprise.

"Sure you were, Jack. What do you think?"

"Don't really know what to think."

"Yeah well I figure you're thinking way too much and all the wrong things. In Martouf's reality, okay, so they'd lived together for a while, but it never worked out for them. She ended up with you."

"She did?"

"Jack, you're jealous of a man who doesn't exist."

"I know. Dumb, huh?"

"Not really. But you should have more faith in Sam. As I said, she's crazy about you. You should have seen her when she got back to the Mountain after you got engaged. She was excited and happy, more so than normal when she gets back from seeing you."

"She comes back excited and happy?" Jack said with a smile.

"What do you think? I'm betting you have a spring in your step too."

"Yeah, well I… she's…"

"Special?"

"Very special."

"Yes, she is. She thinks you are too. You haven't got a thing to worry about with her. I promise."

"That's good then."

"Way more than good. You're getting married, aren't you?"

"Eventually."

"Taking your time with that too?"

"We haven't decided. I'm still reeling from the shock that she wants to."

"It's such a shock?"

"Yes, no, I don't know… a good shock," Jack grinned. "You want to be my best man, Danny boy?" he added out of the blue, surprising Daniel, who was deeply flattered.

"B-best man? Really? Wow, Jack, I'd be honoured."

"Good, then that's settled." Jack said with a smile as if that closed the subject. He wasn't sure he wanted to continue on that theme because he didn't like talking about his feelings much and knew Daniel could probe way too deeply for his liking. Sam was the one he talked to about his feelings these days, which was a good and positive thing. "So, tell me about Janet?" he asked, determinedly changing the topic.

"Ah!" Daniel exclaimed, looking slightly pained. "It was really good to see her, even though it wasn't our Janet."

"Wish I could have been there for that."

"It was so hard letting her go again, Jack."

"I can imagine that."

"She was different."

"I guess she would be. Her Earth was dying all around her. I doubt that would sit too well with Janet."

"No."

"No."

"God, Jack, I really miss her," Daniel added.

"I know. Me too, buddy."

"I just… seeing her again was so… I'm not sure I can describe it."

"That's okay, you don't have to." Jack smiled thinly. "How did Sam take it?"

"Didn't she say?"

"You know Sam. Sure, we talked about it on the phone but that isn't enough Daniel. Is she okay?"

"I think it spooked us all a little."

"Go figure."

"Yeah. I think Sam's okay, but she was upset. She kept busy, trying to resolve the problem along with the other Sams and then we had a mission so I think she rode through it."

"She would. Hasn't she talked about it?"

"Not really."

"You know, she never even mentioned Martouf when we talked." Jack was surprised by his words because he'd thought he didn't want to talk about that subject anymore. Apparently he was wrong and knew that meant he was more troubled by it than he had wanted to admit.

"She didn't? Oh!" Daniel was beginning to understand why that might bother Jack. "She must have known you would find out he was there so you shouldn't believe she's trying to hide anything."

"I guess. Daniel, it's just… crap!"

"Jack, you're engaged to her. She wants to marry you. Are you so unsure of her? Frankly, I'm a bit surprised about that. You trust her don't you?"

"Of course I do!"

"Well then."

Jack sighed deeply and scrubbed his hands through his hair, clearly filled with uncertainty. Daniel suddenly felt a little helpless and didn't know how to react. Jack often seemed so confident and full of himself that it could be a shock to remember that some of this was a front, a public persona. Underneath he was just like any other human being with all those feelings and insecurities that go with being human.

"Jack, she'll be here later. Maybe you need to talk to her about it."

"I think I'd rather wait to see if she wants to talk to me about it."

"Don't let it fester."

"We'll see."

"Search your heart. You know Sam better. So do I."

"It's not like this is the first engagement she's ever had, is it Daniel?"

"Is that what this is all about? This is about Pete, not Martouf?"

"No, not really."

"Sounds like you have issues, Jack."

"No, not about that. We sorted all of that stuff out a long time ago."

"Could have fooled me. As I said, you know better. You're letting your worst side control your feelings. Use that head of yours Jack. I know you can."

Jack looked up at Daniel sharply, knowing he was right but irked by that fact. He was being irrational, but he couldn't seem to help himself.

"Tell you what, how about we drop this subject and get drunk?" Jack suggested.

"You want to get drunk?" Daniel said, arching his eyebrows.

"Yep! Why not?"

"Okay, we'll get drunk," Daniel said with a smile. If Jack was determined to drink Daniel thought it might be better to join him than not. If Jack wanted to talk more he would and, if he didn't, well, he might as well keep his friend company until Sam arrived. He figured that she'd sort him out in seconds flat. All Jack needed to do was to look into her eyes and he'd see how foolish he was being. Daniel was confident of that.

Thus, the two friends drank, and then they drank some more. Daniel, being the kind of man that he was, took it slowly, while Jack, being the kind of man that he was, knocked them back as if there were no tomorrow.

Instead of getting maudlin drunk, Jack got silly drunk, which was a relief to Daniel, who thought that must be a good sign. Their conversation took an inane turn as they reminisced about old times and old friends. Even when they touched once more on the subject of Janet, they found themselves laughing and joking and seeing the positives rather than the negatives that her loss could have provoked.

By the time Sam got there, a little the worse for wear herself after her night out with Betsy, Daniel was more or less comatose on the couch. Having given her keys to Daniel, she was knocking on the door for a while before Jack managed to get to his feet to answer. When he opened it, somewhat unsteadily, he grinned at her idiotically.

"My, my, my, Colonel Carter, are you drunk?" he said with something akin to a giggle as he let her in. She chuckled and took him into her arms, kissing his neck, and then his face and lips.

"Yes, honey, but not as drunk as you, it seems. You're stinking drunk," she declared laughingly.

"Drunk as a skunk," he admitted. "Great surprise, Dorothy. It's good to see Daniel, but even better to see you."

"I know that feeling, Mr Scarecrow. Are you capable of a kiss?"

"You betchya!"

Their kiss was long and hot and they more or less managed to remain upright for its duration.

"Wow!" he exclaimed, taking her hand and leading her into the living room, "some kiss!"

"You betchya!" she agreed. "God, Jack, I love you so much. You know that?" she declared, taking him into her arms again. Jack pulled back a little, searching her eyes and, while they were slightly glazed over with alcohol, he could see her feelings writ large within those bright blue orbs. Daniel had been right. Any doubts that had remained lurking within Jack promptly dissipated at that moment.

"Yeah, I know that. Of course you do baby. I love you too. We're getting married, aren't we?" he grinned.

"Too right we are! What have you done to poor Daniel?" she asked, spying their mutual friend, who obviously heard his name mentioned as he groaned a little but failed to open his eyes.

"Insisted that he got drunk with me."

"You're a naughty man, Jack O'Neill. A bad influence."

"Don't I know it?" he agreed amiably.

"I think we should sit down, down you?"

"Before we fall down?"

"Absolutely."

They flopped onto the couch, holding each other close, and Jack nuzzled into Sam's neck.

"Love you, Colonel," he mumbled thinking it couldn't hurt to reiterate those feelings.

"Love you too General, sir," she muttered back at him.

"How's beautiful Betsy?"

"Great."

"Catching up on gossip?"

"She so wanted to see the ring and talk about you."

"Lil' old me? I wish I'd been a fly on the wall for that conversation," he said rolling his eyes dramatically. "I guess it was all talk about wedding plans and the like, huh?"

"We might have vaguely touched on that subject," Sam said, grinning madly.

"I guess I'll be lucky to get any say in those plans."

"I might let you think you've got a say."

"Women!"

"What would you do without us?"

"I can think of one or two things I can do with you," he said with a slight laugh and then kissed her.

"Mmmm… nice. Um, Jack, I so need to talk to you, about Janet, about Martouf, about me – lots of mes actually."

"You do?"

"Not sure now's a good time, though."

"Tomorrow do?"

"Sure."

"Martouf?" he queried.

"That was all pretty strange, you know?"

"I bet. It was pretty strange to read about it without actually having to live it. Lots of Sams. Mind blowing!" Sam laughed in response and kissed the top of his head tenderly.

"Lots of Sams. Lots and lots."

"Multiple Carters. Real scary."

"Damned nerve!" she said slapping him good-humouredly. "It was… an interesting experience, you might say. All those different versions of me, similar in so many ways, but not the same."

"Mmmm… thought provoking… but, C-C-C-Carter, isn't mine the best?" he teased, winking.

"The best Carter?"

"Sure, the best Carter, Colonel, science geek, Sammie baby, woman - the bestest, best."

"I'd like to think she's the best," she grinned, giving him an affectionate squeeze.

"No doubt about it."

"Lots of Jack and Sams too, out there somewhere. It seems that all those Carters must have ended up with you. Lucky them!"

"Yeah, lucky." Jack joked self deprecatingly, "All of them?"

"Most of them as far as I could tell. Proves this is the right thing, doesn't it?"

"You needed proof?"

"No. I'm just sayin'," she replied, smiling wistfully.

"Just sayin'? That's allowed," he said, lifting his head to meet her eyes. "You can say anything you like, Dorothy. Have I ever told you that you're beautiful?"

"Yes, often."

"Good. Glad to hear that. Remind me to tell you that very, very often."

"Don't think I need to."

"Have I told you I love you recently?"

"A couple of times already tonight."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Oh. Well, it's always worth repeating."

"Yes, it is." Sam was highly amused by Jack's intoxicated manner. "You can tell me that as often as you like too."

"Good. I'll do that then."

"Right."

"How was old Marty?"

"It was good to see him again. Weird but wonderful."

"Wonderful?"

"I was always very fond of Martouf, you know that."

"Only too well."

"You're jealous?"

"Only a little."

"A little is too much. No need to be jealous in any way whatsoever. I never truly knew how I felt about him, Jack, but I do know how I feel about you."

"Yeah, I know you do. Me too."

"That's alright then."

"Yeahsureyabetchya!" he exclaimed with a smile.

Drunk and semi-conscious as Daniel was, these words exchanged between his two friends permeated his consciousness and he moaned softly and smiled to himself. Everything was going to be all right. More than all right. Everything was going to be just great. And he was going to be best man at his best friend's wedding. Didn't that beat all? Then, shortly after those thoughts flittered through his mind, Daniel Jackson fell into a state of contented oblivion.

"Sam, you know we were saying it was time Daniel got himself laid?" Jack said.

"Mmmm…"

"Well, I think I found just the right woman."

With those words, Jack cuddled up even closer to his fiancée and made mental plans for Doctor Daniel Jackson and Ms Francine Butler, a huge grin on his face.


	22. Never Alone: The Morning After

Title: Never Alone: The Morning After the Night Before

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: See bio

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst/Romance, episode tag

Content Level: Age 13+. There is an Adult Only Version of this story on my site at the address above

Content Warnings: Use of minor language and sexual situations

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9 and beyond

Spoilers: Ripple Effect, plus general for S9

Summary: Daniel Jackson wakes up at Jack's with one heck of a hangover

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone Part 21: Visitations

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2006 Su Freund

Author's Note: This story was written is response to the feedback I got for the previous part. Thanks to all. It is also a very slowly written response to a fic challenge on the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo Group (Challenge 29 set on 5th March) to include the line 'What we did last night' and/or the word 'calypso'. The story contains both and has not been beta read so I hope it reads okay in the circumstances.

**Never Alone: The Morning After the Night Before**

The hammer whacking the brains right out of his head didn't seem to want to stop. Daniel groaned loudly and turned over, falling on the floor with a thump. That woke him up with way more of a vengeance than he thought he deserved for the amount of alcohol he'd consumed with Jack the previous night.

'So not fair!' he thought, adjusting himself to his surroundings. The couch wasn't the best place to crash out when drunk. Ending up on the floor at a godforsaken hour was almost inevitable.

He lay there for a while trying to get his wits together and then realised that he desperately needed to pee, which is no doubt why he'd woken up in the first place. That damned hammer wasn't helping any either. Head spinning, Daniel eventually managed to sit upright without throwing up on Jack's carpet and then gingerly rose to his feet and staggered a little uncertainly to the john. Fishing through the bathroom cabinet, he found some painkillers and decided he needed water, lots of it, so ended up in the kitchen.

It was there that Jack and Sam found him next morning, soundly asleep with his head resting on the kitchen table. Jack smirked and quietly started to make coffee. They were all in desperate need of caffeine although he figured Daniel probably more than he and Sam.

It never ceased to amaze Jack how beautiful she looked even when hung over. That didn't seem right when he looked like he'd aged a million years overnight. Looked worse, felt healthier, was what he believed. Jack could hold his liquor better than either of his two visitors. Drunk he might have been but somehow he had a knack of making a quick recovery from such things, probably borne from years of practice. Both Daniel and Sam were mere novices.

Sam sat, head in hands, regretting that one final drink with Betsy that had pushed her over the edge. Or maybe it was that final three or four drinks that were to blame for her dry mouth and thrumming head. She'd had such a great night with her friend that she couldn't seriously regret it for too long but she did wonder why she had to suffer for enjoying herself so much. It seemed unfair.

Getting up to fetch both a glass of water and some orange juice, Sam took the opportunity peck her fiancée on the cheek and he grinned, pulling her into his arms for a hug. They said nothing, not wishing to awake Daniel too abruptly, but they didn't need to speak. All they needed was to hold each other for a while. Jack swayed her in his arms until she whispered that she was getting dizzy, so he led her back to the chair, passed her the glasses of water and juice and turned back to the coffee making.

A muffled moan rose from the heap that was Doctor Daniel Jackson, and he stirred.

"Coming back to the world of the living, Daniel?" Jack commented.

"Errrrm… argh…" Daniel mumbled in response.

"Coffee," Jack said, pouring one and placing it front of his friend.

"Keep it coming," Daniel managed to say, "excuse me!" he added, standing up quickly and dashing out of the room.

"I guess we need to do something today that will make us forget hangovers," Jack said to Sam.

"I don't think Daniel has ever been to Alexandria before."

"Walk with guided tour then?"

"Sure. If we can persuade him that it's good for his soul."

"He'll love all that history stuff."

"It's a bit too modern day for him," Sam answered with a grin.

"Well, maybe it's time to bring him into the 18th and 19th centuries." Jack sat down next to her with his coffee and took her hand. "How ya feelin'?"

"I've been worse. I blame Betsy entirely."

"Poured the booze down you did she?" Jack countered with a wicked leer.

"How about you?" she asked, pointedly ignoring his jibe.

"I look way worse than I feel."

"You're looking pretty great to me Mister Scarecrow," she said affectionately, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"I am? You are such a flatterer, Dorothy."

"Would I lie to you?"

"You might if you thought it would make me feel better."

"I don't have to flatter you, Jack, you're gorgeous."

"Mmmm… thanks, beautiful. I guess it's good you think so."

Shifting his chair closer, he wrapped an arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. Daniel returned, faintly smiling when he saw them so close and cosy, and remembering the events of the night before. It didn't appear that Jack had any doubts about Sam and Martouf now. That was a good thing.

He did, however, fret a little about what he'd seen as he'd entered the house. Despite what Jack had said, he couldn't help but wonder. Jack loved Sam, he knew that, but if he was pissed with her about Martouf there was no knowing what he might have been getting up to. Jack could react in unpredictable ways.

"Morning," he said quietly, suppressing his thoughts for now.

"Hey, Danny boy, how you feeling?" Jack asked with a huge smile.

"Terrible, but the coffee will help."

"Aspirin?" Sam suggested.

"Got some, thanks."

"So how'd you end up sleeping at the kitchen table, for crying out loud?"

"Got up in the middle of the night, water and aspirin. I guess I…" Daniel smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

"Join the hangover club, Daniel," Sam said, trying to console him.

"You too, huh?"

"Yep."

"Jack?"

"Me? I'm feeling great!"

Sam and Daniel exchanged glances, rolling their eyes. "So not fair!" they exclaimed simultaneously.

They sat in amiable silence for a while, drinking coffee and reading the different daily papers Jack had delivered. Daniel couldn't help but be surprised that his friend got more than one paper on a regular basis. Clearly he liked to keep up with the news.

"Why more than one newspaper, Jack?" he asked eventually, breaking the silence.

"I like to keep abreast of things, Daniel. Surprised?"

"Um, not sure why you need more than one paper is all."

"More than one perspective."

"Ah!" Daniel exclaimed, still puzzled. Peering out from behind his Washington Post, Jack caught the look of bemusement on his friend's face and grinned.

"As I said, surprised?" he asked again.

"A little."

"Thought I only ever read the National Enquirer?" Jack arched his eyebrows enquiringly.

"Or Mad magazine," Daniel responded with a grin, "and I guess both of those provide a different and somewhat unique perspective."

"You betchya." A faint smile appeared on his face as he continued to regard his friend.

"Sometimes you are full of surprises, Jack," Daniel commented.

"And yet at other times I can be boringly predictable, eh?"

"I never said that," Daniel replied, hurriedly rushing to his own defence.

"I know, but it's true, isn't it?" Jack said, placing his paper down on the table and eyeballing Daniel with amusement. Sam squeezed his arm and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"No, Jack, it's not true. Now will you boys stop already? I thought we were meant to be recovering from headaches, not giving ourselves new ones. More coffee required," she got up to make it. "I would offer you something to eat, Daniel, but it looks like Jack forgot to go shopping again."

"If you occasionally told me when you were coming I might get something in," Jack retorted.

"But I so love surprising you, Jack," Sam said with a big smile that Jack couldn't help but return in kind. She had more ability to make him grin than any person he'd met in a long time. Her smile was wonderfully infectious. Once again, Jack found himself realising how much he adored this woman: heart and soul. He was a lucky man.

"So far all your surprises have been great ones, so keep 'em coming." Jack replied with one of his quirky smirks.

"Was I a great surprise, Jack?" Daniel asked, pushing his glasses up his nose and staring at Jack.

"The best, Daniel, old friend."

Daniel grinned, taken aback by the comment. He'd expected a sharp O'Neill quip.

"I guess maybe I didn't dream that you asked me to be your best man, after all," he said.

"He did?" Sam beamed and leaned over to kiss Jack's hair.

"Let's hope I don't live to regret it," Jack said with mock surliness.

"Hey, I won't let you down!"

"I know that, Daniel. Think I would have asked if I thought you would?"

"You two thought much about when the day will come?" Daniel asked curiously.

"Not really," Jack responded. "Sam and Betsy seem to be planning it all without me so I guess she'll tell me when," he added with a chuckle.

"I suppose we need to talk about that sometime soon, Jack," Sam said.

"Yeah, but that's private stuff for now," Jack hinted, wanting that to be their conversation.

"Of course, Jack, I'm not trying to interfere where I'm not wanted," Daniel said defensively.

"What? You're gonna change the habit of a lifetime?" Jack joked although Daniel glared at him in response. "So, wanna go for a walk? We can get breakfast in town," Jack suggested, rapidly moving away from the jest that his friend appeared not to find so amusing.

Sam was enthusiastic while Daniel groaned although, deep down, he knew he'd feel way better if they went out. So they drank more coffee and got ready.

Daniel liked the old town of Alexandria: the cobbled streets and quaint shops. It turned out he knew a lot more than Jack or Sam had suspected about the local history and Jack found himself activity discouraging a lecture, much to Daniel's vexation.

As he liked getting to know his local area, Jack had wandered around the place quite a lot since he'd moved in to Alexandria and knew a few good spots. They ate a gargantuan breakfast at a little place he'd been to before, also consuming vast vats of coffee and orange juice.

"Well, I'll be… Jack O'Neill! Darling, how are you?"

Jack looked up sharply and drew in a breath. From her intimate and gushing tone you'd have thought that Francine Butler had known Jack for a long time, and quite well. Jack was taken aback when she kissed his cheek and Sam blanched, eyes widening, while Daniel looked on with astonishment, his mind whirling with the same doubt that had been nagging him since he'd arrived at Jack's.

"You don't mind if I join you, Do you?" she asked, immediately sitting in the spare seat next to Daniel and answering her own question, "Of course not. We're good neighbours after all."

As she requested more coffee, Jack eyed Daniel with a "help!" expression on his face and his friend shrugged as if he didn't know how to. Francine turned back to face them and smiled flirtatiously.

"Daniel, wasn't it?" she beamed. Although they hadn't been introduced as such, she remembered Jack using that name, "we met briefly last night. And you must be Jack's girlfriend, Sam? Have I got the names right, Jack dear?"

Francine moved her hand across the table, placing it on Jack's arm, and he coughed awkwardly. He'd noticed Sam's raised eyebrows at the mention of last night and wondered what was going through her head. She didn't look too happy at the fact that Francine's hand rested on his arm and who could blame her? Crap! Hastily he moved the arm away.

"Not girlfriend, fiancée. I'm Jack's fiancée," Sam corrected possessively, regarding Francine through narrowed eyes. Jack was feeling decidedly discomforted.

"Sam, Daniel, this is Francine Butler. She lives on my street and came around to introduce herself to me last night," he said rapidly in the hopes of heading Francine off at the pass.

"We met," Daniel replied briefly.

"I'm so pleased to meet you both!" Francine said excitedly, as if she had been waiting for the moment the whole of her life.

"Likewise, I'm sure," Sam responded with what Jack detected was a hint of rancour, but Francine ignored that.

"I'm so pleased I've met up with you this morning, Jack, because I forgot to mention that I'm having a few neighbours over for a little get together later and I so wanted to invite you, and your friends, of course. Tell me you'll come!"

"Actually, we have plans!" Sam retorted quickly. She could see that this woman was the man eating type and there was no way she was letting her eat her man, not while she had something to say about the matter. It was pretty obvious that Francine Butler would do that very thing in the blink of an eye.

"We do?" Daniel interjected, enjoying Jack's disquiet, and Sam shot him a look. "Oh yes we do," he said, smiling and trying to pretend that Sam hadn't kicked him under the table.

"That's such a shame," Francine said, ignoring the palpable atmosphere she had created, "it would be a great way for you to meet some of your other neighbours, Jack."

"Yeah, a shame," Jack agreed, trying to be amiable but earning a sour look from Sam. Oy!

As she sipped at her coffee, Francine rattled on about the neighbours and her party for a while, seemingly oblivious that her three companions weren't joining in merrily. She was not, however, totally unaware of Sam's displeasure and she turned her attentions away from Jack to Daniel Jackson who, although a little stunned by it, was actually quite flattered in his own kind of way.

"Last night?" Sam asked quietly, through gritted teeth, and Jack moaned softly.

"She popped round to introduce herself and I offered her a drink. Then Daniel showed up and she left," he explained.

"I bet she came round to do more than introduce herself." Sam's tone told Jack to be wary.

"Probably, but I made it clear I'm already spoken for."

"Oh yeah?"

"Sam, for crying out loud… this is the woman I was thinking about for Daniel. As I told you, he needs to get laid."

"Her? She'll eat him alive, Jack."

"That's the point," he smirked, " come on, honey, you don't really think…" he placed an arm around her and leaned in to kiss her cheek, which caught Francine's attention.

"Sam, my dear, you are so lucky to have a man like Jack O'Neill. Oh that there were enough of them for all of us," Francine said with a sigh.

"Yes, very lucky," Sam agreed, cuddling up to Jack as if to say 'hands off, he's mine.'

"Oh, is that the time? I really must go and pick up my little Muttly from the parlour."

"Muttly?" Daniel asked.

"My dog."

"Wacky Races?" Jack enquired.

"Yes, of course Jack," she replied with a grin, "although actually she's an adorable miniature poodle bitch with one of those awfully long pedigree names."

It was all Jack could do to keep a straight face. Miniature poodle? How appropriate for Francine's kind of personality. He had visions of her carrying the poor little thing everywhere and fussing over her in that sickly way that some dog owners could: perhaps dressing her up in ridiculous doggy clothing. Ack! He wasn't a miniature poodle kind of man. Jack preferred 'real' dogs.

"It was so wonderful to have bumped into you," she said, pecking Daniel on the cheek as she got up, and then doing the same thing to Jack. "If you change your mind about my little shindig, it's an early start early finish kind of thing. People will be starting to arrive at around 5 O'clock. Perhaps I'll see you later." After she left, Daniel sighed loudly.

"Sh-she's a little overwhelming, isn't she?" he said, beginning to appreciate the position Jack might have been in when he arrived the previous night. "She gave me her number and asked me to call."

"Sweet!" Jack exclaimed.

"I'm not sure I want one of your cast-offs, Jack," Daniel opined and Sam gaped at him.

"Cast-offs? What the hell does that mean, Daniel?" she asked angrily, "What did I miss last night?"

"Nothing! I didn't mean anything by it," Daniel replied hurriedly, regretting his choice of words.

"Oy!" Jack exclaimed. "I can't believe you're jealous of that woman, Sam."

"I'm not!"

"You so are. Okay, so she was flirting with me, she even tried to kiss me. But nothing happened, I swear! If you think I would do anything to risk losing you, you're nuts. If I can believe that nothing happened between you and Martouf, why can't you believe me about Francine Butler? Jeez, she so isn't my type."

"Martouf's different. And I don't think men have types. They'll say yes to just about anyone."

"Oh yeah, right," Jack said argumentatively. "Thanks!"

"Hey, if you two want to pick a fight perhaps you should take it outside?" Daniel interrupted.

"Daniel…!"

"Look, I didn't want to cause trouble," Daniel hastened to add, "Me and my big mouth. Sam, I didn't mean to imply… this is Jack for god's sakes. We both know him better than that. I just meant, she was after him and now she's targeting me, is all. Sh-she's one of those types of women. Please don't argue about this and spoil our weekend. Although this is probably the last time I'll be invited…" he looked pained and Jack patted his arm.

"I can't recall inviting you this time, Danny boy," Jack grinned, "But we aren't going to fight, are we Sam?" Jack asked, capturing her eyes, but she pouted. "Baby… you're the only woman I want, right? So much for trust."

"Jack I trust you," Sam rushed to respond, horrified that she was being so accusatory. Of course she trusted him. This whole situation was ludicrous. "I guess I'm just being foolish. You're right, I was jealous. You felt the same about Martouf, right?"

"As you said, Marty was different."

"Jack, I didn't mean…"

"I know. Sheesh, I could happily strangle that Butler woman."

Jack smiled in his sweetest, most appealing crooked manner and Sam responded by kissing him briefly on the lips and then beaming back with a grin that could have powered the stargate for a month. Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. Crisis averted, or so it seemed.

He might have had doubts about Jack but now realised that he was totally out of line to even consider that his friend might have been messing around with Francine Butler, or any other woman come to that. Jack was so manifestly head over heels in love with Sam, and vice versa, that it thrilled him to see them together. Small spats were only natural between couples so he wasn't too worried about this one.

They left the café and walked around town, popping into shops to browse and then strolling by the river. Daniel was wishing that Teal'c were there because, however much he loved spending time with his friends, he felt a bit like the spare man at a wedding. Sensing his unease, Sam stood in between the two men, linking arms with both to ensure Daniel was included, and they made as much of a striking trio as Jack and Sam did as a couple.

Much to Jack's surprise, it was Sam who suggested that they go to the party. It was later, when they got back to Jack's, that she managed to catch him alone and tackle his notion of pairing Francine Butler and their friend.

"Jack, you can't seriously expect Daniel and Francine would make a good couple, can you?"

"I'm only thinking that they might have a bit of fun together, not that they'll settle down and get married! Daniel deserves a little fun, doesn't he?"

"With Francine Butler? She's just so not his type."

"I know that."

"I think Daniel had some hopes of rekindling the flame with Sarah."

"Really? Isn't that a bit odd after everything? She did try to kill him, after all."

"But that wasn't Sarah, that was the Goa'uld. Although I guess that's probably why nothing ever happened. Too much history."

"So he needs to get laid, right?"

"For all we know he gets laid on a regular basis," Sam said with a smile, allowing Jack to capture her in his arms and give her a cuddle.

"Daniel would never been able to hide something like that," Jack whispered. "Talking of getting laid…" he added, hands starting to roam over her suggestively. "I would give almost anything to make love to you right now."

"We have a guest!"

"Not in front of the children?" Jack said with a chortle.

"It's a bit… no, we can't!"

"In that case, it's all the more reason we push him onto Francine Butler."

"Jack! You are outrageous."

"Yeah, but don't you just love it?" he smiled broadly.

"As it happens, Mr Scarecrow…" she said, nipping him playfully in a sensitive spot.

"Ack! I am so gonna get you for that."

"I'll be waiting."

"Mmmm… sounds good."

He pulled her close, kissing her fervently and cursing Daniel Jackson inside his head. Jack so wanted to get down and dirty with Sam. It wasn't that Jack didn't enjoy Daniel's company, just that he wanted some intimate alone time with his fiancée. The previous night, both of them had drunk too much for anything more than a quick cuddle and grope.

"I figure we ought to go to Francine's little get together," Sam said out of the blue, surprising Jack.

"You do?" he queried.

"We'll get Daniel laid and then we can get laid too."

"Right. You women are so devious. Okay, we'll go, but don't drink too much because, later on, you are mine!" he teased, faking a wicked laugh while twirling a non-existent moustache.

"Oh no! Please, sir, be gentle, I'm a virgin!" Sam joked, feigning the part of the wide-eyed and innocent damsel in distress.

"Grrrrr… can we pretend?" Jack asked with a lecherous smirk, warming to the idea of seducing her as if she were an innocent.

"There's no keeping you down, is there?" she smiled.

"I hope not," his smirk growing even smirkier.

"You are a wicked man, Jack O'Neill. I so love that about you."

Daniel was taken aback when Sam said she'd changed her mind about the party but was happy to fit in with their plans, and Francine was thrilled when the threesome arrived on her doorstep.

"I swear that if there is anything untoward going on at this party…" Jack whispered to Sam.

"Untoward? What kind of thing did you have in mind, Jack?"

"You hear stories about what goes on in the suburbs, right?" he said with a cheeky grin and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Pissed off that you don't normally get invited?" she joked and he laughed.

"You got that right," he said with a lustful leer. "But, frankly, I can't wait to get back home and remove that outfit, Sam. You look so hot." His hand wandering briefly to her thigh, a small moan escaped his mouth. "You're wearing stockings," he declared with a hint of excitement in his voice.

"Jack, hands off until later. Let's go meet your neighbours."

Francine immediately latched onto Daniel, although not in the voracious way they had anticipated. Instead she did the perfect hostess thing and ensured that Jack and Sam were introduced to everyone. She was a surprising woman; seemingly totally unlike the overly flirtatious person they had previously met. That flirtatiousness was severely toned down and, while she remained slightly mischievous, she was gracious and friendly but not over the top.

The three friends found themselves warming to her slightly and started to enjoy themselves. It seemed that Jack had some very interesting neighbours, from NASA scientists to military and businessmen. Sam got on splendidly with "the geek brigade", as Jack dubbed the scientists, and Jack met a couple of people who might be useful contacts at the Pentagon.

As the numbers thinned out, Jack and Sam thought it was probably time to leave. Francine expressed disappointment, but it was clear that she now considered Doctor Daniel Jackson to be the main prize.

"But that doesn't mean you have to leave, does it Daniel?" she asked.

"Um…" Daniel looked towards his friends.

"If you want to stay longer, Daniel, go for it," Jack said, trying his best not to titter.

"Um… are you sure you two don't mind?"

"We'll manage without you," Jack replied, smiling at Sam in a 'can't wait to get you home' sort of way. "You'll need these," he added, handing over a set of keys.

"I… um… thanks," Daniel said looking faintly embarrassed. Jack figured he so knew he was going to get laid.

"No need to rush home, Cinderella, I doubt you'll turn into a pumpkin." Jack winked at Daniel, smiled and nodded at Francine, and then took Sam's arm and led her away.

It was at this point that Francine turned her 'in the face' seductive flirtation back on. Daniel Jackson never stood a chance, even if he'd wanted to.

Meanwhile, as they crossed the street, Jack's hand strayed to Sam's butt and then down her thigh. Without a word, as they entered the house, he swept her into his arms, backing her up against the front door. This time, his hand wandered under her dress to the bare section of her thigh between the stocking tops and her pants. He kneaded and caressed that naked flesh with an air of desperation.

"Gonna do it right here, Jack?" Sam asked breathlessly, clearly wanting sex just as much as he did.

"If you want to do it here, babe, just say the word. I'd do it almost anywhere with you," he responded with a downright leer and, when she answered in the affirmative, they had fast and furious sex right up against his front door.

Despite a deep sense of satisfaction Jack wanted more than just that, so coaxed her into the bedroom and proceeded to seduce her slowly but surely until both of them were worked up sufficiently again. It wasn't long before Sam turned the tables and started to seduce him right back, her hands softly tracing her fingers over his face, down his neck and shoulders and around his chest

At the touch of her fingers, Jack opened his eyes to look at her, his mouth contorting into a lopsided smile, and Sam grinned because it was hard not to when he smiled like that. It had always seemed that this was a smile especially intended for her alone and she loved the way it made her feel. It represented so much of the Jack O'Neill that she had grown to love so deeply over the years they had worked together, and with increasing intensity since they had started this relationship all those months before.

She loved this man with a wholehearted passion and hoped it would ever be thus. Sam didn't believe in happy ever after, no relationship could be full of ups without any downs, but she fervently wished that any downs they faced would make the ups all the sweeter. It couldn't be as good as this forever; if it were she'd die from too much of that wonderfully fine thing that was Jack O'Neill.

Sam burned this perfect moment into her memory to draw upon in those bad times that would inevitably come one day. When Jack was being a pain in the ass, which she knew he could and would be at times, she would try to remember it, along with so many other perfect moments she recalled from their long journey together.

Rolling around the bed, they playfully tussled for control of the sexual act and, afterwards, Jack kissed her hair and cheek and then wrapped an arm around her and stared at her with a huge grin on his face.

"Sweet!" he exclaimed with satisfaction.

"Sweet?" Sam queried light-heartedly.

"You know what I mean."

"I so do not. Mind-blowing, maybe?" she arched her eyebrows questioningly, a look of amusement in her eyes.

"Well, of course that," he agreed.

"Fantastic?"

"That too."

"Orgasmic?" She smiled and winked.

"Definitely that," he chuckled, tickling her mischievously.

"Hey, stop it!"

"Told ya I'd get ya later."

"Jack!"

"You really want me to stop?"

"I wanna cuddle, Mr Scarecrow," she replied with a girlish voice, pouting her lips.

"Anything for you, Dorothy," he agreed, taking her into his arms and squeezing her gently. They lay silently entwined, listening to the steady sound of each other's breathing and dozing on and off. Jack jumped slightly when Sam spoke.

"I wonder how Daniel's getting along?"

"Getting laid I'll bet."

"I hope it's as good for him as it was for us."

"That simply is not possible," Jack stated with a smile, kissing Sam briefly on the lips.

"Flatterer," Sam joked.

"That's the truth. Not possible."

If she could have snuggled up closer to Jack she would have but that wasn't possible either, so she softly brushed her fingers over his back instead.

"Thank you Jack."

"For what?"

"For thinking I'm the best. For loving me so much. For being you. For everything."

"You don't need to thank me for any of that."

"Yes I do."

"Don't"

"Do."

"Don't." They both chuckled. "Too much Daniel Jackson. He's a bad influence." Jack added.

"Ack! Daniel's the bad influence?"

"What are you implying, woman?" Jack replied with mock annoyance. "I surely don't know what you mean."

"Oh, shut up General O'Neill and go to sleep."

"You wanna sleep snookums?"

"Snookums? Eek!"

"You don't like snookums?" he grinned into her hair.

"I hate snookums."

"Sorry my little sunflower."

"Jack!"

"Petal? Love bundle? Sweet pea?" he teased.

"Ack! You're incorrigible, asshole!"

"Asshole? Is that the best you can do?"

She turned around in his arms and he spooned against her, arms enclosing her lovingly, and they bantered on playfully for a while before finally falling into a long deep sleep full of good dreams.

When Daniel awoke with black hair sticking in his face it took a moment for him to regain his senses and remember where he was and who with. Francine Butler! Jeez, what had he done? Had he really been so desperate? He had to admit that it had been quite a night and he had enjoyed their sexual games, and Francine had been different to what he'd anticipated. Nevertheless he felt a little ashamed because he had used her for sex when he wasn't even sure he liked her. That wasn't really like him.

On the other hand, she had wanted it and had been determined to get it so who was he to argue? She wanted to be used, was asking for it. It had taken a while for the penny to drop and to realise that Jack had set him up. Sam's complicity surprised him, though not Jack's. Damn! What to do now?

Daniel disentangled himself without waking her and started to get dressed. He so had to get out of there! Then she woke up. No escape without… without what? Daniel felt a profound sense of guilt.

"You're leaving?" she asked. "No goodbyes, is that it?" Daniel stopped dressing and met her eyes.

"Look, Francine, what we did last night…" he tailed off, uncertain of what to say.

"You don't think you want to do it again, do you?"

"I… erm… I…"

"Wham, bam thank you ma'am, huh?" she said and Daniel felt his shame deepen. "Daniel, I know I can be too forward and come over like… like a slut I guess, but…" she sighed, looking slightly sad, "but I'm a lot nicer than I can appear on the surface."

"Come on, Francine! You tried to get Jack into bed before you tried me."

"Yet you slept with me anyway so what does that make you Daniel Jackson?" she argued and Daniel was embarrassed, knowing she was right. He had wanted sex, gone for it because it was available and now he wanted to back off. He was acting like a bastard and that wasn't him. Francine continued, "Look, he's a very attractive man. But so are you. I think you're… probably way nicer than he is."

Daniel laughed at that because he had to admit that Jack wasn't the type he would describe as nice. On the other hand, he was a good man, with a big heart, and Daniel respected and admired him a lot. They were so different, but maybe that was why they seemed to gel in such an oddball kind of way.

"You're probably way too nice for the Francine Butler most people see," she added.

"I'm not being particularly nice now, though, am I?" he admitted and she shook her head sorrowfully in response. Daniel sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, regarding her curiously. "If it's a front, Francine, then why?"

"Don't we all put on a front?"

"Some more than others."

"I know I can be too overbearing. It puts men off. I don't know why I do that."

"Y-you can be pretty overbearing, yes. Defence mechanism, maybe?"

"I thought you were an archaeologist, not a psychologist."

"I don't need to be a psychologist to figure that one out, Francine. You were different last night. Once we were alone together and relaxed… very… different. I don't know what to make of you."

"I'm just a stupid, lonely woman who makes an ass of herself to try and get a man to keep her company for a while. I just want what everybody else seems to have. I guess I try too hard." Daniel noticed her eyes glisten with tears that she tried to hold back. His heart went out to her and he lay on the bed and took her into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I guess I didn't think you cared if was a total bastard, but you do." He soothed her affectionately as she sobbed quietly in his arms, his guilt even worse than before.

When he arrived back at Jack's place later that day, Daniel was whistling merrily as he waltzed into their living room and Jack smirked.

"Have a good night, Daniel?"

"Yes, I did actually. You two set me up, didn't you? I'm surprised at you, Sam," he said accusingly and Sam bit her bottom lip, glancing at Jack and then returning her gaze to Daniel.

"But you're not surprised at me?" Jack responded, trying to look the picture of innocence. "We thought we were doing you a favour."

"Well you did."

"You needed to get yourself laid," Jack said and Daniel looked embarrassed. "I can only imagine that you did given that's it's almost afternoon now."

"We've been talking."

"All night and all morning?"

"Well… it's really none of your business what I get up to, is it Jack?"

"At last, he appreciates how I feel," Jack joked and Daniel grinned.

"Are you saying I'm too nosey sometimes?"

"Might be. So, how'd it go? You're looking, um, slightly befuddled," Jack pressed just as he suspected Daniel probably would if this situation were reversed.

"Well, right at the moment I'm feeling a little like Odysseus held captive by Calypso, okay?" Daniel said dreamily.

"What the hell… and I always I thought Calypso was a moon of Saturn."

"Titan's daughter," Daniel replied by way of explanation, "She was a nymph who fell in love with Odysseus, seduced him and then kept him captive on her island for seven years."

"Oh my. If I didn't know better I'd think Danny boy here was in love," Jack commented to Sam. "With Francine Butler, for crying out loud? So not your type, Daniel." Daniel's reply surprised both Jack and Sam.

"What would you know? And don't insult Francine. She's a very nice lady."

"Wha…?" Jack was taken aback.

"And I'm seeing her again later, so back off, okay. I'm gonna hit the shower." With that comment, Daniel left the room and Jack looked at Sam with eyebrows arched in surprise.

"Crap! Have we created a monster?" Jack asked.

"Don't knock it if he's happy, Jack. Maybe she isn't what she seems. Face it; she wasn't the same Francine at her party as I met earlier in the day. You should know more than most about hiding behind a mask."

"Little old me?" he kidded with a grin. "Sheesh, who am I to argue if Daniel's happy? And the situation has its bonuses. I get to spend more time alone with you."

"You won't find me arguing with that."

"Mmmm… C'mere," Jack said, placing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her towards him. "I'm already making plans for later," he added with an eyebrow waggle.

"Really? Me too."

Sam smiled and Jack pushed his lips against hers, both thinking about what they might get up to when they were alone. The Daniel/Francine thing was a turn up for the book but it seemed they could end up on a really interesting page.


	23. Never Alone: The Longest Long Weekend

Title: Never Alone: The Longest Long Weekend

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: su freundficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst/Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Use of minor language

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9 and beyond

Spoilers: Seth, Threads, general for S9

Summary: Jack meets Sam's brother and family, and it doesn't bode well from the start, but he won't let Mark get away with disrespecting Sam.

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone Part 22: The Morning After the Night Before

Status: Series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2006 Su Freund

Author's Note: Written in response to feedback asking when Jack is going to meet Sam's brother. Also this story meets the requirements of Fic Challenge 32 on the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo group, issued on 25 March, to include the line "Jack you're insane!" and/or the word 'talisman'. This includes both and, as with my other challenge fics, has not been beta read – you have been warned!

**Never Alone: The Longest Long Weekend**

This was going to end up being the longest long weekend ever! Jack felt very uncomfortable and out of place, as if he wasn't wanted, and he figured that was probably because he wasn't. Although a casual observer might have thought Mark had been politely friendly, Jack knew better and could sense the resentment and bitterness emanating from Sam's brother. He hadn't exactly been welcoming.

Jack had kind of expected the visit to be tough but had hoped it would be okay for Sam's sake. Whether Mark liked it or not, he was going to spend the rest of his life with the man's sister, so he ought to get used to it. But Jack was military so Mark's wariness was almost a given.

This truly was not how Jack wanted to spend his spare time but Mark and his kids were all the blood family Sam had left, apart from her Uncle Irving, who she barely saw these days. So Jack sacrificed his precious time willingly, albeit against his better nature. He had been dreading this moment ever since Sam had first mooted it but they were going to get married, it was inevitable that he had to meet her family sometime. Now was as good a time as any.

Jack sincerely hoped that the few days they had planned to spend with Cassie and Chris after this ordeal was over would be a huge improvement. That seemed more than likely and he looked forward to it with relish, pleased they had organised their trip to California this way: Sam's family first, Cassie second. They might actually get a real vacation after all, if only for a few days.

Things had gone wrong from almost the moment of their arrival, starting with Mark's ridiculous notion of them sleeping in separate beds. Jack figured that if Sam had agreed, he might have meekly followed for her benefit, but she had gone ballistic and had a huge row with her brother.

"Holy Hannah, we're engaged Mark!" Sam shouted at one point, "and even if we weren't, who are you to tell me who I spend my nights with? I love Jack. Accept it."

"Yeah, but it's my house, Sam, so what I say goes," Mark replied acidly.

"Fine!" she turned to face Jack. "Let's go find a hotel. We aren't staying here unless we stay together." Jack was a little perplexed by the situation, pleased that she was sticking to her guns over him but upset that he was the cause of a family row.

"Mark," he said, "I know we only just met but don't be such an ass." Mark looked at him askance and retorted with anger.

"How dare you call me an ass in my own home!"

"Ack! Whatever," Jack replied waving his hand dismissively, although his overall demeanour was calm and polite. "It wouldn't matter what I called ya because you'd hate me anyway, although actually I'm not such a bad guy once you get to know me. And I'm the luckiest guy on this planet because your sister loves me and she's going to marry me, god help her. The least you could do for her sake is give me a chance. If you aren't willing to do that, and stop treating us like a couple of wayward children, then you are way worse than just an ass."

Mark blustered a bit after that but Jack and Sam ended up sharing a room, although the rest of that evening had been extremely awkward. Mark's wife, Jo, had done her best to steer through the ice, but it had been a very slippery road indeed.

It continued like that over the following day although Jack tried to forget about it and got stuck into playing with the kids. He was great with them as he was with all children, and they loved him despite that they sensed there was something wrong.

Sam's niece Judith, or Jude as she got called, was a bright and gregarious 13 year old who Jack believed was going to knock the boys dead when she was older; probably already did. She had long light brown hair and rather attractive freckles scattered across her nose, with huge blue eyes that were reminiscent of Sam's. Apart from that, she was very like her mother, Jo, and reminded him a little of Cassie when she had first come into their lives and out of her shell, smart as a whip and twice as sassy.

Her younger brother, Richard, known as Rick, was way more reserved, although Jack brought out the best in him, which impressed Mark, unbeknown to Jack. The boy was a sandy haired 10 year old who seemed a little slow-witted, particularly compared to his sister. It didn't take long for Jack to discover that Rick was also a lot brighter than he made out, he was simply a lot quieter about his intelligence. Already the kid was hiding behind a mask – sheesh!

Jude might have been 13 but was not yet at that stage where she eschewed childish games to pretend to be a grown up, as teenagers have a tendency to do. Jack was pleased that she was happy to join in, and even humor her "baby" brother, which was unusual he thought.

So they played games, both active and sedentary. In the park, they played a little baseball and in the yard there was a hoop attached to the wall so they had some fun shooting hoops. Later they got down to the more intellectual stuff, like Scrabble and Monopoly. And Jack joked and played his way into their hearts.

All the while, Mark remained distantly polite, although joined in and had some fun with his kids. Jack was relieved that the children where there so he didn't have to communicate with the adults much. He left that to Sam. But Jack could see that Mark's aloofness towards him upset her. He wasn't going to suffer that in silence and this is how he came to seek out Sam's brother that night for quiet chat: alone.

Mark was sitting in his study going over some papers and Jack knocked politely but didn't wait to be invited in. The study was a plush affair, lined with books and papers, with a PC on an attractive but large antique desk and a big leather chair for its user.

"Mind if I sit down?" Jack asked although it was a rhetorical question, as he didn't wait for Mark to respond before pulling over a stool he spotted over at one side of the room. Mark eyed him with suspicion and Jack tried to ignore that and soldier on with what he felt needed saying.

"I'd like to try and negotiate a truce," he said. "I've got a white flag right here." He waved a handkerchief hoping that Mark might be amused and it would break the ice, but it seemed he lacked his sister's sense of humor. Jack wondered whether that was because of him or whether this was what Mark was really like - god forbid!

"A truce?"

"Yeah. Look Mark, I'd appreciate it if you'd show your sister some respect because she deserves better than for you to show her none. Think what you like about me. I'd rather we got along because you're Sam's family and you're important to her, but in the final analysis, if you don't like me much it won't break my heart. On the other hand, if you break hers it's going to really piss me off."

"You're protective of her, I guess that's good." Mark found himself impressed by Jack's forthrightness. He wasn't trying to suck up to Sam's brother the way some men might.

"Sam told me why she thinks you don't like the military much, so how about your side of the story?"

Mark arched his eyebrows in slight surprise at the question. "What did she tell you?"

"That you resented Jacob because he neglected you for his work, and you argued the whole time when he was there because he tried to turn you into a person you weren't. He wanted you to join the military and follow in his footsteps and you didn't want that. You blamed him for your mother's death. And you were at almost exactly the wrong age for all of that shit to happen to you."

"That sounds about it in a nutshell."

"And everyone gets tarred with the same brush because of it? That's seems a little unfair. You made your peace with your father, so why can't you try the same with me?"

"I don't want Sam to go through what mom went through, or your kids if you have any."

"For crying out loud, Sam's military! It's a totally different situation to your mom and dad."

"She shouldn't have to put herself second."

"I wouldn't expect her to, or want that for her."

"Easy to say." Mark did not look at all convinced.

"Maybe but, above everything else, I respect Sam. Her career is important to her, as is being her own person, and that means it's important to me too. I don't want her to become an appendage to General Jack O'Neill and I'll do a lot to make sure that never happens."

Mark considered his words seriously. After having spent a day watching him with the children he had to admit he was having second thoughts about the man, but his wariness of the military was too ingrained for him to overcome that easily. There were also other factors involved in his resentment of Jack, as would become only too apparent.

"You knew dad, didn't you?" he asked, "What did you think of him? How'd you two get along?"

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm damned whatever I say?" Mark had the good grace to laugh at that comment and Jack thought maybe he had a sense of humor lurking in there after all. Given time, perhaps he could get through to him.

"What did I think of Jacob? I miss him, a lot. He was tough and gruff but he was a good man. We argued like cat and dog sometimes, probably because both of us wanted to be the cat or dog at the same time, and he could be baffling occasionally, but I respected him. And Sam… she cared about him and loved him, despite his faults. I think a little bit of that rubbed off on me. I was fond of him, I guess."

Mark nodded silently, contemplating those words. "What did he think of you?"

"How the hell should I know? Ask Sam."

"I did."

"Ah! And she said…?"

"Best I can figure it, that the feeling was mutual. That he would have approved of your marriage, and blessed it."

Jack grinned at that. "I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing in your eyes but, if that's what he thought, then it means a lot to me and makes me proud. He was one heck of a guy."

"Sam used those same words about you."

"She did? Gee…" Jack said with a shy smile and Mark was amused by Jack's embarrassment. "I suppose she wouldn't be marrying me unless she thought so. I appreciate how lucky I am to have her, Mark. She's a great woman, a genius and beautiful with it, and I'm just plain old Jack O'Neill. If you're wondering what she sees in me then join the back of the queue that's waiting to find an answer to that question because I'm first in line."

Mark warmed to Jack's modesty, believing it genuine. He might resent the military for what he believed it had done to his family but he knew that not just any old person got to be a General in the US Air Force. You had to have your wits about you. His sister's fiancé must be an intelligent man. Sam would never marry someone stupid and the Air Force wouldn't have rewarded him with that rank if he were.

"Look Jack, I'm not an unreasonable man," Mark said, "although I guess I probably seem that way to you. Maybe you're right that I've been acting like an ass and haven't given you a chance but I have more reasons than the fact that you're a general in the USAF."

Suddenly the light dawned on Jack; something he hadn't considered and had almost forgotten about.

"Pete Shannahan. Is that what all of this is about?" Jack asked.

"Pete's a good friend of mine. Sam was going to marry him before you came along."

"Wait a minute, I've always been there. If you don't mind me saying, it was him who came along," responded Jack, and Mark's eyes widened.

"Were you and Sam… while you worked together…?" Mark said in shock.

"No! For crying out loud, that's not what I meant. But there always was something special between us. We never acted on it, we locked it away, but it was always there; a lot of years. I never liked Pete that much, although I was biased I guess, but I never deliberately tried to steal Sam away from him. I want you to know that. If I got between them then it was because I was already there."

"If she was so special to you then how come you were prepared to let her marry Pete?" Mark asked curiously, needing more from his sister's fiancée.

He'd been thrilled when he'd heard about Sam's marriage plans with his old friend and very pissed when they'd split, particularly after he found out about her relationship with Jack O'Neill. Naturally he assumed that O'Neill was responsible for breaking his friend's heart, but maybe it wasn't in the way he had imagined.

Mark was willing to concede that might be the truth of it. Frankly, he had avoided the subject with Sam after they'd had a huge row about it not long after she'd dumped Pete. Obviously, he'd been on Pete's side, which had caused trouble with Sam that he'd thought was best left alone, so he didn't really know her side of the story. Maybe he should ask.

"She made a choice, Mark, and I respected it, however crap it made me feel. I told you, she's her own woman and I value that very much."

Mark nodded, pleased with that reply and beginning to think he'd badly misjudged O'Neill. He'd let his prejudice get in the way and that was unfortunate.

"What happened?" Mark asked.

"I don't really know. You should ask Sam. One minute she was engaged and making wedding plans, the next minute she'd called it off. It took a while for us to get around to doing anything about the way we felt. I thought… I thought I'd lost her, but I hadn't. That makes me a very happy man."

Mark noted the tinge of sadness in his eyes at the memory of his imagined loss. It was so clear that Jack loved Sam very much. Jack's body language spoke loudly of it, both now when she was absent and earlier when he'd watched them together. Sam was obviously nuts about him too.

"I'm not the kind of man who can't admit when he's wrong, Jack. I'm not sure yet whether I'm wrong or not, but I figure that I can make an effort, especially after what you've said. I just want to know that you'll look after my sister and make her happy."

"I'll try my damnedest. There are never any guarantees in life, Mark, but I would never do anything to hurt Sam."

"Can't say fairer than that."

Jack stood and offered his hand to Mark, who took it and shook. "Okay. Thanks."

"Maybe it should be me thanking you for stopping me from being a total jerk," Mark replied. Jack smiled and nodded, turning to the door.

"I'll leave you in peace now."

After he'd left, Mark spent a while mulling over what Jack had said. The combination of Jack's occupation and Pete Shannahan had made him dislike the man before they even met. Now Jack had spoken up and he understood a little more about the man he had to admit that that he kind of liked him. After that, the atmosphere in the household rose to considerably above freezing.

Although Jack told her nothing about his conversation with Mark, Sam certainly couldn't miss the thawing between the two men, which was apparent immediately Mark left the study and rejoined his family.

Sam couldn't wait for the chance to ask her brother about his sudden change of attitude and took the first opportunity early next morning. Mark was beginning to think he would never get any time alone in his study! Sam sat on the same stool that Jack had the previous day, a mug of coffee in her hand.

"Jack didn't tell you about our little talk?" he responded to her question.

Sam stared at him with surprise. "Um, no he didn't. When did that happen?"

"Sometime yesterday."

"Oh!"

"I think he was trying to tell me not to act like a jerk. He didn't want to see you get hurt Sam, and I appreciate that. You're my sister and I want you to be happy. I guess I hoped you were going to be happy with Pete and I was pissed when you dumped him, but if it's Jack who makes you happy then I figure I should make an effort to get to know the guy and not judge him until I do."

"You resented Jack because of Pete?" she asked as, like Jack, the thought hadn't really occurred to her.

"Pete's my friend."

"How is he?" she asked, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"Fine, Sam. Took him a while but he's okay."

"I hope he is. I never meant to hurt him. I really thought we could be happy and I was wrong. But if you think it was Jack's fault that we split up then that's not true. He never tried to break us up, although he could have. I don't think he truly understood that he could have though. He was willing to let me go as long as I was happy, regardless of his own feelings. I think that's pretty damned great, don't you? "

Mark regarded her silently for a while, pondering what to say, and Sam took advantage of the short pause in their conversation to sip her coffee.

"Jack makes you happy, doesn't he?" Mark asked, partly a rhetorical question.

"Yes, he does. I've loved him for a long time, Mark. We couldn't do anything about it and I believed we never would. I thought I'd moved on with Pete but I hadn't. It took me a long time to accept that I hadn't and, once I knew it… well I couldn't marry one man while I was in love with another could I? I loved Pete, but not like I love Jack. We've built up a strong bond over the years and that can never be broken."

Mark smiled. "Then I should be happy for you, I guess."

"Jack's a good man. One of the best. One day you'll know that. Don't get me wrong, he isn't perfect, far from it, but no one is, are they?"

"Except for Jo," Mark said with a smile.

"There's an exception to every rule," Sam chuckled and they sat in amiable silence for a short time, until she spoke again.

"You know when dad died, Jack was there for me and that's when I started to open my eyes to the truth that had always been there, just like he was and forever will be. He didn't say much, he doesn't always need to, but knowing that he was there… it was just… I don't know, soothing I guess. There was a lot going on at the time, it was a pretty difficult period in my life, but I knew that even if Jack and I never got together in the future, I couldn't marry Pete. It would have been a bad marriage. I would have tried, and probably failed. It was the wrong thing to do."

"And marrying Jack is the right thing to do?"

Sam met his eyes, her blue orbs burning with truthful intensity. "Absolutely the right thing to do. Will you give me away, Mark?"

Now seemed a good time to ask, while her brother seemed more open minded towards Jack. She could see the question both surprised and disarmed him.

"Um, what?" he said. "Give you away? Wow, Sam, you really want that after I've been such an idiot?"

"I'd really like you to. Who else now dad's gone? You're my brother."

"There's always Uncle Irving," he joked and Sam laughed. Uncle Irving was a big adorable bear of a man and the family clown. She loved him dearly but he so wasn't the right man for the job. Mark was.

"So?" she pressed.

"I'd be honoured to give you away, Sam."

"I, um, even though I'm marrying Jack?"

"He's growing on me," Mark replied with a small smile.

"I'm so glad. I'll marry him with or without you, Mark, but I'd so much prefer it was with you."

"Okay. I'd love to Sam. I won't let you down, I promise."

"Thanks. That makes me very happy."

She placed her coffee on a bookshelf and got up, moving towards her brother, and he rose from his plush leather chair to pull her into his arms for a hug, his face plastered with a big grin.

"So, what did you two talk about?" she asked curiously.

"This and that. He told me he respected you and your career and I believed him. That kind of started to win me over. And he's been so great with the kids. You gotta find something likeable in that." His tone was jocular.

"He used to have a son, Charlie. He died a long time ago. I'm thinking he would have been about 20 years old now. I guess Jack must think that quite a lot. I know he thinks about him although he doesn't mention him much. He loves kids, and they always seem to love him too."

"He lost his son? That's awful. No parent should have to go through that."

"Please don't mention I said anything, Mark. Jack's an intensely private man."

"Sure I won't. Are you planning to have kids?" Mark asked and Sam pulled away from him, sitting on the stool apparently ill at ease, looking down at the floor.

"We haven't really talked about it. Maybe I'm getting too old."

"Crap! There are lots of mothers your age."

"I don't know Mark. I want a child but… I don't know." She looked up at him and was chewing on her bottom lip.

"I know I don't see it from a mom's perspective but you can't believe what it's like to be a parent until you are one, Sam. Maybe you should talk to Jo about it. And you definitely need to talk to Jack before you marry him. If you don't want to and he does it could cause all kinds of problems."

Sam regarded him seriously, obviously deep in thought. Eventually she responded. "It's not that I don't want to…" Nodding as her thoughts wandered, she added, "Okay, I'll think about it."

Jack cursed when his cell phone rang after they went to bed that night. Sam was none too happy either as she had been about to ask Jack about his conversation with her brother. As soon as he started speaking Sam rolled her eyes, knowing who it was: Daniel Jackson. The man always did have crappy timing. She had a bit of fun trying to imagine what Daniel was saying at the other end as Jack spoke at hers.

"For crying out loud, it's late! Can't this wait until the morning?"

"Who am I? Your favourite agony aunt?"

"If you'd rather study rocks than spend some time with Francine Butler is that my problem?

"Well buy her some flowers, for Christ's sake."

"I don't think you need to go that far, Daniel. Don't over play it."

"Well, as it happens I have a very hot fiancée to take care of. Know what I mean?" he said, winking at Sam who was giggling by the time Jack finished the call. Jack flopped onto the bed beside her.

"Oy! He calls me, of all people, for advice about his love life? Is the guy nuts?" Sam was still giggling as he spoke.

"Maybe he thinks yours is so great that you can give him a few tips," she commented with a wry smile that made Jack grin broadly.

"You might have something there," he kissed the tip of her nose, "although I figure he'd be better off asking you how to deal with an irate woman."

"So what's he done?"

"Got carried away studying some artefact or the other, you know how Daniel is. Anyway, he missed his flight to DC. Actually he missed a few flights."

"How late was he turning up at Francine's?"

"24 hours."

"Oops."

"You could say that." Jack looked at her with suppressed mirth and when she started giggling again he couldn't help but laugh along with her and they ended up near bursting with hilarity. It was made worse when they tried to shush each other so as not to disturb her family, who were all safely tucked up in their beds, and they were unable to stop themselves from cackling for a good few minutes.

"So Francine was pissed, I take it?" Sam asked when they'd eventually calmed down.

"Oh yeah!" Jack grinned, "Daniel's in the dog house alright. You know, I can't get used to the idea of those two as a couple."

"You think it's serious?"

"I don't know, Sam, it hasn't been going on for that long has it? But if it continues for long enough we might be forced to go out on a double date." He pulled a face, which started Sam off giggling again.

"Shhh…" he said with a chuckle and, to stop them both laughing, Jack kissed her, which was a bit of a disaster given that they were both shaking with laughter so their teeth knocked together. In the end Jack held his hand over Sam's mouth until she calmed down again.

"We are nasty, cruel people," she said, "after all it's our fault they got together in the first place. More precisely, your fault.

"Who would have imagined he'd actually start seeing her? I thought I was doing him a favor."

"You probably were. If you stopped trying to avoid her you might find out that she's a very nice woman."

Jack pondered that remembering that he had been enjoying her company before Daniel turned up at his place, even if he'd needed to fight her off. He decided silence was the best policy on that one given Sam's jealous reaction to Francine, which had surprised him. He shrugged so Sam continued.

"You suggested he give her some flowers? Sheesh, you men always think you can buy your way into our hearts with a few pretty roses, or something."

"Well we can, can't we?" he said with a wink. "He was talking about getting her jewellery. That's a little over the top don't you think?"

"Jack! Gee, you men know nothing. Hand me the phone."

"What?"

"The phone, Jack."

Startled, he gave her his phone and Sam called Daniel.

"Daniel, it's Sam," she said, "give her the jewellery and the flowers." Then she hung up leaving one surprised Daniel Jackson and a highly amused Jack O'Neill in her wake. "Okay, let's try to forget Daniel Jackson. What were you saying about a hot fiancée?"

She puckered her lips suggestively and the couple made love as quietly as possible, once again wary of her family close by. Their earlier hysteria still bubbled way too close to the surface and they were unable to stop their lovemaking also turning into laughter fest, although they ensured the laughter was quite. It made for an interesting sex session, which was playful and deeply fulfilling. Afterwards, she lay propped up on an elbow facing Jack and asked about his conversation with Mark.

"Guy's talk," he said and tried to change the subject. When she pressed him he added, "just be satisfied that we've called a truce."

"Seems to me that it's way more than a truce. I asked him if he'd give me away at the wedding and he agreed."

"He did? That's great!" he said, grinning and kissing her hair. His hand reached to stroke her exposed arm with a feather light touch, "You figure that's a good sign?"

"Sure, Jack. Apparently, you're growing on him."

"He said that?" Jack queried, looking surprised and pausing his caress.

"What did you say to turn him around?" Sam asked, moving to lay her head on his chest and draping an arm over his belly. Jack took her hand in his, running his other fingers over her cheek and through her hair.

"He didn't tell you?"

"Kind of, but I think there was more to it."

"If he didn't tell you, how can I? I have no idea what he's thinking do I?"

"That's why I asked about your conversation."

Jack shrugged but said nothing and Sam sighed and rolled her eyes in frustration.

"Sometimes you are so infuriating, Jack O'Neill!" she said, shifting again, this time to sit up and look up at his face.

"Like I said, it was a guy thing. You wouldn't wanna tell me all about your girl's stuff, would ya?" He pulled a teasing face.

"Only because it would bore you silly," she chuckled.

"That's not the point."

"Okay, Jack. Have it your way," she pouted truculently.

"Don't go all huffy on me. Give me a hug? Pretty please?" Jack pulled his soulful eyes look on her and she couldn't resist. With their heads close together they wrapped their arms around each other. Having canoodled for a while, Sam thought that maybe the time was right to talk to Jack about kids. Mark was right that they should tackle it up front.

"Do you want children, Jack?" she asked bluntly.

"I, um… do you?"

"I asked first."

"Of course, if you do."

"Forget what I want, Jack. What do you want?"

"I love kids, you know that, and I'd love you to be the mother of mine, but first and foremost I want you. If you don't want any children I can live with that."

If Jack was honest, he wasn't sure how to take this conversation and, although he would have loved another child, it wasn't necessarily one of his expectations. He could handle them being childless but it hurt a little to think that Sam might not want to bear his children. Jack tried to hide that thought, wondering exactly what she was thinking. The conversation might not mean what he imagined. There was no way he would pressurise her into having kids if she didn't want any so it was probably a moot point anyway. However, he was a little confused.

"You mean that?" Sam was searching his face, trying to find the truth of it.

"Sam, to lie about something like that would only cause trouble later. Sure I'd love us to have kids, although I guess I wouldn't mind you to myself for a while first." He kissed her cheek tenderly.

"Maybe I'm too old, or maybe I can't conceive, what with all the crap that's happened over the years. If you want kids and I can't have any… that wouldn't be fair to you."

Was that what worried her? In a strange way, Jack felt a sense of relief.

"You think I want to go find another woman to fall in love with so I can procreate?" he asked with an amused and quizzical expression.

"Well, put like that… I guess it sounds pretty stupid."

"No, not stupid. But if that's what I wanted I could have gone and done it years ago, couldn't I?"

"I guess so."

"Sam, how do you feel about having a child? Tell me."

"I don't know. Yes, I do. Of course I want to have our baby, Jack, but…" she fell silent and Jack tried to find answers in her eyes.

"I promise I'll still marry you even if you don't want my baby, Sam," he said with a small smile, thinking that he was getting too old to be a dad so why fret about it? Jack wanted to jolly Sam out of whatever dark place she seemed to have gone to. "And if you do, well that's good too. I just want to marry you and live with you for the rest of my life. That will do for me, Dorothy. Mr Scarecrow is a man of simple tastes."

"It's not a matter of not wanting your baby. I've just… never been that good with babies."

"So you don't want a baby?"

"Of course I do!"

"Seems to me that you're in two minds about it. What made you bring this up now?"

"Mark. He asked me about us having kids and it occurred to me that we never really discussed it. Shouldn't that be something you talk about before you get married?"

"I guess so. What are you afraid of, that you don't want one or you can't have one?"

Uncertainly, she paused to give his question some thought and Jack desperately wanted to know what she was thinking but failed to read her. After a while she sighed.

"Both, I think," she looked into his eyes and was met by typical Jack O'Neill detachment. The man could be so exasperating! "I really need to know how important it is to you Jack."

"I told you… you don't believe me, do you?"

"Not really. You would make such a great dad. Kids love you and you are so wonderful with them. Watching you with Jude and Rick reminded me how much you love them."

"I'm getting too old to be a great dad."

"That's total crap! And it doesn't answer my question."

"I'm not sure I can answer it any differently. I'd love kids, but I love you. That's an answer."

"Is it?"

"We can be happy without kids, maybe happier."

"I'm surprised to hear you say that."

"You shouldn't be. I have good reason to have doubts about becoming a father again."

Charlie! Jack didn't need to speak his dead son's name, or to say anything more, for Sam to know what he was thinking. She gave him a gentle squeeze, smoothing his neck with her fingers.

"You can't let the past stop you having what you want," she replied in a low voice, and he was slightly mollified by her words.

"No. You're right."

He allowed her to caress his chest for a while, thinking during the brief silence. Jack realised that kids weren't everything. Sam and her feelings were way more important than his need to sow the O'Neill seed. His relationship with Sam was already a bonus that he had never expected and Jack believed he could content himself with that.

"I wonder if I've got a romantic notion in my head about having babies, Jack. I love the idea of a baby O'Neill. If I ever wanted kids you're the man whose kids I want. But the idea seems so fantastical after all these years. What if I can't deal with the reality?"

"You think anyone knows the reality of parenthood before they have kids? Of course they don't."

"You know."

"But only from my own perspective. I spent a lot of time away from home, Sam. I have no real idea of what it was like for Sara. How could I?"

"So it would be like something new to both of us."

"Kinda. Look, we don't have to make any decisions here and now."

"I don't want us to get married and then find that this will haunt us." Jack saw a look of concern on her face,

"So that's what all this is really about?" he asked.

"I think so. I just want us both to be sure that we're doing the right thing."

"Getting married?" Jack felt a small twinge in the pit of his stomach, a momentary uncertainty about Sam wanting to go through with the wedding. "I don't have any doubts about that, Sam. Do you?"

"Not a chance." Her response was instantaneous; no thinking first, which was a huge reassurance for Jack. He smiled, his hand brushing through her hair tenderly.

"Then what else matters? Whatever happens, I'm never going to regret marrying you."

"How do you know?"

"I just know. You trust me don't you?"

"Absolutely."

"Then believe me when I tell you that we'll be fine. I'll live with it Sam. Kids, no kids; whatever. I know how important your career is to you."

She smoothed his cheek with her fingertips. "I won't let my career stand in the way of us having kids, Jack."

"Then what is it?"

"Just the idea of having kids, I guess. It's a little scary. And I don't want to get myself too caught up in the notion of having them because if I can't then I'll just be so disappointed, and so will you."

"Disappointed in you? Never."

"That's sweet Jack, but I don't want you to end up regretting anything about marrying me. And don't say you never will because no one can truly make that promise."

"Leave the cynicism to me for crying out loud. That's my area of expertise," he commented with a wry smile.

"Is that how it sounded? I didn't mean it to. I'm just… thinking."

Jack sat bolt upright, surprising Sam, and he pulled his legs around and sat facing her.

"If it bothers you then we could get tested."

"Tested?"

"You know… fertility tests, check to see if we can. Then you'll know for sure and can decide based on facts and not speculation."

"Both of us get tested? Jack you're insane!" she reacted, with a slightly nervous laugh.

"Only insanely in love with you," he said, chuckling when she pulled a face and then continuing more seriously, "Look, if there's a problem we won't know if it's you or me, will we? So it makes sense for both of us to get tested."

"What if it is me?" Sam looked a little bit worried about that idea. Finding out for certain seemed so final. "I'm beginning to wish I'd never said anything."

Jack looked at her for a moment and then propped his lanky frame against the bed head. "C'mere," he said, holding out an arm to urge her close and she willingly let him envelope her in his comforting embrace. It felt good. Jack could make almost anything seem better simply with those words and his arms around her.

"If you don't want to know we can just play it by ear. No tests," he suggested.

"I'll think about it." She kissed his chest lovingly, "thank you Jack."

"You okay baby?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she replied and Jack wasn't sure whether to believe her but let the subject drop because he knew that, for now, she needed to think and not talk about it any more. Jack understood that very well because he could be the same.

"Wanna sleep?" he asked after a long pause.

"Yeah, let's get cosy."

"I'm already cosy," he replied with a broad smile.

"Cosier, then."

"I'm always cosy with you in bed next to me, Sam."

"Gee, you're being corny tonight."

"Soppy and sentimental?"

"Yeah. I kind of like it though."

"On the odd occasion?"

"Mmmm… Not something I really ever expected from Jack O'Neill."

"No, I guess you wouldn't. I can't be a hard ass all the time."

"You just pretend to be a hard ass," she teased and Jack grunted. After that, they didn't speak again but snuggled down under the covers.

The next day would be their last with Sam's family and they would move on to see Cassie and Chris. Sam was looking forward to that, especially meeting Chris at last, although now things had turned around with Mark and Jack, and the atmosphere in the house had improved, she would miss her family.

Jo decided that a huge breakfast was the appropriate way to send her guests on their way. It was a glorious day and they ate al fresco while the kids played in the yard. As they ate, the adults chatted amiably amongst themselves and Sam was thinking this was a great way to spend a morning.

"I've been meaning to ask you about that heart you've got around your neck, Sam. It's lovely," Jo said, reaching out and taking it in her hand, "where'd you get this? What sort of language is that? It looks a bit like Latin."

"Jack gave it to me for my birthday," Sam started to explain but before she said anything else, Jack jumped in.

"It's some obscure ancient language or the other that our archaeologist friend Daniel knows. He translated it for me. So only Daniel, Sam and I know what it says."

"A secret message?" Jo queried.

"Kinda like that," Jack affirmed and his eyes reached for Sam's. A small smile was exchanged and he took her hand, holding it to his lips for a kiss, while maintaining eye contact. Then he looked away, smiling shyly and keeping her hand clasped in his.

"It's our talisman," Sam added with a wistful grin, briefly thinking that it probably meant more to her than her engagement ring. She remembered every detail of the night Jack had given it to her. Since then, their lives had changed fundamentally, all because of that small gift which meant so much to both of them.

"Sure been lucky for me!" Jack grinned.

"Oh, that's so romantic, isn't it Mark?" Jo reacted excitedly, particularly after seeing Jack and Sam's response to each other.

"If you say so, sweetheart," Mark replied good-humoredly, catching Jack's eye and rolling his own around his eye sockets. Jack chuckled.

"Women!" he exclaimed.

"But you love us anyway, don't you?" Sam inserted.

"Some more than others," Jack replied and looked at her again, his eyes glinting with mirth. She squeezed his hand as a thrill ran through her from the love she saw in his face.

She felt her brother's eyes on her and, when she turned to look, he smiled affectionately and nodded, as if he approved. Things had started badly but now this was turning into a great vacation. Looking back at Jack, who had noticed the exchange of glances between the siblings, she could see that he agreed, and she so wished they could stay for a couple more days. At least she knew that, from now on, both of them would be welcome back to the Carter house, and that was very special indeed.


	24. Never Alone: Arrival

**Author's note:** I know this has been a long time coming and I want to thank those of you who have waited so patiently for a new chapter in this series to make a long overdue appearance, and who have enquired about how I am and what's happened to the series.

I'm sorry folks, I got distracted from this series and other writing when my muse became obsessed with producing my novel length dark Jack whumper "Over the Rainbow", now available exclusively on my website and DarkGate as it's an Adult Only story for many reasons.

This story is dedicated to all of you, and to those who have eagerly anticipated the first meeting between Sam and Chris.

Title: Never Alone 24: Arrival

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: su freundficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst/Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Use of mild Jack type language

Pairings: Jack & Sam

Season: 9 and beyond

Spoilers: None

Summary: A warm welcome greets Jack and Sam on arrival at Cassie and Chris' place in LA

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone 23: The Longest Long Weekend

Disclaimer: Not mine and sadly never will be. No copyright infringement is intended. Copyright © 2006 Su Freund

Additional Author's Note: This story meets the requirements of Fic Challenge 47 on the As The Stargate Turns Yahoo Group, issued on 2 August, to include the line "Do I have to spell it out for you?" and/or the word 'noose'. This includes both and, as with my other challenge fics, has not been beta read – you have been warned! I hope it was worth the wait.

**Never Alone: Arrival**

Jack, Sam, Cassie and Chris gawped at each other on either side of the door to the small apartment the younger couple had moved into together. It was Cassie who animated the frozen tableau by pulling Sam, who she hadn't seen for what seemed to be way too long, into a close hug, followed by Jack, who was also the delighted recipient of a sloppy kiss. The grin on Cassie's face dominated the compact hallway, helping to break the ice, and both Jack and Sam beamed happily in response.

This was a huge improvement on the initially icy greeting that had awaited them on arrival at Mark's house, and the pair were thrilled to feel so immediately made welcome by this way closer part of the family. They say blood is thicker than water but Jack was pondering the truth of that statement. Bullshit!

Sam glanced over at Chris, who was trying to overcome a severe bout of nerves brought on by this first meeting with Cassie's adopted mom, and arched an eyebrow at Cassie, expectant of an introduction. So what she knew who he was? There were certain formalities to fulfil.

Jack noticed Chris's awkwardness and empathised, giving him a sympathetic and knowing smile, patting him on the back and inclining his head in an attempt to indicate that everything would be fine. Chris was grateful, a slight smile appearing on his lips as Jack winked when Cassie formally introduced him to Sam.

"Cassie's told me so much about you," Chris said, his charming smile and demeanour, plus youthful good looks, causing Sam to take an immediate liking to young man. She could see what Cassie saw in the hunk, but what about his brains? Jack had told her Chris seemed to have those in abundance, and that should probably be good enough for Sam Carter, but she was a woman who made up her own mind.

"Eek!" Sam exclaimed in response, grinning nervously. Why nervously, she asked herself? Because she wanted to like the man for Cassie's sake, and she wanted him to like her too. But having adopted the role of surrogate mother to this twice-orphaned young woman, Sam thought it was her responsibility to shoulder many of its duties.

She had to take a mom's eye view, protective of Cassie just as Janet would have been. Would Janet have liked him? Jack thought so, and his opinion of people was not to be ignored. Sam had learned that lesson well over the years, despite that she believed his naturally suspicious and cautious nature could verge on excessive.

Jack laughed at Sam's reaction and patted her hand. "Don't worry, she told him a lot about me too but we got along just fine anyway, didn't we Chris?" he quipped, eyes dancing with merriment. "Good to see you again," he added, shaking the young man's hand in a more formal salutation than his earlier pat, smile and wink.

"You too, sir."

"Call me Jack, for crying out loud! Sheesh, I get enough sirs back at the office."

"Yes, sir," Chris replied, a mocking smile on his face and, once again, Jack was struck by the cheeky humor possessed by the young man. 'Who does that remind me of?' he thought good-naturedly, and his eyes glinted even brighter than before.

Noting Jack's response, Sam linked her arm with his and kissed him affectionately on the cheek. "What's that for?" he asked, surprised and turning his head to capture her eyes.

"I need a reason?" Sam responded, meeting his gaze lovingly.

"Um, well, I guess not. Just curious." He replied, arching an eyebrow, his expression bashful and boyish.

Cassie and Chris looked on, both thinking it suddenly seemed as if the pair were alone in the room, eyes only for each other, and they were mere observers who weren't meant to be intruding. Cassie had seen this before with the couple, but Chris hadn't. It made him very happy for Jack because he had taken a liking to the old general. Sam's face was filled to overflowing with love for her fiance and no observer with any heart could fail to be moved by the small moment.

"Because you're Jack O'Neill," Sam replied.

"Ah!" he exclaimed in response, his lips pursing with amusement, "that explains everything." His tone held a hint of self-deprecating sarcasm.

"I think she means you're simply divine and she's crazy about you, Uncle Jack," Cassie said, linking with his other arm and pecking the opposite cheek.

"Ya think?" he retorted with a broad grin, "and stop it with the Uncle Jack already. Oy!" Jack rolled his eyes in a mocking manner.

"Let me take your bags," Chris offered, moving to pick them up from the hallway outside the apartment. Neither Jack nor Sam protested as he brought them inside, following as Cassie propelled them towards their living room.

Cassie has warned them the apartment was small and she hadn't been exaggerating as a very brief guided tour confirmed. The apartment boasted an opulently generous living room with large picture windows and was bright and airy, so Sam could see why they had taken the place - that and the relatively low rent, no doubt. The rest of it, however, might be have been considered a little pokey and cramped.

On reflection, she realised the solitary bedroom wasn't really that small, just overly crammed with furniture, but the bathroom and kitchen area were hardly big enough to swing a cat in. Neutral shades of nothingness adorned the walls and the couple had strewn them with various pictures and posters to make it more cheery, along with bright cushions and coverings strewn over the otherwise dreary furniture.

Sam "ummed" and "ahhed" in what she hoped was an appropriate motherly manner. If she was going to play mom, she didn't want to be one of those ghastly women who run their fingers over surfaces and "tut, tut" about a layer of dust, or complain about every minor flaw. No crabby mom stuff, she vowed. So she tried to wear an air of approval and content, smiling and nodding, especially when Cassie declared how much she adored the "simply divine" living room. That was one thing they could definitely agree on.

Jack and Chris, meanwhile, kept their mouths firmly shut, as they didn't believe any comment was required of them. This was so a mother, daughter thing and they both knew better than to offer an opinion.

"So where are we sleeping?" Sam asked, thinking of the lone bedroom.

"The couch is a bed. We'll sleep there and you two can have our room," Chris replied, a slightly awkward and embarrassed look on his face, as if ashamed they couldn't offer more luxurious accommodations to their guests.

When Jack commented that they could put up in a hotel, it fell on deaf ears just as it had when he'd made that offer on the phone weeks before. Cassie was insistent they stay, and have the bedroom, so stay they would. It sure was gonna be interesting to be living on top of each other for a few days, Jack ruminated, wondering how he would come by any intimate moments with his fiancee in such close quarters. There was that not in front of the children thing to consider, after all, and it could get plain embarrassing. He reflected on that for a while, concocting a cunning plan he hoped to bring to fruition while they were there.

Chris urged the couple to sit next to each other on the comfortable couch, while he took one of the two large armchairs. Then Cassie pottered around making coffee, and opening a beer for Jack, while the others made small talk, Sam feeling slightly discomforted by Jack's total ease with Chris. She felt like the outsider in this otherwise cosy scenario and figured she had to make an effort to become an insider instead. Jack appeared to get an inkling of her feelings - who knew how? - and he reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, for which she was very grateful.

"So, have you guys thought about what you want to do while you're in LA?" Chris asked.

"It's a big place," commented Sam, "we must be spoiled for choice. But we came here to see you and Cassie so I guess we aren't too bothered."

"Speak for yourself," Jack inserted and she turned to look at him with surprise, "I have some plans."

"Oh?" Sam and Chris queried simultaneously but as Jack opened his mouth to respond, Cassie returned baring gifts of liquid refreshment. Jack took the beer from her hand and sipped, a satisfied sigh crossing his lips as he placed it down on the coffee table.

"Refreshing!" he exclaimed with a grin and Cassie wrinkled her nose. She wasn't a great fan of beer, or any alcohol, although she indulged from time to time. "Well for starters, how about recommending a good restaurant I can take you all to tonight?"

"We were going to cook," objected Cassie.

"That is if we'd actually gotten around to doing any shopping," Chris added sheepishly.

"You want to refuse my offer of a slap-up meal?"

Cassie and Chris grinned at each other. "As if we could refuse such a generous offer," Chris said charmingly. "What kind of food did you have in mind?"

"What kind do you like?"

As they relaxed and drank their coffee, there followed a long discussion about food ranging from favourite Chinese to pizza toppings, Jack's special omelette, which he promised to make for everyone while there, and preferred eating establishments.

"I am so not taking you for a Kentucky," he objected at one point. "Let's aim a little higher, huh?"

"You want highbrow food?" Cassie asked with a quizzically arched eyebrow.

"Who said anything about highbrow? Something resembling food will do just fine," Jack retorted with a teasing glint in his eye.

"There's nothing wrong with Kentucky," she responded defensively, pouting.

"If you say so, but I had in mind something just a tad more upmarket."

They discussed the merits of various eateries and concluded that somewhere relaxed would be good. Cassie was insistent she didn't want "posh nosh" and Jack was quick to assure her that this had never been his intention, briefly wondering what she would think if he took them to the restaurant where his friend Jimmy worked in DC. She'd probably be horrified; terrified she made a fool of herself or didn't have the right clothes to wear. Jack figured there was no way she'd look in the least out of place.

After a lot of debate, they decided on a local Italian that, apparently, had a certain ambience, served very good food and was somewhere Cassie considered to be in a reasonable price bracket. By that she meant something more than her and Chris would normally spend on eating out, so a special treat. Perfect! This was exactly what Jack wanted. After all, if he couldn't spoil Cassie while on vacation what the heck was he earning his over inflated salary for anyway?

"I've got another beer but we're low on coffee," Cassie piped up, looking pained. "You arrived a little earlier than we thought and we didn't get the shopping done. Not that I mind!" she hastened to add in case her words made them feel unwelcome.

"Point me to a store and I'll go get some stuff for you," Sam volunteered.

"No, you're a guest," Chris intervened quickly. "I promised Cassie I'd go. Sorry baby." He rose to his feet, leaning over to kiss her hair. "I was meant to go out ages ago," he said by way of explanation to their guests, "so it's all my fault. I'll go now." He jangled his car keys and stepped towards the door.

"But shopping's my favourite," Sam replied with a smile. "Why don't I come and keep you company?" She suggested, thinking this was a good opportunity to get Chris alone for a while for a 'get to know you better' type chat. Besides, she was determined the young couple shouldn't have to pay for anything while they were there, not if she could help it.

"Um, sure," Chris agreed nervously, guessing her intentions for the chat and hoping it wouldn't be too painful. 'This is Cassie's mom we're talking about here,' he thought, 'or as good as'. Moms will be moms. But he'd already had the dad thing with Jack so was hopeful he'd cope with it, filled to overflowing with youthful confidence.

"Great! I get Cassie to myself for a while," Jack exclaimed happily.

"We could take the rental," Sam suggested and Chris decided to give way to that demand and let her do the driving if it would make her happy. Why argue? As the pair got ready to go, Cassie slipped onto the couch to sit with Jack and he placed an arm around her shoulder, giving her a fatherly squeeze.

"Be gentle with him Sam," she teased as they were leaving.

"Don't worry, Cassie, she won't eat him alive," Jack reassured her.

"I wouldn't count on it," Sam replied in jest and Chris' nerves started to take a real hold, knocking all the youthful confidence right out of him. He so wanted to make the right impression.

The pair trundled around the supermarket feeling slightly awkward with each other. Sam had wanted these moments alone to try and get to know Chris a little better but it seemed he wasn't talking much, and neither was she except for the occasional hint about cereal preferences and the like, and a sporadic ongoing disagreement about who was paying for the trolley full of goods. The contents of the trolley grew as Sam stuffed it with the food and household items she thought would be useful for a young couple of limited means.

Chris noted there was enough stuff to last a lot longer than the few days Jack and Sam were staying with them and, realising what she was up to, reviewed the shopping again. Sam hadn't chosen nearly as much in the way of perishables as she had of other things, which ranged from cleaning products to cans of tomatoes and packets of pasta and rice with meat, vegetables and dairy produce nestling comfortably amongst them. She was stocking up for him and Cassie. Nice thought. No doubt she could afford it and he and Cassie were penniless students, so his objections to her paying became half-hearted. It was a generous and thoughtful gesture.

After Sam had paid they silently made their way to the car and loaded it up with the plentiful bags of goodies. "Wanna go for a coffee?" Chris asked out of the blue and Sam smiled amiably hoping this might be her chance to make up for the lost time.

"Sure," she agreed. "Jack and Cassie are probably deeply involved with their mutual admiration society," Chris grinned and laughed at that probably very true jest, "so let's give 'em more time to worship the ground they both walk on."

"Well Cassie sure is smitten with Jack," Chris said as they got into the car to drive to a decent little place not far away that he swore served the best coffee in LA.

"He's pretty smitten with her too. Always was. He was so great with her when she was a kid and she adored him then too. They have a special bond. But Jack is just so great with kids."

"Cassie told me he lost his son years ago. That must have been hard. Probably still is."

He noticed a small shadow pass over her face, and wondered about old wounds, but it dissipated rapidly. "I didn't know him back when that happened," she responded, feeling slightly uncomfortable about the subject matter, "but, yeah, I know it still troubles him sometimes. A parent never really gets over that loss. They just learn to live with it. He doesn't talk about it much."

"He's not the kind of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve is he?"

Sam glanced at him, turning where he indicated and pulling in to where he suggested they park the car. "He can be surprising, but on the whole he keeps that kind of thing tightly locked up."

"And what about you? You're military too. I guess you have to learn to keep it in."

"I was trained by the best of them, my dad, but emotion can conquer the best of any of us."

"Hey, that's profound," he said with a huge smile, quickly leaping out of the car in an effort to be gentlemanly and open her car door, and then leading her to a local cafe. It was hardly a luxuriant place, but the smell of coffee as they walked through the door was heavenly and the atmosphere relaxed and friendly. Sam eyed the delicious looking muffins and other sweet morsels enviously, but didn't want to spoil their dinner.

Chris waved at someone sitting at the back and, out of the corner of her eye, she saw the man wink, make a rude gesture and nod his head towards her with what was obviously intended as sexual innuendo. Chris gesticulated dismissively, steering Sam to the opposite side of the room.

"Excuse my friend. He's a jerk," he said as they sat down, "a UCLA pal. The kind you probably don't stay in touch with once you graduate."

"I know that kind. Never mind him. It'll be all over UCLA that you're having an affair with an older woman, you know that don't you?"

"Well that's kind of cool, as long as Cassie doesn't believe it." His smile was mirthful.

"Let's play up to it, shall we?" she suggested, taking Chris by the hand, and waving at the UCLA friend, pouting and smiling flirtatiously. "We'll just have to confess our sins to Cassie when we get back." She gave Chris a long lingering look and kissed the hand she held in hers. His young UCLA friend looked slightly embarrassed and turned away.

"Now why was that so embarrassing?" she wondered aloud, a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

"He probably wouldn't know what to do with it if you presented it to him on a plate." Sam laughed and the ice between them was broken at last.

While they waited for their coffee, Sam called Jack's cell to tell him they might be out for a little while and he said if she was taking a younger lover he would too, suggesting a partner swap and making both Sam and Cassie giggle with glee. When the coffee came, it was every bit as good as Chris claimed and they both visibly relaxed.

Jack was sipping on the last beer in the apartment, an arm draped around Cassie while they talked.

"I guess we should have gone somewhere this afternoon," she mooted and he shrugged.

"Here to see you, kiddo, not the California sunshine. Although it sure is great that we don't have to live in fear of rain. That's one of the cool things about California at this time of year. Washington can be so gloomy, and I'm not just talking about the weather," Jack responded, his tone turning slightly acerbic towards the end.

"Job getting you down, Uncle Jack?"

He bit back the usual knee-jerk response to Cassie's use of that honorific thinking that if that was what made her happy, so be it. She'd already grown up way too quickly because she'd had to. Who was he to push that envelope even further?

"Ack! Politics and paperwork!" was his only response and Cassie turned and kissed his cheek, eliciting a big smile.

"What's that for?" he asked.

"Because I love you," she answered with a grin, "and I for one am pleased I don't have to worry about whether or not you'll be coming home every time you go off adventuring."

He regarded her seriously, never having considered that she might feel that way about his previously dangerous job, but figuring it wasn't surprising in the circumstances. She'd lost too much already in her short life and needed some stability. It certainly put a different slant on things.

"I love you too, Cass. Always," he whispered, cuddling her closely as reassurance.

"I know," she replied and Jack thought he detected a hint of a sniffle, but when she pulled back to look into his eyes she was beaming. Clearly she had fought back those threatening tears pretty quickly. She could be a tough cookie, another thing she'd needed to learn way too young. "And it's so cool to have an uncle like you."

"Like me? Ummm… not sure I should question that statement too closely." He winked good-humouredly. Cool? Sweet!

"I'm a Jack O'Neill fan so you know I mean only good things when I say 'like you', right?"

"A Jack O'Neill fan? I'm flattered. Want my autograph?" he teased and she slapped his chest playfully.

"Oh, you…" and then after some consideration she added, "Only if you happen to have some signed blank cheques you want to leave lying around." Instead of chuckling as she had intended him to do, Jack looked quite serious.

"You and Chris are okay aren't you? Financially I mean?" he asked.

"I'm only kidding around. We're fine. We get by."

"You're sure?" he queried, wanting to assure himself of the young woman's well-being.

"We're okay. I promise."

"You just need to call…"

"I know. You're so sweet."

"Sweet?" He puckered up his nose with distaste.

"A huge huggable teddy bear, that's what you are Uncle Jack," she reiterated, kissing his cheek again and resting her head in the crook of his neck.

Jack smiled in a wistful manner, gently grasping her hand affectionately. "You are so good for my ego…"

"Not that you're perfect or anything…" she started.

"Ack! Stop already. You'll spoil all my illusions." He rolled his eyes, although Cassie couldn't see it. She knew anyway, able to picture that expression on his face as he gestured for her to stop. So she stopped.

"Sooo cute!" she exclaimed and Jack sighed.

"Sheesh! Sweet and cute? I have a reputation to consider don't ya know?"

He started tickling her, which turned into a giggly tickling contest. Cassie knew all the tricks, and they ended up heaped on top of each other laughing hysterically.

"Naughty Uncle Jack, tickling his little girl so mercilessly. Now, what would Sam say?" Cassie mocked in a childlike voice.

"Ummm… she'd probably say move over and let me in?" he replied with a chuckle.

Cassie pursed her lips and then smiled. "Yeah, you could be right at that."

Alongside its luxurious aroma, the coffee shop was a cosy, friendly place and Sam could see why Chris and Cassie might like it there. The chatter was low and there was no loud music blaring from speakers, meaning you could talk to your companion without having to raise your voice and listen without straining your ears.

It was surprising, as Sam had thought he'd opt for the sort of place she imagined a younger set would go for and started to think she should revise her opinion of what younger people might actually like instead of making so many assumptions.

Was she so out of touch? Probably. That's what came of being stuck inside a mountain all day, or living in a cloud cuckoo land that science fiction fans would give their right arms for.

The decor was simple but homely rather than chic and modern and, although they hadn't sat in one of them, there were a couple of low, comfy and frequently used looking couches as well as the real wooden tables and chairs that appeared to be well worn, but much loved.

She liked it there and determined they should bring Jack for coffee and cake before they left LA. He would so love it and would probably gorge himself sick on the different cakes and delectable sweet treats. It occurred to her that Daniel would also love this place because the coffee was superb and Sam briefly wondered how he was getting along with the fabulous Francine Butler while they were away.

The extraordinary woman seemed unexpectedly and strangely good medicine for their friend and was spending a few days with Daniel in Colorado Springs while SG-1 were on vacation time. Daniel had been freaking out about the pending visit before she'd left, fussing about his apartment and what he should do to entertain her.

Sam figured if he didn't know that by now then it wasn't for her to explain the facts of life. Francine seemed to know exactly what she wanted and it appeared that hitting the sack and having a good old-fashioned sexual romp would keep her more than happy. Of course Daniel had to intellectualise and analyse it all, just like he did almost everything. Sam thought he should just relax and enjoy it while it was on offer. He seemed happy, though, and that pleased her. Daniel deserved some joy in his life, and lots of fun.

Despite appearances, it seemed in reality there was more to the relationship than merely a roll in the hay, however, and she wished him luck with it, hoping he didn't end up broken-hearted and alone again. She still hadn't made up her mind about Francine, who was so flirtatious and over-loud one minute, and loving and kind the next. It was a conundrum. Jack agreed, also unable to fathom the woman, although he knew her better than Sam. They didn't mix a lot, Jack was generally way too busy with one thing or another, but they were neighbours after all.

"How was San Diego with your family?" Chris asked, interrupting her thoughts and playing with his coffee mug slightly apprehensively as he pondered his next words "Um, Cassie told me your brother has some issues with Jack."

Sam eyed him with surprise at his forwardness. But if he was part of the family…? Who knew for sure if he was or not? At least it was something to talk about. It bothered her that Chris seemed better at trying to get into the family act than she was at making him feel a part of it. People skills never had been her area of expertise and even now she could frequently feel like the geeky teen who had been teased about her big brain in High School.

It brought back some bad memories but also some good ones. Betsy had been one of the saviours of her life. A true friend. She pulled her thoughts together to respond to Chris' question.

"Jack won him over I think. It was pretty awkward at first but Jack can be a witty and intelligent charmer when he wants to be."

Not having known how she would react to the question, Chris appreciated her candour. "Otherwise he's a boring curmudgeon?" he quipped with a grin and Sam laughed.

"Hardly that."

"No, that he isn't," Chris agreed.

"Although he has his moments," she admitted, munching on the muffin Chris had persuaded her to have, against her better judgment. It was as delicious as it looked.

"Don't we all?"

"He seems to like you."

"Maybe that's because I like him."

"Maybe. In his head, Jack has a whole private cemetery populated by the people he doesn't like, so I guess you're one of the lucky ones," she teased.

"I figured that. What about you?" The question took her aback. Once again, Chris was displaying a forwardness she hadn't expected. It was refreshing and Sam liked it.

"Do I have a private cemetery?" she retorted but he could see by the expression on her face that she was kidding around, pleased that she felt able to.

"That too. But I…"

"I know." She smiled reassuringly. "I think I like you, so far. I hardly know you yet."

"Well, at least I seem to have made a good first impression."

Sam nodded and said nothing, taking another bite of the muffin and luxuriating in its flavour as she allowed it to melt in her mouth.

"You enjoying that?" Chris asked.

"Mmmm… it's delicious," she mumbled with her mouth still full.

"I'm glad we're getting this chance to talk."

"Me too."

"Well, that was your intention, wasn't it? That and to buy us enough groceries to last us a month!"

"Anything I can do to help a couple of impoverished students… Chris, I want you to know that if you and Cassie have any problems… money, you know… Jack and I are there."

He nodded, his smile enhancing the pleasant ambience of the cafe. "Thanks. We'll bear it in mind."

She passed him a card with all her contact numbers on it, feeling way better about leaving her adopted daughter in the seemingly capable hands of this young man.

Jack was delighted to have some time alone with Cassie and, as they mercilessly teased each other chattering about this and then that, he noticed the light dancing in her hair as her head bobbed up and down animatedly. Not for the first time, he realised what an attractive young woman she was, and marvelled at how well adjusted she seemed.

Janet had done a great job of raising her and teaching her how to respond to a world that was so utterly different to the one from which Cassie had come. It must have been extremely hard on Cassie to be suddenly thrown into such a teaming mass of apparent chaos and noise after the tranquillity of a mainly agriculturally based society.

He found it hard to imagine what a culture shock it might have been, particularly while mourning the heavy losses she had suffered, although he'd had a couple of similar, while also dissimilar, experiences in reverse, albeit for a limited period and not a lifetime. He hadn't known that for sure at the time though. But Jack had known solitude and was country wise even before he'd become stranded on Edora for three months, whereas Cassie hadn't had any concept of city. He was proud of her and so would Janet be if she'd been there to see her daughter now.

During a lull in the light-hearted conversation he noticed Cassie pucker her lips, suddenly looking quite serious, and sensed she had something on her mind. About to ask, she forestalled his question by posing one of her own.

"What do I do about Chris?"

"What do you mean?"

"If this… well… one day I might have to tell him the truth about me."

"Oh!" Crap! He had tried not to think about that day coming. "I don't know Cassie."

"Sam could tell Pete."

She saw a dark cloud momentarily mar his expression and realised this was still a sore point in his heart. That surprised her. Sure, she understood his heartache, but now he was engaged to Sam and they were getting married… Did he doubt Sam's feelings?

Cassie decided she'd need to mull that one over in her head for a while. Jack seemed such a confident man but could also be excessively self-effacing. She'd never understood why because, in her opinion, he was a great man. Not faultless, of course, but great nonetheless, so his self-doubt worried her just a little.

"Yeah, that's true," he replied. "I'll look into it, okay?" She nodded silently.

"You know we'd have to run a security check on him?" he asked.

"You mean you haven't checked him out already?" she joked with a smirk.

"Would I?" Jack responded, way too much the picture of innocence.

"Yes you would, you naughty man." Jack was relieved to see the smile remained on Cassie's face, as he didn't want her berating him for being his usual cautious self. "I know you want to protect me, but I have to live my life the way I want to."

"I know, Cassie, but it doesn't hurt to be careful."

"You are way too suspicious for your own good," she teased, wondering what Jack had dug up about the man she loved.

"Not really. It's kept me and my team alive more than once."

"I don't recall anything about that in the Jack O'Neill handbook."

"You mean I missed that one?" he said with a small chuckle.

"You most surely did."

"I guess I thought it was implicit in all of 'em."

"You're incorrigible Uncle Jack," Cassie responded with a giggle.

"I try." Jack waggled his eyebrows teasingly, his mouth scrunched up in a smirky pout.

"Another rule?"

"Yeahsureyabetchya!"

Turning serious again, Cassie knew she had to ask. "So if you dug up something bad about Chris you'd tell me?"

Jack's smile disappeared as he replied, gently clutching her hand and looking her straight in the eye. "You've got nothing to worry about except for the fact he's a man." Cassie considered that response for a while, initially uncertain whether the 'man' comment was intended as a joke.

"You mean that reputation with women thing?" she queried eventually and Jack didn't reply. "I trust him." Jack nodded and smiled affectionately.

"You love him. Love is blind. If it wasn't so obvious he's crazy about you I might thump him on the nose for taking advantage of my best girl. But I guess I kind of trust him too. Question is, do you trust him with your most secret, secret?" He was more than curious about her viewpoint on that.

She shrugged but her reply belied the carelessness. "I don't know how he might react. It's one heck of a big secret."

"It worries you how he'll react?"

"Wouldn't it scare you off if you found out your girlfriend was an alien?"

"If I didn't know about the Stargate? Maybe. But you're no more alien than I am. You just come from another planet is all. You're still Cassie Frasier."

"What if he didn't see it like that?"

"If he loves you he'll see it like that. It might be different if you pulled off your skin to reveal the lizard underneath and then ate live rats." He pulled a scary face, dropping her hand to use both of his to gesticulate taloned digits, and Cassie laughed at his clowning reference to that seminal science fiction premise. Jack had a way of making her feel better about things.

"I guess it's a bridge to cross one day, maybe, not now," she said happily, having perked up again.

"Just live your life. Enjoy! Life's too short."

"Yadda, yadda, yadda…"

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Would I?"

"Ack!" he huffed but then his eyes glistened with laughter and he opened his arms to her. "C'mere," he said, and she snuggled up to him, letting him enfold her in his soothing arms and squeeze her tenderly. "Sheesh, where's Sam with that damned beer?"

Sam was having fun people watching. There were some interesting customers in the cafe and it felt great to relax and take a good look around. At the other side of the room, Chris' university buddy kept glancing up from his corner to cast his eyes over theirs, trying to look surreptitious but failing miserably. She thought he looked both lonely and alone and fingered her pendant, thinking of Jack and those words "never alone", and how lucky and happy she was to be loved by an incredible man, never to be lonely again.

Meanwhile, two tables away from him, a skinny young girl with purple hair and an eclectic taste in clothing talked animatedly with a slightly older, smarter, short-haired man dressed in a suit and tie. It seemed incongruous and Sam wondered what the relationship between them was, trying to guess from body language. A passionate kiss between the pair settled that question, and she suppressed a titter at the sight of two such apparently incompatible people in a romantic relationship. Can't judge a book…

On the comfy couches, a cluster of friends chatted merrily, wild gestures interspersed with laughter. She figured they were probably all in their mid to late twenties, three women and two men, too old to be a group of students; perhaps locals who had been friends for years. Their playful and relaxed interactions made her smile, bringing joy to her heart.

Behind the counter, the couple who ran the place bickered amongst themselves about something, although she couldn't hear what. He was a large, florid amiable looking man with a winning smile, who tried to use that easy charm to his advantage with his partner. She was a petite brunette who grinned and blushed when he reached up his hand to briefly stroke her cheek, kissing the top of her head and then stepping away. The obviously friendly bickering continued unabated after that short pause.

Then there was the bookish woman with glasses and fair hair piled on top of her head in a knot, who sipped her coffee and nibbled on her cake without missing a beat with her reading, obviously deeply engrossed in the book and totally oblivious to her surroundings. Her table was encircled by bags of shopping and she'd obviously popped in to read and relax after a long hard day spending her probably hard earned cash.

Closer to Sam and Chris was the old scruffy but clean looking woman who mumbled to herself, grey haired head bobbing up and down as she spoke, gnarled fingers shaking as she lifted her coffee mug to her lips for a small sip before placing it back on the table and started her muttering all over again.

Briefly, Sam wondered what a total stranger would make of her and Chris as they people watched and couldn't decide if they might appear as mother and son together for a short reunion, or as older woman meeting up with her toy boy lover. She brought her thoughts and vision closer to home and eyed Chris speculatively. "So, you and Cassie… it's serious, right?"

"Is this Momma Carter coming out to play?"

"It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it," she joked to ease any tension her question might have caused.

"I've passed the Jack O'Neill test but now I have to pass yours, right?"

"I like to make up my own mind about things."

"So you should, " he replied, pausing to consider his next words. "It would be a pointless waste of time to be ashamed or regretful of my past. I've been pretty damned mean to a lot of women and I know it, but I have nothing but good intentions towards Cassie. Yes it's serious or we wouldn't be living together. It's a commitment, isn't it? But we're both young so who knows?

Sam was taken aback by this disarming response and started to feel way more at ease in Chris' company.

"Yes, you're both young. I guess that kind of bothers me a little, along with that reputation I hear you have. You don't feel like you have a noose tied around your neck?"

Chris chuckled. "A noose? No way. Do I have to spell it out for you? I love her. It's that simple. If there is a noose I'm happy to wear it." A shy and boyish expression appeared on his face, reminding Sam of Jack and the way he could disarm her so quickly with that look. Another one of Cassie's reasons for being attracted to and loving Chris became starkly apparent in that brief moment. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. It can be pretty scary sometimes."

"Oh, I so know that feeling," Sam admitted, it being precisely how she could feel about her love for Jack - wholehearted and forever. It was scary, exhilarating, warming and reassuring all at the same time. If Cassie and Chris felt even a fraction of that they were very lucky indeed to have found each other and their age was totally irrelevant. She understood that extremely well. When the lightening bolt hit, the opportunity should be grasped with both hands because it might never strike again.

"I'm blessed," Chris said, "She chose me and she could do way better." Sam smiled, suddenly feeling a good deal of affection for the younger man.

"That's what my brother used to think about Jack," she replied.

"You could do better than a general in the US Air Force? What, he wanted you to aim for First Lady?"

Sam laughed at that notion. "Mark's never been entirely unbiased about the armed forces."

"But your dad was a general, right?" He grinned and answered his own question, "I guess that's why, huh?"

"You got that right," Sam responded, rolling her eyes in mock frustration.

"Why are families so complicated?" Chris seemed to ruminate aloud.

"Is yours?" she asked inquisitively, "you don't have to answer that."

"Isn't everyone's?" he countered and Sam realised she knew nothing about his family. Cassie had never discussed it and she wondered what she knew, allowing herself to be diverted from the subject as Chris seemed to want, but remaining curious.

She quizzed him about his UCLA courses and what he might do for a career, realising during the conversation that Chris had an acutely intelligent mind, probably as sharp as Cassie's, and this discovery pleased her. Perhaps the couple were well matched, but they were so young and it still nagged at her that they might tie themselves to each other too early in life. Dismissing the thoughts as way too speculative, she told herself they should cross that bridge… Both of them had a whole lifetime to live and it was too soon to worry about such things.

Cassie had to live that life as she saw fit and, having decided she liked Chris a lot, Sam knew she should support the decisions Cassie had made and would make in the future, and be a shoulder to cry on if she required it, or a friend she could confide in and laugh with if she needed that. As long as Jack and her were there for the young woman as surrogate parents, Cassie would be okay. She'd always have people to turn to and a place to come home to, and that was the most important thing they could provide for her.

Sam's eyes drifted to her watch and she widened her eyes with surprise. "Holy Hannah! We should go!" she exclaimed, realising they'd been sitting there talking for a lot longer than she thought. "Cassie and Jack will be getting thirsty," she joked.

Chris grinned boyishly, nodding his head in acquiescence, happy with the notion of returning to the woman he adored. A few minutes later they were back in the car and on their way home.

"Gee, a man could die of thirst in this place," Jack jested, playing with his long empty beer bottle.

"I'm sure they'll be home soon. I've got orange juice, or water," Cassie responded with a smile, thinking Jack probably wasn't so much thirsty and wishing his fiancee was there with them. She wanted Chris home too.

"Orange juice or water? Sheesh!" Jack declared, puckering his nose up with evident distaste and causing Cassie to grin inanely.

"Missing Sam?" she queried, noting the small smile on Jack's face at the mention of her name.

"Missing? No. Wanting? Yes," he replied without meeting her eyes.

"I guess you and Sam spend way too much time apart, huh?"

"Way too much. But it's necessary." His expression was slightly wistful and Cassie wondered what he was thinking.

"Ever thought about retiring?"

He looked up at her sharply. "Many, many times. Sam won't let me. She has this crazy notion that I'm still needed." He grinned shyly and Cassie reached for his hand.

"Then you probably are," she commented, adding, "Sam loves you, she always did. Pete was just a foolish aberration. Never doubt that Uncle Jack." He looked at her askance, eyebrows knitting together with surprise and what appeared to be slight consternation.

"What made you say that?"

"Just an impression." When he said nothing, simply staring at her with a faintly flabbergasted expression, she continued. "When I mentioned his name earlier you seemed… I dunno; something flittered across your face is all."

"I am so not going to discuss this with a teenager," he replied, withdrawing his hand from hers and finding somewhere else for his eyes to focus.

"Does my age really matter that much?" she asked, her eyes opening wide as if a penny had just dropped. "Does the age difference between you two bother you?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" he exclaimed too quickly and vehemently for the intelligent and way too worldly-wise for her age Cassie not to pick up on his underlying concern about that issue.

"That reaction says it all, Uncle Jack."

He looked up again, surprised that such a young girl could be that astute. Jack knew he was pretty good at hiding, but obviously not from Cassie.

"You know me too well. It's kind of irritating," he said, but she noticed the gleam in his eye. "Okay, you want a confession? Of course I'm too old for her but we love each other and want to be together. If we get a few special years… that's good enough for me."

"And me. But that being too old for her stuff is nonsense anyway."

"Perhaps. I just want to make her happy," he asserted.

"And you will, you do." All Cassie had to do was picture the look in Sam's eyes when she watched Jack. It was so obvious and always had been. "She was never as happy with him as she is with you."

"Let's not talk about him." Jack still didn't really like to remember how wretched he had felt inside about Sam and Pete, despite that it had been over for a long time and all that had happened since. He had wanted to be happy because he thought she was. As it turned out, she wasn't and that had turned out being what made him happy. He couldn't have asked for a better twist of fate and no way in hell was he missing his chance, even with some of his misgivings bubbling beneath the surface.

"You probably didn't know she had a crush on me when she was a teenager, did you? Kind of makes a guy feel old."

Taken aback by that revelation, Cassie gasped, eyes widened in shock. "She did? You knew each other?"

"Not really. We hung out at the same base for a while."

"But she had a crush?" Cassie was agog with wonderment.

"You tell her I told and… don't tell her."

"I promise." She considered what he'd just said, tossing it around in her head for a while before continuing. "But that just means it's kismet with you two. Don't you get it? Oh, it's so romantic!" She faked a swoon but Jack knew she really did think it romantic. She was a girl. Go figure!

He was saved from more 'true confessions' by the return of the missing pair and breathed a sigh of relief when Cassie got distracted by Chris, and the numerous shopping bags. He loved her dearly, and liked spending time alone with her, but her directness and ability to see into his heart and make him open up could be unnerving to such a private, guarded man as Jack.

The arrival the others prompted some kissing and cuddling before they relaxed with more drinks and then got ready to go eat. As ever, Sam looked totally stunning, dressed as she was in a casual light brown suit with a soft blue blouse that seemed the perfect combination. And, also as ever, Jack's doubts faded when in her company because her feelings for him were so clearly written in her face and reactions.

He so loved that about her - that and many other things. It was a certainty that she made him happy and it unquestionably appeared this feeling was mutual.

"Excuse me Chris," said Jack, placing an arm around the shoulders of each woman, "both these young women are mine. You're on your own kiddo."

"Ack! That's just plain greedy," Chris replied with a joking pout and Jack grinned, letting go of Cassie and allowing her to be swallowed up in her paramour's arms.

"Okay, let's go eat!" Jack declared, a shit eating grin lighting up his handsome features. He was looking forward to spending these next few days in the company of this delightful couple, but even more than that, he eagerly anticipated spending more time with Sam. Every minute of every day for the rest of his life.


	25. Never Alone: The Man with the Plan

Title: Never Alone 25: The Man with the Plan

Author: Su Freund

E-mail: su freundficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Website: www ficwithfins com (insert . instead of spaces in the address)

Category: Angst/Romance

Content Level: Age 13+. An Adult Only version of the story can be read on my site at the address above

Content Warnings: Language and sexual situations

Pairings: Jack & Sam, Cassie and Chris

Season: 8/9

Spoilers: Solitudes and general spoilers for S8

Summary: Picture a darkened sky with stars glistening reflectively over an expanse of lapping water… "Who'd have thought curmudgeonly old General O'Neill would have so much romance in his heart?"

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone: Arrival

Status: Continuing series

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2006 Su Freund

Author's Note: Thanks very much to Livi for all the information about and insight into LA, one of her former homes, and checking I hadn't made any ridiculous errors. Any of those that remain are entirely my own.

**The Man with the Plan**

The greater metropolitan LA area is a place of such mind-blowing vastness that even the most sophisticated alien might be impressed by its size. Or not. Compared to the enormity of space, of course, it is probably smaller than a single atom that's been split a zillion times, but compared to a lot of other metropolises on Planet Earth, it's pretty huge.

LA is megalopolis, 90 miles across and with a population of over 13 million. The city limits themselves house around 3 million, which probably wouldn't seem like so many if you came to think about it, but the metropolitan area is way bigger and includes the County of Los Angeles and those many cities and places that grew to form what has come to be known as "El-Lay". So many of these are there that one side of the street might be LA and the other might be Beverley Hills, with an entirely different government and almost anything else too. Cross the street and you are literally in a different city.

So vast is the place that the average visitor has little hope of seeing the entirety of it, or even a fraction of its entirety. Not that the average visitor would want to do such a thing as there are many places such a visitor might find it wise to avoid at all costs. As an urban community, LA is full of contrasts, comprising the good, the bad and the downright ugly - seriously ugly: the ridiculously wealthy and the extremely poor; the givers, the takers, the lawmakers and the lawbreakers. It is a place of many extremes, and everything in between.

Jack and Sam might not be considered the average visitor. They'd crammed a lot into their visit already. There was no way they were going to attempt exploring even the teeniest percentage of the vastness that was LA. They were on vacation, for crying out loud, not an expedition. And their primary purpose for being there was to see Cassie and Chris, although that didn't mean they couldn't have some time alone. They were getting time alone right now, and it felt kind of good, and romantic.

Picture a darkened sky with stars glistening reflectively over an expanse of lapping water and a trail of bright shimmering lights curving round like a crescent moon to meet the shadows of the night. That's where Jack was now, driving along the Pacific Coast Highway with Sam's head resting on his shoulder. With the top down and the wind in their hair they were a near perfect representation of a couple in love – LA style.

The PCH, as the natives call it, skirts around the ocean and at night, which it was, you can see the lights of Santa Monica Bay. The lights glittering around the bay shine into the night like a circle of bright pearls, affectionately called the Queen's Necklace. Jack, who might at first glance seem to be a pragmatist, had romance in the root of his soul. This moment had not happened by chance. He'd driven this way specially. Sam's head on his shoulder, hair blowing in the breeze, simply added to the illusion of romance.

"It's beautiful, Jack," Sam said, turning her head to kiss his cheek and raising it from the comfort of his shoulder to smile. "Very romantic."

"Isn't it?" he replied rhetorically, returning her smile and feeling smugly satisfied with himself for bringing her there.

"Who'd have thought curmudgeonly old General O'Neill would have so much romance in his heart?" she added with a teasing smirk.

"Huh! Less of the old if you don't mind," he objected with a chuckle and she squeezed his arm affectionately.

"You sure meant it when you said you had a few ideas for things to do in LA."

"I made myself busy checking it out before we came."

"You're not busy enough already?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Hey, I'm only a general. All the real work gets done by the little folk, like you," he joked and Sam's face broke into a broad grin.

"You are a wicked man, Mr Scarecrow."

"I try my best. You're not exactly an angel yourself, Dorothy."

"That's because my ex-CO was such a bad influence."

"Yeah?" His lips curled up at the edges and small dimples appeared on his cheek. Sam reached a fingertip to brush that cheek, smoothing along the dimples, and Jack briefly turned his lips to kiss her fingertips before forcing his eyes back to the road. "We're gonna have to exchange a few words, me and him."

"Good luck with that," Sam retorted with a giggle on her lips, "he's a very difficult man."

"So I've heard." Jack gave Sam a sideways glance and her bright smile made his heart flip. She still held that power over him and, sometimes, Jack found this fact truly awesome. For a very long time, he'd had to hide and suppress it, but not anymore, and that was even more remarkable. Jack had never believed this day would come, now here it was, one in a long line of many such days that he hoped would continue forever. "Yep, awesome," he muttered.

"What?" Sam asked, not sure she'd heard correctly.

"Did I say that out loud?" Jack quipped, but was thinking maybe he could die a happy man after all, something underserved he hadn't believed likely to happen. Sam loved him and they were going to be married. Awesome. Yeahsureyabetchya! Jack whooped out loud and Sam was taken aback.

"Jack? You okay?"

"Way more than okay – happy."

"Happy?"

"I love you, babe. You love me back. Ergo, happy."

Sam leaned over to kiss his cheek and lay her head on his shoulder once more. "Me too," she agreed with a murmur. Jack opened up the engine and started to drive faster. "Whatchya doin'?" she asked, using a favoured Jack O'Neill phrase, one of the many she'd started to mimic, albeit subconsciously.

"Getting you away from all this. Trust me, I'm a general in the US Air Force."

"Okay, I can do that," she replied, letting her mind drift and reflect on the last few days. Her future husband could be so full of surprises. As usual, he'd had a plan, or actually a few plans, although he'd failed to fill her in on any of them.

Although the Disney Concert Hall was the newest place to be, an impressive looking ultra modern building with the reputation for having perfect acoustics in every seat, Jack's heart hankered for the Hollywood Bowl with its much longer history as part of the lifeblood of LA. Jeez, The Beatles had even played there, as had most famous musicians and singers over the years.

One of the beauties of Jack's position in DC was he got to know a lot of influential people. Having many friends of friends of friends meant he could pull in a few favors when required. In Jack's humble opinion, a concert at the Bowl, particularly when it might be a once in a lifetime thing, should be done in style. For him, this meant special seating, preferably in a box close to the front rather than the more uncomfortable wooden benches further back, and special food served before the concert.

Getting a good box at the Bowl was a difficult trick to pull off. There were waiting lists and pecking orders to consider. Nevertheless, like all good magicians, Jack managed to swing it. Friends of friends of friends - God love 'em!

Cassie and Chris were suitably impressed and enthusiastic, as they knew how hard such a box was to come by. Sam was thrilled, but had no real idea of how much of an impressive feat Jack's coup de grace was. That was until Cassie and Chris told her, in tones of awe and appreciation.

To some extent, the concert itself didn't much matter. It was the place and the atmosphere – just being there up front and centre with one of the better views in the house, and some of the best food money could buy.

"Oh god, wait until we tell everyone!" Cassie squealed excitedly, but pulling herself together very quickly to appear calm and collected as if she might do this kind of thing every day of her life.

Jack regarded her with an indulgent smile. She was growing up to become a beautiful and sophisticated woman and pleasing her was something that gave him a huge amount of satisfaction. He considered her as the daughter he'd never had and believed she should be spoiled rotten whenever possible.

Much to Sam's regret she discovered that people don't dress up for the Bowl. She'd packed a slinky silvery grey dress just in case they found the right occasion. Perhaps it was the right occasion, in Sam's opinion anyway, but the dress definitely wasn't the right thing to wear. A more casual look was the norm, and the more expensive the better, even if you did look like you were going to the Super Bowl, not the Hollywood Bowl. At least that was what Sam muttered to herself as she cursed a missed opportunity to wear the dress.

She had packed clothes to fit almost any occasion and knew her long silky and clinging silvery grey dress enhanced the contours of her body perfectly and showed most of her bare back, which Jack would have considered very alluring. Sam wanted to show off and was denied the chance. So instead she wore a simple blue dress that flattered her breasts and revealed her cleavage enticingly.

His eyes had popped out appreciatively upon seeing the heavenly apparition of Sam in the dress, which he thought was as sexy as hell. He couldn't imagine a time might come when he wouldn't be proud of escorting this woman on his arm, and be the envy of men everywhere they went. What a very lucky man he was.

Jack was reminded of how much he adored her and this turned him to thinking about their wedding and wedding plans, none of which had been agreed, not even a date. He determined to get her alone for that discussion very soon.

Cassie looked superb, and every inch the young chic adult, in the expensive designer label jeans and top borrowed from Sam's seemingly magic suitcase. How Sam packed everything in was a wonder that would never cease to amaze Jack, but she appeared to have a knack of conjuring almost anything required from its depths.

It wasn't the first time he'd likened her bag to that of Mary Poppins and Jack suspected it wouldn't be the last. This led his train of thought onto honeymoons and how much fun he would have taking every opportunity to remove the vast quantity of clothing she'd probably end up packing, no doubt after a few shopping trips. A dream come true for both of them – her buying them and him enjoying an eye full and then stripping them off - as long as she didn't expect him to go clothes shopping with her. The very thought was enough to make his brain hurt. Ack!

However, the notion of honeymoon made him smile secretively and decide the whole wedding discussion thing had to take place very soon. He longed for this woman to be his wife and didn't want to waste much more time waiting. Jack was very aware he wasn't getting any younger. Neither was Sam. It was one thing to be engaged but to take that final step… was it too soon? The only way to find out was to ask her. No pressure, no siree!

Casually dressed she might have been but Chris gasped with surprise when Cassie appeared, jewellery, cosmetics and hair all perfectly enhancing the chic look. Jack and Sam exchanged happy glances, pleased this pair appeared to be so in love.

Although both had harboured doubts about Chris, and the tender years of both, he had managed to calm their fears with his charm and obvious devotion to the young woman they played guardians to. Both Jack and Sam liked him immensely and, if the couple were very young, what did it matter as long as they were happy? Maybe the relationship wasn't forever, who knew, but it seemed so right - for right now. Cross that bridge, as Jack might have said.

When Sam saw what Jack was wearing she thought their contrasting blues made them look like a matched set and kind of liked that. She thought he looked so sexy in his dress blues, dripping with all those medals and all, but he avoided wearing them whenever he could. He'd brought them with him especially for this evening out because he considered it was right and proper. The box he'd procured belonged to a very influential person in DC and he had to respect that.

The uniform made a point - Major General Jack O'Neill wasn't exactly without influence either. Compared to the others he felt overdressed, but you can't go far wrong with a uniform, particularly when it's overflowing with medals and has a couple of stars on the shoulder. In Jack's opinion, casual was out of the question in these circumstances. He wanted to impress.

Although the Bowl held concerts on some afternoons as well as evenings, frequently with big named artists, having done a little research Jack had deliberately chosen an evening where they could view the apparently extravagant fireworks display alongside enjoying some decent music. He very much hoped his companions would also get pleasure from the music, which was a jazz/blues style spectacular with a guest artist he'd never heard of, but whose reputation in Europe was apparently excellent, with the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra accompanying.

The following week he might have been able to procure seats for the Tchaikovsky evening, with the Los Angeles Philharmonic, but by then he and Sam would be long gone. He loved classical as well and jazz/blues so would have been happy either way. This was an occasion, not just an evening out, and Jack could take or leave the likes of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young or similarly well known rock bands who he'd noted were playing at various points during the season.

He was damned lucky to have got tickets, especially in one of the Garden Boxes, so he wasn't complaining and neither, apparently, were his companions who seemed suitably thrilled and impressed by the whole experience.

It was one of those balmy nights one might expect in LA, which happily suffered no rainy or cold weather for the longest of months. They started with a superb dinner served in their box and provided by the resident caterers, who after much consideration Jack had opted to use rather than getting something brought in from outside.

"Oh my god, is that Buttercup?" Cassie exclaimed halfway through munching on her perfectly cooked salmon fillet.

Chris and Jack both looked to where she was pointing, Jack being curious to see this woman who had vied for Chris' attentions what seemed like so long ago.

"Sure is," Chris agreed, waving to attract her attention. Jack noticed Cassie stiffen slightly and smiled at her, leaning over to whisper in a low voice.

"She hasn't got anything on you Cass, take it from a man who knows these things. You're stunning." His hand reached to squeeze hers reassuringly and Cassie smiled back weakly, thrilled by his compliment but still nervous about Buttercup's presence. She hadn't seen her old rival in quite a while and neither had Chris, as far as she knew, but this fact didn't ease the moments of self-doubt.

Buttercup waved back, looking from Chris to Cassie and their two companions curiously and, Jack thought, perhaps a little enviously. Even if he said so himself, they made a handsome quartet. Now he was even more pleased he'd decided to wear the dress blues. He looked pretty impressive, there was no doubting that.

"I guess that might be her parents," Chris commented, turning his attention back to Cassie and his food. "Ack! Who cares?" He smiled warmly at the woman he adored, pondering the ludicrous notion that some time in the distant past he'd been idiotic enough to consider Buttercup as a feasible choice of girlfriend when Cassie had been available.

He turned to whisper something in Cassie's ear and she grinned with delight, whispering back. Jack was curious but said nothing, merely noting that Cassie no longer looked discomfited by the unexpected appearance of the infamous Buttercup. He figured sweet and reassuring nothings had been exchanged and that made him a happy camper.

"Buttercup? What a name!" he exclaimed as if he'd never heard it before. "A friend from UCLA?" he enquired and Cassie smiled at him gratefully.

"Wouldn't call her a friend exactly," Chris replied, oblivious to the silent exchanges between Cassie and Jack. "An old acquaintance. Don't see her much anymore. These days I'm way too busy keeping Cassie happy." He smiled at her again and she blushed shyly.

"I'm mighty glad to hear that Chris," Jack said with a grin, turning back to the love in his own life. "Enjoying it Dorothy?" he asked quietly.

"It's perfect Mr Scarecrow. You sure know how to have a vacation." She glanced around the atmospheric Bowl happily, and then down at the diminishing food on their plates.

"Gotta do things in style sometimes. DC has certainly taught me that."

"You always had style, Jack O'Neill, you just never knew it," she replied, leaning towards him to briefly kiss the side of his neck.

"Aw shucks…" he retorted with a shy chuckle, momentarily wishing they were alone. She looked so hot in that skimpy blue number that he longed to remove it very slowly, and make love to her.

Both the concert and fireworks were as spectacular as Jack had been led to believe, and the quartet returned to the small apartment contented and replete, chatting for a while about this and that before Jack and Sam retired to the bedroom.

"That dress is… wow!" he declared, pulling her into an embrace and smoothing his hands over the nakedness of her lean, tanned back.

Sam was thrilled he liked the dress, briefly wondering how he'd have reacted to the elegant grey number. Perhaps with a double wow.

"Wow? Uh oh, I think I know what you're after you sex fiend," she responded, easing him off her gently.

"Not in the mood?" he asked with a disappointed expression, feeling slightly perturbed by her response.

"Ummm… probably, but with Cassie and Chris right next door? Not sure I can handle that." She looked at him hoping for some understanding and Jack quickly suppressed his dismay.

"Do you have to taunt me by looking so hot all the time?" he asked semi-jokingly.

"You'd prefer sack cloth and ashes?" she replied with a quizzical expression. Sam didn't want to disappoint him, indeed she enjoyed their lovemaking very much, but the idea that Cassie and Chris might hear them through the apartment walls was enough to dampen any ardour. Jack sighed and started to get undressed.

"You'd probably look hot in those too," he commented resignedly.

"You look pretty hot too, Mr Scarecrow. I'm sorry."

Jack paused to look at her and could see she was torn, and regretful. "It's okay," he said, the impulse to express his frustration briefly flittering across his face, and he continued to disrobe, feeling slightly ill at ease and needing something with which to occupy his hands.

"Jack it's got nothing to do with you, it's me," she said hastily, misinterpreting his reaction as a gesture of hurt feelings rather than frustration. "I guess I just feel edgy with them right next door. It's embarrassing. Am I being foolish?" Jack shook his head trying his best to be understanding, despite his dissatisfaction. His mind had drifted off to fantasies of making love to Sam quite a few times that night.

"We should have stayed in a hotel," he grumbled.

"You know we did the right thing coming here. Cassie so wanted us to."

"Next time I'll get us a luxury room at The Athenaeum. The Einstein Suite sounded pretty good."

Sam looked at him with surprise. In the nineteenth century, The Athenaeum had been a famous club in London, frequented by the scientific and literary community. The LA version had been modelled after that one, founded in the 1920s as part of the California Institute of Technology and envisaged as a means of stimulating friendship and the exchange of ideas among lovers of science, art, and literature. Or so it said on the blurb he'd read on-line. Sam would have been taken aback to discover how much effort he'd put into thinking about this vacation, and even more so at his use of a computer to discover much of it.

"The Athenaeum? Classy. You could have got us in there?"

"Sure. With your brains and my contacts I could probably get us in nearly anywhere." He smiled inwardly when she grinned in appreciation. "You've been to Caltech before haven't you?"

"Long time ago. It was all business."

Jack knew it was the kind of business Sam would enjoy tremendously, a meeting of genius level minds, but didn't mention the plans he'd made to sweep her off to Pasadena while they were in LA. Pasadena was one of those cities that comprised LA, home of Caltech, The Athenaeum and Jet Propulsion Laboratories, all of which a person in Sam's position could legitimately visit in her own right anytime she wanted, but she rarely got the chance. Knowing she would love all that science stuff, even if they were on vacation, Jack had made secret plans for a visit.

"The Athenaeum might have been good. I hear some of the rooms have balconies looking out over that lovely garden."

"Like the Einstein Suite," he replied tartly. Having stripped down to his boxers and put his suit away, he got into bed, watching as Sam started to slip out of her own clothes. She wasn't wearing that much to slip out of and Jack tried to occupy his mind with something other than making love to her, closing his eyes in an attempt to block out the sight of her bare flesh and sexy underwear. The vision was too burned into his psyche to simply magic away and he cursed to himself.

"Sounds like my kind of place," she said with a laugh, hanging up her dress and slipping in beside him.

"Surely does. Geniuses of the world unite," he joked, trying to act as if sex was the last thing on his mind. The more he tried not to think about it, the more he wanted it.

Sam, meanwhile, was thinking the Einstein Suite must be so named because of the great man's long sojourn at the club. It was an appealing idea to stay in a place where Albert Einstein had once lived for a couple of months. Jack noted her thoughtful expression, guessing what was on her mind. He might not appreciate that genius as much as she did, but he certainly appreciated hers, and her notion of scientist as hero. Jack wasn't that crazy about scientific types, but Sam was one geek he could happily spend the rest of his life with and Jack had every intention of fulfilling that ambition.

"Next time we come to California. I promise," he said, wishing he'd resisted Cassie's pleas to stay in their apartment, just as his gut had warned him to do. He couldn't help but wonder if the young woman had insisted out of obligation more than desire. Both couples would have been better off with more space and privacy, and he and Sam could have been living in the lap of luxury right now, with not a single qualm about having a sexual romp.

"That's a date," she responded with a smile. "Wanna snuggle?"

"Mmmm… yes please… perfect." She moved closer and he swept her into his arms.

"Oh, Jack I-I…" she stammered apologetically when the extent of his sexual arousal became physically apparent to her.

"Shhh," he whispered reassuringly, kneading her back with his hands. "A snuggle will be fine, Sam. I'll get over it. But one of these days I want to seduce that dress right off of you."

"One of these days I'll let you," she whispered back, kissing his lips tenderly. Jack resisted the temptation to return that kiss with passionate fervour and they settled down to sleep.

He stayed awake for a long time after she'd dozed off, still frustrated, so much so that eventually he had to get up and go to the bathroom to do something about it. Having managed to get in and out of bed without disturbing her, he was able manoeuvre himself to spoon against her back, his arm draped over her, without eliciting so much as a twitch, and within a very short space of time he was joining her in the world of dreams.

Having completed the part of his plan involving a romantic drive along the coast and Queen's Necklaces, a few miles further along the road Jack pulled off and parked the car, hopeful of fulfilling another notion. Sam looked around, surprised.

"Jack? What are you doing now?" she asked, appraising the motel whose parking lot they'd pulled into.

"Getting us a room."

"A room? Wha… oh! Jack O'Neill!" Her eyes widened with astonishment.

"I know you don't feel comfortable about doing it with Cassie and Chris so close by, so... I sure am not spending the rest of this vacation having no sex with my fiancee."

"You want sex?" She very much wanted to giggle in a school-girlish manner, but thinking Jack might misconstrue her imminent hysteria she clamped down on that urge very firmly.

"Yeah, I want sex. Is that alright with you?" His eyes searched her face for an answer. "Speak now or forever hold your peace," he added jauntily. She said nothing, merely smiling at him with an expression that seemed way more than simply agreeable to his plans.

Since they'd arrived in LA, Jack had been getting a lot of sexual urges and they seemed to be increasing with intensity every day. His desire was probably heightened by the fact he knew the sexual act was forbidden with Cassie and Chris in bed right next door. Sometimes he found it hard to look at Sam without thinking about stripping her and having mad, passionate sex. This had become one of those times.

Jack wasn't so sure he cared much if the younger couple were able to hear every creak of the bed or groan and moan, but if that was the way Sam wanted it he was willing to play along, albeit it with a huge dose of reluctance. Neither of them were going to enjoy it if Sam was self-conscious. But he was pretty determined to achieve some moments of togetherness with Sam, and right now that meant sex with a capital S, E and X.

"Go get us a room, Mr Scarecrow, and be quick about it." Sam loved it when Jack was spontaneous and couldn't wait to find out exactly what he had in mind to do with her behind the privacy of closed and locked doors.

She had to admit she had a small itch too. Making love with Jack was one of the most worthy ways of spending time Sam could imagine. At the beginning of their relationship, the sex had been nervously hesitant. The shift from CO and subordinate to lovers hadn't been easy on either of them. But Jack knew what he was doing and then there was that practice making perfect thing and, as the love and trust between them grew and deepened, the sex had just got better and better. Their strong mental bond enhanced their physical one – most of the time. Everyone has their off days.

"That's what I like to hear," he said, getting of the car, "a woman after my own heart." He left the door open and was back within minutes, key in hand. "Number 3 up towards the end." Without further ado, Jack gunned the engine and he was pulling her over the threshold of their room in seconds flat.

Once inside, he locked the door and the next thing Sam knew she was in his arms, pressed against the door with his hands wandering over and under her clothing.

"If I'd known you had this in mind I would have dressed for the occasion," Sam said, imagining all the sexy clothes she had back at the apartment, and here she was in an ordinary skirt and t-shirt, not wearing any of her really special underwear. That just didn't seem right to Sam; there was something decidedly unfair about it.

"Think I give a damn what you're wearing?" he retorted, but Sam was wishing as she liked looking sexy for Jack and, right now, she thought she looked so run of the mill.

He pulled her closer, placing his lips on hers, and she parted them to give entry to his tongue. Jack's hands certainly didn't seem to care what she was wearing as they wandered over her ass during the deep, long kiss, and one of them hitched up her skirt and smoothed along the flesh of her thighs. His lips slowly pulled away from her mouth, nibbling along her neck while the hand that wasn't caressing her thighs eased under her t-shirt and over her bra.

"You aren't gonna be wearing clothes for much longer," he stated in a breathless whisper to emphasis his case for not giving a damn about what she wore. Sam liked dressing up because for years Jack had mainly seen her in BDUs or some kind of uniform, often bearing a gun or leaning over the table in her lab carrying out some kind of experiment, hair all over the place, hot, sticky, dirty or worse. She liked to show him how much of a woman she was without all that military paraphernalia and protocol.

Jack, on the other hand, thought she was pretty damned hot in the BDUs, although had to admit she had plenty of clothing that made her appear almost too hot to handle. But he'd fallen in love with the woman in BDUs and admired that woman body and soul. Although this did not mean he didn't simply adore her in the hot red suit, semi see through blouse and sexy camisole, or one of the many outfits she'd seen fit to wear over the months. She was an enticing woman and knew how to use her many attributes. After all those years of military paraphernalia and protocol, that had come as something of a revelation, and a very pleasant one it was too.

"Looks like a nice bed, shame to waste it," he commented, despite the temptation to take her right there and then, pressed up against the motel room door.

"If you insist," she agreed, her fingertips lacing with his, and they approached the bed hand in hand. "We ought to call Cassie and Chris, they might be worried."

"Afterwards Dorothy. Just… I need to make love to you now. Can't wait any longer. No way, no how!" They hadn't even turned the light on.

Sam sensed his need was acute because he obviously wasn't much in the mood for being seductive and drawing their lovemaking out like he so often did. So caught up with his desire was Jack, that he fumbled to strip their clothes off without any of the usual caressing and kissing of flesh while he did so. She pushed him away, urging him to deal with his own clothing while she dealt with hers, realising he must have had sex on his mind quite a lot – much more so than normal – and feeling a pang of guilt for not satisfying his very obvious urges over the last few days. 

Sam knew, come what may, Jack wouldn't fail to try and satisfy her but she generally preferred their lovemaking to be tender, loving and long rather than hard and quick, although this wouldn't be the first or the last time for either of them. She had her moments as well. They spent way too long apart and when they got together the itch had often turned into a enormous rash, or even a gaping wound that required immediate cauterisation.

"Don't hold back on my account," she said as he virtually lunged at her, pushing her onto the bed. He said nothing, merely catching her eye with a look of desperation and hint of apology in his. Jack's thoughts were a raging turbulence, but he briefly pondered how much he adored this woman, who was selflessly willing to let him satisfy his desire with no thought for her, just because she sensed his irresistible lust. Sam deserved better but didn't always get it.

Jack cursed himself for his self-centredness, not surprised to find she wasn't really ready for sex, but he couldn't allow himself to hurt her no matter how frantic he was. Giving her pleasure was normally high on his list of priorities with their lovemaking.

"Don't worry Jack," she whispered, "your need is greater than mine."

"I don't want to hurt you," he replied, meeting her gaze. She was smiling and he gave in to his sudden irresistible urge to kiss her. "God, I love you so much," he declared when his lips and tongue pulled away.

"I know."

"I'm pleased you know, Sam, because sometimes…"

"Shhh… you don't have to make excuses for being a man." Her words made him chuckle and lightened the heavy mood inspired by his desires and guilt at being such a selfish bastard.

"Don't know how you put up with me," he said regretfully.

"Because you're worth it." She was knocked for a loop by his responding grin, but in Jack's eyes she could clearly see his internal struggle. He was trying so hard to maintain some modicum of control.

Sam understood the guilt he felt at his selfishness, and his sometimes darker nature. Jack tried to hide that side of him, but she felt privileged beyond his understanding when he revealed it to her. His feelings for her ran very deep or he would never have revealed so much of himself over the past few months.

Jack had wanted her to know before she committed herself to him, but what he didn't realise was that she already knew, the fact if not the detail, and loved and respected him regardless. She was already committed long before they'd even become a couple, despite how it might have appeared when she'd been with Pete.

Had she married Pete, Sam still would have been committed to Jack, heart and soul, forever and always. That was one reason she could never have married Pete, should never had said yes. She knew, deep down, Jack still felt that pain she'd inflicted on him. Hurting Jack was the biggest regret of her life, with the possible exception of her mother's untimely death, but she couldn't continue to apologise for that grievous error forever. That might destroy what they had so belatedly found. All she could do now was love him as unreservedly as possible, and make sure he knew.

She urged him to continue, longing for him to quash his guilt and take pleasure from her body. Didn't he understand that she loved to give him satisfaction? Any discomfort she might suffer would be worth every uncomfortable moment to see ecstasy on his face. Her fulfilment could wait. Worth it, so worth it.

"No!" Jack exclaimed with a strangulated cry.

"Please Jack," she begged. She stroked his hair, loving him all the more because of his stubborn refusal to simply get it over with, and although the sex was finished almost before it started, and way quicker than she might have preferred, Jack managed to resist his selfish impulses to ensure she enjoyed it.

Propped on his elbows on top of her, he greeted her look of adoration with a heart-wrenching smile. "I love you baby," he said, bending his head to kiss her lips delicately before dismounting and pulling her into his arms. "Thank you."

"Thank you? No need to thank me, Jack."

"Yes there is. You're one heck of a woman," he muttered, moving off her to lie by her side.

"Then I should thank you."

"I started off kinda wanting romantic," he confessed, that having been part of the reason he'd driven her along the PCH at night in the first place. So much for that plan. Desire had overtaken the need to romance her and he regretted that, but too late now. It was done and couldn't be undone. Jack wasn't going to waste too much time feeling bad about it, as he'd get plenty of opportunities to make it up to her.

"Romance is overrated," she replied with a slight smirk. With Jack she got a bit of everything and she liked that.

"Mmmm…"

He said no more and she knew he'd fallen into a doze, so she smiled, kissing his temple and smoothing his hair. "I love you Jack O'Neill," she declared in a soft whisper and he grunted quietly and smiled slightly as if he'd heard. Maybe he had.

Extricating herself from his embrace and propping herself up, she stared at his handsome features in the darkness, able to make out the outline of his nose, and his contented expression.

"Are you still awake?" he asked, without opening his eyes.

She was startled. "I thought you were asleep."

"Think I might have been. Mind if I put the light on?"

"No," she replied and he reached for the switch. They both blinked to adjust their eyes and Sam noticed his serious appearance, wondering if something was wrong. When he lay his head down on the pillow next to hers again she asked him. "Something on your mind?"

"Yeah." His pause seemed to continue for an age and he drifted into thought with a far away look in his eyes. Sam felt the need to prompt him.

"Jack?" She stroked his cheek and he gasped, almost as if he's been deeply engrossed in his own little world and forgotten he'd been about to speak, and maybe he had. His deep brown eyes turned to meet hers.

"Marry me?" he asked and she furrowed her eyebrows, taken aback.

"We're already engaged."

"I mean let's set a date. You and Betsy, probably Cassie too, have been thinking about it and planning it for what seems like forever, but we haven't, so let's do it."

"What? I-I…"

"Not getting cold feet on me are ya, Dorothy?" Although his tone was light-hearted, Sam wondered if he really thought she might dump him before they got to the altar and, after her two previous failures, who could blame him for doubting? She had a poor track record as far as commitment to men was concerned, but Sam had no doubts about Jack. He was the right one. This was really it, at last, and it seemed as if she'd been waiting for him her whole lifetime. In Sam's opinion, her previous failures to fulfil a commitment had served a purpose and being with Jack was it.

"Never, Mr Scarecrow. You're my third time lucky." He smiled at that and brushed his hand over her brow, bending to kiss her briefly on the lips. "You've never really told me what you want, Jack, the when, where and how?" Her eyes glistened with the emotion of the moment, heart thumping excitedly.

"Didn't think I was gonna get any say in the matter. Thought you and Betsy had it all pegged," he said with a hint of O'Neill sarcasm, trying to lighten the affecting mood. The last thing he wanted was to be overwhelmed with emotion. Jack liked to stay in control of his feelings wherever and whenever possible, and mainly did, but Sam had a bad habit of breaking through the barrier. He loved her for it, but sometimes didn't like himself quite so much.

"Seriously. What do you want?" she persisted, keeping his eyes entrapped with hers, which made it hard for Jack to reign in those potentially wayward emotions.

"Me?" he answered more light-heartedly than he felt. "I'd elope to Vegas tomorrow and get hitched in some seedy shrine to Elvis or little green men as long as I walked out with Mrs Samantha O'Neill on my arm," he joked. "I want you to have everything, Sam, anything you want. The whole works. Whatever it takes and screw the expense. So what do you want? What have you always dreamed of?"

Sam reached for his hand and grasped it, chuckling as she recalled various flights of fancy she'd had when younger. She remembered the fantasies she'd discussed with Betsy as a teen, when she'd been so determined she would marry a certain dashing and handsome young Captain O'Neill one day. But now she was older and wiser, and the real thing was right there with her, staring into her eyes. This was real.

Kissing his knuckles while she thought on her response, she spoke up after a lengthy pause. She could see Jack was making an effort to hide an inner turmoil and wanted to hug him for being such an adorable lunk.

"I always figured springtime, when romance is in the air, spring blossoms blooming and birds twittering on the trees making nests."

"Okay, we can wait until then."

Sam thought she detected some disappointment in Jack's tone, given the seasons had passed beyond what might be considered as spring, and the fact he didn't want to wait made her heart soar. She couldn't help but smile and he returned her grin with a glorious one of his own, unable to resist.

"No, I don't want to wait that long. That was then, this is now. These days I'm rather partial to the fall, when the trees are turning brown and red but the sun is still warm and the skies still blue."

"Sounds nice. We can do that," he said, continuing to smile. Jack knew she loved the fall and had hoped this might be what she really wanted. Fall was only a matter of a few months away. It gave him time to arrange for her fantasies to come true while not having to wait too long to make her Mrs O'Neill and fulfil his own.

"We have to get married in Colorado Springs, don't you think?" she said looking at him enquiringly, but he said nothing, waiting for her to continue. He didn't disagree with that idea. It seemed logical they would marry in the place that had become so dear to both of them. "Unless you were thinking DC or Minnesota." His nose wrinkled at the mention of DC and he shook his head at the notion of Minnesota.

"I'm asking you what you want," he said, shifting to prop himself up on one arm while the other reached out to hers, coming to rest on her bare flesh and giving it a gentle squeeze before settling to stroke it with his thumb.

"The Chapel at the Air Force Academy is pretty special." Sam loved the unique soaring spires, unusual shape and beautiful modern stained glass, and it was big enough to accommodate the whole SGC plus a few other friends and family if that was what they wanted.

"You want the whole military thing?" He figured this shouldn't have surprised him. After all, Sam was a military brat born and raised. It was in the blood with her.

"Don't you?" she asked hesitantly. This was Jack's wedding too and, although she longed for him to want what she wanted, she realised this was not necessarily so.

"Whatever you want Dorothy." Sam could tell he meant that sincerely and it pleased her, but she was reluctant to take total control of that important event in their lives.

Jack didn't wish to mention his previous union with Sara, but the fact he'd been married before and this was to be Sam's first, and hopefully last, colored his view. He yearned to make her happy and wanted their wedding to be perfect in her eyes - start as he intended to continue. He'd already been there and done the getting hitched thing. All he wanted now was to marry Sam and Jack didn't much mind about the where and how as long as it happened, although he figured a little romance couldn't hurt.

After some thought she spoke. "I want my future husband to be wearing his military best, dripping with medals and looking as sexy as hell."

Jack chuckled slightly uneasily. "You think I look sexy in my dress blues? Who'd have thunk?" he replied with a shy boyish smile on his lips.

"I want the full military honor guard stuff and-and… but failing that I'll elope with you to Vegas tomorrow if you like."

"You would?" he queried, half tempted by the idea of dragging Cassie and Chris along and just getting it done. Daniel would kill him, and Betsy would be none too happy with Sam. In fact, he figured quite a few people would be put out by that act. Besides, Jack knew it wasn't what Sam really wanted. She deserved the full works and he was going to give them to her.

"Yes, I would."

Jack sighed wistfully, but said, "I'll call the Academy when we get back and hope we can find a slot."

"You're okay with the Academy?"

"Seems fitting, don't ya think?"

"Yes. Yes it does."

He pulled her closer, sinking back onto the bed to cuddle her affectionately, and both of their minds raced with the various arrangements that would have to be made between now and then. There would be a lot to do and it wouldn't be made any easier by the fact that he lived in DC while she was the one on the spot in the Springs. They both had such limited time available.

"And what about a honeymoon, Sam?" he whispered gently in her ear. "Where do you want to go?"

"Can't we just hide out in an icy crevice in Antarctica for a few days?" she joked and Jack laughed, sharing that distant memory.

"As long as you don't need to give me any medical attention while we're there, that would be fine," he said pulling back from their hug to blast her with a grin. Their arms remained entwined while their heads rested facing each other on the pillows.

"No leg splinting for old times sake?" She winked teasingly.

"Ack! Anything but that!"

His expression was one of mock horror, although Sam figured he probably meant it. She had to admit she'd probably been a little ham-fisted and her now lover and ex-CO had gone through agonies of torment. Poor guy, but he'd lived – they both had. The whole ghastly experience had brought them closer together in those early days of the team, so a lot of good had come out of it, and their many other more nasty adventures over the years. Once again she pondered, that was then, this is now.

"Got any thoughts?" she asked curiously.

"Lots of 'em."

"The man with the plan?" she teased.

"Always," he said, glancing at her eyes, which were filled with amusement. "Okay, well, nearly always." He shrugged and pulled a self-mocking face, causing Sam to smile sweetly and his heart to flip-flop in his chest once again. His fingers combed through her hair affectionately and he kissed her forehead while she squeezed him tenderly.

"Anywhere with you will be great Jack," she declared in a soft and loving tone.

"Sweet!"

"Use your imagination," she added.

"You want me to just arrange something?" he asked, surprised. What if he made the wrong choice?

"Yeah, surprise me."

"Whoa! What if you don't like my plan?"

"I know I'll love it. I trust you Jack."

"Okay," he replied, nodding. "The man with the plan will get planning." He let out a long quiet sigh. "Jeez, this is really going to happen, isn't it? We're really gonna do it."

"Yes, we're really gonna do it. You doubted it?"

"And I'll keep doubting it until we exchange those vows and put rings on each other's fingers, and then I'll still probably figure I'm dreaming."

She tittered and her fingers reached over to stroke his neck. "No backing out now."

"As if. No way. Always and forever, Sam," he whispered and her heart fluttered with excitement at that prospect.

"Always and forever? Never alone?"

"Never alone," he agreed, fingering the necklace she now wore most of the time, which got him to thinking about wedding rings and whether he could get those Ancient, but very special, words engraved on both of theirs. Did they have any of this alien metal going spare so he could get a couple of wedding bands made? He'd have to speak to Daniel about that and see if they could fix something up.

The necklace had brought them together after so many years of mainly hidden and suppressed forlorn hope, and one heck of a near miss when Sam had decided to give up on Jack and marry someone else. Thank god that had never happened! What could be more fitting than to have rings to match the necklace? He kind of liked that probably dumb and overly sentimental notion, thinking Sam might appreciate it too but determining to say nothing to her until he'd come up with the plan.

Trinium. Rare and valuable but so wholly appropriate. The idea grew on him until he decided he just had to make it happen, somehow. Gee, surely there had to be some unusual perks to his unique job?

Although Jack was now getting drowsy, he didn't think they should fall asleep. He would have been content to sleep right there with Sam in his arms but figured they should get off their butts and return to Cassie's place.

"I guess we ought to get back to the apartment instead of hanging around in this motel like a couple with something to hide," he said.

"I don't think so," she replied and one of Jack's eyebrows shot up with surprise. "We ought to call and tell them we aren't going back tonight. Then I can seduce you in the morning." She smiled cheekily.

"Oh?" Jack queried, a smirk appearing on his lips. "Give me time and I could get used to that idea."

"I'll bet you could, Mr Scarecrow," she responded with amusement, kissing his recalcitrant brow.

"You gonna call 'em, Dorothy?" he asked with a yawn and, even before she'd found her cell phone and started to make the call, Jack was asleep looking as peaceful and content as a well-fed and cared for newborn babe.

Sam regarded him lovingly, lightly smoothing a finger down the length of his cheek and then moving into the bathroom to make the call to Cassie.

'Let him sleep in peace,' she thought, eagerly pondering that in a few months, she would marry the man she loved.

Squealing inside, Sam thought about plans and guest lists, and dresses, contemplating calling Betsy but deciding against it. She'd never get off the phone. Having spoken to Cassie, who she swore tittered down the phone at her, Sam settled down next to Jack, curling around his body as she so loved to do, and remained awake for a very long time, making plans.

End of Part 25


	26. Never Alone: The Not So Simple Life

Hiya folks! I'm so sorry it has taken me such a long time to update this series. Between writing my latest, the Jackficathon entry Finding Faith, vacation times, Christmas, RL and not to mention meeting the glorious RDA (sigh! That was a fairly discombobulating experience I can tell you!), life has been pretty hectic for a couple of months or so. I promise the next update will follow much quicker!

Title: Never Alone 26: The Not So Simple Life

Content Warnings: Use of Jack-like language, and some vulgar language (specifically the "F" word) and references to sexual situations.

Pairings: Jack & Sam, Cassie and Chris

Summary: Jack receives some bad news. "Life is never that simple, always full of shocks and set-backs and damned fine reasons for shaking one's fist at its vagaries."

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone 25: The Man with the Plan

Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

Author's Note: It's been a while since one of this series has made an appearance, and this story has not been beta read, so you have been warned. I hope you enjoy and I haven't made any huge honkin' errors.

**Never Alone: The Not So Simple Life**

Cassie whooped with joy when Sam told her their plans for the wedding, asking her to be a bridesmaid, which she quickly leapt at even more joyously. Then they took themselves off to Rodeo Drive to look at ideas for dresses, colors and themes. This exclusive shopping area might be a little rich for their blood, but it didn't stop them looking.

All the while they looked, the pair chattered excitedly about wedding plans and guest lists, flowers and table decorations, having a jolly old time to themselves while Jack and Chris entertained each other by disappearing to a bar not far from the apartment and getting slightly tipsy. Plans for a celebratory meal later that night kept the two men in check and, on their return to the apartment, Sam and Cassie were pleasantly surprised to be greeted by two relatively sober partners playing chess.

But life is never that simple, always full of shocks and setbacks and damned fine reasons for shaking one's fist at its vagaries. The celebrations, and vacation, came to an abrupt end when Jack's cell phone beckoned with a loud and persistent ring tone.

"O'Neill," he answered jauntily, all seemingly innocent enough to start with. "Yeah. Oh! Yes. No. Yes I understand. Yes, I will. Where? I'll get there as soon as possible. Um, thank you for calling."

While he spoke, Sam watched her fiancee surreptitiously, something about the tone of his voice, a warning, and was startled to see him pale significantly. Cassie also noticed that something was wrong and took Sam's hand. Sam glanced at her briefly, but her attention was on Jack, who finished the call with a grunt and angrily threw it at the wall, whereupon it did what any such fragile instrument might do at times of great stress, fracturing and scattering small parts all over the room. Sam felt Cassie try to move towards Jack, but turned and shook her head in a stark warning – keep away.

The older woman knew danger was lurking and was almost certain the demon was back just as suddenly as it had left him all those months ago in Chicago. Jack didn't even look at the other people in the room but got up and stalked out. Sam forced Cassie to drop her hand and followed, finding him outside leaning against the wall and taking deep breaths.

"Jack!"

"Don't come near me!" he warned, not wanting to harm her but knowing he desperately wished to harm someone or something.

"No, you aren't keeping me away that easily."

"Go to hell, Sam!" Heedless of his warning and dangerous tones, she stepped forward and grasped his shoulders. Jack regarded her with fury and looked like he might hit her for her temerity.

"Don't!" he cried, fighting his urge to lash out in his pain.

"No way am I going to let that demon drive me away, I told you that already, so forget it! Tell me what's happened, please."

She clung to him determinedly, not allowing him to push her away as he wanted to, and Sam thought she might have a desperate struggle on her hands. However, her words and perhaps her recognition of the demon and her willingness to fight it brought some superficial sanity back to Jack. He searched her eyes, looking for the hope of salvation. Finding it, he looked relieved, visibly relaxing, and she pulled him into her arms.

"What is it Jack?" He remained stubbornly silent but accepted her embrace, so Sam knew she had won at least a partial victory. "What's happened?" she persisted.

He pulled away from her arms and regarded her evenly. When they finally came, the words were cold and emotionless. "Mom died," he declared simply, "first thing this morning. I have to go to Chicago."

Instead of allowing herself to feel the hurt caused by his rejection, Sam became business like. "I'll call the airport, get us booked on the next available flight."

His next words really strung, leaving her reeling with shock. "I'll call. You aren't coming with me." His tone was harsh and forbidding.

"W-what?"

"I don't want you to come with me, Sam. Is that clear enough for you?"

"But Jack I want to be there for you…" she started to protest and he held his hands up in a gesture intended to silence her. His eyes blazed angrily and she realised the small victory she'd had over the demon was just a fleeting illusion.

"I said no!" he shouted emphatically. "I don't want you to come to Chicago."

"You can't go alone, you need…"

"I can and I will," he said with a hard glare and a frosty tone. "What exactly is it about the word no you don't understand? I don't need you there. Just-just leave me alone. I'll call the airport later." He turned away from her, striding off with an angry gait and leaving the apartment building hastily.

"Jack!" she called after him, but was reluctant to follow, re-entering the apartment with moisture filled eyes. Cassie rushed to her side.

"Sam, what is it? What's happened? Where's Jack?"

However much Sam would have liked to burst into tears and take comfort from Cassie, she was determined to keep her bruised feelings to herself. "The phone call… his mom died," she said, shrugging off Cassie's offered embrace.

"Uncle Jack's got a mom?" Cassie retorted with surprise, thinking better of her curiosity at that moment. "She died? Where is he?"

"Gone to get drunk as a skunk I imagine," Sam replied calmly. "But he's got to go to Chicago. He's calling the airport. I'll go pack." She walked towards the bedroom and Cassie exchanged glances with Chris, shrugging helplessly.

"Do you want me to go find him, Sam?" he offered, and Sam shook her head.

"Best to leave him alone. He'll be fine." She wasn't so sure about that but felt obliged to say so. No way did she want Chris risking life and limb by encouraging him to approach Jack when he was in that demonic mood. If she couldn't no one could, or should even try. Pity any poor soul who got in his way tonight. She suddenly had visions of Jack ending up in a prison cell but shook them off, her hurt turning to anger and a distinct feeling that it would serve him right if he did. 'Doesn't want me to go with him? Stupid bastard!' she cursed inwardly.

"Can I help you pack?" Cassie asked, but Sam shook her head and entered the bedroom, shutting the door behind her, and any comfort out of her life.

It was clear to Cassie that there was something way more wrong than Sam was letting on. The younger couple had heard Jack's raised and angry voice through the apartment wall, but hadn't been able to make out what he'd said. She knew Sam well enough, however, to decline from pushing it. If she wanted to talk she would, when she was good and ready. In that respect Sam and Jack could be very similar, although Sam was way more likely to open up. You could die and turn to dust quicker than Jack would express his feelings.

Sam sat on the bed and sobbed quietly. That other person Jack could become scared her. He was hurtful, cruel and uncaring. So not the Jack she knew, but an integral part of him nonetheless. It was a little Jekyll and Hyde-ish and Sam realised she had to learn to live with both men, and all the different Jacks in-between. This was what he had wanted her to know about him by revealing himself to her over the months, piece by piece – what she would have to put up with occasionally during their lives together.

She'd been warned, but was she really prepared? Doubt nagged at her. She loved him very much, but could easily hate that part of him and let it poison them.

"No!" she cried to herself determinedly. "I am not going to let that happen." The best of Jack was the very best, but he was human like everyone else. "So, I'll take my chances. He's worth it, and one hell of a lot more," Sam muttered.

Pulling herself together, she packed both his clothing and hers, and then rejoined Cassie and Chris to wait for her lover's return, vowing to be there for him no matter what.

Meanwhile, having retreated to a local bar and knocked back a couple of beers chased by some Scotches, Jack called the airport from a payphone and ascertained he could not get a commercial flight until the next morning. This established, he settled back to resign himself to his fate and get excessively drunk.

Briefly, he felt a tinge of regret at hurting Sam's feelings, but very fleetingly. This was an occasion to think about him, his life, Chicago, his mother and father, not Sam. Screw her! Couldn't she understand that he needed to do this alone?

The bar was a bit of a dive, but Jack hardly noticed his surroundings, couldn't have cared less about them. They sold beer and Scotch and didn't concern themselves with how much of either he was consuming as long as he had the money to pay for it. The place was dark, gloomy and secluded, a great hideaway, perfectly matching his current state of mind, which was tumultuous.

Memories of his childhood assailed him, the beatings, the cold cruelty of his drunken, bullying father, the apparent indifference of his mother to that plight, whether or not she'd drunk herself into oblivion. Perhaps not indifference, but a definite reluctance to help or save him, or herself. Now she was dead and he would never know how she'd really felt about everything all those years ago.

But he knew how he felt and, as he knocked back drink after drink, inside his head he held a number of imaginary conversations with Sam about the situation. Jack enjoyed the self-imposed misery of imaginary conversations. They helped a lot because he didn't have to listen to any words he didn't want to hear.

_"She was a bitch, Sam."_

_"But she was your mother…"_

_"You think I don't hate myself for hating my own mother?"_

_"I just meant… naturally you're upset."_

_"Upset? Sure I'm upset. We never resolved anything."_

_"Well you don't need to add that to the list of things you feel guilty about. Why the hell can't you give yourself a break, damn it!" _

_"Ack! I don't deserve a break."_

_"Don't. Don't ever say that."_

And then another…

_"I hated her, I loved her, I hated her. How's that for an O'Neillism, huh?"_

_"Don't we all have love/hate relationships with our parents?"_

_"Do we? So you figure I'm normal?"_

_"There's nothing normal about what happened when you were a kid, or no one should consider it normal. But you're pretty normal…"_

_"All things considered?"_

_"You bethcya!" _

And so on, and on. He kind of wanted to talk to her about it, but couldn't, so he talked inside his head instead, growing steadily drunker and increasingly morose. Looking back he would struggle to remember the last time he'd been that drunk, but it had been a very long time ago, a whole lifetime away.

Jack was physically okay until the air hit when he left the bar and he staggered a little, head spinning dizzyingly, so he propped up against a wall for a while to regain his equilibrium before attempting to return to the apartment, and considered regrets. His earlier cold nastiness towards Sam must have hurt and Jack loathed himself for that, which only served to increase his burden of sick guilt, self-loathing and gloom.

His inebriation had intensified all of those negative thoughts and feelings provoked by the news of his mother's death. No surprise there as that's what alcohol does, not matter how much you believe it will drown those sorrows, and Jack had so many questions about his past and his relationship with both parents, so many unresolved issues and feelings.

Why had he let his father hurt them so? Why hadn't he stopped it sooner? He should have been able to stand up to the old bastard, protect himself and his family from harm. In his heart, Jack knew he'd been powerless to act, right up until the moment he had, but that knowledge did nothing to pacify those turbulent thoughts and the blame he apportioned to himself.

Then there was his mother. How much had she known? How much had she tried to stop his father from hurting him? How could she have turned her back on her own son? Had she ever loved him? These were the questions he had wanted to ask but couldn't. He'd been afraid to ask, afraid to face the answers until it was too late, and now he struggled not to think about it, but couldn't help himself.

Peeling himself off the wall, Jack stood still for a moment and realised he could probably walk without falling over. Okay so he wouldn't pass a sobriety test any time soon, but he didn't have to, right? Time to face the music, time to face Sam. Crap!

Bile rose unbidden to his throat as he considered how she might react when he got back to the apartment. Did he want to face that? Could he? What about Cassie and Chris? Jeez, what would Cassie say? Jack envisaged her expression of disdain, both Sam and Cassie giving him the cold eye and shoulder, and Chris joining in, disapproving of his behaviour.

Screw 'em! He'd ignore all of them and just throw himself into bed to sleep it off. Maybe everything would look different in the morning. But then Jack knew he wouldn't have a great deal of time in the morning to make amends. He had a plane to catch.

Having reached the apartment block, Jack entered and paused in the lobby, still ambivalent about the reactions he might expect, but also about his own mood and feelings. 'Grasp the bull by the horns Jack, old boy,' he told himself. 'Get it over with.'

The sound of someone vainly endeavoring to open the door with a key, and persistently missing the lock, alerted the others that Jack was back. The three exchanged meaningful glances and Sam got up to open the door for him. He almost fell in. She'd never seen him like this before and it was a new lesson to learn about the ever-enigmatic Jack O'Neill.

His maudlin drunkenness has swiftly changed to over affectionate cheeriness and, as he lolled against her while she tried to hold up his almost dead weight, he looked up into her eyes with a contrite expression, breath so laden with alcoholic fumes that Sam thought he would breathe fire if she put a match to it.

Closing the door behind him, she propped his body against it as she considered exactly how she would manage to get this lunk of a man through the apartment and into the bedroom.

"Oh, Jack…!" she exclaimed in a quiet and indulgent manner and his puppy dog, though bloodshot, eyes regarded her with an expression she couldn't quite fathom.

"Think I might be a little drunk," he slurred.

"Really?" she replied with amused sarcasm. "Could have fooled me." Sam smiled and Jack's lips turned up at the corners into a lopsided grin of his own.

He said nothing for a few moments and then whispered conspiratorially. "Wanna fuck?" Sam's eyes widened with stunned shock.

"Doubt you're capable," she responded, rolling her eyes.

"That's what you think," he claimed, although Sam thought she probably knew better. "Come on, babe. I'm horny."

"With you smelling like a distillery? I don't think so fly boy. Let's get you to bed."

"Yeah, bed! I like the sound of that. Bed!" His eyebrows took on a suggestive pose and Sam snorted.

"Sam, do you need any help?" Chris' voice shouted from the living room.

"No. Everything's fine Chris, thanks," she answered, although Sam was still wondering about the logistics of getting Jack to bed and whether he would simply fall flat on his face if her arms weren't pinning him to the door. "Come on Jack, help me out here, will you? A nice warm comforting bed is waiting."

"With a nice warm, comforting Dorothy?"

"If that's what it takes, Mr Scarecrow."

"I can do this."

"Sure you can."

Keeping him upright with one arm, she snaked the other around his back, shifting him to prop against her instead of the door and taking a firm hold. When Jack realised he wasn't going to make it without her help, one of his arms grasped her desperately, and he pondered how the hell he'd managed to get back to the apartment in one piece in the first place.

They made slow progress down the hall and by the time they both reached the living room Sam was laughing hysterically, with Jack repeatedly asking what was so funny. Chris got up to help but she shook her head.

"Hi kids!" Jack garbled, with a drunken wave of his arm. "I'm home!"

Cassie tried to suppress a giggle but didn't succeed, and Jack grumbled about being laughed at by his two favourite women.

"Sam and I are gonna go have sex now," he said, causing Cassie to splutter with laughter. "We so are! That means earplugs for you youngsters. Sam, where's the earplugs?"

Sam ignored the question, sighing deeply, and pulled him towards the bedroom door. Chris leapt up to open it for her and she half dragged Jack inside while Chris closed it behind them, and then managed to drop him onto the bed where he sprawled in an ungainly fashion.

Starting at his feet, she stripped him off and Jack gurgled and grinned at her inanely, rambling on about having sex and screwing like a couple of dogs on heat. Sam couldn't think of anything much less appealing than Jack in this state, and the act of stripping him, which was a long hard fought struggle, didn't do anything to encourage her either.

Despite the fact that Jack was unlikely to be capable of the sexual act in his current state of inebriation, she wouldn't put it past him to have a damned good try. In all likelihood he would simply collapse on top of her, and she'd have to push that dead weight off to get a night's sleep. No doubt he'd snore too, and very loudly. Oy!

As luck would have it, by the time she managed to pull the covers over her highly intoxicated and flammable fiancee, he was sound asleep or, more likely, passed out. She stood watching him benevolently for a while, a small smirk on her lips, and then bent over and kissed his forehead, sneaking out to apologise to their two hosts and say goodnight before returning and joining him. She was so right about that snoring. Yeahsureyabetchya!

Jack groaned with pain as he awoke, gingerly opening his eyes a crack to the seemingly bright light, and swiftly closing them again in self-defense as it bit into his already throbbing head.

"Crap!" he muttered. Then he remembered everything - the phone call, the row with Sam, getting extremely drunk and his behaviour when he'd returned, even the time of his flight to Chicago. His eyes flew open and he peered at his watch through the intense brilliance, trying to determine the time. "Crap!" he exclaimed, more loudly. He'd missed the plane.

Dragging himself out of bed, he staggered to the bathroom, turning on the shower and pulling himself into the water's inviting embrace.

"Did I really ask Sam for a fuck?" he mumbled, cursing himself, "and tell Cassie and Chris we were going to have sex? Damn it!"

The shower was long and very hot and by the time he'd finished, scrubbed at his teeth for minutes trying to awaken his mouth, and got dressed in the only clothing he could find that hadn't already been packed, Jack was beginning to feel almost human. To look at him you would never have guessed he'd been so drunk the previous night, but his mood had reverted to glum negativity.

When he opened the bedroom door, three pairs of eyes greeted him and he shuddered, wondering what thoughts lay behind them. All three were thinking that he didn't deserve to look that good considering how drunk he'd been the night before, but he wasn't to know that.

"Uncle Jack!" Cassie exclaimed with a smile, running over to take him in her arms.

"Whoa!" he cried, almost bowled over by her.

"I'm so sorry about your mom," she said in a plaintive voice, squeezing him warmly, kissing his cheek, and backing away because she knew he wasn't always at ease with displays of extreme affection or sympathy, even from her or Sam. Chris got up and shook Jack's hand, nodding his head tersely in acknowledgement of Jack's situation. Sam merely eyed him silently, breaking it after a long pause to ask if he wanted coffee.

The ensuing silence wasn't particularly comfortable. Jack didn't know what to say and wasn't much up for talking anyway. Cassie and Chris weren't sure what was going on between Jack and Sam, and didn't want to get in the way. Sam was uncertain of Jack's current mood and didn't want to provoke a fight in the circumstances. None of them knew quite how to react to each other.

After coffee, Cassie and Chris decided to beat a hasty, and tactful, retreat, leaving the older couple alone. The goodbyes were short and sweet, although they suspected Jack wouldn't be there when they got back, and possibly not Sam either. It left a sour taste in their mouths after the wonderful few days they'd spent together, but such is life and they resigned themselves to that fate, knowing they'd have other chances, other days, other times.

Jack said nothing after they'd gone, picking up the phone to call the airport and arrange an alternative flight. All sign of that affectionate drunk he'd been when returning the previous night had gone and in its place was sombre and sober taciturnity. Blank faced and emotionless O'Neill - so like him, which didn't mean Sam had to like it.

She had believed he would change his mind about her accompanying him to Chicago, but was wrong. That was made abundantly clear by what she overheard of the call to the airport. Ticket for one, returning to DC.

"I'd better get going if I'm gonna make the plane," he said when he returned the handset to its cradle. "Thanks for packing." This time, Sam didn't even try to win him over. That would be a waste of breath and probably evolve into another argument.

He left the apartment shortly thereafter without much of a goodbye except a swift kiss on Sam's forehead and a vague promise to call. Sam was left alone, shocked, bereft and infuriated. Fingering her pendent she thought, 'so much for all that "never alone" nonsense.' Where the heck did they go from there?

To be continued


	27. Never Alone: The Comfort of Friends

Author's note: At least I haven't kept you waiting for a new chapter so long this time. Once again, this story has not been beta read so any mistakes are well and truly down to me. I foresee much wailing and gnashing of teeth, so I'm gonna hide behind a rock for a while! I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Content Warnings: Use of mild language and sexual situations

Pairings: Jack & Sam, Jack/Other

Spoilers: None

Summary: An old friend in Chicago leads Jack astray. Meanwhile, back in Colorado Springs, Sam seeks consolation from another old friend.

Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

**Never Alone: The Comfort of Friends**

The scene was almost picturesque: lush green grass, bright flowers of many different hues, blue skies with fluffy cotton candy clouds, birds song-fully twittering. If it hadn't been for the bleak dull greyness of row upon row of gravestones, it would have been very picturesque indeed.

Jack stood solemnly by the graveside as the minister intoned sorrowful, regretful and kindly spiritual words about the loss of a good women he wasn't sure he even knew, and certainly wasn't sure was good. His mother. She was gone and he would never have the chance to talk to her again. Not in this lifetime.

His face bore an emotionless mask and his body the blue uniform of his rank, a fitting mark of respect for the woman. She had been his mother. She'd produced him from her loins and fed him at her breast. Whatever had happened in the past, she surely deserved that honor.

Perfectly motionless, hands clasped together in front of him, his eyes stared straight ahead, shaded and partially hidden by the peak of his cap. But if you had been able to look, you would have seen blankness, nothing to display the turmoil that lurked within.

Chaotic and dark thoughts lay hidden behind the deep brown of those emotionless eyes. The mask was firmly in place and no way was he going to let it slip. One thing Jack O'Neill prided himself upon was his expertise in camouflage. They taught you well in the armed forces, to disguise both the body and the mind, and Jack had learned those lessons early, and exceedingly well.

Some of that well hidden turbulence was a gamut of emotions concerning his mothers death: the love/hate thing he had discussed with Sam in his head that night he'd gotten so extremely drunk a few days before. If he was honest with himself, Jack didn't know how he felt about his mother's loss, but he wasn't entirely honest with himself and thus was persuaded he was at ease with it, if not relieved. One less burden to shoulder, one less thing to feel guilty about when he failed to visit her from one year to the next.

Meanwhile, some of the turmoil revolved around Sam, his regret at leaving her behind and his stupid cussedness at not having called since he'd arrived in Chicago. He needed her there with him, she's been right about that. He'd been wrong, and a fool. Jack missed her, the support, love and companionship. He craved it deeply.

He allowed his eyes to roam the small gathering of people at the graveside. Most were from the care home in which she had lived for the last few years, both staff and fellow residents. He recognised his mother's lawyer, having met him only a couple of days beforehand, but there was one person he couldn't identify and he was puzzled by her presence. Perhaps she was the type who attended stranger's funerals. Such people existed, but she didn't look like one of them.

The woman was tall and willowy, wearing a dark grey suit nipped in at the waist and black stockings and shoes. She reminded him a little of Sam, but only because her hair was short and blonde and her eyes large, beautiful and blue. Feeling his eyes upon her, she looked up and met them, nodding briefly to acknowledge him with a whisper of a smile.

Caught in the act of looking, Jack's expression momentarily became confused before the mask firmly slipped into place again. Hastily he looked away, eyes front, just like a good airman on parade should. He wondered if he knew her. The expression on her face implied she knew him, but he couldn't place her.

When the pomp and ceremony of the funeral was completed, and Jack had laid his wreath on his mother's grave, he stood in silence staring down at the headstone to wait for the small gathering to disperse. A small cough interrupted his thoughts and he turned towards the sound. The woman in grey was reaching out her hand to squeeze his arm, but he shrugged it off.

"I'm sorry about your mother, Jack," she said, seemingly unphased by his reaction to her offer of sympathy. When her words were met by a stony and suspicious silence, she continued. "You don't remember me do you?"

"Um, I'm sorry, no I don't." he said, finding his voice at last.

"Jean Kelly. We went to school together. We used to be… friends."

Another man might have blushed pink at the memory of her name, but Jack wasn't given to blushing. She had changed so much. Of course he remembered. How could he have forgotten? He recalled fumbling in the dark, hand on her thighs, trying to ease round to the place that was so forbidden; attempting to unhook her first ever bra (she'd been so proud, the first girl in her year) and caress those small burgeoning mounds of flesh he so longed for; a forbidden kiss in the playground – and more, way more.

Jeez, he'd been precocious, and she'd been willing, but they had been far too young for all of that. If he hadn't been packed off to Minnesota, this might well have been the woman he'd lost his virginity to. Jack was lost for words that he had forgotten.

"I guess that was a long time ago," she said with a shrug. "I saw the notice in the paper and thought I'd pay my respects. I hoped to see you."

Jack arched his eyebrows in surprise at that comment. "I-I'm sorry. You look way too young to… um…" he stumbled. She was beautiful, and hot, and not very much younger than he was. This woman was in her fifties? What had happened to the chaste, wiry grey haired fifty year olds he'd grown to expect? Times change.

"I think that was a compliment, Jack. How sweet of you. What are you doing now? Have you got time for a drink to catch-up? My, how handsome and suave you look in that uniform. And I adore the grey hair. A general? Who'd have thought it?" she babbled, running her sentences together in one long breath.

"Handsome and suave? Thanks, I think." He smiled engagingly. "Did you mention a drink? Yeah, I could use a drink."

"One for your mom," she stated.

Jack pondered that momentarily and nodded. "Yeah, one for my mom." It seemed an appropriate way to send off his lush of a mother. Jean couldn't be expected to know how ironically fitting it was.

His companion smiled and gently grasped his arm. "I know a half decent bar not far from here."

"Lead on McDuff."

Jean arched her eyebrows at his use of that Shakespearean phrase and smiled, but said nothing, and they didn't speak much until they reached the bar, when his old flame linked her arm in his, leading him inside like some kind of trophy. She reminded him a little of Francine Butler, his neighbour and now Daniel's sometime lover, a little too brash, a little too forward, which made him wonder how that seemingly mismatched pair were getting along these days and whether Jean had that same heart of gold hidden inside that Daniel claimed for Francine. Judging a book by its cover could be the most serious mistake any person could make. He should add that to his Jack O'Neill Handbook and send it to Cassie. A cliche, yes, but no less true because of that.

The bar's interior was fairly plush, with wooden panelled walls and dark brown leather covered comfortable looking chairs and couches placed around tables that matched the panelling. The lighting was subdued, but not overly dark, and the bar area itself was a horseshoe in the middle surrounded by matching leather covered bar stools.

"Nice!" Jack commented approvingly.

"So, what are you having, general?" Jean asked as they approached the bar.

"On me I think," he replied. "What are you having?"

"Vodka and orange on the rocks."

"Beer."

They took their drinks over to one of the couches and sank into the luxuriant leather.

"Bit up market isn't it?" he queried.

"It certainly isn't a dive," she agreed, raising her glass in the air. "To your mom. God rest her soul."

Jack raised his glass to clink together with hers. "To my mom. The devil take her."

Jean looked taken aback by that reaction but remained silent and they sipped their drinks, placing the glasses on the provided coasters and settling down for the catch-up they'd agreed to.

"So, a general, huh? Career military? I'd never have guessed you'd go for that, Jack."

"I guess I changed when I moved to Minnesota."

"I missed you for the longest time."

"Same here," he agreed with a crooked grin.

"Married?" she asked, noting he wore no ring on his finger.

"Divorced, but engaged to be married. You?"

"Widowed. Two kids, both flown the coop. Kieran, the eldest, he's working his way up in marketing. Kerry is still at college, studying maths of all things." Jean wrinkled her nose, maths having been one of her worst and least favorite subjects at school. "It's all way beyond little old me. You got any kids?"

"Um, no," Jack replied, and Jean detected a wistful and sorrowful tinge in his eyes as he spoke.

"What about you and your fiancee, are you planning a family?"

"We, um, we haven't really talked about that much."

"Oh. Maybe you ought to before you tie the knot."

Jack regarded her silently for a moment, picking up his beer and taking a sip before replying. "Maybe." He thought Jean was probably right about that. He'd love Sam to have their children, but what did Sam really want? They'd touched on the subject but never made any real decision and her career was so important to her. Perhaps he was too old to be thinking about a new family. "I'm getting too old for that kind of thing I guess," he voiced aloud.

"Nonsense. I bet you'd make a great dad," Jean replied with a grin. Jack wasn't sure he agreed with that statement, but said nothing. He had no wish to discuss his failings as a father with this woman.

"What's she like, your fiancee?" Jean prodded.

"The best. Brainy and beautiful," he responded wistfully.

"When are you getting married?"

Jack remembered their recent discussions about that and his promise to call the Academy to book the chapel, if that was even possible given how well used the venue was for weddings. Events had conspired to intervene. His thoughts drifted slightly, recalling the sullen and brusque way he'd treated Sam just before leaving for Chicago. She didn't deserve to put up with a man like him. She had earned way more than that; more love and more respect than he was able to give. The thought made him regretful. Everything had been going so well until…

He glanced at Jean, who expectantly awaited his response. "This coming fall we hope."

"No date fixed yet?"

"Not yet."

"And the Air Force. Are you a pilot Jack?"

"I have been." He was relieved to get away from the subject of Sam, as he didn't really want to think about all of that right then. "I fly nothing but a desk these days. DC, the Pentagon."

"I'm impressed. What exactly is it you do?" she probed.

"It's dull and desperately boring," he lied, the untruth tripping off his tongue with ease.

"And your fiancee? What does she do?"

"Air Force too. She's one hell of an officer," he smiled at that thought. "So enough about me, what about you?" Jack picked up the beer again, raising it to his lips and taking a long draught, almost finishing the glass. "You want another?" he asked and Jean nodded, downing her remaining vodka in one.

Sitting at her desk in the depths of Cheyenne Mountain, Sam's fingers clattered over the keyboard as she tried to immerse herself in work rather than think about Jack. Man, was she pissed with him. He hadn't called. Not only that but, although she knew he'd obtained a new cell phone and called the Pentagon to give them his number, he had singularly failed to pass any such information to her. She had no idea how to contact him.

Tempted though she was to call his staff and ask for it, Sam was both way too embarrassed and annoyed. She imagined the gossip it might provoke throughout the Pentagon if she called for the new number, not a good thing for either her or Jack, and her anger prompted her to think she should let the infuriating Jack O'Neill stew.

Daniel had been surprised Jack hadn't taken Sam to Chicago with him, but Sam hadn't revealed anything of what had transpired over those couple of fateful days in LA. Although she longed to confide in someone, pour out the misgivings in her heart and the ache that wrenched it, she couldn't bring herself to talk to her friend about it. Maybe he was too close to both of them.

Besides, Daniel was so wrapped up in his infatuation with Francine that it seemed all he could talk about was her impending visit to Colorado Springs and the intimate moments they would share. Sam had no desire to spoil that for him. Daniel deserved some happiness and if Francine could provide that, she was all for it, however unlikely the pairing might seem.

Not for the first time, Sam regretted the lack of close women friends she could open her heart to. Janet was gone, and she missed her terribly, particularly at a time like this, and Betsy was too far away in DC. Besides, she wasn't sure she wanted to reveal any of her current thoughts to Betsy. Who could she talk to about the dark side of Jack O'Neill? Betsy might tell her she was a fool to love him, but Sam didn't believe that to be true and didn't want to hear it. Janet might have understood because she had known Jack so well.

Come to think of it, Daniel would probably understand too. In his own peculiar way, he loved Jack too, despite the flaws all his friends knew he had. But he didn't know about those intimate details Jack had confided in her alone, those ghosts of his past she had felt so honored to have revealed to her. Sam could never tell Daniel about that. If Jack wanted him to know, he would tell him, and she seriously doubted Jack would want him to know.

If not for the untimely death of Mrs O'Neill, this should have been a time to celebrate. Instead, here she was depressed and alone. It was selfish of her, she knew, but they'd come so close to setting a date for the wedding. Sam thought she should have been planning excitedly, sharing the good news, but she didn't have the heart. Without first talking to Jack, how could she do anything or even tell anyone? But it seemed he wasn't talking to her and Sam was no longer sure of what he wanted anymore. She wasn't even sure of what she wanted.

The keyboard fell silent as she sat back in her chair, scrubbing her hands through her hair. She needed to talk, to get it out of her system. Considering her options, she came to the only conclusion she could reach, and chuckled at the irony of it, getting up to go find Teal'c. Jeez, it was really something when the one person you think you can talk to turned out to be from another planet.

Knocking softly at his door, she entered at the sound of his voice. Although he didn't need to Kel'no'reem anymore, Teal'c sat crossed-legged in contemplation, surrounded by a plethora of lighted candles.

"May I join you Teal'c?" she asked.

"You are most welcome, Colonel Carter," he said, inclining his head in a small bow.

She sat on the floor opposite him and stared into the candlelight, thinking about what to say.

"You are troubled," he stated in his usual all knowing way.

"Yes."

"You believe I may be of assistance?"

"Yes."

"It is O'Neill, is it not?" As ever, he seemed to know the root of everything. On the other hand, what else could it be?

"Yes." She met his deep brown eyes and saw the look of enquiry there. "You won't tell Jack will you?"

"You know I will not. Is that not why you chose to come to me?" he affirmed and she nodded, knowing Teal'c was the one person she could trust implicitly. He would not reveal her heart or words to anyone, and he would not judge either her or Jack. He would just be; be there for her or whoever chose to confide in him, a stoic and wise man that might advise her about her troubled thoughts. Once again she considered the irony of the situation.

So she told Teal'c everything, opening her heart and soul to him. She recounted some of Jack's chequered past, his life of misery with his parents, the darkness that lay at the root of his soul, and the demon he could become.

Teal'c said nothing except to prompt and encourage her when she faltered, simply listening and allowing her words to tumble out as she chose. The very act of telling him helped salve her aching heart and started to heal. He didn't need to say anything, she did. What she required was the rock of a man who she knew without doubt would support and sustain her, and she got that.

As she spoke, Sam drew closer and closer and, by the time she had finished, wrung out by the process of confession and revelation, she was propped against him, his comforting strong arm enfolding her as her head leaned against his muscular shoulder, and she was weeping softly.

"But you love him deeply do you not? How much are you willing to forgive?" he asked eventually.

"I don't know Teal'c. Almost anything."

"You know he loves you." It was a statement, not a question.

"He's crazy about me. That's one of the things that makes it so hard. Why does he have to…?" she tailed off, uncertain how to voice her thoughts.

"Because he is O'Neill," Teal'c replied and Sam responded with a small chuckle.

"He is that." She squeezed Teal'c's arm affectionately, and he took her hand in his.

"O'Neill is a strong warrior who has lived through much, lost much, and still survived, but not without damage. That is not possible, Samantha." Sam was surprised by Teal'c's use of her given name but said nothing. She liked that he referred to her by it in this intimate moment and waited for him to speak again, knowing he had more to say. "I do not believe O'Neill would survive your loss as well."

Sam paused, shocked by those thought provoking words. "Don't worry, Teal'c, he isn't going to lose me. I couldn't bear to lose him either," she ventured.

"Then you have forgiven and are willing to fight his demon by his side. I am glad. It is settled. You will marry and have many children."

She laughed. "Many children? We hadn't planned on that."

"Indeed? You do not wish to procreate with O'Neill?" Teal'c appeared to be perplexed about this puzzle and Sam grinned at his confusion.

"Yes I do, very much."

"I do not understand."

"It might be too late for that, Teal'c. I'm way past my prime." This discussion was starting to surprise Sam, who was vaguely embarrassed by it, despite having confessed her darkest, deepest thoughts and doubts to the Jaffa. "But we could have a lot of fun trying," she added with a nervous giggle, meeting his eyes and noting the slight smirk that tinged his lips.

"Indeed. Of that I am certain," he said, astonishing her once again.

Although he had said little, the whole experience of this intimate time spent with

Teal'c had been cathartic, cleansing her of doubt. Jack would come back to her, this much she knew. It was possible they might never discuss what had happened in LA, or even his current visit to Chicago, and that no longer mattered to her. Sam simply wanted him to come home, to hold him in her arms, make love to him, marry him and live with him for the rest of their lives.

Words weren't important; it was actions that counted for something. Jack was never that great with words, although he had many good moments, but he was the best when it came to actions and she knew he would make amends in his own way, in his own time. Sam was willing to wait.

Jack was a little tipsy, but not drunk. Jean was good company and they talked, and talked. Not intimately, because Jack would never allow that and Jean learned that lessen quickly, and well, but in more general terms about life, love and friendship.

They even discussed Jack's hero, Homer Simpson, and the show's humorous and satirical view of the world, life and family, and their great country, the United States of America, and discovered a shared love for the sardonic animation. It was a pleasant way to while away the afternoon after the funeral of his mother and Jack could think of nothing he'd rather have been doing at that moment.

Although he was taken aback when Jean leaned in to kiss him, he didn't fight it as he so needed that reassurance, along with everything she seemed to offer, and he turned the simple kiss into something filled with passion, pulling her close and kneading her back with his long fingers. When they drew back from it, he was breathless with desire and captured her eyes, not wanting to relinquish the moment.

"We never did get around to the sex thing," she whispered.

"We were too young for that."

"But we aren't now."

"No we aren't." He wondered if she really was suggesting what he thought she implied.

"So, how about it, General O'Neill? One night of passion?" Her breath in his ear made him shiver with anticipation and one of his hands ventured to the thighs he'd groped so many years before. Man, he needed the comforting relief and release sex would bring and he needed it badly. Jack was more than ready.

"I'd like that," he responded, voice cracked with longing.

They rose from the couch in silence and she took his hand and led him out of the bar, hailing a cab and giving the driver her address. Like a couple of teenagers, they fumbled with each other in the back seat, Jack's hands massaging her breasts while one of her hands strayed to his crotch.

"My, how you've grown!" she commented with a seductive titter.

When they reached her house, Jack paid for the cab and let her lead him inside, seemingly under some kind of spell. As soon as they entered, he pushed her against the wall of her hallway, enclosing her lips with his and undoing her jacket to reveal the blouse beneath. One hand pulled it out from the skirt and wandered below, enclosing a breast and squeezing, while the other meandered under the skirt to the tops of her thighs, caressing the bare skin between her stocking top and panties, and then moving up to her ass.

"Oh, Jack, I want you now. I always wanted you," she declared.

"Me too. Looks like we're about to fulfil that wish, Jean. Where's the bedroom?"

She smiled, kissing the tip of his nose, and raised her hands to stop his progress. "This way," she said and her hand grasped his arm, leading him there. Jack's demon was rampant.

To be continued


	28. Never Alone: Full Disclosure

I hope those who are continuing to read this series enjoy this (much longer) chapter of the story!

Content Warnings: Use of mild language, plus a couple of more vulgar expletives.

Pairings: Jack/Sam

Spoilers: None

Summary: "There's some stuff I want to tell you, need to tell you" - What can Jack tell Sam about what happened in Chicago, and how will whatever he tells her affect their relationship?

Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

Author's Note: Many thanks to Flakatsi for taking a look at this part and giving me such helpful suggestions and advice. This chapter is dedicated to those of you who continue to believe.

**Never Alone: Full Disclosure**

Immersed in working on her laptop, Sam heard nothing, feeling rather than hearing him enter the room. Gasping with surprise, she looked up to meet forlorn darkened eyes staring at her from the doorway. Jack said nothing: no hellos, no apologies, not even a small "hey", but none of that mattered to Sam. His eyes spoke the words he was unable or unwilling to voice. He was there and needed her, that much was clear, and it was way more than enough to know that simple fact.

Meeting his silence with silence, Sam simply rose from her chair and approached, opening her arms and pulling him into them. At first he didn't react, his body stiff and unbending, but then she felt the rigidity and tension of his muscles loosen and relax into her embrace, his arms then moving to tighten around her body as if his life depended on that warmth and comfort.

The only movement was the rocking and swaying of their bodies as they held each other close, and the only sound was Jack's heavy breath in her ear as he tried to reign in pent up emotions. When he buried his face in her neck, Sam could have sworn she heard a small sob, and she squeezed him tighter, not sure if she was mistaken but knowing if she wasn't, Jack wouldn't want her to see his misery.

After the longest time of simply holding each other close, Sam slowly pulled back, searching his eyes and finding a disturbing bleakness within. Taking his hand in hers, she led him to the couch, urging him to sit, bending and running her fingers through his soft grey hair. His dark eyes glistened with moisture, but he was in Jack-like control of his boiling emotions, tearing his eyes away from hers as they showed what he didn't want to reveal.

Sam crouched in front of him, removing his shoes before sitting beside him and pushing his head into her lap. Jack swung his legs up onto the couch and let her hold him and stroke his face and hair with her delicate fingers, closing his eyes and content just to be there with her, knowing she knew and understood. No words were required, and none were exchanged.

Later, at some ridiculous hour of the morning, Jack woke, head still cradled in her hands. Sam's head lolled against the back of the couch and she slept, peaceful and beautiful in that restful repose. Reluctant to wake her, he merely stared at her lovingly for a while, contemplating what a lucky man he was to have such a woman love and care for him. Reaching up a hand, he softly ran his thumb over her cheek, a small quirky smile on his lips. Then he sat up, softly kissing her brow.

"I'm so sorry, Sam," he whispered to her sleeping form. "Please forgive me."

Heart heavy with guilt and dread, he soothingly urged her awake and led her, half asleep, into the bedroom. With tenderness that many would not believe was possible from such a man, Jack removed her clothing, and she murmured, partially opening her eyes. He bent to kiss her cheek, sliding her between the sheets and encouraging her to continue her slumber.

Filled with remorse that he had let her hold, comfort and love him having said nothing and deserving none of her consolation, Jack didn't slip in beside her. What he had wordlessly allowed to happen when arriving had been wrong on so many levels and he couldn't bring himself to follow one, or many, wrongs with yet another.

He had so needed that comfort, to feel Sam's touch and embrace, that he'd selfishly said none of the things he needed to say, nothing to right the sins he had committed against the woman he loved so deeply.

"You're a bastard, O'Neill, a total shit!" he muttered under his breath, wrenching his gaze away from her peaceful and innocent beauty. "She's earned better; a way better man than me."

Moving away and back into the living room, he stretched out on the couch and, despite the guilt in his soul and some brief musings about what he should tell her the next morning, he fell into a deep restful sleep, the first decent night's sleep he'd had in days - the sleep of the damned.

Sam awoke next morning, an arm stretching out to meet nothingness beside her and she opened her eyes with a start. The sheets weren't crumpled on the other side of the bed, and the pillow showed no sign of his head having rested there. This both puzzled and disturbed her. Where was Jack? Hadn't he slept?

Filled with concern, she got up and hastily grabbed a robe to put on, checking spare beds before quietly poking her nose around the living room door and finding him asleep on the couch. Setting off to the kitchen, she poured some orange juice into a glass and returned to the living room, sitting on a chair to watch her fiancee as he slept and await his awakening.

She supposed he'd been too restless to settle beside her and, not wishing to disturb her, had ventured here to think whatever tumultuous thoughts he was thinking, eventually falling into a fitful sleep. Sam was well aware his mother's death had traumatized and distressed him, probably way more than he was ever likely to admit, perhaps even to himself. His uncharacteristic behaviour in LA and on his return last night, as well as his failure to contact her while in Chicago, told her a lot about his feelings, maybe more than he imagined she would know or understand.

Over the course of their relationship, she had come to learn and comprehend so much about the man she loved. Sure, he could still be a conundrum and surprise her, but that inner darkness he had revealed was less of a mystery to her now. She couldn't hope to understand or even know all of it but what she did know and understand was enough. Even if he never mentioned Chicago and his mother's death, even if he never alluded to their argument in LA and his errant behaviour, she could forgive him that and live with it.

His arrival the previous night had been totally unexpected. She'd believed he was flying straight to DC, and it was a good thing he'd come to the Springs, to her, right? He'd needed her. It was both that simple, and that complicated.

He stirred and the movement pulled her away from those thoughts as he opened his eyes. She smiled as those eyes met hers, and Jack thought he couldn't wish for anything more. Wordlessly, he arose, taking a hand in his as he loomed over her and kissing it gently before briefly disappearing to the bathroom. When he returned, he bent to kiss the top of her head, reaching to remove the orange juice from her hands and taking a large gulp.

She said nothing, trying to fathom the raging emotions in his eyes and deciding some lovemaking might be exactly what he needed to salve his soul right now. She wouldn't be averse to the notion either. So she spoke at last.

"Come to bed? Make love to me?"

Standing and moving to kiss him, she was taken aback when he turned his head away to avoid her lips, and caught her arms to gently discourage her.

"Jack?" she queried quietly, a look of puzzlement on her face. It was unusual for her lover to reject a sexual advance.

"I'm so sorry, Sam," he whispered, the first words uttered since his surprise arrival, or at least while she was awake to hear them. "I love you." Jack noted the small smile that appeared on her face, but she said nothing for a long time.

He let her go and one of her fingers ran gently over his chest. "Love you too," she muttered, surprised when he moved away, stalking over to the window, opening a curtain and, with his back turned, peering out into the bright blue sky of the day. Sam knew when to take a hint. Something profound was troubling Jack and she assumed it was his mother's death and events in Chicago, so she waited for him to speak, willing him to turn and face her, but he didn't.

"I'm an ass," he said at last.

"You can be." She longed to offer him the comfort of her arms and lips, the warmth of her body, but instead she simply stared at his back, not making any move towards him while she decided how best to handle this obviously bleak mood. "I thought you were going back to Washington."

He turned to face her at those words. "I couldn't. I had to see you. I had to show you how sorry I am. I can't do that down a phone line. You know me and words." The smile of his small self-deprecating chuckle did not reach his eyes.

"How was Chicago?" she asked, sensing much disquiet, so hurriedly added, "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it."

Briefly, Jack looked pensive, biting his bottom lip and, with pangs of concern, she wondered what was going through his head. Before he replied, Sam noticed him pull a mask over the boiling emotions that had previously dominated his expression, eyes and demeanour, but the quiet and sorrowful tone of his next words did nothing to dispel her unease.

"Um, let's go make some coffee. I need caffeine. There's some stuff I want to tell you, need to tell you." It was true that he needed the hit of caffeine to bolster his courage, but also the act of making it would give him more time to think and put off, if only for a few minutes, the confrontation that was an inevitable consequence of what he had to confess.

Her eyes remained captured in his gaze and she knew immediately something was wrong, something more than the death of his mother and the funeral, and wanted to press for more. Instead, she nodded agreement and followed as he decamped to the kitchen.

They remained mainly silent, Jack insisting she sit at the table while he made the coffee, and refusing her offer of breakfast. The silence was only broken once they were sitting with a drink in front of them. Normally such a silence would have been intimately companionable, but not this time, and Sam waited anxiously for Jack to find the right words and reveal his troubled thoughts.

Jack's head was reeling with words, both right and wrong. What could he say and how would whatever he said affect their relationship? He loved this woman so much and the idea he might lose her made him sick at heart. But surely he wouldn't lose her, not now? He had to believe that. He could have decided to say nothing but couldn't live with lies, not with Sam. Never.

Long silent moments followed during which Jack fidgeted and tried to cover his discomposure by fiddling with his cup, thus exposing his turmoil more than he realised, but eventually abandoned the cup, grasping her hand and settling his previously wavering gaze on her eyes.

"Something happened in Chicago, I, um, I met someone." His words were quietly hesitant but Sam had no thoughts in her head about what he might be hinting at. Why would she have any suspicions about fidelity or betrayal?

"Oh?" she queried, waiting patiently for clarification. Jack steadfastly held her gaze, although that was hard as he was so ashamed of what he was about to reveal.

Then he began, the words tumbling out in no planned or considered way, merely the truth he needed her to know, and all the time he kept her gaze trapped in his, willing her to understand and forgive, and to know he loved her and only her, always and forever.

"An old flame came to the funeral. I didn't even recognise her at first. Jean Kelly, the first love of my life I guess. We were close. As intimate as two people can be at that age when you're too young to take it all the way. I got packed off to Minnesota and we never saw each other again. We went for a drink after the funeral, catch-up, talk about old times, all that, and-and one thing led to another and-and… aw crap…!"

Sam's face sported a surprised, verging on shocked, expression and she snatched her hand away from his, suspicions aroused. Although he had said nothing overt about what might have happened, her brain filled with confused and anxious thoughts. 'One thing led to another? It sounds like he meant… it sounds… no, not Jack! Never Jack!'

"What the hell does that mean, one thing led to another?" she asked accusingly, voice raised with irritation, while her mind waited for the clarity it required.

"Not quite what you might think."

She breathed a sigh of relief and then considered those words. "Not quite? What exactly?" She glowered at him momentarily, and then her gaze dropped away and she uncertainly stared at some point of nothing on the table waiting for more.

Taking a deep breath, he garbled his words. "Um… w-we kissed. We fumbled bit. I went back to her place and…" The look on Sam's face as she looked up at him in wide-eyed horror and disbelief made him pause.

Sam was appalled, the implications of his revelation jostling for attention inside her head, but she took a deep calming breath, determined not to overreact until she knew more. Was Jack trying to tell her he'd cheated? Jack O'Neill? It seemed so unlike almost everything she knew and believed about him that she could barely think it could be possible. Not Jack. Never Jack. He was a principled man, a good man - the best.

"Exactly what happened?" she asked coldly, dry mouthed, not sure she really wanted to know the answer to that question, but realising she had to face up to whatever it was he'd done. She was wondering why he had to tell her. If she didn't know then they didn't have to face the consequences, and she dreaded what those might be. "S-something… more happened between you?"

"Something, yes. But we never had sex, if that's what you're thinking. We-we… just… I needed… shit! I'm so sorry Sam. I don't know what to say, what to tell you."

Jack longed to tear his eyes away. The pain he saw in Sam's was close to unbearable, and he recalled the hurt he'd seen in Jean's when he'd come to his senses as they crossed the threshold of her bedroom. They never made it to the bed, never took their mutual desire and desperate need beyond the kind of heavy petting they'd known in their youth, not even that far, but they'd came close enough that they were left frustrated and irritated.

Jack couldn't do it, couldn't be wholly unfaithful to Sam and, more to the point, he didn't want to be. Amongst the desolate wretchedness, the disquieting and unexpected sense of terrible loss, and the consequent urge for devilment, Jack had found the will to fight the demon, and won.

Nevertheless they had gone far enough, much further than he should have allowed. Anything beyond a kiss was too far, or even a kiss, and he had gone for it almost without a struggle. Falling over himself in his desire to escape, Jack had apologised to Jean wholeheartedly, knowing he was entirely to blame for letting it go that far, and called a cab, returning to the hotel.

As soon as he got back to his room, he thrust himself under the shower in an attempt to scrub away his shame. And scrub he did, hard and long, willing the hot water to soothe his dark, battered and guilt-ridden soul. Then he leaned heavily against the wall in despair. His eyes scrunched up into a twisted travesty and he grasped head in hands, squeezing firmly to try easing the thumping ache in his head. He couldn't stop thinking… thinking… thinking…

Crap! What had he done? Fist found wall and he yelped as the pain shot through it and up his arm and, once again, threw himself at the mercy of the water's power, soaping up and scrubbing some more. Nothing worked and, in a supreme effort to find comfort, Jack satisfied his now raging frustration with a fast, furious hand.

He almost called Sam then, but couldn't bring himself to talk to her, not on the phone, not with the weight of so much guilt on his shoulders. Instead he called the airport to change his flight plans and packed his bag, making it to the airport with minutes to spare before the Colorado Springs bound plane took to the air.

Although he had made up his mind he would tell her all about it as soon as he got to Sam's, once he'd arrived Jack lacked he courage to speak up, so said nothing, instead doing what he needed most, sleeping in the comfort of her arms, and cherishing every moment as if it might be the last, because maybe it would be. If he had destroyed what they had, he would never forgive himself, and he wasn't sure how he would live with it, or without her.

"Exactly how far did it go?" she asked through thinned lips, in a tone of barely suppressed anger and pain.

He could see the fury flash in her eyes and briefly turned away from her scorn, but not for long. He had to face this, whatever the consequences might be, and Sam deserved to know the truth. She'd earned that, and way more. His actions in Chicago might have belied his respect for her, but Jack held this woman in very high esteem and hoped he could convince her of that, and that he could be trusted despite what had happened.

Sam, meanwhile, couldn't quite comprehend what he was telling her. So they hadn't had sex, but what had happened? They'd kissed and that was bad enough, though not unforgivable, but what did he mean by fumbling? How far had he gone? Sam was now determined to hear all of it so she could consider what to do in the light of full disclosure, so she was willing to listen, to get to the truth, although her resentment smouldered inside ready to burst forth at any moment.

"I'm waiting Jack. I'm listening - for now," she replied with a coolness that gave a lie to her tumultuous feelings and thoughts, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms in front of her in a defensively closed posture.

"For crying out loud, how much detail do you want?" he asked plaintively, overwhelmed by shame.

"You think I'm going to make this easy for you, Jack O'Neill," she snapped, loosing some of her ire. "Think again!"

Jack totally understood why she was pissed with him. How would he react in similar circumstances? Not well he realised with rising nausea, not well at all.

"We came this close to going the whole way," he confessed, holding his thumb and forefinger so close together you could hardly see the space between. Jack didn't know what else to say, what else she needed from him, but he'd do anything, including beg if necessary. "But we never even took our clothes off, Sam. It was… we were like two young teenagers in the back seat of a car. I-I groped her, I kissed her. Bad enough, I know, but that's all that happened."

Maybe it wasn't as bad as she might have imagined, but Jack was right to say it was bad enough, and Sam was furious, giving full vent to her anger at last.

"How… how could you walk into my house and say nothing? Let me take you in my arms and sleep with your head on my lap? No wonder you didn't want to make love this morning, you bastard!" she screamed angrily, throwing her coffee cup at the wall with rage, rising from her chair and unexpectedly swinging for him. The flat of her hand hit his cheek with a stinging slap and Jack reeled, shocked by that reaction, but willing to let her beat the crap out of him if that was what it took.

For a moment, she loomed over him menacingly and Jack made no move to defend himself, his eyes almost begging her to do her worst. Then Sam held her hand to her mouth, gasping in horrified disbelief at her action. "Oh my god!"

"Don't pull your punches, I deserve it," Jack responded in a small voiced whisper, rubbing his reddened cheek and wincing. She just looked at him in dismay, still disbelieving she had hit him. Then she moved away, thumping the counter top to loose more of her fury at Jack, at herself for losing control and at the world in general.

After that she started pacing the room feverishly, taking deep breaths, trying to calm down and not even attempting to avoid the shards of coffee cup and splattered beverage strewn over the floor. She said nothing until throwing herself back into the chair, determined to approach this like the adult she was instead of the scared, angry and jealous teenager inside who was trying to sabotage her best efforts.

"So, what… you groped her, you kissed her? What Jack? What does that mean?"

"You want the gory details?" he asked, slightly taken aback, although he figured he probably shouldn't be surprised. What would he want to know if she had confessed something similar? Everything? Nothing? He guessed he probably would never even have let her get this far before walking out in fury and with a broken heart, and had to admit he admired her restraint.

"Yes, I want the fucking details, you moronic bastard. You've come this far, although why I'm not sure, but finish it, damn you! What the fuck were you thinking?"

He'd hardly moved since starting his confession but now sat forward and sunk his head into his hands, humiliation overcoming him. Despite her military background, where she encountered vulgar language on a daily basis, Sam rarely used it herself and for her to use that particular crude expletive right now told him much about her pent up emotions. The humiliation he felt was probably nothing to what Sam was feeling right now. He deserved to feel humiliated, and humbled.

"I wasn't thinking," he said, disconsolately. "I wasn't thinking about you at all. I was totally self-centred. I wasn't really thinking about anyone but me and what I wanted and needed. And what I really wanted and needed was consolation, Sam. I didn't really want the kissing or anything else, and I didn't really want Jean. I just… I needed company, I needed warmth and friendship." He scrubbed his hands through his hair in a hopeless manner, sighing and thinking he was saying this all wrong. With the inadequacy of his words, Jack felt didn't feel he has any hope of making her understand.

"Well it sounds like this went just a little bit further than that Jack," she spat, anger resurfacing. She was impatient to get more, more detail and more of an explanation.

"I know it," he admitted, looking up at her again and attempting not to shy away from her wrath by keeping his eyes firmly fixed on her face. Jack searched her eyes only to find her need for more, so resigned himself to providing it, however hard it was for him to tell her, however much he didn't want to cause her more pain. Hadn't he caused enough heartache already?

Sam kept thinking this situation was crazy and tried to quell the rising sense of panic. Surely it just wasn't possible? Not Jack. Never Jack. She had trusted him, had never believed anything like this would happen, but it had. How could she trust him now? How could she forgive him? How could he have let it happen? They had been so happy, or so she thought.

Everything inside her was screaming he'd wronged her, but at the same time she reasoned he was grieving, and understood his need for consolation and friendship, but this… She felt tears of her own grief and heartbreak in her eyes and tried to blink them back and keep herself under control.

Jack could see the internal fight she was waging and it broke his heart that he was the cause of all this anguish. "I'm not sure I can ever find the right words, Sam, the right words to explain, the right reasons and excuses."

"Try."

"You know I'll do anything… anything to take your pain away. Anything to make it right." He paused and she said nothing, waiting for the more she expected and needed. Sam's patience was wearing thin and Jack could see that from the dark expression in her eyes, so he stumbled on.

"It all seemed so innocent at first. It was good to see an old friend at the funeral. I guess it felt good that someone cared enough to come. She suggested we go for a drink and I'd been going to drink alone but the idea of company, well, I never thought I wanted that. I thought I wanted to tackle it all alone, hide away as much as possible to lick my wounds. That's one of the reasons I didn't want you there, but it seems I needed it after all."

"Jeez, the number of times I wished you were there," he admitted, starting to get animated at last and gesticulating with his hands in a typically O'Neill like way. "So many times I regretted leaving you behind, so many. I would start to call and lose my nerve because I couldn't face up to how stupidly wrong I'd been, or how I'd behaved towards you before I left LA. I guess…"

He could see she still needed more and sighed heavily, wishing Sam would react, but she didn't, merely waiting in silence. Her watery eyes and pinched pink cheeks were the only outward signs of the commotion he knew must be raging inside her. She was right to be angry, right to be hurt, and he was entirely in the wrong. He knew he couldn't shift or shrug off that responsibility, and didn't want to, but he hardly understood how and why it had happened himself, let alone have the ability to explain it to her satisfaction.

"Okay, so we talked for a long time, catching-up and reminiscing as I said, and-and she leaned over to kiss me. I-I didn't even think about it, just pulled her into my arms and kissed back… wanting… needing… something, almost anything, I guess." Jack kept his eyes on her as he spoke, continuing without much of a pause to allow her to comment, knowing if she wanted to, she would.

"It was all my fault, Sam. Jean might have started it, and that surprised me. I had no idea she-she still yearned for that after all these years, but none of it is her fault. S-she kind of hinted at having sex and I was horny as hell, and lonely as hell too. I'd just been to my own mother's funeral, damn it. I was pretty upset. More than I realised. I was angry, hurting, hating myself for hating her, hating myself for loving her. Just hating myself I guess. I was always unworthy of love, Sam; hers, or she didn't seem to think so, Sara's, yours… But right at that moment, it was what I needed, or the closest I could come to it."

Those words saddened Sam deeply. Jack did deserve love. He'd fought for it and earned it from at least two damned good women, if she included herself, and possibly more than that. How could he believe he was unworthy? She almost folded then, her desire to ease the awful self-hatred eating at him close to overwhelming, but she stopped herself. She still needed answers to the many questions raging in her head, and she deserved to get them before she could decide how to move forward.

Faced with silence and not much clue as to what Sam was thinking, Jack persisted. "Grief does weird things and sometimes makes you do weird things – things you wouldn't normally do. I figure you already know that." He looked at her confirmation that she understood that much but didn't find it, although he suspected she did know it.

"But I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm just trying to explain. I need to understand it as much as you do. I-I'm a one-woman man, not really the unfaithful type, I hope you know that. Maybe you don't, but I'm not. It might be asking a lot, but you have to trust me on that one."

Sam could see that truth in his eyes and realised she did know that, or had certainly suspected it. All that time they had worked together, well, Jack wasn't exactly Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise. She realised that for all she knew he might have been unfaithful every day to Sara while they were married, but she knew Jack well enough to know that was unlikely. Also, for all she knew, he might have gone home from the SGC to a different woman each night, but that was equally unlikely. Jack O'Neill might have been something of a dark horse, keeping much of his life and thinking to himself, but her gut instinct and knowledge told her he wasn't that man.

When she said nothing, he continued to provide that detail he was so embarrassed to reveal, but she seemed to crave so much. "We got a cab back to hers and might have got a little too carried away, I guess. I don't think I was even trying to control it or hold it back."

It was then that the tears started to roll down her cheeks. It wasn't uncontrollable weeping, but her emotions had certainly got the better of her. Jack gasped in dismay but understood the last person she needed comfort from right now was him. Her expression of fundamental sorrow on her face tore him apart.

"Sam, I don't want to hurt you like this. I don't want to tell you all this…"

"But you're going to aren't you?" she said with a cracked voice wondering if she really cared that he could see her pain so openly. He didn't deserve to be let off lightly, and she needed to hear, however reluctant both of them were to deal with this in so many ways.

Jack, meanwhile, could feel the emotion of the moment starting to conquer him too, and sympathetic tears, maybe some for him as well as Sam, pricked at his eyes but they didn't match hers by dampening his cheeks because he used everything he had to rein them in.

"When I say we got a bit carried away in the cab, I mean… nothing really happened. I-I just groped at her breasts a bit, you know?" His expression was so bleak and full of self-loathing that Sam's heart wrenched for him again, but she steeled herself to think about her, and not him. Screw him! However, she couldn't staunch the flow of water from her eyes and Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out some clean tissues, handing them over to her.

"What about her, Jack. What was she doing all this time?" she asked though the tears, her first words since he'd started on his sorry tale.

"Um, you really want to…? Shit Sam, don't put yourself through this." He paused but could see a look of determination on her face even while she wiped her eyes and blew her nose with one of his proffered tissues, and this forced him to continue.

"I-I think she was kind of feeling up my crotch." He sucked in a breath, "And I was getting hornier, I remember that. When we got to her place I so nearly... In the hall we-we… I know it was way more than I should have allowed, and it wasn't exactly innocent, but it wasn't much more than had already happened. M-my hand might have wandered under her skirt and grasped at her thighs and I-I remember her breasts…"

"Then we made our way to her bedroom and… we never made it inside. I clearly recall your face coming into my mind, although I'm not sure why exactly because before that I don't really think I was thinking much of anything. It was like I w-was on autopilot or in a trance or something. But that's when I pulled back and stopped it. I came to my senses, walked out and went back to the hotel."

"Were you drunk?" she asked when she found her voice. Her head was reeling with this information. How could he have forgotten about her so easily?

While he pondered his reply, his gaze awkwardly shifting away from Sam's and roaming down to his now stone cold and untouched coffee, Jack wondered what was going through her head at these revelations. Perhaps he could have found a whole host of excuses for what had happened, but when it came down it, he had none and wasn't prepared to let himself get away with any easy way out. Truth or nothing. That was not only the best he could do, but he also knew it was his best shot with Sam. If he tried to cover up anything, if he lied even a little, they'd be finished and he still held some vague hope they could get through this mess.

"I'd been drinking but I wasn't drunk," he replied at last. "A little merry maybe, but not drunk. Stop trying to find excuses for me, Sam. I betrayed your trust and I don't know if you'll ever be able to forgive me for that, but I hope you can because I'm not sure what we'll do if you can't." Eyes resting on her at last, he was surprised to find her tears had stopped and her unforgiving and angry expression had softened. "I stopped it before it went too far, Sam. I really hope that counts for something."

"It does," she responded, looking thoughtful for the longest of silences, during which Jack waited mutely for judgement and retribution, the lengthy moments of agony almost too excruciating. "I'm thinking," she added, knowing he was desperate for a response, as if her physical attack and the tears hadn't already told him almost everything he needed to know.

Sam's emotions were akin to a long dormant volcano, bubbling and boiling deep down, an eruption due at any time. Quite honestly, she didn't know what to think. She needed time to digest this confession and reflect.

"What do I do, Sam?" he asked eventually, his expression desolate and fearful and his voice almost a whisper. "Tell me what to do. Tell me how to make it right."

"Make it right? Can you do that?" Sam wasn't sure she knew the answer to that question so knew damned fine Jack didn't.

"I don't know. Can I?"

She didn't reply, instead muttering almost as if to herself. "I never imagined you cheating on me, Jack. I always thought you were the faithful type."

"Cheating? Do you really believe that's what this was?" he protested defensively but wondering if he had been. Just because he and Jean hadn't had sex… Crap! "I know I did some things I shouldn't have, and I know it was wrong, but cheating? I don't really believe I was cheating, or not like a couple of people our age might think of as cheating. We aren't teenagers even if our hearts sometimes still seem that young. I am the faithful type, I told you that." She looked at him sharply as if wishing to catch him out in a lie. "I can see why you might have a problem believing that, but I am. You know it, don't you?"

His eyes were imploring her to understand and she hesitated momentarily before responding. "Yes, I know it. Or I thought I did." Her volume increased a notch with a slightly hysterical tone. "I need to think about it, Jack. I need some time. I want to be alone to think. I don't want you distracting me."

"You want me to leave?" His voice wavered emotionally, as he considered the connotations of that decision.

"Yes. For a while, Jack. Just give me a while. I'm still too angry, too upset. I can't think straight right now." The calmness of her tone did not match her words, but he could see she was restraining herself and was grateful for that. It was something to hang onto. At least she hadn't unceremoniously dumped him. "W-why don't you go out for a run or something? Maybe by the time you get back…"

By the time he got back, what? She'd be ready? She'd have made up her mind? He'd be judged and sentenced? What? He didn't voice his disquiet but just nodded and turned to leave the room to change, turning back briefly at the kitchen door. "I love you Sam. Don't ever doubt that."

Then he was gone and it wasn't until she heard the door close behind him that Sam let rip and allowed her tears to fall in shuddering sobs and gasps.

Once he left the house, Jack felt more desolate than ever and longed to punish himself, so started off with way too much speed. He tried to clear his mind of thought, and often he could succeed in doing that, let himself be almost absent while running, but in these circumstances that was way too hard and he was thinking far too much and too darkly for his own good.

Realising he hadn't actually drank anything that morning, certainly no water and not even the coffee, commonsense prevailed and he broke off to buy a bottle of mineral water, before attempting to better pace his run.

Jack wasn't sure how long he should leave her to think about things, so he determined to leave it as long as he could bear it. But he felt like crap so decided the run was probably a bust and sat in the park watching kids playing and ducks swimming up and down on the pond, thinking about how much he loved Sam and wanted to be with her, and hoping she felt the same way and could forgive him and trust him again.

He dreaded that he'd screwed their whole relationship up when he'd worked to hard to let her know him and love the person he really was rather than the man who had once been her CO.

Back at the house, Sam tried her best to stop feeling sorry for herself and think things through, getting up to clear away the broken cup and the now drying coffee from the floor. She still wasn't certain she'd heard enough to make up her mind, or understand what happened. But if Jack didn't understand it himself, what hope did she have of fathoming it?

Did he truly believe he hadn't been cheating? She wasn't sure what she thought of that, but could kind of see where he was coming from. The distinction in his mind seemed to be that he hadn't had sex with the woman and Sam could relate to that in some ways. If he had, she might never be able to forgive him, as it stood his was a mild transgression by comparison.

One of the things that mattered most to Sam was what lay in his heart, and she believed his feelings for her to be genuine, powerful and deep. She didn't really think for one moment that his love for her had waned or strayed and that was crucial to how she reacted to his indiscretion.

Jack was probably right to link his actions to his grief, albeit that she didn't believe he was trying to find excuses for his behaviour. She knew from bitter experience that death and grief could make a person behave uncharacteristically, and Jack had so many unresolved issues with his mother that her death must have hit him harder as a result. That kind of thing could haunt a person for years after the death of a loved one.

She recalled his words about being unworthy of love and they made her feel sick at heart for him. His childhood had been painful in too many ways and she knew he'd never believed his mother had loved him, but hadn't quite fathomed until now what a dreadfully deep impact this had had on his psyche. That apparent lack of love must have been very hard on a young boy and Jack had done well to come out of it as a relatively sane and normal man and make ten years of marriage to Sara work so well, the ten years before they lost Charlie that is.

That loss had tipped him over the edge. His demon had been loosed and had destroyed his marriage and everything he held dear. He'd done pretty well to recover from that blow too, and the many other setbacks he'd suffered over the years.

Even a little bit of knowledge about the human mind told her people who had been abused and unloved as children were frequently abusers themselves, and found love and relationships a hard if not impossible struggle. Often they couldn't really believe in or experience love - they didn't believe they deserved it and couldn't give it because they didn't really know or understand what it was.

Jack, however, both knew and understood how to give it. She was certain of that because he already had given his love to her, and continued to. He was a man with much love to give, indeed was full to overflowing with it. This was something she had never truly understood until they had embarked on their romance, and it had taken her by surprise. A very pleasant surprise it had been too. It seemed, however, his ability to accept being loved was badly damaged by his upbringing. That was a basic flaw and she was distressed for him.

But, fundamentally, he was still the good, decent and honorable man she had always believed him to be, although he had many great reasons not to be. He had overcome his background against all odds and she admired that about him. Now, to have that painful past and so many questions and heartaches left unresolved by the death of his mother, knowing he could never resolve any of it - that must be very difficult for him to accept.

She could understand why a demon lurked within him and sometimes caused mischief and mayhem. Jack, of course, would never seek for someone or something else to take responsibility for his actions and would find that excuse unacceptable, which is why he might never have been able to articulate any of this effectively, or even understand it. She had been surprised, if not shocked, by his brief but telling expression of it.

As she mulled all this over, she made another cup of coffee to compensate for the one she hadn't drunk, needing a routine task to occupy her while she pondered. Sam had searched his face and seen the truth amongst the self-hatred, love, contrition and guilt, and as she went about her routine, an argument raged inside her head. His confession hurt, no doubt about that, and she was angry. The notion he might cheat on her was painful in the extreme, but that was simply not like Jack. He'd stumbled, sure, but hadn't fallen. To her surprise, Sam realised she sincerely believed that.

Jack's pain, confusion, doubt and solitude had driven him towards consolation, and she could rationalise that, but in the end he hadn't truly erred, either in body or spirit. Sam knew he loved her deeply, and she returned that love and believed they were meant to be. In the final analysis, it was almost as simple as that. Not for the first time, she cursed herself for not having followed him to Chicago despite his wishes. She should have been there.

It wasn't that she believed he'd go running off to be unfaithful to her each time they were parted, she knew in her heart that wasn't true. One mistake does not negate many years of deep abiding trust and respect. But had she been there, she would have been able to console and soothe him when he needed it most. Instead he had yearned for and required that so very much and she hadn't been there to provide it.

She could have kicked herself for that because she had suspected he would find his mother's death more difficult than he had wanted to admit to either her or himself. That didn't mean she would shoulder the blame, and Jack wouldn't want her to do that either. He wouldn't even comprehend why she might try.

On the other hand, she was angry with herself for wanting so much to be able to forgive him. She loved him, and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. What he had done had not changed that. But this didn't mean she would let him walk all over her and treat her as he pleased. She'd broken two engagements to stop that happening, and would break theirs as well if she had to.

Some women might give up and never be able to trust their partner again after a confession such as Jack's but Sam wasn't one of those women. She didn't expect Jack to be either superhuman or a saint, although she did expect him to be faithful. But she understood why he questioned whether or not he'd truly cheated because when it came down to it, she didn't really believe he had either, and she didn't believe he would ever do it. His heart and soul belonged to her and with her, and she knew it.

Having had this internal debate, Sam felt much calmer and more able to deal with the crisis. No way would she give up on Jack because of one relatively minor transgression that happened when his thoughts were in turmoil and he wasn't his real self. He had stopped it before it went too far. As she had told him, that meant a lot - it meant almost everything.

Their love was rich and deep and it was going to take way more than these events to drive them apart. That didn't, however, mean she was going to let him off easily. He needed to understand that, love him she might, but she would not put up with just about anything to get him or keep him.

The house was silent as he opened the door, wondering what sort of reception would greet him. Peering gingerly around the living room door, his heart sank when he saw the grim expression on her face.

Sam had been over the arguments in her head a number of times and now Jack had returned and was probably expecting her to know her mind - and she did, didn't she? Or maybe she still needed some answers.

"I, um, am I back too soon?" he asked and she shook her head, indicating he should come in.

She looked uncomfortable perched on the edge of her own couch and Jack didn't attempt to sit beside her, fearing she would reject that proximity and choosing instead to sit on the armchair opposite.

"You don't want to take a shower?" she asked.

'What do you think? I need to know what you're feeling Sam. Please!' he thought. The words were desperately seeking to exit his mouth but he didn't let them, schooling himself to look composed and wondering whether she was doing the same and that's why she looked grim. He could wish, couldn't he?

"No. I um…" he left he sentence hanging and she nodded silently to acknowledge the words, not speaking for a while. The silence of waiting was killing Jack.

"Sam, what…?" he started after a long uncomfortable silence. Again he didn't finish and realised how terrified he was of what she might be thinking and what she would decide to do now.

Then she started. "So you believe you haven't cheated in your heart? Is that what you're trying to tell me, Jack?"

"I guess."

"But what the hell am I meant to think? That you didn't cheat? That somehow kissing and fondling this old flame of yours doesn't count for anything?"

"No. I could never ask that of you. I know it counts for something." He hung his head and allowed his eyes to roam over the carpet at his feet instead of meeting her hard gaze. "I know I did you wrong, Sam. I just don't know how to begin to tell you how sorry I am."

"Why did you tell me? I would never have known."

Initially Jack appeared to be puzzled by her question and then he shook his head sadly. "You really want me to lie to you?"

"Yes. No. Actually, I don't know. Sometimes it's better not to know things."

He looked up, unsure how to react to that and studied her for a while before replying. She turned her big blue eyes to meet his dark ones, surprised by the watery turbulence she found there. Jack was a man who could stay detached and emotionless under pressure, but the range of emotions in those eyes was staggering.

"I don't want that for us," he said in a low tone, stumbling over his words in a voice quivering with restrained emotions. "I don't want to have to lie, or to live a lie with you. You, this relationship and our life together are too important to me for that. I need you to trust and respect me more than anything. Love me too, I hope, but trust, respect; they're… so…" Frustrated by his inability to communicate, or so he supposed, Jack thumped the coffee table with the hand that, until then, he'd been using to articulate his words. "Shit! Damn it, that hurt!" he cried.

For the first time, Sam noticed his hand was bruised and swollen and she wondered what he'd done and when. No doubt trying to punish himself. She'd been too distracted to notice and regretted that but appeared unmoving, not yet reacting to his words, or at least covering her reaction well.

"I know I'm asking a lot, Sam," he continued, attempting to break through. The silence she greeted his words with made his heart break as Jack's hopes faded. 'Hit me, do anything, but not this!' he screamed in his head.

"I guess maybe I'm asking too much. I-I don't know how it happened. I don't know how I… Jeez, what was I thinking? I guess I wasn't. I-I just… I can't even start to make excuses, or ask forgiveness… You're worth more, way more."

She still said nothing, but small droplets of water in her eyes matched the tears verging on the brink in his. Jack wanted to take her in his arms, anything to comfort her, him too, but he couldn't. He didn't deserve that comfort even if she did and, at the moment, he had no right to comfort her. How could he when it was his actions that had broken her heart?

"I don't know what to say or do," he persisted. "What happened, it wasn't right and maybe it's unforgivable. But what happened wasn't… I didn't… aw, crap!" Jack paused, searching for words that didn't sound trite, but could find none. Trite would have to do. "I belong to you, Sam, body, heart and soul. I guess that sounds pretty hollow in the circumstances, but it isn't; I promise you that. I love you."

Having thought she'd got her emotions under control, they started to spill over again and tears fell once more. She was moved by what he told her, but realised she was still angry. But, how far could she punish him? She knew Jack was tearing himself apart inside because he'd hurt her and that was something he would hate himself for doing. It wasn't right to cause him pain in return when, although she might still be angry, she knew what she wanted, and what she wanted was Jack O'Neill. This was what he wanted and needed to hear more than anything.

"Sam…" he started, upset by her tears, but she didn't let him continue.

"Don't!" she cried out, voice catching in her throat. "My turn to talk I guess. How do I…? Christ. I'm nuts!" This time, she paused to search for the right words and when she spoke again her voice and demeanour had calmed again as she considered the outcome of her internal debate, which had raged inside her head a quite few times while he'd been out.

After some consideration, she carried on. "A lot of women, I guess they'd think I should dump you, shouldn't ever trust you again, all that. I'm annoyed with myself because I keep thinking that's how I should feel and react, but that's not what I want. I've known you for a long time, Jack, a very long time. You're one of the good guys, an honorable man. I'm not trying to find excuses, or maybe I am, I really don't know, but you were hurting, lonely, angry and hating yourself, but you fought and overcame the demon."

Jack breathed a ragged and emotional sigh of relief because it was then he knew she did understand, and maybe even forgave, and the faded hope of salvaging their relationship returned.

"I told you I wouldn't let that demon tear us apart and I meant it," she added with a sniff. "Come over here and hold me?"

He started to rise to his feet, shakily, but sat down again without approaching her. "I… Sam, I can't. I… You blame the demon? Well lucky me, but it's part of me, not an excuse or even a good reason." He wasn't prepared to let himself off lightly anymore than he expected her to.

"But I know you, Jack. I know you wouldn't do that to me. Not that man I love and respect so much. He would never do that." Although his guilt still weighed heavily, those words lifted his leaden heart and he marvelled at her faith in him. He didn't deserve it, or her.

"Oh god, you're way too good for me," he whispered, this time allowing himself the luxury of joining her on the couch and pulling her into his arms. Jack knew he was unworthy, but it seemed Sam didn't. How could he fail to be moved to the core by that?

"You're a son of a bitch, Jack O'Neill, but I love you. I can't help that. I guess I'll always love you."

"Yeah, well the bitch is dead, but I'm still her son all right." He kissed her hair as Sam's head burrowed into his chest. "One of these days maybe I'll do something you could never forgive."

"I hope that never happens," she replied, deliberately ignoring his reference to his mother, as she wasn't sure it was a subject they should get into right then. This had to be about them, and if he needed to talk through his feelings about his mom, he'd do it when he was ready, which might be never. Sam was well aware of that.

She looked up into his face, needing to give him a warning shot over the bows before they closed this discussion down.

"This time, well, this time… I guess I don't see what happened as cheating, not truly cheating… but if you ever do anything like that again I'll have your balls for breakfast, I swear." she said in a calm, calculated tone. "I might love you but I'm not sure I'd ever be able to forgive you. A lot of women do, or seem to, but there are lines that shouldn't be crossed if you want to keep that trust and respect."

"Never gonna happen. I promise. You think I want to risk losing you? I thought maybe I had, but… Jeez, Sam, why would I want any other woman but you? I'd have to be crazy, right?" She nodded agreement and a brief smile flittered across his face before his expression became sombre again. "I'm not sure I'll ever forgive myself for being so mindlessly dumb, so how can I expect you to forgive me? For a small moment in time I forgot you, forgot us, forgot everything I hold close in my heart. How could I do that? I'm so sorry I hurt you. I hate hurting you. Hurting you hurts me too and I loathe myself for doing it. I never intended… " His contrition was perceptibly genuine and Sam interrupted. She didn't need more words. He'd said enough and what they both needed now was time to heal.

"I know. Shhh, it's all right," she responded. Her hand smoothing through his short hair and she kissed his neck before burying her face in it. "Everything is going to be fine, you'll see."

They hugged in silence, until Jack shattered the quiet with words that took Sam by surprise, his tone filled to overflowing with wretchedness.

"Mom's gone."

"I'm so sorry, Jack," she replied, not sure what else to say, but starting to caress his back in a gesture of reassurance. She wondered what she would see if she looked into his eyes right now, but didn't pull her head up to find out.

"I-I guess I didn't expect to feel like this."

"She was your mom. It's never easy to lose a parent."

"I thought I hated her."

"But you don't?"

"I don't know. I… don't know." He sighed in a way that told her he was irritated by this uncertainty, and Sam felt him shudder in her arms.

"It's okay to be confused, Jack, and to be sad."

Although he said nothing more, and Sam didn't push it, Jack clung to her, ever more amazed at her capacity for love, no holds barred. It was him she loved like that. Him! That was everything he could have wanted and way more than he could have wished or hoped for. He was still pretty sure he hadn't earned it, which didn't mean he wanted it to ever stop. He would make himself worthy; he would make it up to her.

Once again he realised that adversity had brought them closer together rather than tearing them apart, and was truly grateful for that blessing, loving her more deeply and powerfully than ever.

To be continued

Author's Footnote: Thanks to all for the feedback to the previous chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one. I know I caused few hearts to flip dangerously when I posted the last chapter. Did you really believe I'd have Jack have sex with that woman? Shame on you:-) I hope this chapter has restored your faith in both me, and Jack!


	29. Never Alone: Mismatched Pairs

Title: Never Alone 29: Mismatched Pairs

Content Warnings: Use of mild language, plus use of one vulgar expletive

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Daniel/Other (Francine)

Spoilers: Small references to Seth, Threads and Ripple Effect

Summary: Although on the surface everything might seem normal between Jack and Sam, it isn't – the conversation isn't over yet.

Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

Author's Note: This chapter has not been beta read, so I have not sought the wisdom of friends. I remain firmly on the path I have chosen, and hope I have not erred too much while doing so, although no doubt that will be a matter of opinion. Dedicated to those of you who have asked for more Daniel/Francine, particularly Jack's real neighbour from hell - who knows who she is! ;-)

**Never Alone 29: Mismatched Pairs**

The woman smiled when she saw Daniel waiting, picking up her pace, dropping her case as she reached him, and pulling him into her arms.

"I've missed you," she declared, kissing him.

Daniel blushed, but gave way to the greater force that was Francine Butler. No point fighting it, and he wasn't sure he much wanted to.

"Likewise," he agreed when she let him come up for air. Although he was self-conscious about such a public display of affection, he realised no one at the airport gave two hoots about what they were doing. Kissing and cuddling was the thing to do at an airport, that and waiting.

His years at the SGC had wrought many changes on the archaeologist, but underneath it all he was still the shy scholar he had always been, although many who knew him might find that hard to believe these days. His closest friends realised, of course, and this was one reason why they considered Francine to be cheese to his chalk, or maybe chalk to his cheese. Whatever, as his good friend Jack O'Neill might say.

As they walked through the airport to pick up his car, Francine chattered away about this and that, but Daniel wasn't really paying much attention. Once he got Jack on his mind it went wandering, concerned for his friend's welfare.

Daniel was far from stupid, and knew something must be really wrong if Jack hadn't wanted Sam to go to Chicago with him. One thing the younger man knew for sure was that Jack was totally crazy about Sam and he couldn't fathom why the man would want Sam to stay behind at such a time.

To be honest, he was more than a little pissed he hadn't even known Jack had a living relative and was shocked to hear about his mother's death, as that must have meant she was alive and kicking up until then. The man certainly played his cards close to his chest. It wasn't easy being a friend of Jack O'Neill's. He never made anything easy.

Although Jack had never talked about her, Daniel couldn't believe that Jack wasn't upset by the loss, and thus it was very odd he didn't want Sam along for moral support. It was pretty clear to him that something had happened between Jack and Sam in LA. Sam hadn't said anything, but the astute Daniel couldn't have failed to notice she was upset and distracted, however much she tried to cover it up. Hence, he was worried, about Jack, about Sam and about their relationship.

He'd tried to jolly Sam out if her mood by prattling on endlessly about Francine and her forthcoming visit, expounding at great length about the things they might do while she was there, but Sam hadn't been jollied and probably now thought of him as akin to a love sick puppy. The things a guy does for friendship, and what thanks does he get?

It wasn't that he didn't moon over Francine, he did in his own way, but Daniel believed he had it under control, if one could be said to have anything under control as far as Francine Butler was concerned. He liked her a lot. She was good company, albeit slightly over effusive in public, although that aspect of her personality had calmed down a lot since they'd been together. They had great sex too, so Daniel wasn't complaining, far from it.

With Francine he had the best of all worlds, a woman he enjoyed being with but who lived in a different State, so therefore not in his pocket. He could bury himself in books and artefacts as much as he liked without her complaining because she wasn't around to complain. When he saw her, he gave her all the attention she wanted, and rightly deserved. Perfect!

Except he wasn't giving her any attention now and Francine wasn't stupid either. She noticed. It wasn't until they reached the car that Daniel realised she hadn't said anything for a few minutes. The silence was close to deafening. He looked up and she was regarding him speculatively.

"What's wrong, Daniel?" she asked, concerned.

"Nothing."

"Oh, come on, you haven't listened to a word I've said. In fact you've hardly noticed I'm here. Now I know I like to be the center of attention but there is definitely something wrong when one's lover doesn't even seem to realise you're in the same city! Spill."

He sighed resignedly, and half-smiled, nodding. "Okay. Let's get moving and I'll tell you on the way to my place."

"Sure. I just want to know you're all right."

"I'm fine. It's not me I'm thinking about."

"How like you darling." She smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek as he politely opened the passenger door for her. As he hopped into the driver's seat she added, "That's one of the things I adore about you, Daniel. Always thinking about other people and their problems."

Daniel grinned and, after starting the engine, reached over to stroke Francine's cheek briefly, then turned his eyes towards the exit and drove off.

"You look great, by the way," he commented, glancing at her admiringly.

"So you did notice I'm in the same city."

"How could I miss the most beautiful woman in town?"

Francine laughed throatily, shaking her long raven locks. "Flatterer!"

"Do I get any additional Brownie points?" he asked in an innocent tone, to be met by another Francine laugh. He so loved that deep throaty laugh and enjoyed provoking it in her. Daniel had never really considered he had that much of a sense of humor, but Francine seemed to like it, which pleased him.

"Only if you tell me what's bothering you."

Keeping his eyes on the road, Daniel started to explain his concerns. "It's Jack. His mom died and, well, Sam seems to be upset and he didn't seem to want her to go to Chicago for the funeral and, well, I'm worried about him. And Sam too, actually."

"Isn't Jack O'Neill old enough and ugly enough to look after himself?" she asked wryly. "On the whole I've found generals in the armed forces to be fairly competent at that kind of thing." Daniel gave her an irritated glance and she threw her arms up in a gesture of surrender. "Okay, rock boy, where's Sam right now?"

"Rock boy?" he queried with chagrin. Had she been talking to Jack lately?

"Intended only as a term of affection, my darling, I promise." Her smile seemed genuine and Daniel was mollified. "Sam?" she queried to remind him about her question.

"Oh! She's at home, I think."

"Want to swing on by to see her?"

"I-I," he stammered, surprised. "Um, are you sure you don't mind?"

"I suggested it didn't I? Daniel, if you're worried, I'm worried. Friends are important. Just point this thing at Sam's place and put your foot down."

Daniel smiled. There was that heart of gold again. Francine was full of surprises and he loved that about her. So instead of heading back to his place, he did as Francine suggested, pointing the car at Sam's and putting his foot down.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Jack watched as Sam walked into the living room bearing two cups of coffee, using her butt to swing the door shut behind her. Whoa! That was hot! She grinned, guessing what he was thinking, and placed their coffees on the table in front of him, joining him on the couch.

"So, you aren't due at the SGC and I'm not flying back to DC until tomorrow. What do you want to do with our day, Sam?"

"What's left of it, you mean?" she queried. "I don't really mind. Just cuddle me Mr Scarecrow."

If Sam was honest, although on the surface everything might seem normal, it wasn't. She would need a little more time to truly forgive Jack, albeit that she understood the reasons for his abnormal behaviour. Abnormal it might have been, but that didn't necessarily make what had happened hurt less, or make it easier to forget or to absolve Jack from blame.

As for Jack, Sam had put him through the ringer, forcing him to tell her details and confront feelings he might never have confessed. He wanted normal, so was willing to pretend everything was exactly that as long as she was, even though deep down he knew it wasn't going to be that easy. Human nature wasn't like that.

"Happy to oblige, Dorothy, at least for as long as it takes for the coffee to get cool enough to drink." He winked, placing an arm around her shoulder, and she snuggled up to him. "How about us driving over to the Academy before I go back to DC and using your charm and good looks to book us a slot for the wedding?" he ventured and she stiffened.

Immediately regretting the suggestion, Jack's heart sunk, uncertain of what that still silence meant. Did she want to delay the wedding after what had happened? Stop it altogether? What had he been thinking? Asking her that now, after what had happened, was wrong on so many levels he could hardly believe the words had the audacity to cross his lips. He was an idiot, a double idiot. Jack cursed himself for being so stupidly insensitive.

He wasn't totally dumb and realised the fallout from this foolish thing he'd done wouldn't go away just like that. And maybe some of what he'd said might have made the situation easier for her, but some of it must have been pretty damned hard to swallow. He only needed to consider reversing their situations to understand that. It wasn't rocket science.

Jack knew he might never have reacted as calmly or rationally as Sam had, or maybe he might have acted it, but he would have stonewalled, denied, almost anything to avoid confronting it and facing it. If he'd ever let them get this far, he realised he would not have forgotten, that he'd still be thinking about it, letting it eat at him. Sam must be feeling that right now.

"I'm sorry," he said forlornly, disentangling his arm and moving away, angry with himself and hanging his head in his hands. "That was… I'm sorry," he reaffirmed in a whisper.

"You think I might have changed my mind?" she asked, not really surprised Jack would believe that possible. Sam had to admit she'd been taken aback by the suggestion they go book the wedding on today of all days. Sometimes she wondered what passed for brains in men. It wasn't just Jack, it was every man she'd ever met. Holy Hannah!

He didn't look up at her. "After what happened? Who could blame you if you did? Jeez, my timing sucks! I'm a damned mess; you must know that by now. After everything… you'd probably be better off without me."

He sighed sadly, his mood apparently having taken another melancholy turn. That along with his words bothered Sam. Yes, he was right, his timing did suck. Sometimes he could be a jerk. The absurdity of the whole situation struck a chord and suddenly she started to laugh. Jack started, looking up at her sharply, clearly stunned and puzzled by that reaction.

"Yes, your timing sucks, and maybe I would be better off without you." Jack looked discomforted by that. It was one thing for him to think it but quite another for Sam to. "Sometimes you can be so… thoughtless. And yet most of the time… If I really believed I'd be better of without you in my life do you think you'd still be sitting here?" she asked rhetorically, conscious of his earlier words about not deserving love. That he believed this wrenched at her heart. But Jack knew she loved him, didn't he? Apparently he only knew it sometimes and that distressed her. "Earlier on you told me I shouldn't doubt you love me. Well you shouldn't doubt my feelings for you, Jack. I love you."

"I know." He glanced away and down at his feet again and his teeth gnawed his lower lip, his expression giving the lie to the words.

"But apparently you don't know."

"Loving me is one thing. Marrying me, living with me - that's a whole different story, Sam. I don't de…" he started, but she wouldn't let him finish.

"No, don't you dare say you don't deserve it. That's bullshit!" she exclaimed emphatically, grasping his chin with her hand chin in her hand so that Jack would look at her, which he did, his eyes filled with a tumult of emotions.

"I'm not so sure I'd be as quick to forgive you," he said in a small voice.

Sam sucked in a deep breath, uncertain what to say. "I'm not sure I have exactly forgiven you, Jack. There's a big difference between understanding and forgiveness, and between forgiving and being prepared to forgive." He winced and her thumb smoothed over his cheek. "But I sure as hell am not ready to give you up over one minor… dumb indiscretion." She paused to ponder her next words. "Jeez, you can be such a jerk sometimes, but… but you didn't really cheat on me did you? You only-you only… nothing much really happened." The hand grasping Jack's chin moved to his head, smoothing through the short hair, and he reached up and took hold of it, pulling it down to his lips and kissing her palm. He looked perturbed.

"Depends on your view of cheating, I guess, and what you mean by nothing much. I would be pissed if you did the same thing. Jeez, I was jealous and upset enough when I heard you'd kissed Martouf. I don't want to share you with any other man, and I don't expect you to want to share me either. If-if you need more time, if you want to back off a little, put off the wedding from when we planned…" Tailing off uncertainly, he squeezed her hand.

"I still want to marry you and spend my life with you. I don't need more time to know what I want."

"Then… we're good, right?" His tone was still diffident.

"I hope we'll always be good. Maybe not perfect, but good. Just-just don't break my heart."

His heart lurched sympathetically at those words. "Oh, Sam… I'm so sorry." He let go of her hand and embraced her. "So, so sorry. I guess I already did that."

"It's not broken. Just a little bruised. It will heal."

His breath whispered against her neck and, while one arm smoothed over her back, the fingers of his other hand twisted through her hair. "We both been through enough pain during all these years of waiting without me adding more."

"I just need distance and time. It isn't easy to listen to the man you love telling you he was with another woman. I get it, really I do, and I know in my heart that what happened doesn't really diminish how you feel about me. This relationship is as solid as a rock, in it's own way." She noticed him frown at that and ploughed on. "But what happened still hurts. I can't simply forget it just like that."

"I don't know what else I can say or do to make it better," he responded, tightening his embrace. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I should never have told you about it. Maybe telling you makes it seem more than it really was, in here." She felt one of his hands move briefly to his heart before returning to smooth over her hair and down her cheek. "I hurt you. I knew when I told you it would hurt, but I still had to tell you because I believed that to be the right and honorable thing to do. I didn't do it to salve my guilty conscience, Sam. That's not what all this is about. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut."

"Sometimes truth hurts, but I'm not sure I believe you cheated in your heart. Not really. I know you too well to believe that," she responded, pulling away from his arms and looking him in the eye. He found it hard to meet her unwavering but pained gaze, steeling himself to face it. "I suppose I'm glad you told me. It might not be something I wanted to hear or know about, but that you told me, that you needed to tell me; that says a lot in its own way, doesn't it? You can be so closed and insular sometimes, but you've opened up to me way more than I ever expected."

"Perhaps this wasn't something I should have opened up about. I should have locked it away with the other crap." Jack ensured he had the rapt attention of her eyes while he spoke, entwining his fingers with hers, his thumb caressing them. Needing to express himself, needing her to know what lay in his heart, he continued falteringly, stumbling over his words.

"I-I've had to keep so much of my life and feelings secret from the people closest to me. I could never discuss my work with Sara. I could never let my closest friends get too close b-because… how could I do that when I had to lead you into battle and expect you to take my orders? And-and… shit!" Jack wasn't sure how to continue but knew he must find the words. He squeezed her hand, a look of uncertainty on his face, and Sam smiled faintly and nodded, trying to encourage him to continue. "I wanted us to be different. I wanted to know we were real, that… these feelings are… Jeez, this is so hard. It isn't easy for me to…"

"I know," she said reassuringly, her free hand reaching up to his face and brushing over his cheek. "You're doing okay, Jack. You're better at it than you think." The wattage of her faint smile increased a notch.

"I-I don't want to screw up. I just want to make sure we're okay. I am 100 committed to you, Sam, I need you to know that." He paused for a moment, nervously kneading her hand. "Um… this is gonna sound real corny but what the hell…? I waited years for this…this… us. I haven't been entirely celibate or a hermit over all those years of waiting and hoping, although I often came close. It's not like I had a woman on every planet or anything, or even that much going on right here on Earth most of the time. I never went looking for it, but I could get real lonely." Embarrassed by that admission, Jack tailed off and Sam smiled sympathetically.

"Jack, you don't have to…"

"Yes, I do. Please, let me finish. I-I know I haven't been a saint. I always wanted for it to be us, wanted to wait, but… Christ, what man could be that superhuman for so many years? I'm just me, Jack O'Neill, flawed just like anyone else. I-I…" He struggled for the words. "I guess I'm trying to tell you I stayed faithful to the hope of us for a very long time, never truly wanted any other woman but you for years. I don't really think I ever will. Maybe that seems hard to believe after what happened. Now we're together I screw it up. Ironic. That's… it's so Jack O'Neill."

He rolled his eyes as if annoyed with himself. "B-but I need you to know; needed to tell you."

Having wavered between certainty and doubt, he wanted to know she still had some faith in him after what had happened and Sam instinctively realised this was what he required.

"I do know. I would never have wished for you to be lonely, or alone. I would never have expected… I might have wanted, and I would have hated the thought of you with anyone else, I still do, but I never expected…" She tailed off, choosing her words with care before expressing them. "What happened in Chicago was an aberration. It's been a bad few days. I trust you. Sure, what happened makes me doubt. It would, wouldn't it?

"But this love, this trust… when you trust your life to someone for so long, well, that's something not so easily broken, and I need you to know that. We have a unique bond, not like any so called normal relationship because, let's face it, life for us has never been what you'd call normal. Not many people have what we have and that's not so easy to destroy, not after all these years."

"That's a totally different kind of trust, Sam."

"Yes, and no. I guess I'm working on it." She puckered up her nose, looking confused.

"So the Jury's still out?"

"Kind of. To be honest, I'm still a little pissed that you didn't want me to come to Chicago with you in the first place." Her tone was reasoned and calm, and Jack knew she was right to be annoyed with him about that as well as everything else. "What happened to 'never alone'?" She felt his grip on her hand tighten and her free hand reached up to caress the necklace he'd given her for her birthday back when their relationship had changed irrevocably.

Jack's eyes strayed to the necklace and he silently watched the movement of her hand over the smooth shiny metal before meeting her eyes again, his expression regretful and apologetic. "I-I don't know what to say, Sam. I guess I'm sorry doesn't really cut it. I-I don't know why, what… happened. I don't really want to shut you out. I'll try not to, I promise."

She could see his promise was genuine but knew it wouldn't be that easy for him to keep. This was Jack O'Neill. He could shut up like a trap quicker than you could blink. But he had promised he would try and that was the best she could hope for. What else was there?

"I can't ask you to do more than try. We'll be okay, Jack. We'll be fine."

Her smile was filled with affection and he nodded thoughtfully, believing she meant it, but even if she forgave him Jack wondered if his conscience would ever be clear of the sin he'd committed, the betrayal of trust. He had to try and forget it, push it to the back of his mind and stop it coming between them, thinking once more that he'd find a way to make it up to her. Maybe he never could do that, but this wouldn't stop him trying.

"Okay," he said succinctly when he finally replied, nodding his acceptance of her reassurance. The next thing she said caught him off guard.

"So, you mentioned going to the Academy, booking the wedding?"

"W-what? You think we should…?"

Astonished but ecstatic, his heart soared. Sam couldn't have surprised him more, or said anything much more uplifting. Maybe he hadn't said the wrong things after all. Maybe he really hadn't fucked up. Not this time, perhaps, although Jack knew he'd probably have plenty more opportunities. Could something this good really last? Damn it, he'd give it his best shot. Sam deserved that and, grudgingly, he was coming to the conclusion maybe he did too.

"Absolutely," she agreed, relieved his sour humor had dissipated and willing to go with the flow, for now. "First thing in the morning, before you go. The personal touch might help, especially the uniforms."

"Think we can pull some strings? I doubt it, although we can try." He grinned inwardly at the notion of Sam putting on her uniform, thinking he might have had some fun stripping it off afterwards, but Jack figured that wasn't on the cards this trip. Sam would undoubtedly need more time before she would want him to make love to her again and he could appreciate that. Space and time. It was all he could give apart from his love. As far as sex was concerned, he'd have to let her lead the way and show him she was ready.

"If the chapel is fully booked you could ask your friend the President for a favor," she said mockingly, and Jack laughed.

"Sure, he'd love that. Real fate of the world stuff," he said, chuckling as a distant memory surfaced. "Hey, remember that time we pulled the President trick on those ATF guys?" he asked, recalling the Seth incident. That had been a very long time ago.

"Oh yes, the look on that ATF man's face was hilarious. You and dad were on top form that day."

Thoughts of her father prompted Sam to want to ask Jack about his mother, but as he hadn't mentioned her again she thought it best to leave well alone, for now. She had no desire to sour his mood once more.

"Yeah, we were pretty good together," Jack replied wistfully. He'd liked the old man, and Selmak – virtually the only Tok'ra worth spending any time with.

"Despite your constant bickering."

"That was all part of the charm," he commented with a chuckle.

"Too damned right!" She smiled to herself at the memory of the pair, the two men she loved most behaving like a couple of goofs. Sitting back and staring into nothing, Sam thought about them for a while: good times and bad.

Jack simply watched, continuing to hold her hand in his, stroking her fingers, and wondering what she was thinking but not inclined to ask. She was so beautiful. He felt the urge to kiss her, but didn't dare, remaining silent for a long time before plucking up the courage to say something.

"Sam?" Her name on Jack's lips interrupted her reflections and she started, looking towards him. His tone was quiet and hesitant. "C-can I kiss you?"

She nodded agreement and met him half way as his head drew closer. Hot breath wafted over her cheek, and he let go of her hand, his fingers reaching up to caress where that breath whispered on her flesh. She closed her eyes in anticipation and his nose touched hers, then the fingers moved into the corner of her mouth, urging her lips to part.

Sam's heart lurched excitedly as his tongue touched her lips, pausing to lick them lightly as his fingers gently prized her mouth open wider, and staying put when his tongue entered to clash with hers.

'Oh my god!' she thought as the thrill of that touch charged through her.

His other hand pressed against the back of her head, pulling her closer, and the fingers in his mouth explored alongside his hot, delicate tongue. Gasping with delight through her still open mouth, Sam's arm snaked around his back and under his t-shirt, her fingers running along his spine and making him shiver with desire.

The exploratory kiss deepened, his fingers withdrawing at last and grasping the side of her face, thumb smoothing over her cheek as he continued to thrill her with the movement of his tongue inside her mouth, brushing over every inch, slow but sure.

Sam tingled with longing, her heart beating rapidly and her desire given voice by the moan that vibrated in their mouths and through Jack's body. When he slowly withdrew the tongue, pausing to lick her lips again as he parted from her, she sighed and grunted, wanting him, loving him with every fibre of her being. They stared into each other's eyes with yearning for a while before he placed an arm around her and gently urged her head to rest on his chest.

Breathless and heady with desire, and tempted to give way to their passion, neither of them said or did anything to take the longing further, and she nuzzled up to him, simply stroking his chest with her hand.

Although her body yearned for lovemaking, her heart was still too sore to allow that ultimate physical closeness and it was apparent Jack realised this. In normal circumstances, he would have taken the kiss much further. Sam appreciated that he didn't try and, knowing him so well, understood he would wait for her to make the first move, wait for her to be ready to restore normality.

After that, they remained silent for a while, simply relishing the proximity of the embrace and the warmth of each other's touch, the forgotten coffee remaining untouched and cold on the table in front of them. Now everything felt much more like normal, not quite but close, and they both wanted to enjoy that moment. The reverie, however, was interrupted by a knock on the front door.

"Aw, crap!" Jack exclaimed, not welcoming any interruption. "You expecting anyone?"

"No. I guess I'd better go answer."

"Do you have to?" he whined, giving her a squeeze.

"You know I do."

"Ack! I could just refuse to let you up."

"Oh yeah? You and whose army, mister?" she mocked.

"Hey! Can't you just let an old man have his fantasy?" His face twisted into a large smirk.

"Wanna wrestle for it?" she challenged.

"Well, you know I'd really love to, but there's someone at the door." His tone was as mocking as hers and Sam laughed, reluctantly easing herself out of his arms. Another knock made her hustle to the door, surprised to see who had arrived when she opened it.

"Daniel, Francine! This is a surprise."

Back in the living room, Jack rolled his eyes at the empty room when he realised who it was. Daniel and his bad timing, sheesh! He could hear her welcoming them into the house and groaned, resigned to the intrusion.

"Jack! You're back? You're here?" Daniel said with astonishment as they entered.

"What are you doing here Daniel? Hey, Francine," Jack said, waving his fingers at his neighbour and ruminating that it was a pretty weird thing to come across one of your own next door neighbours in a place so many miles away from home.

Francine nodded a hello, saying nothing, but Daniel sighed deeply. "Always so welcoming, Jack. That's what I like about you. A true friend." His tone was laden with sarcasm. "We came to check Sam was okay. She, she…" He didn't finish as he realised telling Jack she'd been upset recently might not be the most tactful thing to say.

"Well, you came, you saw, you got the t-shirt," Jack quipped.

Sam threw him a look and turned to the visiting couple, inviting them to sit down and offering a drink or coffee. Of course Daniel opted for coffee, while Francine asked for a soda. They sat and Francine remained silent while Daniel studied Jack's demeanour thoughtfully for a moment before he spoke again.

"I'm so sorry to hear about your mom," he said eventually.

"Thanks," Jack replied, not wanting to talk about it.

"Are you okay?"

'Fer crying out loud, take the hint, Daniel,' Jack thought. "Sure," he said aloud.

"I, um…" Daniel broke off, words hovering on his tongue but unwilling to find their voice. He shifted nervously in his seat, aware from the expression on Jack's face that he didn't want to go there. Francine reached over and took his hand in hers, squeezing it gently and, not for the first time, Daniel realised she was way more sensitive to people and their moods than it might often appear.

To fill the awkward silence that followed, Jack coughed and looked towards Francine. "So, how are ya, neighbour?" he asked with a slightly teasing grin.

"Just great, Jack," she answered, ignoring his tease. "It's good to be here in the Springs with Daniel." She smiled the sweetest smile Jack thought he'd ever seen on her face, a genuine heartfelt smile, and raised Daniel's hand, touching it to her lips. For the first time since he'd met her, Jack realised her affection and regard for Daniel was real, not the fake Francine type stuff he'd seen in the past, and he was pleased for his friend, mentally wishing him the best of everything from the relationship.

Sam returned with a tray of the various drinks they'd requested. Instead of coffee, Jack had hankered after a cold beer and he snatched up the bottle enthusiastically, taking a lengthy slug and, while he did so, suddenly recalled he had a good reason for wanting to speak to Daniel. Trinium - the rings for the wedding!

Once Sam sat next to Jack, it became obvious to Daniel that everything was right with the world after all, and he heaved a mental sigh of relief. The idea that his two friends might be struggling with this relationship had bothered him a lot. Daniel realised all relationships have some trouble, but he so wanted this thing between Jack and Sam to work. They were two of his closest friends and he wanted them to be happy after all those years of unresolved sexual tension that had so clearly deepened to love.

When Sam had been with Pete, Daniel had never quite believed that relationship could be real and was stunned when she'd got engaged. He knew it was none of his business, but he just couldn't see it working. It had seemed that two of his best friends were missing the blindingly obvious, each other, and that didn't sit well with him.

To top it all, Jack seemed unwilling or unable to act. He could easily have put a stop to it, Daniel was confident of that, but appeared to have given up. Daniel understood Jack wanted what was best for Sam and was willing to sacrifice his own feelings so she could get it, but Pete had been so wrong for her, nice enough guy though he was. He believed Jack should have fought tooth and nail for her and never abandoned that dream.

Although he didn't quite know the ins and outs of it, by the time he'd descended yet again, after the replicator Sam had killed him - which had been pretty weird stuff by the way, even for Daniel Jackson - the real Sam had broken off the engagement with Pete. At first he had wondered if it was something to do with her father's death, then he'd hoped Jack and Sam would finally get their acts together.

When they all took off to Jack's cabin he'd supposed that might be the start of it, but to his surprise and chagrin nothing happened. Then Jack had gone off to DC and Daniel began to believe it never would. The thought had troubled him. In so many ways, Jack and Sam were a mismatched pair, but in other ways they were perfect, and clearly deeply respected each other, their feelings running way deeper than friendship and team camaraderie.

Their already close bond had grown and evolved, and maybe that was the way it had to be, given the previous CO/subordinate relationship. He figured things could have been different, and maybe if they had acted too quickly without some initial adjustment, they might have been. To make this work, they had needed to be equals and he'd watched the shifts and twists and turns over the months and thought maybe now they were. A few months ago that might not have been the case.

He thought back to those many months earlier when he'd got his chance to intervene: Sam's birthday and the pendant Jack so wanted to give her. Daniel agreed wholeheartedly that it was the perfect gift for two lovers, but had been surprised by his friend's persistence given he and Sam weren't. It seemed Jack hadn't given up after all otherwise why that particular gift?

Daniel was pretty sure, however, that Jack would have pussyfooted around for weeks, if not months, if he hadn't told him payment for the gift was to kiss Sam on her birthday. He was also convinced Sam would have believed that simple act of a kiss to be the best gift of all. The archaeologist was proud to have played such a large role in the events that had brought them together, and would do his damnedest to ensure they stayed that way.

"Got any plans while you're here?" Sam asked Francine, butting into Daniel's thoughts.

"We haven't really discussed any specifics," she replied. "I'm sure we'll think of something." The smirk on her face as Francine looked towards Daniel while she spoke indicated she had something other than a nice meal or day out in mind, and Sam smothered a grin.

Unlike Jack, Sam had seen what Daniel was like after having spent a few days with Francine: tired, more dishevelled than ever, and walking around with a dreamy expression and big grin on his face like the cat who'd got the cream – probably because he had got the cream. She was pleased he seemed so happy.

When Francine expressed a desire to see the rest of the house, she and Sam took off, and the two men could hear the pair giggling as Sam showed her around. Jack took that opportunity to speak to Daniel about his plan.

"Trinium rings?" Daniel queried, flabbergasted. "Do you know how much that stuff is worth?"

"Not really. I know it's a big thing to ask. The pendant was enough, more than enough. I just…"

"Jeez, who would guess what an old romantic you can be?" Daniel responded with a grin.

That flummoxed Jack. "I, um…. Well, I, um…" he stammered making Daniel laugh. "Hey, don't mock!" he protested defensively, pouting.

"As if…"

"You would too."

"Would not"

"Would."

"Would not."

It was Jack's turn to laugh. "Okay, you made your point," he spluttered. "So you think I'm after the unattainable?"

"I never said that, did I?"

"Okay, so, well…?" Jack impatient and excited eyes bored into Daniel's forcefully.

"I've got a couple of ideas. I'll look into it and get back to you."

"Good enough. Thanks Daniel."

"You're welcome." Daniel's nose puckered up as he smiled, hopeful he could help his friend's romantic quest yet again. He so liked this side of Jack, the softer caring, dreaming one. The man appeared to be hard-core and pragmatic on the outside, but not when it came to Sam. No, when it came to Sam, Jack was positively gooey.

Could he obtain enough trinium to grant Jack his wish? He'd find a way. Yeah sure… you betchya!


	30. Never Alone: Head to Head

Title: Never Alone 30: Head to Head

Content Warnings: Use of relatively mild language.

Pairings: Jack/Sam

Spoilers: Family, Redemption

Summary: Jack and Sam are considering wedding plans, and Sam unearths a surprise that makes Jack feel uneasy

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

Author's Note: Huge thanks are due to Lynette for her always helpful comments and corrections. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own. And many thanks to readers who are bearing with this story, despite some of their doubts.

**Never Alone 30: Head to Head**

Jack sat in his favourite armchair sipping a cooling beer with a small smirk on his lips and feeling self-satisfied. Daniel had come through for him with the trinium and he'd found exactly the right person to shape it into two wedding bands and engrave the insides. Someone who would keep it quiet and whose knowledge of the alien metal or language would not risk Jack being brought up on charges for revealing such secrets.

National security was paramount. Jack knew that very well and he would never do anything to threaten it. Even his feelings for Sam would not allow him to risk such a thing. It was too ingrained and, more importantly, way too essential to Jack's personal code of honor, let alone anything to do with regs or laws.

No lesser person than the ever ingenious and helpful Sergeant "Sly" Siler was making the rings on the inside, at the SGC. Jack thought the man deserved a medal for that. Daniel deserved one too. His friend assured him the procured trinium was totally above board and legal, the use of it having been agreed with Wily Old Fox himself. Perhaps he should give Wily a medal too while he was sitting there dishing them out to all and sundry, or at least an invite to the wedding. Sam would probably want Gladys to be there anyway.

The date was set, the die was cast, and there was no going back. Not that going back was something Jack had any intention of doing, not in this lifetime. He did, however, have some nagging doubts about Sam because he knew she must have them about him, despite everything they had said to each other when he was at her place. Besides, she could do a runaway bride impersonation almost as well as Julia Roberts in the movie, and Jack knew he was no Richard Gere, although if he'd said that to Sam she would have laughed and told him he was way better.

Sam had almost forced him to watch that Julia Roberts' movie with her on the last night he'd spent in the Springs, despite that she knew girlie flicks weren't really his kind of thing. She'd played on his guilt, knowing she could, and who could blame her for taking advantage? Jack was pretty sure this wouldn't be the only way he would be forced to atone for his sins, or the last time, and tolerated it for her sake but, by the end, was hoping it hadn't given her any funny ideas.

This would, after all, be the third time Sam had been due to walk down the aisle and she had never made the previous two. Thank the good lord for that, but what made him so special that she'd go through with it this time? That was something to ponder. Maybe this was part of the point she'd been trying to make in her own convoluted way, which would not have surprised Jack in the least. He'd take his punishment like a man - on the chin. Whatever she needed to do to make him pay was okay by him, as long as she didn't take the ultimate step and break up with him, or leave him standing at the altar, heaven forbid.

This time all the wedding planning seemed different, or certainly compared to the last. Sam had thrown herself into making the arrangements with gusto, something she hadn't done when due to marry Pete Shannahan. He remembered it well – too well. But on that occasion she had seemed to shy away from it. This was telling in itself, but he'd been too dumb to pick up on the signs, or do anything about them. Too stubborn, too uncertain, too lacking in courage. But he'd got his lucky reprieve and now it was his turn. Jack was fairly certain Sam would go through with it, but couldn't stop those teeny nagging doubts from, well, nagging.

He heard a voice cry out from the hall and smiled. Talking of Sam… He'd been expecting her to turn up at any moment. Jack put down the beer and got up, stalking out to the hallway in long strides.

"Hi, honey," he said and she grinned. "C'mere." Jack opened his arms and pulled her into them, kissing the top of her head. "It's really, really good to see you, Sam. Really."

"I'm touched." Her tone held a tinge of jocular scorn.

"Hey, treat your future husband with a little more respect, will ya?"

"But I do!" she teased. Jack laughed and, leaving her bag in the hallway, placed his arm around her shoulder, steering her into the living room.

"I got the dress!" she said excitedly as they sat down.

"Am I going to like it?"

Jack wasn't sure he gave a damn what she was going to wear, but if it made Sam happy who was he to argue? As far as he was concerned, she'd look great in almost anything, although he had no objections whatsoever if she wanted to go out of her way to dress up and look even sexier and more beautiful, especially on their wedding day. Quite the opposite.

"You're going to love it." Sam winked knowingly.

"Is it sexy?"

"I hope so."

"Does it fit in all the right places, if you know what I mean?"

He waggled his eyebrows and she rolled her eyes, her lips puckering up into a smile. With a cheeky grin, Jack reached over to demonstrate, briefly touching her breasts and running his hand down her body, over her waist and to her thighs. His hand stayed where it stopped and Sam felt a frisson of excitement. It hadn't really been that long since they'd last seen each other, but she had missed him.

Jack felt her excitement, wondering if she was ready to allow him to make love to her yet, but still believed this was her call. So he said and did nothing further to hint at such a notion.

"I know exactly what you mean. I guess you're going to have to wait and see."

"Shucks!"

Sam picked up the hand that held her thigh, placing it firmly back in Jack's lap. Later. Her desire for him ran deep - much deeper than any residual resentment about his stupid behaviour in Chicago - but they had important things to talk about and she wanted to discuss them before she allowed any getting carried away.

She'd given that Chicago situation a lot of thought and had itched to talk to someone about it, her meanderings leading her to approach Teal'c once more. Theirs was one hell of a quirky relationship, and she treasured it dearly. Jack didn't know and probably never would realise its full extent. This was one of Sam's secrets, and she shared it only with Teal'c.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The candles burned bright heat around them as Sam spoke from her heart, confiding in the Jaffa once more. This was an entirely unexpected turn of events for Sam. She hadn't planned to seek Teal'c's wisdom or consolation, but had been drawn to approach him almost without volition. Once again, as she spoke, his comforting strong arm had taken hold of her and pulled her head to his chest in a gesture of solidarity and support.

"He has wronged you." Teal'c seemed shocked and perturbed and Sam couldn't say that surprised her.

"Yes he has," she agreed, nodding her head slowly.

"He is a fool to do this thing that hurt you so. Do you wish me to do him harm, Samantha?"

"Teal'c!" she exclaimed in surprise. "He's your friend."

"As are you. If you believe he requires punishment I am prepared to carry out your judgement."

"That's sweet of you," she responded with a smile, squeezing him gently. "But if he needs to be punished, I'm the one who should punish him." Teal'c said nothing and she imagined him bowing his head in deference to that decision. "He's probably punishing himself way more effectively than I ever could. You know Jack."

Again he remained silent, although Teal'c tended to agree with her assessment of his friend. O'Neill shouldered many burdens and, when he considered himself guilty, condemned himself more than any of his peers, that was when he allowed himself to reflect. Teal'c knew his fellow warrior tried to avoid introspection, particularly about those issues that hurt the most, although who really knew what goes through the head of another?

Certainly he realised O'Neill would consider he was guilty in this matter of the heart because there was no avoiding the fact he was, and he would judge himself harshly. Probably more harshly than Samantha Carter would judge him, even though she was severely wounded by his actions.

Teal'c also judged him harshly, because he had acted unwisely and as a consequence hurt a woman the Jaffa had profound respect and love for. She was his friend, and what pained her mattered to him, just as what hurt O'Neill could touch him. Teal'c knew O'Neill's soul would be damaged by what he had done, and that bothered him, but he was angry with his friend for both his stupidity and the sorrow he had caused.

After a long pause he spoke again. "Human behaviour can be puzzling. I know he respects you deeply, but these actions are not those of a man who respects his woman. How could he show such a lack of respect and be so unfeeling?"

His body felt stiff against Sam and she prized herself away from him to meet his dark smouldering eyes. He was annoyed, she could see that.

"I don't think… I'm not sure what to think. He isn't unfeeling, Teal'c, far from it. Sometimes he feels too much, even if he doesn't show it."

His eyes questioned that briefly as he considered, and then he nodded. "Indeed." Sam smiled at the use of that well-worn and succinct word. With Teal'c it held great meaning for such a small word.

Briefly, the Jaffa pondered how he would react if O'Neill were there with him now, telling this sorry tale from his viewpoint. Not that he really imagined O'Neill would disclose such a confidence, but it helped Teal'c to envisage it. He would probably listen, and empathise, but he would also express his anger at his friend's actions, and Teal'c almost wished he had the opportunity to do so. At heart, however, he was certain this abhorrent behaviour was not in O'Neill's normal nature and, therefore, realised the situation had been far from normal.

Sam started to speak so he turned his attention from his thoughts to her words. "He often finds it hard to show his feelings, his thoughts. How does a warrior show all that?" she asked and he knew she expected no response, but nevertheless found it an interesting question. Teal'c knew very well how difficult that could be for a warrior who had to keep many of his feelings hidden even from himself. A good soldier could not be as effective if he did not.

"But I believe he opened up his heart to me," she continued, and the other true warrior in her life nodded thoughtfully, but before he could respond she spoke again. "Does this behaviour make you doubt his honor, Teal'c?"

"I know not. Do you doubt?"

"It hurts, but how can I allow myself to doubt him after so many years of deeply abiding trust? He is an honorable man, isn't he?"

Sam needed another person's thoughts, which was why she was here, and she believed Teal'c understood Jack more than many humans. All the way of the warrior stuff cemented a bond of great depth and empathy between the two men.

"You chose to speak to me because you believe I have insight into O'Neill that you do not possess," he stated and Sam didn't demur. "Yes, he is an honorable man. I have met no man I consider more honorable, with the possible exception of General Hammond. I do not believe O'Neill's behaviour was like O'Neill."

"My thoughts exactly. Basically, I believe in him."

"As do I. But I believe your heart still doubts."

"Jack came close to having sex with another woman. Of course my heart doubts. I would trust him with my life, always will, but this is different, isn't it?"

"It is indeed different. But we have both known him for many years. Do we not know him well enough to realise this behaviour is not like the O'Neill we know so well?" Teal'c's dark gaze bored into hers as he tried to fathom what she was thinking when she paused to think about his words. Then she gave a brief nod and responded.

"Yes, I think we probably do. I just… I so hate having those doubts about him. I feel I should, but also that I shouldn't."

"Then you have a difficult puzzle to solve do you not? Why do you think he told you about this? He need not have made such a confession. His guilt was so great that he required forgiveness?"

She stopped to consider that before replying. "I think he wants forgiveness, but I don't think that's why he told me. He says he wants our relationship to be real and honest. He doesn't want us to live a lie."

"I understand. Do you believe his motives?"

"He's never given me any reasons to doubt him before. Should I start now?"

"I do not believe you should. He would not deliberately lie to you, Samantha, only by omission." Reaching with a large hand, he grasped her arm, squeezing it far more gently than his huge muscular frame might suggest. "We both understand that loss and grief take a heavy toll on our hearts and minds. At such times we do not always react to circumstances as we might normally. And we pay dearly for our past. O'Neill is paying such a price now. When Drey'auc died, much had been left unsaid and I had much to regret."

Sam frowned, taken aback by that confession from her friend, and she placed her small hand over the larger one that clung to her arm, sympathising with Teal'c, as he sympathised with Jack, because he understood regret and how it could eat at you when left unresolved upon someone's death. There would never be resolution for Teal'c about Drey'auc just as there never would be for Jack about his mother.

"I'm so sorry, Teal'c. I've raised some painful memories for you."

The corners of Teal'c's lips turned up in a slight smile. "Such things should not be forgotten any more than they can be forgotten. You do me no disservice to remind me of my own failings."

Sam tittered softly. "I guess not. You haven't got many after all."

His smile broadened and he bowed his head, pleased by those words from a person he admired so highly.

"So maybe I'm right to take a leap of faith?" she asked.

"Leaps of faith have served us well in the past, have they not?"

"If you were me, you'd probably demand the right of Kel nor tokeem," she said, recalling all those years before when Teal'c's wife had annulled their marriage and remarried.

Teal'c smiled and inclined his head. "You remember. That is the way of the Jaffa, not of the Tauri. We had made vows but she renounced them."

"Jack and I made vows too, in our own way." Teal'c eyed her curiously. "We might not be married, but we committed to each other nonetheless."

"Many years ago, I believe," he said, still smiling, "Despite everything that has occurred in between. You do not doubt that commitment from O'Neill, do you Samantha?"

"Not really."

"And your feelings for O'Neill are not diminished?"

"No."

"And do you believe his are diminished, that he has lost his deep rooted respect and love for you?"

She appeared to think about that momentarily before replying. "No, I don't. I believe he's a man whose carefully built fortress of a world came crashing down around his ears one day, and he couldn't cope with it. To some extent, at least, he returned to that dark place he went to when Charlie died."

Sam was clearly disturbed by that notion and Teal'c understood why. Neither of them had known O'Neill during that time of great darkness, but they both knew enough about it to realise and understand that this was a place he neither deserved to be, nor should be. O'Neill did well to escape from that place and claw his way back to sanity and reality, better than many other men might.

"Indeed," he agreed, pondering her words. "If you do not believe these things then you must forgive him as I forgave Drey'auc."

"So you did forgive her." She noticed him nod. "But that was a totally different situation."

"Different, but still the same in here." His hand moved to his heart to demonstrate his meaning. "You should continue to trust and respect O'Neill because I believe he has earned that, despite what happened. I think in your heart you concur. You came to me to seek affirmation of what thoughts already lie within."

"I wanted your honest opinion, not just to hear my own feelings confirmed."

"And I have given it. He is a fool, yes, and I am angered he has hurt you. I will still punish him if you think it appropriate. This, however, does not deter me from seeing the truth, or expressing it."

"You're right," she agreed with a smile, moving back towards him and urging him to place his arm around her once again. "I knew talking to you would help. Thank you, Teal'c."

"My door is always open to you, Samantha Carter. I love you as I would love a brother."

She grinned at that. "Likewise."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Back in the present, she noticed Jack's eyebrows arching curiously as if questioning what she was thinking, but she said nothing about her thoughts, returning to practical concerns.

"Did you get my mail with the guest list?" she asked.

"Yeah. I printed it off and scrawled a few comments. Wanna see?" He decided not to press her about her thoughts although he believed the last thing she'd been thinking about was their wedding plans. Pressing might stir up a hornet's nest he wasn't prepared to tackle unless she wanted to.

"Sure."

As Jack got up to find the list, he turned his head towards her. "Do you want coffee or something by the way?"

"I'm all coffeed out. Besides, I do know how to make coffee, you know. You don't have to make it for me." Her tone was slightly sarcastic.

"I guess you know where everything is," Jack replied lightly, waving an arm in the direction of the kitchen. "Whatever... you know best." He bent to kiss the top of her head and then wandered off to find the list, returning moments later with some paper and a beer in his hands.

"The wedding rings are sorted," he said as he handed the paper to her. Sam placed the sheets on her knees without looking, fixing her eyes on Jack instead.

"And?" she queried, eager to learn more.

"And…nothing. I guess you're going to have to wait and see." Jack teased, throwing her words back at her.

"Aw, Jack… spoilsport." She pouted. "But what if mine doesn't fit?" Sam hoped to wheedle more information from him. She trusted him with the tasks allotted, and to make the right choices, but that didn't mean she wasn't curious.

"It will, I promise. Everything is going to be perfect." He smiled, lifting her hand to his lips, briefly touching them to her palm and then letting go.

Jack knew the wedding plans were going to drive him to distraction and just wanted it over with, but he stoically endured because Sam deserved the wedding of her dreams, although she had opted to make it simple, in keeping with Jack's own tastes. Once she met up with Betsy Sheridan this weekend, who knew what might happen? Jack dreaded the notion Betsy might persuade her to go for something too fancy or tasteless, something totally not him.

"Don't worry, I won't let Betsy lead me astray," she said as if reading his mind. "I don't want this to get out of control or complicated, and I don't want fantasy, flowery stuff."

"Are you sure?"

"The simpler the better. Maybe we should have eloped," she joked. Or at least she thought it was a joke, but further consideration made her wonder.

"Still can. I can get my bag packed in seconds flat." He grinned like a little boy who planned some secret mischief.

"You don't know how tempting that is." Sam was seriously contemplating it. To simply run away and get it over with would be so simple, and something of a relief. Think of all the time and hassle it would save, not to mention money.

"I mean it."

"I know. We can't, can we?" Jack said nothing so she continued. "No, we can't. Can you imagine what people would think?"

"I don't give a damn what they think. I care about what you think. And what you want. You want the fairytale, right?"

She sighed, frowning. "I guess so, or something close. My version of the fairytale." Moving her face nearer to his, Sam took his chin in her hand and Jack grabbed her head, taking the hint and opening his mouth on hers, inserting his tongue to explore in a long, drawn out kiss.

"I promised myself business first, pleasure later," she whispered as their lips unlocked.

"Um, pleasure?" he queried, discerning her meaning from the hint of sexual innuendo in her expression. "All right," he concurred, grin broadening until his whole face becoming two giant sized dimples. The last thing he really expected was for Sam to be thinking about them making love: not so soon. He thought her feelings about what had happened would still be too raw. But lovemaking is what her expression appeared to promise. The woman never ceased to amaze him. Reaching to her head with his hand, he tousled her hair teasingly.

"Let's talk wedding and then maybe I'll put my uniform back on. I know how much you love takin' it off again." He winked, and then chuckled at the wide-eyed, surprised but pleased, expression on her face. A faint flush colored her cheeks and, coughing pointedly, Sam picked up the crumpled paper in her lap.

"Okay, let's start with the guest list…"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It wasn't until next morning, having spent half the night discussing wedding details and then making love that, while eating some toast for breakfast, Sam noticed the unopened box sitting in a corner of the kitchen. Wondering if it was something for the wedding, a surprise Jack had up his sleeve, her excited curiosity overcame discretion.

"What's that?" she asked, pointing.

Jack stood with his back to her, pouring more coffee from his machine for him and orange juice for Sam. Turning, his eyes flittering over to the box. "That?"

"Yeah, the box," she clarified, surprised to see Jack seemed agitated. He paused before responding, taking a swig of the much needed coffee, wincing because it was still too hot, and placing it down on the counter top again.

"It's, um, it's mom's effects."

"Oh!" she exclaimed, understanding why he looked so pained that she'd mentioned it, but wondering why he hadn't hidden it better if he didn't want her to see. The place was large enough, after all, and there were many hiding places she would never think of exploring. She suspected he'd hidden it in plain sight, half hoping she would spot it and ask, half hoping she wouldn't. Such was the riddle that was Jack O'Neill. "You haven't opened it yet?"

"Not got around to it." His voice was even but Sam sensed the tension, noting his stance as he stared at the box, bouncing on his toes with his hands in his pockets. He raised his eyes to meet hers. "I keep meaning to do it but… I'm not sure whether I want to go through what's inside."

"Do…" she started hesitantly, finally placing her half eaten piece of toast back on its plate on the table, "do you want me to help?" She thought maybe that was what he was angling for, but knew he'd have mixed feelings about her being present when he went through the contents of the box. His teeth played with his bottom lip for a moment before he responded with nothing more than a nod, a faintly relieved look on his face.

"Okay. Now?" she queried, knowing she had plenty of time to spare before she was due to meet Betsy in DC that evening.

"Um, maybe later," he said, glancing at the box again.

Sam recognised delaying tactics when she saw them and realised the task could be hard on him: too many memories, probably way too many of them bad.

"Wouldn't it be better just to get it done?" she suggested, starting to rise from her chair to approach, but he stopped bouncing and stilled, gesturing for her to stop, so she sat and he picked up her juice, moving toward her to sit at the table. He pushed the juice in her direction and Sam took a sip, peering at him over the rim of the glass and waiting for him to respond.

Jack knew he needed to confront and conquer the fears instilled by the box, but had no idea what was inside and how he might be affected by it. He'd hardly dared admit how much his mother's death had thrown him, disturbing him more than he would have imagined. He hadn't really got to grips with it yet.

Maybe the contents of the box would help him make his peace with her memory, but he was apprehensive they would just stir up emotions he wasn't sure he wanted to face. The all too brief exchanges with Sam when he got back from Chicago were the closest he'd come to talking about it, or admitting his confusion. Jack had deliberately tried to avoid introspection, throwing himself into his work and wedding arrangements so he didn't have to think about much else.

"Maybe I should wait until you've gone back to the Springs," he said, suddenly uncertain whether Sam should be there when he did the deed. Jack was unable to meet her eyes and tried to hide his unease by taking a slice of toast and starting to butter it.

"Don't shut me out again, Jack."

He glanced towards her, studying her face. Sam's blue eyes were widened with concerned anguish, and a plea. Placing the toast back on its plate, he closed the gap between them by shifting his chair, and then raised his hand to squeeze her shoulder. A sad smile crossed his handsome features, and he nodded.

"Okay," he agreed in a quiet tone. After freezing her out of the trip to Chicago and his mother's funeral, then regretting it, he didn't want to repeat that experience for either of them, particularly after the Jean fiasco. He had come very close to losing the woman he loved. No more making the same lousy mistakes, sink or swim, he vowed.

Grasping the hand that squeezed her shoulder, Sam caressed it with her thumb. "Whatever makes you comfortable, Jack. I don't want to intrude."

His expression saddened still further. "Intrude? I guess I never really figured that's how I can make you feel. I don't mean to. It's just… shit, this is hard for me Sam. I guess I'm not much good at sharing my life or my feelings. I got out of practice once Sara and I broke up, and I was never much good at it with her. If that's what you want, what you need, you probably picked the wrong guy."

Shutting Sara out had wrecked his marriage and Jack knew it. This was one of the reasons he'd let Sam in so far in the first place. He'd made deliberate choices to open that door for her in a way he'd never been able to do with his ex-wife. Sam knew him for the soldier he was, the good and the bad, which is something he'd never been able to share with Sara, so opening the chinks in his armour to Sam might have been difficult for a man like Jack, but had also been that much easier. They shared an intimacy he could never have attained with his wife and this relationship was built on those solid foundations. Sam had been right about that.

The dark place he'd gone to when his mom died, however, had not been too distant from the darkness provoked by the death of his son, maybe not as black or desolate, but close enough that it could have ruined the best thing that had happened to him since those worst times of his life. He couldn't let that happen again. Losing Sam was unthinkable and would wound them both irrevocably.

Jack felt bad enough about hurting her, which was one of the worst things he could possibly do. But if he lost her, it would be even worse for his own sorry and unworthy soul. He was all too aware that if this relationship broke down it would probably take him down with it, which made him way more vulnerable than Jack normally cared to be, or admit. Nonetheless, deep down he knew it to be true.

"I most certainly did not pick the wrong guy. For the first time in my life, I picked exactly the right guy," Sam objected, squeezing his hand and removing it from her shoulder to clasp it in her lap with both her hands. "I know you aren't an opening up kind of man, you never were. That's a given. I don't expect… I don't push you too hard do I?" she asked, fearful he thought that.

Jack merely shook his head and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "I don't want to push you too far, or push you away," she continued, "but I don't want you to push me away either. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, Jack, but I'll always be there if you want to, waiting for that small crack in your armour, ready to catch you when you fall."

Choked with emotion by her words, Jack hung his head, unable and unwilling to show how they affected him. Sam moved one of her hands to cradle his head, fingers twirling his short hair and massaging his scalp. She bent to kiss that hair and then decided to move away and give him the space he needed, but Jack didn't want her to move, grunting his dismay. So Sam held his head to her breast while her hands rocked and soothed him, in awe of the emotions provoked in both of them.

"The toast will be cold," he said when he could finally bring himself to speak, and Sam thought it was typical of Jack to move on through the use of such a prosaic statement.

"We can make more," she replied and he lifted his head from her breast and kissed her lightly on the lips, fingers caressing her cheek.

Just when he thought he could never love her more, something happened to prove he could. Their relationship was so much more than he had ever dreamed was possible with any woman, let alone Sam. Deeper and stronger and way more wonderful.

"Want more toast?" he asked.

"Not really."

"Me neither. C-can we open the box now?" His face bore a nervously shy expression and his tone was subdued and Sam's lips twitched into a small smile at the corners.

"Whenever you like, Jack. Now, later…"

"Now. You're right I should get it over with, and I nee… um, want you to be here when I do it."

Sam's heart thudded at his confession of need and she nodded agreement, not sure what to say, so electing to say nothing.

"I'll move it into the living room. It's more comfortable to sit there to look through it, don't you think?" Without waiting for a response, he continued, "And I'll make more coffee. I'm gonna need coffee, lots and lots of coffee."

With those words, Jack pulled away from her, rising from the chair, carrying the plates over to the sink and throwing the leftover toast away. While his back was turned making fresh coffee, and he finished drinking the now much cooler cup he'd poured earlier, Sam quietly snuck up behind him and rested her head against his spine, arms snaking around his waist and hands reaching up to span his chest.

"I love you, Jack O'Neill, way more than words can express."

Taking her hands, he twisted them around so he was facing her and pulled her into his embrace. "I so know that feeling," he said, before letting go and turning back to the coffee machine, but he was thinking about how clearly she had demonstrated that love the previous night. Way more than words can express? She was so right about that. Their lovemaking the night before was going to form one heck of a great memory in his large bank of great Sam memories. A memory he could draw on and cherish any time he needed her to be with him when she was absent.

To be continued


	31. Never Alone: Little Boxes

Title: Never Alone 31: Little Boxes

Author: Su Freund

Content Level: Age 13+ An Adult Only version of this story can be found on my site. See link in What's new on the main index page

Content Warnings: Use of relatively mild & vulgar language. Sexual situations (non explicit sex scene with some slightly graphic elements)

Spoilers: None

Summary: Will forgotten memories of his childhood and some unexpected surprises bring Jack peace of mind, or add to his confusion over his mother's recent death?

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone 30: Head to Head

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

Author's Note: Thanks to Lynette (Flatkatsi) for her encouragement and helpful suggestions in beta reading this story. The very young do not always do as they are told, so any remaining errors, omissions or peculiarities are entirely mine.

**Never Alone 31: Little Boxes**

_Previously:_

"I love you, Jack O'Neill, way more than words can express."

Taking her hands, he twisted them around so he was facing her and pulled her into his embrace. "I so know that feeling," he said, before letting go and turning back to the coffee machine, but he was thinking about how clearly she had demonstrated that love the previous night. Way more than words can express? She was so right about that. Their lovemaking the night before was going to form one heck of a great memory in his large bank of great Sam memories. A memory he could draw on and cherish any time he needed her to be with him when she was absent.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_Flashback to previous night:_

Despite the earlier hints about lovemaking, Sam managed to catch him off guard. She'd given no further sign of those intentions and Jack had convinced himself she still needed more time. As it turned out she was pretty determined to seduce him - and it had been quite some seduction, excruciatingly and wonderfully slow, and filled with tender love rather than lust.

Having disappeared for a while to read her personal mails and check online into some of the wedding ideas they'd discussed, Sam returned to the living room to find Jack dozing on the couch. As she bent over to kiss his cheek, his eyes opened and he smiled warmly, and irresistibly. When he opened his mouth to speak, she placed her finger upon it to stop his words.

"I'll tell you all about it tomorrow," she whispered. "It's our time now."

Jack eyebrows arched enquiringly but he said nothing. She touched her fingertips to his cheek, smoothing them along his face and over his hair, before moving her face closer and capturing his lips. The kiss was long and powerful and it was obvious to Jack that Sam intended for them to make love, so he started to caress her, but she stopped that too.

"My show, my way," she breathed into his ear. "Go put those dress blues on."

Jack gasped, his desire increased by several notches, and he nodded. Standing upright, she took his hand and led him to the bedroom, stopping at the door and urging him to enter. He eyed her curiously but she remained propped against the doorframe, motionless.

"Dress blues," she insisted.

Unmoving, she simply watched while he stripped out of his casual wear and dressed in the formal clothing. Obeying her command, Jack continued to observe her as overtly as she did him, noting the small smile on her face as she seemingly drank in every movement he made. He returned the smile and she winked and blew him a kiss, causing his heart to leap into his chest and his stomach to churn.

Jack anticipated the special nature of this lovemaking because he realised Sam wanted it to be special - a coming together of the pair after their keenly felt rift, which might not have been as overt as their current mutual gazing, but had been overshadowing their relationship nonetheless. Even before she touched him as intimately as he expected, he was worked up, horny and filled with lust by this tease. And tease it most certainly was for a very long while.

Once he straightened his tie, she approached, walking around him and eyeing him up and down as if he was on parade. Cocking her head and staring, she nodded as if making up her mind about something, and her hands grasped his tie.

"Call that straight?" she questioned, "You should be ashamed, airman!"

"Yes ma'am," he agreed, his breath catching in his throat as she fiddled with the tie. Then she surprised him by pulling him by it towards the bed and pushing him into a seated position. "Oh my!" he exclaimed.

"I didn't give you permission to speak, flyboy."

"No ma'am," Jack said obediently, willing to comply with her whim. This was pretty damned hot and she hadn't even got started yet. 'Man, did I pick well when I fell for you or what?' he thought excitedly.

Sam crouched in front of him, removing the shoes and socks he'd so recently put on, and massaging his bare feet for a while. Jack shuddered with pleasure and then grunted when her hand wandered slowly along his pants up his thigh towards his crotch. She smirked.

"Good," she said with satisfaction. Then, while he remained seated, she rose and straddled his legs. Grabbing the tie, she pulled it tight and kissed him with passion until he was no longer able to breathe. At that point she withdrew her mouth from his, loosening her hold on his tie and licking his face.

"God, Sam," he gasped.

"Shhh."

"Baby…" She kissed him again, effectively shutting him up, but when his hands started to wander along her back, she unlocked their lips.

"No!" she said. "I expect obedience or you will be punished." His hands fell away as he complied. If Sam wanted complete control of their lovemaking, he'd let her have it. Very hot!

Removing the tie and casting it away, Sam started to unbutton his shirt, stopping once she'd exposed his neck. At first she simply pressed her tongue to the little notch at the center of his sternum, then she licked up over his Adam's apple and in outwards stokes over the surface of his neck.

It was then Jack realised she was going to seduce him in the most leisurely but torturous way possible. He groaned and she grasped the lapels of his jacket, easing it off his shoulders without removing it entirely. Then she smoothed her fingers over the bare flesh of his chest and shoulders, as far as she could reach under the remaining closed buttons of his shirt.

Pushing him into a prone position on the bed, she slowly undid the other buttons, leaving the shirt tucked into his pants but allowing access to his torso. Pulling the shirt open wider, her hot wet tongue ventured along his clavicle, then lightly over his chest hair. Initially, her touch was so light that she only tickled at those hairs without touching his skin, but then she pressed harder onto his flesh, until her mouth reached his nipples. Carefully, she sucked and licked lightly at each in turn, delighted by the small sounds of frustrated pleasure expressed by her lover as she worked.

Her hands ran over his jacket, reaching the medals pinned to his breast, which she caressed lovingly, smiling and whispering in his ear seductively. "My handsome, brave hero. So sexy, so drop dead gorgeous. Oh Jack, I love you my darling. I'm going to devour you, every inch of you. I'm going to bleed you dry."

Jack moaned, frustration, desire and expectation written clearly on his face, giving her pleasure and urging her on with her tease.

"Sam, honey…"

"Shhh, my rules, remember?"

He said nothing, merely grunting both his submission and dissatisfaction.

This slow seduction continued for what seemed to be an age as she unhurriedly removed his shirt and jacket inch by inch, searing his flesh with her tongue and fingers as each small area of him was exposed to her. Once she was ready to continue, her hands reached down to his fly, which she gradually opened, teasing him with her fingertips through his boxers.

Jack knew this cruelly torturous, but simultaneously rapturous, seduction was nowhere near completion and steeled himself to await her desires. He longed to take control, to strip her naked and caress her with his fingers, to give them both satisfaction. But this was not what Sam wanted so he resisted those impulses, which was no easy task. He was a wild man straining at the leash, but knew he would be driven even wilder before this was over.

She overwhelmed him. He was captivated, enchanted and held in her thrall, her prisoner and slave, the subject and object of her whim. Her mouth, tongue and hands devoured every morsel of his flesh and he ached and tingled all over with need and desire.

Sam eased herself off him, standing, her eyes telling him not to move but just watch, and she started to remove her own clothing in a slow-motion strip tease. Attentively, Jack regarded every move she made with increasingly darkening and lust filled eyes. Small noises indicating excitement emanated from his mouth. Then she stood before him in sublime nakedness and he groaned, longing to touch her.

His dark eyes and expression told her everything she needed to know. He was suffering, yet ecstatic; agonised, yet elated. She smiled erotically in response, her eyes dancing with gleeful taunting, and then approached, sashaying her hips suggestively.

"Oh god!" Jack uttered under his breath, but if she heard she gave no sign of it, towering over his prone form and bending to run a finger down from his throat to the top of his pants. She paused there for seemingly endless moments and licked her lips sensuously. Jack grunted, his eyes begging her to touch his most intimate parts, but she declined for a long time before starting to pull his pants down over his hips and thighs.

Sam didn't remove them entirely, leaving them at half-mast, his boxers still in place, and she regarded him thoughtfully, beaming with delight before meeting his beseeching eyes again.

"Pull your legs up onto the bed, my beautiful hero," she said in a tone laden with sensuality. In different circumstances Jack might have demurred at her use of those words, but not while she made love to him. In this context, Sam occasionally used such sweet talk as part of her seductive foreplay. He'd been around this block with her more than once and had to admit it was real hot.

"Yes ma'am," he whispered breathily, as he obeyed, his voice rough and hoarse with longing. She so loved him calling her ma'am - another ingredient of the sexual fun.

Already crazy with desire, her continuing caresses deepened his need for completion. "I can't, oh god, I can't…"

"Yes you can, my love, and you will. I'm not finished with you yet, my courageous, gorgeous general," she said huskily, the gravelly pitch of her voice enhancing Jack's yearning.

"Sam, please," he begged but she merely shook her head, shifting away from those intimate regions and moving to straddle his knees. Then she lowered her head towards him and kissed his belly button, dipping her tongue inside and twirling it around in circular movements.

She paused at the waist of his boxers, breathing softly onto his skin as a hand crawled up his inner thigh, and underneath, her fingers teasing every inch she could cover without touching him there. Jack moaned with desperate need, and he idly wondered how long he could go on like this, and how long she could make him suffer the agony and ecstasy.

Slowly removing his pants and boxers entirely, she caressed, smoothed, petted and taunted, determined to draw out his delicious agony for as long as possible, taking him to the brink of ecstasy, and leaving him begging her to finish it, every inch of him screaming its longing.

"Soon, tough guy, soon," she promised with a purr, trailing a finger over his hips and along his outer thigh until she reached the knee and traced it up his inner thigh again.

He raised his torso off the bed and grabbed her arm. "Sam!" he begged.

"No, Jack, no touching. If you touch I'll just have to make the agony last longer, my darling."

That she wouldn't let him touch her made the torture of her seduction all the more gloriously frustrating.He wailed despairingly, but removed the hand and sank back onto the bed figuring she wanted to prove a point, which she did, in an action speaks louder than words Jack O'Neillish kind of way. That was often Sam's way too. In some things they could be alike.

"Better," she said, "My good, obedient, fearless man. You're all mine, Jack. You belong to me, body and soul, don't you?"

"Yes," he agreed, his breath hard and heavy. "I'm yours, baby, always."

"Call me ma'am. I love it when you call me ma'am," she declared with a smile.

"Yes, ma'am, I belong to you body and soul."

"You're mine to do with as I will?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am. You can do anything you want with me."

She smiled in a self-satisfied kind of way. "Better, much better."

The pause had caused him to pull back from the brink and she knew it. All the better for her to taunt and torment him before finally allowing him satisfaction, and all the better for him when she gave him that release.

Jack wasn't sure how much longer he could endure the heavenly torture. But, he knew when she finally freed him it would be magnificent, and cautioned himself to hold back until she released him. If this was punishment then he was a glutton for it. He'd use every mind trick in the book to keep from going over the edge too soon. And she continued relentlessly onwards with her quest until the sound that came from his mouth was akin to the growl of a wild animal.

"Help me, ma'am. Please help me," he implored and her eyes roamed up to look at his face, which begged just as emphatically.

Having taken him so close, but kept him so far away for so long, she united their bodies at last in the ultimate sexual act. Grasping his hands in hers, she watched with a smile as she finally granted release, and he screamed his pleasure. Then she kissed him on the mouth, the initial tenderness leading to intense passion as she allowed him to caress her, and Jack relished his freedom to stroke her soft, smooth skin.

"Shit, Sam, that was… that was…" Jack couldn't find words to express his feelings so settled for less than he believed she deserved. "You're magnificent, beautiful, the best."

She smiled, apparently satisfied by those words even if he wasn't, and simply held him for a while. Then, pulling away, she reached for his hand, placing it between her legs.

"You figure you need to hint?" he asked with a lascivious grin.

"Not really, but I am anyway."

"Open wide," he said with a chuckle, and she giggled.

His touch became increasingly intimate and sensual. "Jack, don't take too long," she said and he arched his eyebrows quizzically.

"After what you just did to me… ma'am?"

"It was good wasn't it?"

"It was… fantastic."

"Then I demand my reward."

"That's what I'm doing, babe." He smiled with that irresistible crinkling of his dimples, and twinkle in his eyes.

"My gorgeous, sexy conqueror," she drawled.

"I try, ma'am," he drawled with a teasing smirk.

If she wanted this to be over quickly, Jack was more than happy to oblige and knew exactly what to do to hasten her fulfilment. His hands, lips and tongue caressed and sucked those most intimate places until she squirmed beneath him ecstatically.

"Oh, Jack!" she cried, grasping his short hair and pulling at his scalp. "Don't stop."

Although he was tempted to tease her as she had teased him, Jack had determined early on in this lovemaking session that Sam would get whatever she wanted. He was hers to command.

"No, ma'am," he said compliantly. 

His long fingers stroked and petted as he whispered in her ear, telling her how beautiful and brilliant she was, and how much he loved her. When she screeched her satisfaction, her flesh sweaty and tinged with pink, it was a sight Jack believed would never cease to thrill him for as long as he lived.

Contentedly, he kissed her thighs before moving to lie beside her and pull her into his arms. She curled up close to him with a serene smile on her lips, and his happiness danced in his eyes as he cuddled her tenderly.

"I love you Jack O'Neill."

"That makes me very happy."

"I know, and I love you to be happy. You make me very happy too, my darling."

"Not always."

"That isn't possible, even for you, super hero."

Jack laughed and snuggled even closer. Did this mean he was forgiven? She never said and he didn't ask. What really mattered was right now, and right now she loved him, apparently without reservation. He returned those feelings with a power and strength that would have staggered her if she could have known.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The photograph was well thumbed, torn and worn at the edges, as if handled a number of times. Jack as a youngster stared out from the slightly dulled shiny card with a cheeky smile.

"Ah, to be that young again," he quipped in jest, looking over at Sam when he heard her chuckle. "I'm kidding!"

"The sweetie in the photo is you?" she queried, tongue firmly in cheek. The photo was clearly Jack as a child and he looked as sweet and delicious as apple pie.

"Sweetie? Ack!" He mimed gripping her throat in a mock stranglehold.

"You were cute!" she protested. "Although I hope you weren't as cantankerous."

"Cantankerous? Me?" he said with feigned incredulity. Sam merely glared at him. "Okay," he admitted grudgingly. "but I'm old enough for cantankerous to suit me." He pouted and Sam laughed. As Jack examined the photo again, however, she noticed a shadow darken his face and her grin turned to a dismayed frown.

"I wouldn't want to live through that again," he murmured and Sam winced, briefly squeezing his hand in support, reiterating she was there for him.

He smiled thinly and turned back to the photo, flipping it over in his hand, eyes widening with surprise. "That's my mom's writing," he said, passing the photograph to Sam. She took it and looked on the back.

'My beautiful Jonathan,' it read. Sam glanced at Jack to gauge his reaction, seeing that he appeared puzzled and thoughtful.

After arming Sam with enough coffee to keep an elephant awake, Jack had carried the box into the living room and sat on the couch, ready to open it. Next to the box, and at Jack's feet, Sam sat on the floor ready to do almost anything to help him through these traumatic moments. The first couple of things he removed from the box weren't linked to his unhappy childhood, and this was the first item that had raised a reaction.

"I don't remember this photo," he declared once she handed it back. He stared at it a bit longer before putting it to one side and reaching into the box for something else. He came up with a handful of photos. "Might as well go for broke, huh?" he said with a shrug that was more nonchalant than he felt.

"Wanna come sit up here? You'll see better," Jack suggested, patting the couch next to him. She took the hint, sitting by his side and watching intently while he placed the photos on his knees and started to browse. "Oh!" he exclaimed when he saw the first one.

Sam gazed at a photo of what appeared to be the whole family on vacation. The O'Neill's were sitting on a beach, looking relaxed and happy, Jack with his brothers dotted around a sandcastle in the foreground, a proud expression on his face, and his parents sitting behind on towels, grinning. Jack was obviously still very young, maybe no more than six or seven.

"I remember that vacation," he said enthusiastically. "It was great! Dad helped us build that sandcastle. I remember ice-cream." Jack grinned boyishly at the memory. "We had a good time. Mom and dad were kind of cool on that vacation." His voice tailed off and he added wistfully, "I don't recall us having that many vacations, but this was the best. Wish we could have had more good times like that." He sighed sadly and Sam's heart could have broken in two, but she refrained from comment and let Jack's thoughts ramble.

The next few photos were of various family members on that same vacation. They each provoked a comment that spoke of happy times, including one of his mother and father smiling broadly, taken from a crooked angle and with the tops of their heads cut off.

"Hey, I took that! I was so young and dad let me take it. God, that's weird. I'd forgotten all about it. I was so excited and he was so patient as he explained how to use the camera and then… he let it go, trusting I wouldn't drop it. I remember mom and dad kissing briefly before they posed." He paused, looking up at Sam. "There's so much I'd forgotten."

"I'm glad these bring you some good memories," she replied, running her hand briefly along his forearm.

"But what happened, Sam? Why…?" Jack looked baffled.

"I wish I could tell you."

"Guess I'll never know or understand. None of us ever really know all of it, do we?" Sam knew it was a rhetorical question so said nothing and Jack pulled his eyes away, back to the photo, staring at it a while longer before placing it on the 'looked at' pile.

"I wonder why they kept it?" he questioned. "It's a crappy photo."

"Maybe they kept it because you took it."

"That so doesn't sound like my parents."

She reached over to the photo and picked it up again, turning it in her hand to peruse the back before handing it to him. "Your mother wrote something." Jack looked, his face a picture of stunned disbelief.

"It says 'Jonathan's first photograph'. Son of a… you're right! That-that's kind of strange."

"Did you look at any of the others?" Sam asked and Jack shook his head.

"Only a couple."

He picked up the small pile of photos and turned them with their backs facing up, sifting through and pausing when he got to one that bore handwriting, then turning it to look at the photo and the writing with astonishment. There were comments like 'Jonathan's first sandcastle. We were so proud' written on some of them.

Trying not to think too hard about that, Jack moved swiftly on to look at the next batch of photos, but Sam could see those few words scrawled on old photographs affected him deeply.

There were quite a few snapshots, some of people Jack couldn't recall and he didn't know if they were family or not, some of his brothers and mother and father, some of Jack. Sam thought he'd been a good-looking child, and you could tell he was going to be very handsome when he grew older. Indeed, she believed him more handsome now than ever. The Jonathan in the photographs was a far cry from that man, so different from her Jack.

"You okay?" she asked.

"No, but I will be," he replied with a faint smile. She gave his arm a quick squeeze and he turned his attention back to the box.

Underneath the photos, Jack found smaller boxes, some of which contained a few items of his mother's jewellery. He didn't believe any of it would be worth a lot, as his family hadn't been very well off, but there was much of sentimental value. He could remember occasions when he'd seen his mother wear one piece or another, the recall so vivid that he imagined he could smell her perfume and feel her embrace. So much he'd forgotten…

"If you want any of this…" he said to Sam, indicating the jewellery with a wave of his hand. "Those earrings are pretty, and this necklace, and that broach." With uncanny accuracy, he picked out the pieces he thought might suit Sam or that she might like.

"You can't give me those," she protested.

"Why not? They'll only get put back in this box and sit hidden away somewhere for years, won't they? I want you to have them."

"I'm not sure… every time I wear something it will remind you of your mother. I'm not sure that's good."

Jack grasped her arm reassuringly. "These bring back some good memories, really they do," he said with a small smile. "Take 'em. You'll be my wife, Sam, they belong to you now mom's gone. What's mine is yours, all that, Mrs O'Neill – well nearly."

His smile broadened and he kissed the tip of her nose affectionately. "Guess I ought to practice. Mrs O'Neill, Mrs O'Neill, Mrs O'Neill…" he repeated with a teasing grin. Sam was happy to see him smiling as she hadn't really expected that while they were sorting the box.

"Sounds good," she remarked, "but what do you think about Carter-O'Neill, or O'Neill-Carter?"

"Ack!" responded Jack, telling Sam everything she needed to know of his views on that subject.

"Yeah, pretty awful. I don't really want double-barrelled."

"So you'll just stick with Carter, huh?"

"Colonel Carter, Mrs O'Neill," she replied, making Jack beam with delight.

"Sweet! Could get real confusing, but I like it. Can't say I'm surprised. You've only wanted to be Mrs O'Neill since you were 13, after all," Jack mocked with a smirk.

Sam rolled her eyes. "I am so never going to live that down, am I?"

"Aw, come on Dorothy, let Mr Scarecrow have his fun." Jack pouted amusingly and Sam laughed. "I love that you had a crush on me, go figure."

"Well, it's gone way beyond a crush now, flyboy."

"You bet," Jack agreed with a grin. "Will you take the jewellery? I'd really like you to."

She nodded. "I'd be honored to wear it, Jack."

He kissed her briefly on the lips and then turned his attention to one of the smaller boxes. "Whoa!" he exclaimed when he opened it to find it filled with letters. "These are addressed to my mom in my grandma's handwriting."

Studying the envelopes, and briefly scanning the contents of some letters he chose at random, Jack sighed, looking thoughtful and tapping the paper against his hand.

"They seem to be from my grandma to my mom, telling her about me, enclosing photos… I never knew." He waved one in the air. "This one tells mom I joined the Air Force, tells her how proud she would be of her son. There's a photo of me in uniform. This one's from when I was in high school, telling her I'd met a nice girl and was doing well in my classes."

"So your mom took more of an interest than you thought."

"Apparently." Jack seemed shocked and bewildered by that fact and sank back in the couch, staring up at the ceiling and brushing through his hair with one hand. "Why didn't grandma ever say anything? Why didn't mom write to me? If she'd only… oh god!"

"Are you going to read them?" Sam asked, touching him briefly on his thigh.

"Sure, later. Let's finish the box, see what else is here." He sat up again, mind racing furiously about what he'd learned. Jack had never for one moment suspected his mom and grandma kept in touch. From what he'd scanned, the correspondence seemed sporadic, sometimes separated by years, and based around major events in Jack's life. But his mom must have replied because he had spotted a couple of references to her letters. It was going to be really weird to read the details of his grandmother's account and see how she viewed him.

He delved into the larger box and picked out another letter. The name "Jonathan O'Neill" appeared on the front in a woman's scrawl, addressed to him at his grandma and grandpa's cabin in Minnesota, but with no indication it had ever been posted. The paper almost looked new, but the letter was old, probably never having seen the light of day for many years so having little opportunity to fade or yellow with age.

Jack was filled with uncertainty, disturbed by the notion of reading this letter from his mom, intended for him but never sent all those years ago, only to resurface now his mother was gone. If she'd wanted him to read it she would have sent it, wouldn't she? But how could he refrain from reading it?

"Crap!" he muttered under his breath.

"Jack?" Sam's voice was filled with apprehension.

"I'm fine," he replied, taking a breath, opening the letter and starting to read. Sam watched as Jack's eyes moved over the page and was shocked to see tears in them, although he never let them fall, sniffing them back. He handed her the letter and she read it in silence.

_"Jonathan, my darling son," _it read.

_"Maybe one of these days you'll get to read this because I surely won't be sending it to you, but it helps me to write stuff down sometimes. You're probably too young to understand anyway, and you're headstrong and unforgiving, although I can't say I blame you for that. You're my son and I let you down. _

_"I probably never should have had children. I never was much good at mothering and all my boys suffered because of that, especially you, my first-born and treasure. I'm too weak to be a good mother, too selfish, too afraid, and your father is too strong and overpowering. I wither in his shadow, and he scares me, but I can forget that when I'm drinking, pretend everything is all right and be happy for a while and then sleep peacefully. _

_"I'm proud you stood up to him, even though it means I lost you. But I lost you to a better and happier place, and much better people in your grandma and grandpa, or I hope so for your sake. You'll be safe there, can run wild like you should, and become a much better man than I could make you._

_"I never was much of a one for words. I just need you to know I love you, son, although I doubt you'd realise it. I hope one day I can tell you that and you can forgive me for everything I've done, and even more for everything I haven't._

_Your loving mother"_

As she finished reading, Sam felt tears pricking at her eyes and wondered what Jack was thinking. Enfolding him her arms, she rocked him against her, soothing his hair with her hand.

"I'm glad you're here, Sam," he said after a lengthy silence.

"So am I."

"I never dreamed, never thought…"

"Never thought what? That your mother loved you, cared about you?" Sam probed.

"Yeah."

Sam waited for Jack to say more, but he didn't, so she didn't push. She just hoped the letter would help with his grief, help him to mourn the loss of his mother and perhaps that happy childhood he had missed, and bring him some peace of mind. Lord knows, he needed that.


	32. Never Alone: Under the Weather

Title: Never Alone 32: Under the Weather

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Use of mild language

Spoilers: None

Summary: Jack is under the weather and simply wants to be left alone with his grumpy mood, but the fates intervene

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

Author's Note: Thanks to Lynette for giving this a quick once over, and to all those people who are still following this seemingly never-ending series.

**Never Alone 32: Under the Weather**

Jack struggled to the door, still debating whether to ignore it and go bury his head under the bedcovers. He felt crap: head and sinuses throbbing; nose tingly and sore, undecided whether it should be running wildly or stuffed up - either way it wasn't much use for breathing - throat rasping; lungs struggling as they forced hacking coughs from their depths; muscles aching like he'd just run a marathon. All these were his main symptoms - in other words, Jack O'Neill had a cold, or what some might call man-flu, and he was so not a happy camper.

"If I cough and sneeze all over 'em it'll serve 'em right," he grumbled about his unwelcome and unexpected caller as he plodded along the hall. The last thing he wanted or needed was a visitor. Jack just wished to be left alone with his cold, and his consequent bad mood. Peace and quiet was what he craved. Peace, quiet and a few dozen scotches to blow the cold away.

"I don't want any!" he snapped upon opening the door a crack and then, through watery eyes, peered in astonishment at his visitor. "Jimmy?"

Jimmy looked his old friend up and down, noting his dishevelled appearance. Jack wore jogging pants and what seemed to be a few layers of sweater, his hair was mussed, his eyes and nose reddened and running and voice filled with cold, impairing his speech in that nasal, bunged up kind of way colds do. He reached into the pocket of his pants, pulling out a tissue and blowing his itchy, mucus filled nose.

"Um, hi Jack. You look and sound awful. Shouldn't you be in bed?" Jimmy said trying to look cheery. He could see this was a bad moment to turn up without warning.

"I would be if I wasn't answering the damned door!" Jack countered caustically.

"Oh, um, I just happened to be passing… maybe I should, um…" Blasted as he was by Jack's ire, Jimmy's tone was hesitant.

"You don't just happen to pass by my house, Jimmy," he replied sarcastically. "What is it?"

"Um, sorry, I should um…" Jimmy said, gesticulating towards his car.

Jack sighed resignedly, curious about what his old friend might want. As he'd said, people don't just happen to pass by his house. Jimmy must want or need something and, however grumpy and crappy he might feel, Jimmy was a good friend, and great company. Although he wasn't sure he wanted company, Jimmy might be just the tonic he needed. Standing back and pulling the door open wider, Jack indicated he should enter with a wave of his hand. Jimmy stood there undecidedly until Jack lost patience.

"For crying out loud, get in here will ya? I'll catch my death…"

Jimmy grinned. "You always had a penchant for melodrama, Jack."

"Ya think?" he croaked, meeting Jimmy's grin with one of his own. "Can I get you something?" Jack offered, leading Jimmy into the kitchen where the visitor noticed a bowl of hot steaming water and a towel sitting on the table awaiting Jack's head to submit to its sinus cleansing properties. The table was littered with used tissues and a large box waiting to be opened.

"So, weren't in bed after all huh?" he commented.

"What do you think?" Jack intoned with a hint of sarcasm.

"Is that scotch?" Jimmy asked, spying a bottle of amber liquid on the kitchen counter.

"Sure is," Jack replied, swaying with fatigue. "Want one?"

"Sit down, before you fall down. I'll get it. This is your cold cure?"

"Something like that."

Jimmy chuckled, finding a couple of glasses and pouring two large scotches, while Jack did as he was told and sat down, feeling a little feverish and unsteady. Plonking himself in a chair opposite his friend, Jimmy slid a glass of scotch towards him and set the bottle on the table.

"To cold cures!" he toasted and both men raised their glasses and took a large gulp.

"To cold cures!" Jack agreed, indicating Jimmy should pour more, which he did. "Don't mind catching my cold?" he asked, reaching for the box of tissues, opening it and blowing his nose on one. "My nose is sore," he whined.

"Awww, poor Jack," Jimmy retorted unsympathetically. "Let me clear up these tissues for you. I'm impervious to colds, you know that." He plucked up the tissues and got rid of them, while Jack added a few more to the detritus. Spying an empty plastic shopping bag flung carelessly onto the counter, Jimmy brought it back over to the table. "Here, use this for the trash," he suggested, sitting again and sipping more scotch.

"Thanks. Good idea," Jack said amiably. "I'd forgotten about that weird cold thing of yours. What's your secret Jimmy?"

"I really have no idea. Wish I did, I could sell it for a fortune and I sure could use the money."

"You need money? I'll get my check book," Jack offered without hesitation, starting to rise from his chair. Jimmy's hand shot out to stop him.

"No, no Jack! That's not why I'm here. Well, not exactly."

"I'm all ears." He regarded his friend as attentively as his sore, bloodshot eyes would allow.

"Right, um, we got your wedding invitation, by the way," he said, changing the subject, unsure how to proceed. "Wouldn't miss it."

"So, you're coming. Great."

"What about a stag night, old friend?"

"Ack!" Jack waved his hand dismissively. "I'm getting too old for that crap. I'm not sure I want to end up naked in Timbuktu!" His mind ranged around the kinds of mischief that might occur at a stag party, but he didn't really think he could get away without having one, and neither did he really want to. When he felt better he really should organise it, and Jack realised he should speak to Daniel about that.

"Come on. I wouldn't do that to my dear old friend Jack. Not just before his wedding."

"Sure," Jack scoffed sceptically, sneezing into one of the tissues and then discarding it. Briefly, he played with his scotch, swirling it around the glass and then downing it in one, and reaching for a refill. It sure was helping that sore throat and cough.

"Really! Besides, Sam would kill me."

"She probably would at that," Jack replied with a chuckle, imagining Sam's reaction if his friends got him into trouble on his stag night.

"Where is Timbuktu anyway?"

Jack paused for a moment. "Africa, I think."

"Long way."

"Yeah. Nice climate to be left naked in though," Jack intoned wistfully.

"Yeah." Jimmy smirked.

Silence fell and Jack found his impatience rising. "Come on Jimmy, spill. Stop avoiding the issue."

"Issue? I told you, I was passing…"

Jack threw him a look that told him he knew better and Jimmy fell silent again. The pregnant pause lengthened while Jimmy gathered his thoughts and Jack started to drum his fingers on the table, willing his friend to get on with it.

"I'm gonna ask Jane to marry me." His eyes flittered away from Jack's unsettling gaze and the older man's restless fingers stilled, his rheumy eyes widening with shock, and then he broke out into a fit of coughing.

'So much for the scotch cure,' he thought. 'Not had enough yet.'

"Marry you?" he queried when the cough subsided and he'd caught his breath. "The eternal bachelor is gonna get married?" He took another large slug of scotch, feeling slightly woozy, but hopeful it would make him feel better. So what if he passed out? Passing out would be an improvement on the way he felt while semi-alert and suffering. He noticed Jimmy hadn't touched more drink, but knew his friend was driving and wondered if he should offer him coffee.

"She hasn't said yes yet," Jimmy responded, his eyes soulful as he pondered Jane rebuffing his proposal.

"Only because you haven't asked. She'll say yes." Jack's voice held a certainty Jimmy wished he shared and he looked up into his friend's eyes once again.

"You really think so?" he asked, his insecurity clear from his tone.

For a moment, Jack was bemused by this attitude from his normally cocky and confident friend. His forehead furrowed into a puzzled frown and then he recalled what love and doubt could do to a man. Been there, done that and it could be way too unnerving. "You think she'll say no?" he asked, searching his friend's face for a sign.

Jimmy paused thoughtfully before responding. "Not really, I guess, but you never know about these things for sure."

"No, right. I know that feeling." His slight frown was empathetic.

"Yeah. Twice."

Jack winced at that comment. "No need to rub it in," he objected hoarsely.

"I didn't mean…" Jimmy started to protest.

"Okay! So I'm being a little sensitive," Jack interrupted. "I'm not exactly at my best, go figure." Jimmy nodded in agreement, his demeanour slightly more sympathetic. "Hey, do you want coffee, Jimmy?" Once again he started to get up and Jimmy stopped him.

"For crying out loud, Jack, stay! You aren't capable of standing up straight, let alone making coffee. If I want some, I'll make it. I know where everything is. You want some?"

Jack shook his head. "More scotch," he said, taking another hit.

"Have you taken anything other than scotch for this cold?" Jimmy asked, glaring at Jack accusingly.

"Sure, painkillers."

"You need me to pop out and get you anything while I'm here?"

"Maybe. Thanks. I'll think about it." Jack eyed him gratefully and started to think about shopping. He probably could so with a few bits and pieces and it was good of Jimmy to offer. He couldn't think straight so gave up, grasping his head in his hands and feeling dejected. Jimmy couldn't fail to notice.

"Maybe you should lie down. We could take this into the living room." Without looking up, Jack knew he meant the scotch and nodded agreement, pulling himself together sufficiently to pick up the glasses and head for the couch, while Jimmy followed with the bottle, tissues and the plastic trash bag.

While Jimmy took an armchair close by, Jack sank into the cosy embrace of the couch, although did not lie down. Jimmy opened his mouth to say something about that but thought better of it. Instead he tackled an easier subject because he knew persuading Jack to lie down would be a difficult one.

"So, tell me something, Jack, are you getting pre-wedding jitters?"

"Isn't that meant to be the bride?"

"I'm pretty sure grooms get them too."

"Maybe as it gets closer. I don't know. Why would I be jittery? I'm marrying Sam, for Christ's sake." Jack thought that cause for celebration, not an acute case of nerves. Even if he felt them he probably would never admit it.

"Why would you be jittery? You have to ask? You're getting married in a few weeks, that why. Aren't you worried? Wondering if you're doing the right thing? Nervous she won't show? All that?"

"I'm doing the right thing. That's the one thing in my crazy life I am certain about." Jack tone held no doubts.

"You think that now…"

"Shit, you just told me you're gonna ask Jane. Stop doing a Jimmy on me about getting married!" Jack started coughing again, and held a tissue to his mouth, then blew his nose and picked up a fresh one to mop his sweaty brow.

"Sorry. Old habits." Jimmy shrugged, a contrite expression on his face.

"I can't believe a woman actually managed to hook you. I gotta say, buddy, you've made a great choice. I like Jane, although can't help but wonder… if she marries you... exactly how many broken hearts are you leaving behind, if you're leaving them behind?"

"I haven't cheated on Jane!" Jimmy protested vehemently.

Jack suppressed the rising thoughts about his own recent transgression, the last thing on Earth he was going mention to Jimmy, who would never let him live that down. Many times his old friend had made fun of his faithfulness to Sara, and had even tried to lead Jack astray on occasion, a fruitless ambition only half-heartedly attempted. Jimmy knew Jack better.

It had been somewhat of a relief for Jack to discover Sam believed she knew him better too. His aspirations for as much honesty and openness as possible in that relationship could have backfired badly and Jack knew it. "Act in haste, repent at leisure" was an old cliche, although Jack didn't believe his repentance had been in the least bit leisurely and imagined what had happened might still come back to bite him on the ass at any time.

"Hey, man, I didn't mean anything," he said holding up his hand to signal an apology, "Although I have to admit, that's a minor miracle."

"Contrary to popular opinion, I can keep my dick in my pants," Jimmy said snarkily.

"Sure." The solitary word was filled with scepticism.

"Jack…!" Jimmy started to protest, only to be interrupted by his old friend.

"All right, already! I'm just sayin'…"

The two men glowered at each other momentarily until Jack glanced away, pinching the top of his nose with his fingers and sniffing.

"You okay?" Jimmy asked.

"Do I look okay?" Jack snapped.

"Right! I get the bad mood. Maybe I should get going." He started to get up. "If you want me to pick up anything…"

"For crying out loud, sit down!" Jack barked, overwhelmed by another bout of coughing. "I'm sorry," he added once it had subsided. "So I'm feeling crap. I'll get over it. Why'd you come, Jimmy? Just to tell me about asking Jane to marry you? I get the feeling you're holding out on me, playing avoidance."

Jimmy sat again, looking slightly uncomfortable at Jack's astuteness. "Well, there was something else…"

Jack arched his eyebrows curiously. "So? You gonna put me out of my misery?"

"I'm not sure this is the right time." His tone was reluctant.

That piqued Jack's curiosity further. What did Jimmy want or need that made him feel he should catch Jack in a more sympathetic and open mood?

"Any time is the right time, Jimmy. We're friends, right? And I owe you a few." He recalled the number of times Jimmy had probably saved his scrawny butt and regretted snapping. But he was ill, right? Didn't he have the right to be foul? In the circumstances, Jack thought he'd been doing pretty well. Most other folks would have been turned away at the front door.

"You have no obligation to me, Jack. Let's make that clear okay?"

"That's not true!" Jack remonstrated fervently and Jimmy nodded.

"Okay, we probably both owe each other. I just don't want you to do anything because you feel obliged, that's all."

"Anything like what?" Jack was losing patience with his friend and just wanted him to get on with it and give him some peace. His eyes and mouth narrowed suspiciously and, seeing his expression, Jimmy decided he had to get it over with.

"Okay, here it is. I'd like to start my own fancy restaurant." Jack's eyes widened with surprise but he said nothing. "I'm sick of playing nice for other people to be making all the money. It's time to play nice for me. I know a lot of people in the business in DC, useful people: interior designers, chefs, waiters, all that. And I know a lot of punters too, who might come eat and if they like it spread the good word. I've got some money put to one side, and maybe I can get more from the bank, but not enough. I don't want this to be just another restaurant. I want it to be special, plush, expensive. And I'm looking for an investor."

Jack's gaped at him open mouthed. "And you're asking me?" he asked incredulously.

"Um… in a nutshell, yeah. What do you think?"

"I, er, shit! I don't know what to think. I don't know anything about the restaurant business."

"But I do."

"Why me?"

"Because I'm betting you have money stashed away. No way do you ever spend it all, Jack. And I can imagine us being okay as partners. If it's a success, you'll make a good profit, a regular income. And you and Sam would always be able to get the best seats in the house." Jimmy grinned cheekily, and winked.

"If it's a success? That's isn't exactly a hard sell, Jimmy."

"I'd never try and con you, Jack. It's a risk. You might lose it all and never see a cent of it back." Jack nodded, mulling it over in his befuddled head. "Of course I'd expect you to want to look at my business plan, all of that," Jimmy added hastily. "I wouldn't want you to come into it blind. And I'd give you a say, of course - the location, decor and all that stuff. We'd do it all properly, legally. You could be a silent partner if you want. You might prefer that. It sounds more like you…"

"As I said, I don't know anything about the restaurant business."

"Is that your way of saying no? I'd understand, really I would."

"No, it's my way of saying I'm confused, surprised, thinkin'..."

"I guess it is a bit of a bolt out of the blue."

"Ya think?"

Jimmy tried to keep a closed expression on his face, biting back disappointment. He knew approaching Jack was a long shot, and was only guessing his old friend had any money to invest in the first place. He hoped Jack would give the idea some serious thought.

Sensing his friend's discomfort, Jack continued. "I'll have to talk to Sam about it, see what she thinks."

"You need permission?" Jimmy asked sarcastically and Jack threw him a dirty look.

"We're getting married. What's mine is hers. You think I'd go into this without talking to her? Jeez, Jimmy…"

"So you tell her everything?"

Jack nodded. "More or less."

Jimmy looked taken aback. "Is that what it takes to make it work? Is that what I have to do with Jane?"

"You don't already? Are you sure about marrying her?"

"Never surer of anything."

"Then don't shut her out. I made that mistake with Sara and I'm trying hard to learn from that lesson with Sam. It isn't easy, but I'm working on it."

Jimmy noticed some pain and regret flicker across Jack's face but didn't think he would thank him for probing too deeply.

"I'll bear it in mind."

"It's not really any of my business…"

"But you have some experience in that area I don't have. You and Sara were happily married for ten years. I envied you that."

It was Jack's turn to be surprised. "Whoa! You envied me? You were always the ultimate bachelor. I should have envied you."

"But you didn't, did you? You had what you really wanted. I guess I always hoped deep down that I could meet someone to have that with too."

Jack smiled. "Well now you have and it was probably worth the wait. Don't screw it up."

"You're a lucky guy to find someone to have that with again, Jack."

"You figure? I don't intend for this to demean what I had with Sara, it could never have been the same for lots of reasons, but Sam and I… it's way more than that. A lot more."

Comparing Sara and Sam didn't really sit comfortably with Jack. He had loved his ex-wife very much, he really had. Still did in some ways, but not in the yearning to get back with her sense - not after all this time. He had some very fond and wonderful memories of their years together. They'd been happy until the unthinkable happened.

He and Sam, however, had originally forged their relationship on battlefields, brushes with death and saving the world. That made one heck of a difference. It changed everything. Hell, there was no comparison and any such thoughts were unfair to both Sara and Sam.

"Then I'm real happy for you, old buddy," Jimmy commented warmly.

"So am I. Couldn't be happier."

The distant, whimsical look on his friend's face, obviously thinking about Sam, made Jimmy smile. After Charlie died, Jimmy hadn't believed Jack could ever be happy again. They'd lost touch because Jack had frozen him out, along with all his other friends from those years, but Jimmy had often thought about him and wondered how he was getting along. It pleased Jimmy to have made contact again and discover his friend had managed to find someone special like Sam, someone who could make him happy again.

"Sam is kind of special, Jack."

"I know it." His concurrence was heartily felt and expressed.

"Then I hope you don't screw up."

"So do I, old friend, so do I." Jack didn't mention he'd come pretty close to doing exactly that. Never again. Never.

A loud rapping at his front door put an end to the discussion. Jack was half grateful for the interruption. Jimmy's proposition was intriguing, but the notion had blown his currently enfeebled mind and he had to give it a lot more thought, and couldn't wait for the chance to discuss it with Sam. Investing in a restaurant was risky. The restaurant business could be a volatile market; even Jack knew that.

He opened the door to the big smile of Francine Butler extending her arms to offer him whatever lurked in the bag therein.

"What is this, love your neighbour day?" he quipped grouchily.

"Jack, darling, don't be such a grump. Daniel called. Sam told him you've got a cold and of course I wanted to check you're okay. Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"I've got a visitor."

"So two will kill you, or what? I've got chicken soup!" she teased joggling the bag as if that should gain her entrance.

"Actually one's probably one too many," he stated, hoping to ward off her visitation. He should have known better. This was Francine, after all. She could be very persistent.

"I won't stay long. Let me into the kitchen and I'll heat you up some soup," she said, pushing her way past Jack, who groaned.

"Chicken soup? Francine, what the hell…?"

"Didn't you know chicken soup is an old Jewish cure for everything? This is just like the one grandma Cohen used to make."

"You're Jewish?" Jack sounded confused but Francine said nothing, just striding into the kitchen to unpack and warm the soup. He followed, as bemused as always by the overly enthusiastic and effusive Francine, more so then ever because of his cold, the overall vagueness caused by it, as well as the large quantity of scotch he'd just knocked back.

On seeing the bowl and towel Francine quickly whisked them away. "You won't be needing those, not when you've got chicken soup," she declared.

"Stop!" Jack cried, following her in. "I don't want chicken soup. I've got my own cure all thanks."

"I'll have you know this is the best chicken soup this side of the Delaware. There's no need to be so ungracious." She sounded hurt and Jack regretted his lack of gratitude, appearing chastened.

"Who is it, Jack?" Jimmy said, entering the room. "Whoa!" he exclaimed under his breath when he saw Francine. Although he hadn't intended it, Jack heard and rolled his eyes, giving Jimmy a dirty look.

"Jimmy, this is Francine. One of my neighbours." The introduction sounded reluctant.

Jimmy held out his hand to shake hers. "A pleasure, ma'am."

"Francine, Jimmy. An old friend," Jack added.

"The pleasure is mutual." She smiled in her most flirtatious way, eyes glittering with delight. Jack wasn't sure what Jimmy had, but he had it in large quantities. Women loved him, always had. He wasn't certain he could stomach the antics of two such all-devouring flirts.

"So, how's Daniel?" he asked pointedly and Francine gave him a long cool look.

"We aren't joined at the hip."

"Really?" So the Francine/Daniel thing isn't an exclusive relationship? Jack wondered whether Daniel knew that. "Well, Jimmy was just telling me about his wedding plans, weren't you Jimmy?"

"Oh, I… sure Jack." Jimmy withered under his friend's steely gaze but Francine ignored it.

"Oh talking of weddings, Jack I so intend to come and see you and Sam get hitched. Won't Daniel be an adorable best man? Is he wearing morning dress or what? He'd look so hot. Can you imagine the kind of speech…? Are you sure you want Daniel to do it?" In Francine like way her questions ran together with no pause between to allow for any kind of reply.

Having finished with Jack for now, she turned her attention back to Jimmy. "So you're getting married too. The best men always do, darling. Pity - you're cute! How about a drink? I bet that's Jack's cure. No chicken soup? Bah!"

"Chicken soup? You brought chicken soup?" Jimmy's eyes lit up and he smiled.

"You'd like some?" she asked, delighted. "Oh, the drink can wait. I'll warm up the soup. Jack you'll have some too won't you?" The question was asked in a tone that brooked no argument and, thus, Francine took over, determined to fulfil her self-appointed task of looking after Jack until he was better, moving and talking like a whirlwind and leaving the two men reeling from the shock of her dominating presence.

As she waited for the soup to heat up, Francine's over energetic enthusiasm calmed a little and she eyed Jack appraisingly. "You should go back in the living room and rest. I'll bring the soup in." Jack nodded his silent agreement but looked enquiringly at both the other occupants of the house, reluctant to leave them alone.

"Jack, don't look so worried about leaving us two flirts alone," Francine reassured him. "Jimmy and I didn't mean anything by it. We really were kidding around, weren't we Jimmy?" The man nodded agreement, but Jack appeared to be sceptical and still didn't budge. "Right now I'm Daniel's woman through and through," she said moving toward Jack, taking his hand and squeezing it. "He-he's a wonderful man and I totally adore him."

"I don't want him to get hurt, that's all." Jack replied, searching her eyes, and believing she meant what she said.

"I know you just want to protect Daniel but maybe you should be more worried about him hurting me," she responded, so quietly that Jack only just heard her words. He smiled softly and squeezed her hand back, nodding.

"I think he's nuts about you too, Francine. He never tells me anything, but I think so."

Francine grinned. She might have been flirting with Jimmy, but her mind had definitely been elsewhere – on an archaeologist who had stolen her heart, and lived too far away. She missed him so much her heart ached for wanting him.

Maybe one of these days she'd be able to tell him that, and maybe one of these days he'd be able to admit it to her as well. She certainly hoped Jack was right about him. She wasn't used to falling so hard and so deep. It had caught her by surprise and now she was well and truly hooked on the good Doctor Daniel Jackson, and thankful for the day Jack had moved into her neighbourhood and introduced her to him.

Letting go of his hand, she pulled him into her arms for a friendly hug. "Thanks," she whispered in his ear, "for saying that, and for introducing us in the first place. I hope you're right."

"I'm pretty sure I'm right. And I think you're probably good for him. Wasn't so sure at first, but… I'm comin' round," Jack replied in an equally low voice, then he gently pushed her away. "You really don't want to be catchin' this cold."

"I'll be okay. I've got chicken soup," she replied with a wink, and Jack chuckled. "One of these days you have to let me into the secret of how you and Sam handle this long distance relationship thing."

"You miss him?"

"Of course."

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Wish I knew the secret, Francine. I miss Sam too. Jeez, we used to live in the same city. Typical that I had to wait until living in a different State before we even started dating." The last was imbued with a hint of irony and an emphasising roll of eyes.

"Poor baby," she said sympathetically, patting his arm. "Go rest, Jack. You need to take better care of yourself."

"Looks like I've got a few friends willing to do that for me."

"Any time, neighbour. Now, scoot!"

Jack looked towards Jimmy. "I'm staying for chicken soup, if Francine doesn't mind. I love chicken soup," his friend said. "Go lie down, Jack. For crying out loud, you're dead on your feet."

Jack nodded. 'Oy! To have such friends!' he thought, leaving Francine and Jimmy to it and throwing himself onto the couch to lie down at last. Five minutes later when Francine popped her head around the door, he was fast asleep and snoring loudly enough to wake the dead.


	33. Never Alone: Girl Talk

This Sam focussed chapter of the series was written as a kind of balance to the Jack focus of the previous chapter. Normal angst/romance shippy service will be resumed in the next chapter - Su :-)

Title: Never Alone 33: Girl Talk

Category: Angst/Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: References to sexual situations

Season: S9 onwards

Spoilers: Singularity

Summary: Sam was thinking the young woman must have an ulterior motive for this unannounced visit, but didn't question it further. It would all come tumbling out eventually, of that she had no doubt.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

Author's Note: Thanks are due to Lynette (Flatkatsi) for taking a look at this story even though it should have a "this fic contains large doses of sap" health warning. That's what I call going above and beyond the call of duty. I am, as ever, very grateful for her suggestions and corrections. Any mistakes or sap remaining is entirely my own.

**Never Alone 33: Girl Talk**

Jack never had been a man who took to illness or injury kindly, or its treatment and cure. He would whine about being made to stay in bed, grumble about his inactivity and boredom, and generally make some people's lives a misery; particularly the dedicated and hard working nurses in the SGC infirmary.

Man-flu, that's what he'd been suffering – man-flu. Sam had almost been grateful she was in Colorado hidden under a mountain, while he luxuriated in his misery miles away in Alexandria. Men - sheesh! Jack would never have made as much fuss about a more serious illness or injury. How ironic was that? For crying out loud, he only had a cold.

She loved Jack and all, but that for better or worse vow she had to make should not include having to suffer any man laid low with man-flu. What did God take her for? Sam had admonished Jack about whinging and hung up the phone on him more than once, only to regret it immediately, call back to apologise, and leave herself open to more carping.

Actually, she suspected he deliberately exaggerated because he knew it bugged her. Gotta love that guy, but not when he had man-flu. Once they were married, she'd have none of it, or leave him - really she would. Sam chuckled to herself at that notion. As if.

Next time she saw him, maybe even spoke to him, he would probably be full of sweetness and light, as adorable as ever. She wasn't holding out much hope of ever thinking otherwise. Not that she wanted it any other way. Jack O'Neill could be a frustrating and infuriating man, but his smile could make her grin in a heartbeat, and there was no doubt their pheromones were compatible in a big way. The mental bond had been strong for many years, and had strengthened, but now they had a powerful physical bond too.

Mated for life. Sam had no qualms about that, man-flu or no man-flu.

She pondered her last conversation with Jack. In between griping about the cold and how crap he was feeling, he'd told her about Jimmy's proposition. Initially, the notion of Jack part-owning a swanky restaurant amused her. It wasn't something she would ever have imagined. However, he seemed enthusiastic about the idea. Mostly he wanted to help Jimmy out, but she detected his interest ran deeper than merely helping an old friend he felt indebted to.

If the restaurant was profitable, it wasn't like Jack needed the money. They could both retire right now and live well on their pensions if they wanted, but they didn't want. Their work was important, and way more so than most people knew. It wasn't just a matter of saving the planet, they enjoyed their jobs - it was as simple as that.

Jack might grumble about the paperwork, but he'd grown accustomed to his position, the politics, and the power it gave him. Not that Jack either wanted or wielded power for power's sake, that wasn't his style, but he knew he could make a difference. That was very important to him. Making a difference was something Jack lived for, always had. Sure, he missed the action, but now seemed to accept his lot in life. He could do more to help the program than he ever could have before, and he made the most of that.

Of course if the restaurant wasn't successful the loss of money might hit them, but probably not too hard. They wouldn't be left down and out as a result. That risk was Jimmy's. Jack had a tidy pile of dollars pilfered away, and never spent everything he earned because the Air Force paid for so much. The same went for her, and Jack would hardly let her touch her smaller pile of savings when they were together.

Her fiance could be traditional in that respect. Go figure - he was a man and that meant she didn't need to pay for anything. When she insisted, which was frequently, there was no arguing. Jack humored her desire for independence. Actually, he respected and understood it, although Sam had to admit she quite enjoyed the old-fashioned treatment sometimes. Jack made her feel special and what was wrong with that?

He said if Jimmy couldn't make a go of it, no one could, and seemed confident of success, although Jack knew he needed to consider the proposals in detail and do it by the book as his friend suggested. Jimmy might be a friend, but Jack had his wits about him and wasn't blinded by that.

Even so, his enthusiasm radiated down the phone and made him forget the man-flu thing. Sam had been thankful for that. She'd told him she'd support his decision 100, whatever it was, and could envisage his smile of appreciation for that encouragement.

Sam had been thrilled to hear about Jimmy's marriage plans. She had taken a liking to both of them: Jimmy's natural charm was irresistible, and Jane exuded a certain something that was hard to pin down, but made her very congenial company. They were a couple worth spending time with and she hoped Jane would say yes to Jimmy's proposal. Jack didn't seem to have any doubts on that score, and he knew them better than her so Sam had high hopes for the pair.

Francine had called round to fuss over Jack too, and he hadn't even complained about it. Sam knew how much he liked to hide himself away and lick his wounds when sick, so his forbearance surprised her. He'd actually been quite flattering about the woman whose relationship with Daniel had given him cause for concern.

Jack had often said he thought Francine wasn't right for Daniel - too overbearing, too flirtatious, too much of almost everything. Sam realised he was being protective and didn't want to see Daniel get hurt. Now it seemed he had changed his mind about her and thought she was good for their friend, and Sam didn't disagree. She wasn't sure what had won him around, but Jack appeared to believe Francine had genuine feelings for Daniel. She didn't disagree with that either. Why wouldn't Francine feel that way? Daniel was a good man, one of the best.

Almost any woman should be happy to spend time with him, enjoy his company, and even love him. He was a loveable kind of guy, and very good-looking with it. Sam wasn't attracted to him in that way herself, but this didn't mean she couldn't see the appeal. She loved Daniel, platonically for sure, but she loved him nonetheless.

He wasn't the same man she had met so many years ago, but they'd all changed, mainly for the better, and partly because of their influence on each other. Daniel had toughened up, Jack had mellowed, Teal'c had become more human, she had gained confidence, and these changes were just the tip of a very large iceberg.

Sam wondered if she would have been ready for a relationship with Jack all those years ago when she'd first become aware of their mutual attraction. She doubted it, and Jack probably wouldn't have been either, or certainly not for the relationship they now had – the deep, abiding kind. Sam figured it would have been more about sex than love, and wouldn't have lasted.

Besides, he'd still been in love with his ex-wife, and probably loved her to this day, in his own way. That was Jack – loyalty was his middle name, unless you let him down, in which case he could be as unforgiving as they come. Sara had never let him down, never betrayed him. Jack believed it was him who had let her down, so he remained loyal to Sara's memory.

Sam loved that loyalty in Jack and might have felt more twinges of jealousy about Sara if she wasn't so confident of Jack's love and loyalty to her, She was certain of that despite the recent, painful Chicago incident. They belonged together. Of course, she did get the odd twinge about Sara, but what wife to be didn't feel that about their partner's ex? That surely had to be almost as natural as breathing.

On reflection, Sam was pleased they hadn't gone for it back then. Not that either of them had been prepared to breach the regs, or give up the work they both loved and needed to do, so it was a moot point.

Those changes had prepared them for each other, made both of them ready, and that made her very happy indeed. Maybe the changes wrought on Daniel meant he was ready too, for Francine if that was what he wanted. He sure deserved a life just as much as she and Jack did, preferably a happy one.

Now Sam thought about it, that last conversation with Jack had been pretty positive, much less man-flu moaning involved. Maybe he was over the worst. She hoped so. He might even be up to a little hot phone sex next time they spoke. That would be really nice. She missed his physical presence, but he knew ways to talk dirty that she had never dreamed about, and Sam had learned from his mastery. A phone sex session with him might not be as good as the real thing, but it was pretty damned great.

She could envisage it, because his words would make it seem so real. Sam could see him in her mind's eye, naked and hard and powerful, his long delicate, sensual fingers and hot, wet, rough tongue exploring and prodding, soft and smooth, hard and strong – whatever he wished them to be, whatever she desired. She could almost feel him making love to her, smell his sweat, see his ecstasy. Oh, man!

Picking up the phone, she stared at it with way too much longing than an inanimate object deserved. But Jack could make it come alive. All it needed was his voice, and the right mood. She sure was in the mood; all she required was the voice. Pressing the speed dial, the phone rang a few times, but then the doorbell chimed and shattered her fantasy. Cussing under her breath, she hung up. Who the hell…?

Reluctantly, she went to the door to answer, wanting to quickly get rid of whoever it was so she could call Jack. But, when she opened it, her surprise and delight made such thoughts disappear.

"Cassie! Oh my god, what are you doing here?" She grasped her adopted daughter and pulled her into a hug. "Are you okay? Is there a problem?"

Cassie grinned, kissing Sam on the cheek. "No problem. Can I come in?"

"Of course, sweetie. Why didn't you use your key? That's what it's for." She opened the door wider to let Cassie enter.

"I didn't want to use the key when you weren't expecting me," Cassie replied, wafting along the hallway into the living room and throwing herself on the couch, swiftly followed by Sam.

"No Chris?" Sam asked, concerned about the reasons for Cassie's unexpected visit.

"I left him in LA. I wanted to see you alone for a change."

Sam's eyes widened, her concern made more palpable. "Are you two okay? You haven't had an argument have you?"

"We're always having arguments, but then we make up," Cassie responded with a wistful grin. "No, we're fine, great even. Nothing's wrong, Sam. I just got a little homesick is all."

"Homesick?"

"Yeah. The Springs, you, Daniel, Teal'c. I don't suppose you're expecting Uncle Jack to visit are you?"

"No, honey. I'm sorry, you probably won't see him this time around." Cassie looked disappointed. She hadn't come to the Springs with that expectation but it would have been the icing on the cake. "Want a drink or something?"

"No, I'm fine. It's so good to see you." Cassie's tone was enthusiastic and Sam sat next to her, placing an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into a brief hug.

"You too, Cassie."

Sam was thinking the young woman must have an ulterior motive for this unannounced visit, but didn't question it further. It would all come tumbling out eventually, of that she had no doubt.

"How are you and Uncle Jack? How are the wedding plans?" Cassie's eagerness was infectious.

"Everything is going great. Have you been worried?"

Cassie hung her head sadly. "A little. After LA… how's he coping with his mom's death? I haven't heard much from him lately."

"He's been very busy, and he got a cold at the moment too. Cassie, Jack and I are fine, really we are," she said reassuringly. Clearly the young woman was in need of that assurance. "His mother's death, well, there have been some issues, but he's getting there. It hit him worse than he thought."

"He's okay?"

Sam smiled and nodded. "I think so. Perhaps you should have gone to visit him."

"And miss out on interfering with the arrangements for the wedding? You're kidding, right?"

"So that's why you're here," Sam responded, chuckling. "Should have guessed."

"We have to shop until we drop. That's what life's all about isn't it?" Cassie said with a laugh, much to Sam's amusement.

"I'm not sure what's left to buy."

"We'll think of something. You got the wedding dress. It's here?" Sam nodded. "Can I see it? What about your bachelorette party? I'm so excited. Only a few weeks and you'll be Mrs O'Neill. It's like a dream come true." Cassie sighed wistfully, her mouth forming into an inane smile.

"For me too, sweetheart," Sam agreed with a grin, amused by Cassie's exuberance.

"Oh, Sam, I'm so happy for you. Isn't Jack a dream? If it wasn't for Chris, and you of course…" She winked teasingly. "You have to tell me every detail of the wedding. I'm way too far away and I've been missing out. Can we see Daniel and Teal'c while I'm here? Can we have them over to dinner or something?" It seemed Cassie was on a roll, an indefatigable whirlwind. Sam felt dizzy and exhausted trying to keep up with her non-stop questions and demands.

"All in good time. You've only just walked through the door. How long are you staying? We have some time for all of that, don't we?" Cassie nodded a response. "Phew, I'm worn out already and we haven't done anything yet."

"Sorry. I'm just keyed up about the wedding. And sooo happy." She beamed brightly.

"I know, honey, me too."

This time it was Cassie who folded an arm around Sam and pulled her into a hug. "You've loved Jack for years, you deserve to be happy," she whispered in her ear.

Smiling at the hug, and squeezing Cassie's hand affectionately, Sam was curious about her comment. "Were my feelings always so transparent?"

"Not to him, apparently. He took long enough to do something about it." Cassie's tone was slightly disgruntled.

"He couldn't," Sam replied defensively. "Neither of us could."

"But even when he could, he didn't. I so wanted to kick his butt."

Sam laughed. "I feel the same way, frequently. Jack is the kind of man who needs a regular butt kicking."

Cassie grinned at the humorous remark. "You two so need to make up for all that lost time."

"We try our damnedest."

"Is it good, the sex?"

Sam pulled away from the hug, eyeing her young charge with horror, and surprise. "Cassie! I can't talk about that with you!"

"Why not? We're just two girls together, aren't we?" Cassie seemed unperturbed by the shocked reaction and Sam remembered the girl she once knew was now a young woman. "Oh Sam, don't be such an old prude," she admonished.

"A prude? I'm not a prude!" Sam exclaimed defensively, not liking to be considered that way. Jack had told her she was too uptight many times over the years. On the other hand, he'd fallen for her anyway, so what the hell did it matter?

"You so are. Jeez, is it that mother, daughter thing? I bet mom would have talked about it."

Sam shot her a wide-eyed look, turning thoughtful. "I'm not Janet, and could never hope to replace her. Wouldn't even want to try."

Cassie noticed her tensed body, and the way she started fidgeting with her hands, and looked down at her feet. For some reason she couldn't comprehend, the topic of Janet and motherhood seemed to make Sam nervous. "No, you can't replace her, but you've come pretty close for me. We always had something, didn't we?" she asked, wondering if Sam felt she'd been inadequate to a task she believed Janet had bequeathed to her.

"Yes, we always did," Sam responded affectionately, meeting Cassie's eyes and recalling that fateful trip to Hanka and the consequences. If her circumstances had been different, Sam knew the young girl might have ended up as her daughter, not Janet's. She had always envied Janet that relationship, had yearned for such a daughter.

"It's like having an older sister," Cassie suggested. "Wouldn't sisters talk about that kind of stuff?"

Sam kind of liked the sister analogy, which implied a different set of rules to mother/daughter. But, having believed herself a substitute mother to Cassie since Janet's death, she wasn't sure she could adjust.

"I always just considered myself a poor substitute for Janet," she said with a sigh.

"No, never that, Sam. Not poor, not at all poor." She was surprised to see Sam's eyes getting watery, as if she might cry. "Sam? Are you okay?"

Sam sniffed. "I'm getting emotional in my old age. I was just thinking how envious I was of Janet, getting to adopt you as her daughter."

Cassie was taken aback by that comment. "I-I… really? You envied mom?"

"You know I would have wanted it if things had been different. I always loved you, Cassie."

"Backatchya, sis," Cassie retorted with a huge smile. To her delight, Sam returned the smile. "You don't have to be my mom. I'm old enough to look after myself now."

"Your never too old to want a mom. Sometimes I still miss mine."

"Okay, but the older sister role suits you very well. I've had two moms but I don't have a sister."

Sam smoothed her hand through Cassie's hair. "We can try for sisters if you like. See how it goes. I never had a sister either. Believe me, a brother so isn't the same thing." She rolled her eyes at thoughts of Mark, recalling the last visit and her brother's reaction to Jack. At least her charismatic fiance had won him around.

Noticing the mischievous grin that appeared on Cassie's lips, Sam cocked an eyebrow, querying what her new sister was thinking.

"So, Jack? Sex?" Cassie arched her eyebrows and, not for the first time, Sam realised how much of Jack young Cassie had picked up and taken as her own: mannerisms, verbal expressions and humor. She genuinely loved Jack, and Sam knew he loved her right on back - the daughter he never had.

"You still want an answer?" Sam said with feigned shock. One of these days Cassie's curiosity would get the better of her, but Sam settled herself into the notion of being sisterly. What had seemed so wrong moments before seemed okay now.

"What do you think?" Cassie replied, sounding like Jack. Sam grinned inanely.

"Okay. One word. Hot!"

"I thought so. I would have bet my future life's earnings… He's kind of cute, isn't he, for an old guy?"

"Very cute, and not so old. Old to a mere whippersnapper like you, maybe, but to us more mature women…" She tailed off, exchanging a look with Cassie that made them both laugh. "Don't you dare ever tell Jack you think he's old."

"Hey, if you jilt him, I'm stepping in," Cassie joked, "so I can't think he's too ancient and decrepit."

"I don't think Chris would like that much. How is Chris?"

Cassie smiled in a dreamy manner. "He's so great. Don't you think so? I was so pleased you had the chance to meet him and get to know him over a few days. You do like him, don't you?" She looked up into Sam's eyes as if the thought Sam might not like him had only just occurred to her.

"I told you so in LA. And the normally cynical and mistrustful Jack thinks he's one of the good guys, so who am I to argue?"

"What if Jack didn't like him?" Cassie asked inquisitively.

Sam seemed to ponder the question. "I'd be more wary."

"You think so highly of Jack's opinion?"

"Of course!" she exclaimed emphatically. Cassie looked puzzled, and Sam wondered Cassie thought she merely shared Jack's view without considering her own. "I don't agree with him for agreeing with him's sake, Cassie, it's just that… I've learned to trust him, and his judgement. But it's irrelevant. I like Chris, okay."

"I just wondered…" For the first time she looked slightly awkward with the direction of their conversation. Sam peered at her enquiringly and Cassie continued, but looked the mirror image of how Sam had looked a little earlier wringing her hands and staring at the floor. "I always wanted you guys to fit, but I hope he doesn't dominate you, Sam."

Sam's eyebrows shot up with surprise. "Dominate me? Did he give you that impression in LA?"

"Not really, I just… he was your CO for a long time. You're used to obeying his orders. I don't want you to go repeating your mistakes." Sam knew she was thinking about Pete and control freakery, but Cassie never had understood that relationship or that it hadn't been quite what she'd imagined. "I guess I need to know I was right to wish for you two to be together. You know… before you get married. I love Uncle Jack and all but…"

Sam interrupted her flow by grasping her chin and forcing Cassie to look at her. "We fit way better than I ever dreamed, and you were right to hope we'd get it together. We've gotten over the CO thing. Jack doesn't try to be controlling." Her tone turned more flippant. "So if you think you're gonna put me off just so you can marry him, think again young lady."

Cassie went with the more frivolous flow and pouted. "Aw, shucks!" They both giggled. "You got any beer?" The question was so out of the blue, and un-Cassie like, that it caught Sam off-guard. Cassie didn't drink much alcohol, and not normally beer.

"You want beer?" she queried, wondering if the younger woman was channelling Jack. "There's always beer in the fridge for Jack. Help yourself."

"Okay, I'm getting a beer, I'm going to unpack, and then you are going to show me that wedding dress," Cassie said decisively as she rose from the couch.

Sam grinned. "Yes ma'am," she responded, offering a mock salute. "The bed's already made up."

Cassie turned to eye her with astonishment. "It is? But you didn't know I was coming."

"It's always made up, just in case."

"In case of what?"

"In case you need to come home."

The deeply touched Cassie smiled softly, her eyes tearing up a little, and returned to the couch, hugging Sam and giving her a peck on the cheek. "That's so sweet," she declared with genuine feeling. "And kinda cool." She liked the idea that Sam thought she was home when there. "Give me ten minutes, okay, then come take me to that dress."

"Right," Sam agreed with a head nod, and Cassie was gone, leaving her to her own devices.

She tried to suppress the thoughts suddenly popping back into her head in the quietude – thoughts of Jack and phone sex, of hearing his voice whispering graphically in her ear and making her tremble with desire and convulse with ecstasy. Shit, she was feeling horny. Sam loved that Cassie was there, but was beginning to wish she'd arrived after that phone call she'd been going to make. Maybe later, when Cassie wasn't around…

"I thought we'd agreed ten minutes," Cassie whined, poking her head around the door.

"What?" Sam said, shocked out of her reverie. "It's been ten minutes already?" She realised Jack could happily occupy her mind for a long time and she wouldn't notice it passing. "Sorry. I was thinking about Jack. I miss him. I want to marry him, be with him. We live so far away from each other."

"Aw, Sam. What are you going to do once you're married?" Cassie asked, entering the room and approaching. She held the bottle of beer in one hand and raised it to her lips while awaiting a response. This was yet another gesture that reminded Sam of her fiance.

"Same as we do now. See each other as much as possible."

"You should be together."

"I'd love that, of course I would, but we both have our work. It's just the way of things. It won't always be like that. Besides, we might live apart, but we aren't apart. He's always in here." She indicated her head and heart and Cassie smiled and nodded.

"Cute. Sappy, but I can live with some sap. Okay, so let's channel all those thoughts into something positive. The wedding dress… wedding plans… yadda, yadda, yadda…"

Rolling her eyes, Sam chuckled to hear her use that O'Neillism and Cassie grasped her hand, pulling her up from the couch. "Do you want to see it on?" she asked, digging her heels in and forcing Cassie to stop dragging her out of the room.

"Oh yes please!" she replied excitedly.

"Then sit," Sam commanded. "I'll go put it on and give you the fashion show." Cassie grinned and did what she was told.

A while later she was twiddling her thumbs impatiently when Sam's disembodied voice spoke from just outside the living room door. "Of course I'll be having my hair done, and the make up… all that. You have to imagine that part."

'Duh!' Cassie thought sarcastically. "For crying out loud, Sam, just get in here and let me take a look!"

"Jeez, you've picked up all Jack's bad habits."

"Get your ass in here!"

"See what I mean," Sam said, chuckling, and appearing from her hiding place with a huge grin on her face.

"Oh my god, Sam, that's fantastic!" Cassie cried out when she saw her in the dress. "Give me a twirl. You look gorgeous."

It wasn't like any wedding gown Cassie had ever seen or imagined. When she pictured wedding dresses she saw billowy and lacy and… icky. This was so much the opposite she was stunned by the vision. It was so plain and simple, but beautiful at the same time, and it showed off Sam's slender, long frame to perfection.

The dress was made from off-white satin and held on her shoulders by two narrow straps; so narrow that, at first glance, it almost looked strapless. The bodice encircled her breasts with a panel of small, tasteful, embroidered flowers and glittering sequins, all the same colour as the dress. Pure plain satin curved into her waist, hugging her hips and upper thighs and gradually starting to flare out. A wide border at the hem matched the detail on the bodice.

It looked more like movie star style evening wear than a wedding dress and Cassie thought it wouldn't look out of place on the red carpet at an Academy Award ceremony. Or it might have fit that role if not for the long train that flowed out from the back, which matched the bodice and hem of the dress.

On her head sat what appeared to be a narrow circlet of silver, and a veil swept over her face.

"There's a zipper at the back, but it looks like it's done up with small buttons, I can't do those myself," Sam said, twirling around.

Cassie got up and walked over. "Allow me," she said, and started to do the small satin covered buttons up, which hooked into loops made from the same cloth as the dress. They were tricky to handle, but Cassie finished and stepped back.

"Lovely!" she exclaimed. "That band on your head, I thought it was plain, but it isn't. What's that?" She couldn't make out what the pattern carved into the metal was.

"If I told you I'd have to shoot you," Sam replied mysteriously.

"What?"

"It's an alien language, Cassie. It says 'O'Neill' and 'Carter', or as close as we could get, and the words 'never alone' a couple of times. It kind of matches the necklace Jack gave me," she replied, indicating the pendant she wore around her neck. Having planned similar surprises for each other, if either Jack or Sam had known what both Daniel Jackson and Siler knew they would have laughed their asses off.

"O'Neill and Carter, not Jack and Sam? Oh boy! Old habits die hard, huh?" Cassie rolled her eyes and Sam suppressed a giggle at the reaction. Cassie was right in some ways, but to Sam using the surnames had somehow seemed the right thing to do. She thought Jack would get it, and wasn't really bothered if no one else did. "Exactly how are you going to explain all that alien stuff to curious wedding guests?"

"I'll just say it's a private Jack and Sam thing, and that wouldn't be lying." She smiled brilliantly.

Cassie stepped away, asking Sam to twirl again, which she did, walking up and down a little to show off the dress from all angles. It shimmered and glistened in the light, the shape perfectly capturing each sway of her hips, and every movement she made. "You think Jack will like it?" she asked in an eager, girlish tone.

"Are you kidding? He'll love it. You'll be lucky he if he doesn't fall into a dead faint when he sees you in that. Even better, he is so going to love taking it off you…"

"Cassandra Fraser!" Sam declared with mock outrage. "I think I'm going to enjoy that part too. I'll probably be so nervous and excited heaven knows if I'll even remember the rest of the day, but that is one thing I surely will remember. Jeez, it's only a few weeks away."

Cassie approached and grasped her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm excited, so you must be getting delirious by now," she said with a small smile. "What are you going to do with your hair?"

"I'm having extensions put in."

Cassie's eyes widened with surprise. "You're going to have it long?"

"My hairdresser used a wig to persuade me. I've had it short for so long I'd forgotten what it looked like; so different, more feminine. I'm wearing it up for the wedding, of course, but later…" She smiled dreamily and Cassandra imagined Jack's wonder and delight while he let loose her long hair in the privacy of their own room. "Jack will be so surprised. I hope he likes it. If not, I'm screwed."

"I bet it'll look great, and he'll love it. You could wear sack cloth and ashes and he'd still be nuts about you."

"Ya think?" Sam said with a grin, echoing her lover's turn of phrase.

"Absolutely."

She sighed wistfully. "I guess I'd better get this stuff off before it gets ruined. Come help?"

They tottered off to the bedroom together, joshing with each other and giggling like schoolgirls.

"While you're here we can go check out your dress, get a final fitting done and see if it needs to be altered," Sam said as Cassie carefully undid all the buttons again.

"I love to do that." Cassie was excited by the prospect.

She hadn't seen the dress, as such, although Sam had sent her a picture and it was the kind of dress that could double as an evening gown. Cassie was pleased Sam had taken this simple, tasteful approach and she didn't have to wear some awful fluffy creation.

"By the way," Sam said, suddenly changing the subject, "how did you know I was going to be in Colorado when you arrived for this surprise visit?"

"Um, I, um, checked your schedule, spoke to Daniel."

"He knew you were coming and never told me?" Sam asked with astonishment.

"I made him promise. Don't be mad at him."

"You think I'm mad?"

"He told me not to tell."

"He thinks I'll be mad?"

"I guess… don't tell him I told."

"Cassie, I'm not mad. I can't imagine why Daniel thinks I would be. That man is so devious sometimes, it can be surprising. Jack I expect to be devious. Daniel, well…" She shrugged. "He used to be so guileless. I suppose I should probably stop being surprised by how much he's changed."

"Good change or bad change?"

Sam stepped out of the dress and hung it up, removing her headdress and smoothing her hair. "Good, mainly. We've all changed, we had to."

"All that saving the planet and universe stuff?"

"Yeahsureyabetchya," Sam responded with a grin, putting her jeans and blouse back on. "Come on, talking of Daniel reminds me I need coffee," she urged, leading Cassie into the kitchen. "Want some?"

"Yes please."

They stayed silent while Sam sorted the coffee. Cassie lolled against the kitchen counter appearing to be deep in thought until, abruptly, she spoke animatedly. "I'm just thinking… are you two going to have babies? Mini Jack O'Neills. Wouldn't that be fantastic?"

"Mini Jacks? Oy!" Sam joked, mimicking her fiance. "Can you imagine the handful?"

"Bet you'd love a mini Jack, or Jackette."

"Jackette?" Sam laughed gleefully. When she stopped, her lips retained a smile and there was a slightly wistful look in her eyes. "Sure I'd love a mini Jack, or a Jackette, but there's a lot to consider. It's a bit of a scary prospect, the idea of becoming a mom at my age. I haven't got a clue how to be a mom. And then who knows if I can conceive? I'm way past my childbearing prime, and who knows what impact all that alien crap might have had. Then there's my career… I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Perturbed that Sam doubted her ability to bear or raise children, Cassie drew closer to kiss her softly on the hair. "You'd make a terrific mom, Sam. You and Jack would be great parents. Don't leave it too late to try."

Smirking as the thought occurred, Sam answered teasingly. "Oh, I'm pretty sure I won't get sick of trying." She winked at the younger woman.

"You say he's hot, right?" Cassie retorted with a giggle, nudging Sam's arm knowingly.

"The hottest."

"Then screw having kids. They'll suck all the fun out of it."

"You know, I never thought about that." Sam grinned, once again reminded of Jack, and they both laughed, enjoying the girly banter.

Cassie's exuberance reminded her of Betsy. When they'd met up in DC, they'd both reverted to being very like the young teens they'd been together so many years before. Once Betsy started giggling, she'd set Sam off, and they kept on sparking against each other all night. The memory made Sam smile. Betsy was as close to a sister as Sam had ever come - until now.

She pondered Cassie's excitement about shopping until they dropped. Yessiree, the next couple of days playing sisters with Cassie were going to be a lot fun.


	34. Never Alone: Truly, Madly, Deeply

Title: Never Alone 34: Truly, Madly, Deeply

Content Level: Age 13+. An Adult Only version is available on my Fic with Fins website, address in my FF net profile

Content Warnings: Use of relatively mild language and sexual situations

Summary: "The thought had been going through Jack's mind for a while now, ever since he'd read his mother's letter, and he knew he had to act on it or he'd never be at peace." An excursion leads to some unexpected surprises for Jack and Sam.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

Author's Note: Many thanks to Lynette (Flatkatsi) who cast her ever critical and helpful eyes over this story. As always, any mistakes remain my own.

**Never Alone 3****4: Truly, Madly, Deeply**

He was somewhat dumbfounded by his overpowering urge. The thought had been going through Jack's mind for a while now, ever since he'd read his mother's letter, and he knew he had to act on it or he'd never be at peace. Picking up the phone, he pressed the speed dial, hoping she was available to take the call. He had to talk to Sam. It was important. To his relief she answered on the second ring.

"Jack! I wasn't expecting you to call."

He could almost feel her smile and his heart quickened. "Hi honey. I just… I just needed to hear your voice." Then there was silence from his end of the line.

"My voice? I can waffle on about nothing for ages if you like. Fancy a lecture on wormhole physics?" she joked, sensing there was more to this call than he had said but making light of his evidently urgent desire to speak with her.

"Sam, when's your next free weekend, or couple of days?" he blurted out.

Ah! So she was right he was after something specific after all. "Um, mid week next week we'll probably be getting a couple of days downtime, but you know what things can get like sometimes. Got something in mind?" She found herself smiling in anticipation of his plans.

"Can you firm something up with Hank?"

"Probably. What is it, Jack?"

He detected her concern and realized how quickly she could catch his mood, no matter that he tried to keep his voice even. His response, however, and his heartfelt tone, surprised her.

"I, um, I… this might sound kinda crazy but I need to go back to Chicago, to my mother's grave. I want…" he tailed off uncertainly.

"You need to say goodbye properly?" she asked when he failed to continue, guessing at his motives. Obviously, since opening the box, Jack has been doing a lot of thinking. The funeral hadn't been enough. It hadn't served its purpose of helping him start to come to terms with his loss. The contents of his mother's box of effects were the trigger that had started that process, and in a way that could surely only be positive for Jack.

"I guess that's it. I'd like you to come. Will you come? I know a lot of your spare time is taken up with the wedding and everything but…"

"Jack," she interrupted," of course I'll come. Wedding plans can wait. You think I don't realize how important this is to you? It's not crazy. Not even close."

"I knew you'd understand. I… thanks."

"Thanks? I want to be there. I need to be there."

He said nothing for long moments and all she could hear was the rise and fall of his breath. "I… I really need you to be there," he said eventually.

Initially, Sam wasn't sure why his confession of need made her feel happy when Jack was obviously sad. She'd been so pissed with him for leaving her behind last time, but this time he wasn't leaving her behind – this time he was sharing. He wanted her support at a time when he was most in need. She sensed this visit would be way more important for Jack than his mother's funeral. Therefore, it was more important to her too. She was happy because he wanted her to go with him and share his grief.

"Always, Jack. You never need to feel alone again, you know that."

He sighed in response and the sound in her ear was like a whisper of warming wind.

"You're the best," he replied.

"Of course I am. Only the best would be good enough for you, General O'Neill," she agreed jovially, and it was Sam's turn to feel his smile.

"How's it going?" he asked, swiftly moving on.

"It? Do you mean wedding plans, the SGC, or what?"

"Whatever you care to share."

"Have you got a spare hour or two?" she kidded.

"As much time as you need, Dorothy. I'll even take the wormhole physics lecture."

She chuckled, starting to talk, and Jack listened, interjecting where appropriate – and, in the end, it turned out to be one heck of a long call.

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They met up in Chicago. Jack booked them into a swanky hotel and the luxurious suite made Sam's eyes boggle when she walked in. A huge bouquet of flowers and box of chocolates awaited her arrival. At first, she thought these formed part of the luxury package, until she read the card and realized they had both been delivered courtesy of Jack. Then she comprehended that this trip, at least in part, was intended to help make up for him shutting her out last time. Sam had to admit it was working.

He wasn't due to join her for a couple of hours or more, so she made use of the hotel leisure center, relaxing with a sauna and massage, and by the time he'd arrived she looked perfect, having chosen her clothing carefully.

She was gratified by the open mouthed expression he greeted her with. His eyes wandered up and down her, admiring the way her black dress clung to her body and enhanced her curves. They kissed and cuddled for a while before he disappeared to take a quick shower and get dressed, and it was her turn to be equally stunned by how handsome, young and trim he looked in his charcoal suit and tie.

Then he suggested they go eat lunch before taking a cab to the cemetery. When they arrived at the small, Italian restaurant, she comprehended Jack had planned this all along because he'd booked ahead. They'd eaten in this place on their previous visit and the food was of the simple, like mama used to make variety, and all the more excellent for that. The place was busy with the lunch crowd but their quiet, tucked away table still seemed intimate.

Jack appeared carefree, but Sam knew he wasn't. As the time for them to leave drew closer, she could see he was becoming increasingly nervous about the planned visit to his mother's graveside. His uneasy fidgeting was ample demonstration. She almost suggested they put it off until the next morning, but understood that the sooner he said goodbye the better for him it would probably be.

She'd come on this trip with few expectations for their couple of days away, knowing it could upset him. Her primary concern was being there to support him in whatever way he needed, and the treats he'd lined up so far had been a total, and pleasant, surprise.

Now, Jack was kneeling on his coat in front of his mother's grave, and placing some flowers with tender care. He remained in silent thought for a long time, and Sam stood by his side and waited patiently for him to be ready to do whatever it was he needed to do.

Eventually he spoke, saying little, but from his heart. "Goodbye mom. I love you. I guess I always did. I wish I'd given us the chance to tell each other that, but I'm here now."

Sam's heart broke for him and twisted even more when she realized he was quietly sobbing. Jack sobbing? And in public? The implication of such an exceptional event stunned her, and she recalled last time they had visited Chicago, and his mother. His demon had stalked him then, and he had cried because he'd hurt her while possessed by it.

Pondering that, and everything they had been through since, Sam realized it was thoughts and feelings about his mother, and his sorrowful and painful childhood, that triggered those tears then, just as they did now. His parents had a lot to answer for.

She knew this very public display of his emotions would probably mortify Jack, and steeled to help him fight that demon again, to hold onto him tightly and ride through whatever came. Better or worse - a vow she hadn't yet made in the eyes of the law or God, but had made in her heart long ago, and fully intended to abide by.

At least the tears meant he was mourning his mother's death properly at last, and probably mourning all the lost moments they should have shared in life too. This fact encouraged her, and Sam hoped his grief would bring Jack one step closer to the closure he needed. He could never entirely escape that past, no one could do that, but he could move on from it, live his life and be happy. Sam so wanted to help him achieve that.

Kneeling on the coat beside him, she gently eased him closer and he buried his head in her breast and cried.

"Oh, Sam!" he exclaimed disconsolately.

"It's all right, Jack, I'm here. I'll always be here."

She rocked him gently while he wept, smoothing a hand through his hair and stroking his back comfortingly while tears pricked in her eyes. They stayed in that position for what seemed like an age, until she felt his shuddering sobs die down and then cease. He raised his head to look at her, his eyes reddened and sore, and she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a tissue, wiping away the moisture.

After a pause during which he seemed to be attempting to collect himself, Jack took it and blew his nose, smiling faintly after he'd done. Then he kissed her cheek and squeezed the back of her neck gently in gratitude and affection.

Sam thought she had probably never been quite so deeply moved by anything in her life, except her own acutely felt losses, and that other occasion with Jack in Chicago. This was Jack opening up to her in a way she had never dreamed would happen and it touched her heart with almost overwhelming intensity.

For Sam, these moments more than made up for the fact he'd left her behind on his last visit to Chicago, and for what he had done while here. It became one of the most memorable events of the life she would share with him, and demonstrated his feelings for her more completely than any words he could ever utter. She couldn't envisage Jack allowing himself to fall apart like that in the company of anyone else, and she was right.

"I think I have to get up now. The old knees, you know," he said with in a typically O'Neill deflecting, jocular type tone.

She helped him up and he shook and stretched his legs, loosening up his slightly creaking joints, and pondered getting old. This was so not a subject he wanted to contemplate now. Soon, he would be marrying a bright, fit, younger woman and, for their sake, he refused to grow old!

He took Sam's hand and looked deep into her eyes, smoothing a thumb over her cheek. "Am I a fool?" he asked.

"For what? For crying at your mother's graveside? For loving your mom, despite everything that happened? No, not a fool."

"I denied it for too long. Couldn't, wouldn't talk to her."

"You did what you thought you had to do to keep sane."

He regarded her with wide-eyed astonishment at that statement, and then smiled lopsidedly. "Am I marrying the best brain on this planet, or what?"

She giggled as he enfolded her in his arms and held her close again. Then he whispered in her ear. "I think I'm ready to go now." She simply nodded, and he turned to face his mother's grave once more. "Goodbye, mom, we'll be back some day." With those words spoken, Jack reached over to take hold of Sam's hand and they started to walk back to the nearest exit.

About half way there, Sam felt him stiffen slightly, and he stopped in his tracks, gripping her hand harder and turning to face her. 'Aw, crap!' he thought, giving her an apologetic look. Naturally, Sam seemed perplexed. "Shit, I'm so sorry Sam," he said quietly, lifting her hand to his lips.

Then he turned to face the path again and watched the woman he'd spotted walking toward them approach. Immediately Sam saw her, she realized who it was – Jack's old ex, Jean – and understood why Jack was so apologetic and ill at ease. Her heart lurched dramatically.

The woman who approached was handsome, with a shapely figure, and Sam would never have believed she was the same age as her fiance. A pang of jealousy overcame her briefly, but she suppressed it. Jack loved her, not Jean. He would love her and be right by her side, always. She was certain of that.

"Hiya Jack," the woman said as she drew closer, obviously surprised to see him there.

Jack glanced at Sam apologetically again and drew a deep breath, comprehending from the quickly suppressed expression of horror on her face, and the tautness of her stance, that she had guessed who this woman was. He certainly couldn't blame Sam for tensing up and being wary.

"What are you doing here, Jean?"

"Is this Sam?" Jean queried, ignoring the question.

"Yes. Sam, this is Jean."

"I figured." Sam grasped his hand so both of hers held his one, as if to demonstrate he was her man and ward off predators.

"You told her what happened." Jean's words were a statement rather than a question. "I'm sorry," she said, looking at Sam. "It was all my fault. He said you were very beautiful and he was right."

Sam said nothing. Jack squeezed her hands reassuringly with his free one and she pulled her eyes away from Jean and looked up into his. "I'm so sorry," he repeated.

Unsurprisingly, all three looked distinctly uncomfortable about this unforeseen circumstance.

"I came to put some flowers on your mother's grave," Jean started to explain. "I thought I should drop by sometimes to check on it because you live so far away."

"That's very kind of you," Sam said tonelessly before Jack could speak.

"You don't have to do that," he added.

"I know," responded Jean, "but I wanted to, for old times. Strange you should be here."

Silence fell and the three felt increasingly awkward. Jack feared the consequences of this encounter, the pain it must be provoking in Sam, and the thoughts that might be racing through her head. Sam was still too stunned by the chance meeting to know what she thought or felt. Jean was simply embarrassed.

"I, um, think I should go and leave you to it," she said, and then eyeing Sam, added. "You're a lucky woman. Jack's a keeper and he's so crazy in love with you. What happened… it was nothing, I promise. I'm sorry if it caused you both pain." Startled by the comment, Sam said nothing as the woman turned to walk away, but Jack squeezed her hand tightly and she gave him a reassuring squeeze back.

"You didn't leave the flowers," Jack reminded Jean.

"I'm guessing you already brought some. I'll take these home and bring some fresh ones another time."

"Thank you, Jean," he ventured.

"You're welcome, Jack. Goodbye." She turned her head, her face bearing a regretful expression, and walked away. They watched her go in silence and then Jack buried his face in one hand and muttered "shit" under his breath a few times.

"It's not your fault she happened to turn up while we're here," Sam said before he could apologize again.

"No, but…" he sighed mournfully, "are you okay?" A hand reached up to stroke her hair and cheek

She nodded. "My god, after all these years she still carries a torch for you."

"No, that's… you really think so?" Jack queried incredulously.

"It's pretty obvious."

"Oh. I guess I never really thought…" He didn't finish the sentence, appearing pensive.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked.

"Sure. I just can't believe the bad luck of her coming here now." He was obviously perturbed.

"I mean about your mother, not that woman." She spat the words 'that woman' in a way that clearly expressed her feelings on the subject and Jack cursed silently to himself. He'd hoped they had moved past that, but maybe they hadn't after all. Still too raw, still too soon.

"Oh! Yeah, I'll be fine," he replied in answer to her question, his hand continuing to smooth over her hair. But his expression belied his words. Sam wasn't sure whether it was his mother or bumping into Jean that made him appear haunted and confused. "I'm so sorry," he repeated yet again.

"Stop saying that and hold me." Her own confusion centered around the unexpected appearance his old flame, but she attempted to quash it, needing the strength of his arms to sooth her troubled thoughts.

Their hands unclasped and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, and her head nuzzled up to his neck. "What do you want to do now?" she asked, leading them away from a discussion about either his mom or Jean. All of that could wait. For now, his hug was enough.

"I don't know."

"You haven't planned anything?" she asked with a lightly teasing tone.

"This was as far as I got on the planning front," he admitted. "Is there something you want to do?"

"Yes, go back to the hotel. I want you to make love to me."

Recalling the hungry cravings she'd experienced the day of Cassie's unexpected arrival, she realized they never had got around to the phone sex she'd so wanted in those moments. Now Sam was more than ready for the real thing. She'd missed him so very much. More than that, she needed him to demonstrate his love in that very physical way he could, just as she needed to demonstrate hers for him.

"You-you do?" He squeezed her gently, a small smile on his lips.

"That bed looks really comfortable," she said in a jocular tone and he chuckled.

"I guess we'd better go try it out then." When he pulled back, Jack was grinning. He took her hand in his again and they continued toward the exit.

They managed to get a cab quite quickly. The prevailing silence of the ride back to the hotel wasn't an awkward one, as it so easily might have been, given the peculiarly coincidental and embarrassing encounter with Jean. Neither of them wanted to dwell on that, although obviously it entered their thoughts.

But Sam's mind was preoccupied with Jack and what she had witnessed at the cemetery, awed by the naked emotion he had displayed. She wondered what thoughts had been running through his head in those moments, of his mother, his childhood, his missed opportunities to reconcile and resolve.

His mother's death had obviously disturbed him even more than she had thought. Sam was pretty sure Jack would never have expected to shatter so openly or seemingly easily, even in front of her, despite his apparent willingness to expose himself to her in ways neither of them had previously imagined possible. She knew he might regret that clear demonstration of something he would probably consider as weakness.

His past might still haunt Jack, but she prayed recent events would soothe his grief for that past, and his mother's loss, helping him come to terms with it at last. If so, she couldn't have hoped for a better early wedding present. Her husband to be carried so much pain, loss and regret - too many nightmares. Learning to live with them, and live despite them, was a trick he had managed to pull off quite well. The more he was able to do that, the better it would be for them and their lives together.

Jack needed to accept her love, know it and feel it in his soul. He needed to understand his frailties did not make him less of a man in her eyes, or diminish her love and respect for him. They made it grow stronger and deepen; demonstrated his humanity and a softer core than the tough outer shell. She could teach him that, Sam knew she could. In fact, she believed he might already have learned that lesson. Their relationship would prevail.

Meanwhile, Jack pondered his mother, his unanticipated reaction at her graveside and how Sam might have felt about that extraordinary demonstration of vulnerability.

It wasn't the first time he'd broken in front of Sam, but it still surprised and shook him. Ruefully, he recalled that had been because of his mother too. Jack wasn't used to overt displays of that kind of emotion and it troubled his heart. Sometimes your parents ask an exacting price for bearing and raising you.

On the one hand, he'd rather have been alone so Sam didn't see him in one of his weakest moments. Jack had been the strong leader, because that's what he was and what he had to be. Now, frankly, he felt more exposed than he was comfortable with.

On the other hand, he was grateful she'd been there to wrap her arms around him and give him succor. He'd needed comfort - it felt good to be loved and reassured. But the depth of his need scared him. So, he had mixed feelings.

Then again, this was Sam, for crying out loud. He loved and trusted her. If he couldn't cry on her shoulder, then whose? However, crying on shoulders wasn't really Jack's thing, or not as a normal rule. Maybe he had to recognize that normality was shifting. When he considered further, Jack realized it had been shifting since he'd started dating Sam. His whole life had been turned inside out and upside down, and that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, right? Right!

Had she ever expected any of this when they'd started out? He doubted that. What if she had fallen in love with a different O'Neill to the one she was ending up with? The notion made him shudder, but only momentarily. Sam loved him despite his flaws and weaknesses and maybe in part because of them. Jack figured sometimes women could be perverse like that. Sara had been. She'd liked being needed, and if he'd allowed himself to open up when Charlie had died, they might still be together now. He'd never know for sure.

While knowing he had learned a lot from that mistake, and should probably continue to learn from it, Jack still considered breaking down and weeping might be going too far. Not that he could have stopped himself, which came as an immense surprise to a man who was used to exercising self-control and restraint. Who knew an old dog like him could learn new tricks? Living and learning, that's what life was all about. And then you die - what a bitch!

As long as Sam accepted and wanted him, warts and all, Jack knew he could be a happier man, and a better one. This woman he'd fallen for so many years before really was quite something. He couldn't have been luckier, or made more complete. They would get married and live the rest of their days side by side, with an abiding love and friendship. They both wanted that, and they'd both get it if Jack O'Neill had any say in the matter, which he did.

Smiling softly, he leaned over to kiss her cheek, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. And she responded by grasping his hand and squeezing gently. They said nothing, they just were. It was way more than enough.

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They did more talking while making love than they did on their way back to the hotel. Sam paused by the door of their suite as he closed it behind them and gazed at him enticingly. She had asked him to make love to her, so Jack knew she was expecting him to make the moves. He let the coat he held over his arm drop to the floor carelessly and clasped his fingers lightly around her neck, bending to kiss her, his other arm enveloping her waist.

As he withdrew his lips from hers, the hand ran softly over her neck and down her arm, waist and hips, hitching her dress up when he reached her thighs, and wandering under it. He smoothed the hand over her upper thigh and that bare flesh he loved so much between her stocking top and panties. Like many men, Jack found stockings a turn on, relishing the feel of that soft, exposed skin and the window of opportunity the provocative patch of nakedness provided.

Normally, he might take time to run his fingers under her stocking tops, exploring that nakedness with deliberate slowness, before roaming up to her panties to probe beneath. This time, however, he was brief, easing his thumb under those panties quickly and lightly caressing her without pause.

Sam gasped, a slight gurgle in her throat, and she looked up into his face. He was watching her, continuing to rub while his other hand meandered from her waist to her ass and squeezed.

"Jack?" she queried, taken aback.

He didn't respond with words but his caresses grew harder and more insistent. Sam had a surprised look in her eye, realizing he intended to bring her satisfaction without moving from this spot just inside the doorway. Clearly, he planned to try out the bed later.

It didn't take long for the surprise to turn to exhilaration and pleasure. She grabbed the back of his neck with one hand and pressed the other to his spine, following his lead. He grasped her ass tighter and she squeaked with pleasure as the strokes of his hand intensified. Sam could see from the glint in his eye, that the prospect of satisfying her in this way and watching her reactions was exciting Jack. Watching, listening and feeling her pleasure turned him on in a big way.

When she screeched that pleasure, he sighed happily and stilled his caresses, holding her close.

"That was nice," she said.

"Nice?"

"Very, very nice."

He said nothing and Sam waited for his next move, which was to stretch behind her and unzip her dress. His hands reached up to the tops of her arms and he pushed the dress straps with his thumbs, easing them off her shoulders and letting the dress fall to the floor alongside his coat.

Fingers wandering over the bare flesh of her midriff, and then up to her breasts, he groped around her back, undoing her bra and letting that fall to the floor as well. A hand cupped one of her breasts and he sighed in a satisfied kind of way.

"Now it's time to test that bed" he said with a grin, urging her toward it and pausing as they drew near.

"Isn't it time you got naked, Mr. Scarecrow?" she asked with a teasing smile.

"Not until I get those panties off, Dorothy," he mumbled, crouching in front of her and reaching up to grasp their elastic waistband. Slowly, he eased the lingerie off, down her thighs and legs, and his fingers soothed enticingly over her skin as he did so. Then he turned to dealing with the stockings in a similarly beguiling way and, when the underwear finally lay at her feet, Jack leaned in to kiss her, running his tongue over her stomach, and dipping it between her legs.

"Holy Hannah!" she exclaimed, as he licked. Then he stood again and regarded her nakedness with a cheeky smile before grasping her face and drawing her lips toward his for a passionate kiss.

As their tongues clashed, Sam could smell her scent, its heady musk intoxicating; probably even more so for Jack. His reaction was certainly pleasing. Embracing him, she ran her hands over the fabric of his jacket, and then reached around to his lapels, attempting to pull it off. She tried to ease it over his shoulders a little, but his arms were lifted to grip her face, so she could not get far. In frustration, she moved her hands to his waist, starting to undo his pants.

Jack stopped the kiss and smirked. "Trying to do something, honey?"

"Get those clothes off, Jack," she growled.

He waggled his eyebrows and, taking hold of her arms, sat her down on the bed. "All right, already!"

"Don't you want me to take them off for you?" she asked, reaching for his fly, undoing it, pulling his pants and boxers down in one swift movement and starting a sexual tease with her tongue and mouth.

"I thought I was meant to be making love to you," he said hoarsely and she smiled and nodded. "Lie down," he commanded and she obeyed.

Swiftly, he bent to remove his shoes and socks as well as the pants and boxers that pooled around his ankles. He still wore the jacket, shirt and tie, so removed the jacket and threw it onto the nearest chair. Sitting beside the prone Sam, he captured her eyes and she sat up, reaching for his tie and undoing it for him.

"You look so hot in that suit. Did I tell you that?" she asked.

"You didn't have to. The expression on your face when you saw me said it all."

"Was my tongue hanging out?" she kidded, and Jack chuckled.

"More or less," he agreed. Sam sure knew how to make him feel good about himself. Worked every time. This was one of the very long list of things that made him love her so much.

She was undoing his shirt buttons but he grabbed her hands to stop her, lifting the shirt over his head. Now he was as naked as she was, she smiled sweetly and lay back on the bed again to let him do as he wished with her.

Seconds later, he was kneeling beside her, hands tenderly exploring her flesh, eyes roaming her body and greedily drinking in the sight of her nakedness.

"You're so stunning," he whispered throatily.

She smiled, as enthralled by his sensual touch as ever. He seemed to know precisely where to caress, lick and suck, how much pressure to exert, what to whisper in her ear. It was uncanny, and wonderfully titillating.

'There, oh yes, there,' she thought as his fingers worked their magic. His knee thrust into her crotch as he pushed up from her and propped himself above her, grinding the knee into her. She grunted.

"Quick or slow, Dorothy?"

"You choose."

"Nice!" he exclaimed, grinning delightedly.

As he continued to crush his knee against her, Sam found herself surprisingly turned on by its pounding, and gasped with frustration as Jack abruptly pulled away and lowered himself down to her side.

"Did that feel good, baby?"

"Yes," she replied breathily.

He trailed a solitary digit over her neck and collarbone, down her chest to a breast. It briefly circled her nipple, and then continued its downward journey pausing at her belly button and encircling it before coming to rest on her pubes and stroking her gently.

Although the foreplay continued for a while longer, he was soon making love to Sam, trying to control his pressing need so he could satisfy her. Knowing his desire was close to desperate, Sam urged him not to hold back, but he when he realized her body needed more encouragement before they completed their lovemaking, he stopped.

"Jack?" she queried, knowing if he could keep himself from imploding his previous activities would bring him what he wanted for both of them. He'd done it before.

"I don't think I can keep this up for long enough. Not this time," he explained.

Sam supposed the extraordinary emotion of the day was playing a large part in this sexual drama. His body was in dire need, and she wanted him to get what he so frantically required.

"If you need this…" she started, but he stopped her words with another kiss. Yes, he did need it but, just as much as that, Jack needed her to have her fill again too. And with a sudden spark of insight, Sam understood this was something he longed for, that it was as important to him as his own physical yearning. No more protests, she vowed; let him do as he will - whatever he needed to soothe both body and soul. Undoubtedly, they would both get pleasure from his choices.

When their mouths parted, he moved his lips to her neck and down her chest, bestowing her with small kisses and nips of her flesh, all the while continuing to stroke between her legs.

Sam whimpered and he paused, looking up towards her face, and she met his eyes. Her expression whispered its longing and enjoyment and he smiled as her hand touched his head and fingers combed through his hair. Jack grasped the other hand briefly, squeezing and nodding an acknowledgement of her pleasure, and then he dipped his head back to his ministrations.

It wasn't long before the skilful movements of his tongue and fingers brought Sam to that place where Jack knew his lovemaking could fulfill them both, as he so wanted. His self-control was reaching breaking point, so needful was Jack of release. The sexual act itself was bold, powerful and over quickly, but not before they had their ecstatic fill.

"I love you," she declared in a low voice and Jack heaved himself from on top of her, rolling her towards him, kissing her forehead and embracing her.

"You must be nuts, but I'm not complaining," he replied jestingly, and she tittered, nuzzling into his neck and nestling there silently, fingers smoothing over his back.

Jack was happy to bask in that peaceful calm, feeling more relaxed and content than he had for days, if not weeks. When she eventually spoke, he was stunned by her words, uncertain how to handle the thorny subject.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised that woman still has a thing for you after all these years. I did – do."

In typical Jack fashion, he tried to pass it off with a sarcastic, self-deprecating joke. "Sure, I'm totally irresistible. Once smitten, you never get over me. Overwhelming O'Neill, that's me."

"You can say that again," she replied seriously, kissing the section of his neck her lips rested against.

"I was kidding!" He drew back sufficiently to study her face.

"I know, but I wasn't. I bet you've left a trail of broken hearts in your wake."

He burst into a self-mocking laugh. "Flatterer. I'm not the special one in this room."

Sam's finger reached for his face, soothing along the furrows caused by the wake of his smile.

"You are so wrong about that," she insisted, propping herself up on an elbow and eyeing him emphatically, but he merely greeted her words with a derisive snort. "You think someone as brilliant and beautiful as me would end up wanting to marry an also ran?" she added in her own sarcastic tone, playing him at his own game.

At those words, Jack's thoughts quickly turned to her previous two fiances, but he refrained from mentioning them. Neither of them had been good enough for Sam, but who was? What really mattered was that she had chosen him to spend the rest of her life with and this time she wouldn't back out. Jack couldn't have been surer of that. This made him special and he decided to voice that opinion.

"I'm only special because you chose me." His hand hooked over her arm, thumb stroking her silky skin affectionately.

"No, I chose you because you're special," she persisted. In all honesty, this was what she believed and Jack was aware Sam genuinely meant it, honored she thought so.

"Ack! Let's change the subject," he replied, hand wafting in the air dismissively

"But I like talking about you." The corners of her lips fluttered into a small smile.

"You know me and compliments," he replied in a tone as flippant as his gesticulations.

"Jack, you're an impossible man!" Sam's eyes widened in vexation; sometimes his humility could be downright irksome, matched only by his arrogance, which was just another contradiction borne from her lover's complexity. Irksome, perhaps, but she wouldn't want him any other way.

e could be an arrogant

"But you love me anyway, right?" he countered with a beam that split his face in two.

The smile was as irresistible as ever. "I simply adore you," she responded teasingly, "right alongside all those broken-hearted women."

"Sheesh!" He rolled his eyes dramatically and Sam giggled, snuggling up to him again. Her fingers tugged playfully at the hairs on his chest and he shivered delightedly, remaining silent for long moments and luxuriating in her affection.

It was not that long, however, before his thoughts roamed to their fateful meeting in the cemetery and eventually he punctuated the peaceful silence with some somber words. "It was kind of weird bumping into Jean like that. H-how do you feel about it?"

"It's nice of her to think of your mom," she replied evenly.

"I mean…"

"I know what you mean."

"Oh." He drew in a deep breath. "Damn it, Sam, I don't know what to say. Should I just pretend it never happened?"

She thought for a short while. "But it did happen."

"So… you-you… crap! I never meant for it to happen. I hoped we'd got through that. We have, haven't we?"

Once again, she paused before replying. "Yes, I think so. Sure, it was weird. Sure, my heart thudded in my chest and I felt a little sick for a while. Sure, it upset me. What do you want me to say?" Her tone was calm and confident rather than doubtful, and Jack smiled to himself, thinking they were fine but needing to ask, to rid them of the specter once and for all.

"I don't know. I guess I just want to be sure you're okay; that we're okay."

"Ack!" she exclaimed, glancing at him with an expression that was half frown and half smile, playfully mocking. "You know we are. After what I said, after we just made love… does anything about that make you think we're not okay? We're good."

He nodded to emphasize his agreement and grinned. "More than good, I think."

"Yeah, way more than good." Her expression metamorphosed into a full-on, bright smile and she kissed his cheek, quickly settling back down to nestle her head against him again.

"I-I got so… emotional earlier," he commented after a few moments silence, and she pulled back to look at him askance.

"You don't think you need to be sorry, do you?" she asked, wanting clarification of his feelings.

"Not really, but I don't generally do the wailing and gnashing of teeth thing. It doesn't sit well with me."

"You're embarrassed?"

"Yeah, kind of."

"You shouldn't have to feel like that with me, Jack."

"I know, but since when has that stopped me?" He smiled, eyebrows arching to give him a slightly satirical look. "I just…"

"Stop!" she exclaimed, pushing a finger up to his lips in a gesture meant to silence him. "You're human, so what? I love that vulnerable Jack O'Neill just as much as I love the hero, if not more."

He was amused. "I should have guessed. You're a woman."

"You don't say?" she replied sarcastically.

"Tee, hee, hee," he retorted with equal sarcasm.

"I love my Mister Scarecrow." She kissed him tenderly on the lips and then stared into his dark eyes. "Jack, I'm really happy you opened up to me."

He saw water glistening in her eyes, and a couple of tears strayed down her cheeks. "Sam, baby… what…?"

"I love that you needed me."

"That's why you're crying?"

"I'm not crying."

He grinned, kissing the tear streaks on her face. "You so are."

"Not."

"Are."

They both laughed, speaking simultaneously. "Sounds like Daniel." This provoked more laughter.

When their laughter died down, Jack got serious again, picking her up on her earlier words. "Did you ever doubt I need you?" he asked curiously.

"We've both been more or less independent and insular for years..."

"And I don't know how I got through my life for all those years without you sharing it."

"I was there."

"Yeah, and I was all the better for that, Sam, always. But I wanted more."

"We both did. We've got it now."

"I do need you. You're like a part of me – a big part. If I lost you, I don't…

"You aren't going to lose me. Ever."

"You say that now," he kidded. Extricating herself from his grasp and propping up on an elbow again, she ran a finger over his cheek and he looked into her eyes. Only when she had captured his full attention did she speak again.

"You know I mean it, don't you? After everything… everything you've told me about yourself, everything we've been through… I know this is going to work."

"Ya think?" he said with a half smile and a sarcastic tone. "Of course it's going to work, we're great together Sam, but you could do better. Find a better jerk. I'm just sayin'…"

He smirked and Sam chuckled. "No way. You're more than jerk enough for me," she joked and he laughed, fingers caressing her hair.

"I guess I'm grateful for that."

"You don't need to be grateful, Jack, you just need to accept I love you - truly, madly and deeply. You need to learn to live with that."

He stared into her eyes and saw the truth of her words writ large. "I can do that, I really can," Jack said eventually. "I do, Sam," he added in a tone of finality, softly kissing the tip of her nose.

It seemed Jack's demon wouldn't be coming to call this time, and he had really learned to accept her love and what that love meant for him, despite his past, which wrestled against that acceptance. She smiled, snuggling up to him once again and saying nothing more. Frankly, there was nothing left to say.


	35. Never Alone: Faking It

Title: Never Alone 35: Faking It

Category: Romance, Angst, Drama

Content Level: Age 13+ Content Level: Age 13+ An adult Only version of this story can be found on my website Fic with Fins website (address in my profile) by following the link on the main index page.

Content Warnings: Sexual situations and use of mild language

Pairings: Jack & Sam, Daniel/Other (Francine)

Season: S9 onwards

Spoilers: Nothing of much consequence

Summary: Daniel frets about his role as Jack's best man while, separated by many miles, Jack and Sam try to imagine themselves together in a virtual reality of their own making

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

Author's Note:

1. I dedicate this story to the fans of Francine Butler and to Francine's alter ego across the Big Pond in Alexandria, Virginia, USA, who knows who she is!

2. My apologies to one and all for the delay in adding a new chapter to this series. Some of you have been nudging me, and you have all been waiting patiently for too long, but my muse wanted me to turn my mind to other things, and sometimes there is no way one can control the muse.

3. This chapter has not been beta read, and I hope it doesn't suffer from that lack and that you enjoy it despite any mistakes I might have made.

**Never Alone 35: Faking It**

Daniel Jackson was a worried man. Pleased with himself in some ways, and sometimes a little smug, but this didn't stop him being worried. Pleased because he felt honored Jack had asked him to be his best man. Pleased because he was in the loop about the wedding preparations and privy to the little secret surprises both Jack and Sam planned for each other for their nuptials. Pleased because his two friends were so in love and seemed to be happy at last. Pleased because their relationship seemed to work when it so easily might not have, which could have broken either one of them. Pleased because it pleased him to please Jack, although there was no way he'd ever admit that openly.

But with the role of best man comes many responsibilities, so he was also worried. Worried about organizing the bachelor party. Worried he'd loose or forget the rings at the most crucial of times. Worried about what he was going to say in his best man's speech. Worried about playing host at the reception and making sure everything went smoothly. Worried he'd screw up and forget to do that one important thing, whatever it may be.

Right now, in the middle of the night and unable to sleep, Daniel was going through a worry phase and all pleasure and self-satisfaction had vanished into the ether. In his overactive mind, the little things had grown out of all proportion, germinating and burgeoning as they have a habit of doing when darkness and quiet descend and most people are snoring their heads off in bed, living in a world of dreams. This is a time when shadows, ghosts and demons ascend from their places of hiding to haunt the living who should have been sleeping, but could not.

Taking the role very seriously, Daniel had read so much about the duties and responsibilities of the best man that he could have written a book. Research was something he was good at, but when his Google search on "role of best man" brought up over ninety million links, he'd been what might be called more than a little stunned.

Filtering through the information to get the gist of what his duties entailed was the easy part, but there was a lot to consider. Daniel thought he would probably work on his speech for days, honing its content so it was entertaining, but acceptable. He was certain that part of his responsibilities would be one of the hardest, and most nerve-wracking.

It surprised him to find one could even buy pre-written wedding speeches on line, although perhaps it shouldn't have because he knew you could purchase just about anything through the internet these days. Not that he intended to do anything like that, of course. His speech would be unique, and entirely appropriate to his two best friends and the occasion.

The speech was, however, a tricky issue. Many of the best amusing anecdotes about Jack, Daniel couldn't divulge to anyone that didn't have triple super plus extra trinium coated security clearance, or whatever, which was a bit of a headache. With tongue firmly in cheek, Daniel wondered if he could find a way to sneak some of those in without revealing national secrets and having to kill a number of the wedding guests afterwards.

Playing host at the reception could be another difficult chore. 'Ensure you are the last man standing', one page of advice had offered, so not much alcohol for Daniel Jackson that day. A few small sips of champagne as toastmaster and that would be about it, otherwise he might embarrass himself. Jack had always told Daniel he was a cheap date and he was right. The younger man still couldn't hold his liquor too well. Practice did not necessarily make perfect, as he had learned, often to his regret when he suffered for indulging.

Organizing the bachelor party was a huge responsibility, but he hoped he could pull that off with a little help from Jimmy as a chief adviser and confidante. To Daniel's surprise, even Jimmy agreed the party should probably be entirely PG rated. Neither of them thought Jack was the kind of man who would appreciate strippers and the like, even though some of his guests might.

The groom and many of his friends might be Air Force, which could imply some NC-17 content, but Jack was a two-star general and that meant the event should probably have a little decorum. No strippers, no lap dancers, no tying naked to lampposts, no one way trips to Timbuktu - just a few friends getting together, having fun, and probably getting drunk as skunks. All except Daniel, of course, who as best man had the responsibility of getting the groom home in one piece.

Of course, as also advised in all the research, they agreed to hold the stag night a few days before the big event. The notion of Jack O'Neill suffering a hangover at his own wedding didn't bear thinking about, and Sam would kill Daniel if he let that happen. The night before the wedding, he planned to stick to Jack like his shadow, which hopefully wouldn't be too hard. His friend would be staying at his place so Sam and her entourage could use hers.

Then there was that bad luck to see the bride superstition to consider and, although not necessarily overly superstitious, Jack wasn't taking any chances. For a man who took many risks in his life, he thought certain things simply weren't worth risking.

Daniel figured arranging the transport for both the bachelor do and the wedding shouldn't cause too many problems, assuming nothing went wrong, but it was his job to ensure nothing did go wrong. He was okay with that, although it made him slightly nervous to realize he would be pivotal to so many of the wedding arrangements, a focal point of contact and all that. What if he wasn't up to it?

Deep down, he was fairly confident that he wouldn't forget or lose the rings, which didn't stop Daniel worrying about it. The literature was so emphatic on that point, often repeating a mantra about rings so many times that it was sufficient to make any normal, rational man lean toward the paranoid. Presumably, that was the whole point.

Already, Daniel had a dozen or more brightly colored little sticky notes scattered in strategic places in his house to remind him about them, and various other things he had to remember on the day, and in the weeks leading up to the wedding. He even had a small notebook that he kept with him at all times while on Earth, to ensure he had reminders and notes to refer to if his genius of a brain should fail him.

However, one job in particular was going to be tough, and when he considered the possibilities it filled him with anxiety above everything else. It was part of a best man's role to keep the groom calm. Yeah right, like that was going to happen! Daniel figured Jack would be as jittery as young boy on his first day at school.

Most people probably wouldn't believe Jack to be a jittery kind of guy. He was an Air Force General, after all, with nerves of steel and all that, and Daniel had seen those put to the test many times. But Jack was also very human and, when it came to affairs of the heart, could behave as much like a gauche teenager as the next guy, particularly about Sam.

Not for the first time did Daniel consider how Jack could turn into a gooey mess as far as she was concerned - all that tough, pragmatic soldier O'Neill type behavior could just melt into a puddle on the floor. It was kind of endearing, really, although Jack would have been mortified to hear it described as such.

So, Daniel was confident Jack wouldn't get backing out at the last minute type nerves. No way in hell would his friend ever back out of this marriage, which was something he clearly wanted more than almost anything else he could have in the entire galaxy. That was part of the point of why Jack might be a nervous wreck. So what that he'd been married before and knew the score - a fat lot of difference that would make.

The younger man knew his old friend well enough to realize that, by the day of the wedding, Jack would probably be quaking in his boots worrying about the raft of things that might go wrong. All normal wedding nerves, but in Jack O'Neill style. Boy, could that man fidget. Jack was so restless when tense. Daniel could envisage constant movement – pacing, fiddling, gesticulating, squirming, doodling, twiddling. He made a mental note to himself to buy Jack a heap of yo-yos to play with on the day so he could keep occupied, a notion Daniel knew he should jot down in his notebook. That could prove to be a good investment, because surely Jack would drive him to distraction and turn him into a wreck too.

Consequently, however anxious Daniel might be about his role as best man, he realized he would never be able to show any outward signs to his friend. He would need to exude confidence enough for the both of them so Jack would stay as calm as possible, and believe him when Daniel told him that everything would be perfect and nothing would go wrong. That's what best men do, right?

Daniel made another mental note to keep the ever cool and collected Teal'c close-by for moral support, and to keep Jack in line if necessary. On the other hand, a zatted groom might not go down too well. The little scene that sprang to Daniel's mind made him chuckle aloud with mirth. He could so see Teal'c doing that.

Preoccupied as he was, Daniel didn't hear the light step behind him and was surprised when a hand grasped his arm gently, although he turned to face Francine with a smile on his lips because that soft and comforting touch was very welcome.

"Can't sleep, darling?" she whispered enquiringly, allowing her hand to brush over him as he turned, and then draping it delicately across his neck.

As she had entered the room, the vision of Daniel Jackson standing staring out of the window in only his boxers had made her heart skip a beat, and she had smiled. The smile remained on her lips as Daniel turned, and broadened at the sight of his. Daniel's hand moved to hers on his neck, enclosing it in his and then pulling it to his lips for a tender kiss. Affection danced in his eyes and warmed Francine's heart.

"Just thinking," he replied, placing his other arm around her waist and tugging her closer.

"You never stop thinking."

"Part of the human condition," he said. "Keeps us as much alive as gravity or oxygen."

His small smile turned into an all out grin, eyes wrinkling at the corners and nose puckering up in that adorable manner she so loved, prompting Francine to lean forward and kiss it. Her free hand skittered down his bared back, stopping when it reached the elastic of his boxers.

"Very profound," she commented lightly, and Daniel chuckled in response.

"Hardly that," he said, kissing her brow.

"I like it when you're profound."

They inched closer, and Daniel's lips trailed down her cheek while Francine hitched a small breath, sighing in approval of his affection.

"In that case, I'll try more often," he responded in a low tone. "I didn't wake you, did I?" This time, concern tinged his voice.

"I don't know. I just kind of noticed you weren't there, I guess. I like it when you're there."

"I like it when you're there too," he said, pulling her toward him and enfolding her in his arms. She nuzzled her face into his neck and embraced him in return.

Daniel and Francine's relationship had started most inauspiciously. She had made a play for Jack and Daniel had walked in on that. Then, later at her party, she'd gone all out for Daniel, flirting outrageously, and seducing him with equal shamelessness. Just another notch on her bedpost, Daniel had supposed, and he hadn't been averse to using her for sexual gratification either.

She had seemed to be that type, wanting to be used as much as wanting to use, and the seduction had appeared to be a casual sexual encounter, as if they might meet occasionally for wild sex and find nothing else to keep them interested in each other. It was apparent that Jack and Sam had set them up especially for that purpose. They believed their friend needed sex and found it for him. Daniel was betting that was Jack's idea and that Sam simply went along with it.

As it turned out, the Francine Butler who hid beneath the outrageously flirtatious and seductive mask was an entirely different woman. Daniel had discovered that very quickly indeed, and had no regrets about embroiling himself in this relationship, quite the reverse. At first, they each filled a desperate need in the other; a need for sex and companionship with a member of the opposite sex. The desperation part had faded while the need for each other had grown, as had the companionship. It wasn't about sex anymore. It was more than that, although how much more neither of them knew.

Although they didn't know it about each other, they both sometimes wondered if an irresistible force had taken a hold and was gripping them increasingly tightly in its embrace. Neither of them wanted to over analyze it, and for different reasons.

Francine had been hurt, many times and badly. Her mask hid deep scars borne from heartache and pain. Involvement, reliance, and commitment all scared the crap out of her, and most of the time she kept things light enough to cover the deeper emotions she hardly dared admit, even to herself.

Daniel had loved Sha're with every fiber of his being. Never had there been such a love, or so he thought in that way people do when they find something so special that it seems the word love is insufficient to describe it. Then he had lost her, too soon and too terribly, and the loss served to amplify the special nature of that love.

Since then he had loved, or so it seemed, but never truly, deeply loved. Not like with Sha're - nothing and no one could live up to the memory and emotion Sha're invoked, even years after her death. Or this was what Daniel's subconscious seemed to think. His late wife was a hard act to follow, as can so often be the case with those who get torn so abruptly and prematurely from one's side.

Both Daniel and Francine were aware they could be a little infatuated with each other, and drift off into dreams, fantasies and realms that made them appear this way. Rarely did either of them speak of feelings, and infatuation is something quite different to love. So, they simply existed and behaved how they behaved, not examining or dissecting it as that might spoil it for either one of them.

As he held her in his arms, Daniel's mind wandered back to a conversation he'd had with Jack about this very subject just a few weeks before.

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At the time, Daniel was staying with Francine and popped over to visit his friend, her neighbor, as was his habit if Jack and he were around at the same time. They'd get together, even if only briefly, and maybe have a beer sitting in Jack's den or the yard. Sometimes they might go out to a bar, and the three of them got together occasionally for a meal. Daniel and Francine tried their best not to let Jack feel like the odd man out, although when Sam was around as well a foursome was better, and could be kind of fun.

The four of them got along okay, but both couples liked their alone time, and lots of it. Enforced separation for long periods had that effect. They didn't like, or want, to live in each other's pockets.

On this occasion, the two men were sitting in Jack's den sipping beer and playing chess. The den tended to be the male only bastion in his house in Alexandria and Sam rarely entered when she was there. Jack had set it up shortly after moving there, and sometimes used it when he needed quality alone time while he had visitors staying. Unless invited inside, it was strictly no entry.

With the exception of the desk, where he might park himself to write or use his laptop when necessary, Jack could sit there in comfort to watch TV or listen to music undisturbed if he so wished. Jokingly, he referred to it as his 'Hockey and Mozart Room' and, while vaguely humorous, this was equally deadly serious. Sam called it the "O'Neill Inner Sanctum" and wouldn't have dreamed of interfering.

Unlike his living room, which contained newer furniture fit for any guests, this was a place where he could slob around in old comfy chairs he'd had for years and moved with him from place to place. The chairs were well worn, might even be said to be dilapidated, and Sara had always rolled her eyes good-humouredly when he insisted on taking them with him when they moved, ensuring they were carefully packed and stored for transit. The chairs had been with him since the year blob, and Jack held a certain attachment to them. Heaven help the woman who might try to part him from them, and Sam knew better than to make such a futile attempt.

Apart from the chairs, the room contained some of the photographs and memorabilia Jack has collected over the years, the kinds of things that were closest to his heart. His son Charlie featured quite prominently. An old baseball mitt and ball, for example, a photo of him holding a baseball bat in mid air, ready to strike the ball at a school team game, and a couple of him as a baby and older.

There was a striking photograph of Sam with Jack placed prominently on his desk; one in which Jack believed she could have easily competed with the most beautiful and elegant of actresses or models, dressed up in formal evening wear with her hair and make up just so. She couldn't have looked less like a member of the USA's armed forces, although Jack himself was wearing full dress uniform, medals and all.

The official photographer had taken it at one of those formal events they'd attended in DC. Sam also had a copy of it in her living room at home. Her own take on it was to display the gorgeousness of Jack in his dress blues, of course, rather than anything to do with how she looked. As far as she was concerned, only a wedding photograph of their pair of them might be good enough to usurp its pride of place in her home.

One of the photos was an action shot of Jack playing ice hockey in his youth, fully padded up in his old team colors. Through the protective head gear, one could see a gritty expression on his face, and it was obvious that he was skating in for the kill. One of his old buddies had taken the shot.

Sadly, his old friend had been killed in action many years before. The pair had joined the Air Force simultaneously, having shared one of those "together forever" type friendships, with lifetime blood oaths and the kind of things the young do collectively during High School and beyond. Jack could have told many a tale, ranging from good and bad through to highly entertaining. The photo brought back many memories - memories of his youth, of the years before he had married and settled down.

The den also contained various items of memorabilia from his journey through the Air Force, from wet behind the ears cadet, right up to the present day. Most of it was highly personal stuff, candid photographs or a variety of trophies and tokens that signified specific events in his life, rather than any of the official kinds of things he kept elsewhere, like the medals or certificates of achievement he'd earned.

The photos and letters from his mother's effects were stored here, some on public display while some wasn't, and the box he had kept in his locker at the SGC now occupied the room, the contents in tact. Jack could never bear to part with that, or what it contained inside, although he rarely opened it anymore. He didn't really need to because the memories from those years already surrounded him in this sanctum. Old snapshots and correspondence, for example, and souvenirs, like the stuff he'd kept from his childhood: baseball cards, signed memorabilia of old heroes and the like.

This room said much about Jack O'Neill and the things that had been, or remained important, in his life. Daniel enjoyed spending time with his friend in the den. There was something intimate and sometimes almost conspiratorially male about the room. It was a place of bonding and friendship, and a place in which to lick one's wounds and reflect. It was a place where Jack could come and hide himself away when he couldn't be in Minnesota and peacefully fishing his way back to normality.

As they played chess, the two men had been talking about this and that, nothing of Earth shattering consequence, just companionable stuff. Then Jack noticed a far away expression creep over Daniel's features. He watched for a while, not expecting him to remain trance like for long, initially assuming his friend was thinking about his next move.

Convinced he had won the game with a checkmate and that maybe Daniel was pondering this, when he didn't stir for what seemed an age, O'Neill chuckled mirthfully. He hadn't failed to notice that Daniel could be a little bit wistful after having spent some time with Francine.

'Earth to Daniel Jackson, come in,' he thought. Then, speaking aloud, Jack made his friend jerk in his chair at the sound of his deliberately booming tone. "Daniel, you've gone off in a dream again. What does that woman do to you, for cryin' out loud?"

Jack's amused smirk spoke in no uncertain terms about exactly what he thought Francine Butler did to him, and Daniel winced, briefly pondering whether this was what he could appear to be like when he brought up the subject of Sam with Jack. The notion gave him pause.

"Let's not go there," Daniel replied, continuing to think the shoe seemed to be on the other foot in this exchange. Jack would frequently use exactly those same words to Daniel when he probed about something his friend didn't really wish to discuss.

"Nothing wrong with a little friendly chat about the womenfolk, is there Daniel?" Jack replied tartly, probably thinking exactly the same thing as Daniel about role reversal, therefore deliberately pushing it just like the younger man might. "I don't know why you don't just admit you're crazy about her and have done with it."

Jack's direct and blunt approach to the subject surprised Daniel. "I-I'm not crazy about her," he retorted, noting Jack's eyes roll in disbelief. "Sure I like her, like her a lot, enjoy her company, the sex..." He frowned, noticing the smirk return to Jack's lips but deciding to ignore it. "What's not to like, for Christ's sakes? But it's not that kind of relationship, you know… not really serious."

"Bullshit!" Jack bit back and, seeing the look of shocked chagrin on Daniels face, added, "I'm just sayin'…" He shrugged, a boyish innocent expression creeping over his face, something that didn't fool Daniel Jackson for one single minute.

"Francine isn't the kind of woman a man should be serious about," Daniel asserted, taking Jack by surprise. He remembered Daniel defending her in the past and now he seemed to be on the attack. What was it with this guy?

"That's where you are wrong, buddy. Francine is a good woman," Jack said defensively of his neighbor.

"You've changed your tune haven't you? I remember you saying something like that to me!"

"Yeah, well…" Jack started to reply with a small pang of guilt, briefly pondering that old adage about protesting too much. "That was ages ago, before I got to know her better. It was you who told me that she isn't like she appears on the surface, and you were right. Don't let the memory of something you think was better blind you from what you've got right now. That's all I'm saying."

"Memory of something I think was better?" Daniel queried disbelievingly, still wrong footed by Jack's views on this particular subject.

"You know what I mean. Don't be so deliberately obtuse."

"You mean Sha're?" Daniel's forbidding expression at the mention of his late wife's name might have put a different man off from continuing the conversation along this path, but not so Jack O'Neill.

"Duh! Sure I mean Sha're. Who else would I mean?"

Daniel all but gave up trying to steer Jack away from this sensitive theme and sighed resignedly. "But Francine couldn't be more different to Sha're."

"That's precisely my point," said Jack, and Daniel stared at him incredulously, mouth wide open but unmoving. "Look, Daniel, if you want to live in denial that's your problem. I just thought…" Jack didn't get the chance to finish.

"Denial? That's rich coming from a master of denial, isn't it?" The attacked tried to turn the tables on his attacker, but Daniel wasn't going divert Jack so easily. Instead, O'Neill's eyes narrowed and his mouth formed into a thin slit of irritation before opening to respond.

"If you're thinking about Sam, that wasn't really denial, Daniel, just self-denial. Things have changed, moved on."

"Yeah, well maybe that's been true for a while, but it doesn't stop pot and kettle coming to mind. So just butt out, okay, because my relationship with Francine is my business."

Daniel was clearly agitated and slightly annoyed. Jack figured he probably couldn't blame him for that as the man's reaction reminded him of how he might have behaved in similar circumstances, and not really so long ago.

"Okay," he replied in an exasperated manner, holding his hands in the air in a gesture of surrender. "I guess I just want my friends to be as happy as I am."

Although slightly put out by Jack's attitude, Daniel smiled at that, his manner becoming more placid. He kind of liked that Jack wanted this for his friends because he had an inkling of how happy Sam made him.

"I'm perfectly content with things the way they are," he claimed.

"Are you?" Jack retorted, peering at him probingly. "It occurs to me that you seem a lot happier when Francine is around than when she isn't, that's all."

"You really think…?" Daniel queried, as if the fact came as a surprise to him, but Jack said nothing, although his expression was a definite affirmative.

A few moments of silence settled between the two men and O'Neill decided he'd probably said enough on the subject of Francine.

"Checkmate I think you'll find, by the way," he said, changing the subject back to their game.

Daniel glared at him briefly before turning his attentions to the chess board, relieved by the change of topic. Staring at it for a while, he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, pushing his glasses up his nose and then drumming his fingers on their frame at his temple as he pondered various permutations. In a slightly perturbed manner, he looked back toward Jack, a faint expression of vexation on his face.

He so hated when Jack bested him at chess although, given that his friend was a tactical genius when it came to military strategy, he was pretty darned good at the game and Daniel shouldn't have been so surprised. He always was, though, thinking he was the better player when it came to chess, something that Jack also purported.

Perhaps this chess thing was one of those friendship myths that they'd built up between them over the years. Daniel hadn't kept a tally of wins and losses but, now he considered it, thought Jack was a sneaky son of a gun who deliberately played up to that myth, lulling his opponent into a false sense of security. Nothing with Jack was ever as simple as it seemed. It had taken Daniel a while to realize and understand that about his old colleague, and Jack retained his touch, the ability of obscuration.

Reluctantly, he had to concede defeat and Daniel laid down his king with a grimace. "Okay, so you got me this time, but next time…" he said in a tone of jocular threat.

"Yeah sure, Daniel. Whatever," Jack replied with amusement, and a dismissive wave of his hand. "Want a drink?" he asked, reaching toward the small well stocked fridge that was also a feature of his den.

Daniel glanced at his watch, taken aback by the rapid passing of time. "I'd better not. Francine expected me back an hour ago."

"Bet she didn't expect any such thing despite what you might have told her. She knows you too well to be duped," Jack replied with a smirk. The pair often ran over time when they got together. Both Sam and Francine were aware of that and neither of them batted an eye at the prospect of anything different.

Daniel grinned. "Yeah, you're probably right, but now I know I'm late I guess I should get going."

"Francine doesn't know you know you're late," Jack retorted, and Daniel chuckled, wondering if his friend really expected or wanted him to stick around for a while longer.

"Maybe. She might not actually expect me back for hours. So perhaps I should surprise her and turn up early."

Noting Daniel's wistful smile, Jack thought back to the conversation he'd started earlier and that had seemed to disturb his young friend.

"Okay old buddy, go sow your wild oats." He rose from his chair, ready to see Daniel off the premises and pointedly ignoring his irritated glance.

"Wild oats?" Daniel said in a miffed tone, but Jack merely shrugged and moved away to open the den door.

Silently, the two men walked through the house to the front door, Daniel stepping ahead of Jack and opening it to leave. They exchanged quick comradely grins on the doorstep, but no parting words as Daniel started to walk away from the front door, so he was surprised when Jack spoke again.

"Don't make Francine live up to the memory of a dead woman, Daniel. It's not fair on her, or on you."

Daniel didn't turn back to look at his friend, simply waving an arm behind him to acknowledge he'd heard. He had to admit that before Jack voiced those thoughts earlier, he had tried to avoid contemplating that Sha're's memory remained an obstacle to living the rest of his life, believing he was living it - and managing very well too, thank you very much. Sure, he thought about his dead wife quite a lot, and very fondly, continuing to mourn her loss, but she was gone, wasn't she? He was handling it, wasn't he?

Jack's words made him wonder about it, but he didn't like to dig too deep into that morass, fearful of what he might find. He had too much other crap to deal with, right? So, he tinkered around the edges of the pool, only venturing to dip his toe in from time to time but never fully submersing himself. One day, Daniel knew he'd have to wade deep out into that water and duck his head under but maybe now wasn't the right time.

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Now, with his arms entwined around Francine, Daniel was pondering whether Jack had been right about him being in denial.

"So, what's keeping you awake, rock boy?" she asked fondly. Daniel snorted. He swore Francine must have got that term of endearment from Jack but, funnily enough, rather enjoyed the little nickname coming from her. Coming from Jack, on the other hand, it probably would have irritated him.

"I was thinking about best man duties," he confessed.

"You'll do fine, Daniel," she asserted, wholly confident that he would.

"What if I don't?"

"What makes you think you won't?"

"It's a big responsibility. I don't want to let Jack down or make him regret asking me. There's a lot to remember."

If Francine had known some of the work he'd done at the SGC, diplomacy and the like, she might have laughed that he should worry about something so comparatively trivial, although she would have understood that for Daniel it wasn't trivial; for him there was something very significant about being the best man to General Jack O'Neill.

However, she didn't know, and didn't laugh, although she did try to make light of it. Francine knew about the kinds of demons that can haunt a person in the middle of the night, both the relatively minor and important ones, and wanted to help chase Daniel's away.

"All these sticky memos and notes everywhere aren't enough?" she teased, waving her hand around at his house in general.

Daniel sighed. "You think I worry too much."

"Yeah. You'll be the best, best man ever."

He laughed and pulled his head back to look her in the eyes. "Sweet, but I don't necessarily have to be as long as I'm competent."

"You're a pretty competent man in many areas, Doctor Daniel Jackson," she replied in a slightly mocking tone, eyeing him in a suggestive manner. "So there's no reason to suppose you shouldn't do a good job of that too."

Kissing her briefly on the cheek, he smirked. "I guess we should go back to bed and test that competency you refer to."

"Now that would be a real pleasure," she drawled in a throaty manner that Daniel could almost have sworn was a purr.

One of her fingertips softly trailed along the line of his cheekbone and they moved apart. Placing the flat of his hand against her back, he steered her toward the bedroom and, pausing at the door, pulled her close for a kiss, his tongue seeking hers with passion. Francine could feel his sudden desire writ large thorough his boxers.

"Mmmm, big boy, are you gonna make love to mama?" she teased, grabbing his ass. Daniel laughed.

"Too darned right I am. C'mere."

She giggled as he swayed her in his arms and then pulled her through the door toward the bed. Then he noticed something that gave him pause and, for the first time, truly ponder the impact Sha're might have on Francine. His wife's picture still stood on his nightstand and Francine couldn't have failed to notice it, yet had said nothing. He wondered if it bothered her.

Yeah, Jack was probably right. It irked Daniel to realize it, but that didn't make what he'd said any the less true.

Francine noticed his slight change of mood, surprised when he reached for the ubiquitous photo of his wife and opened a draw, placing it inside. Smiling at her shyly, he took her hand, softly nibbling her fingertips.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

"She'd been dead for a long time, Francine, and you're right here and very much alive."

Her eyebrows arched with astonishment. "I'm not sure what that means," she said uncertainly.

"Does it have to mean something?"

"I-I don't know."

He peered at her seriously for a moment before encouraging her to sit on the bed. When he spoke, Daniel didn't meet her eyes, but his fingers absently stroked the knuckles of her hand.

"I've lived under her shadow for a long time. She'll always seem perfect in my memory because she's gone and I was so in love with her. But no one is perfect in reality. I can't let her memory haunt me for the rest of my life. I have to move on." He glanced up at Francine, finding her expression filled with emotion, and figured the photo probably had bothered her. "I can't have my late wife staring down at us while we're making love now, can I?" he said more light-heartedly. "As Jack might say, that's just wrong on so many levels."

She summoned a laugh but continued to reel from the implications, confused.

"Commitment scares the hell out of me, Daniel," she admitted after a long pause of consideration. Now, his eyes remained firmly fixed on hers.

"I know. Me too. That's why it doesn't have to mean anything, not if you don't want it to."

She nodded and sniffled, moved by the conversation more than she might have imagined. "Okay, but what if I do want it to?"

"Then I think I can live with that too. Better… probably." The shy smile was back.

"I-I don't know what… I'm not sure… I really like you, Daniel. More than just like, I guess…" Her words petered out into nothing, Francine's lack of certainty clear in the tenor of her voice. With an arm snaking around her back and draping over her shoulders, Daniel smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way, giving her a quick and gentle squeeze.

"It's okay, Francine. We can fake it," he responded smiling in that way she loved so much again. "Just take it as it comes, huh? I don't know either, but I figure we should try and find out, don't you?"

This time, a small smile accompanied her nod, and she reached up a hand to cup his cheek.

"Make love to me, Daniel," she whispered, and Francine's expression was not seductive, outrageously flirtatious, or in the least facetious. Rather, it was that of a young woman who held genuine feelings of affection towards the man she requested the lovemaking from.

So, he did as she asked because she asked it of him, not simply because he wanted to anyway, taking his slow, tender and thoughtful time with the seduction. As he did so, Daniel realized how much he enjoyed the pleasure she took from it - as much as his own. That pleasure seemed to enhance his, and their lovemaking that night was joyous, filled with warmth and devotion. Afterwards, they snuggled up closely to each other, saying little for a considerable time.

"Competent enough for you?" he asked jokily, breaching the silence.

"Mmmm… a whole lot more than competent, rock boy," she replied with a sated grin, running her finger through his hair. "Feel better?"

"Yeah. Like you say, I'll be the best, best man ever!" he exclaimed wholeheartedly, making her laugh with that deep throaty sound he enjoyed so much.

"I'm sure Jack will think so."

"Ya think?" said Daniel with a grin. Francine didn't respond, simply taking him into her arms and caressing his back until she heard and felt the tell tale signs of sleep. Then she allowed herself to relax entirely so she could join him in the land of dreams

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Hot and sweaty after a day filled with stuffy meetings in the stuffy Pentagon, when he opened his front door, Jack O'Neill shot straight up the stairs, throwing his briefcase on his bed and loosening his tie.

"Agh!" he exclaimed, as the tie stubbornly stayed put while he exerted increasing force trying to remove it. Frustrated, he gave up momentarily, instead shucking off his shoes and socks and unzipping his pants. Hurriedly, he removed the pants, folding them neatly over a chair, then his jacket, which joined the pants, and his boxers, which didn't.

Returning to struggle with the tie, he mumbled something about more haste less speed when, this time, it seemed to slip off with ease. For a few seconds, he glared at it as if it were alive and deliberately sent to plague him, before throwing it on the bed along with his shirt.

Naked as the day he was born, Jack trotted into the adjoining bathroom, turning on the shower to heat up before sliding into the cubicle and heaving a long languorous and relieved sigh.

"Nothing like a steaming hot shower to help give a man some perspective," he muttered aloud, reaching for the shower gel and lathering himself while the water cascaded pleasingly down his bare flesh.

It had been a pig of a day. All those days when Jack's schedule dictated meeting after meeting were a pig, in his opinion. It seemed he hardly got a break to pause for breath. When is a man supposed to get any real work done, for crying out loud?

The shower was expedient rather than a luxury, so he finished quickly, stepping out of the cubicle and reaching for a large towel to wrap around him. Barely pausing to dry his soaked skin, he sauntered back to the bedroom and lay down on his bed without bothering to get dressed, reaching for the phone and hitting the speed dial.

The forkful of pasta that was edging toward Sam Carter's mouth came to an abrupt halt as the telephone rang. Placing the fork back in the bowl, and pushing the dish to one side, she quickly got up and ran to answer the call. It was Jack's turn to call her and she really hoped it was him.

The reliance she placed on hearing his voice, on some form of contact, had ceased to bother her a long time ago. In fact, she loved the secure and comforting feelings that reliance gave her, as well as the frisson of excitement she still felt each time she heard his voice on the other end of the phone.

"Sam Carter," she said brightly as she picked up the handset.

"Jack O'Neill," the voice down the other end of the line echoed in similar refrain. The pair both smiled.

"Hi, honey," Sam replied, slumping onto the couch and tucking her legs up under her to settle down for the duration. And it would be for quite some duration, because their calls always were, even though they were frequent and often filled with long periods of silence. The silence didn't matter when it was Jack on the other end of the line. All that mattered was that he was there. She might have preferred his physical presence, but this was the next best thing. Jack felt the same way, and Sam knew that very well.

Sometimes they might speak, or not, more than once in a day. Late at night, when they were in bed, one might call the other just because it felt good to do that when they were about to go to sleep. In the absence of the other right by their side for a cuddle, this virtual cuddle did very well indeed as a substitute.

Maybe it was corny, maybe it wasn't, but these little things made the couple more content about their obligatory long absences from each other. They were just some of the long list of things they did to demonstrate their strong bond, often without even considering they were doing them.

"Hey babe," said Jack in response to her hi.

"The flowers are lovely, Jack. Thanks."

She'd been delighted when the large bouquet turned up before she left for the SGC that morning. Jack didn't send her flowers that often, just often enough it seemed, and not so often that she failed to appreciate them when they arrived.

That morning's bouquet sat proudly in a vase Jack had also given her after she had fallen in love with it on one of their many meanders into the centre of Alexandria. A little shop not far from Jack's place sold the unusual and the curious, a lot of which was very much to Sam's taste. The pair often popped in when she stayed with him, and Jack might not buy anything there and then, but he would make mental notes and sometimes turn up in Colorado Springs with an object she seemed to desire.

Jack enjoyed spending money on her. Not vast fortunes because he didn't have those, but he was well off enough to be relatively lavish and liked giving her gifts.

Sam had placed the vase of flowers in the living room and could see it from where she sat. The evening light shining through her window seemed to heighten the various shades of pink, red and white petals with their hues of greenery.

Jack didn't reply to her comment about the bouquet, merely smiling contentedly. It gave him immense satisfaction to please her.

"So, whatchya doing?" he asked.

"I was eating."

"Oh. I could call back."

"Don't you dare hang up! You think I care about cold congealed pasta when I can talk to you instead?"

"Cold congealed pasta? Sounds yummy," he responded in a sarcastic tone.

"Well, that's what they created microwaves for wasn't it?"

"To reheat cold congealed pasta?" He arched an eyebrow amusedly and although she couldn't see that, Sam might easily have guessed.

"Of course. What else?"

Jack chuckled, starting to feel relaxed after his long day of meetings. A shower and talking to Sam - nothing much could beat that.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Lying on my bed in nothing but a towel."

"Butt naked? Mmmm… wish this phone had a screen. We really should set up that webcam I keep talking about."

"Does that mean I would get to see you butt naked too?"

"Yeahsureyabetchya!" she replied, giggling.

"Then why the heck didn't you say so? We'll get one in every room!"

"Aw, Jack, you are so adorable."

"Yeah, I know…"

"Don't you just!" They both laughed again.

"How's all the crap for the wedding going? Anything I should know about?"

"Just that I'm beginning to think we should have eloped," Sam grumbled, noting her husband-to-be's amused snort.

"Still can. I can pack a bag in five…"

Sam snickered. "Imagine everyone's disappointment if we ran off and got married."

"Daniel would be devastated. He so seems to be getting into all that best man stuff."

She grinned indulgently. "He might not say it, Jack, but he admires you. I think he feels honored you asked him rather than an older friend like Jimmy."

"Think I'd trust Jimmy? Left to him, my bachelor party would end with me trussed up like a turkey at Thanksgiving and on a train to Nowheresville."

"That's a bit unfair to Jimmy, but I take your point. I'd be mortified if you were a no show," she said light-heartedly.

"As if… 'Ain't no mountain high enough', as the song goes," he retorted, getting the desired reaction of a chuckle from Sam, plus a refrain along the lines of 'nothing will keep me, keep me from you', thrown in for good measure. Jack chortled merrily and then returned to what she had said earlier. "So, you figure Daniel feels honored, eh?" he asked, and Sam imagined his boyish and shy but also somewhat smug grin beaming down the phone at her.

"Of course he does."

"Admires me, you say?"

She laughed at his tone. "Sure, you two have your moments, but…"

"Moments?" Jack interrupted. "You've got that right, we rarely agree about anything. But… Daniel is special. Like it might have been with one of my kid brothers, I guess."

Sam's thoughts turned to Jack's turbulent childhood but she detected no rancor or sorrow in his tone. Their trip to Chicago seemed to have mellowed him as far as his family were concerned, particularly toward his mother. Somehow, he seemed more at ease with himself these days, which was great for him, and for them. She wondered if Jack's thoughts had strayed along the same path.

"Special?" she replied. "Yes, he's special. He's family. That's special."

"Don't you dare ever tell Daniel I said that, by the way," he warned and Sam chuckled.

"You men are nuts. The world would be a better place if you got into that touchy feely stuff with your friends."

"Daniel and I do touchy feely stuff," he objected.

"Sure you do," she replied.

"Do I detect a slight hint of sarcasm, Colonel Carter?"

"Only a slight hint?" she replied with tongue firmly in cheek.

"I'll have you know that I'm quite good at touchy feely stuff. Well, better these days than I used to be." After he spoke, Sam could have sworn she could see the shrug she imagined his shoulders making.

"With me, maybe."

"See!"

"But with Daniel?"

"Yeah, well, I try. He can be difficult."

"He says that about you."

"He does? Oh." His tone sounded vaguely disappointed.

"Don't pout."

"How do you know…?"

"I just know."

"Right. Of course you do."

She imagined him furrowing his eyebrows in puzzlement as he fell silent. "Wish I could see you now, Mr. Scarecrow."

Sam determined that when she went to Jack's next, she'd go armed with webcams and spend some of their precious time together setting them up. That would be so worth it.

"Me too, Dorothy."

This time, she envisaged a smile again - one of those deeply affectionate ones that Jack seemed to aim only at her, or so Sam liked to think.

"I can see you in my minds eye. I guess that will have to do," he added, picking up a photograph of Sam from close to where he was sitting and smiling at it inanely. Yes, he could picture every freckle and line on her face, every expression she might use, her blue eyes twinkling gaily, her red lips crinkling into a dimpled smile, and every other little detail. But, it didn't hurt to look at the photo anyway and wish it was the real thing.

"Me too, honey," she replied wistfully and they lapsed into silence, each simply listening to the shallow breath of the other. Jack and Sam passed a lot of phone time in peaceable silence.

"I'm gonna sign those papers with Jimmy tomorrow," Jack said, remembering he hadn't mentioned it.

"Great. Our very own restaurant…" she responded in a gently mocking tone. "I'm pleased you decided to go for it, not just because it's Jimmy, but it's a good deal," she added more seriously.

"If it's a success," he reminded her.

"It will be. Jane will see to that."

Jack chuckled affably. Sam might be right about that. Combined, Jimmy and Jane would be quite a formidable partnership, and couple. How could it fail?

Jimmy genuinely had eloped, which had surprised all his friends, as well as Jane. Sweeping her away for a short break, he returned to DC as a married man and Jack had been stunned. Of course, he knew that Jimmy was crazy about Jane, and that he'd proposed, but to actually go through with it – so abruptly, so unannounced - that was a shocker.

Jack kind of envied Jimmy and Jane's elopement and so empathized with Sam's earlier words, almost wishing they could do the same. Her words had been borne from frustration with wedding plans, however, and he knew Sam really wanted to walk down the aisle with all eyes turned toward her, looking beautiful in her wedding dress. Essentially, that was what he wanted too.

In fact, he keenly anticipated standing there next to Daniel in overawed astonishment and joy as he watched her walk toward him. Jack could picture the scene almost as sharply as he could Sam's face. Whatever her dress was like, however she looked, he knew she'd set the world alight that day, and his heart. Hell, even if she wore BDUs it wouldn't bother Jack much. She'd look stunning anyway, heading slowly down the aisle toward him on her way to becoming Mrs. O'Neill. Mrs. O'Neill… oh, boy! That sure was something.

Jack knew he would adore Sam just as much without all of those trappings, even the wedding certificate, but he very much wanted to proclaim their union to the world, and that's what weddings are for, aren't they?

"I bet they'll make a great couple," Sam said, referring to Jimmy and Jane.

"They seemed happy enough at the poker game the other night. I guess I'm glad Jimmy grasped the nettle. Never thought I'd live to see that day."

"Nettle? So if Jane's a nettle, what am I? The thorn in your side?"

"You betchya," he agreed with faint laughter in his voice. "A giant thorn that is buried so deep that I kind of love it now. It niggles sometimes, but you know…" Jack paused for effect and heard a pleasing amused grunt from Sam. "I sure would miss it if it were gone."

"Very cute, sweetie," she said with faint sarcasm, smirking and imagining Jack poking his tongue out at her.

"When a person pokes his tongue out at you, can you hear it all the way down there in the Springs?" he retorted with mock acidity, which made Sam chuckle, particularly given the picture of Jack she'd just conjured in her mind.

"Oh, definitely," she replied, still chortling to herself.

"Don't tell me… you really did know I was poking my tongue out, didn't ya?"

When she murmured agreement, they laughed simultaneously before slipping back into silence again. This was the comforting lull of contact. Not together in the same room, perhaps, and unable to touch as they would have wished, but the phone would do very well indeed, for now. They didn't need to say anything to each other now any more than they did when they were together. On the other hand…

"Did you say you're only wearing a towel?" she asked after a while.

"Uh, huh… fresh out of the shower. I'm still damp." His tone was slightly teasing, as if he guessed what she might be thinking and wanted to lead her into temptation.

"Wet Jack O'Neill with damp hair sticking up all over the place… yummmmy, you wicked tease. I've so gotta sort out the webcam!"

"That could get kinda x-rated, don't you think?"

"Getting x-rated would be pretty good right about now."

"Feeling horny, honey?"

Sam could picture him smirking in a self-satisfied sort of way, and grinned. "Maybe… how about you?"

"I might be persuaded..." he taunted, hearing her draw in a sharp breath.

"Right, so go for it, Jack - make love to me."

He beamed delightedly to himself as if this was what he'd wanted all along. Phone sex. Faking it could be a lot of fun. Sometimes the phone sex was borne from a desperation that separation brought on the couple, but this time it wasn't desperation so much as a simple need to feel intimate.

"I'd like that," he responded eagerly. In Jack and Sam language, her request meant he had to do most of the talking, concocting the lovemaking scenario and talking her through it as they did whatever they needed to do to satisfy themselves. They didn't do this often, but took considerable pleasure from it when they did.

"Okay, Mr. Scarecrow. I'm ready and waiting for you."

"Patience, Dorothy, patience." He thought for a moment before continuing, inspired by the shower, and the towel.

So, Jack devised a tale that would give her the wet, disheveled lover she craved. One in which he got home feeling horny as hell, but found her asleep on his bed, fully clothed. Frustrated that he couldn't make love to her as he desired, Jack took a shower, thinking he'd have to satisfy himself. Then, he changed his mind, stopping before it was too late, and determining to seduce her awake. He talked them both through their virtual lovemaking, from sensual start to climactic finish.

Afterward, when a gentle snoring sound told her that he'd dozed off on the other end of the line, Sam grinned indulgently, settling down to simply listen.

A long while later, she heard him stir. "Was that alright for you baby?" he asked blearily as if there's been no interruption, and then Sam heard him start, as if he had just realized what had happened. "Crap, I fell asleep!"

"You sure did," she replied with a slight titter in her tone.

"You should have shouted at me down the phone or something and woken me up." Jack sounded slightly irked, but Sam knew it was with himself, not her.

"Now, why on earth would I want to do that?" she relied smoothly. "It almost felt like you were lying next to me, like we really had just made love. I kind of liked that."

"Sam, babe…" he started in an apologetic manner. Then she heard him sigh, probably grasping what she had just said. "So it was okay?"

"The snoring or the virtual sex?" she asked with an attitude of innocence, and he growled at her because Jack knew she understood what he was asking perfectly well. "Seriously, Jack, it was good, really good."

"Why, thank you, ma'am," he responded in bright tone. "But, next time, it's your turn to do all the hard work and make love to me."

"I'd like that, my love. Maybe we could take a shower together, or have a bath." She conjured various scenarios in her mind, trying to imagine one they hadn't used before. "How about the SGC gateroom, right there in front of the whole command? Or in my lab, throwing everything off the table and getting right down to it, with me coming down on you. Or in the locker room, fulfilling that promising situation we got into all those years ago when we were both infected. I still kind of like that idea." Her voice was husky and seductive.

"Sam, stop! What is this? Phone sex maniacs are us?" he joked and she giggled appreciatively.

"Spoil sport. You're tired?" she asked and he grunted a response. "Another time?"

"You can count on that!" He paused and then snickered aloud. "The gate room? Really? Now I kind of like that little fantasy."

"Screwing on the ramp after a difficult mission? Or up against the wall?" she suggested.

"Right in front of the SFs? That would be one hell of a welcome home."

"I'll work on it," she promised.

"You do that - next time."

They both knew that the other was grinning like crazy at this bantering exchange. Jack appreciated and enjoyed the repartee with Sam because, these days, it came to them very freely and naturally. So, he would have loved to continue the chitchat but really was exhausted. Sam empathized. She'd had her fair share of days that left her feeling like that. Their consequent farewells were reluctant ones.

After hanging up, Jack decided he was hungry, pondering when he'd last eaten a meal at home instead of snacking in the Pentagon. Deciding he needed an intake of calories to ward off a grumbling stomach that might keep him awake, he swiftly pulled on his special lazing around the house jogging gear, hoping he wouldn't lie awake because he ate too soon before going to bed.

"Can't win. Need to eat," O'Neill muttered as he picked up the phone to call the local Chinese. Then he remembered that the other night when his poker friends came over, they'd had huge quantities of Chinese take-out delivered and some of it ended up in his refrigerator. So, he wandered down to the kitchen to check out whether it was still edible.

Take-out cartons littered his fridge, and Jack arched his eyebrows with surprise because he hadn't realized quite how much food they'd left. Perhaps he should have issued doggie bags to his guests. Picking out a carton, he opened it gingerly and peered inside, half expecting to find something that looked like the insides of an alien. It looked okay. He took a wary sniff, preparing his nose for an onslaught of distaste. It smelled okay. That had to mean it was okay, right?

Deciding he'd eaten far worse, Jack removed all of it from the refrigerator and spread it out over the kitchen table, digging into the cartons with a spoon and piling a plate high with various Chinese delicacies. Then he thrust it into the microwave to heat through, taking perverse pleasure from the fact that he could picture Sam doing the same thing with her cold congealed pasta, and grinning like a prize goofball.

An inspired thought occurred to him and he got his cell and called Sam, who was taken aback to hear from him so soon.

"Is your cold congealed pasta ready?" he asked.

"Just about to take it out of the microwave when you called," she replied, frowning into the phone thinking he'd gone nuts, calling to ask about her pasta.

"Feel like having dinner together tonight?"

When she realized his motives, Sam tittered appreciatively. "You're asking me on a date, General?" Jack grunted an affirmative. "You betchya, sir!"

So, the couple sat in their own homes to eat, phones on loud speaker by their sides, and munching on their totally different meals. Sometimes they chattered between mouthfuls and sometimes they remained silent as they chewed and pondered. The one constant throughout was that the pair were totally at ease with each other. By the end of their meals, they'd decided it was almost as good as a real date. Thus, a new Jack and Sam pastime was borne – pretending to be on a date while sharing a meal over the phone line.

Later in bed when his phone rang once again, Jack grumbled before picking it up, muttering something about why can't a man be allowed to get a good night's sleep? It wasn't the Pentagon with a crisis, as he had supposed, but Sam, and he realized it was intended to be one of their good night, hug in bed type calls. This was turning out to be akin to living in the same house. Not quite, but close enough for a couple of lovers who were separated by hundreds of miles.

Then she started talking about greeting each other in the gateroom after a difficult mission, and Jack smiled, settling down to listen. There's life in the old dog yet, he thought with a smirk. Yeahsureyabetchya…


	36. Never Alone: Cassie's Crisis

I am going on holiday (or vacation g ) in a few days and thought it would be good to post my latest chapter of Never Alone before I go - a little going away present for all you people who have been so patient with the sporadic postings of this series. I hope you enjoy it. Feedback always appreciated - Su

Never Alone 36: Cassie's Crisis

Category: Angst, Romance, Drama

Content Warnings: Mild language and sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Cassie/Other (Chris)

Season: 9/10

Spoilers: Small references to some episodes up to S9

Summary: Naturally, he didn't get it. He was a man. Or that was Cassandra Fraiser's considered and dismissive opinion of his viewpoint... It's human nature to be provocative, and occasionally to derive some pleasure from that.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

Author's Note: Thanks and many huggles to Barb for beta reading this story and pointing out the errors of my ways. Any remaining errors are entirely my own.

**Never Alone 36: Cassie's Crisis**

Not even trying to hide his amusement, Chris leaned nonchalantly against the wall eyeing Cassie, who was scattering the contents of her closet around the bedroom cursing. She did not appreciate his nonchalance, or his enjoyment, and Chris knew it. In fact, he realized that his casual and amused manner was probably irritating her in the extreme and raising her blood pressure to abnormally high levels. Chris, however, found the opportunity to make fun of her too good to miss.

Cassie Fraiser was normally a relatively laid back kind of person. Sure, she had her moments, and she could get overly enthusiastic, gushing and animated about certain subjects in the way young people can, or lose her cool about certain others. The contents of her closet, however, were not generally one of those subjects.

Clothes weren't something Cassie tended to worry about too much. This trait was one of the many attributes that had attracted Chris to her in the first place. She wasn't like most of the other women he knew. He had fallen for that difference, liking the way she had her own style without concerning herself with following trends.

It wasn't that she didn't get enthusiastic about clothes, she did, but her primary focus appeared to be on other people's clothing rather than her own. Take Sam's wedding dress, for example. Poor Chris had been heartily sick of hearing her enthuse about it when she returned from her trip to Colorado, along with her vividly detailed descriptions of her and Sam's shopping trips.

Shopping, women's clothing and the like are not normally topics that head a list of subjects men want to talk about. In fact, most men get bored rigid, wishing women would stop droning on about such issues and let them get on with watching baseball, or… whatever.

Now, here she was cursing the air blue while trying to find something suitable to wear for Jack and Sam's wedding reception. Chris didn't get it because he'd just assumed she would wear her bridesmaid's dress, which seemed fine, and darned sexy if you asked him. This was something else she had described to him in glorious, Technicolor detail, despite that he'd seen the photos Sam had sent before Cassie's last trip to Colorado. So, what was the problem?

Cassie, however, had decided she needed something special to wear; something to change into later when the time for wearing her bridesmaid's dress had passed. At first, her seemingly panicked reaction surprised Chris. He couldn't fathom it. Nor did he understand her desire to change clothing partway through the reception.

Naturally, he didn't get it. He was a man. Or that was Cassandra Fraiser's considered and dismissive opinion of his viewpoint. Venus and Mars - same old, same old, ad infinitum.

So, his ire mushroomed right alongside hers. Then, as she rejected and discarded more and more clothing randomly around the room, he began to take some pleasure from riling her further by letting go of his anger and stubbornly refusing to be provoked. He was certain that she found this irksome because who doesn't get irked when they want to pick a fight and no one takes the bait? Hence, his increasing glee.

Chris loved Cassie dearly, but he was as human as the next man and certainly no saint. It's human nature to be provocative, and occasionally to derive some pleasure from that.

"Stop it!" she exclaimed crossly with eyebrows furrowed into a scowl. Her eyes seemed to blaze with resentment.

"Stop what?" he asked with an innocent expression and tone that was inevitably going to annoy her even further.

"Stop-stop…" She waved her arms wildly in the air in an aggravated manner. "…IT!"

"Sweetheart, what have I done now?" His eyes widened in mocked puzzlement and Cassie hit him with a deadly glare.

"You know," she said angrily, and he dared to laugh, mainly at the baleful expression on her face. "Chris! You-you… you!" His laughter grew louder. "Stop standing there gawping and help, for crying out loud!"

"Hey, don't expect me to intervene between a woman and her closet. Why the hell don't you just buy something new if you haven't got anything you want to wear?"

"It's not a matter of having nothing I WANT to wear, it's that I haven't got anything to wear!" she cried in frustration. "And what about shoes?"

She stomped back over to the closet and started pulling out pairs of shoes with a vigor that Chris found hilarious. Pair after pair landed alongside the scattered clothing.

"You see," she exclaimed, indicating the shoes with another wild wave of her arm. "Nothing!"

"If you say so, Cass," he replied with a shrug, continuing his theme of studied nonchalance, but thinking that buying shoes was the one weakness Cassie had when it came to her closet. 'Women and shoes,' he thought. 'What's that all about?'

"What's that supposed to mean?" she retorted, her eyes mere slits in her head as if she believed the tightened look would focus her anger better. Maybe she thought she could knock him out with that malevolent glower, he thought. Chris, however, was not so easily daunted.

"I'm sure you're right if you say so, that's all. What do you think it means?" He replied, deliberately challenging.

"I don't know. I'm asking you!" she screeched in an exasperated manner. Her arms flew in the air in an exaggerated gesture and then landed on her hips as if she was about to scold him.

Another chuckle escaped his lips as Chris regarded her demeanor with a mixture of fondness and delight. Then it turned into a laugh and from that into a guffaw. Cassie's narrowed eyes pierced him menacingly for a while and anyone but Chris might have been pinned to the wall and cowering from that gaze. He simply returned the stare with a studious lack of concern. Then he thumbed his nose at her, poking out his tongue and crossing his eyes comically.

Chris noticed the edges of her lips start to turn up into a smile and realized she was beginning to see the funny side. She started to laugh and he looked at her warmly. She could never stay infuriated with him for long, and that seemed to be a mutual reaction.

Cassie caught her reflection in their full length mirror, rolling her eyes as if she was admonishing herself, and hastily removed her hands from her hips. The gesture reminded her of her mother, Janet Fraiser, when she was full flight reprimanding her about something or another, and Cassie tried not to dwell on the thought.

"Glad you see the funny side," he said with a smirk.

"No I don't," she replied in overstated truculence, but the laughter remained on her lips, which she then deliberately proceeded to sculpt into a pout.

"You so do," he replied, his tone that of a young child, but Cassie knew he was kidding around. He moved toward her, pulling her into his arms. "Come on, baby. I doubt Jack and Sam will mind what you wear as long as you're there."

The argument all but forgotten, Cassie gave him a hug and then looked up at him with a worried expression. "But I mind. I know you don't understand why I want another outfit, but I do."

"So buy one," he responded, refraining from voicing his thoughts about the bridesmaid's dress that he thought looked pretty cool – and hot!

The style of the dress was similar to Sam's wedding gown. It had narrow straps and hugged her waist and hips, flaring just below the hips. The skirt was unadorned with no embroidery and no buttons down the back. Its satin fabric was akin to the color of Air Force blue. Apparently, it amused Sam to have her bridesmaids dressed to match her husband to be, who would be wearing his dress blues. It seemed she thought it fitting.

"Maybe I will."

"And shoes," he reminded her with a grin, which she returned, simultaneously nodding agreement.

"And shoes, although I could wear the same pair I suppose."

"Whatever." Chris figured she would be happy to have an excuse to add to her collection, as if she needed one.

"You sound just like Uncle Jack," she replied, craning her neck to peck him on the cheek.

Chris chuckled. Being compared to Jack O'Neill was something he tended to consider as a compliment. "Flattery will get you anywhere, sweetheart."

She giggled and they snuggled closer, with Cassie burying her head into his chest. As he swayed her in his arms, her reference to O'Neill reminded Chris of the latest email missive from her "uncle" and his chuckle turned to a laugh.

"What?" she asked, sounding a little like the man herself and looking up at Chris suspiciously. Not wanting Cassie to think he was laughing at her again, his reply was prompt.

"Jack O'Neill's Handbook," he said and she smiled. "What was his latest? Learn…"

"…the rules so you know how to break them properly," she chimed in with a titter. Cassie loved how Jack occasionally came up with new 'life rules according to O'Neill' for the 'handbook' that had become something of a longstanding joke between them.

"Jack only breaks the rules selectively," she added, thinking his motivation for doing so erred towards saving Earth and the universe kind of activity rather than his own ass. In fact, much of his rule breaking had come close to killing him, she recalled, whereas he'd never been prepared to break them for personal gain, or so it seemed to her. The Frat Regs were only one such example. Sticking to those for so many years had come close to breaking his heart – Sam's too.

Of course, she couldn't tell Chris about any of this. She wished she could, and maybe one day she would be in a position to, but not yet. Cassie regretted any little white lies she had to concoct to continue keeping secrets from Chris: that there was life "out there"; that she was born on another planet; the Stargate program, and so much more. As Jack would say, if she told him she'd have to kill him and, as Uncle Teal'c might say, that would be most regrettable.

Cassie imagined Teal'c's deep voice speaking those words, and the serious but unperturbed expression on his face, and laughed aloud. Chris captured her eyes, smiling inanely. No doubt, he thought she was laughing about the handbook, and that suited her just fine.

"I kind of like his 'if the enemy is in range, so are you' rule," he said about another relatively recent addition to the handbook.

"Why's that?"

"I think about it almost every time we have a fight," he replied with a smirk. "I'll have to remember it next time you decide to throw a hissy fit about the contents of your closet."

Chris winked to ensure she knew he was kidding around, although during her panicked hunt for something to wear, a few items of clothing had hit him full on. Good thing she hadn't been in a bad mood about crockery, he thought, making an amused mental note to duck and run if that situation ever arose.

"So I'm the enemy now?" she queried lightheartedly.

"Sure… when we fight. I guess I should be grateful I'm not dodging bullets, like in a real war."

Jack had noted his sage advice came from an Infantry Journal, and Chris could see how it might be useful to bear it in mind in that context, but also got O'Neill's point about the notion being a life lesson.

"I'm not that bad," she claimed defensively and Chris reacted with a skeptical look.

"If you say so, honey," he agreed for the sake of the peace.

Cassie knew he was humoring her. If she was in a bad mood then everyone suffered, poor Chris most of all. She didn't get into one often, but when she did… boy, oh boy. Sometimes Chris had the patience of a saint, she thought, and he seemed to love her anyway, so she wasn't complaining.

She decided not to press the point, discretion being the better part of valor and all that – particularly now they were making up and canoodling.

"My personal favorite is probably 'never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake'. Wise words and very useful advice."

"Oh?" Chris regarded her curiously.

"Wise words of advice that brought us together," she explained, knowing that didn't explain it at all. Chris' puzzled expression confirmed her thought. "Remember Buttercup?"

Chris rolled his eyes at the mention of the woman Cassie had seemed to believe was a rival. "I'd rather not. She never stood a chance, Cass, not once I met you." He considered for a moment, remembering some of the conversations they'd had back then. It seemed a long time ago, but he thought he got her point. "I get it. You mean you let her dig her own grave, right?"

"That's exactly what I mean."

Cassie recalled telling Jack about Chris and Buttercup when she'd visited a while back, before she and Chris had got together. Buttercup never had been the most intelligent person she'd met, and Cassie had used that against her, letting her prattle on to Chris in her own dumb way and show her true colors.

Chris remembered it too, but he'd had no idea that Cassie had done it deliberately, hoping to win him over with brains rather than beauty. Buttercup certainly had been more beautiful than Cassie, Chris couldn't deny it, but that was all on the surface. In his eyes, Cassie was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. Inner beauty counted for a lot, and Buttercup had lacked that almost entirely.

"You sneaky little minx," he said with a chuckle. "In that case, Jack's to blame for us getting together - or I have to thank him. Which one, I wonder…" he added with feigned deliberation. Cassie simply grinned, kissing his neck and nestling into it.

"I'm sorry I got so grumpy," she mumbled.

He figured her mood had been way more than merely grumpy, and once again didn't voice his comment. Now they had made up, Chris had no desire to rekindle the fight.

"Making up is kinda… nice, don't ya think?" he asked.

"Mmmm…" she agreed, lifting her head. He took full advantage by pressing his lips against hers, and then deepening the kiss for a while. She responded by caressing his back with one hand. The other squeezed his ass, and Chris snickered.

Without conscious effort, his mind summoned a picture of the pair of them as an elderly couple - 30 years hence, maybe 40 - having a similar argument and making up in comparable fashion. Such images came to mind frequently. He knew it should bother him, but it didn't. The notion of still being with Cassie for all those years didn't perturb him in the least. Actually, he secretly liked the idea, and had admitted as much to Jack shortly after they'd first met, when her surrogate father had been trying to figure him out with his mental tally of pros and cons.

It had been a relief to Chris that Jack's pros list had been way longer than the cons, but he wasn't sure O'Neill had believed him when he declared plans to marry Cassie one day. Chris, on the other hand, had been deadly serious. Deep down, he'd known that early on in this relationship. Wasn't sure how he'd known, but he had.

He wasn't telling her though, or at least not yet. Cassie was young and needed to spread her wings before he clipped them. Chris didn't want her to feel tied down by him. She had brains and beauty, a glorious career and life ahead of her, and he did not intend to stifle any of it. Chris just hoped he didn't have to let her go to do it, but he would if that's what he had to do.

If he had but known it, this tendency toward self-sacrifice was a trait he had in common with her "Uncle" Jack, and Cassie would adore him even more for that. In Chris' case, however, this tendency was not something he'd been born with, as it seemed to be with Jack. Chris had been a selfish and vain creature before Cassie had walked into his life and turned it upside down. She brought out the best in him and he loved her very dearly for that.

"Feel like making up a bit more?" he asked and when she glanced at him, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. The mannerism reminded her of Jack and Cassie wondered if she subconsciously fell for Chris because of the similarities that she saw between them.

They say women fall in love with men that are like their fathers and, although Jack was not her dad, he was closer than anyone else. Daniel and Teal'c were more like favorite uncles and General Hammond like a grandpa. Cassie might call him Uncle Jack but he was the man she had adopted as a father. Jack, in return, had adopted her into the role of a daughter and both seemed content to play the parts.

She figured it had probably started from the day Jack had bought her a dog and told her it was an Earth rule that all human children had dogs. Cassie had believed that for a long time, just as she had believed other myths and stories he had created, like fathers have an inclination to do with their daughters.

The Colonel, as she lovingly dubbed the dog, much to Jack's amusement and delight, had been the best present ever. It seemed as if Jack had known that she needed a best friend and so gave her one and, no doubt, he had known.

She loved that dog dearly, and he was her friend when times were hard. Cassie's transition into life on Earth hadn't been an easy one and she had found the adjustment painful. Making friends had been difficult at first, as if other youngsters recognized her alien differences. The Toronto line her friends had taught her to use didn't always cut it. Toronto might have been different, but it wasn't an alien world that had little in common with Colorado Springs, USA.

Cassie made silly mistakes because she was unused to Earth culture, or nuances of language, and this made her stand out. Standing out wasn't something a gawky early teen normally wants to do. They want to fit in, be like everyone else.

So, The Colonel had made her feel happy when she might have been sad. She played with him for endless hours, taking him for walks and talking to him like a real person.

In the end, her uniqueness was what brought her friends and popularity, and what had ultimately attracted Chris to her. But before all of that, The Colonel had been her rock, although by taking her under their wings Janet, Jack and the rest had helped too.

She was devastated when, a few years later, they had to have The Colonel put down because he had cancer and was suffering. Another loss - more pain to deal with.

Jack had done his best to see her through it, supporting her mother's sympathetic consolations over the loss. Now, Cassie sometimes wondered who would have looked after The Colonel with her at college and her mother gone. She still missed him sometimes but probably couldn't have brought him with her to California, which would have been way too impractical. She could never have looked after him in the way a dog deserved.

There was a time when Cassie had wished Jack loved Janet so they would be together as her parents. It was a fond wish, but one she knew lacked any realistic prospect of fulfillment. She'd realized from early on that Jack and Sam had something special going on. It took her a long time to understand why they didn't do anything about it and, even then, their reticence never truly made much sense to her.

She had been expectant of something happening between them for years and couldn't believe it when Sam agreed to marry Pete, couldn't understand why she was even seeing Pete in the first place. Better to be lonely and alone than with the wrong man, right? A romantic notion, perhaps, but no less true for all that.

The engagement broke Cassie's heart and she was certain it had broken Uncle's Jack's too, although she knew him well enough to understand why he did nothing to stop it. He could have, easily she thought, but Jack believed he was doing what was right for Sam, what would make her happy. She hadn't expected him to grasp the reality. Jack had always been too self-deprecating to believe he was the right man for Sam, a trait Cassie thought cute, but that he had taken too far.

Then, after the engagement fell through and Jack moved to DC, he still didn't do anything about it. Cassie believed the longstanding dreams she had on behalf of her two favorite people in the whole universe would never amount to anything. However, Daniel managed to push them together at last, forcing Jack to make a move he knew his friend really wanted but lacked the courage to make. Cassie would forever be grateful to Daniel for that.

She loved Jack O'Neill very much and wanted him to be happy. Sam, too, of course, because Sam was her surrogate mother, now adopted sister, and Cassie loved her too, but Jack most of all. Cassie had observed him over the years and knew he carried burdens of pain that were beyond what any man should have to endure. He deserved happiness more than anyone else she knew, and she had high hopes that Sam would help him out on that score.

Any thoughts she had about the similarity between Jack and Chris were only fleeting as she considered Chris' question and nodded agreement. "Make up a bit more? And exactly what did you have in mind as a way of doing that?" she asked with a lascivious grin. "As if I didn't know."

"You got any objections?" he asked cheerily, nodding towards their bed. The sight of his eyes widening in horror made her look and then they turned to face each other with similar expressions of dismay on their faces before turning back to eye the devastation Cassie had wreaked on the room.

"Crap!" they exclaimed simultaneously, then both burst out laughing. It looked like a tornado had torn a path through their apartment, picking up everything in its wake and then casting it back down wherever it saw fit. The name of the tornado was Cassandra Fraiser.

"Awww!" she cried out in consternation. "Know anywhere I can buy a sack?"

Chris wrinkled his eyebrows in bewilderment at her question. "To throw the clothes in?" he asked.

"No, silly, to wear to Jack and Sam's reception," she whined. The pair exchanged looks at that and then broke out into laughter again.

"Screw the mess," he said. "Let's just find a pile of clothes to make love on, huh? We can clear it up later."

She grinned captivatingly. "You've got yourself a deal, mister."

In fact, they tossed the clothes off the bed to join their old companions on the floor. The devastation looked even worse, but at least they had a clear spot for making love unhindered by the uncomfortable prods and pokings of zippers or buttons. If anything was going to poke or prod either of them in sensitive places, at least they could ensure it would be one of them.

Cassie had never been entirely sure about the sex thing until she met Chris and he made love to her. She recalled Sam reluctantly revealing that Jack was hot in bed. Well, Chris was too. Scorching hot. So, he'd taught her how incredible sex could be, and had been patient with her inexperience.

Chris was very experienced; possibly too much so for a man of his tender years. He'd started young and never stopped, almost literally - apparently, he got himself laid as much and as often as he could get away with, which was often.

Women, both older and younger, found him attractive and sexy and almost fell over themselves to get into bed with him. Cassie imagined he'd be throwing one woman out as the next one arrived for their fill, and she wasn't too far off the mark. Sometimes he'd wouldn't have thrown the first woman out first, either, but charmed them both into bedding him at the same time.

Cassie figured he would have burned out young if he'd continued going on like that. But he had met her, and fallen in love. Lucky, lucky her!

So, that had been then and this was now; now being pretty darned fantastic as far as both of them were concerned. Cassie reaped the benefits of his experience and ability to teach, and Chris reaped the benefits of her inexperience and eagerness to learn. What he'd learned from her was how to love. That was a true gift, and something he'd never believed possible. No matter what happened to the two of them in the future, Chris would always love Cassie for teaching him that.

Sighing with satisfaction after their lovemaking, Cassie curled up close to Chris as his fingers teased her hair.

"Love you, Cass," he whispered in her ear and she drew her head away to look him in the eye and smile.

"Me too," she agreed and he grinned and pecked her on the forehead.

"Feel better now?" he asked

"You betchya."

He squeezed her gently, a contented smile on his face, but the next words that sprang to his lips indicated an irrepressible and irresistible impulse to be impish in nature.

"So, honey, what are you going to wear to the bachelorette party?" he asked with a smirk and wink and Cassie glared at him threateningly.

"Oh! You-you… incorrigible… you-you son of a…" she stammered, and Chris unsuccessfully pulled away in an attempt to avoid Cassie swatting him with the flat of her hand, chuckling to himself mischievously.


	37. Never Alone: Time for Teal'c

Title: Never Alone 37: Time for Teal'c

Content Warnings: None

Spoilers: Affinity

Summary: Daniel could not help thinking Teal'c would never be able to live a normal life on Earth. Nor would he ever look quite right in the tux with that large gold tattoo stamped on his forehead…

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2007 Su Freund

Author's Note: Many thanks to ImmerRDA for beta reading this story and pointing out the errors of my ways, my crazy use of UK English, and a couple of inspirations. Any remaining errors are entirely my own. Thanks also to all of those people who have been patient waiting for various chapters of this series to be posted, and continue reading it despite the sometimes long gaps between postings.

**Never Alone 37: Time for Teal'c**

Teal'c frowned, looking himself over in the mirror and then turning toward Daniel Jackson with a grimace. Daniel suppressed a snort of amusement at the expression on the Jaffa's face, coughing into his hand to hide his smirk.

"This is most uncomfortable, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said disgustedly, pulling at the tie around his neck and then at the buttons on his vest.

This coming from a man who had spent more than half his life dressed up in Jaffa armor? Daniel coughed again, wanting to laugh. He had to admit that Teal'c looked ill at ease. The notion of his friend dressed in a tux had not been nearly as funny, or disturbing, as the reality of witnessing him trying one on. He figured if only Teal'c could stop moving around as if he had ants in his pants, the warrior might look quite elegant.

This would be Teal'c's first traditional style Tauri wedding and he kept insisting he wanted to follow correct Tauri custom, which included his attire. Daniel suspected the big guy was still reeling from the notion that no animal sacrifices were required on the auspicious occasion of his friends' nuptials.

Earth has its own rituals, most of which don't faintly resemble those of his Jaffa brethren. Not in the West leastwise. Adjustment was hard for Teal'c even after all the years he'd been on Earth. He had never lived a normal life on his adopted planet and could pick up some weird notions from watching so much TV too, which made the adjustments that much harder.

The younger man thought his friend had done a good job in the circumstances and admired him for that. Daniel adapted to life on Abydos, but it had taken some time. However, he had lived amongst the people of Abydos and been married to one of them. Unlike Teal'c, he had not been restricted to a military base underneath a mountain most of the time. That was not in any way what Daniel would consider as normality, quite the reverse.

Unfortunately, Teal'c's one and only venture in living a regular life on Earth had turned into a disaster. He was not safe outside of the mountain when an organization like the Trust was running around, and the security issues had put an end to that little foray into normalness. Jack had tried his darnedest, but was overruled. Despite his high hopes for his Jaffa friend, even Jack had seen the sense of Teal'c's forced return to Cheyenne Mountain in the end; although he was disappointed and saddened it had to be like that.

Daniel could not help thinking Teal'c would never be able to live a normal life on Earth. Nor would he ever look quite right in the tux with that large gold tattoo stamped on his forehead. However, Sam was right in saying they couldn't except the man to wear a hat or a headband throughout the wedding and reception. It would look incongruous and would probably attract more attention than the tattoo.

Teal'c's friends had given some thought to how they would deal with his situation, particularly the tattoo, at the wedding. The four former team mates had discussed it in a vague kind of way on Jack's last trip to Colorado.

They had been chatting amiably in Sam's living room, their Chinese take-out due to arrive imminently. The TV hummed and flickered in the background waiting for the gathered friends to occupy the vacant slot in the DVD player with the movie they had agreed to watch that night. Daniel and Teal'c were comfortably ensconced in two of Sam's armchairs, while the bride and groom to be were sitting closely together on the couch. Jack had his arm draped around Sam's shoulders, while she cupped one of her hands over his on his lower thigh.

Teal'c asked a perfectly innocent question about suitable clothing for the wedding and this started the debate about how they might hide his tattoo.

"I know," Jack started jauntily, "we could wrap your head in bandages and tell people you've been in an accident."

Sam suppressed a laugh and was pleased she had when she noticed the look Teal'c shot at her fiance, who winced at the Jaffa warrior's responding glare. That kind of glower could strip paint off a wall.

Daniel waded in, unmindful of Teal'c's censure. "How about coming as an African friend of Jack's? People will think it's an obscure tribal thing," he suggested.

Teal'c eyed him balefully, although he realized Daniel was quite serious and genuine, unlike his friend O'Neill, who did not seem to treat the situation with the seriousness he thought it deserved.

"Yeah, you could wear Jaffa robes and people would think it a traditional costume," Jack said, freeing his hand from under Sam's. He reached forward to pick up his beer from the coffee table to take a long sip.

"It is a traditional costume," Teal'c replied in an acerbic manner.

"Not anywhere on this planet!" Jack retorted drolly.

Teal'c pointedly ignored his friend's dry wit. "I wish to follow Tauri tradition."

"Who the hell would ever choose to wear a suit?" the ever sarcastic Jack responded.

"And a tuxedo come to that," Daniel inserted.

"Even worse," Jack agreed.

"Daniel Jackson is wearing one, is he not? Why not I?"

"Teal'c, you'll hate a suit. You'd have to wear a tie and everything." Jack scowled. He'd wear jeans and a t-shirt if he could get away with it, but of course, he could not. "Wish I could wear Jaffa robes," he whined.

"I believe Colonel Carter would not approve," Teal'c said with a serious expression and Sam grinned, winking at him. She had made herself content with watching the three way ping pong match and was fairly certain Teal'c's reaction was slightly tongue in cheek. Catching her wink, Teal'c bowed his head almost imperceptibly, as if he was concurring with her conclusion.

Jack, meanwhile, couldn't decide if Teal'c was making fun of them or not. "Just kidding, T!" He turned toward Sam. "I am, honest!" he added, as if she had commented. Sam said nothing, merely smiling as if she had a secret he did not know, which baffled him.

"You have always possessed a most peculiar sense of humor, O'Neill. Singular, one might say," commented Teal'c.

Jack and Daniel exchanged amused glances, suppressing a laugh. Neither of them was at all sure that a Jaffa had any right to comment about human humor. Jaffa were not exactly famous for their sense of humor, although Teal'c had changed a lot during his years on Earth. He appreciated many human behaviors that he previously had not, including humor. Jeez, these days the man even cracked smiles without them appearing to be menacing. He looked human, but there was always that huge honkin' tattoo. It's the kind of thing that makes a guy stand out in a crowd.

"Pot and kettle," Jack retorted in amused self-defense. Teal'c merely arched an eyebrow, deciding to say nothing in response.

Thinking to get them some more drinks, and perhaps distract them from the subject at hand, Sam rose from the couch, approaching Teal'c with a smile and leaning over to kiss his forehead affectionately.

"Personally, I think you'll look great in a tux, Teal'c," she commented. "Hot, actually. And screw what people might think about the tattoo. Most of them will probably be too polite to say anything. We have a way more serious issue to contend with."

Having thrown that in out of the blue, the others waited for her to continue, but she didn't. "Drink anyone?" she asked instead, in her best chirpy tone.

"W-what do you mean a more serious issue?" Jack asked with concern, rising to the bait.

He had been thinking he hadn't realized how close Sam and Teal'c seemed to have grown, but Sam's throw away comment diverted him from the thought. Not that he was jealous or worried about it or anything, it was simply an observation, but he wondered how he had never really noticed it much before. O'Neill filed the notion away for future reference and concentrated on the current topic.

"Vala keeps hinting about being a bridesmaid and how wonderful that would be. Muttering comments about Earth customs and how we should let her participate in them more often," she explained.

A deadly silence descended and Sam eyed the men with amusement, trying to gauge their reactions. Teal'c raised his eyebrows in a gesture of faint surprise, although other than that he seemed as composed as ever. Daniel's mouth hung open and his wide eyes stared at her in horror. Jack, meanwhile, had a smirk on his face reminiscent of a naughty school boy caught in a mischievous thought. Sam loved that smirk, and was happy to have provoked it.

"Vala wants to be a bridesmaid?" Daniel asked as if he needed confirmation that his ears had not been deceiving him.

"I imagine she has raised the issue a number of times," Teal'c commented, a small smile appearing on his lips as if he remembered something, and probably he had. Vala could behave like a dog with a bone once she got her teeth into something.

"You've got that right, Teal'c," Sam agreed with rolling eyes, recalling the many times Vala had caught her alone to hint at it in her so very unsubtle way. "I'll leave you guys to ponder that one while I get drinks."

Having set the cat amongst the pigeons, she flounced out of the room with a wicked smile on her face. When she returned with a beer for Jack and cokes for the rest of them, the men were arguing the toss about Vala. Sam was pleased to have distracted them from the subject of Teal'c's tattoo. As she handed him his coke, the Jaffa looked up at her with a grateful smile and she winked at him again before joining Jack on the couch.

"If you give in to her you'll never hear the last of it," Daniel said to Sam with a frown.

"If I don't I won't either, so I can't win," she responded.

"You already have two adult bridesmaids, as well as your niece. Isn't that enough? Can't we tell her that three's the max or something?" Daniel asked, and Sam rolled that thought around in her mind, thinking they might just about manage to get away with such a ploy. Perhaps they could tell her people would frown upon the notion of four bridesmaids at the wedding of two people of her and Jack's age, although Sam did not really want to hurt Vala's feelings if she ever discovered the truth.

To be honest, Sam had absolutely no intention of allowing Vala to be a bridesmaid. She had simply used the subject to deflect the conversation away from Teal'c. She was not certain she would even invite her to the wedding at all, although wasn't sure she could, or even should, try to get away with that.

Vala had not been around at the SGC for that long but after all the crap she had been through with the Ori, however infuriating the woman could be, Sam had some sympathy with her. She had pulled their butts out of the fire more than once although, given what they knew about her background, each and every member of SG-1 had some doubts about her trustworthiness.

Sam did not yet consider the woman as a friend. Bridesmaids are meant to be friends, right? Or relatives, although Sam didn't have too many of them left. Her adopted family, compromised of the people sitting in her living room right now, along with Cassie, was closer to her than any of her blood kin.

Vala also had a knack of making trouble for them, not necessarily deliberately, but it often worked out that way. The last thing Sam needed at her wedding was Vala's kind of trouble.

Jack took her hand and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "I'm already visualizing the duct tape over her mouth," he whispered in a tone of sarcastic merriment, making Sam titter. No doubt, he was right about that. Vala was almost bound to put a foot in it, if not both of them. "But what do you think? It's your wedding, and they are your bridesmaids."

She smiled at him. "I might have chosen to have no bridesmaids at all if I hadn't known how disappointed Cassie and Betsy would have been."

"No bridesmaids at all?" he said with a look of surprise. "And I thought my future bride wanted the whole traditional wedding thing."

Sam squeezed his hand affectionately. "I guess I do, really, but arranging it all is a little bit like too much hard work. Mostly I just want to cut to the 'I dos'." Jack grinned shyly, amused that his workaholic wife to be considered the wedding arrangements hard work. Inwardly, he agreed with her sentiment about cutting to the chase. Both of them simply wanted to be man and wife. To some extent, the rest of it was theatre - an elaborate show. "I think I can live without Vala as a bridesmaid, though."

"That's settled then," he said, at which point the doorbell rang, signifying the arrival of their take-out, and the distraction of their chosen movie.

Later, on seeing their friends out, she briefly took Daniel to one side. "Can you take some time for Teal'c and help him with the tux?" she asked. Daniel nodded agreement, both amused and perturbed by the notion of taking Teal'c shopping for an appropriate rental.

"Sure, Sam," he agreed, removing a notebook from his pocket and jotting it down on the long list of reminders. Sam almost giggled, always amused by the fact he kept the notebook, and all the sticky notes she knew he had scattered around his house. "But what are we going to do about the tattoo?"

"You worry too much," she replied, squeezing his arm affectionately.

"About Vala…"

"I told you, you worry too much. I'll handle her."

So, this was how Daniel came to be in the rental shop with Teal'c as he tried on suits. They were opting for similar tuxedos if possible, charcoal grey with vests in a lighter hue. With Jack's agreement, Sam had opted for this color preference. Daniel made a quip about the main wedding party looking like Confederates and Yankees, all dressed up in blue and grey.

Sam bit her lip to suppress a snort and eyed him with a Teal'c like glare, promptly putting him in his place. Then she retorted that the Confederate Army wore light rather than charcoal grey uniforms. He declined to comment further, and she leaned into his ear to reveal she thought he would look fantastic in a grey tux.

Blushing to the roots of his hair, he stammered an inane response about grey sooo being his color. Sam grinned, pecking him on the cheek, and he realized she had been making fun of him with that fierce look.

Daniel had to admit that, although his Jaffa friend looked uncomfortable, the notion of Teal'c wearing the tux had grown on him since he had seen him wearing one. He was beginning to think his friend looked pretty cool.

When they had arrived, the sales assistant seemed slightly bemused, if not shaken, by the large, muscular and slightly threatening looking Jaffa. Daniel thought he probably believed Teal'c more suited to rapper style clothing, gold chains and all. The archeologist could not help but imagine Teal'c in that get up, which tickled his funny bone somewhat.

This reaction had the advantage of making the diminutive, effeminate salesman play avoidance. Instead of scurrying around making a fuss like he might have if Daniel had been alone, he mainly left the two men to their own devices. Occasionally he popped into the changing rooms to find out if they had made any decisions, and take them different suits to try. So far, they had tried on half a dozen and seemed to be no closer to making a decision.

"Jack should probably be here," Daniel said. "Doesn't he want any say in what his best man is going to wear?"

The comment distracted Teal'c from his discomfort and he eyed Daniel fondly. "You are nervous about the forthcoming nuptials, Daniel Jackson?" he asked.

"No, no, not nervous," Daniel replied with a frown, sighing. "Well, maybe a little."

"I have offered my assistance. What do you require?"

Teal'c rather liked the look of this particular suit and wondered if Daniel had any thoughts. He might feel slightly uncomfortable, but he would probably get used to wearing such attire. Teal'c had suffered many worse things in his life and simply wanted to ensure the wedding of his two friends went smoothly. He desired to do his best to fit in and keep his friends O'Neill and Samantha happy.

Daniel chuckled, some earlier thoughts coming to mind. "Think you could sneak a zat out of the SGC?" he asked humorously. Not having been privy to Daniel's thoughts around Jack's increasingly nervous disposition as the day drew closer, Teal'c did not get the joke and looked slightly puzzled.

"A Zat'n'ktel?" he queried curiously, wondering why Daniel would want such a weapon at a wedding. "Will the guests be armed, Daniel Jackson?"

"Oh, just kidding, Teal'c," Daniel replied, trying not to laugh. "I figured Jack might get a bit edgy and I could probably do with some help to control his jitters."

"A zat might indeed be the answer," Teal'c said with a small smirk, and the two men chuckled in contemplation. Sitting down to try out the tux in that position, Teal'c shuffled a little in the chair, trying to get more comfy. "I will be there in case my services are required," he promised, "but if there is anything else…"

"Thanks, old buddy," Daniel said in genuine appreciation of the offer. Perhaps he could find some suitable tasks for Teal'c and he decided to ponder the offer with the aid of his little notebook as a reminder of what still needed organization or completion. "I'll let you know, but helping me deal with Jack at his bachelor party and leading up to the wedding will be a great help."

Teal'c bowed his head in acknowledgement. "Do you believe O'Neill and Samantha are happy together?" he asked and Daniel shot him a surprised glance.

"Sure they are. They're going make a great team, Teal'c. Can't you tell?"

Not wanting to reveal his concerns, which sprang from Sam's confidences in him when the pair was going through a difficult time, Teal'c smiled.

"I have no doubt you are correct, Daniel Jackson."

"But you asked. You must have a reason." His eyebrows furrowed together with a look of concern and curiosity.

"Tauri behavior is difficult to fathom," Teal'c relied mysteriously, hoping the comment was sufficient to steer Daniel away and wishing he had never asked. He simply needed some confirmation of his own thoughts and had no desire to confide in the younger man.

Colonel Carter herself had reassured him that everything was fine between them, but he had not been certain whether she was hiding something. Teal'c knew she might have been concerned about his reaction to O'Neill when they met for the first time since her confession about her fiance's abhorrent behavior toward her many weeks before.

When Teal'c arrived at her house for their last team film and take-out night, he had to admit it had crossed his mind to have some quiet words with O'Neill about what she had revealed - perhaps a warning about the unpleasant consequences should he hear his friend mistreated Colonel Carter in any way.

However, Teal'c could not imagine this happening. Indeed, he had been surprised his friend O'Neill had hurt her feelings in such a way as this was not like him. Even while Samantha and he had discussed the matter, they had both agreed what had happened in Chicago was an aberration and that she could trust O'Neill. Nevertheless, he had continued to ponder and be concerned, ready to defend her honor if necessary.

O'Neill might be his friend too, but he had wronged Samantha and Teal'c felt he should not have allowed O'Neill to get away with that. He had only done so at her request, demurring to her inclination toward forgiveness. If she wronged O'Neill, he might feel similarly defensive; although he had no doubt he would stop short of the physical violence he felt O'Neill had probably deserved.

So, when he arrived at her house with Daniel Jackson, he was ready to confront O'Neill if necessary, despite knowing Sam's feelings about the matter. As they had not spoken privately about the subject of late, he had decided to ask if he got a chance to speak to her alone.

As luck would have it, she answered the door and Daniel bounded on ahead to join Jack in the living room, leaving the pair alone. Teal'c bowed low to Sam, a gesture of respect and, when he raised his head, took her hand and kissed it, a smile on his face.

"Good to see you too, Teal'c," Sam said, returning his smile with a broad grin.

"You are well, Samantha?" he asked as if he did not see her virtually every day. Teal'c's use of her first name when they had moments alone was getting to be something of a habit, and Sam kind of liked it. There seemed to be a secret pact between them, something special.

"I'm very well, thank you Teal'c. Come!" Ushering him in, Sam took his arm in hers and led him along the hall. "So," she whispered conspiratorially, "am I marrying the wrong guy?" She winked.

"Indeed," he replied, his smile mocking, "But I gave up trying to win your heart many years ago, Samantha. It was already taken."

She paused in her stride and he stopped alongside her, turning to search her face for any clues. "That's nice, Teal'c," she said with a smile.

Given the opportunity, he bit the bullet straightaway. "You have not visited me in my quarters for a considerable time, Samantha. Are things well between you and O'Neill?"

Taken aback by his bluntness, she nodded, grateful for his concern and squeezing his arm affectionately. Sam understood what had inspired both his unease and the question.

"We're great Teal'c. We are, really." Uncertain whether those words were truly reassuring as they sounded a little like one of Jack's "I'm fine" type utterances, which often begged more questions, she pressed on. "We've talked, sorted everything out. I should have come to see you, told you."

"Indeed," he concurred. "I have been reluctant to raise the matter."

"I'm sorry. The wedding arrangements have taken up so much of my spare time, and I don't get much of that anyway."

"I am aware," he replied, not wishing her to feel guilty when he knew she already had a lot on her mind. Tauri weddings seemed to Teal'c to be unnecessarily complicated, but he accepted such custom with sanguinity.

"I'll drop by to your room to see you soon, I swear. We'll talk."

"Or not."

Sam grinned at his response. They had spent many an hour in his room saying very little. Frequently, simply being in the company of the stoic but comforting Jaffa warrior was enough.

"Don't worry about us, Teal'c," she said. "I'm happy. We both are. After we went to Chicago together… we've been good. Very good. So, this isn't a mistake, I promise. He has his faults, but Jack is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I love him and I know he loves me very much. His heart is true."

"Your feelings about the matter are in accord with what I believe at heart, Samantha, and I will satisfy myself with that for now," he responded with an inclination of his head. "We should join the others before they wonder what has become of us."

"Indeed," she said in one of her impersonations of his tone and he smiled warmly, encouraged by her attitude.

Teal'c's observations of the couple that night had confirmed his thoughts, and her reassurances about the strength of their relationship. They had, indeed, seemed happy with each other, small gestures of their togetherness, faith and love very apparent in their behavior.

He was of the opinion that the pair could weather many storms because they had already borne so much side by side, albeit that the relationship was not one of a CO and subordinate anymore; far from it. The pair had faced death and worse, challenged it together and won the battles. Those years of supporting each other and deep mutual trust had served to bring them closer.

Nevertheless, Teal'c was grateful for confirmation of his thoughts from a third party. Noting Daniel's furrowed brow and look of concern, he decided to deflect him further from the subject.

"I believe this attire will suffice, Daniel Jackson," he claimed and Daniel regarded his friend, looking him up and down. He appeared way more relaxed and comfortable than he had earlier. After all his concerns about choosing a tux with Teal'c, Daniel was pleased he had set some time aside to help his friend - so worth it.

Patting the big Jaffa on the shoulder, Daniel smiled and nodded his head in agreement. "So do I, Teal'c, so do I."


	38. Never Alone: So Not Fair!

Never Alone 38: So Not Fair

Title: Never Alone 38: So Not Fair!

Category: Angst/Romance

Content Warnings: Mild language and reference to sexual situations

Spoilers: None

Summary: Jack's bachelor party seems to be going wonderfully for everyone - except Jack!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's Notes:

1. I owe anyone still reading this, abject apologies for not posting any chapters in an age. Recently a few people have asked me what has happened to this series and whether I intend to complete it. The answer is, yes I will complete it. I would never willingly leave a series incomplete unless something awful happened to me!

So, I am sorry I have kept you all waiting for so long. Progress with the series came to a standstill because of a combination of RL issues and what seems to have been an extended vacation taken by my Never Alone muse. Naughty, naughty muse! But never fear. She seems to have returned - at least for now!

Thanks to those of you who asked about the series. I think your encouragement enticed my Never Alone muse out of hiding, lol, which just goes to prove the power of that pesky nagging thing! rolls eyes

2. Many thanks and huggles to my beta reader, ImmerRDA, who patiently read through this and made many helpful suggestions and corrections. I know for sure that this chapter is better than my original draft thanks to her efforts. Nevertheless, any remaining mistakes are entirely my own.

**Never Alone 38: ****So Not Fair!**

'Life sucks!'

These words briefly flitted through Jack's head as he took another sip of beer and surveyed the carnage around him with an amused eye. Sure, he was enjoying himself, but he had expected to get a little drunker than this. So not fair!

Jack had been drinking all night and kept thinking another one would tip him over the edge. It never seemed to. That was kind of irksome. Tonight was his bachelor party – his final fling as a free man so they say - and he should be getting drunk as the proverbial skunk!

He was not entirely sure why skunks got this odd reputation for drinking. What was it with that expression? Was getting wasted something skunks did on a regular basis? If so, Jack figured he should be lying in a gutter right alongside a surfeit of them on tonight of all nights. Surfeit of skunks. That was another thing. Who the hell dreamed up that collective noun for skunks for crying out loud? A surfeit? What was it with that?

"These and other profound thoughts of General Jack O'Neill will be coming to a bar near you soon," he muttered to himself. Jack sighed, thinking he might as well have been drinking soda for all the difference it made. He was feeling incredibly clear-headed. Sheesh!

"So not fair," he muttered aloud. Everyone else was tanked, so why not him? This was his party, damn it.

That was the sucking part of the night. The amusing part was watching everyone else get crocked.

Daniel was out of it, of course, although he had vowed he would remain stone cold sober so he could look after a pie-eyed Jack. This was what a best man should do for the soon to be groom and Daniel should know because he had boned up on the rules of best mandom. It seemed to Jack, however, that the shoe would be on the other foot with him taking care of Daniel. It didn't take much alcohol to make his friend woozy, and not a lot more to get him totally stoned.

Right now, he was in one of those totally stoned phases. Daniel was currently regaling anyone he could pin down with stories about the great archeological digs he had known. Some people might normally find such a subject a little bit dry and dull, but not when Daniel was juiced.

Once he passed through the solemn philosophical stage of drunkenness his sense of humor shot into the stratosphere. Then, the man could take a darned good laugh at himself. Laughing at oneself helps when it comes to being entertaining. Sometimes Daniel could take himself far too seriously. Jack loved the guy but really… way, way too seriously.

Thankfully, his friend had not yet reached the maudlin stage of drunkenness. Jack figured it could come soon but hoped Daniel would skip it and move straight on to the comatose phase. When Daniel got maudlin drunk he became extremely over-emotional and mushy. Not a pretty sight.

Teal'c, bless his large cotton socks, was more sober than Jack. Hardly surprising given he did not drink alcohol. At present, his Jaffa friend was in animated conversation with Siler. Siler was the animated one. Teal'c was nodding, but his expression said little. Jack wondered what Siler was getting so enthusiastic about. Large wrenches, maybe. He laughed to himself at the notion of a conversation centered on large wrenches but was not curious enough to get off his butt and go find out what they were really discussing.

Jack figured he and T were probably the soberest people in the room. George Hammond looked the worse for wear and Mitchell was laughing his ass off at something Daniel had just said and surely also had to be drunk. Hank did not seem to be too bad. He probably thought he should keep a straight head in front of so many of his subordinates.

Then there were the rest of them from the SGC. Ferretti, Reynolds, Dixon, Walter, old Doc Lee. Old Doc Lee? Since when had he started thinking of the geek as Old Doc Lee, he wondered? Sheesh! The list of SGC folk went on and not even one of them was sober. There were so many of them that, if Jack had not already known, he would have wondered who was back at the mountain holding the fort. Almost inevitably, his party occupied the whole bar.

Earlier, Ferretti had started some of the guys off with a few rousing songs. The kinds of songs that turn the air blue and, as the singing continued, it was getting bluer by the minute. Tuneless and overly loud. Like a cacophony of cats in heat.

To Jack's amusement his future brother-in-law, Mark, joined in with the Ferretti led singsong. Jack had never figured Mark as the kind of guy who would get rowdy, let alone sing along with songs of an extremely blue variety. Just goes to show how wrong you can be. Jack thought Jacob would have enjoyed this night, discordantly singing with his son. It was a shame he had not lived to be here. Jack missed the old guy.

Mark had warmed to Jack in a big way since their trip to San Diego those many months before. Maybe he had simply resigned himself to the notion that his sister was military, was marrying into the military and would probably have her own military brats if Jack and Sam ever got around to having kids. Or maybe Jack had charmed him while the couple was there. In reality, it was both.

In a few days time, Mark would walk his sister down the aisle, replacing the father they had both lost. That seemed to please Sam, so it pleased Jack too. Whatever made her happy on their wedding day was fine by him. Happily ever after, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Of course, Jack was essentially a pragmatist, despite the romantic leanings that sometimes made a guest appearance. More frequently these days than they had for a while, admittedly, but he still knew happily ever after was a crock. Unhappy was bound to creep in sometimes. Without the unhappy, you could not fully appreciate the happy. Just like the two sides of a coin, like good and evil.

Briefly, he wondered if he should add that rule to Cassie's Jack O'Neill Handbook, but realized he probably did not need to. She knew it already. Everyone did, right? Or was he just a cynical old bastard?

Yeah, sure he was cynical. He had good reason to be. Live long enough, see life through the eyes of Jack O'Neill, and skepticism is certain to thrive. But at Jack's core sprang hope, optimism and a lust for life. Without that, he - and half the human race now that he thought about it - would probably have been dead already.

On the whole, life was good. He had Sam, a ray of sunshine in his life. A terrible cliche, he knew, but true nonetheless. He had good health. Well mainly good. There were the knees and the back and a whole catalog of odd twinges, but he felt pretty good most of the time. There was his work. Being mostly desk bound was not his idea of perfection, but he could still play his part in protecting and saving Earth and the universe. That never got old.

Then there were his friends. Many of them here in this bar right now. One bunch was carousing while another sat in rapt attention listening to Daniel Jackson and laughing themselves silly. Even more were scattered around in small groups doing heaven knows what.

Having had enough of introspection – it was his bachelor party after all, not really a suitable time for navel gazing - Jack thought he ought to get up and make an effort to go circulate a little bit more. At the very moment he considered it, however, he felt a thump on his shoulder.

Turning, he smiled in greeting at Teal'c, who had obviously extricated himself from Siler's over enthusiasm for gigantic wrenches without Jack noticing.

"Hey, T!" Jack exclaimed jubilantly. Getting up, he gave the Jaffa a friendly hug, not really noticing that he wobbled as he rose to his feet. Because of course, Jack was not drunk. He was entirely sober. Or so he believed. Belief and reality, however, are often two totally separate things. "Glad you wandered over. Sit down." Slightly off balance, he almost fell rather than sat back in his chair.

"How are you O'Neill?" Teal'c replied evenly, taking his friend's state of inebriation in his stride.

Jack merely grinned inanely in response to his friend's question. "You haven't got a drink old buddy," he declared. "What's your poison? Coke? OJ?" Jack's words were slightly slurred, but he did not notice. He moved to get up again, thinking he would go to the bar to buy Teal'c a drink, but his friend gently encouraged him to sit back down.

"You appear to be somewhat unsteady on your feet, O'Neill," he commented with a small amused smirk. He had never seen O'Neill in this overly intoxicated state before. Sure, Teal'c had been in his company when he had been drinking, but never like this. Probably because Jack rarely drank as much as this.

"Whatchya talking about, unsteady? Sober as a judge, that's me."

"Sober as a judge?" Teal'c queried with a puzzled look. "If judges are indeed sober, then I imagine at this moment you are not akin to one of them." Jack pouted in that child like manner he had a habit of using, and Teal'c decided it was not his place to disillusion the man about his current levels of inebriation.

"Perhaps I may purchase an alcoholic beverage for you, O'Neill?" he asked, moving swiftly away from the apparently touchy subject of drunkenness.

"I'm fine. Got all these," Jack said, grinning gleefully and indicating an array of drinks sitting on the table in front of him. "Folks just keep buying 'em. Sweet!"

A solitary eyebrow arched toward the ceiling as Teal'c regarded the so far untouched drinks his friends had lined up for O'Neill. The Jaffa was aware his friend had a large capacity for alcohol but, by the time he drank the numerous assortment of beverages on the table, he believed O'Neill might end up passed out under it. He was not knowledgeable enough about alcohol intake to realize that, by all rights, from the number of drinks he'd had already O'Neill should have passed out under the table well before now.

The two men sat in sociable silence for a while, watching the festivities. No one seemed to notice they were not joining in but simply observing. Then Teal'c turned back to face O'Neill and spoke again.

"It is about time," he said. At first, Jack did not catch-on to what he was referring to, particularly as the phrase seemed a tad on the colloquial side for his Jaffa buddy. He frowned, creasing his forehead with lines of puzzlement. Then he realized.

"You mean getting married?" he queried to be certain he had drawn the right conclusion. Teal'c was not the first person who had said something similar. Doubtless, he would not be the last.

"Indeed. To what else would I be referring?"

"Dunno," Jack replied with a small shrug.

"Are you nervous, O'Neill?" Teal'c queried after a lengthy pause.

Initially, Jack said nothing, taking a sip of one of his beers. "Yeah, I guess," he answered eventually. He could count on the fingers of one hand the number of other people he would have admitted that to. Daniel, Jimmy, Sam… very few others.

"But no regrets?"

"Not about marrying Sam, no. Many others, yes," Jack retorted with a grin. Teal'c returned the smile.

"She is a good woman," he said.

"She's terrific." Jack was smiling and nodding in enthusiastic agreement, further amusing his ex-team mate.

"Indeed."

It was the kind of exchange the pair might have had sitting on the banks of a river on an early sunny morning, their rods dripping with bait to hook a fish. The two men took moments of peaceful comfort seriously and Jack regretted that his friend was averse to fishing. As far as he was concerned, this was what fishing was all about. He would have enjoyed more similar exchanges and moments of quietude with Teal'c in that kind of environment. The Jaffa warrior had never understood that. But he did understand all about peace and silence. He understood it very well indeed.

"I hope I can make it work," Jack mumbled. Teal'c appreciated those flashes of self-doubt. Pre-wedding jitters. Inevitable. The Jaffa might not be human, but that did not mean he lacked human emotion and empathy. In fact, he empathized with O'Neill about a great many things. In a lot of respects, the old friends were alike despite their very different roots.

"It takes two." Small words of wisdom.

"Yeah," Jack agreed.

"You will both make it work."

Jack nodded, a wistful expression on his face. "Yeah."

"You will be fine. An excellent couple."

"Sure. We'll be great." Jack winked and Teal'c grinned.

After that, the two men did not talk much, and Jack turned his attention back to his other friends and smiled inwardly. There were a lot of people there, lots of friends. It was only now he was beginning to realize he had so many. This was the tip of the iceberg and pretty tame in comparison to the stag party Jimmy arranged before he left DC. When those Pentagon types let their hair down, they could be really wild. He chuckled at the thought.

Some of those DC folks would make it for the wedding, but the nuptials were a few days off and not everyone could get away for that length of time. Therefore, Jimmy declared that Jack should have two stag parties; one in DC and one in the Springs. Jack had definitely been drunk at the other one, which had been a bit of a riot. Of course it had – Jimmy had organized it.

Jack's commanding officer, General Henry 'Wily Old' Fox, stayed sober all night, probably for pretty much the same reasons Landry did now. Wily was a good CO and ally. Sam's old friendship and 'adoption' by the Fox family did not hurt. Nor did Gladys Fox's always generous and gracious support. But it was way more than that these days. Generals Fox and O'Neill had become quite a team.

Fox was influential at the Pentagon. A force to be reckoned with. Subordinates crossed him at their peril, and kissed ass, while contemporaries respected him and listened to what he had to say. He also had the ears of his superiors. The general's nickname was not "Wily Old Fox" simply because of his surname. The connection greatly simplified Jack's life at the Pentagon.

Jack, however, did not have ass kissing ulterior motives for inviting his CO to his bachelor party in DC. He happened to like the guy. For a while, his wife had been like a substitute mom for Sam after her mother died. Fox was like an uncle or something so, these days, Jack was almost part of the family.

All his poker night buddies had been there that night too, of course. This group included Jimmy's now wife Jane, who insisted she was one of the guys despite her gender. With the occasional exception of Sam, she was the only woman privileged enough to attend those special poker nights in DC. Thus, Jack could not help but agree and he overruled Jimmy's decision to exclude her merely on the basis of her sex.

Jane promised she would not cramp her husband's style and get in the way of any male type activities he had planned. She was as good as her word, even when the overly endowed stripper arrived, even when they walked into the topless pole dancing bar. Jane was every bit as riotous as the men folk.

It was the kind of bachelor party a man is supposed to have. Getting drunk and ogling naked or semi-naked women as a final fling before tying the knot. Yeah, that night Jack got very drunk indeed. It was a typical Jimmy type night, the kind of night they held for his stag do - and the kind of night you remember, assuming you remembered anything at all. Jack remembered it all. Fun, and not that similar to tonight in many ways. One stag party like Jimmy's was more than enough.

Not that tonight was not fun, of course. It was simply fun in a different way. In a more Daniel Jackson kind of way. After all, Daniel had organized it. Tamer. No naked ladies, or at least so far. Jack was happy with that. The only naked lady he was genuinely interested in was Sam Carter. Soon to be Mrs O'Neill. Very soon.

Daniel was there in DC that night too. Jimmy found him sleeping in a corner of one of the bars they rolled into - a dead weight that Jack's old friend had to carry and dump in the back of a car so they did not leave him behind by accident. When they dropped him off at Francine's at some ungodly hour in the morning, she had laughed so hard her sides ached.

She did not seem to mind being woken up at that unearthly hour one little bit. Typical Francine. A good woman. She knew if she gave Daniel enough rope he would hang himself with it, so was not big on needless restrictions to his activities or timekeeping. Suffice to say, Daniel did not stir. Not even a flicker of an eyelid.

Jack himself had dozed off on the way home and woke up when Jimmy tried to bundle him out of the car and into his house. Many of his friends simply crashed at his place, which was groaning with people next morning. Groaning with groaning people, in fact. Jack remembered joking about that at one point and laughing himself silly at his own absurd humor. It had been quite a night and they all suffered for their enjoyment of it.

He figured Jimmy needed to organize that night out to compensate for not being involved in the wedding as his best man. He realized it was tough on Jimmy when he asked Daniel to undertake that role. It had been tough for Jack too. Jimmy was an old and dear friend, albeit that they had lost contact for a few years until Jack moved to DC.

The two men were very close and had been for many years before he had ever met Daniel. Different as chalk and cheese in many ways, just like Jack and Daniel, but this could sometimes be a good thing in a close friend, he thought.

Jack lost touch with way too many of his old friends after Charlie died and he split up with Sara. They were an anathema to him during that dark period in his life - too much sympathy and probably too much of almost everything else. He could not face those friends who knew of him as a husband and father to those loved ones he had lost. It was too painful, and Jack did not seek the compassion or support they might have provided. Totally the opposite. For one thing, he did not believe he deserved it.

He was also a man who tended to prefer to lick his wounds in private. Perhaps he had changed a little since those days, mainly because of Daniel and Sam's influence, and the new lease of life provided by the SGC. But he still had that tendency, even though he tried his best for Sam's sake, and for the longer term health of their relationship.

Now, Jack was pleased he had met up with Jimmy again. He had missed him.

Back in DC, the pair sought each other's company when they could. Their relationship was such that the rift Jack had once created might never have happened. He was grateful to find a true friend in that place when he had felt so isolated after his transfer from Colorado Springs. Jimmy forgave Jack for pushing him away. He never even referred to it.

Of course, these days, the two men were also business partners. Jack's financial contribution had helped Jimmy fulfill a dream – to open his own restaurant in DC rather than working in someone else's. It was still early days, but both men hoped to profit from that partnership, with Jack silently in the background supporting Jimmy's work at front and center of the business.

The men, therefore, had many reasons to be grateful to each other. They had been through a lot together. Served together. Faced possible death together. Worked, rested and played together. But then so had Daniel and Jack.

Consequently, selecting his best man from these two friends could have been a tough choice for Jack. He might have inadvertently hurt either of them through not asking, and either of them could have fulfilled the role. They both held a special place in Jack's heart. In the end, however, the choice was also simple. Daniel was the right man for the job, and Jack had made him very happy by asking.

As he watched Daniel now, merrily and drunkenly joining in the fun, Jack smiled indulgently. Definitely the right choice, he thought. Daniel had earned his dubious honor as best man. Jack was alive in many more ways than one because of him. From that first fateful trip to Abydos right up to today. They disagreed frequently, got on each other's nerves, and were such totally different kinds of men. Nonetheless, without him Jack would not have been here tonight and about to fulfill one of his own dreams – marrying Sam.

He turned to Teal'c, wordlessly indicating his desire to get off his butt and circulate again, at last. The Jaffa inclined his head in acknowledgement and Jack moved away, making the rounds of the various groups in the bar until, eventually, his tuneless baritone became an additional voice in the raucous choir of his friends and comrades in arms.

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Sam was awake. She knew Jack was likely to be back very late, but also that when he returned it would probably be with a bang rather than a whimper. Bachelor parties tend to do that to any man, and Jack as the groom was certain to be smashed and make one heck of a noise staggering into the house.

She took the opportunity of his absence to catch-up, sitting in the living room with her laptop in front of her and pouring over project notes. Sam knew this might be her last chance to do so before the wedding. The next night it was her turn to celebrate her final days of freedom with some of her friends. Betsy and Francine would be travelling together from DC in the early morning, and Gladys Fox would arrive later in the day, as would some other old friends.

Jo, her sister-in-law, was already in Colorado Springs with Mark and the kids, and they had spent some time together earlier. Cassie would miss it, just as Chris was missing Jack's party tonight. Disappointing, sure, but the timing had to be off for someone, Sam supposed. Cassie and Chris had important stuff to do in college. The four of them would have their own little pre-nuptial get together when the pair arrived in a couple of days, and Sam looked forward to that. Jack and Sam treasured any time spent with Cassie and Chris.

Sam doubted the bachelorette plans would be as wild as whatever Jack was doing right now. Knowing Daniel, who had organized this bachelor party, tonight's revelry would be subdued in comparison to the festivities Jimmy had arranged in DC. She did not figure Daniel as a stripper kind of guy, whereas Jimmy almost certainly was.

So far, Sam did not have any clue about the details of that DC bachelor party. Jack was playing coy about the night's activities, which despite being a fifty plus year old man kind of suited him, she thought, smiling at the memory of the O'Neill bashful style demeanor. He would probably reveal all eventually, but Sam figured Jimmy would have organized some very risque activities because he was, after all, Jimmy.

However, Daniel had hidden depths she was not entirely sure she would ever fathom, so perhaps she was wrong about tonight being tamer than those DC based festivities. Almost anything seemed to go on these male only, pre-nuptial, nights out.

No, her plans for the next night were not of the getting totally out of it variety. She figured Vala and some of the SGC crew might have a thing or two to say about that, but it was her night, not theirs. Sam planned a long drawn out meal in a good restaurant, followed by a classy nightclub. Things might get out of control at that point and, if they did, they did.

Sam and Betsy had discussed the plans at length, devising all kinds of permutations for doing something a little bit different, including the idea of a full weekend away. In the end, though, the current plan was what they had agreed. There were practicalities to consider and time was a factor, both Sam's and that of the friends she wanted to invite.

Cassie and Chris were the only people who could not fit in with either Jack or Sam's plans. They would have changed them to ensure the couple could make it but if they did that, it screwed too many other people up. Annoying twists of fate. So be it.

She was enjoying the empty house. The silence was peaceful, and she would feel better if she got this project out of the way before the wedding. Although if she did not, Sam was not going to let the loose ends spoil her wedding day or honeymoon. Jack still kept those vacation plans under wraps, simply telling her the kinds of things she might need to buy or pack.

From that, she discerned they were heading for somewhere warm. That suited Sam just fine. She had spent a small fortune on new clothes – underwear, bikinis, t-shirts, shorts, and a few hot little outfits she kept hidden from Jack so she could surprise him. Something for almost any plans he might have made.

The packing was already complete. New luggage, new handbag, with passport just in case. She was ready, more than ready.

Getting married. Oh my! Not simply getting married, but marrying the man she loved so deeply she could never begin to describe the emotions he provoked in her.

She was finally going to take the plunge. After two abortive attempts. Third time lucky, she thought, giggling to herself about what popped into her head at that moment. She pictured a scene from the movie, Alien. Lucky star. Ripley in her spacesuit, facing up to her foe, scared but determined to beat the evil alien monster. Lucky, lucky, lucky. She imagined walking down the aisle on Mark's arm, repeating it over to herself. Trying to quash her terror just as Ripley had done.

Ridiculous! One can't walk down the aisle picturing scenes from Alien, for crying out loud! Sam laughed. Now she was almost certain to think of it. Oh, hell!

She sighed, thinking she had probably done enough with the project notes so someone else could pick them up if they needed to in her absence. Jack and Sam had made it very clear that, unless alien spacecraft were actually orbiting Earth about to attack, they were not to be disturbed on their honeymoon.

If the world fell apart without them around for a couple of weeks then they might as well pack up and surrender right now. They were not indispensible, however much it might be nice to con themselves into believing they were. The Stargate Program would carry on without them and they would have a perfect honeymoon. At least, that was what she hoped.

To be honest, Sam did not much care about where they were headed, as long as they were together. She could rely on Jack to have planned something she would enjoy, even if was only a luxury bedroom they could spend all day in having great sex. A bedroom with first-rate room service.

Sam chuckled aloud and could feel her face flushing at the idea. She figured Jack would quite like the thought, and her reaction to it, but knew he would have planned way more than that.

She put the laptop to one side and stretched out on the couch, closing her eyes for just a moment and luxuriating in the silence. Sam thought she might have drifted off a little when a noise abruptly brought her back to reality.

_Bang!_

_Chuckle._

_"Shhhh…"_

_Smash! Thud!_

_Giggle._

_"Fer crying out…"_

_Clatter!_

_"Crap!"_

_Groan. _

_Thump!_

_Snicker._

_"You'll wake Sam!"_

_Laugh._

Smirking to herself, she got up and poked her head around the door. Jack was sitting on the floor with Teal'c about to pull him to his feet. A vase she kept on the small hall table was lying on the floor broken into pieces. The Jaffa looked up, and a face peered out from behind his large frame. It was Daniel.

Jack stared open mouthed, Teal'c bowed his head contritely and Daniel giggled. Tanked, Sam surmised. It was Daniel she had heard laughing as they came in.

"I apologize, Colonel Carter," Teal'c said. "We awoke you. And we have broken something of value to you."

His tone was hugely remorseful. Jack, meanwhile, continued staring silently, trying his best not to join in Daniel's sniggering, giggling mirth and to look serious and sober. Daniel was starting to get hysterical and it was hard to avoid being caught up with it.

Ignoring the other men, Sam smiled warmly at Teal'c. "It's okay, I was awake. I kind of expected this. No problem about the vase. Thanks for getting him home in one piece."

"I am not altogether certain he is in one piece. His mind seems to be elsewhere."

"No change there then," Sam commented and Teal'c smiled broadly.

"Indeed."

"Hey, I'm right here you know," Jack complained, his voice disjointed and slurred.

Sam continued to ignore him and Teal'c pulled him to his feet. Daniel thought this even funnier than whatever the heck he was already laughing at and continued to giggle heartily. Gleeful tears ran down his cheeks and he waved at Sam drunkenly.

"Hi Daniel," she said, waving back. "Have a good night?" He was laughing so much that he could not get any words out. So he simply nodded and continued, his stomach starting to ache with the contractions.

"What about me? Am I invisible?" Jack asked, pouting churlishly. Teal'c had propped him against the hallway wall and kept him upright with an outstretched arm. Sam squeezed past them and started to pick up pieces of broken vase, which she temporarily placed back on the table before turning her attention to the three men again.

"What should I do with him?" Teal'c asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Spare bedroom." Jack looked at her questioningly, a hurt expression on his face. "You snore really loudly when you're drunk," she said defensively.

"Drunk? Whaddaya talking about?" He was about to raise more objections when he felt himself hoisted into the air and over Teal'c's broad shoulders. "Hey!" he screeched, struggling vainly while Teal'c carried him along the hallway to the bedroom, exchanging a smirk with Sam as he passed.

Meanwhile, doubled up with laughter, Daniel slid down the hallway wall, landing in a small heap in the floor where Jack had just been sitting. Sam eyed him with patient affection.

"Care to share?" she asked, but he waved a hand to indicate that sharing was not possible. "What got you? Laughing gas?"

From behind her, a deep voice interrupted. "Do you require me to undress O'Neill, Colonel Carter?" Teal'c asked and Sam turned, smiling. She was finding this whole situation highly amusing.

"No. I can handle it. I think you'd better get laughing boy home."

Teal'c peered at Daniel and then turned to face Sam again. "Less than ten minutes ago he was on the verge of weeping," he stated.

"Ah! He's passed quickly through the maudlin phase and into a hysterical one. That's good. Next thing he'll be unconscious. Are you all right to get him home?"

"I can manage Daniel Jackson. You deal with O'Neill."

Sam nodded. She could hear Jack cussing from the spare bedroom and rolled her eyes. Her drunken fiance probably needed humoring.

"Wait!" she exclaimed as Teal'c tried to manhandle Daniel toward the front door. The Jaffa paused and she briefly grasped an arm and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Teal'c."

"You are welcome, Samantha," he whispered. She grinned, turning and leaving him to it and going to check on Jack.

Her husband to be was slumped on the bed looking a mess with hair sticking out all over the place and rumpled clothing. As Jack was tall and lean he seemed to have arms and legs sprawled everywhere.

"Bed," he said as she walked in.

"That's right. It's a bed," she replied with a tolerant smile. Sam stood at the end of the bed and surveyed the wreckage. Even from that distance, Jack reeked of alcohol. "Have a good time, honey?" she asked good-humouredly.

He glared at her. "Bed. You join me." He patted the mattress, eyeing her with pie-eyed optimism.

"I've already got a bed to sleep in." Sam was trying hard not to giggle at the hilarious sight of a drunken Jack O'Neill and she perched on the edge of the bed with a studiously serious expression on her face. No wonder Daniel had been laughing so uncontrollably, she thought.

Jack propped himself up on one arm and ogled her. "Aw, babe…" he whined."How about a striptease for your soon to be old man?"

"You haven't seen enough naked women tonight?" she asked with amusement.

"Not a single one, I swear!" He held up a hand like he was taking an oath.

"Really? And you call it a bachelor party? If only Jimmy were here…" She could not resist throwing him a smirk. "So, did you have a good time?" she repeated.

"Sure," he drawled. "But I think someone must have put some sober pills in my beer. Have we discovered such a thing as sober pills yet? Some alien race must have thought of something by now. Anyway, I should be drunk at my own stag party. Sooo not fair!" he griped and Sam chuckled throatily.

"Jack, you aren't sober."

"I'm not?" He peered at her myopically and lost balance, his elbow giving out under him. His head hit the pillow in a most ungainly manner and Sam attempted to keep a straight face.

"Definitely not."

He grinned idiotically. "Really? Cool!" Moving closer, he reached out a hand and ineptly grabbed one of her breasts while exhaling alcoholic fumes into her face. She figured if she lit a match he might breathe fire. "So, how about a little one on one, babe?" Jack waggled his eyebrows, leering suggestively but looking comical rather than seductive.

She met his eyes for a moment and then looked him up and down with a critical eye. "Mmmm… making love to a drunken man is almost always disappointing."

"Since when have I been disappointing in bed for crying out loud?" he retorted with a boyish pout. His groping hand came to a standstill for a moment and then started up again just as clumsily as before.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Never. Obviously," she replied in mocking tone.

"Are you making fun of me, Carter?"

"Would I?" She winked playfully.

"Huh!" he exclaimed with mock indignation. "Wait until we get married. Then we'll know what's what." She just grinned, choosing to ignore his jibe. "But, baby, I'm horny…"

"That's not what your body says," she remarked pointedly. He just glared. "Think you can get it up Mr Scarecrow?" she asked, grasping his flaccid privates and squeezing, although not hard enough to hurt.

"Think I can't young Miss Dorothy?" he said with a 'dare me' sneer.

"If you shower, clean your teeth and can get it up after that, I'll consider it," she responded, pushing him away. "You smell disgusting."

"Gee, thanks," he responded with a disappointed sigh.

"Well you do! Like a brewery."

"I've smelled of worse."

She smiled faintly. "You surely have, but I never made love with you then either."

"Humpf! Give me a kiss?" he asked expectantly, and Sam obliged by pecking him on the cheek. "That's not what I meant."

"I know that, rancid breath." He appeared offended and was about to defend himself so she pressed on. "Bathroom. Toothbrush. Toothpaste. Shower."

"Horny Jack. Sex!" he hissed. "So not fair!"

Sam regarded him with a long-suffering kind of expression. "You would fall asleep in the middle of it, I bet, if not sooner." She swiped his hand away from her breast at last and heaved a sigh.

"I'll take that bet, Carter."

Indulgent look still firmly in place, she bent down and kissed him on the forehead affectionately. "Um, okay. Maybe. What we betting?"

"I don't know, for crying out loud. Where were we? Mmmm…" He paused to think for a while, trying to recall, then the lights came on in his head and he grinned mischievously.

"I know! You'll let me do it if I have a hard on when I come out of the shower. If I don't, I'll leave you alone and go to sleep. If I fall asleep in the middle of it, I'll play at being your slave for the first 30 days we spend together after our honeymoon. If I can manage some action before I fall asleep, you are mine."

Sam's eyes widened with glee, and just a little bit of anticipation. "Slave, eh? Now that is sooo tempting." It certainly brought back a few fun memories of odd nights here and there. "Sexual or otherwise?" she asked for clarification and Jack groaned.

"What you want a signed contract?" he retorted. "Anything, everything, whatever..." He waved a hand in the air nonchalantly and Sam glared at him suspiciously wondering if she might have been had. Nevertheless, she agreed to the bet. Secretly, she thought he would never make it to the shower, let alone make love to her.

Admittedly, the idea of Jack playing her slave for 30 days was appealing. It could be hilarious. She was not so sure if she liked the notion of losing the bet. Knowing Jack, he would play his role as her master to the hilt. Still, it might be exciting, particularly in bed.

This assumed, of course, that he would remember the bet in the morning when he woke up with the mother of all hangovers. Perhaps if she lost she could fail to remind him. Although Jack had a habit of remembering most of what had happened while he was stoned, his recall could be convenient to say the least.

As he pulled himself up from the bed, unsteadily but with that O'Neill style determination she had many reasons for loving, Sam watched with a small smile. He could barely walk, let alone make love. Nevertheless, he made it into the bathroom.

While he showered, Sam created little master/slave scenarios in her head, interchanging the roles they might play. Quite some fantasy. She was beginning to hope she would lose the bet. Then she realized Jack had been gone for quite some time. Not that she was clock watching but she was fairly sure he had been showering for way longer than usual.

Quietly, she crept to the bathroom, carefully poking her head around the door. The shower was still running, hot steam clouding the atmosphere. She could not see Jack moving inside the shower stall and could only just make out the outline of his body through the fog.

"Jack?" she said tentatively. He did not reply. "Jack, are you okay?"

The lack of response worried her, so she hurried to the shower and peered inside. What she saw made her gasp and then laugh out loud. Jack still had his pants and shoes on and was propped against the shower stall wall apparently dozing standing up.

"Only Jack O'Neill…" she muttered to herself good-humouredly and wondering whether she could manage to maneuver him back into the bedroom. Where was Teal'c when she needed him?

Sam prodded him. "Jack." No response. "Jack! She jabbed harder. Nothing. "Crap! How the hell do you sleep standing up like that?" she asked fruitlessly. Belatedly, she switched off the shower and groped for a towel. Then she had an idea.

"What time do you call this, airman? You're late! Get your skinny ass out here now!" she shouted in her best imitation of a boot camp sergeant.

Jack jerked awake. "Wha…?" Rubbing his eyes, he looked confused for a moment and then his eyes alighted on Sam. "Was I dreaming?" he asked.

"No, you really did fall asleep standing up in the shower," she replied.

"Wha…?" He focused on his surroundings, looking down and realizing he was wet and still partially clothed. "What the hell…?" Shaking himself like a dog, he reached for the towel Sam was holding. "What happened?"

She grinned evilly. "Ummm… now let's see… you got drunk, came home, made a bet, took a shower and fell asleep." As she rattled off the list, Sam held up her fingers one at a time as if counting.

"Standing up with my clothes on?" He peered at her in disbelief.

"So it seems."

"Oy!" He scrubbed his hands through his wet hair. "I know I seem to be able to sleep almost anywhere but this is a little bit ridiculous, don't ya think?"

"No comment," she responded with a grin. "Let's get you dried off, shall we? You'd better take off those shoes and pants."

Jack rolled his eyes, starting to remove his shoes and peel off his soaking trousers. "I guess I lost the bet, huh?"

"Ummm… maybe. You could still try to win." Her smiling eyes twinkled with mischief and Jack said nothing as she plucked another towel from the rail to help him dry off.

He toweled his hair, face and neck while she dealt with his chest and back, then he started on his lower body. Pausing at his crotch, he looked up at her and captured her eyes. She waited for a moment for him to speak.

"God's truth? I'm exhausted. The shower sobered me up a little but that's made me realize I'm not up to it. Need to sleep. I guess you win."

Sam tittered lightheartedly. "I was kind of hoping you might pull it off," she teased.

"Sorry to disappoint."

Her hand lightly grasped the back of his head and she leaned up and kissed him on the lips. "Tomorrow, Mr Scarecrow."

He smiled. "Yeah, tomorrow. If my head will stop spinning."

She pulled away, moving over to the medicine cabinet, taking out some painkillers and tipping a couple into her hand. "Take these," she suggested, handing them to him.

"Thanks Dorothy." He swallowed them dry and then decided drinking some water might be helpful to dilute the alcohol, so he emptied the toothbrushes out of their glass, gave it a rinse and filled it, gulping down the refreshing liquid and then filling it again and knocking back more.

Despite the activity, and the shower, he was dead on his feet. Sam could see the exhaustion etched into his face, probably not helped by the quantity of alcohol he had consumed.

"So, your slave for 30 days, huh?" he said. "Whaddaya gonna do with me?"

She smirked, sympathetic affection swelling in her breast. "I'm sure I'll think of something," she replied with a wink. "Never mind that now. Bed. Sleep." She took him by the hand. "Come on."

"Your room?" he asked as she led him in that direction. "Thought I was in the dog house."

"Our room," she corrected and they exchanged smiles.

"Our room. Cool."

Sam helped him into bed, hastily undressing and joining him. Jack curled up around her, spooning against her back, and sighed contentedly, closing his eyes and starting to drift away into the world of healing sleep. He felt slightly woozy and nauseous but tried to ignore it and allow sleep to come. The feel of Sam's soft bare flesh under his fingers helped ground him.

Getting married to the most beautiful intelligent woman in the world. Only days away. He sighed again wistfully. Maybe life didn't suck so much after all.


	39. Never Alone: The Big Day

Title: Never Alone 39: The Big Day

Category: Angst/Romance

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Mild language and reference to sexual situations

Summary: Jack and Sam's big day has arrived, but for them nothing is ever straightforward!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's Notes: Many thanks to ImmerRDA for beta reading this chapter and providing some thought provoking comments that I used in this story to, what I hope is, good effect. Thank you for the additional inspirations, my friend! Also, thanks to all of you who are patiently continuing to read this series despite the too frequent long gaps between chapters. I really appreciate all the wonderful, encouraging feedback you have sent to me.

**Never Alone 39: The Big Day**

Scanning the room in desperation, and fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, Mark Carter muttered an expletive under his breath and then shouted through the adjoining door.

"Jo, where's my tie?"

His voice held more than a tinge of agitation and his wife rolled her eyes. As if she did not have her own problems! Their two recalcitrant children occupied Jo as she tried to cajole, bribe and threaten them into getting dressed. She had not even started to get ready herself and was becoming increasingly frustrated. Mark's demanding tone pissed her off. Why did she have to do everything?

"I don't know, honey," she replied in a calm manner that belied her irritation. "Take a look in the dresser."

As ever, Mark had left her to unpack everything when they arrived at the hotel, so Jo probably should have known where she put the tie. Distracted by her own problems, however, her usually excellent recall was imperfect.

"Jo!" Mark whined loudly and she cursed softly. The kids overheard and snickered in that irksome childlike way. Jo glared at them menacingly, wanting to knock their heads together. Of course, she would never resort to such extreme measures, even though they had tried her patience ever since waking her up at a far earlier hour than was necessary. Mark, of course, had rolled over and gone back to sleep. Jo wished she'd had that option.

The couple and their children theoretically had some time to spare before the ceremony, but the air had been laden with panic from minute one of those early hours. The kids chose that day, of all days, to act up. They were not always so disruptive. Jo conceded that her children were probably overexcited about their aunt's wedding, but she already felt worn out and they had a long day ahead of them. Her patience was wearing very thin.

Not for the first time did Jo curse her husband's lack of understanding when it came to dealing with the kids. Mark did not have to handle them day in and day out like she did. He lacked empathy and expected her to do all the running for both him and the children. It could be exasperating.

"Get your shoes on," she directed the children. "I'll be right back."

She had no expectation that they would obey, but felt obliged to try keeping things moving. As she slipped through the adjoining door of their suite still dressed in her negligee, Mark eyed her with dismay. "You aren't ready yet," he commented in a slightly peeved tone, and Jo glowered.

"I have three children to attend to, Mark," she retorted acidly, immediately spotting his supposedly missing tie draped over a chair. Jo knew she had not put it there, so her husband must have. Sometimes, men can be so infuriating!

"Three…?" he queried, and she threw him a tart look along with the tie.

"Try looking next time," she added with rancor before he had the chance to reply, and she wondered why men never actually seem to look properly. Or was it just her husband? Probably not, she decided. Did Sam understand what she might be getting herself into by marrying Jack O'Neill? Of course not. Who did? Jo figured it was a little late to be thinking of passing on her life lessons to her in-law.

It took Mark a few seconds to realize what she meant about having three children. He was the supposed third. Although slightly insulted, he sought to lighten the obvious tension. His wife's eyes blazed angrily and he knew this was a bad moment to pick a fight. Sometimes the best option is to back down.

"Hiding things in plain sight, honey?" he quipped, thinking it funny, but his attempt at humor fell flat. In fact, it exacerbated his wife's displeasure.

"Well I didn't put it there, asshole!" she exclaimed emphatically. Muttering "Men!" under her breath, Jo stomped off without further comment, returning to deal with her 'other' children.

Mark stared after her in silence for a while, ruminating and growing crosser with each passing thought. Didn't his wife know he was under a lot of pressure? Talk about lack of empathy, damn it. She had no idea. He had a lot to do today – responsibilities.

Each time he thought about it, Mark had to fight himself in an attempt to quell his nervously rising nausea. As if walking down the aisle wasn't bad enough, then he had to make a witty speech, be on his best behavior, smile whether he felt like it or not. He did not want to let his sister down. This was her big day.

Earlier on, he had tried to shake his increasing apprehension with a long hard swim in the hotel pool followed by a short relaxation in the Jacuzzi. Normally, the exercise might have worked, let the building steam escape, but not this time. He fervently wished his dad was still alive so he could just kick back and relax while watching the nuptials rather than playing such an active role in them.

Mark was not wholly insensitive to the problems his wife was having with their kids, but he did not want to have to handle it. He had more than enough to preoccupy him and he could not understand why Jo didn't get that.

Asshole? Jeez…

Then again, he had left Jo to deal with everything. The kids had been more than a handful this morning and Mark knew it, but he had done nothing to help his wife. Mark intended this time away from California to be a vacation, combining the business of Sam's wedding with the pleasures of Colorado, and his wife deserved a break too.

His initial anger started to subside. On further reflection, he figured maybe Jo was pissed because he was not being more sympathetic. The last thing Mark wanted today was to fall out with his wife. He needed her support just as much if not more than she might need his.

Mark chose to stay in this high-end hotel, and reserved one of their best suites, because he hoped the surroundings would make the vacation special and be a relaxing environment.

Their suite was palatial and sumptuous. There were separate rooms for the kids and parents. The well proportioned and opulently furnished living room had an incredible view and all the modern conveniences. The bathroom was to die for. The hotel had facilities for babysitting, so Mark and Jo could go out alone at night if they wanted to. The food in the hotel restaurants was of excellent quality. There was a large pool, a great spa with massage and many other treatments available, and a well equipped gym.

The place was not cheap, not for a family holiday, and way more than Mark might normally spend on their vacation accommodations. It wasn't that he was broke or parsimonious. He earned a decent wage, but raising a family is an expensive business. Their past vacations with the kids were generally expensive enough without luxury hotels thrown in as part of the equation. He and Jo had not stayed anywhere like this since they'd had the children.

Family vacations could be fraught with tensions - spending all that time in each other's pockets that you did not normally. He wanted his family to enjoy this vacation, did not wish to spoil it.

Jo was right. Sometimes he could be an asshole. Nobody is perfect. As a rule that might make life more interesting, but not today. Not on this vacation.

Sighing inwardly, he started towards the adjoining living room hoping to redeem himself and make it up with her. The day might become even more of a nightmare if he didn't. Besides, he loved her dearly, faults and all.

"Okay you two, up and at 'em before I think of a suitable but irritating punishment," he told the kids as he entered.

Jude and Rick stared at him defiantly, trying to gauge if they could get away with disobeying. His responding glare both outdid and outranked theirs and they exchanged resigned glances, deciding they probably could not. Before they could make a move, however, he spoke again and his words and tone made them shiver with childlike fear and awe at the possible consequences of disobeying.

"You two must want to hold hands," he threatened, and they blanched at the warning. The pair hated when he made them do that.

The kids knew their father could be quite creative with his punishments. Not physically cruel, never that. He had never so much as smacked them in his life, not even in anger, unlike some of their friend's fathers. His punishments, however, could be very embarrassing and usually deprived them of something they really wanted with all their hearts.

The wedding ceremony would probably be as boring as hell, and they had both discussed that in a conspiratorial way, but the reception afterwards was a different matter. Neither of them wanted to miss the fun. They loved parties and were looking forward to it. And both of Mark's kids adored their Auntie Sam, and her husband to be.

Their father's inventiveness might force them to do something really discomforting at the reception, and he had just voiced one of the threats they detested most. Sometimes he would make them sit holding hands, particularly when they misbehaved in front of company. It was just so mortifying. Brother and sister forced to hold hands? Yeech! They were never certain they even liked each other, and they were way too old and grown up for that kind of thing. Beyond mortifying.

The idea that he might do this at the reception was embarrassing in the extreme. Sitting holding hands for endless hours in full view of the rest of the kids and adults. The pair imagined their humiliation if he forced that awfulness on them today of all days. Boy, would their faces be red. And it would cramp their styles big time. No fun at all. The whole notion was totally squirmifying!

Then there was the rest of this trip. They figured their father could deprive them of quite a lot of fun if he wanted to, and they did not want to risk that.

When they quickly obeyed Mark's command, Jo cursed inwardly. It was sooo annoying that they took more notice of their father than her. She knew it was likely because familiarity bred contempt but that was not the point. It was an irksome fact of their lives and she resented it.

Mark probably thought the children were easy to deal with, that she had the undemanding life while he worked hard to support his family. Not surprising when they quickly fell in with his demands, she supposed.

Once the children scurried off to their room, she was tempted to remark on it, but her husband lightly clasped her upper arms and spoke first.

"I'm sorry honey. I guess you've been having a tough morning and I haven't helped."

He smiled apologetically, pulling her closer and lacing his arms around her for a hug. It might have irritated her further that he should be so disarming while attempting to placate her when they were on the verge of the row she was spoiling for. However, it did not. Instead of retorting, she buried her head in his chest and wound her arms around him.

This was her husband, and she still adored him after all their years together. She knew many people who were not in that enviable position and she realized she was lucky. He could make her feel good, even at the height of feeling bad, and this was precisely what he did now. His whispered declaration of love definitely helped.

"Me too," she replied by way of a responding apology. "The kids have been a pain in the ass all morning."

"I know, and I should have intervened before. They're overexcited, but I just needed some calm."

As she held him, Jo felt him trembling and glanced up to look him in the eyes. "You're shaking," she observed with surprise.

"This is my sister's wedding and I want it to be perfect. God, I wish dad was still around so he could be the one doing all this crap."

"You're nervous?" As soon as she said it, Jo realized it was a stupid question. His apprehension was obvious. Mark, the kids, her – they were all anxious in their own ways. This is why they had spent the whole morning in a state of near panic.

"What if I screw up?" Mark asked with a hint of terror. "Walking Sam down the aisle, everyone staring."

"How do you think she feels?

"Happy, I hope." He obviously misunderstood her comment and Jo felt the need to clarify.

"Well of course she's happy. She's marrying the man she loves. But what I mean is, they won't be looking at you, they'll be looking at the bride. She's the center of attention. So imagine how she's feeling right now. Her stomach is probably doing back-flips. You think you're nervous? Try being the bride."

Mark chuckled at that notion. "Seems a little unlikely, don't you think?" he replied with a smirk.

She grinned. "Oh, Mark, I'm sure you'd look adorable in a dress and veil. Lots of lace would so suit you…" His smirk broadened and the couple both started to laugh, their tensions easing considerably. Then he kissed her.

As is the way with kids, they returned just in time to sneak a peek. "Oh, gross!" Jude exclaimed, and the couple caught the disgusted looks on both of their children's faces when they hastily pulled apart. This started them off laughing again.

"One day you'll understand," Jo responded when she could manage to squeeze out a few words.

"No way!" her daughter retorted. "Yuck!"

Mark and Jo captured each other's eyes and smiled, the secret kind of smile you might get between couples. Both of them were beginning to wish the kids were not around. Mark's hand roamed to his wife's butt and down her thigh before dropping to his side.

"Wish we had more time," he said softly with a sigh.

"That a promise for later?" She winked, leaning in to peck his neck, which elicited another groan from their offspring.

Mark paused thoughtfully, glancing at the time. "Feel like going through my speech with me before we go?" he asked.

Jo did not catch on to his real meaning. "I'm not even ready yet!"

"Best reason for doing it now," he replied, licking his lips and trying to hint at his real intentions without giving their children any clues.

"Oh!" She grinned thinking that a quick lovemaking session would be one sure fire way of relieving some tension. "Sure."

"Boring," Rick grumbled, pulling a face. "Do you have to?" His tone was dangerously close to a whine. The speeches were the one part of the reception the kids were dreading. They wanted to stuff their faces full of food, drink lots of the sugary pop their parents normally restricted, and mingle and play with the grown ups and other kids.

"Well, we'll go into the bedroom to do it while you two watch TV," Mark suggested with a leer in Jo's direction. They had already been through the speech a dozen times, until it was close to word perfect and he almost knew it by heart already. But their children did not know that.

"Cool!" Jude screeched. The kids loved that TV. The beauties of the luxury suite, a gigantic wall mounted plasma screen and zillions of available channels. Mark had expressly forbidden them to have it on that morning and if he had allowed it earlier, this might have made Jo's day a little easier. Now, with his permission granted and the additional treat factor, the TV would tie them up for as long as their parents needed. It would also act as a good cover for any noise they might make while getting up to some delicious naughtiness in the next room. Good plan.

The kids were already engrossed before Mark managed to grasp Jo's hand and pull her toward the main bedroom.

"Your clothes will get mussed," she said lightheartedly.

"Not gonna get that chance," he muttered, quickly stripping and carefully placing the clothes on the back of a chair so they did not get crumpled. He turned toward his wife and found her staring, her eyes appraising him with naked lust. He so loved when she did that, waiting for him to make the moves. On the other hand, he loved it when she made them too. But she obviously thought it was his turn to do the seducing. This was his idea, after all.

"How much time we got?" he asked, pushing her onto the bed and tugging at her negligee.

"Enough," she whispered throatily.

The sex helped. Quick it might have been, by necessity because of their limited time, but just as satisfying as a long languorous session. The couple felt much better. The tension and stress had all but evaporated in the heated sweat of their bodies, and their deliberately stifled moans of desire and fulfillment. But boy did they need a shower!

When their parents reappeared, spruced up and ready to go, the children were none the wiser about their activities. Jo was pleased to find the kids had not ruined the best clothes they had bought especially for the occasion. Her memory of the hellish morning faded, replaced by more recent and pleasant recollections.

As they checked to ensure they forgot nothing of importance, she whispered in her husband's ear. "You won't screw it up, Mark. It will be fine."

He nodded, grinning broadly. At last, Mark was content. Nothing could beat the support and intimacy you gain with a good life partner, he thought. He hoped his sister would be as happy in her marriage to Jack as he was in his to Jo, and he told his wife so. The kids, as might be expected, sneered.

The Carters were ready for Sam's big day.

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Big day was right, and Jo had it spot on about Sam. Her stomach was jittery and she was trembling with nerves.

"That's too much!" she exclaimed petulantly as Betsy applied the final layer of her make up.

Tempted though she was to snap back at Sam in response to her outburst, Betsy took a deep and calm inducing breath and replied in deliberately quiet and reassuring tones.

"Sam, it looks terrific. And believe me, you are going to need this much makeup to stand up to the bright lights of those flashing cameras. Sweetie, when have I ever led you astray?"

Sam looked at her old friend in an ironic way. "Many times," she said in a biting tone, although the leading astray thing had worked both ways she recalled. "I never wear this much makeup!"

"But this is your wedding day. It's special," Betsy countered. "You look beautiful. Jack will have a heart attack when he sees you."

Unable to keep an amused smirk creeping over her face, Sam tittered. "I sure hope it doesn't have that effect."

"No, I guess that would be kind of uncool on your wedding day."

Betsy was trying her best to be a soothing influence in this mad house that was Sam's home. No easy task. Sam was on edge, Cassie was twittering like a school girl, over-excited by her anticipation, and Betsy herself was not exactly the calmest person on the planet.

She was so looking forward to seeing her old and dear friend finally marry Jack O'Neill, but was wishing she had a handful of valium for both Sam and Cassie. Maybe for her too. Then they could all float serenely and dreamily through the day with consummate ease. The thought made her chuckle to herself.

The three women had been getting ready since the early hours. Sam was perched on a chair in her bedroom in front of the dresser mirror while Betsy, who was good at that kind of thing, played beautician. Cassie was elsewhere putting her bridesmaid's dress on, which at least minimized the twittering for now. But Betsy and Sam were excited enough to make up for her absence.

The previous day, Sam had hair extensions put in, so she now sported long blonde locks. Jack knew nothing about this plan. It was a huge surprise for everyone except the people currently at Sam's house. Cassie thought they were the best thing ever, and Betsy agreed they looked fabulous, making Sam appear softer and more feminine. This was exactly the effect Sam had intended. She wanted to make an impact, look different on her wedding day.

Earlier Betsy had styled the long hair into soft curls swept up on top of Sam's crown. Even the highly agitated Sam had to admit it looked pretty good like that. It seemed odd in many ways having long hair for the first time since her late teens. A bit of getting used to but, overall, she liked it and was contemplating growing her hair for real.

Sam figured Jack would be shocked and surprised, but he would love it. She imagined him taking great pleasure from making her long tresses part of his first seduction with them as a married couple. The idea made her shiver with anticipation, and she had pictured the scene in her head quite a few times - Jack's long dexterous fingers reaching up to her hair and slowly loosening it from its captivity while he stared into her eyes and his other hand worked some extra magic elsewhere. The stuff of daydreams, and probably silly, but it would be very Jack like.

She was looking forward to the first time they would make love as Mr and Mrs O'Neill. Logically, Sam thought it might be an overly romantic notion but she envisaged it being special, or seeming that way. She had always considered herself a pragmatic kind of person. She and Jack both were, but daydreaming is not simply for the young or idealistic and it seemed they were equally capable of veering toward romance and fantasy.

Waltzing into the room in her underwear, curious about the raised voices and laughter, Cassie halted at the door upon seeing Sam. She looked fantastic. "Okay, so what are you two screeching about this time?"

Betsy bridled, thinking Cassie could do enough screeching for all of them, but she said nothing. Sam, however, stood up and faced her adopted daughter.

"What do you think?" she asked.

Cassie grinned, approaching and grasping one of Sam's hands. "I was just thinking how beautiful you look. Great job with the makeup, Betsy. Perfect."

"You really think so? Not too much?" Sam asked.

"Too much? No way. Jack will have kittens."

"That's an improvement on a heart attack, I suppose," Sam responded with a smirk.

"What?" Cassie queried, doing a double take at those words.

"We were just kidding around," Betsy replied, patting the young woman reassuringly. "Jack is gonna love it."

Meanwhile, Sam sat again, contemplating her image in the mirror. The makeup was beginning to grow on her, and she had wanted to look different, hadn't she? It certainly emphasized that femininity she was eager to display today.

"Okay, I'll live with the makeup," she said. "Thanks, Betsy." Sam did not wish to appear ungrateful because she wasn't. If not for her old friend, she would just look like Sam Carter. What she saw in the mirror was Mrs Samantha O'Neill. Another romanticized illusion, but what the heck? If you can't be romantic and a dreamer on your wedding day, when else?

"Okay, so now for the dress?" Cassie suggested. She couldn't wait to see the full effect.

"I'll put it on while you finish getting ready, Cass."

Cassie nodded, turning to leave and get on with what she had been doing. She was happy to see the whole look at once when Sam and Betsy had finished.

"So, how are you feeling?" Betsy asked as she helped Sam with her dress. Dumb question, she knew because she had been here and done this herself, but it might help Sam to talk about it.

"Oh, Betsy…" Sam responded, her face alight with joy. "Happy, excited, terrified… I don't know! How did you feel when you got married?"

Betsy had been married for quite some time now, but she remembered. She had missed her husband the night before when she left him in the hotel to come here. He still made her happy, mostly. Sure, they had ups and downs, just like everyone else, but she had no regrets.

"Happy, excited, terrified…" Betsy replied with a grin. "And a whole lot more."

"It's normal then?"

"Oh, honey, of course it's normal!" She paused while she hooked up the final fastenings on the dress and gently grasped the tops of Sam's arms, encouraging her to turn around to face her and stepping back. "You look fantastic. Radiant. Corny I know, but true anyway."

"Ya think?" Sam said, turning to face the mirror. "Not bad even if I say so myself!" she exclaimed with a satisfied nod.

"Still think you're doing the right thing?"

"I might be churning up inside, but yes."

"Well, Jack sure is a hunk of a man."

"All man." Sam smiled dreamily. "And way more than just a hunk."

"That's for sure!" Betsy replied with a giggly type tone. "Gorgeous, smart, and totally nuts about you. What more do you need?"

Sam bit her lip, and Betsy thought she would have to touch up the lipstick again. "What more? That we work. That he doesn't get bored with being nuts about me."

Betsy knew all about those kinds of doubts. She had been there too. Her expression turned serious and she took Sam's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"There are never any guarantees, Sam. But you two are great together. So, my money is on him not getting bored and staying nuts about you. Bet he's thinking the same thing about you. Pre-wedding jitters. Only natural." Sam said nothing, merely smiling and thinking Betsy was probably right about that.

"Right, so we have the something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. But what about the sixpence in the shoe? I forgot about the sixpence!" Sam said in a panicky tone. Betsy laughed and Sam shot her a disgruntled look. "Oh, Betsy… where am I going to get a sixpence?" Her panicked tone shot into the stratosphere.

"You think your best friend Betsy hasn't thought about that one? I've got it covered." She smiled broadly and reached for her purse, poking around and producing a sixpence.

Sam grinned at her in happy relief. "Oh, you really are the best friend a woman ever had!" she responded, giving Betsy a hug. "What would I do without you?"

"Well, you wouldn't have a sixpence," Betsy retorted humorously and Sam giggled nervously. "This sixpence will ensure a long and happy marriage, Sam. I used it. Many of my friends and family have used it. It's been passed through generations of marriages, all of them long and happy ones. It will bring you luck."

Sam's grin broadened. "If I'm half as lucky in marriage as you, Jack and I are gonna be fine."

"You will be with or without the sixpence. Fate, remember?" She winked at her friend and both of them recalled Sam's adolescent infatuation with the youthful Captain O'Neill. "But this will clinch it for sure." She took one of Sam's shoes and stuck it inside. "Okay. Finishing touch. The veil and headdress. What is this stuff anyway? And what's this engraving?" Betsy asked curiously, peering closely at the trinuim made headband.

Luckily, Sam had prepared for this question. She had discussed it with Cassie once when she asked how Sam would explain the use of an alien metal, and language. Now, Sam used the excuse for evasion as she had told Cassie she would.

"Oh, that? It's a private, personal thing between me and Jack." She hoped her voice hit the right tone for Betsy, who knew her better than almost anyone, after all.

"What? You're kidding." Betsy looked slightly displeased. She did not like her inquisitiveness thwarted, but Sam would stick to her guns.

"Jack will know. That's what counts. No one else needs to know, so I'm not telling."

"That's it? You aren't going to reveal all to your best and oldest friend?"

"Nope."

"Aw, Sam…" Betsy whined, but she could tell from Sam's expression that she would not squeeze this secret out of her. Married couples should have their private jokes, she thought. So although a little bit peeved, she knew she would probably have to accept Sam's secrecy. Nevertheless, she was tempted to push it because what else are best friends for? A loud and flustered interruption, however, saved Sam from further prying for now.

"The car's here! Mark's arrived!" Cassie ran in screeching, stopping dead in her tracks once again when she saw Sam was finally ready. "Oh man, I'm gonna cry and ruin all my makeup. You look beautiful Sam." She sniffed with emotion and grabbed a couple of tissues from a box on Sam's dresser. "Jack is going to fall in love with you all over again."

"I hope he doesn't need to," retorted Sam drolly. "You are looking pretty good yourself, Cassie. Give me a hug?"

Betsy rolled her eyes as the two women hugged, hoping Sam's perfect image did not get ruined. Then she reached for the lipstick, touched up Sam's lips, and examined herself in the mirror to make sure she was okay too.

Fine. Done at last.

They were ready for Sam's big day.

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Jack was thinking about the previous night. He woke up to find a hand placed over his mouth and Sam standing over him telling him to "shhh".

"Isn't this bad luck?" he asked in a whisper when she withdrew the hand. She shrugged.

"I'm not superstitious, are you?"

"Not really."

This was not quite true for either of them. They just were not superstitious in that "not walking under ladders kind of way" - unless someone was perched on top of the ladder with a pot of paint or something. Now that was just asking for trouble. Duh! So they did not adhere to what might be considered as normal superstitions, but they did have their own brand. Like if George Hammond failed to say "God speed" before they had stepped through the gate, for example.

"Then give me a hug," Sam suggested and Jack smiled broadly.

"You broke into my hotel room the night before our wedding for a hug?"

"Not really." She could just about make out the arched eyebrow in the gloom. When Jack reached over and pulled her toward him, Sam let herself relax into his arms.

"What is it baby?" he asked with concern, stroking her softly. Jack knew Sam had not come there for a simple hug. Not on the night before their wedding. Something was wrong and it worried him.

"Don't worry. I'm not backing out," she said reassuringly.

"I didn't think you were." It was true. The idea had not even entered his mind, and that pleased him. A few months before it might have. Jack realized his confidence in their relationship had moved a long way in a short time.

Sam snuggled up close to him, sighing at the comforting embrace. "Want to elope?" she whispered. It was not the first time she had suggested it, but Jack knew she had mainly been kidding around, or so he thought. Now, he was not so sure.

"Nervous about tomorrow?" he asked.

"You could say that."

"Me too." He kissed her forehead, continuing his soothing caress, and she whimpered a little in response. "Actually, I'm kind of well, you know… terrified." His tone was jocular, and he chuckled to emphasize the point, but it was partly true. A lot true, actually. What a wuss! Big brave Jack O'Neill. Yeahsureyabetchya.

"Terrified? Really?" she asked, giving him a small squeeze.

"You betchya."

"Then let's just run away. Not have to deal with all the people, the ceremony, the speeches."

"What, and disappoint like a million people?" Okay, a slight exaggeration, but who was counting, right?

Sam snorted. "So what?"

Jack had to admit the notion was tempting. He was kind of dreading all the pomp and brouhaha. "Okay. If that's what you want."

Sam couldn't make his features out in the dim light and wasn't sure if he was joking or not. "Really?"

"Really."

"Just for that I'm going to make love to you."

Jack said nothing because her mouth enclosed his in a passionate kiss and she started to stroke him in the places that counted.

Then, he woke to find it was a dream and was severely disappointed. Disappointed because Sam was not actually there in his arms, seducing him or otherwise, and disappointed because he had half been looking forward to leaving all the crap behind and eloping.

"Shit!" he cursed. His nerves had brought on the dream, he supposed. A kind of wishful thinking. A desire to avoid the spectacle of the circus that was a wedding ceremony and all the other nuptial trappings. It had nothing to do with not wanting to marry Sam, of course. He wanted to get married very much indeed. It was that terror he had dreamed about. That part was true, and all too real.

Damp with sweat, he threw back the bed covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed to sit on its edge, head in hands.

"Great!" he exclaimed softly to himself. Jack was thinking he should probably be grateful Sam was not there to see for herself what a ninny he truly was. Muttering under his breath, he decided to hit the shower before even contemplating a restorative cup of coffee. He was still sweating profusely with his stomach tied up in a whole boat load of knots. "Way to go, Jack!"

Quietly, Jack snuck to the bathroom, not wishing to disturb his best man Daniel or good friend Teal'c. The hotel he had dreamed about, that part was not true. He had considered it, but Daniel was so insistent Jack stay at his place. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Probably still was, unless you are a nervous groom feeling like chucking your guts up and not wanting anyone else to witness it.

Company can be a good thing when you are agitated and tense, help to calm those jitters and distract from them. Jack, however, was not the kind of man who wore his heart on his sleeve with ease. Improved these days, perhaps, but he liked some alone time to contemplate and get his head together when it was in disarray. Now, that head of his was in such turmoil that he could not get his thoughts straight.

A shower would help. Or so he hoped. The hot cascading water, washing away the sweat and dirt, some decent thinking and waking up time, normally did help. If nothing else, at least he would feel clean. Right now, he felt disgusting. Remnants of his dream, and the perspiration it had created. Pre-wedding whatevers…

It was like this when he married Sara. He wanted it so bad but it scared the crap out of him. Maybe it was the wanting it so much that caused that terror.

Jack had been very much in love then too. Sara was like a dream come true. He had never loved like that before, had always been the ultimate bachelor. Never thought he was the marrying type. He and Jimmy. Two single men that took advantage of the fact and of the effect they could have on women. Love 'em, leave 'em, never get serious.

Then Sara came along and wham bam, just like that, Jack was hooked. Like a lightening strike. He hardly believed he could feel like that about any woman, but Sara was not like the rest of the women he had dated. Sara was exceptional – beautiful, brainy, and gutsy with a smile that could melt polar icecaps. His anyway.

Jack knew he wanted to marry her within a few days of meeting her. It took months for him to admit he loved her openly, partly because of self-doubt. In Jack's mind, Sara was worth quite a few of him. She could do better. But he got there eventually, had to, and it turned out she loved him back. Jack was euphoric. Knew what the omnipresent 'they' meant about being on cloud nine like he never had before.

Then, plucking up the courage to ask her to become his wife had taken even more months. He wanted to a number of times, but could not quite make the words form on his lips. It was nothing to do with a reluctance to commit, as he might have anticipated having been such a diehard bachelor. It was outright fear. He was a man trained to look his enemy in the face and fight - someone who had found a niche in special ops, which took a different kind of daring. But he found more terror in his heart than he did when faced with an adversary.

His wedding day was both the worst and best moment of his life. Worst because of the sheer panic he felt inside but kept hidden, best because of his deep love, which he did not attempt to hide. Sara would become his wife. Forever, right? So much for that.

Jack had no doubt it would have been forever if not for Charlie's death. He deeply regretted this had torn them apart, that he had failed on so many levels. Even to this day, he regretted; feelings for Sam notwithstanding.

He still had feelings for Sara. Sure he did. Not like before, but she was the love of his life once upon a time. Unless your love turns into hate, which it had not, it is still there in one way or another. She had been a big part of his life. A happy part, something he had cherished. You never forget that, or get over it.

This does not, however, mean you cannot move on. Forever is a very long time. His love for Sam was just as deep, just as real, just as consuming as that first true love. Possibly more so. He could not really compare them, and did not intend to try. It was different, that's all. No need to over analyze. He loved her and wanted to marry her. Simple as that.

Smiling to himself at a dumb idea for a joke he had just thought of, Jack stealthily snuck into Daniel's den. Grabbing a piece of paper and pen, he scribbled a hasty note and returned to stick it on his bedroom door before heading for the shower. At least he might get a laugh out of it. From Daniel anyway. He could never tell what might amuse his Jaffa friend.

Every noise he made as he showered made him think he was certain to wake one or both of his friends. Jack had to admit he had been pleased to have the company the night before. Just the guys together. It made sense too as they would travel to the Academy Chapel together.

Daniel was probably close to being as nervous about the ceremony as Jack was. He had a big role to play and was worried about screwing it up. Jack did not believe for one minute his best man would make a mess of things, but that did not deter Daniel from fretting.

Teal'c, on the other hand, was a rock. Wasn't he always? His presence was the true calming influence. Jack figured he needed Teal'c to play that role. Keep him grounded like only he could. He guessed Daniel thought so too.

The previous night Jack had acted the part, went through the motions of sociability. He didn't think anyone noticed how much he was churning up inside. Luckily, roiling guts are invisible to the naked eye. If his friends did notice, both of them were too polite to mention it, which was fine by Jack.

Sam seemed to believe that as he had been married before this time was easier for him. A piece of cake. She was wrong. The heart never gets old Sam, he thought. It might wear out and die on you but it loves like the years have never passed, and is just as vulnerable and fearful as it always was.

He might seem tough, and he was in so many ways, but he was also like any other man. Fragile and easily damaged. Okay, so the hard-bitten exterior he'd had to cultivate was more obdurate than many. Jack was a soldier and fighter - a killer who had to be secretive, discreet and unemotional. He needed that protective outer core or he could not have survived for so long in his line of work.

His upbringing had also made him that way, forged him into the person he was, like he had been born and raised to do the things he had done. If he had lacked tenacity, Jack would never have survived the brutality, apparent rejection and absence of warmth during his childhood either.

But what of the inside? He was as capable of feeling as exposed and apprehensive as the next guy. Jack had his soft side, perhaps too frequently concealed and denied. Concealment and denial had their uses and he had good reasons for making use of them. Confessing to those feelings always seemed to make them more real, so he rarely did.

Tiptoeing back to his room, he closed the door behind him with a sigh of relief. Jack did not want to face his friends right now. He still needed to get his head together. He could have murdered a cup of coffee, but making it might wake the others. So, Jack sat in a chair in quiet contemplation, forcing positive thoughts.

Sam. He could always think of upbeat stuff about her to turn his mood around.

It wasn't that Jack was unhappy. Far from it. In fact, he figured he might be the happiest guy on the planet today. His wedding day. He wanted this marriage. He wanted the commitment, to make that public declaration of vows and lasting love. Nerves. Pre-wedding jitters. It was as simple and as complicated as that.

Only a few days before, he had woken up at Sam's with the mother of a hangover. Groaning as he turned in bed, he opened his eyes with the dread of a man who had drank way too much at his bachelor party the night before. It took him a little while to recall everything, but he thought he did.

Jack remembered being in denial about his drunkenness, remembered getting home and Sam's amused and tolerant reaction to his inebriation. She had been thoroughly entertained, it seemed, enjoyed every embarrassing moment. Except Jack was neither embarrassed nor ashamed. He'd had a good time on his stag night just like any red blooded man should. Less of a good time, maybe, given there were no mortifying moments involving other woman - or being tied naked to street lights or dumped unconscious on trains to Timbuktu.

He did, however, remember the bet about sex and slavery. Shit! He had lost that bet, hadn't he? Darn it. The notion of playing slave and master for 30 days with Sam definitely appealed and could be a lot of fun, but he was not so certain about it being him who played the subservient one.

It might make for hot sex but Jack's issue with the bet was anything over and above it that Sam might get him doing. She might force him to watch chick flicks, for crying out loud, do house or yard work. Or worse, go shopping with her. Everything she enjoyed doing that he hated, and everything she disliked doing that he also detested. There were many possibilities. Sheesh!

Still, Jack was not going to concern himself with it too much. They were not even married yet, and then there was the honeymoon. Using the O'Neill charm and charisma, he might wriggle out of the more repugnant tasks she could order him to do. Jack chuckled to himself at that thought.

"Charm and charisma my eye," he muttered. "Still, you must have something, Jack old boy. Sam's marrying ya." A broad grin spread over his face. "Not long now."

Mrs Samantha O'Neill. Jack liked that thought. Always. Never alone. Unlike the dream that had woken him earlier, this was as real as it came. Here at last, their big day.

TBC


	40. Never Alone: Yellow Brick Road

Never Alone 40 Yellow Brick Road

Title: Never Alone 40: Yellow Brick Road

Content Warnings: Mild language and reference to sexual situations

Pairings: Jack & Sam, Daniel/Other (Francine)

Season: 9/10

Spoilers: None

Summary: "To have and to hold from this day forward…" Book of Common Prayer

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's Notes: Thanks to ImmerRDA for inspiring me with one of the ideas I have used in this story. She'll know what it is! She also offered some additional inspiration when beta reading this chapter, which I used to enhance my storytelling. I am very grateful for her input. In return, she "stole" a little piece of my story for an email signature and that seems a fair exchange, lol!

**Never Alone 40: Yellow Brick Road**

The man stretched, yawning and considering rolling out of bed, but his covers remained firmly in place and he pulled them up to his chin again. Bright sun glimmered through a chink in the curtains and sounds of activity filtered through the window from outside. A baby cried from far off; a car door slammed; a couple of children played exuberantly.

None of these things bothered the bed dweller. They were signs of normality and did not rouse him because Daniel Jackson was already awake. It was early and he woke after dreaming he made a right royal screw up of his best man's speech. He couldn't sleep after that.

Coffee was just peeking out of its air tight container and calling his name when he heard someone else moving inside the house. Jack? Maybe Teal'c. Francine was not there but had opted to stay in a hotel for the night so the men could freak out together and not bring her down with them. Daniel had arranged to meet her at the chapel.

He heard running water, the shower. Probably Jack getting up and ready early. The eager groom. The best man, however, was not so eager. He stayed in bed a while longer thinking about the day ahead. Then he stretched his indolence for another while, and another. For some reason, he was reluctant to get up. Those butterflies flying around in his stomach might have something to do with it, he thought.

When he heard Jack return to the bedroom, Daniel began to think he should make more of an effort. He would get coffee, start preparing some breakfast and then ensure his friend was all right. If he was feeling nervous Jack might be worse, so Daniel believed he should do his duty. Look after the groom - and see whether Teal'c was around yet to help calm tattered nerves.

Reluctantly rising from the bed, he pulled on some jogging bottoms and a sweat shirt, wandering out to the kitchen. Teal'c was already there, poking around in his cupboards.

"Um, hey Teal'c. What you doing?"

"Good morning Daniel Jackson." Teal'c turned toward him. "I am seeking suitable nourishment."

"I was just about to make breakfast. Pancakes and maple syrup. Bacon too if you want. But first, coffee… Want some orange juice?"

"I helped myself. I sincerely hope that you have no objections."

"It's fine," Daniel replied distractedly as he starting making the coffee. A caffeine boost is exactly what he needed. Followed by lots of food. His stomach was restlessly agitated, but he knew eating would make him feel better even if his tightened guts forced him to throw it all up later.

"May I sit?" Teal'c asked, and Daniel turned to throw him a look.

"Teal'c, you really have to learn to make yourself at home."

"But I am not at home. I am many millions of light years away from home."

Daniel furrowed his eyebrows. "Don't you ever feel at home here on Earth? Even in your room at the SGC?"

Teal'c's dark penetrating gaze held Daniel's eyes, and he appeared to be considering his response. "Not entirely," he admitted candidly.

Thinking this a poignant statement, Daniel was not sure how to respond. "Not even with your friends?" he probed.

"I could wish for no better friends."

Daniel smiled thinly. "That's not what I asked."

"The ways of the Tauri are not the ways of the Jaffa," Teal'c clarified as if it explained everything. Maybe it did. Daniel was not sure whether to pursue the topic or not and in that short period of indecision the moment seemed to pass. "Did you sleep well?" Teal'c asked politely, possibly to deflect from the subject at hand.

"Yeah, considering."

"Considering what, Daniel Jackson?"

"That today is Jack and Sam's wedding day."

Teal'c appeared to ponder the statement. "You are perturbed?"

Daniel waved a dismissive hand in Teal'c's direction. "Ack!" he exclaimed. "No more than usual. I'll screw up, Jack will crack up and the whole thing will turn into a monstrous disaster." He smiled at Teal'c cheekily to let him know he was kidding because his Jaffa friend had a habit of taking words literally. Daniel, however, was only partly joking.

Being perceptive of moods, despite his friend's jest Teal'c realized he was anxious about fulfilling his duties as O'Neill's best man. Daniel Jackson had intimated this on more than one occasion before today. Having sat earlier the Jaffa now rose again and approached Daniel, who paused what he was doing. Teal'c smiled and reached out to squeeze his arm.

"I am confident in your abilities, Daniel Jackson," he said.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Daniel replied looking up at his team mate.

"You will carry out your duties admirably."

Teal'c appeared to be as composed as they come. No surprise there. His serenity personified manner could be reassuring, and it had exactly that effect on Daniel now. He nodded an acknowledgement of his thanks to Teal'c with a small grin and, satisfied, his friend returned to his seat at the kitchen table.

Daniel poured coffee, taking a well needed gulp. Then as he pottered around preparing breakfast, the two men lapsed into silence. Their muteness was not however borne from discomfort but from companionable tranquility.

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Francine Butler calmly brushed the mascara wand over her eyelashes, wondering how the men folk were getting along. Although it was at her suggestion, she had not really wanted to spend the night away from Daniel. Their long distance relationship meant they were frequently apart and she regretted that. Francine wished to take full advantage of the meager time they got to be together. Staying in a hotel for this one night had, however, seemed the sensible thing to do. Leave the guys alone to get on with whatever they did the night before weddings. She might have spoiled that dynamic.

Daniel was best man and wished to spend the eve of the wedding looking after the groom, something he considered his duty. Also, something Francine believed he might have wanted to do even if he weren't the best man. It seemed right to her that he do so, therefore she bowed out. The men could have their moments sandwiched between the times she would be spending with her lover on this trip.

As the word 'lover' rolled around in her head, she contemplated it. Daniel was her lover, but it did not seem the correct language to use to describe their relationship. Problem was, Francine was not certain what the proper term would be. Boyfriend seemed to her like a teen expression, too young for their mature years. Partner appeared too much like a life long commitment, and she was not sure either of them was ready for that yet. Beau, flame, steady, date. None of them was quite right.

If Francine was committed to any man in this world, Daniel was the guy. They had feelings for each other. Feelings neither of them had expected to have when they started out on what she anticipated would be a casual fling. One thing she was certain of, however, was that this relationship with Daniel was far from casual.

Only a few weeks before, Daniel had talked about them faking it. Playing it by ear. It was the same night he stashed the ever-present photograph of his late wife in a draw. That told Francine a lot about how he felt, that he was ready to let their relationship evolve into whatever they might make of it. A commitment, of sorts, she knew.

Snorting, she remembered the relationship had started because of today's bride and groom. She had taken a shine to her neighbor, Jack O'Neill. He was a fox, he really was. Sam was a lucky woman. But on reflection, Francine knew that she was the lucky one - to have met a guy like Daniel.

She might be reluctant to admit it sometimes, but he was special to her. No one had come this close to that in the longest time. Francine had not let them. With Daniel, she felt different - like she was an exceptional woman because he had chosen to care about her. It was a great feeling.

He could be inept and gauche, distracted by his work and inattentive, a little eccentric and often intense and provocative. But he was also sweet, gentle and kind, thoughtful and loving, and when Daniel did give her his attention he could give it full on. He was one of the brightest men she had ever had the pleasure to meet, and darned sexy with it.

Daniel deserved to know she felt something… more for him. Every time they talked about feelings, she seemed to give him a bone but then withdraw it again. They could both be quite cagey, it seemed. But during that conversation where he suggested they faked it, he had given so much of himself. More than she had understood at the time.

In response, she reminded him that commitment scared the hell out of her. Not quite the enthusiastic reception she could have given to what appeared to have been an invitation to his heart. He had tossed her the ball and she had thrown it back instead of running with it.

Commitment scared him too. She realized that. This was why she had to say something. Throw him that bone without burying it again.

Decisively, she rose from her chair and grabbed her cell phone from her handbag, pressing the speed dial for his number. It was still early. Maybe too early, but she had the urge to speak to him. To hear his voice and confess… something.

"Francine!" he exclaimed with genuine warmth when he picked up the call.

"Hey."

"Hey to you too."

Francine liked to imagine his expression as all grins while he spoke. She pictured one of his most appealing smiles and kept the image in her head, smiling herself.

"How are you guys? In a panic?"

"Jack isn't up yet."

"Oh! I called too early?"

"It is a little early. But he's awake I think. I'm up."

"Wish I had been there to help you wake up." She drawled the words seductively and Daniel pictured her waggling her eyebrows and pouting her lips seductively. Nice image!

He chuckled. "You sure can find interesting ways to wake up a man."

"Mmmm… later, big boy."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Please do."

A silence hung between them for a while as they contemplated the later she referred to.

"So, how was it last night?" she asked, breaking the tension.

"Surprisingly calm."

"Ah!"

There was a pause at the other end. "Ah?" Daniel queried. "What's that mean?"

"Calm before a storm and all that, maybe? Don't tell me the groom isn't nervous."

"Too calm."

"Exactly. Ah!"

"You figure he'll freak this morning?"

"You know him better than me, Daniel. But what groom wouldn't be anxious on the big day?"

Remembering the day he married Sha're, Daniel could not help but agree. It was a very different kind of ceremony to Jack and Sam's, but with the same purpose. He had been both delighted and terrified, and did not know which one predominated. There was a point, though, when he simply became serene. Peace descended and settled inside him as if he had been born for that moment. He hoped Jack would feel like that because it was one of the most incredible feelings Daniel had ever experienced.

"Yeah," he responded monosyllabically, conscious that he did not wish to tell her what he had been thinking about.

"How about you?" she asked, knowing he was apprehensive too.

"Me?"

"Nervous?"

He drew in a breath. "Um, yes."

"You'll be fine."

"Sure." He did not sound it.

"You'll be great, Daniel. Perfect man for the job. Jack wouldn't have chosen you if he didn't think so, right?"

"I guess…" She could still detect the doubt in his voice but figured nothing she could say would make any difference. "Um, I was making breakfast when you called so is there anything specific you wanted?"

Initially Francine wondered if he was trying to brush her off but, on reflection, she realized Daniel was probably just stressed. It was a big day today and he had a lot to do. She had to get to the point, but how?

"Just a quick chat. Checking on the men folk," she said lightheartedly, but beneath the veneer she was fretful, wondering how to phrase what she wanted to say.

"I'm glad you called."

"Yeah. Me too." Pausing uncertainly, Francine took a deep breath and plunged onward to the main purpose of her call. "You know I'm falling for you, don't you Daniel?" She thought she heard a muffled gasp before silence descended. There, she had said it. Maybe not enough, but something. The bone.

"I, um, I…" he stammered before silence descended again, obviously uncertain how to react. Her inept timing as well as her words flustered him. Broaching this on Jack and Sam's wedding day, a day when Daniel was attempting to stay calm and collected, was so entirely the wrong moment. As Jack might say, for cryin' out loud…! But so like Francine. She was not exactly renowned for her subtlety, although Daniel had discovered she had her moments. Many of them.

Francine was vaguely amused by his stumbling reaction, but also worried. Maybe she had read too much into that conversation a few weeks back. But if he was willing to try moving on from Sha're, then why tell her if he was not moving on with her?

"I just wanted you to know."

"F-Francine…"

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. I just wanted… that's all." In fact, she desperately needed him to say something, but did not want to push. If she was wrong about Daniel's feelings, things could grow awkward between them and she did not want that.

"I, um, I… me too," he finally admitted. "Falling, that is. Fallen, actually."

She figured he must have heard her sigh of relief. "Fallen…" she repeated.

"Er… is that… um… is that okay with you?" The uncertainty was still there, she noticed.

"You need permission?" she said with a grin. Fallen? Wow. She suspected as much, but this was the first real confirmation. They had been pussyfooting around for quite some time now. Being evasive, avoiding too much. Daniel had made a big gesture when he put away that photograph of Sha're. Francine's small confession was her big gesture. She needed to do more. "Fallen is probably right. Yeah. Fallen. Me too."

Francine wondered what Daniel was thinking. He knew how she felt about commitment. This was something big for her, but was it enough for him? At least for now?

"I wish I could see your face," he said. "Just… see your expression."

"I'm grinning. A regular Cheshire cat."

"That got the cream?"

Francine was envisaging that smile again. "A whole bucket full," she said humorously, tittering softly.

"That sounds kind of good."

"It is. But it doesn't have to mean anything. Not unless you want it to." Her words echoed his during that conversation she kept recalling. He had not wished to scare her off she realized now. So he had retreated, and at the same time protected his heart with slight flippancy.

There was a long pause before he replied. "I want it to," he admitted at last. Francine nodded, grinning madly, and then remembered he could not see her.

"So, that commitment thing… it's… we're…" she started, petering out because she did not know what else to say.

"Commitment is what today is all about, isn't it?" he tried inserting helpfully, urging her on.

"Fitting then, huh?"

"Um, yeah, you could say that."

"Does this mean we're going steady?" she asked in a jokily girlish tone and he laughed.

"Practically engaged," he retorted with equal jocularity, but they both recognized the gravity of their intent. "Seriously, Francine I'm… er… I'm really pleased you called. That you said… well, you know… what you said."

She heard him suck in a breath and, like him, wished she could see his expression. Never mind, they had lots of time. She started to wonder how easy it might be to move to the Springs, closer to him. Francine could not picture Daniel being the one to make that move. He was dedicated to his work while she was not. 'Whoa, girl!' she thought. 'Moving fast here. Press the brake pedal and slow down a little.'

"I-I needed to. Couldn't wait any longer," she mumbled.

"Not even a couple of hours?" His tone had an exuberant edge.

"Waited too long already, I think. Rotten timing, I guess, but you know me." She took a deep breath. "You're a special person, Daniel. Very special."

"You too."

Suddenly, Francine felt a little awkward. This was a conversation best continued face to face. "I missed you last night," she said.

"Me too," he agreed readily.

"I know you're busy. I'd better go. Get my own breakfast. What you making for the guys? Pancakes?" She loved it when he made pancakes. Delicious.

"Yep. I'll whip some up for you tomorrow if you like. We can have breakfast in bed."

Francine imagined that cheeky grin of his again. "Okay," she replied with a chuckle. "Think food fight." Daniel laughed.

"Actually, I had in mind feeding you."

She could picture that scenario perfectly. Daniel feeding her as a prelude to some great lovemaking. She could almost hear him smirking down the phone.

"Nice one, rock boy," she teased. "Hold that thought."

"I will."

"See you later."

Hanging up, Francine reflected on the conversation, happy she had thrown Daniel that bone and he had run with it. In a pensive mood, she made her way down to breakfast. A hearty meal to keep her going until later. She eschewed the hotel pancakes because she thought no way could they be as good as Daniel's – and not even close to being as much fun.

Tomorrow morning… She grinned happily at the thought, secretly hoping there could be many such mornings. Francine was beginning to think she might get used to the idea of a whole lifetime of them.

After breakfast, she returned to her room, meticulously preparing for the day ahead. Once ready, she appraised herself in the mirror.

"You look pretty darned fine girl!" she exclaimed aloud. "Even if you do say so yourself." Glancing at her watch, she realized it was nearly time to leave.

Francine was ready for Jack and Sam's big day.

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Excited by the intent of Francine's call, after they disconnected Daniel sat for a few moments staring at his cell phone. He had to gather himself for a while before returning to complete his original task – taking coffee to Jack, and alerting him to the imminence of breakfast.

Francine had knocked him for a loop. Apparently, their relationship had just moved up a level. It was a big deal for her, he realized, and quite a surprise. A nice surprise. Jack had been right to call him on his feelings for her and Daniel had given it a lot of thought since their conversation about her a few weeks before.

For him, sweeping away the visible signs of his previous marriage was significant. He had not been certain Francine had grasped that, despite what he had said about being time for him to move on. Daniel had realized he was willing to make something more of their relationship, but had been wondering if she was.

Sure, they got along. Better than he originally imagined. She was terrific company, made him laugh, helped him relax. There were many bonuses.

Living so far apart had been one of them for a long time, but recently he had been less sure about it being an upside. Daniel wanted the chance and time for more. Francine might be the one, he thought. With the way she made him feel, this was entirely possible. It was kind of scary, but sometimes in life a person is required to have faith.

Francine had a habit of backing off and reminding him she did not do commitment. Daniel knew some things about her past that meant he understood why. This combination made faith harder to come by. Nevertheless, he had never been willing to let it go. He had to keep trying, even if it took him months to comprehend that this was what he was doing.

So, despite that he knew she liked him and enjoyed his company, Daniel had lacked certainty of late. Particularly once he had made up his mind to go for it, as Jack had suggested – to not allow his memory of Sha're stand in the way of something that might be very different, but was still special.

Now it seemed Francine wanted to go for it too, and he could not have been more delighted. Daniel wanted to tell Jack he had been right, but today was not the day for that. Today was Jack's day.

The thought brought him abruptly back to reality. He had a job to do. Jack still had not made an appearance and Daniel had to finish making breakfast. Francine's call had interrupted him right in the middle of mixing the pancake batter and he had returned to his bedroom to be alone for their chat. He imagined that was just as well. The conversation had not been of the type he wanted to have in front of his friend, Teal'c, however close they were.

Plenty of time to ruminate later, he thought, getting up and suppressing his excitement to deal with matters that were more prosaic.

Now to get Jack out of his lair.

A few minutes later with coffee in hand for Jack, Daniel was poised to knock on the spare bedroom door. He paused as he noticed a piece of paper stuck there. A note in the recognizable scrawl his friend called handwriting.

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes," it read, and Daniel grinned to himself. Then, already exuberant after his conversation with Francine, he chuckled, wondering when Jack had put it there. It was going to be one of those days it seemed.

Knocking, he heard Jack grunt what he presumed to be permission to enter.

"Haven't had my five minutes yet," Jack griped jokily as he walked in and Daniel laughed.

"I've got coffee…" Daniel replied, indicating the cup. Jack smiled lopsidedly.

Eyeing the coffee, he was thinking caffeine might not be the optimal drug of choice on a day when he needed to keep his cool. Daniel too. They could both end up hyper and hanging from the ceiling by their nails. A sedative would be more appropriate in the circumstances and he briefly considered asking Daniel if he had any Valium, amused by the notion. Nevertheless, he took the cup.

No way in hell was his best man going to get through this day without coffee. If you can't beat 'em… yadda, yadda, yadda.

"What? Breakfast in bed?" he quipped humorously, keeping his thoughts about hyperactivity, ceilings and nails to himself.

"Huh! You've got to be kidding. Call this breakfast? Pancakes will be coming up in a few minutes."

"Pancakes?" Jack said enthusiastically, his eyebrows shooting up into a symbol of surprise mixed with pleasure. "Maple syrup?" he asked expectantly.

"And bacon." Daniel's voice held an enticing tone and the other side of Jack's mouth twitched, joining the already crooked one to form a cheeky grin.

"You sure know how to spoil a guy," he said.

"Yeah well, pancakes are about the only breakfast I'm any good at. Cooking isn't exactly my area of expertise."

"You and me both. So where'd you learn to make the pancakes?" Jack asked curiously. He had sampled Daniel's pancakes before and his friend made darned fine ones.

"Actually, from Sarah Gardner. She said she refused to date a man whose idea of breakfast was coffee followed by more coffee. Pancakes were her favorite, so she taught me." Daniel's smile became wistful, filled with memories.

"My Sara made great pancakes," Jack commented with an equally reflective grin.

"As good as mine?" Daniel teased.

"Could any pancakes be as good as yours?"

Although he detected a hint of sarcasm in Jack's tone, Daniel was confident of his pancake making skills so ignored the jibe. He knew Jack loved his pancakes. This was why he was making the effort for his friend's wedding day.

"I got lots of practice," he replied.

"I bet that's not all you were practicing," Jack responded, winking.

Jack's jaunty personal comment surprised him, but Daniel retorted immediately. "That would be a yes." The two men smirked at each other, but the younger man could feel his face starting to flush and changed the subject. "So, how you feeling?"

"Didn't you read my note?" Jack replied with a gleam in his mischievous eyes.

Daniel grinned. "Nervous then, huh?"

Jack looked him in the eye and lied outright, his now blank expression giving nothing away. "Actually, I'm good."

"Sure." Daniel looked skeptical.

"What, you don't believe me?" He maintained eye contact with his friend, a steady piercing gaze. Jack did not want to admit how anxious he really was. He could not allow himself to give in to it. Talking about it might make it more real, and maybe worse. As with so many other things, he wanted to bury it in as deep and dark a place as possible.

Daniel's disbelieving look grew increasingly doubtful. "Um, that would be a no. Besides, the note says differently."

"Yeah, well it's been way more than five minutes." He pulled his eyes away, glancing down at his mug of coffee. "Come on! A joke's a joke, Daniel."

Jack's tone was jovial but Daniel knew he was lying and Jack knew he knew. Neither of them said anything. A moment of tension passed between them before Jack allowed the aroma of freshly brewed coffee to distract him, taking a long sniff of his mug before taking a sip.

"Nice!" he raised his eyes to meet Daniel's again and stared at him unflinchingly, as if defying him to return to the subject of how he was feeling. "Is the big guy around?" he asked.

Daniel's eyes narrowed as he wavered over whether to call Jack on his uneasiness. It was obvious to Daniel, no matter how much Jack tried to lead him astray, but he decided to say nothing further about it. If his friend wanted to talk about it, he would. More than likely, he would keep it to himself.

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen," Daniel replied.

"Okay, so let's get movin'."

If Jack was quieter than normal as they ate breakfast and then got ready, neither Daniel nor Teal'c commented upon it. Jack was grateful. He was managing to control those errant nerves of his and did not want anything to disturb that relative calm.

This was not what Daniel had expected, which had been some panic and bluster. The peace was a relief to him because he recalled worrying about keeping Jack under control. It seemed Jack was the one keeping him in check. But was that not often the way? The two men were very different characters, checking and balancing each other. It seemed to work okay – some of the time.

Time passes quickly. Sometimes too quickly. So quickly that when you think you have lots to spare, it bites you on the ass and you've suddenly run out of it. This was the way of things that morning. When the car arrived to pick them up, Jack was so taken aback he thought it must have got there way too early. Glancing at his watch, however, he realized it was punctual. Holy crap, it was time!

"To infinity and beyond!" he joked, making a Buzz Light-Year type gesture with his arm, and Daniel laughed. Even Teal'c grinned. Being such a movie buff, he got the reference.

Jack got up to lead the way out but as he passed Daniel, his best man touched his arm and caught his eye, a small reassuring smile on his lips.

"End of the yellow brick road, Jack?" he commented in a low voice.

"Sure," Jack agreed with a chuckle. "The Wizard's waiting."

They were ready for Jack and Sam's big day.

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As she started walking down the aisle, everyone's eyes turned toward her. Sam tried to focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Her brother felt her trembling and squeezed her arm supportively. She glanced at Mark and he smiled encouragingly, then she turned her attention back toward reaching her goal. It seemed an awfully long way away. Far further than she remembered from their rehearsal.

She could see Jack beaming at the other end, his smile as radiant as Sam had ever witnessed. He looked happy and unruffled. Sam hoped she looked equally serene because she knew Jack was as nervous as hell, probably just as much as she was. He had confessed this a few days ago and appeared to be hiding it very well indeed. She could not imagine his nerves had simply evaporated.

Now, Sam determinedly concentrated on walking those few steps to join him. Join him. How apt. At the rehearsal, the pastor had told them the wedding was a symbol of the couple joining together. That thought helped a little as she drew closer, trying not to look from side to side at the guests but to focus on reaching Jack.

They were about to become husband and wife. It was terrifying, while also thrilling. Sam knew it was too late to back out now. Not that she wanted to, but she was a little bit scared of failure. She wanted Jack so much, wanted to commit to him like she never had to anyone before, but what if she screwed up? A moment of panic set her heart racing faster, and then she remembered the pastor. Joining together. Always. Never alone. The Jack and Sam motto, right?

As she drew alongside the man she was about to marry, Sam resisted the temptation to finger her necklace - the beautiful trinium pendent Jack had given her and which bore their words of joining in alien script. In reality, they had joined together many years ago. Before the necklace, even before their first kiss. Neither of them had known it back then.

The pastor looked down at his prayer book as if he did not know the words by heart and started to speak. The ceremony had begun.

Taking her hand in his, Jack squeezed gently and Sam looked up at him with a warm and loving smile. He matched her smile with a heart stuttering grin, eyes shimmering with joy. They could feel each other shaking slightly as they touched and drew some reassurance from their mutual tension.

Sam thought he looked very handsome in his uniform. The Air Force blue, the shirt and tie, the plethora of medals and the stars on his shoulders were perfect for him - a fitting image of military discipline, authority and heroism for their wedding day. She knew he was not overly keen on wearing the full gear, preferred the casual to stiff formality, but Sam loved those dress blues on him. He looked totally edible, and she so enjoyed any opportunity she got to strip that uniform slowly away from his tall, lean frame.

Later. For now, she took a breath and tried to concentrate on the Pastor's words.

Jack knew it was a cliche but didn't give a rat's ass. Sam looked a million dollars, and was worth way more than that. Priceless. As soon as he took her hand in his, his edginess ceased and a soothing sense of harmony took hold. This was so the right thing. No doubts, no nervousness - just right.

He could see she had done something very different with her hair and looked forward to running his fingers through it, sensually removing her dress, her jewelry, her underwear. A long, languorous seduction of his bride. His wife – Mrs O'Neill! A thrilled tingle ran through him as he pictured what she might be wearing under that beautiful facade. Knowing Sam, it would be sensuous and sexy.

Later. For now, he took a breath and tried to concentrate on the Pastor's words.

And Jack never let her hand go, squeezing it as gentle support while Sam held on tight, quivering nervously and excitedly in his grasp. Even through their vows, even through the exchange of rings, even as they touched lips in their first kiss as Mr and Mrs O'Neill. He held on to her, giving her strength and receiving it throughout the entire service.

They had made it. Emerald City.

TBC


	41. Never Alone: No Place Like Home

It's been a long time coming but here, at last, is a new and FINAL CHAPTER in this series, so the fic is now complete. About time too! There are two versions of this final chapter available. This is the Age 13+ version. You can read an adult only version on my Fic with Fins website. If you are interested, see link on the What's New section of the main index page.

Be warned, it's a long chapter! I hope you enjoy it and would love to hear from you to tell me what you think. I love that feedback, folks.

Su

Title: Never Alone 41: No Place Like Home

Content Warnings: Mild language and sexual situations

Summary: "Grow old with me! The best is yet to be." Robert Browning

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to Never Alone 40: Yellow Brick Road

Status: Complete. Final part of a continuing series.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2009 Su Freund

Author's Note:

1. I am extremely grateful to Astra (or DieAstra) who was inspired by what I wrote in an earlier chapter about the bet Jack lost with Sam that means he has to play at being her slave for a few days. Astra sent me a scenario that I have used in this chapter, and many of her original words remain. However, I have taken that scenario, and her words, and tweaked and re-written to make it my own. She has not read what I've done with it yet, so I hope she enjoys it. Thanks old friend! :-)

2. As usual, I am very grateful to my beta reader, ImmerRDA, for her invaluable help with this fic. She has saved both me and readers from many errors as well making some terrific suggestions that have enhanced the story. Any remaining blunders, of course, are entirely my own. I'd also like to thank her for relating a short RL story about her own marriage that I thought was so lovely (lucky ImmerRDA!) and so J&S that I unashamedly used it in this story - with her permission, naturally. Thank you, my friend. *g*

3. Lastly, I'd like to thank all of you people who have read and enjoyed this series, and this final chapter. It has been a long road to travel and some readers have dropped by the wayside during the journey. My Never Alone muse has deserted me frequently and RL has eaten away at much of my spare time, but I have worked long and hard on this series when I was able to – blood, sweat and tears, and it's not like I get paid. Wish I did. :-) Therefore, the reward for all my work is that you enjoy the story and, even better, that you tell me so. I genuinely appreciate you sticking with it and all the encouraging feedback you have given me over the many months since I started this series. Hugs to you all!

**Never Alone 41: No Place Like Home**

_"Grow old with me! The best is yet to be." Robert Browning_

The airport was a zoo. Something to do with unattended baggage and security. Flights delayed, people evacuated. Once the small misunderstanding was cleared up, a little of what might be called chaos ensued. They were stuck on the plane for way longer than was usual, then had to wend their way through the mess in the airport. By the time they made it to the car Jack and Sam were frazzled. What a way to end an otherwise great honeymoon!

Briefly, Jack considered finding a hotel for the night instead of driving back to Colorado Springs, but they only had a couple more days to themselves before he had to take yet another flight. This time back to DC and away for heaven knew how long from his brand new wife. So all the couple really wanted to do was make it home and spend their last precious hours together in the total privacy that only being in one's own comfort zone can provide.

Not that they had lacked privacy on their honeymoon, you understand, but no matter how opulent and blissful the surroundings elsewhere, there genuinely is no place quite like home. Sure, their two weeks had been glorious, as they should be when you spend an arm and a leg to obtain as much luxury as possible.

There was the sun and sea and white sands stretching for what seemed like miles on end; the incredible food and the exotic cocktails containing a cornucopia of fruit salad and umbrellas on small sticks; the dancing cheek to cheek well into the small hours of the morning; the pool and Jacuzzi, and finding as many ways to have fun together in said Jacuzzi as is possible; the magnificently gigantic bed and the loving making. Oh, boy, the loving making. Lots of it.

After all the extravagant sumptuousness, now they were back in the dreary grey skied, cooler climes of Colorado, home sounded way more inviting than any ordinary old hotel. So, Jack drove homeward, frequently glancing over at his new wife dozing peacefully in the passenger seat, his head filled with fond wistfulness.

The wedding almost seemed like a dream now and a wedding is just a wedding, right? Not so right. The memories conjured happy thoughts, which sure beat the heck out of getting overly irritated by heavy traffic.

Making those vows, finally becoming Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill, had to top many of Jack's previous and more positive life experiences.

Sam looking perfect in her wedding dress; beautiful and mind-bogglingly sexy.

Her hair especially made long for the occasion, albeit piled alluringly on top of her pretty little head.

Placing those rings on each other's fingers, and her delighted look of surprise when she realized exactly how special and unique they really were – so worth all the effort he, Daniel and Siler had made to obtain and fashion the trinium.

His equal surprise and delight when he realized she had made similar efforts with her unique headband.

Kissing the new Mrs. O'Neill for the first time, even just the witnessing of which must have made the congregation breathless, let alone the happy couple who did said kissing.

Crossing under the arch of sabers, traditionally meant to ensure safe passage into their new life together.

Basking in the hugs, kisses, handshakes and words of gleeful congratulation after the ceremony.

Cutting the cake blinded to almost everything else but the look of pure love and happiness in Sam's eyes; the frisson of excitement as he placed his hand over hers to wield the knife.

Mark and Daniel's surprisingly amusing and almost totally inoffensive speeches at the reception.

Their first dance as a married couple.

All these things were extra special memories of the occasion.

Then there was his seduction. The first time they made love as Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill. Suddenly feeling a little bit horny, Jack's thoughts turned to this while he drove, a large smile creeping over his features as he remembered.

Their wedding reception, held in a plush Colorado Springs hotel, was in full swing. It seemed like virtually everyone was enjoying themselves - eating and drinking too much, dancing, lots of bantering conversation. The happy couple were having a great time socializing with their friends and soaking up the great atmosphere.

When Sam excused herself to change out of her dress, Jack followed, stopping Betsy in her tracks as she was sidling out to assist her friend.

"No, Betsy," he said. "My wife, my duty and honor to help her get changed."

Betsy's eyes widened, her lips forming into a smirk. "I bet that's not all you have in mind, Jack O'Neill."

"No comment," he replied with a sly grin, swiftly moving away so he could catch Sam before she started undressing, something he fully intended to do for her.

His wife was at first astonished and then elated as he entered the bedroom, her eyes sparkling with delight.

"Jack!"

"Don't move a muscle, Mrs. O'Neill," he replied in an affectionate tone. Sam's eyebrows arched curiously, although she figured she knew what he had in mind.

"Are you having lascivious thoughts, Mr. Scarecrow?" she asked with amusement.

"Lascivious? Don't throw those complicated four syllable words at me. I don't even know what that means," he joked, crossing the room and taking her into his arms as she giggled in response. "Alone at last, and other such cliches!" he exclaimed lightheartedly, touching his lips softly to hers and then deepening the kiss. Sam tasted real good, he recalled, champagne, strawberries and a hint of cinnamon coming to mind. Sugar and spice and all things nice, that's what little girls are made of. You betchya!

"I want to make love to someone called Mrs. O'Neill," he whispered tenderly as their lips parted. "She's my wife, ya know."

"Betsy…" she started when she caught her breath.

"Is not coming."

"Ah!" She smiled, stroking his cheek with her fingers.

"Wife. Jeez, Sam, I'm not sure it feels real yet. We're married."

"Yep," she said with a huge grin. "But how much difference does it really make? Does it change us?"

"Sure it makes a difference, otherwise why bother?" he retorted, eyeing her incredulously. "It tells me and everyone else that you belong to me."

"I didn't mean…" she tailed off with her reassurance, his words sinking in, and quirked an eyebrow. "Belong to you?" she queried, knowing he did not intend it the way it sounded but thinking she should pick him up on it anyway. Jack did not view her as a possession. He saw her as a partner. A life partner.

"Ack!" he exclaimed, gesturing slight irritation because he realized Sam was being pedantic. "You know what I mean. That we belong to each other, with each other, together. Never alone and all that stuff."

"That's been true for years."

Tilting his head as if considering her words, Jack offered one of his wistful partial smiles in response. "So are we gonna argue semantics or am I gonna make love to my wife?"

"Semantics? Complicated words, Jack," she responded mockingly.

"Only three syllables. I'm kind of okay with those," he retorted and she seemed amused. Jack so loved that Sam enjoyed his sense of humor. The ability to make your partner laugh can go far in a marriage. Long may that continue, he thought. Like forever.

"Aw, shut up and get on with it, husband," she replied, smirking in that cute way she had. Another thing he loved was her smile, those sexy little dimples.

"My pleasure. Yours too I hope." He flashed a grin that he hoped was suitably charming. Jack knew she got as much of a kick out of his smile as he got out of hers. Something else he hoped would continue. In fact, he had a whole catalog of stuff he wanted them to enjoy together for the rest of their lives. That's part of the point of getting hitched in the first place, right? Amen to never getting bored with each other but to growing together into old age, he thought.

"Inevitably," she said with no hint of sarcasm or ridicule and he had to admit their sex lives were pretty darned good most of the time. Amen to that too.

"Is that a compliment?" he responded with a wink and she threw him a mock scowl. "Alright already. Getting on with it, okay?"

She did not reply, simply waiting for Jack to make his move, and he took her left hand in his, pulling it gently to his lips and kissing her wedding band. Eyes seeking hers, he captured her in a mesmerizing gaze. A small smile quirked his lips as he lifted them from the ring and pecked her hand with soft kisses, moving along the length of her arm.

When he reached her shoulder, he let go of her hand and pulled his eyes away, instead examining her delicately flawless flesh in minute detail. His hands caressed her back with a whisper of a touch and then he pulled back, placing a finger on her lips as a warning to stay silent.

Moving behind her, he slowly opened each button on her wedding dress, his breath murmuring like a faint breeze on her skin, which goose-bumped at the touch. Sam sighed, muttering his name under her breath, and he smiled with delight at her pleasure.

Wedding dress undone at last, he urged her to step out of it and carefully laid it over a chair, warning her not to move.

"Beautiful," he breathed faintly as he moved to face her again and gently grasped her shoulders with the tips of his fingers. She looked up into his eyes and smiled happily and then he framed her face with his hands, pulling her into a deep and passionate kiss. Eagerly, she pulled his shirt from his pants and caressed him.

"No!" he whispered breathlessly as he halted the kiss, grasping her arms to stop her. "No, not yet."

Sam gave him a quizzical look but nodded and obeyed, trusting his lead. She brushed his cheek with a finger, her eyes begging him to continue.

"Nothing I'd like more," he said in response to her unspoken request, promptly enveloping her mouth with his, the kiss hotter and more furious than before.

Sam trembled, clutching his jacket, longing to pull it off, and Jack knew he had her, had captivated her. She was his and it felt real good.

As he eased his mouth away from hers, she gasped, seemingly not wanting him to stop. Her eyes implored but she said nothing, still content that he lead their lovemaking as he wished.

Jack smiled, gently pecking the end of her nose and keeping her eyes captured with his while reaching up to remove the headband from her hair. Briefly, he looked at it before thrusting it into his pocket.

"O'Neill and Carter, for pity's sake?" he commented with a hint of amusement at the words Sam had got engraved on the inside of the band.

"It's so us, don't you think?" she countered with a smirk.

"Mmmm…" he said, nodding. "I guess it reflects our lives so far better than Jack and Sam."

"Don't forget the 'Never Alone' part," she said, reminding him she had also got the headband engraved with those words in alien script.

"Where this all started. Think I could forget that?" He tenderly fondled the necklace he had given her for her birthday. The present she had habitually worn since then and that had started their relationship down this track.

Jack never dropped his eyes from hers as he slowly loosened her long hair, removing each hair grip and adornment that kept it in place. While doing so, his fingers tenderly moved through her scalp or brushed over her face and, occasionally, he would lean down to sweep his lips over her forehead, cheek or neck. After each touch of his lips, his eyes would meet hers again and continue to watch her intently.

Jack could see she was getting as much pleasure from this as he was. Her glistening eyes and her rapt expression told him everything he wanted to know.

Finally, he loosed her hair from its captivity and ran his fingers over and through it, a huge smile appearing on his lips as he stared, drinking in the sight of her.

"It suits you long," he commented. "I like it."

"I'm so pleased you do, Jack. I'm thinking of growing it out."

"Sweet! A plan I heartily approve of."

She smiled, obviously happy he thought it was a good idea too, and he took her into a close embrace. His hands caressed her back and Sam gasped in expectation. He did not intend to disappoint her.

"I love you, Mrs. Scarecrow," he murmured in her ear, and she chuckled at his reference to her inane pet name for him.

"Love you too… Mr. Dorothy."

Jack's head snapped back and he cocked an eyebrow, then he chortled with amusement, leaning into her neck again. "Mr. Dorothy?" he queried with a whisper of hot breath in her ear, pleased when she quivered delightedly.

"Well, why not?"

He shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. "Why not indeed?"

Their entertaining repartee might have distracted them from their purpose, but it did not. For a few moments, they swayed in each other's arms and then he gently pulled away, maneuvering her toward the bed.

"Wish I could say otherwise, but we haven't got all day," he said. "We are, after all, the guests of honor at this shindig. People will miss us."

Sam smiled. "In that case, I suggest it's my turn to undress you," she said, reaching for his tie and, however great his urge was to seduce her, Jack found the offer to reciprocate irresistible.

"Do your worst, wife," he said with a grin, so she did. While she removed his clothing, Jack unashamedly but comically grouched about the sorry state his dress blues would be in after her mistreatment of them. Sam threw him a long-suffering look, rolling her eyes indulgently.

"Well, Mr. Dorothy, as you said, we haven't got all day…"

His response was a smug grin, but Jack took his time. He enjoyed long seductions and, despite what he had said about being missed by their guests, he didn't really care about that. He wanted to make love to his wife as slowly and gently as was humanly possible.

Jack knew Sam was delighted when she had first discovered he lived up to her high expectations in the lovemaking department. It so easily could have been otherwise, which would have been enormously disappointing. Sam said she had never wanted to imagine that someone as sexy and sensual as him could be a disappointment in bed, although the thought had crossed her mind. When she had allowed herself to contemplate making love to him at all, anyway - back in those dim and distant days before they became a couple.

Sometimes, Sam had indulged herself with the notion of making love to her CO, and Jack had had similar fantasies about her. Most of the time, however, they both tried to avoid thinking about each other in that way at all. It was too painful and downright irksome to contemplate.

Now they were married, something neither of them had ever really considered might happen back then. No, then they had thought they could never live up to their mutual expectations. Both vaguely supposed they might act to get it out of their systems, but would never truly be a couple. They were so different yet had too many similarities and never really assumed it would work out for them no matter how much they might want it.

Yeah to Sam, Jack had been a surprise and, when it came down to it, she had been an equal surprise to him. Anticipation can play havoc. Disappointment can seem almost inevitable.

This was one additional reason they had gone round in circles for so long. It was not as simple as Jack being her CO, and certainly not that once they had become free to date each other but remained firmly apart; a couple in waiting, if you will. Nor was it just a matter of misunderstanding each other's intentions and feelings. It was also fear. Fear of failure, fear of disenchantment.

He knew they had both felt it because they had talked around the issue. They were getting pretty good at that these days; discussing their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, anyway, which was better than never, he supposed.

At one time, Jack would never have believed this to be possible. Nor had Sam. Not with a man like him, nor with her being as anally retentive and uptight as she could be sometimes. She brought out the best in him and he liked to think he did the same to her.

Just as well given they had gotten themselves married. They were lucky that their spark turned into genuine passion and love.

Jack sighed quietly to himself, briefly eyeing his sleeping wife before turning back to concentrate on the road. His thoughts had wandered away from that first occasion they had made love after their wedding. It was a bad habit, wandering thoughts. He knew he'd done good that day. So had Sam. Real good. The best. Sure, they had taken far longer lovemaking than they probably should have, given they had wedding guests to consider. Who gave a rat's ass what their guests thought anyway? They'd just got married, for crying out loud. They were entitled, weren't they?

The memory was special. The whole day had been special, but it was far from the only exceptional memory of recent weeks. The honeymoon too. That sure was something else.

Jeez, he really loved the woman and not just with his body but with everything he could give. Corny, he realized, but people talked about loving someone with every fiber of their being and Jack knew what they meant.

He turned to glance at Sam again, smiling indulgently with an expression of adoration. She made him so happy - happier than he had been for a very long time before they had overcome the fear and reservations to become a couple at last. Their bad moments had only made them stronger, for which he would be eternally grateful. They would have more bad moments, he realized that. Nothing is perfect. But this would be a good marriage; he knew it in his bones.

Jack wanted to reach out to her and touch, wanted to say something, almost anything, simply to communicate with his wife in any way he could. He resisted but his heart hammered in his chest and his stomach churned excitedly as he looked at her. So peaceful, so beautiful, so everything he could possibly wish for.

Taking a deep breath to quell the outbreak of butterflies, Jack forced his eyes back to the road again. He needed to get them home. Once there he could touch, he could speak, he could make love to her. They only had a couple of more days to share before work would force them apart again and Jack wanted to make the most of them.

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Sam felt the occasional glance her newly minted husband gave her while he was silently driving. It had been a long day, fraught with frustrating obstacles to their journey, and she pretended to sleep to make time for her tumbling thoughts.

They spent two wonderful weeks together; weeks of love and lovemaking, lazily lying on the beach and doing all the other things one does on a honeymoon. Time had passed so quickly. Where had it gone? They were nearly home and, though Jack might think it, Sam had not forgotten the bet they had made while he was fall-down drunk after his bachelor party. He lost the bet. He owed her and, in theory, it was time to pay. Her slave for the first thirty days spent together after their honeymoon.

'You betchya,' she thought, although Sam was having doubts and had been trying to talk the whole idea up to herself. 'You won't know what hit you, General O'Neill. Mrs. O'Neill is so gonna get ya! Mrs. O'Neill…' she pondered dreamily, her mind wandering. 'Never thought this day would come and now you have to get used to it, Samantha Carter. O'Neill, shit!'

She wondered how long it took to get used to using a different name, particularly when she would be using two: one for work and one for her life outside – Colonel Samantha Carter, but Mrs. O'Neill. Sure could get confusing, but it was so much more preferable than some hyphenated thing like Carter-O'Neill or O'Neill-Carter.

"Ewww!" She did not realize she had spoken aloud until Jack said something.

"What?"

Ignoring him, she groaned softly as if having a dream filled nap and their silence continued. She could feel his eyes on her and wondered if he was smiling fondly. Possibly. The notion pleased Sam and she could picture the expression on his face. That endearing Jack O'Neill smile. She tried to drive the image from her mind because it was way too distracting and she had some thinking to do before they got home.

Sam was in a bit of a quandary over the bet and had been tossing and turning it around in her head on and off for a while. She had deliberately avoided referring to it for the entirety of their honeymoon. Sure, she had reminded him about it before that, just to be certain he could not pretend he had forgotten. When she reminded him, he had responded with typical Jack like nonchalance.

"Yeah, sure, whatever you want, whenever you want," he said with a careless shrug, as if he was only half listening. Then neither of them had referred to it again.

She did not want to let him get away with reneging but as the time for payment drew closer, Sam kept debating whether she really should hold him to the bet. On the face of it, Jack playing slave for thirty days sounded like fun and it had given her a few naughty ideas to play with. The nearer she came to actually living them, however, the more she started to waver.

For starters, Jack had been very drunk when they made the bet and it seemed a little unfair to take advantage of the fact. It was almost akin to taking candy from a baby, albeit a very overgrown baby. The drunken Jack had been overly confident of winning in that oh so cocky way people can have when too much alcohol has been consumed. She had been sober and wholly aware that he had very little chance of winning in his inebriated condition. The odds had been stacked against him and this made her feel slightly guilty for making the bet in the first place.

Then, thirty days sounded like an awful long time. Okay, so their long periods apart would separate those days, spreading them out over weeks or months, but this very fact was one of the things that made her doubt the whole idea. Sam was not at all certain it was the best way to get their marriage off to the greatest of starts. It might be difficult enough to make their long distance relationship work without the slave thing hanging over their heads for such a long time in those early months of their marriage.

She also had some doubts about how she should handle the whole issuing orders to her husband thing. What should she do? What should she want him to do? How should she play her role as mistress? How far could she go? In many ways, the idea of ordering him around like that made her feel slightly ill at ease. He had been her CO for a very long time and she was kind of in the habit of following his orders.

On the other hand, their relationship since dating had not been like that. Neither of them was the boss. They were not necessarily equals all of the time either, but Jack had not tried to overly dominate her any more than she had tried to control him. She thought he had deliberately been wary of appearing to take advantage of the fact she had been his subordinate for so long. Their relationship would never have worked under those circumstances, they had both known that. Jack had his moments but, overall, theirs was a partnership and they had worked hard to make it one. None of which added up to her feeling 100% relaxed about issuing orders to her husband.

Sure, they had played the odd bedroom games like that, but who hadn't? Well, maybe it was not to everyone's tastes, but Sam figured that kind of thing was fairly common. It wasn't like they went too far. It was just a little bit of fun and they would end up laughing themselves silly about playing such games. She was not so sure Jack would find thirty days worth of it quite so entertaining, particularly when it might involve such loathsome delights as cleaning out the fridge.

Besides, she knew Jack. He might have said he would play her willing slave, but soon enough he would start complaining or trying to wriggle out of something she asked him to do. What then? Would they argue? She definitely did not want that to happen. Sam wanted the fun without the possible bickering - so not a good way to start a marriage.

If she was going to hold him to the bet at all, Sam had to find a way of dealing with it, and she had to start soon. The sooner the better, actually. If she did not do it today she never would, but she probably should not allow Jack to go back on his word no matter how drunk he had been when he had given it. To do that was not necessarily the best way to start their marriage either.

So this was her quandary. Sam was torn but, essentially, she had to treat the whole thing like a game and hope he went along with her. Yeah, a game, that's what it was after all. Just a bit of fun. She could do that. Sure, she could, and she did not necessarily have to hold him to the whole thirty days. She could play it by ear and stop if the whole thing seemed to be getting too far out of hand. She could let him off early for good behavior.

This thought made her smile. Oh yeah, what fun she could have. Who wouldn't? A willing slave that would do everything she wanted… she kinda felt like a kid in a candy store. So many options… as long as she could make them fun for Jack too, it would probably work out okay.

Now, she was looking forward to the game again, determined that she would not vacillate about their little bet any longer.

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Jack must have sensed she was awake because he spoke aloud for the first time in quite a while.

"Bet you wish you had a pair of red slippers so you could tap them together and get home quick, eh Dorothy?" He sighed. "So do I, but we're nearly there."

She turned her head to give him a big smile, which he returned. "How did you know I was awake?" she asked.

"You were asleep?" he retorted with a wicked grin.

"Mmmm… wish I was as clever as you, Mr. Scarecrow."

"Ack, well we can't all be blessed with brains, Dorothy."

The two glanced at each other and chuckled, and then Jack turned to concentrate on driving the final short leg of their trip and Sam majored on studying his profile. Her husband was unbelievably handsome, she thought, and seemed at peace despite the long journey. A bit tired, perhaps, but relaxed. Was she about to disturb that tranquility with her game playing? What she ultimately had in mind, he might enjoy.

"And here we are!" he exclaimed happily as he rolled up into the driveway.

'Let the fun begin,' she thought with a smug expression Jack did not see because he was intent on parking the car.

Hopping out, he sprinted to the front door and opened it, turning toward her expectantly. Then a puzzled look came over his face as she failed to join him so he left the door open and came back to her side of the car. She wondered how long it would take before the crap hit the fan.

He continued to look mystified and bent down to look at her through the window, opening the door.

"Sam, is everything…?" He never got a chance to finish his question.

"Finally!" she said with a stern look on her face. "Next time make it snappy, slave."

Then she held out her hand to him and, for a moment, he seemed slightly perplexed. It was quite endearing to see Jack at a loss for once. This did not happen very often and it did not last long this time. Sam saw the recognition dawn in his eyes and he quickly put an exaggeratedly obsequious expression on his face and took her hand, helping her out of the car.

"Yes, ma'am, of course, ma'am, anything else ma'am wants?" As they came face to face, he grinned cheekily.

Damn him, Sam thought. Slaves should never look that scrumptious. She had to fight hard not to kiss him right then and there, but managed to resist the temptation. Instead, she turned majestically, walking toward the house and then haughtily tossing her head back over her shoulder to face him.

"Slaves, or even husbands, are meant to carry their mistresses, or wives, over the threshold," she announced imperiously.

His expression turned into a teasing frown and he bowed his head in a gesture of obedience. "I'm not sure this particular slave's knees are up to it, but I'll give it my best shot, ma'am."

His tone was sarcastic and Sam felt a small qualm about the state of Jack's poor misused and creaky knees. She knew, however, that her husband was very fit even though he took every opportunity to refer to his aching back, painful knees or any other ailment or ill he could think of.

Jack liked to grumble, but mainly when there was actually nothing wrong with him at all. Unless he had man-flu, of course - that special infirmity many men get where they believe they are sicker than anyone that existed in the entire history of the planet. They make certain you know about it too, normally very vocally in a pitiable manner and minute detail. Naturally, it's just a simple cold. One you had much worse the week before but you don't remember complaining about. That, however, was another matter entirely. Kind of charming in its own way, but he was not going to get away with playing that emotional blackmail card.

"I didn't notice a problem with your knees when we were on vacation, slave, so don't give me any excuses now we're home."

He approached, a wry expression on his face, and picked her up without further ado, sweeping her over the threshold and carefully setting her down in the hallway.

"I was going to do it anyway," he mumbled. "I swear."

Keeping a firm grasp on her as her feet hit the floor, Jack kissed her and then pulled back. In response, Sam tapped him lightly on the cheek with a mock slap.

"Keep your hands off me, slave," she said. "Only touch when ordered to."

Jack's eyebrows arched quizzically but he stepped away, bowing low, and was smirking when he met her eyes again. "Yes, ma'am. Anything you say."

Sam smiled. "You got that right. Anything I say, Jack."

"You might live to regret that order," he retorted, an evil gleam in his eyes.

"We'll see," she said, turning to stride along the hall.

"Thirty days," he muttered under his breath, starting to follow but, without looking at him, she paused and raised a hand to stop him.

"Get the bags, slave," she ordered and without missing a beat Sam continued walking into the house. Once out of sight, she rushed to a window and, hidden behind the curtain, peeked out to observe his reaction. Jack was opening the trunk but glanced over, smiled slyly and then pulled a face at her.

Sam realized he always had had a sixth sense about her; seemed to know when she was watching him. Back in the bad old days, he had tried his damndest to avoid that gaze much of the time. Now he relished it.

As he peered into the trunk, Sam had to giggle when she noticed his face fall. He had obviously forgotten about the sheer quantity of shopping she had done while they were away, almost doubling her original luggage and making for quite a haul. He looked up, scowling at her, and she laughed, a feigned look of innocence on her face and waving at him.

Sam reasoned it was his fault she had bought so much stuff. After all, he had not given her much of a clue about the location of their honeymoon, so she'd had no idea what to pack. She just had to buy the things she didn't take with her, right? Right!

That was her story and she was sticking to it! Although she had packed more than enough for their break - way more than she needed, actually, because after so many years of packing as light as possible for both work and pleasure, she rebelled and went a little crazy. It was her honeymoon, after all, and a girl should have a reasonable bridal trousseau.

Of course, it never hurt to have an excuse to go shopping and almost any rationale would do. Jack's lack of candor about their honeymoon destination was hers and he was gracious enough to humor his wife. He hated shopping, what man doesn't? He sure enjoyed watching her sashay around in new clothes, though, and was always overly eager to remove them. Just like a man, but Sam was not complaining. These days, lovemaking with Jack was her favorite hobby.

Sam put on quite the fashion show while they were away and Jack lapped it all up, participating with energetic enthusiasm. So worth that day she spent shopping while he occupied himself by chilling out with a few cold beers. Time after time, she modeled various new items of attire as a prelude to lovemaking.

Feeling flushed at the memory flash, Sam moved away from the window and walked into the bedroom, waiting for Jack to arrive with the first suitcase. After a while he appeared, huffing and puffing with its weight and grumbling about his back. She merely rolled her eyes indulgently, knowing he exaggerated for effect. The luggage really was not as heavy as he pretended nor was he in such poor physical condition. When she indicated where he should put the case, he happily let it go and approached Sam, eyeing her carefully.

"Don't you think we should talk about this whole slave thing before we start?"

"We've started already, buster, so the short answer is, no. Learn by doing, that's me." She grinned at him and he couldn't help smiling back.

"Okay, but isn't it a bit unfair to start right now? How about tomorrow? Yeah, tomorrow would be better." He nodded to emphasize the point, hands dancing in the air as was his frequent habit. "You know, it was a long flight, and I've been driving and I'm tired… and this really would go faster if you helped me. Just this one time? Please? Pretty please?" His tone held the hint of whine and he pouted, making puppy dog eyes at her.

Sam pretended to consider, tilting her head, regarding him seriously and appearing thoughtful. Then she threw him a disdainful look.

"You really expect me to lend you a hand with these?" she asked with feigned exasperation, giving the case a swift kick. "I don't think so." Her tone was mock Jack O'Neill, and it was his turn to roll his eyes. She smiled sweetly, deciding her slave needed a pleasurable incentive. "But I might consider giving you a kiss as payment for each item you carry in here. How does that sound?"

"Would that be a kiss or a kiss-kiss?" She could see he liked the idea - a lot - and detected from his expression that he was up to something devious.

"Um... a kiss-kiss", she replied cautiously and, before he could ask more questions, she showed him what kind of kiss she had in mind. This was, after all, often the best way to shut up Jack O'Neill.

The kiss was deep and hard, lasting quite some time, and they were slightly breathless when she pulled away.

"Learn by doing," she said again with a huge smile and Jack stared at her silently for a moment, a mischievous look in his eyes.

"And I get one of those for every item I bring in here?" he asked and Sam nodded confirmation, again wondering what he was up to. When he all but ran out of the house for the next item, it was her turn to be puzzled.

"Oh boy. This can't be good. So much for those bad knees!" she muttered under her breath.

Clarity came when Jack jogged back into the room holding up a teeny weenie yellow bikini top, letting it drop onto the bed before he approached and puckering his lips for his reward.

"You sneaky, son of a…" she started, but Jack interrupted.

"A deal's a deal."

Sam sighed heavily, shaking her head and grumbling, but she was smiling – and Jack got his kiss. It started out sweet and light but he wrested control from her, deepening the passion, swirling his tongue around her mouth forcefully while he fervently caressed his wife with his hands. The kiss left her reeling, but Jack appeared infuriatingly unfazed by the experience, smirking evilly as he high-tailed it out to the car again.

He really was a cunning son of a bitch, she thought fondly. Trouble with a capital T. The kind of trouble she could happily live with forever. His sweat smelled alluringly musky, his mouth tasted temptingly hot and sweet. There was something about those Jack O'Neill pheromones, yes sirree.

Next trip out he fetched the matching bikini panties, then the very short skirt she had worn at a beach party they'd attended, then the fishnet stockings she had used one evening to drive Jack completely nuts, and the high heels that had completed the outfit… one shoe at a time.

Each time he got his kiss, and each kiss seemed to last longer and become more passionate.

Sam decided she needed to put a stop to this. Now. Jack had outsmarted her. She could not deny she had specified "each item" but who could have predicted Jack would open a case and literally fetch each one separately? She should have realized! It was a very Jack like plan to conceive. At this rate, they would spend all night unloading the car and that was not what she had had in mind at all. Especially after all those taunting and tempting kisses.

Apparently, her husband would be giving her a hard time during his thirty days of "slavery". Sam would have to make sure she did not make such a mistake again and think her orders – and rewards – through more carefully. She was married to this man? Holy Hannah!

Jack always claimed she was the brains behind the outfit. He was the dumb one, the muscle. It was total bull, of course. In so many ways, he was far smarter than she. Whip-like smart. Sam loved that about him. There was so much more under the surface of the man and that complexity was fascinating and intoxicating. Like the iceberg that sunk the Titanic, he would be the sinking of her.

As she considered her options, Sam enjoyed the kisses. Yeah, they could go on like that all night, if it was his wish… or not. She had other, better plans, so decided to offer an inducement that would draw a halt to his lunacy. He was a gorgeous, sexy, crazy man, sure, but she did not want to wait all night. There is only so much kissing a woman can do before she wants to take the next step, right? Absolutely right when the kissing involved her super hunk of a husband.

"Okay, move it, slave," she said next time he reappeared, this time waving a solitary t-shirt in the air and a hint of triumph on his face. "Or we won't have any time left for that mad, bad sex I had in mind."

She pouted provocatively, removing her sweater in one swift flick of her wrists. Jack stopped in his tracks, his eyes popping out of his head as she gyrated sensually, tossing her long locks in an impersonation of a supermodel on a photo shoot.

He stood there open-mouthed, so taken aback that his reactions slowed to a halt. When he started to move toward her, she raised a finger and wagged it at him admonishingly.

"Tsk, tsk," she said. "Not until the car's unloaded."

She laughed to herself when he bolted for the door then turned and quickly emptied the bed of detritus, hopping under the covers and waiting for him. When he returned, he was groaning under the weight of the luggage he carried, trying to bring as much as possible in at once. Then he saw her lying there.

"Sam…!" he exclaimed in an exasperated manner and she smiled.

"You'll get your reward soon enough, slave boy," she promised. "Now be an obedient chattel and fetch the rest."

He grunted sneeringly and sighed. "Yes, ma'am!" he exclaimed with a sharp salute and she bet he had never had occasion to leave George Hammond's office that rapidly, even when ordered to go. Good old General Hammond could never offer him quite the same kind of incentive. Sam giggled to herself at the thought.

When Jack returned he exclaimed, "That's all of it!" and moved toward her.

"Not quite so fast, vassal of Samantha O'Neill," she said and he froze, surprised.

"But you promised," he whined with a grimace. "Mad, bad sex. You promised!"

"All in good time," she teased. "Strip!"

"W-what?" he stammered with surprise.

"You heard. Strip. Show me what you've got, Scarecrow man. Slowly."

Jack hitched a breath, deciding he could definitely get into this little game. Maybe his thirty days of serfdom would not be so bad after all. Not if Sam offered such tantalizing recompense for every task set.

"No hurry, huh, Dorothy?"

"We're married. We have a lifetime," she replied with a wink.

"Cute," he retorted wryly.

"Well, come on then lover boy." She smiled in an alluring way, slowly licking her lips with her tongue tauntingly.

Jack did not reply, instead turning his back on her to bend over and remove his sneakers and socks. As he did so, he wiggled his butt in Sam's direction.

"Wise guy. You think you're so funny, don't you?" she said, smothering a grin.

"Um, yeah. As a matter of fact, I do," he said, turning back to face her with a smart-ass smirk on his lips.

"Boy, oh, boy. You deserve to be punished for your temerity."

"I thought you liked my butt."

"Great ass, Jack, but you should show me more respect during your thirty days of bondage." He responded by fluttering his eyelashes coquettishly, surprising her and making her laugh. "Enough of the back-talk, man. Strip!"

"Yes, ma'am."

He obeyed, opening the buttons of his shirt with exaggerated indolence. As he did so, Jack's tongue licked his lips and wiggled at her in a ludicrous mockery of a more sensual act. Sam could not help but chuckle.

Once he'd finished undressing, Jack did not move toward the bed but eyed her defiantly, a mocking grin on his face.

"Get your ass into this bed at once, you hear!" she demanded.

Still he did not move. "Make me… ma'am," he said tauntingly.

Sam considered him for a moment, wondering what move to make next. Then she threw back the bedcovers and teased him provocatively.

Jack drew in a breath, clearly uncertain what to do, whether to continue to defy her or obey her demand. "You're a wicked woman, you know that?" he said.

"Not as wicked as you, Jack."

"Mad, bad sex, huh?" he queried with a cock of his head.

"Mad and extremely bad," she promised.

"Anything you say ma'am," he replied, striding toward the bed and joining her at last. "Anything at all."

"Just as it should be, slave," she retorted with a lascivious grin. "I'm in charge."

"Right. I'll just lie here and do nothing then, right?" he said with an amused look.

"Right," she agreed, and her seduction began.

After their lovemaking, the blissful Jack embraced Sam lovingly. "Incredible, Sam. Jeez, I really got the better end of this deal when I married you."

Delighted by his obvious enjoyment, Sam smiled, stroking his back softly. "No, Jack, I got the better end of the deal."

Looking at her with a slight air of disbelief, he shook his head. "I don't know how you can think that but I'll take your word for it that you believe it's true. Keep thinking it, babe."

"Believe me, you got the raw end," she replied seriously, but Jack gestured denial with a wave of his hand. Taking him by surprise, she kissed him, stunning him with the look of longing in her eyes.

"What, you want more?" he asked with astonishment and she smiled seductively. "I've had it, Sam. I'm shattered!"

"I'm sure I can find ways of perking you up," she said with a grin.

"You think?" he queried and she nodded. "No sleep for poor General Jack?" She shook her head. "Gee, I guess the two stars on my uniform mean nothing to an Air Force girl like you. Next to useless, eh?"

Laughing, she kissed his shoulders where the stars would normally appear. "I don't see any stars. In fact, I don't see any uniform."

Frankly, Jack did not believe he was physically up to more lovemaking but Sam was a patient woman. In the end, she turned out to be right about finding ways of perking him up, that's for sure.

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Servitude to his wife did not seem like such a bad thing to Jack, not like he had imagined, or so far anyway. Their bet had been a mistake, he knew that. He had been too drunk, should never have been so cocky and should have known he would lose. His fault. Could he really blame Sam for taking advantage of his vulnerability? Given a similar opportunity, he might have done the same thing to her. Just a bit of fun, right? Or not, depending on what she demanded from him.

Jack recognized Sam could be quite devious if she so chose. That she might think up various tasks that he would hate doing, and she knew him well enough to identify what could drive him nuts. On the face of it, it seemed this was not her intention. They had only just got married so he figured she wouldn't come up with anything too awful this early on. On the other hand, it was early days and there were twenty-nine such days left.

Sam was not the only wily one in this marriage, though. Jack had cunningly managed to turn the luggage thing around to suit him and Sam amply rewarded him for his obedience. So worth it. If all twenty-nine remaining days went anything like the first, he would be more than a happy camper. He suspected, however, that Sam might have a few less pleasant tricks up her sleeve, but a little drudgery and boredom would be a small price to pay for similar compensation.

His wife was still sleeping and he gazed at her affectionately, softly running a finger down her cheek but careful not to wake her. She needed to rest. They both did after the antics of the previous day and night. It had been quite a day. Another good day to remember when he was feeling lonely and missing her.

All too rapidly, their work would separate them again. Frankly, he did not want to return to DC, would far rather stay in Colorado with his wife, but the only way he could do that was by retiring, or going AWOL. Jack was not prepared to do either of those things, not even for Sam.

He no longer needed to consider the possibility of retirement as a means to have a relationship with her. Despite his gripes about the work in DC, Jack knew he still had a lot to offer his country. DC politics and scheming were not his favorite pastimes, although actually he was better at both than he ever imagined, but the SGC and Homeworld Security could still benefit from his particular expertise. The fact surprised him more than it seemed to anyone else, and it pleased him to continue feeling useful and needed.

Who knew what he would do with his time once he finally retired? Play at house husband for his beautiful, genius of a wife, perhaps? Proudly watch her success from the sidelines? One day, maybe, and that day was not going to be easy to deal with. Jack knew he was close to the end of his useful working life. He kind of envied the many years Sam still had left in the service, should she want to continue, and he did not want that envy to drive a wedge between them. She was too precious to him, and he was too proud of her in every conceivable way.

Sam was a good officer, the kind their country needed. He loved her and she deserved his unwavering support. Jack wanted the best for her in everything, despite that niggling envy. So he would have to find something else to occupy him apart from just fishing - something to keep him busy in his retirement.

Maybe he and Jimmy would have a whole chain of high class restaurants by then, he contemplated with a small smile at the preposterous notion. Maybe Jimmy's silent partner would begin to get noisier. As if! Not on either count, he'd bet. Idly Jack wondered what Jimmy might think about that idea. Not a lot, he imagined. Jimmy preferred the emphasis to be on the silent part of their deal, and Jack wanted it that way too.

From the get go, Jack intended the loan to Jimmy as a favor for an old and dear friend. The investment angle was just a bonus he hoped would pay off. If it didn't, he would have lost some money but he never wanted to lose his friend.

Hospitality management was not really his style, he thought, shaking his head and wondering why the heck he was even thinking about it. He hadn't retired yet, damn it, and he was beginning to get maudlin about the prospect already.

Post-honeymoon blues, he figured. Something along those lines anyway. Maybe mixed with the knowledge that he had very little time remaining to spend with his wife. Too short a time to spend it navel gazing or down in the dumps. Jack wanted the last couple of days with Sam to be happy and memorable ones. More memories for that stock of unforgettable moments he could call upon to cheer him up when he needed it back in DC. The honeymoon was not over yet even though they were home again.

"Happy thoughts, Jack, happy thoughts," he told himself in a small whisper, turning his attentions back to studying his sleeping wife. She stirred slightly, and he held his breath, concerned that he woke her. A lock of hair flopped over her face and he gently combed it away with the tips of his fingers. She looked so tranquil.

Sam had come a long way since they had first met all those years ago. Not only in her development as an officer in the Air Force but as a person. He had never even imagined that the tense individual he had originally met would blossom into the kind of woman who had been so rampant in bed the previous night. If they carried on like that, life with Sam was going to be sweet - although he might be dead before he was sixty!

Jack chuckled quietly to himself at the thought. What a way to go! He'd die with a smile on his face and sure could think of worse things to happen.

Leaning forward, he fondly touched his lips to the tip of her nose. If it weren't for the fact they would starve, and they would be brought up on charges for going AWOL, he would happily stay like this forever.

Sam was so much more passionate than he had ever anticipated, so much more giving. More feminine too. Sexy and sensual. He loved her intellect too; sure he did, even if he didn't understand what she said half of the time. Once he had told her that she was a national treasure, he recalled, smiling ruefully at the memory of her coming to his house thinking he was dying. The same old tap dance they had done far too many times since they'd met.

Now she was his treasure and he was hers - to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Not just meaningless words. Jack meant every one of them. Forever and always. Never Alone - the Jack and Sam motto.

"Ought to have it engraved in Latin on a family crest," he muttered amusedly, thinking maybe he should speak to Daniel about it. That sure would give Sam a kick.

She stirred again, this time opening her sleep laden eyes a little. Jack loved that drowsy look on Sam and he briefly realized he had been hoping she would wake up; kidding himself that he wanted to let her sleep. He wished to see that look at least one final time before returning to DC. Well, he always had been an arrogant, selfish bastard, he thought. Sam knew what she had been getting herself into when she married him.

"Morning wife," he uttered in a low voice.

She smiled, stretching to rouse herself in that way Jack also loved to watch.

"Morning… slave."

Jack smirked. "More nights like that and you'll have a dead slave on your hands," he joked.

"What? The great Jack O'Neill can't keep up with the lowly Mrs. O'Neill?" she riposted.

Jack rolled his eyes. Great Jack O'Neill my ass. "Lowly? Oh puhleeze!" he replied, flourishing a dismissive hand. Then he kissed her, taking her by surprise. She tasted of sleep. Kind of nice, he thought.

"Well, good morning husband!" she exclaimed with a smile. "You taste of toothpaste."

"Minty freshness, that's me." He grinned, winking.

"I don't want to kill off my slave," she kidded.

"I think your slave can get his act together. The body is shattered, but it's all in the mind you know. Just give me my orders, ma'am."

Despite what he had just said, he was convinced his body would fail to obey him. Jack genuinely felt worn out. There was no reason, however, why he could not find other ways to please his eager younger wife.

Sam was not overly demanding, or Jack didn't think so. They seemed to fit, to find each other sexy and sensual and know how to turn the other one on. After all the deprivation during the years they had worked together, now they were free to make love whenever they wanted to, the couple enjoyed every moment.

Sam gave him a long hard look. "Bathroom," she said, promptly getting out of bed.

"Oh, so the great Samantha Carter can't keep up with her lowly slave," he teased.

"I'll be back," she responded with her best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression, making Jack chuckle.

"Make it soon."

Shortly she returned, slipping back into the bed beside him and giving him a hug. "I wish we could wake up like this together every day," she commented wistfully.

"Me too. So let's take advantage of the mornings we have, eh?" He waggled his eyebrows evocatively and she grinned.

"Mistress and slave's thoughts are as one. You lead."

"It's a slave's role to pleasure his mistress," he replied, caressing her tanned flesh lightly as he spoke. "Your wish is my command. This slave figures he could lie here all day."

"Really? Well, generally speaking we both have universes to save and all of that."

"Yeah, I guess that kind of makes it worth getting up in the mornings."

"But not today."

"No, not today. We have to give some other poor schmuck the opportunity to save universes, right?"

She nodded agreement with a grin and he kissed her, long hard and deep.

"I'm a little bit tired after yesterday," she confessed as they stopped kissing and instantly he broke off from fondling her too.

"Ummm… well, I am too. I'm bushed and not sure I'm up to much, Dorothy, but I'm not gonna let that stop me pleasing my wife. Do you want me to stop?" he asked seriously.

"No way Mr. Dorothy." She smiled and Jack started caressing her again, sinking his teeth into her delicate neck.

"Sex machine," he teased.

"And that's a bad thing? Look who's talking!"

Ignoring her jibe, Jack continued his avid attentions. Admittedly, after he made love to her he fell asleep immediately, but that was okay because Sam did too.

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She jerked awake later when loud knocking at her front door rudely interrupted their restorative slumber. Instantly roused by the intrusion, Jack sat up cursing.

"Crap!" he exclaimed irritably. "Wanna bet it's Daniel here to welcome us back and find out how the honeymoon went. He has an unerring sense of bad timing as far as we are concerned."

Sam giggled, making a move to get up, but Jack grabbed her. "Don't answer it Sam."

"If it's Daniel I'll tell him to go home but it might be something important."

Jack groaned but let her up and Sam quickly slipped on a large t-shirt and Jack's boxers because they happened to be closest. They were both way too big but he eyed her appreciatively nonetheless. Getting up himself, he threw on a shirt and his jeans and followed.

A stranger stood at the door and Sam was nodding. "Thanks Mac," she said taking the parcel he proffered. "It's not Carter anymore, by the way, it's O'Neill."

Jack watched from down the hall, hanging back and smiling to himself. He was thinking 'O'Neill. You betchya!'

The delivery man, Mac apparently, grinned merrily. "Oh, you got married! Congratulations… Mrs. O'Neill!"

"Thanks," she replied, grinning back.

"Jeez, all this time waiting for you and you went off and married another guy," Mac said and Sam laughed obligingly, signing for the package. Mac turned to walk away and Sam halted him, her hand lightly grasping his shoulder.

"Oh, Mac, that's O'Neill with two lls, by the way," she commented humorously and Jack chortled, giving himself away, but he figured she knew he was standing there watching anyway. She always knew.

"What is it?" he asked inquisitively as she sauntered back down the hall toward him.

"Don't know." Waltzing past him into the kitchen, she placed the parcel on the table. "Don't know if I care." Sitting down, she looked up at him as he entered behind her. "Make coffee, slave," she commanded.

Jack grunted as if objecting, but started to look for the coffee anyway. "Have we actually got any coffee? We haven't been shopping."

"Unopened pack in that cupboard," she told him, pointing.

"Then can we open the mystery package… ma'am?" he asked plaintively, filling the kettle with water.

"My, my. Slaves should not be so curious about the parcels their mistresses receive," she admonished.

"How about husbands?"

Sam looked at him and laughed. Jack was like a big kid sometimes. The boyish expression on his face proved that.

"Anyone would think it was addressed to you," she commented with feigned acidity.

"What's yours is mine… Mrs. O'Neill," he quipped.

Kid in a candy store. Apparently, Jack liked mystery packages. Another previously unknown fact about her husband she stashed away.

"Fine," she said with an indulgent sigh. "Mrs. O'Neill will open it over coffee. That okay with you slave?"

Jack did not reply, simply smiling and continuing to make their drinks. When he sat down next to her with two steaming cups, he eyed her expectantly.

"Any idea who it's from?" he asked.

Sam examined the package. "Looks like Betsy. Now what the heck would she be sending me something for?"

She had to admit she was getting curious too and Sam gently shook the parcel, trying to judge what might be inside by its weight, feel and sound. It was light and unhelpfully did not make any indicative noises at all.

"Hey, she addressed it to Sam Carter! Should I feel slighted?" Jack whined, making Sam laugh. His pouting reaction to her amusement simply made her chortle even harder.

"Old habits I suppose…" she replied.

"Huh!" His glower deepened. "And what was it about us getting married that she missed? For crying out loud, she was Matron of Honor!"

He continued in grumbling mode for a while but Sam knew he was kidding around and smirked gleefully. Meanwhile, the parcel remained firmly unopened and in the end, Jack tailed off from griping and glared at her.

"So, why don't you just open it?" he said with a tinge of childlike impatience. She glanced at him fondly, pleased to have discovered this vice of boyish curiosity, and started to rip the package open. Secretly, she hoped Betsy had not sent something she would not wish for Jack to see, but then they should have no secrets from each other, right?

"Oh!" she exclaimed with pleasure when she saw the contents. Jack arched his eyebrows, whistling under his breath. Inside was some sexy lingerie. A tight fitting strapless bodice and skimpy panties in scarlet red silk with black trim. There was also a note. Hastily, Sam thrust the underwear aside to open it and Jack picked the silk up, smoothing it in his hands.

"Nice!" he observed, beginning to imagine his wife wearing it. Sam ignored his reaction and studied the note.

"Saw this and thought of you," it said. "Hope you enjoyed the honeymoon. Dying to chat! Call me once Jack leaves. This should get his attention, although I doubt he's lost it. Welcome home! Betsy x"

Sam read it to him and he took her hand. "It's got my attention all right."

"Then I'll have to try it on later," she responded with a grin.

"And there I was thinking that slaves were unpaid," he quipped jauntily.

"Not this one," she said, her grin broadening. "Even the lowest of the low deserve some kind of reward."

Jack chuckled. "Very generous of you, mistress mine." He squeezed her hand and then raised it to his mouth and kissed it.

Sam shivered, staring into his dark eyes and wondering if she would ever fail to find her husband exciting. Maybe one day when she was old and grey, but she hoped not. She was well aware that familiarity could breed contempt but held onto better hopes than that for them. Having encountered other couples who had been together for years that still seemed besotted with each other, she wanted her and Jack to be like them.

"Gee, I really love you, Jack," she said and he seemed taken aback by her sudden declaration, squeezing her hand again but saying nothing. She indicated the new underwear with her free hand. "This has got to be sexier than a large t-shirt worn with your boxers."

"I wouldn't bet on that. Mr. Scarecrow thinks Dorothy looks pretty hot just the way she is."

"Wow!" she countered, feeling her face flush. "You must need glasses."

Jack let go of her hand and gave her an adoring look, making her quiver once again. "Coffee's getting cold," he said as if no frisson of something had just passed between them but keeping his eyes fixed on hers.

She groped for her coffee mug, unable to break eye contact, and took a small sip.

"You are the sexiest man I ever met in my life, you know that?" she said in a low whisper.

"I've heard it said," he replied with a quirky smile and brushing his fingers over her cheek.

Sam was sure she felt her flush deepening. She could not seem to get enough of this man. Even after all the sex they had had over the last few days, she still wanted him.

They continued to stare silently at each other for quite a while before Jack finally pulled his eyes away, biting his lip with what appeared to be confusion or perhaps discomfort. Jack never was that great at accepting compliments gracefully, she thought. He grabbed his coffee and started to drink, glancing at her from over the rim of the cup. Tension sizzled around them like electricity in the surrounding air.

"What's on your mind, Jack?" she asked eventually, having realized his demeanor was not a simple matter of being self-conscious about her flattery. He stayed mute for what seemed like long moments while she waited for him to respond.

"Um…" he started falteringly, his uneasiness escalating. "I er… Sam, do you want to try and make babies?" This was evidently not just a throw away remark. He was very serious indeed but had caught her off-guard and she did not know what to say.

"So soon?" she asked after a long pause to consider.

Jack was studying her, trying to judge her reaction. "Too soon?" he queried.

It was not like they had never discussed the idea before but Sam had to confess she was surprised he had raised it so quickly after their marriage.

"I-I don't know," she stammered. "I-I guess if we are going to have a child we need to get started before I get too old."

"You want us to have a baby?"

He was still hiding behind his cup although Sam thought he had probably finished the drink. She pulled the cup away from his face and gently forced him to place it on the table.

"You know I do, Jack. Our baby. Of course I want that."

"Not ready?"

"Not sure I'll ever be what might be considered ready," she replied candidly. "Is anyone?"

"No one really knows what they are letting themselves in for if that's what you mean. I know how much you love your work Sam; that you have a career to consider too. No pressure, just sayin'."

Yes, she had a career to consider but Sam did want a child, Jack's child. She did not want her work to get in the way of that. Other people juggled career and children, but a baby would change everything in ways she could not even imagine. The notion of motherhood was slightly scary for many different reasons, and certainly not all of them job related.

"I don't want to leave it until it's too late," she said. "I want to be a mother and I want you to be a father again because I know you'll be a great dad." She squeezed his hand gently and smiled. "I just… don't we need some time for ourselves first? Get used to being Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill?"

Jack seemed to think about those words. "Maybe. But we have no idea how long it would take for you to get pregnant. Some couples wait for years. Some can't… well, you know. Sam…" He made sure he caught her eyes before continuing, wanting her to understand what he said was sincere. "I've always said I want to be with you more than I want a kid and I still mean that. You are my family. You, Cassie, Daniel and Teal'c. I don't need more than that, which doesn't mean I don't want it, but you have to want it too." He shrugged uncertainly. "Yeah, well maybe my timing is a bit off."

Sam thought about it, doing a Jack by sipping her coffee as cover. She seriously wondered whether she should stop taking her pill straight away, but had reservations.

"I want it, Jack, but it scares me as well," she admitted and Jack nodded.

He knew this already and empathized because the idea of becoming a father again worried him in some ways too but for different reasons. His past. Charlie. Jack knew he could never go through that again, doubted he'd survive that most harrowing kind of loss for a second time, but there was always a risk. Nothing in life is a sure thing. Worth the possibility for a second chance to be a father, a better one this time around, he thought. Not worth even the remotest of chances of losing Sam, although he didn't really believe that would ever happen.

"Whatever you want, Sam. I'll support your decision, back you all the way. I guess deep down I know it's too soon, that we need some time to adjust to marriage, but... just think about it."

Smiling sweetly, she nodded agreement. She would think about it, she really would. Sam loved kids as much as Jack did and still craved that normal life she had so wanted when foolishly throwing herself into Pete Shanahan's arms. She and Jack, however, were not a normal couple. They did the impossible and unimaginable with their lives. Among other misgivings, she still had qualms about how all that fitted in with having a child.

Sam knew Jack suffered doubts as well, despite his deep-seated desire, and she understood why. He had trust issues about himself, he had fears. That was only natural after what had happened with Charlie, she supposed. Although Sam realized she could never truly empathize about those awful events that had changed his life so fundamentally. How could she when she'd not had children of her own, had never been in that situation?

She would never truly know what Jack felt about Charlie, his culpability and loss, but she could make an informed guess. They had talked about it. Another one of those candid Jack moments he had persisted with before he would consider asking her to marry him. Sam appreciated that he had opened himself up, wanted her to know what she would be getting if she accepted his eventual proposal.

Sam knew, all right, and loved him more for all of it. Leaning toward him, she kissed his lips lightly and smiled. "I will think about it, I promise."

"I love you, Carter, and nothing will ever change that," he said. It had been quite a while since he had referred to her as Carter and Sam was surprised.

"Carter?" she queried.

Jack shrugged carelessly and grinned in a gauche kind of way. "Force of habit."

"A habit I thought you'd broken."

"I guess I was reverting to type," he replied, seeming to ponder his lapse.

"Oh? Love and Carter are not two words I can recall coming up in the same sentence that much," she teased.

"Probably never."

She wondered if his slip meant something or nothing, quickly dismissing the thought as unimportant. "I've kind of missed you calling me Carter," she confessed.

"Sometimes I have to consciously stop myself. Not always easy but I'm not your CO anymore, Sam. If I was, we wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation."

"Heaven forbid, but I know what you mean. Sometimes I still have to force myself to not call you sir."

"Mr. Scarecrow is a heck of a lot less respectful, that's for sure."

Sam giggled, placing a hand on top of his. "Mistresses don't have to be respectful to their slaves," she joked, amused by his responding pout. Here we go again, she thought, but had to admit Jack looked cute when he sulked in that boyish way. Or when he wasn't being serious about it, anyway, like right now.

"And what about wives and their husbands?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Or husbands and their wives?" she countered.

Smirking, Jack indicated his lap. "C'mere," he suggested, so she moved out of her chair and sat on his knee like he wanted, giving him a big hug. "So, what does the mistress have in mind for her slave today?"

"I'll think of something."

"Does it include going back to bed? Showing off that new lingerie perhaps?" he queried with a grin and a wink.

"Mmmm… maybe later."

"Later?"

"As I said, I don't want to end up killing off my slave," she teased, winking back.

He grinned, kissing her greedily, and she responded in kind - not the easiest of kissing angles for either of them to achieve with her sitting on his knee. Then, to Jack's surprise, Sam extricated herself from his grasp and stood up, whisking away their coffee mugs.

"More?" she asked.

"You don't want slave boy to make it?" Jack queried and she patted him on the head mockingly.

"No, you just sit there and rest Scarecrow man. I don't want to wear you out. I have plans."

"Plans you say? Oh, and what would they be?" His face bore a smug expression that Sam thought he deserved to have wiped off those adorable but also exasperating features.

"I think the fridge needs a good clear out and clean," she replied with an internal titter, walking over and opening the door. "Yuck!" she exclaimed, quickly closing it again. As she had forgotten to clear it out before they went on their honeymoon, the fridge smelled like some kind of unpleasant experiment gone wrong. "Gee there's milk in there that's so solid it doesn't even need a carton." She turned to face Jack, amused by his grimace.

"You're kidding, right?" he said and when she shook her head, his face fell even further. She knew he hated cleaning the fridge. "Oh, Sam…!" he whined.

Grinning, she approached and kissed his cheek. "Don't forget how well I reward my slaves."

Jack half-smiled. "You have more than one?" he joked.

"The one I have is more than enough to handle, thanks very much."

His smile turned ironic. "So, what are you gonna do, sit and watch?"

"Well, I'd like nothing better than to watch my husband at work. He's kind of cute and has a great ass. But I think on this occasion I might give him a hand."

His ironic smile changed to an all out grin as he considered how he might turn the detested fridge cleaning chore to his advantage. "Really?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Sam giggled. They had made love in the kitchen before now and no doubt would again. Maybe today, maybe not.

"Well, never alone and all that," she said.

Those words forced a chuckle from Jack's lips and he stood up and grabbed her, pulling her close and giving her a hug. His lips brushed her neck before he drew back.

"Never alone," he repeated, beaming happily. "I sure like the sound of that."

"Me too," she said, briefly kissing him on the lips.

"There's no place like home, eh Dorothy?" Jack sighed wistfully and Sam was compelled to agree. When Jack O'Neill was around, there definitely was no place like home. Not anymore.

The End

_"True love stories never have endings." Richard Bach_

**Author's endnote: **

After all this time, I have mixed feelings about finishing this series. Who would have thought my standalone Never Alone fic would turn into this 41 part monster? Certainly not me! I will miss this particular iteration of Jack and Sam and the other characters I have expanded upon or created for this series. For various reasons, however, it is long past time for this series to go.

Completion will free my time for other projects. I promised many readers I would get them married by the end and I have so my work is done. Now this story is getting old and stale for me and I want and need to get on with some different things. A lot of readers seem to have lost interest over the many months and delays with new chapters so they obviously agree. I figure they would probably prefer I have the extra time for other things too.

I hope you enjoy my future work! :-)


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